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Day 8 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
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12 Replies
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Armand Misleads/Reveals
What I learned…
A mislead guides the audience into believing one thing and a reveal exposes the truth.
HOW MISLEADS ARE CREATED:
Knowing the reveal you want the audience to experience, you search for ways to cover it. Either by going opposite or by using a form of misdirection or by simply not providing certain pieces of information.
THE STRATEGY
1. Make a list of the things you want to reveal in the scene.
2. Brainstorm possible misleads that causes the audience to think something different is happening. That way, they’ll be surprised or relieved when they discover the truth.
3. Make an outline of the scene, listing misleads and reveals.
4. Write a rough draft of the scene using misleads and reveals.
5. Rewrite the scene, changing or eliminating anything that doesn’t work.
ASSIGNMENT:
Name: TYLER, THE GHOST
Traits: Arrogant, Sarcastic, Immature
Subtext: Scared, in Denial
Character Logline: Tyler is the ghost of an entitled college jerk who was murdered 20 years ago by a masked serial killer, and now has to overcome his hidden guilt and fears to save a new group of college kids from suffering the same grisly faith as him.
CHARLES, THE MASKED KILLER WHO WAS NEVER CAUGHT
Traits: Nerdy, Rational
Subtext: Concealing, Nice Exterior
Character Logline: Charles is Tyler’s nice and nerdy half-brother who wants to fulfill his secret urge to murder people and getting away with it, but has to face off with the ghost of his brother and the final girl he’s always loved.
SCENE REVEAL: Charles is the killer.
Mislead: Dallas (college girl) disappears and re-appears later.
Mislead: Dallas acts suspicious after her sister Lex is killed.
Mislead: Is Dallas the killer?
Mislead: Dallas is working with the killer.
INT. MANOR – NIGHT
Tyler and Maddie enter.
MADDIE
Ready to finish this?
TYLER
It’s time to move on.
Dallas enters. She stands still in front of them.
MADDIE
You?
The masked killer walks in, standing shoulder to shoulder with Dallas.
MADDIE
What is this?
KILLER (MASKED)
An upgrade.
The killer removes his mask. It’s CHARLES.
CHARLES
You know I always liked the newest model.
Charles looks at Dallas, she wraps herself around his arm. Tyler and Maddie exchange confused looks.
CHARLES
I couldn’t understand it at first. A ghost. It does make sense we share a special link—
TYLER
I’ll fucking kill you!
CHARLES
SHUT UP! Stop interrupting me. Always undermining me. I’m in control now.
MADDIE
Why?
CHARLES
I had urges. I’ve been patient with myself. I was patient with you. I loved you, Maddie. But I’m moving on.
DALLAS
This is for Lex!
Dallas charges at Charles with a dinner knife, but he dodges the attack and is stabbed through the hand. He punches Dallas to the floor.
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Budinscak Misleads/Reveals
Day 8
What I learned doing this assignment:
o These are the types of movies I enjoy the most, and I immediately think of “The Usual Suspects”.
o If it engages the reader, I’ll do it.
o These are the parts of movies you’ll always remember.
1. Characters
Jack – slick/street smart, selfish, condescending, generous
Subtext – Conniving
Logline – Jack isn’t a role model, nor does he want to be, but … when presented with a captive audience – his nephews, Puck & Sal – he will present whatever version facts as he sees fit.
LC – Lincoln Clogs – intimidating, a planner, sarcastic, leader
Subtext – Tricky
Logline – LC will always do the right thing, especially in the pursuit of shady purposes.
Setup:
Our movie’s based in 1986 and we’re in the very beginning of Act II, Jack’s woken up in his Cadillac in Terre Haute, IN; and he’s just determined he has his two nephews – Puck and Sal – with him. He’s discussing his options for his nephews with his buddy, LC.
EXT. PICNIC GROUNDS – DAY
LC leads Jack in the direction of a plain looking building with a large number of lines bundled together leading into the building.
JACK
What do you think, the bus station?
LC
No, you can’t do that.
JACK
Will you take them?
LC
N F W. Let’s come back to that later.
JACK
You’re right. Maybe I’ll take them with me. What do you think? A father and his two kids? Great cover.
LC
I think you’re crazy. Let’s talk business.
Off to the side, a MAN rests a briefcase on his lap as he speaks into a large, ancient version of a mobile phone.
LC
There’s our death knell, the mobile phone.
JACK
Who, that guy? He’s paying good money so he can be accosted anytime.
LC
You mean contacted, not accosted, right?
JACK
Same thing.
They approach a generic building in the middle of the picnic grounds. Generic other than the excessive number of lines running into the building.
LC
Good call about the phone company.
JACK
I told you. Can’t do sex lines any longer.
LC opens the door and they walk inside –
INT. OFFICE – DAY
To a modern call center. There are numerous WOMEN and MEN on the phones talking.
LC
Jack, welcome to P Z N. – the Psychic Zealots Network. Our motto, we’re pizzin’ off the competition, the FCC and everybody else.
Jack looks around in amazement. It’s a busy place.
LC
People! We have our CEO here, Jack DiLuna. Jack, meet our company!
Everyone stands and claps, a few let out cheers. Jack, red faced embarrassed, bows to everyone. A smiling Jack turns to a serious-faced LC.
LC
I know how you got the seed money.
JACK
And so does our donor.
LC
What did the Don say?
JACK
A lot with very little. He talked about the difference one letter can make. Eye opening to say the least.
CANDY, late 20’s, pretty, a shark in a dress, approaches the two men.
LC
Jack, meet our Office Manager, Candy. Candy, Jack.
CANDY
It’s nice to meet the brains of the operation.
Jack look around the room.
JACK
Brains? Did someone else walk in?
CANDY
LC told us how you predicted problems with phone sex lines, but calls about astrology? $5.95 the first 2 minutes and $.95 a minute afterward. Genius.
JACK
How many shifts?
CANDY
Twenty-four seven, six days a week. We do observe the Sabbath every Sunday.
JACK
Of course. Where do you get your readings?
CANDY
Newspapers, wire services, wherever. Sometimes we just make the shit up.
They all laugh.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by John Budinscak.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
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Rob Bertrand’s Misleads/Reveals
What I learned: I learned that misleads and reveals are seriously fun to write!
Annie Andrews – Protagonist
Basic character traits: Sarcastic, quick tempered, fragile teenager who aches for acceptance.
Subtext: Hiding Something. (She’s gay.)Jessica Andrews – Side Character
Basic character traits: Shy, Nervous, Crafty, and inherited her sister’s gift of sarcasm.
Subtext: Afraid to say.INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Annie is fast asleep on the couch, as the finale of an 80’s slasher movie plays in the background. A clock reads 1:17am.
From the kitchen, a deep and unnatural voice echoes throughout the house.
VOICE (O.S.)
Aaaaaannie!Annie bolts upright, eyes wide open. Panic on her face as she stands and looks around.
ANNIE
Hell….hello? Who’s there?VOICE (O.S.)
I’m going to guuuut you!A masked figure, dressed in black bursts forth, from the darkened kitchen.
Annie screams and bolts upstairs.
BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS
Annie shuts the door and jumps into the bathtub, drawing the curtain. She holds her hands over her mouth to muffle her breathing.
The bathroom door knob turns slowly. Annie holds her breath as the door CREAKS open.
ANNIE’S POV
A dark silhouette approaches, reaching out for the shower curtain.
BACK TO SCENE
Annie’s eyes widen with terror.
MASKED FIGURE POV
A gloved hand rips the shower curtain open, as Annie SCREAMS bloody murder as the gloved hand brings down a knife like object, over and over. Annie’s screams turn to laughter as she collapses into the tub.
ANNIE
You got me. I’m dead! I’m dead!BACK TO SCENE
The gloved hand flips on the bathroom light and pulls a mask off to reveal Jessica decked out in a serial killer Halloween costume. In her hand is a retractable knife. Jessica’s smile is ear to ear. She’s having a blast.
JESSICA
I wanna be the killer again!Annie groans.
ANNIE
It’s late kiddo and we got school tomorrow.Now Jessica groans.
JESSICA
Ah, man!ANNIE
C’mon…I’ll tuck you in.CUT TO:
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For a change, I decided to make Jake expect a conventional, quiet funeral and be surprised happily by a history party. But at the end, I planted a future seed in his son Anahu who is researching the unsolved crimes in upstate New York. I need more traditional misleads and reveals but didn’t structure things this way originally so it is difficult. I will take small steps.
INT. LA ROCHE BEDROOM – NIGHT
Jake and Nikos as massaging Jean La Roche.
JEAN
I am going to a better place.
He gently shuts his eyes. Jake notes a muted death rattle.
JAKE
We can’t intervene. Dad is right–let him go.NIKOS
No. I will do the CPR.JAKE
Forget it. He has a DNR.
NIKOS
But his brain is still good.
JAKE
He has lived long enough in his paralyzed body. I don’t know why you care. You gave up his body years ago.
NIKOS
Okay, so be it. I’ll see you at the grave.As he leaves, Joan wanders in, kisses her husband, and tucks him in, not realizing he is dead.
JAKE
Mom has the right idea. He is at peace.NIKOS
She doesn’t even know what dead means.EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
JAKE to camera
Hope the funeral is as peaceful as his death.
But as he approaches, there is a huge party going on with the townsfolk dressed as settlers, indigenous people, and African slaves morphed into kings and queens. MUSIC is playing and people are dancing.
JAKE
What a surprise! What a way to celebrate Dad’s legacy as a history professor.Kisele and Delphine organized it and they are dressed hybrid with moccasins, African crowns, shirt, tie, a hodgepodge of clothes from everywhere.
KISELE
We are all humans.DELPHINE
We won’t bash statues, burn books, or badmouth our ancestors but going forward, everyone is equal.JAKE
Your generation rocks! I know Dad was a colonialist but I think he would love this.When the party ends Jake and Anahu walk alone amidst the graves.
ANAHU
History should be studied and respected but it isn’t a party. There are too many unsolved crimes in upstate New York. My high school project is to solve them. Horrible murders and rapes were committed in these woods and erased.JAKE
Go for it, son. Your grandad would be proud of you but be careful because the ghosts might still be here. -
[PS 80 proseries]
Misleads and reveals and GOLLOB CREATES A FUTURE.
What I learned from this assignment is that I am on the right track! Just do it!
CHARACTERS
1, ROSARIO Moreno, 45-50, FANNY’s Mother – ANTAGONIST
Traits:
Crafty
Power-mad, VAIN
Fetishist (S&M)
Subtext:
MANIPULATIVE MURDERER
Character Logline:
Rosario will stop at nothing to hang on to power; she FEIGNS ignorance of her husband’s activities, PUSHES her daughter into a SHAM beauty contest so as to MURDER top contestants also raped by her husband, and FORCES Frito to get involved in order to “protect” her daughter, who she also finally ends up attempting to kill.
2. FANNY Moreno 22 (Rosario’s daughter) – MAIN PROTAGONIST
Traits: She is ashamed of her size, body shape, weight
She lets her Mother run her life
She is afraid to show her true feelings
She is a Loner, feels despised by everyone around her
SUBTEXT: VENGEFUL, DECEPTIVE
Character Logline: Fanny, step-daughter of a ruthless Dictator, FEIGNS belief in her mother’s lies and cover-ups of his sexual abuse of her and others until she can get VENGEANCE on her mother for her complicity and the step-father for his rapes, by exposing them to the world.
3. MASKED MAN – PRESIDENT FOR LIFE AND DICTATOR, GENERAL “NILO” ORIEGA
Traits: Deceitful, Treacherous, murderer, sexual abuser, submissive in S&M fetishes
SUBTEXT
Submissive to ROSARIO.
Character LOGLINE TBD
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OPENING SCENE, ACT 1 Sc 1
EXT. swimming pool LUXURY HOTEL – NIGHT
Deafening SOUND OF CRICKETS, amid CABANAS and PALM TREES: a TROPICAL “PARADISE.”
ROSARIO (WOMAN, late 40,s, elegant and dripping with gold jewelry) reclines on a lounge chair, by the pool, long black hair spilling down the back. We do not see her face. She is watching the NEWS on an IPHONE. It is late at night, she is alone, nobody else by the pool with her,
NEWSCASTER
(woman or man 30’s) in SPANISH with subtitles)
‘The world is breathless with expectation. Who’s going to be the next MISS NICARAGUA? The national pageant begins tomorrow…”
She puts the phone down on a SIDE TABLE, next to a black leather WHIP, , nail polish and a file, and a condom. She begins filing her nails, watching the Iphone peripherally.
NEWSCASTER
“The favourites are: Adriana and Milagro Celentano, sisters from Jinotepe.”
THEIR FACES appear BRIEFLY, on the IPHONE ON THE TABLE)
Newscaster
“Also competing is FANNY MORENO, a long-shot, step-daughter of President for Life, General “Nilo” ORNIEGA, and daughter of VP ROSARIO MORENO, “The Voice of the Revolution.””
HEAD SHOT of Rosario appears on I-Phone screen. She appears haggard and old, short-cropped hair – not as she will look when we see her face eventually.
Rosario, with a gesture of disgust, shuts off the newscast on her Iphone, and CRICKETS resume.
All else is silent.
Suddenly a MAN with a hoodie hiding his masked face comes out of a hotel door, nods to her, a gesture she ignores, and pulls himself up onto a balcony overlooking the pool. He enters the patio doors into the hotel room, silently.
Rosario does not react to this, or to SOUNDS OF MALE GRUNTING and PANTING heard from the room. She files her nails, calmly.
After a moment, the man GRUNTS loudly to signify orgasm. Rosario picks up the nail polish, begins painting her nails.
The hooded man climbs down the balcony, approaches Rosario, the woman in the lounge-chair. He removes his hoodie to show a RONALD REAGAN MASK.
ROSARIO
Did she see you?
MAN grunting, shakes head.
ROSARIO
You forgot this!
She throws the condom at him. He GRUNTS again.
ROSARIO
Bend over and pull down your pants…
He does as commanded, and she picks up the whip and lashes his bare buttocks until they bleed. He GRUNTS – with pleasure or pain we don’t know.
ROSARIO
Now go!
He runs back into hotel, just as a YOUNG WOMAN’S SCREAM is heard from the balcony room he had just exited.
Young Woman’s voice (OFF)
Mamma ! Mamma!
Rosario
(calling out) )
What, dear?
FANNY, young woman early 20s, pretty, but just a little too fat to wear a bikini comfortably, rushes onto the balcony in her light, cotton nightdress, holding a kleenex in one hand.
Fanny
(very upset)
It’s happening again!
Rosario
What, dear, those nightmares? You know it’s all in your head, dear.
Fanny
No Mamma! It’s not in my head.
She leans over the balcony railing, weeping, and thrusts the kleenex forward.
Fanny
It’s in my vagina!
Rosario
Probably just a discharge – from something you picked up, on a dirty toilet seat… We’ll ask Doctor Marco tomorrow, OK? In the morning, before the pageant…
Rosario finishes painting her nails, sighs with annoyance, puts the paint bottle down, gets up and walks calmly into the hotel. She wears a beach wrap over her swimsuit, and high heels.
INT. LUX HOTEL, FANNY’S ROOM – continuous
Fanny lies face down, on bed, sobbing. Beside her, on a bedside TABLE, a heap of DIRTY TISSUES…
Rosario enters the room, switches on the lights. We see her face for the first time. Tall, clearly once beautiful, with face-lifted face and cosmetic enhancements to lips, cheeks, heavily made-up… all making her look a little freakish, with just a little resemblance to the haggard woman whose head-shot was shown on TV. She wears a beach wrap over a revealing one-piece swimsuit.
She sits on the bed beside Fanny, attempts to console her…
Rosario
There, there… you’re a shy girl and tomorrow’s a big day, the stress of it probably triggered the nightmare. Do you want a pill?
Sighing again, Rosario stands up, slips on a LATEX GLOVE, gathers up the kleenexes. Fanny has stopped sobbing but still lies face-down, watching her mother with one eye.
RoSARIO
I just did my nails… Not going to ruin them now with soap and water.
She takes the kleenexes into the bathroom, flushes them away, then studies herself for a moment in the mirror, smiles as if for the cameras. She takes a bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet, takes one out and brings it to her daughter with a glass of water. Fanny has sat up in bed, watching her every move.
FANNY
I’m scared something will happen… those demonstrators, they don’t like us. And the other girls all hate me.
ROSARIO
Don’t worry, dear. Everything is under control.
FANNY
Yes, the army. And the secret service. Cubans. Still, I’d feel better if there was someone protecting me.
Fanny takes the pill, appears to put it in her mouth, drinks the glass of water.
FannY
(looking at her)
Mom: why don’t you call in Frito?
RoSARIO
OK, i’ll see if he’s available. He hasn’t worked for us in years.
FaNNY
Yes, but I trust him. He’s loyal.
ROSARIO
Ok, but sleep now. Ok?
She gets up and leaves, turning the lights off.
A warm tropical breeze blows thru the open patio doors, making the gauze curtains sway.
Fanny turns on a bedside lamp and gets up. She is holding the sleeping pill in one hand, and the kleenex she has been hiding under the covers, in the other. She puts the kleenex and the pill in a purse lying on the couch.
Then she angrily slams the patio doors and locks them shut. She double-locks the bedroom door, turns out the light and gets back into bed.
END OF SCENE
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Janeen’s Misleads/Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is that even a scene with a woman talking to her dog can have misleads and reveals in it.
1. Morgan Day
Basic Character Traits:
Insecure; Curious/Eager to learn; Perfectionist — can’t leave well enough alone; and Bold under pressure <div>
Subtext Character Traits: Intimidated, Crafty
Logline: Morgan is a wealthy fashionista who wants to help other women to prove to herself that she is not just a trophy wife.
Possible areas of subtext: Pretends to believe she is inferior to her husband. Collects friends who help intimidated women while not realizing she is intimidated. Pretends altruism while her work is a form of revenge against her husband.
Misleads
Morgan has not put any stamp of her own personality in her husband’s house. She is a trophy wife in every respect, merely arm candy and companionship for her husband who we haven’t met yet. Morgan seems oblivious to it all. </div>
Morgan makes a list and is determined to help Amber after what Bridget told her at the shelter. She remembers the list of things Bridget told her Amber would need even though she didn’t really know what they all entailed, so she’s not stupid, just naive.
<div>
Reveals
Morgan is still more worried about her gala dress than she is about Amber. </div><div>
Morgan is silly and shallow as evidenced by the dog names and her “support” choice of simply giving Amber a book.
SCENE
INT. MORGAN’S HOME – DAY
MORGAN enters her husband’s study where she keeps a desk in a corner by a window in the otherwise dark, stately man cave of a room. MORGAN wears light, bright colors and carries her little dog, EVERY.
MORGAN
Now, Every, we told Bridget that we would do something to help Amber. What should we do?
Morgan sets the little dog down and steps to her desk, a small antique secretary with a carefully curated collection of antique writing paraphernalia displayed across the desktop. Carefully taking a seat, she pulls a pad of paper and pen from a drawer.
Every runs into his dog bed a few feet from the desk and lays down.
MORGAN
What can I actually do, Every?
She writes a title on the page: What Amber Needs
Draws a column line down the page next to it and then writes: What I can do
She quickly fills in the left hand column with: Resources, Confidence, Connections, Child Care.
Talking to Every
MORGAN
I have no idea what resources means.
She puts an X in the “What I can do” column next to that one.
MORGAN
Confidence. I can definitely help with that.
She puts a check mark next to that one.
MORGAN
Connections – for what? All I know are writers and designers.
An X goes next to that one.
MORGAN
Child Care. Definitely not that one. Gavin hates kids and, to tell you the truth, Every. I prefer you to kids.
Morgan tosses the pen onto the pad and gets up to pace the room, looking like a lone candle in an otherwise dark room.
MORGAN
Confidence. Confidence. She used to be a seamstress, but now she’s just a mom. No confidence in either of those. Her skills are probably out of date and she’ll have those kids keeping her from making deadlines or working the kind of long hours designers need. There must be something I can compliment her on that would boost her confidence.
She stops to pick up Every and look him in the eye.
MORGAN
What do I do to have more confidence.
She pauses and stares into the little dog’s eyes.
MORGAN
Of course! Waterman! Why didn’t I think of that. I’ll give her my copy and pick up another one tomorrow before class.
She dashes from the room, stopping at the doorway to call back to Every.
MORGAN
Tell Daddy I have a fitting and then guild. Be good!
Every trots after her.
INT. MORGAN’S HOME – BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
MORGAN rushes through the opulent, masculine bedroom to a walk in closet that is light, bright and filled with her fashions and feminine paraphernalia. Every follows her.
MORGAN
I’ll give her my book. If Bridget says she needs confidence to leave Daniel, this will give it to her. I know it’s helping me.
She pulls a book from a small stash sedately standing between bookends. The book reads “The Waterman Method”. She slips it into her tote, grabs her purse and keys from a glass tray and exits, smiling and self-satisfied.
She pats Every on the head, picking him up to give him a quick kiss on the top of his head.
MORGAN
It’s good to help people. With a little more confidence, she’ll be fine and I’ll still get my dress for the gala!
She gives the little dog one more kiss and sets him back on the floor. He looks up forlornly at her.
MORGAN
Be good, Every Day! See you later!
Morgan rushes through the bedroom and turns to look back at the little dog. Every sits, then lays right where she set him.
MORGAN
I’m sorry, little guy. You look so bored and lonely. I’m working on getting you a girlfriend. She’ll be Special.
She giggles, goes back and pets Every again.
MORGAN
I’ll have Every Day and Special dogs. Perfect for my lifestyle.
She pats him on the head one more time and rushes from the room.
</div>
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PS 80 Michelle Damis Misleads/Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is that it got me to a great breakthrough. I was already planning on using a minor character that I had previously planned a small twist for, but now I’m actually going to make it a bigger mislead/reveal twist.
The first scene is when Nina goes to the church to get your typical (everybody knows) Vampire fighting tools. Holy Water, Crosses etc… She was originally met by a Nun that helps her and teaches her some things about vampires. I was going to have the nun be surprisingly sympathetic. In the end the nun (and other nuns) are fighting on the group of vampires that was after Marin and Nina etc…
Now I will be changing the Nun to a Vampire herself, but that will not be revealed until near the end. She has turned to the church for hiding and to help others (with her immortal soul etc…she has all the time, wisdom and means to helps others) In the end she will save Nina and Marin before Ted and Jim can and will reveal she is also a Vampire, she will help them all escape and fight the elders. She believes she CAN make the world a better place etc… I think I can also weave her in a few places and in the end reveal that she was impactful thru out. But I may decide to not do that.
I’m not ready to write that scene. While I love all the outline planning that jumps around I really feel like I need to write more linearly as I am starting out. I am making lots of notes in my outline that will remind and assist me when I start putting it all into Final Draft.
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Jodi’s Misleads/Reveals – Day 8
I found a few scenes in my outline where I have misleads with the reveals further in the story. But, to follow the instructions for this particular assignment I created a scene using a couple misleads and a couple reveals encapsulated in the one scene itself. The Father’s reveals are more emotional reveals and are not as obvious as Veronica’s reveal.
These are all supporting characters:
VERONICA BERNAL, Bright, career oriented, eager – Subtext: Adventurous
VICTORIA BERNAL, Supportive, realistic – Subtext: Usually discreet
MICHAEL BERNAL, Old world, Dreamer – Subtext: Scheming
INT. BOWLING ALLEY – NIGHT
It’s the Thursday night family night bowling special. Veronica and her Parents MICHAEL and VICTORIA BERNAL are mid game. Veronica is taking score, sitting in the chair . Michael approaches the foul line.
VERONICA
Mom, Dad I have something I need to tell you.
Michael releases his ball down the lane which heads towards the pins. His strike makes a crashing sound.
VERONICA
Good one, Dad
MICHAEL
Thanks Mija.
VERONICA
Mom, Dad, can we stop bowling for a minute please?
VICTORIA
What’s up sweetie?
VERONICA
I have something important to say, and I don’t want you to over react.
MICHAEL
Spit it out, my next strike is waiting.
VERONICA
(beat)
I’m pregnant.
Both Parents sit simultaneously.
VICTORIA
Oh my God.
MICHAEL
God had nothing to do with this.
VERONICA
(sarcastically)
Thanks, Dad.
(beat)
You’re my rocks and I need your support with this.
Pins are crashing all around them. They looked stunned and concerned.
VICTORIA
I don’t know what you want us to do, you’re too young. This can ruin your life.
(beat)
What happened to your birth control?
VERONICA
I ran out Mommy, he told me he was sterile.
MICHAEL
You believed that shit? That line’s as old as the sun.
VICTORIA
You’ve always been too trusting. How long have you known this guy?
Veronica waves her question off while approaching the ball rack.
VERONICA
It doesn’t matter, he has nothing to do with this.
MICHAEL
The hell he doesn’t.
Veronica is angry and shoots her ball very aggressively down the lane.
MICHAEL
You can meet a nice man to raise it.
The pins crash.
VERONICA
That’s ridiculous. I want to go to college and have a career.
MICHAEL
(shouting)
You should have thought about that before you spread your legs.
The bowlers next to their lane hear this comment and look at him with daggers.
VICTORIA
I seem to remember it takes a man and a woman for that dance Michael, so maybe he shouldn’t have unzipped his pants, you think!
The pins from the next lane crash loudly. A young girl and guy from the group in the next lane look at Victoria, smile and nod in agreement. The young girl comments.
YOUNG GIRL
Right on.
With that Victoria approaches the lane and throws her ball haphazardly, it goes into the gutter.
MICHAEL
Well, what’s your alternative Mija? Adoption? Abortion? No way to both!
Michael approaches the red line and throws his ball down the lane. He stands and watches it for a second, another strike, the pins crash. He approaches the bench emotionless.
VERONICA
Dad, I’ve thought about it very carefully and I’m going to get an abortion. It’s the fairest thing to do.
MICHAEL
No, you’re not. No way!
VERONICA
Dad, it’s not your body, it’s mine. You can’t tell me what to do with my body.
MICHAEL
You do, and I’m done with you. Your Mom and I are done with you.
The crashing of the pins are very loud. Victoria shakes her head in disgust of what she is hearing. Veronica starts crying as she grabs the ball and approaches the red line. She throws the ball, turning around quickly she goes back to the chair.
VERONICA
(sullenly)
Okay Dad. You win.
MICHAEL
Good, now you’re thinking. You’ll see, it won’t be so hard. There are plenty of programs that can help raise a kid.
VERONICA
I don’t want programs Dad, I want to stand on my own. I don’t want to be a charity case.
MICHAEL
You know, that’s what’s wrong with you. You have too much pride.
VERONICA
Thank God for that.
MICHAEL
Your smart mouth’s gonna get you in trouble someday.
VERONICA
What else do you want from me? I said you win!
MICHAEL
It’ll be okay, you’ll see.
The crashing of the pins have a hollow impotent sound, Victoria hugs her Daughter.
VICTORIA
Hija, you do what your heart tells you to do. I’m with you no matter what.
VERONICA
Why, why doesn’t he understand?
VICTORIA
What can they understand?, they don’t have to deal with this. Only women have to.
Breaking away from her Mother, Veronica is sniffling.
VERONICA
I’ll be right back.
Veronica picks up her purse and walks towards the bathroom.
INT. WOMENS BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS
Veronica closes the door, leans against the wall and pulls out Pam’s card. She dials the number.
VERONICA
Hello?
(beat)
I’m pregnant and I want an abortion, can you please help me?
The grumbling of bowling balls and the crashing of the pins are heard.
-
PS80 DAY 8 BOB SMITH’S MISLEADS/REVEALS
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS…?
The importance of looking for opportunities for conceal / reveals. They have useful comedic potential and enrich the story.
Working title: “Moths Around a Flame – The Making of ‘The Blue Angel.'”
INT. THE SCREENING ROOM – DAY.
The room is darkened as images begin to flick onto the screen. There are two people in the audience, Emil Jannings and HEINRICH MANN, the author of “Professor Unrat” the novel on which “The Blue Angel” is derived.
The are watching the rushes.
Projected onto the screen is the scene in Lola Lola’s dressing room when Lola Lola (Dietrich) undresses in front of Professor Rath (Jannings).
Mann smiles and looks at Jannings who has a serious appearance like his character (the Professor) he portrays. On the screen, the Professor is attracted to Lola Lola. Then we see Lola Lola in her apartment in dark nylon stockings as she fumbles over boxes.
Mann is again pleased and smiles. Jannings also smiles.
The rushes end. The lights in the screening room fade in.
Mann and Jannings exit the room a step or two apart.
Jannings halts Mann.
MISLEAD: Mann’s smiles misleads Jannings into thinking that Mann enjoyed the rushes of “The Blue Angel.”
JANNINGS
Heinrich. You seemed to enjoy the rushes.
MANN
I did not.
REVEAL: The reason Mann smiled.
JANNINGS
But I saw you smile.
MANN
I smiled because I liked Miss Dietrich’s naked legs.
Jannings snickers
REVEAL: Jannings personal attraction to Marlene Dietrich.
JANNINGS
So did I.
REVEAL: The reason Mann’s smile is also the reason he did not like the rushes.
MISLEAD: Mann coaxes Jannings to deliver his complaint to von Sternberg
MANN
That is the problem. Miss Dietrich’s naked
legs steal the show. Mr. von Sternberg has
reduced my novel to pornography. You
can tell him that for me.
SMASH CUT:
INT. STUDIO SET OF “THE BLUE ANGEL” – VON STERNBERG’S OFFICE – DAY
Von Sternberg is present along with Jannings.
STERNBERG
(to Jannings)
I don’t care what Heinrich Mann says. All
novelists belly ache about how the movie
mangles their novel. Heinrich Mann signed
a contract giving me full creative control.
Tell Heinrich Mann for me that to say that
“The Blue Angel” is pornography is ridiculous.
Emil! Do you believe you are the star of a pornographic
movie?
JANNINGS
Of course not! But I am concerned that the
story is getting lost on the Professor and
Lola Lola has become the principal character.
REVEAL: von Sternberg explains his method for filming Marlene Dietrich
STERNBERG
Emil, think of the story. How could the Professor
and every man and school boy in town find Lola
Lola alluring and seductive if I don’t film her as
alluring and seductive? There is something else
at play here with Heinrich Mann, somegthing that
perhaps youare not aware of?
JANNINGS
What?
REVEAL: Heinrich Mann’s real reason for criticizing von Sternberg.
STERNBERG
Mann is probably jealous of Marlene because
Mann’s lady friend auditioned for the part of Lola
Lola and I rejected her and hired Marlene.
MISLEAD: Von Sternberg and Jannings agree to keep this whole disruption begun by Heinrich Mann a secret. This will lead to another reveal later on: That parallel to Mann, Jannings is also jealous of Marlene for upstaging him as the star at the direction of von Sternberg about whom he complains is focussed solely on Dietrich to the neglect of formning a director-star actor creative partnership with him, as they had in a previous film they made, i.e., “The Last Command.”
JANNINGS
I was not aware.
STERNBERG
Let this be just between the two of us.
JANNINGS
Of course.
-
Emmanuel’s Misleads/Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is that misleads and reveals are great to include in a story, if done well, and I believe should be used sparingly, depending on genre, and should not confuse the audience.
-
Amy’s Misleads and Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is that you can use this on any scene and make it more interesting. This scene is really lame, but it was going to be even lamer without the mislead.
Josh
Basic character traits: inquisitive, honest to a fault, dad jokes, his kids’ biggest cheerleader
Want/need: Wants to do right by the people in his life, needs to feel like he’s number one to his partner
Paradoxes: He is a hardcore rule follower, tough on crime, but also a softie when it comes to his family
Secret: He once hid the details of a crime to keep a family from being torn apart.
Flaw: Has a temper
Special: He comes from a long line of men who were notoriously good at solving crimes.
INT. – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Chloe and Benjamin sit at the kitchen table. Chloe writes furiously, looking back and forth between her paper and her textbook. Benjamin reads. Josh is engrossed by something on his phone.
Chloe abruptly stops what she’s doing and looks up at her dad.
CHLOE
Dad?
JOSH
(without looking up)
Yeah?
CHLOE
When’s mom coming home?
JOSH
She’s not.
Josh finally looks up.
JOSH
She was discovered today.
CHLOE
Discovered?
JOSH
Yeah, by a Hollywood director.
BENJAMIN
Really?
CHLOE
Is mom going to be in a movie?
JOSH
I’m sure she will eventually. She’s very attractive and the camera loves her.
BENJAMIN
But what about us? You said she was just working late.
JOSH
You’ve got me.
CHLOE
No offense dad, but you can’t even do 7th-grade math.
JOSH
Neither can your mom.
CHLOE
Dad! Are we ever going to see her again?
BENJAMIN
Yeah! I can’t believe she would just leave us like that!
JOSH
Okay, relax you two. She IS just working late, and I don’t know exactly when she’ll be home. Knowing her, probably after we’ve all gone to bed.
Chloe and Benjamin sigh in relief.
CHLOE
DAD! That wasn’t funny!
-
Pablo’s Misleads and Reveals
What I learned: I already had this little mislead planned out in the story. I wasn’t sure how or when to reveal. This felt like good practice. I wonder how I could do this a few more times with the other characters though. It’s got my gears turning now.
EXT. MIGUEL’S HOUSE – DAY
Pete and Clayton, dressed as cable providers, arrive at Miguels doorstep. They knock. No answer. Pete signals to Clayton to walk around the back. In the backyard, Clayton spots an open window and easily pops off the screen.
INT. MIGUEL’S KITCHEN – DAY
Upon entering, he pulls out a pistol and slowly surveys the kitchen. Some dirty dishes, the TV is still on. He stealthily goes into the next room.
EXT. MIGUEL’S HOUSE – DAY
Pete pretends to be jotting something down on a clipboard as he waits for his colleague, all the while keeping watch. The front door opens. Clayton stays behind the door as he signals Pete to enter.
INT. MIGUEL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Pete does a panorama.
CLAYTON: They left in a hurry. All their appliances are still on.
PETE: You think they knew we were were coming?
Pete checks their mail.
PETE: Miguel Dominguez. And… Lucia Dominguez.
Clayton grabs a framed photo of the mother and son. They take one look at eachother and immediately begin opening drawers and cabinets.
INT. MIGUEL’S BEDROOM – DAY
Pete enters Miguel’s bedroom. The computer is still humming. Tinny voices could be heard through the headphones. There’s a live gaming stream on the screen. Pete immediately begins to empty out his drawers. Clayton enters shortly after.
CLAYTON: Aside from medical bills, they don’t seem to have a lot of contacts.
Pete inspects all the half-finished gadgets and doo-dads around the room.
PETE: Not bad. For just using low-budget equipment, the kid seems to be pretty savvy.
CLAYTON: Yeah, well. He stuck his nose where he shouldn’t have.
PETE: Too bad we have to snuff him. Might have been useful to us.
CLAYTON: Anything in here that could tell us where they might be?
PETE: He left his computer on. No security password.
CLAYTON: Dumb spick was too hasty.
Pete sits at Miguels desktop PC. He opens the browser and checks the history for any recent emails. An adolescent’s voice can be heard from the headphones.
GAMER#1: Who the hell is that guy?
GAMER#2: No idea. But he’s using Miguel’s computer.
Peter’s expression turns cold. He puts on the headphones.
GAMER#3: Are those guys carrying guns?
GAMER#4: Dude, I think these guys broke into Miguel’s house.
PETE: Shit.
CLAYTON: What?
Pete reopens the game stream. There’s a red dot on the bottom of the screen: RECORDING. He glances up to see the webcam light is also on.
PETE: Shit.
He unplugs the powerstrip for all the appliances.
CLAYTON: What?
PETE: We gotta go. We can call the hospital to see if they’ve listed an emergency contact or something.
CLAYTON: What just happened?
PETE: It’s nothing. I hope.
INT. MIGUEL’S CAR – DAY
Miguel sits in his car with his mother in the passenger seat. They are parked at a drive-in movie lot. She is entranced by the blank screen as if waiting for the film to start. Miguel looks at his laptop. Right when Pete unplugs his computer, he downloads the recording and saves it to his cloud account.
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