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Day 8 Assignment
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David’s Thriller Plot!
“What I learned is…?” This organization helps to visualize the timing of the sequences. Do they end up in a standard structure with the appropriate timing? What can be shown and what left out to tighten the plot?
List out your structure using whatever structure you are comfortable with.
OPENING: ORIGIN OF TREASURE – FLASHBACK HISTORY.
INQUISITOR’S GOLD ROOM – TAMPICO – 1790
Inquisitors beating Indians making gold bullion, polishing jewels, loading gold.
View of galleon The Santa Elena through window.
Conquistadores hate and fear Inquisition.
DECK SANTA ELENA – STORM
An Inquisitor washed overboard rather than release gold.
Inquisitor steps over trapped conquistador rather than free him.
One Conquistador tries to cut his friend free with his golden sword, but both become trapped. Inquisitor Navigator escapes.
AND/OR
OPENING: Lure us into the story and introduce the lead character in action.
Late night. Dark street. Old church. A few cars parked. Closed shops. Two men get out of the car. Dressed in hoods and robes. One guards door. One walks into the church. Greeted by priest. Stabs priest. Others get out of cars and enter church.
(Villain’s Plan 1: CULT TEMPLE (CHURCH) – PRESENT DAY
New Grand Inquisitor sworn in. Barbaric rituals. )
INCITING INCIDENT: An event that propels the Hero on the Journey.
Paul, an 18-year-old high school student, tries to enter the church, now surrounded by police. Says he was to meet his Uncle Jack. Let into church and sees priest dead on altar. Sees a cap Jack wears in evidence bag.
THREATS
1. Paul’s parish priest is murdered on the altar of his church. Paul’s Uncle Jack was seen with him shortly before the murder. Is this a threat or an attack on a friend?
MYSTERIES.
1. Paul’s father was killed in a rescue attempt, previously.
2. Priest sacrificed. Jack talked to him about Inquisition and treasure.
3. Jack set up as a murderer of the priest.
Villain’s Plan 1A.
Must get treasure and restore the Inquisition to its ancient glory. Kill all of Cajun treasure map owning family.
TURNING POINT : A major twist that locks the hero into the conflict. Point of no return.
Uncle Jack disappears from blood-stained house.
THREATS.
2. Was he killed? Paul investigates involving himself in danger.
3. Paul’s locker is searched. A fellow student is watching him.
4. Paul is threatened and told to reveal the secret. He doesn’t know a secret.
5. Paul meets cool, cute Sandy who seems to like him. Timid, bullied Paul wonders why.
6. Paul is deathly afraid of spiders. Why does his uncle keep a large spider on his boat?
7. Paul realizes he is being followed by a rough-looking character.
8. Paul finds his neighbor in his yard with his throat cut and a shotgun nearby.
9. Paul learns from his mother their family has murdered too.
MYSTERIES.
4. Uncle Jack disappears – blood stains at his ransacked house.
5. Paul’s house and school locker searched.
6. Paul beaten to confess something he doesn’t know.
7. Desirable Sandy falls for nerdy Paul.
(8. Jack meets Lenny in a bar and enlists him in the treasure hunt.)
9. Paul terrified by spiders, like the big one Jack keeps aboard his boat.
10. Why does Jack keep a large spider?
11. Paul is being followed by a tough looking man.
12. Paul’s neighbor has his throat cut while Paul is nearby.
13. Paul’s mother admits to being a murderer.
14.Jack’s boat searched. Cultists discuss their religion.
Villain’s Plan 2
PAUL’S SCHOOL – NIGHT
Paul leaving school. Suddenly, power off. Walks downstairs. Spooky noises, flitting shapes. Skeleton on door of Biology Lab. Reaches bottom – relieved. Door slams open. Beaten by Cult member. Threatened with knife. What is the secret of the map?
MIDPOINT: A major revelation. The opposition is 10 times worse than thought.
Paul learns that his family is searching for a treasure ship and a murderous Cult is in competition.
THREATS.
10. The Grand Inquisitor feeds a Cult family, who tried to leave, to trained alligators.
11. Jack returns. The man following Paul is Lenny, a man Jack picked up in a bar. Lenny has the skills needed for the treasure hunt. Should Jack trust him?
12. Sandy is lured to a Cult party. Paul goes to rescue her knowing it may be a trap. Was he setup?
13. Paul thinks he has solved the mystery of the map. Paul, Jack and Lenny check out Paul’s idea with Jason, a marine archeologist at the University Marine Station.
MYSTERIES.
15. Uncle Jack returns.
16. Apostate Cult family killed.
17. Paul learns he belongs to a treasure- hunting- family and they have a map.
18. Sandy is attacked.
19. Paul goes to a Cult party.
Villain’s Plan 3
SCHOOL LIBRARY
Paul’s research on treasure spied on.
SCHOOL CAFETERIA
A student-Cult member starts fight with Paul over Sandy, his girlfriend. Claims she belongs to a family associated with the Cult. Paul suspended from school.
CULT TEMPLE
The Cult may be trying to plant one of theirs into Paul’s treasure-hunting group.
DOCK
Sandy is threatened with assault.
TURNING POINT 2: Major setback. The lowest of the low.
Paul thinks he solved the mystery of the map, but an exhaustive search finds nothing. The team breaks up. The Cult frames him for a crime. He is expelled.
THREATS.
14. Paul sabotages the Cult boat. The treasure hunters go after the treasure.
15. They dive for days, but do not find any treasure. They return, exhausted.
16. The group is angry at Paul for wasting their time. They break up.
17. Jack is kidnapped by the Cult and taken to a Cult house on a spooky bayou. He is tortured to give information on the map.
18. Paul reforms the group to rescue Jack. They kidnap a Cultist and force him to show them the house.
19. Paul’s friends free Jack.
20. Paul’s friends are captured.
21. Paul frees his friends.
22. Paul is framed for a crime.
23. Paul stabbed to death.
MYSTERIES.
20. Paul thinks he solved the mystery of the map.
21. Jason checks solution’s accuracy.
22. Paul sabotages the Cult’s boat – almost caught.
23. Paul’s friends go after the treasure – none found. How was Paul wrong?
24. Group breaks up – angry at Paul.
25. Captain Jack is kidnapped by the Cult. Paul finds out.
26. Paul reorganizes the group to go after Jack.
27. Group kidnaps Cult member. Forces him to lead them to Cult house in bayou.
28. Group frees Jack. Then group captured. Then Paul frees them.
29. Paul framed for a crime.
30. Paul killed (a dream).
Villain’s Plan 4
DOCK
Paul’s Uncle Jack the chief of the treasure-hunting family is kidnapped.
CULT’S BAYOU HOUSE
Dark, spooky house on bayou. Jack is tortured. Rescued by Paul and friends. Then they are all captured.
SCHOOL
Paul is framed for a crime and expelled.
CLIMAX: The ultimate expression of the main conflict.
The Cult and Paul’s team go boat-to-boat and hand-to-hand in a battle to the death.
THREATS.
24. Paul comes up with a second solution to the map’s secret.
25. Convinces his friends to try a second search.
26. The group starts their second voyage. The Cult does not attempt to follow.
27. The cult has put a tracker on Paul’s boat and takes their ammo.
28. Paul’s mother is kidnapped.
29. Sandy rescues her.
30. Cult attacks Paul’s group while the divers are below. Cult throws blood in the water. Sharks gather and attack the divers.
31. The Cultists attack Paul and Jack. Jack knocked out. Paul takes over.
32. Paul faces his greatest fear.
32. The Cult is defeated. The divers are rescued. The Grand Inquisitor jumps to the sharks.
33. The group is exhausted, but Paul convinces them to try one last time.
34. They find the treasure.
35. They are betrayed.
MYSTERIES.
31. Paul has second solution for the map.
32. Convinces group to try again.
33. Paul’s boat leaves port. Cult not interested, apparently.
34. A tracker device was put on Paul’s boat and their ammo removed.
35. Paul’s mother kidnapped.
36. Sandy rescues mother.
37. Cult commits piracy.
38. Treasure found.
39. Betrayal.
Villain’s Plan 5
DOCK
A tracker device is put on Paul’s boat. Their ammo is removed.
PAUL’S HOUSE
Paul’s mother is kidnapped.
FAR INTO THE GULF
Piracy and boat-to-boat and hand-to-hand fighting.
Treasure recovered.
Betrayal.
RESOLUTION: The end of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way.
Paul gets the treasure and a girl and his self-confidence. He overcomes his personal opponent.
THREATS.
36. Paul conquers his nemesis.
MYSTERIES.
40. Ending
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Rachell’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned… Layers and depth are starting to emerge. The more I let the story tell itself to me, the easier it is. It’s all just one big puzzle. Taking breaks and coming back to the project was essential to relieving frustration and realizing next steps.
Using Blake Snyder’s “Save the Cat!” Structure. Numbers in parentheses represent page numbers of script. I used LTS to indicate Life Threatening Situations as I identified them. I similarly placed Mystery and Intrigue (Villain’s Plan) into other places I thought appropriate.
Opening Image (1) Dead Body – Cyn is a forensic photographer in L.A.
Theme Stated (5) Misogynistic male dominated world
Set-up (1-10) Cyn is an addict (LTS) with an emotionally disturbing career. She’s running from her past and does whatever she can to not feel her feelings. She experiences self-loathing and lets men take advantage of her (LTS).
Jules is a nurse, Cyn’s sister who stayed behind. She’s burnt out and tired. Show her taking care of their mother at home.
Xander is a con-man, show him in action. He and Jules are dating (Intrigue).
Mother is murdered by an unknown hand (LTS).
Catalyst (12) Cyn gets a phone call from Jules letting her know her mother has died and she needs to return to VT to execute the will.
Debate (12-25) Cyn wrestles with whether to go home or not. What choice does she have? Why did her mother leave everything to her when Jules was the obvious heir (Mystery)?
Break into Two (25) Cyn landing in VT during the terrible snow storm (LTS).
She gets to her mother’s house, sees where she passed away, and takes photos of the scene. Jules thinks she’s sick for photographing it (Mystery).
B Story (30) Cyn meets her stepmother and really wants to hate her, but ends up liking her a lot (Mystery). This is supposed to be the ‘love story,’ but since her stepmother is Xander’s evil mother, Cyn will end up learning to love herself through their interactions.
Fun and Games (30-55) Cyn and Jules clash, Cyn parties with Xander (Alex), Cyn cashes in on her inheritance (what is it), and spends time with her stepmother (Intrigue).
Use this time to reveal the history of the Bardot family and how Cyn and Alex know each other (Intrigue).
Midpoint (55) False Victory. Cyn thinks she’s figured out how her mother really died and confronts Jules (LTS). Cyn holds a gun on Jules while she interrogates her.
The confrontation brings to light the truth of their mother’s death, but also, if Jules didn’t do it, who did (Mystery)?
They figure out Xander was the only one who had access (Intrigue).
Xander’s secret plan is revealed when Cyn questions Jules – They started dating after Mom got sick, he pushed Jules to get Mom to finalize her will, he wanted her to take the extra meds from the hospital in case mom needed them (Mystery/Intrigue).
They have to bring him to justice (LTS).
Cyn brings her forensic photos to the police. The crime scene is still mostly intact, she wants them to investigate.
Bad Guys Close In (55-75) Xander and his mother (Cyn’s stepmother) have inside information from their closeness to her (LTS). They need to drive a wedge between the sisters (Intrigue).
If Cyn’s got all the money Xander doesn’t need Jules anymore (LTS). Can he get Cyn to kill her or will he have to do it himself (Mystery/Intrigue)?
Jules disappears (LTS).
Police can’t find “Xander,” he doesn’t exist. Cyn can’t prove her mother was murdered and has no way to account for what happened to her sister (Mystery).
Cyn is questioned as a person of interest in the wrongful death of her mother and the disappearance of her sister (LTS).
All is Lost (75) Cyn is being held. She has no information that is helpful to the police, only that which makes her look guilty (Mystery).
During the “All is Lost” moment it is important to have a “whiff of death.” I’m considering having Cyn share a cell with a woman who appears dead (Mystery)…
Dark Night of the Soul (75-85) Cyn calls out to the police to attend to the dead woman, but they don’t listen. Turns out the “corpse” is just passed out hard.
Cyn spills her guts to the unconscious woman, running through all she’s done wrong, trying to figure out what the answer could be (Mystery).
She’s sure she’s lost her job at this point, lost her sister, depressed (Intrigue).
This corpse woman might wake up and say “Alex” is “Xander” or maybe Cyn figures it out herself. Some comic relief would be nice.
Cyn knows that Xander and Alex are the same person (LTS).
Break into Three (85) Solution = Alex is Xander (LTS).
Finale (85-110) How can she confront him without facing his wrath? Can she kill him without implicating herself (Mystery)?
Cyn needs to figure out that her stepmother is Xander’s mother and realize their connection and the web they’ve been spinning (LTS).
Final Image (110) Cyn photographing/documenting dead bodies to be sure she has covered up her crime scenes properly.
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It holds together. Nicely organized. Where is the father?
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Gledé’s Thriller Plot
What I learned during the assignment was the importance of structure and hitting the right beats at the right time to maximize the impact of the story, and most importantly, deliver thrills.
OPENING: SUV chasing a woman in a Mercedes!
Life threatening 1: Will he run her off the road and cause a crash?
Mystery 1: Who’s chasing the woman and why?
Mystery 2: Alessandro Rossi tells Shelby he’s being followed.
Mystery 3: The police pull over Shelby for a broken taillight that wasn’t there earlier in the day
Inciting Incident: Dead body discovered in Shelby’s car. The police arrest her.
Mystery 4: She doesn’t know how the body got in her car or who put it there.
Villain’s Plan 1: Contact the local news media and alert them to Shelby’s arrest for Alessandro Rossi’s murder before the information is made public.
Mystery 5: Why does Shelby refuse bail when it’s offered?
Mystery 6: How can Shelby prove she’s innocent while she’s been keeping secrets that make her look guilty?
Life threatening 2: Shelby receives a death threat [her children] while in prison.
Life threatening 3: News of her suspected involvement in the murder goes public. Jason’s ascension to the role of CEO is now in doubt.
Life threatening 4: Shelby’s fingerprints are all over the recently fired murder weapon; the only ones found.
Villain’s plan 2: Send Shelby’s husband to Louisiana on a wild goose to find Mia Lansing, who could provide evidence that could help identify the killer.
Mystery 7: Why did Alessandro Rossi visit Shelby’s workplace and sign the visitor’s log under a fake name?
Life threatening 5: The villain is operating covertly, privy to every move made to free Shelby and makes moves of her own to thwart those plans.
TURNING POINT 1: Jason learns that Mia Lansing is dead.
Villain’s Plan 3: Kill her psychiatrist to prevent him from going to the police with his suspicions about her.
MIDPOINT: The police and prosecutors believe they have a motive for the killing (to prevent Alessandro from revealing the affair to Shelby’s husband).
TURNING POINT 2: When it’s discovered that Mehmet Koczak returned to the U.S. over two years ago, all evidence points to him as the stalker and killer.
CLIMAX: A listening device, and prescription for Mia Lansing are discovered in the Cooper residence. Jason suspects Vivian and he and his investigator follow her and discover her secret apartment/command central.
RESOLUTION: Shelby confronts Vivian who lays out how she set up Shelby by setting a trap for Alessandro Rossi and killing him. Rather than face prison (the police were listening), she commits suicide.
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O’Keefe’s – Thriller Plot!
What I learned? I learned how this layering process enables you to keep each element separate and to tweak or add elements scene by scene. I still do not feel I have a real solid handle on the mystery aspect. Need to work on that
DAY EIGHT – ASSIGNMENT
[1] List out your structure using whatever structure you are comfortable with. Five act structure (see below)
[2] Inside your structure, fill in the gaps with: (1) Life Threatening situations (2) Mysteries (3) Villain’s plan (see below)
ACT ONE pg. 01
Scene 1: INT. CAMARO – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino in Cindy’s car having sex.
2. Life Threatening situation: they could be caught by cops
3. Mystery: Why is Cindy having an affair a student?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 2: EXT. CINDY’S HOME – NIGHT (24 HOURS EARLIER)
1. Action: Cindy is being spied on by 2 different men.
2. Life Threatening situation: one man has a knife, the other hidden cameras in her bedroom. 3. Mystery: why did man w/ knife plant a candy wrapper. Why does the second man have hidden cameras in Cindy’s bedroom.
4. Villain’s plan: man w/ knife is leaving clues to be found.
SCENE 3: INT. CAMARO – RESUME
1. Action: Dino & Cindy talk after sex; he’s her side piece.
2. Life Threatening situation: Cindy’s hubby shoots Dino.
3. Mystery: Why is Cindy having an affair w/ her student?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 4: NIGHTMARE INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING
1. Action: Dino is being threatened by man w/a gun.
2. Life Threatening situation: Might be shot
3. Mystery: who is the man and why that dream?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 5: INT. BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino is awakened by step-dad pounding on door.
2. Life Threatening situation: Threat of physical harm.
3. Mystery: Why the hostility.
4. Villain’s plan: NA – reveal Jim’s hatred of step-son.
SCENE 6: INT. BATHROOM – MORNING
1. Action: Dino grooms himself, gets ready for school.
2. Life Threatening situation: none
3. Mystery: what’s the bracelet have to do w/ his gramps?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 7: EXT. BACK PORCH – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino takes memory chip from nanny cam & leaves. 2. Life Threatening situation: riding that bike in am traffic
3. Mystery: What is with the nanny cam?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 8: INT. MASTER BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Step-dad points pretend gun at Dino as he leaves.
2. Life Threatening situation: intended harm to Dino
3. Mystery: What is the “surprise” he has in store for Dino.
4. Villain’s plan = some kind of nasty surprise
SCENE 9: EXT. LIVINGSTON – MINUTES LATER
1. Action: Dino riding his Ducati to school.
2. Life Threatening situation: car runs a stop sign.
3. Mystery: why does he ride that bike.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 10: EXT. ROSEMONT HIGH SCHOOL – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino weaves thru traffic, parks the bike.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why does he ride so reckless.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 11: EXT/INT. CLASSROOM – MORNING
1. Action: Dino meets new teacher; Cindy’s gone. Guilt!
2. Life Threatening situation: They know; he’ll be expelled
3. Mystery: why the new teacher won’t elaborate
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 12: INSERT – NEWSPAPER STREAMER
1. Action: Mrs. Lozano Murdered! Husband Finds Body In Bed 2. Life Threatening situation: Dino might be next
3. Mystery: who killed her and why
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 13: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Stunned, Dino winds up at his book locker
2. Life Threatening situation: a suspect,
3. Mystery: Why was she murdered.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 14: FLASHBACK – INT. CAMARO – LAST NIGHT
1. Action: Cindy pulls up to a store; Dino kids with her.
2. Life Threatening situation: none
3. Mystery: what is the pain they share, that links them.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
BACK TO PRESENT.
SCENE 15: INSERT – TEXT
1. Action: Dino texts Steph, ‘can’t do school. CYL8ER’.
2. Life Threatening situation: he’s a possible suspect
3. Mystery: who killed Cindy and when, after Dino saw her.
4. Villain’s plan: NA (is this the surprise Jim hinted at)
SCENE 16: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
1. Action: Meet Leah, Detective on Cindy’s murder.
2. Life Threatening situation:NA
3. Mystery: not one yet for her
4. Villain’s plan: in motion
SCENE 17: INSERT – PHOTOGRAPHS
1. Action: Opens envelope w/ photos of Dino & Cindy together. 2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Who is the boy w/ the murder vic?
4. Villain’s plan: Get Leah to investigate Dino; frame him.
SCENE 18: EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – MID-MORNING
1. Action: Dino parks where Cindy parked last night.
2. Life Threatening situation: possible suspect in murder.
3. Mystery: retraces steps to see if he’s on a camera
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 19: SERIES OF SHOTS:
1. Action: Dino’s recall of times w/ Cindy.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: the good times are gone, like they never were
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 20: INTERCUT: STEPH, GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM; DINO, HIS BIKE
1. Action: Steph calls; says she’s sorry; meet up for lunch
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Who killed Cindy
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 21: INT. POLICE STATION – LATER
1. Action: Leah calls Rodney, tells him she has a lead.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: who is this Dino person & did he do it.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 22: EXT. POLICE STATION – PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah gets on her blue Ducati and leaves.
2. Life Threatening situation: riding a motorcycle
3. Mystery: who is Dino and what is his relationship with Cindy
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 23: EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON
1. Action: Dino straddling his red Ducati on the phone.
2. Life Threatening situation: left semen in Cindy’s car.
3. Mystery: who did it; he fears he is a suspect.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 24: INSERT – FOLDED SHEET OF PAPER
1. Action: Dino makes paper airplane out of exam & flies it.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: his comment reflects his fear and feelings.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 25: EXT. HIGHWAY – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah follows Dino on bike to pizza place.
2. Life Threatening situation: his reckless driving.
3. Mystery: How does he not have any speeding tickets.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 26: EXT/INT. PIZZA PARLOR – LUNCH
1. Action: Leah parks, follows Dino in, sees the gang.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why does he give Steph & Jerome $
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 27: EXT. PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah introduces herself; Dino flirts.
2. Life Threatening situation: he wants to take her racing.
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 28: EXT. COASTAL HIGHWAY – LATER
1. Action: Dino sees Leah following; loses her, pulls off.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: who is she really?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 29: INTERCUT: DINO, ON DUCATI; JEROME, HIS CAR.
1. Action: Dino calls Jerome, gives him her license plate.
2. Life Threatening situation:
3. Mystery: who is she really?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 30: INT. VISITATION ROOM – LATER
1. Action: Dino & Luke talk using memories as a code.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: their code for communicating via memories
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing and eavesdropping on them.
SCENE 31: INT. CUBBY-HOLE OFFICE – LATER
1. Action: Jim reviews the recording, wants engraving plates.
2. Life Threatening situation: For Leah, if she keeps snooping into his affairs
3. Mystery: why the obsession
4. Villain’s plan: Make Luke give him the engraving plates.
SCENE 32: EXT. FEDERAL PENITENTIARY – PARKING LOT – LATER
1. Action: Dino hears back from Jerome; Leah’s a detective.
2. Life Threatening situation: fear of incarceration.
3. Mystery: how did she find him so fast?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing and unfolding; Dino’s a suspect
SCENE 33: EXT. PIZZA PARLOR PARKING LOT – 5PM
1. Action: Dino rides up, Leah’s waiting, ride off together.
2. Life Threatening situation: riding across town w/ him.
3. Mystery: there are 3 other men Cindy told Dino about.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing; Dino is now on their radar.
SCENE 34: EXT. CITY STREETS – EVENING
1. Action: Dino races across town; Leah follows.
2. Life Threatening situation: his driving.
3. Mystery: why so reckless.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 35: EXT. RACE TRACK ENTRANCE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino opens gate, goes onto the track.
2. Life Threatening situation: they are about to race.
3. Mystery: Why does he want to drag race,
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 36: SERIES OF SHOTS:
1. Action: Leah & Dino racing.
2. Life Threatening situation: racing their bikes
3. Mystery: why race, what’s it prove
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 37: EXT. RACE TRACK – LATER
1. Action: shows Dino winning every race.
2. Life Threatening situation: racing
3. Mystery: why he is so crazy reckless
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 38: EXT. HIGHWAY – DUSK
1. Action: Dino drives out to Mtn. cabin, Leah follows.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why did he bring her; what are his intentions
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 39: EXT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino parks, Leah parks; tells her they’re friends.
2. Life Threatening situation: alone w/ a murder suspect.
3. Mystery: why are they there.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 40: EXT. TRAIL – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino takes her up to the lake & water falls.
2. Life Threatening situation: ongoing
3. Mystery: Dino shows her the lake and water falls
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 41: EXT. LAKE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino points to falls, strips and swims off.
2. Life Threatening situation: awkward, he’s naked, might get hypothermia
3. Mystery: why go to the falls naked.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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ACT TWO page 22
SCENE 1: EXT. ROCK LEDGE – BASE OF THE FALLS – LATER
1. Action: Leah helps Dino out of lake water.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: see this rainbow Dino’s talking about
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 2: EXT. ROCK LEDGE – CONTINUOUS
1. Actions: Dino leads the way in behind the waterfall.
2. Life Threatening situation: Leah slips, almost falls
3. Mystery: this rainbow of Dino’s
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 3: INT. CAVE – LATER
1. Action: Dino & Leah talk re: life, goals, etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: she sees the ax
3. Mystery: this cave from his childhood
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 4: INT. POLICE STATION – INTERROGATION ROOM -DAY
1. Action: Steph lies to cop taking her statement re: Dino.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why is she here
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 5: INT. VIEWING BOOTH – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah watches Steph play the cop, gets pissed.
2. Life Threatening situation: she alibi’s Dino off
3. Mystery: How she knows Leah’s name.
4. Villain’s plan
SCENE 6: INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah enters, Steph warns her re: Dino and love.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: How Steph knows her name
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing.
SCENE 7: INT. POLICE CHIEF’S OFFICE – LATER
1. Action: Leah tells Chief, she has a suspect.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 8: INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA – NOON
1. Action: Bruce hits Steph, Dino floors him, leaves w/ her.
2. Life Threatening situation: fight could escalate to guns
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: NA
SCENE 9: EXT. PIZZA PARLOR PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON
1. Action: Leah & Dino argue re: Cindy, Leah’s lie, etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: did Dino know who she was from the start
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
=====================================================================
ACT THREE page 31
SCENE 1: INT. CHARGER – EARLIER IN THE DAY
1. Action: Dino treats Steph’s wound, needs stitches.
2. Life Threatening situation: subdural hematoma
3. Mystery: their bond, friendship but not amorous
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 2: INT. DIRTY BOURBON – LATER
1. Action: Leah introduces herself. Show’s Dino’s photo.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why Dino was there and with whom
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 3: INT. OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah & owner talk re: Dino and last Wednesday.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why Dino comes in
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 4: INT. BOWLING ALLEY – AFTERNOON
1. Action: Steph & Jerome talk re: Dino & her and life.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Dino handles life’s problems w/ sex.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 5: EXT/INT. THOMAS RESIDENCE – LATER
1. Action: Leah calls on Grace, Dino’s mom.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Mom’s relationship w/ Dino & Jim
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 6: INT. CUBBY-HOLE OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Jim watches them via hidden camera.
2. Life Threatening situation: Leah is in his sights
3. Mystery: How does Jim know Dino’s been w/ Cindy.
4. Villain’s plan: will keep feeding Leah clues
SCENE 7: INSERT – NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS
1. Action: Shows Dino’s Dad’s capture and imprisonment.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: who is he keeping them
4. Villain’s plan: to get Luke to hand over the plates.
SCENE 8: INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah tells Grace about Dino’s affair w/ Cindy
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: How did Jim know Dino was w/ Cindy.
4. Villain’s plan: feed Leah more clues re: Dino.
SCENE 9: INT. CUBBY-HOLE OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Jim watches, says something cryptic
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: ongoing
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 10: EXT. BAR – PARKING LOT – SAT. NIGHT (FEB 10TH)
1. Action: Leah rides up, asks Dino to go eat w/ him.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: their chemistry and attraction
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 11: EXT. ACROSS THE STREET – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: We see a dark sedan
2. Life Threatening situation: someone watching them
3. Mystery: Who are they watching: Dino or Leah
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 12: INT. SEDAN – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney w/ camera captures Leah & Dino together. 2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why she is getting so close to him
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 13: SERIES OF SHOTS:
1. Action: Dino’s erratic behavior & dangerous stunts.
2. Life Threatening situation: his driving
3. Mystery: Why he drives like that
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 14: EXT. DINO’S HOUSE – BACK PORCH – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino parks bike; Jim comes out, drunk, mad etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: Jim tries to hit Dino
3. Mystery: why drunk;
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
==================================================================
ACT FOUR page 43
SCENE 1: MONTAGE – LEAH & DINO OUT ON THE TOWN
1. Action: caring, gentle side of Dino is revealed.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: their chemistry
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 2: INT. SCHOOL – MORNING (MONDAY, FEBRUARY 12TH)
1. Action: Steph reads Dino riot act for being w/ Leah.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: her anger, then kissing him, conflicted
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 3: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
1. Action: Leah tells Rodney she has 3 suspects via Dino.
2. Life Threatening situation: her involvement w/ Dino
3. Mystery: Rodney can’t figure out why
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing, working
SCENE 4: FLASHBACK – CEMETERY – MORNING
1. Action: Leah spying on Dino, sees him cry at Cindy’s grave 2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: NA
BACK TO PRESENT.
SCENE 5: INT. POLICE STATION – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney gives Leah file on Dino re: a shooting.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino was shot
3. Mystery: why did the man accuse Dino; then recant
4. Villain’s plan: Ongoing
SCENE 6: EXT. FOOD TRUCK – NOON (TUES. FEB 13TH)
1. Action: Leah & Dino talk; she brings up Lorraine, he goes
2. Life Threatening situation: He is being framed for murder
3. Mystery: Why won’t he talk to her about Lorraine, leaves
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 7: INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
1. Action: upset, Leah calls Dino while lying in bed.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino is upset, volatile
3. Mystery: Lorraine and that situation
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 8: INTERCUT: LEAH IN BED; DINO STANDING WITH HIS BIKE
1. Action: talk re: suspects, video of Dino & Cindy…
2. Life Threatening situation:
3. Mystery: he flies a paper plane w/ Cindy’s photo in it
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
==================================================================
ACT FIVE page 51
SCENE 1: FLASHBACK – FONDUE RESTAURANT – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino tells Leah why he hates “goodbye”
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: he equates the word goodbye w/ death.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 2: EXT. MOUNTAIN MEADOW – VALENTINE’S DAY
1. Action: Leah spying on Dino; he’s asleep.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why is Dino there alone, sleeping
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 3: INT. CRV – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah has flower bouquet for him in car.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why Dino is there alone on his b-day.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 4: EXT. MEADOW – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah walks over, sets flowers by Dino & leaves
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: her feelings for him
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 5: INT/EXT. ROSEMONT HIGH SCHOOL – LATER
1. Action: Steph calls tell Dino cops coming, get to her car
2. Life Threatening situation: cops come to arrest Dino
3. Mystery: why, what has changed? New evidence.
4. Villain’s plan: he has gives them more clues against Dino.
SCENE 6: INT. CHARGER – MINUTE LATER
1. Action: Dino ducks down, Steph leaves, turns his cell off
2. Life Threatening situation
3. Mystery
4. Villain’s plan
SCENE 7: INT. STORAGE UNIT – TWO HOURS EARLIER
1. Action: Rodney & Leah enter: find photos, evidence.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why did Dino have this place
4. Villain’s plan: new clues tie murder to Dino
SCENE 8: INT. STORAGE UNIT – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney finds Dino’s knife; it’s his 3rd M.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino is now wanted
3. Mystery: how’d the knife get there & Cindy’s journal
4. Villain’s plan: ties murder around Dino’s neck.
SCENE 9: EXT/INT. ROSEMONT HIGH SCHOOL – NINETY MINUTES LATER
1. Action: Rodney leads raid and lock down of Dino’s school. 2. Life Threatening situation: Dino might have a gun.
3. Mystery: Where is Dino?
4. Villain’s plan: working out perfectly
SCENE 10: INT. SCHOOL CONCOURSE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: students video everything that happens.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino might be armed
3. Mystery: where did he go
4. Villain’s plan: working to a tee.
SCENE 11: INT. CHARGER – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Steph asks Dino who wanted Cindy dead
2. Life Threatening situation: he is now wanted for her murder
3. Mystery: who is behind it
4. Villain’s plan: he has upped his game
SCENE 12: INSERT TEXT
1. Action: Dino rips into Leah re: school raid, etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: he’s now wanted APB on him
3. Mystery: what changed, what new evidence came up
4. Villain’s plan: working perfectly.
BACK TO SCENE.
SCENE 13: INT. CHARGER – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Steph gets idea; it’s Jim; he’s a hater.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why does he hates on Dino
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
SCENE 14: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
1. Action: Leah gets Dino’s text; didn’t know school raid.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: what happened at the school, the raid, he escaped
4. Villain’s plan: working perfectly.
SCENE 15: INT. CAPTAIN’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah confronts Chief; he shows her photos.
2. Life Threatening situation: she could lose her job.
3. Mystery: how did she get so far off target.
4. Villain’s plan: working
SCENE 16: INT. CABIN – BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino & Steph start to make out.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Steph seduces Dino, why now
4. Villain’s plan: working
SCENE 17: INT. SCHOOL GYMNASIUM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney comes up w/ no Dino; pissed.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: where did he go, who tipped Dino off.
4. Villain’s plan: working
SCENE 18: INT. MASTER BATHROOM – DAY
1. Action: Jim puts his bottle of oxy in medicine cabinet.
2. Life Threatening situation: for the wife, Grace
3. Mystery: why is he doing this; to get rid of her?
4. Villain’s plan: is escalating,
SCENE 19: INSERT – LABEL
“Oxycodone, 20 mg. Take one tablet by mouth every six hrs…
SCENE 20: INT. DINO’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Jim goes in, takes one of his black teeshirts.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why one of his tee shirts
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing and evolving
SCENE 21: INT. CABIN – BEDROOM – DAY
1. Action: Dino and Steph making love.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why now, why wait until this moment
4. Villain’s plan: coming to a head
SCENE 22: INT. WOMEN’S BATHROOM – SAME
1. Action: Leah mad at herself, vows to catch killer.
2. Life Threatening situation: for Dino perhaps
3. Mystery: Cindy was framing Dino, so did she get betrayed
4. Villain’s plan: working
END OF PILOT PAGE 59
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Linda’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned doing this assignment is how quickly I can create an intriguing and life-threatening thriller using this approach.
Genovese-Napolitano, A Crime Thriller
Logline: The most feared prosecutor in Philadelphia is terrorized by a mafia don who will stop at nothing to bring his family back to prominence.
Opening: Leo, top prosecutor in Philadelphia, finds a threatening note at his seat in court.
· Life Threatening 1: His life is threatened, told to tell no one or there would be life-ending consequences.
Mystery 1: Who has the guts to terrorize the city’s top prosecutor?
· Red Herring 1: The defendant smirks.
· Life Threatening 2: Ignores the threat, throws the note away.
Inciting Incident: His family is under surveillance. “Code” cited for why they won’t go after his wife and daughter – but he has to live up to the loyalty code, if he makes a misstep that may be viewed as a broken contract.
· Life Threatening 3: His family is threatened.
· Mystery 2: What do they want Leo to do?
· Villain’s Plan 1: Vittorio returns from Italy, from visiting “family.” Says he got what he needed.
· Villain’s Plan 2: Mob hit and Antonio insinuates Leo is going to let him go.
· Red Herring 1: Where is Antonio’s confidence coming from when the Philadelphia mafia is on its knees?
· Life Threatening 4: Vittorio refuses to give in to the threats.
· Villain’s Plan 3: Leo gets a text message threat.
· Mystery 3: Leo is with Vittorio when he gets the message, will he tell him or anyone about the stalker?
· Villain Plan 4: Making a big career move.
· Mystery 4: What is the big move Leo is making in his life and career that he hints at but won’t reveal to Leo? (speaks in riddles, half thoughts)
· Mystery 5: Will his investigator find out anything about the number the message came from?
· Red Herring 2: Antonio is released.
Turning Point 1: The message is received when a bullet whizzes past him – a man is gunned down in a drive-by right next to Leo.
· Life threatening 5: He is almost shot to death, instead another man dies.
· Villain Plan 5: Appears to know nothing about the threats, but offers up advice that supports what the person making the threats wants.
· Villain Plan 6: Draws attention to the infighting at the top of the pyramid of the Philly mob.
· Mystery 6: Who would take over the mob if Antonio wiped out? Leo wonders if it would it be the end of the mob?
· Villain Plan 7: Gets Leo to confide in him about the stalker. Convinces him not to tell the police, he’ll help him handle it for the sake of his family’s lives.
· Life Threatening 6: Vittorio questions if Antonio is his stalker and convinces Leo to go after him.
· Villain Plan 8: Takes an action to show him he’s helping him solve the problem.
· Life Threatening 7: One of Antonio’s men told Leo is coming after him.
· Life Threatening 8: Antonio shows up at his daughter’s dance class.
· Life Threatening 9: His investigator / girlfriend is killed.
· Villain Plan 9: Convinces hero breaking the law is the right thing to do to save his children. Or, Leo refuses and then is set up.
· Life Threatening 9: In danger to protect his family.
Mid-Point: Leo commits a crime.
· Life Threatening 10: Text from Antonio to meet him.
· Mystery 7: Antonio didn’t send the text, who did?
· Life Threatening 11: Shoot out – Antonio and Leo escape.
· Villain Plan 10: Pictures show up on Leo’s desk about his crime, ordered to quit or they will be sent to the D.A.
· Life Threatening 12: Can no longer be a prosecutor or run for DA with crime he committed
· Villain Plan 11: Leaks info about impending mob hit.
· Villain Plan 12: Community calls 9-1-1 to report impending mob hit – current mob boss is armed and dangerous and going to shoot to kill.
TP 3:
· Villain Plan 13: Police kill current mob boss.
· Mystery 8: Who will take over the Philly mob?
· Villain Plan 14: Spreads info that Leo is to blame.
Climax:
· Villain Plan 15: Tells Leo they put a hit out on him, the only way to keep his family safe is to take out new rival and take over the family.
· Villain Plan 16: Sets up Leo for the hit on the next in line to run the family.
· Mystery 9: Who set up Leo?
· Life Threatening 10: Leo agrees to be his legal counsel / his consigliere.
Resolution:
· Villain Plan 17: His plan is to build back the Philadelphia and US mafia to higher prominence than it ever had is revealed.
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Leo’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned is that you need a little of each of the thriller elements in each part of the story structure.
Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure – Matt is a movie star with a life threatening disease.
Life Threatening 1 — Matt has a life-threatening medical condition
Life Threatening 2 — Matt passes out in public
Villain’s Plan 1 — Pretend to not know anything about Matt’s background.
Mini-Movie 2 – Locked into Conflict – Matt tries to locate his dad, Luke, but uncovers mysteries
Mystery 1: Where is Luke?
Life Threatening 3 — The floor of his old house has massive blood stain
Mini-Movie 3 – Hero Tries to Solve a Problem, but Fails – Matt looks for his dad, but fails and is attacked.
Mystery 2: Who is Hank?
Life Threatening 4 — Matt is being surveilled by a mysterious man
Life Threatening 5 — Someone shoots arrows at Matt’s car
Villain’s Plan 2 — Lie about his background and his injuries.
Villain’s Plan 3 — Create an incident that “makes him change his mind” and agree to help Matt.
Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan – Matt accepts help from his stunt double Bill and military consultant Hank.
Life Threatening 6 — Twitter threat – We know you’re looking for your dad. We’ll protect him, even if it means killing you.
Mystery 3: Why no police?
Villain’s Plan 4 — Convince Matt not to involve the police in trying to find his dad.
Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats and the Antagonist Prevails – Matt tries to learn about his father in a mountain town near Luke’s camp.
Life Threatening 7 — Matt’s father has allies in the mountain town near his cabin – they are reporting on him
Mystery 4: Why does Hank know so much?
Villain’s Plan 5 — Recruit people to infiltrate Luke’s survivalist group.
Villain’s Plan 6 — Kill the recruit and make it look like Luke did it.
Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan! – Matt gets close to Luke’s camp, but loses Bill, and ends up in a trap.
Villain’s Plan 7 — Try to get rid of Bill, so Matt is totally dependent on him.
Mystery 5: What happened to Bill?
Life Threatening 8 — There are people patrolling the woods
Life Threatening 9 — They encounter a bear
Life Threatening 10 — Matt is caught in a trap
Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis and Climax – Hank rescues Matt and gives him instructions on how to get to Luke.
Villain’s Plan 8 — Train Matt to overcome the obstacles Luke has set up to protect his hermit camp.
Life Threatening 11 — Matt thinks he has killed his father
Life Threatening 12 — Matt considers suicide
Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo – By finally committing an act of real heroism, Matt is able to rescue his Dad and defeat Hank.
Villain’s Plan 9 — Arrange the final meeting so he can first kill Matt in front of Luke, then kill Luke.
Life Threatening 13 — Matt must jump from one cliff to another
Life Threatening 14 — The antagonist has captured both Matt and his
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<div>What I’ve learned doing this assignment is to keep focus in every sequence to where your endpoint is. Just design steps to get to the next plot point. </div>
OPENING
A girl is raped.
LIVE THREATENING 1 – Will this man kill the girl?
MYSTERY 1 Who is this man? Is he an intruder?
MYSTERY 2 He leaves without saying a word.
MYSTERY 3 The girl doesn’t scream or talk.
LIVE THREATENING 2 – Will stepdad do what he has told her he’s do when she talks? Kill her?
MYSTERY 1 Will she talk to her mother?
MYSTERY 2 Will she tell her schoolteacher?
MYSTERY 3 Will she tell her friend,
Breakfast. We meet Lilly’s mother. Theatrical person. Totally absorbed by new husband. Is Lilly gonna talk? Stepdad looks at her threatening.
1. School. Talk with mentor about performance Lilly at school. She’s 17. Does she want to quit?
2. Stepdad mayor of Miami. VIP.
3. Lily flees the house by climbing out of the window. She’s followed by stepdad. Stepdad catches her and she tells him she’s pregnant. He takes her to gynecologist office. How does she know the child is his. There is no other way, Lily tells him. He was the only one.
LIFE THREATENING 3
Stepdad follows her. Catches her. What is he going to do? Is he going to make her disappear, like he said he would?
INCITING INCIDENT
Introduced to gynecologist. Gynecologist knows stepdad. Old boys’ network. Talks with both Lilly and stepdad in private about the abortion. Who’s the father? Stepdad lies about promiscuity Lilly.
MYSTERIE 1
Who is the gynecologist. Is he to be trusted?MYSTERIE 2
Is the gynecologist telling the truth about Lilly’s pregnancy?
MYSTERY 3
Will Lilly tell the gyn. Her stepdad is the father?
MYSTERY 4
Who are the 2 wise guys talking to gynecologist?Life threatening 4
Wise guys threaten gynecologist. He’s got to make a move on.
MYSTERY 1
Why does the Gynecologist says everything is going to be alright. ‘ Let’s say: I got lucky today?.’
Life threatening 5
Stepdad threatens her again.
MYSTERY 1
What has the gynecologist said to make stepdad back off?
4. Scene with stepdad and Lilly. Here’s what we’re going to do…Abortion. Make your life into a living hell if this comes out. Your mother will not survive this.
5. Gynecologist examines Lily. She’s too far gone. Abortion is not possible. Tells stepdad, he’ll see to it that she’s in good hands. He calls the billionaire couple. Good news. They are going to be parents at last. They send a car.
PLOTPOINT 1 Gynecologist takes Lilly to billionaire couple. He delivers young girls. Stray cats he calls them. He also works at the shelter for runaway trains.
· Billionaire couple nice. There are more girls there. Lilly wants to call home. They won’t let her. Number one rule: no phones in the house. Introduction RED HERRING HOUSEKEEPERS?
6. Gyn. tells the couple the baby is for them. He has a deal with them brings in fresh blood. Stray cats as he calls them. A stake out by female detective. She’s with a reluctant partner. They see the gyn. Coming out opf the house. He’s on the phone.
MYSTERIE 1
What is happening in this house behind closed doors and what has the gynecologist has got to do with it?
MYSTERY 2
Who is the young girl who’s always on their side?
MYSTERY 3 Gyn. Cryptic language to wise guys. I’ve got something special for you. As requested. Then we’re even.
Mystery 4 Will the schoolteacher and her detective wife find out where Lilly is?
Life threatening 6
The housekeepers catch them red handed in the control room.
7. There is a party going on, but Lily is not invited in. Housekeepers take over. At the party lots of young girls and old important men.
8. Schoolteacher visits mother and stepdad. Expresses her worries.
9. The mysterious girl befriends Lilly in secret. Tells Lilly about the control room. They are caught red handed by housekeepers.
10. PINCH 1
MYSTERY 1 Why are the criminals interested in Lilly and her pregnancy?
MYSTERY 2 WHAT’S IN THE CONTROL ROOM.
MYSTERY 3 Where have they taken the girl?
MYSTERY 4 Is the gynecologist just as bad as the couple?
Lilly investigates and finds sex videos on computer. Taped also girls in the bathroom. Surveillance / watched – cameras in the house. Control room
11. She asks gynecologist for help. She wants out.
12. Talking about the danger – friendship with another victim. She tells Lilly that the couple is bad news and that she must flee the island. She doesn’t know much about the gynecologist. He has been at parties, but she never saw him leave with a girl. But she’s not sure.
13. Mother presses stepdad. She wants to know where Lily is. Stepdad tells her he doesn’t know either. It’s best for her to leave Lily in peace for now. She doesn’t want to see them. She’s in good hands.
14. Life threatening 7
15. Lilly is taken away by armed men after being interrogated by the couple. The housekeepers tell her off. The couple has been so generous she must be grateful. That awful girl has been coming here for years and has gotten a professional training and she is so ungrateful. They bring Lilly to the billionaire couple. They interrogate Lilly. How much does she know? Suddenly, they are not the soft-spoken nice people anymore.
LIFE THREATENING 8 Is Lilly going to be the next victim?
16. Lilly wants to find her friend and finds out she is dead. Sees it on the news: body of missing girl found. (Different State)
17. Lilly tells the gyn. the billionaire she has found out that the couple are abusing young girls. She wants out. He promises her to come and get her. Follow his lead and everything will be alright. Lily tells the gynecologist that she wants to escape; he says he will help her. He promises her to smuggle her from the island.
18. Gynecologist tells criminals: She wants out. A cryptic conversation between criminals and gynecologist. It’s clear he’s afraid of them and that they are after the baby. They tell him to follow their plan.
19. Stepdad comes over to ask about Lilly. The criminals threaten him. Gynecologist tells stepdad to leave her alone and not to report her missing. He blackmails him: don’t report her missing otherwise I’ll go to the police tell them you sexually abused your stepdaughter.
20. Gynecologist comes over and tells the couple that he wants to take Lilly with him. They fight over the baby. He acts like he’s protecting Lilly.
21. MP The detective comes to her rescue
Mystery 1 Are the criminals really police officers?
Mystery Pedophile criminals pose as police officers and tell them they are there on behalf of Lilly’s family. They are taking Lily with them. They tell Lilly they are police. Lilly still thinks she’s safe with gynecologist. Detective watches them leave and follows them.22. PINCH II Scene with detective, boss and billionaire, who has supported the police force with communication system. We don’t want them to be crossed. Maybe she should take a break. But when the billionaire is gone, he says he can’t do anything about her investigating while on a break. I think a lot of people will help you get this MF behind bars.
23. She stays at gyn. house, finds out about the pedophile network and his trade with girl trafficking. Overhears conversation about her being useless after the baby is born. She tries to flee with dinky and almost drowns.
24. Detective follows them but when they spot her a shoot-out follows.
25. Boating accident. Lilly wakes up in cellar of gynecologist. Female detective wakes up in hospital.
26. Detective confronts stepdad and mother. Must report their child missing. Stepdad influential can have her fired. She talks with the mother and tells her off. What kind of mother is she?
27. Detective doesn’t know what to do anymore when mother shows up and reports her daughter missing.
28. PLOTPOINT 2 Lilly escapes. Chased by gynecologist and criminals. She manages to stop a police car. They recognize her from Amber alert. Take her to the station but are shot at by masked men. They capture Lilly.
29. MYSTERY 15
Will the detective find Lilly in the cellar?30. LIFE THREATENING The criminals will kill her now that they know she had a miscarriage.
31. Detective is at house gynecologist. She’s off the case. She breaks in. Searches the house and finds videos on computer involving babies. She vomits.
32. Criminals and gynecologist come in. She hides. Realizes this is a disturbed pedophile network. Gynecologist blackmailed them, but they turned it around and demand the baby. They are powerful people and capable to have him disappear. They will kill the girl when it’s all over.
CLIMAX Gynecologist wants to examine Lilly. She struggles. They find out she had a miscarriage.
33. Detective wants to arrest them. Shots are fired. Lilly knows there is a gun ( she snooped around before and found a gun ) Detective down but still pointing her gun at criminal. When he wants to shoot the detective, Lilly manages to get the gun and shoot criminal. Detective gets the other one. Gynecologist tries to help the criminal, but Detective cuffs him.
RESOLUTION
34. Lilly in hospital, billionaire couple taken to prison. Criminals dead. Mother in hospital with girl and detective. The girl doesn’t want to go back home. She must.
35. At home Mother is hospitalized. She’s all alone with him. School teacher is detectives’ spouse. Lilly calls her. She sounds scared but doesn’t tell what’s going on. Detective suspicious.
36. At home stepdad wants to continue the sexual abuse. Lilly fights him this time. She manages to redial the detective’s number unseen.
37. The detective overhears what Lilly says to him. She tells him she’s going to blow the whistle on him. He tries to strangle her.
38. Detective drives through town like a mad woman. Arrives at the house. Tries to get in.
39. Lilly manages to grab a heavy candle holder. She hits him on the head several times.
40. The detective comes in. He’s down already and Lilly hits him several times with the candleholder. The detective stops Lilly. Don’t kill him. When he tries to grab the candle holder the detective shoots him.
41. THE END
Police cars ambulances schoolteacher and detective are taking care of Lilly.
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