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Day 8 Assignments
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Day 8 Assignment
Ira Drower’s Topper Outline
What I learned from this lesson was how to look for bigger laughs and running laughs by repeating he same statement. Using a brainstorm session can point to these potential running laughs as well as tighten up the comedic scene.
Rough Draft:
Characters: Cheryl – clueless college student who ran out of gas on highway and can only give directions by what store or mall is nearby.
Dad: Concerned father when woken up suddenly believes he is back in the military.
Cheryl is driving home late from her girlfriends when the car starts to hesitate and stall out. She pulls over on the highway and calls her father.
Dad answers but in his half-sleep blurts out “All-right recruits nap-time is over. Drop your socks and grab your cocks we’re marching today.”
Cheryl: First off, dad I don’t have one of those and I am not marching in these boots. They are brand new.
Dad wakes up and realizes its his daughter. Cheryl, what’s up? Are you OK?
Cheryl: No, I am not ok. The car died on the highway.
Dad: Did you remember to put gas in when you get to half a tank like I told you? The fuel gauge doesn’t work it shows half a tank.
Cheryl: How am I supposed to know when it is at half tank when it shows it is at half a tank?
Dad: That’s what that gas app is for that I put on your cell phone. It calculates the distance you drive and lets you know when to add gas.
Cheryl: Oh, I thought it was for the other kind of gas. You know the smelly kind if you ate at a Mexican restaurant or something. What they really need is a crap app. You know to tell you if you are about to step into something brown and smelly.
Dad: Never mind. I’ll come get you. Where are you?
Cheryl: Maybe a San Francisco version would be helpful.
Dad: The fuel gauge is not the only thing registering half-full.
Where are you?
Cheryl: On the highway.
Dad: What highway? Did you see any signs along the way?
Cheryl: I did but I did not read them. I only need to know to turn at the tower by JC Penny’s.
Dad: Are there any signs you can read now?
Cheryl: Yes, here’s one. 6.2
Dad: That is a mile marker. Any street signs you can see or overhead signs?
Cheryl: No, and there are no malls near here.
Dad: Well, you will have to find one for me to get you. Are you by a neighborhood?
Cheryl: Yes, there’s a fence and some homes behind it.
Dad: Go hop the fence and check out the street signs, call me back.
Cheryl ventures out and hops the fence breaking it as she falls over it.
A dog barks and lights go on in the home and Cheryl runs out of the yard leaving the gate open.
Cheryl tries to read the street signs, but it is dark, and she left her glasses in the car. A small poodle follows her through the neighborhood.
The Halloween decorations spook her, she screams and the poodle barks. She picks up the poodle asking it, I don’t know what this place is, but I think I saw the wicked witch. You can be my protector. Reads his dog tag incorrectly, Pierre. The dog barks in agreement.
Seeing some bright lights Cheryl walks with dog in tow to check it out. She still cannot read the street signs without her glasses but can see the addresses which she ignores. Instead, she checks out the windows of the stores on the main street.
Cheryl: ooh, they have a Nordstrom’s Rack here? How come I’ve never been here? And my boots are on sale for $39.95. I paid $59.95!
She checks out the other shops on the street. A Shoe Carnival, Ann Taylor, Yuck, not my style. A Casual Corner. Look Pierre, spring fashions. Cheryl and Pierre continue walking along the street, a custom dress shop, too expensive, a second-hand store. Do you see this, Pierre? Eighties fashions are the latest. Pierre stares into the window with Cheryl.
A car with a couple of young men pulls up along the road.
Dude 1: Hey babe? Going my way?
Cheryl: How would I know which way you are going? She picks up Pierre.
Dude 2: Ask her how much? Dude 1 checks her out head to toe. How much?
Cheryl: Oh, $59.95 but they are on sale at Nordstrom’s rack for $39.95.
She shows off her boots.
Dude1: Let’s go. This chick is running on empty upstairs.
Cheryl continues to walk window shopping with Pierre. A police car pulls up and asks Cheryl if she needs help.
Cheryl: No, my dad is coming to pick me up.
Cop: Why don’t you wait at the Dunkin’ Donuts across the street.
Cheryl: Ye-ew. No thank you. Is there a Starbucks nearby?
Cop: About a mile down the street but it’s closed. You sure you are, Ok?
Cheryl: I have Pierre for protection. He may be small, but he is feisty.
Pierre barks.
Cop: Suit yourself. Cop pulls away.
Cheryl calls her dad
Dad: Elevation 30 degrees, distance three thousand yards, Fire!
Cheryl: Dad, are you awake?
Dad: Latitude 26 degrees west, longitude 160 degrees south. You must cross enemy lines.
Cheryl: Absolutely not. I refuse to go to Dunkin’ Donuts. Donuts are evil.
Mother wakes up and punches dad in stomach.
Dad: Oomph… oh Cheryl. Did you figure out where you are?
Cheryl: No, I left my glasses in the car and worse than that.
Dad: What. What happened?
Cheryl: My boots I paid $59.95 are on sale for twenty dollars less!
Mother: Ask her what stores she sees.
Dad: What stores did you see?
Cheryl rattles off the stores and says Dunkin is across the street but there’s a Starbucks one mile away.
Mother: She is at Dempster and Austin.
Dad: I can see how she gets her sense of directions. I’m on my way.
Dad picks up some gas in a gas can and drives to meet Cheryl.
Dad: Where did the dog come from?
Cheryl: Oh, this is Pierre. Pierre this is Dad.
Dad: It has a tag. The dog’s name is Tank. What is the address?
Dad drives to Tank’s house. The homeowner is outside calling for Tank.
Dad: Say goodbye to Tank.
She walks to homeowner holding the dog.
Cheryl: Is this yours? Cheryl snuggles Tank.
Goodbye Pierre, thanks for being my companion tonight.
A perplexed homeowner walks inside his house with Tank.
At the car, Dad pours the can of gas into the car.
Cheryl: Where have I seen one of those before? Oh, there’s one of those in the trunk.
Dad opens the trunk finding a gas container filled with gas.
The next day, Dad places a sign on the windshield of the car. For sale, Fuel gauge like daughter shows tank half-full.
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Brad’s Topper Outline
What I learned from this assignment is the comedic value of stacking toppers, and how difficult that can be when the ideas don’t come organically.
Swift, Dan and Dirk are harnessed in, Swift in the center seat. Dirk tries to convince him they’re not astronauts.
Dirk tries rolling a joint with astronaut gloves.
Dan rehearses turning the abort handle.
Dirk tries to lick the joint but forgets he has a helmet on. It crashes into his helmet and weed flies everywhere. Swift realizes they’re not astronauts.
Dan goes to turn the abort handle; Swift dives to stop him; the three of them are a tangled fighting mess when the rocket lifts off.
FUNNY MOMENTS:
– Dirk tries to convince Swift they’re not astronauts
Dirk tries to roll and joint with astronaut gloves
Dirk tries to smoke the joint with his helmet on
Dan tries to turn the abort handle to stop lift off and Swift tries to stop him.
They launch a tumbled fighting messFUNNY LINES:
Dirk We’re not supposed to be here. Swift: I know. Shame about Spreckles and Hampton.
Dirk: We’re not astronauts. Swift: That’s what I kept telling them; they wouldn’t listen.
Dirk: We just wanted to get high. Swift: We’ll be a hundred miles high in no time.
Dirk: No “high” high. Swift: Any higher than that, we’re on our way to the moon.
Dan: Hit some buttons. Dirk: It’s a zipper.
Swift’s wife to Spreckles and Hampton wives: Tom and Ace should be in there.
Spectator: Such brave men.
Launch Control: Looking good.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Bradford Hicks.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Denice’s Topper Outline
What I learned doing this assignment: This was hard for me. Couldn’t do anything in five minutes. The steps and examples helped. I learned that it’s important to have the characters have alternating punchlines to set up the toppers.
FUNNY MOMENTS
1. Jake is afraid of water. Gets one leg drenched.
2. Jake steps on button of the toilet from the window. Bowl fills. He steps in it with dry leg.
3. Jake gets tossed off back of cruiser.
4. Jake gets saved by Daisy’s Newfoundland.
5. Dog shakes water on Jake.
6. Ocean gets choppy, shows reef sticking up. Clouds
roll in.
7. Jake looks for a towel in cabinet. Cat appears, leaps at Jake, pees on him. Mayham
8. They hit reef, lose motor
9. Rain douses Jake
10. Newfoundland hauls life preserver, Jake, Cat, to shore. Daisy swims alongside.
Possible Punchlines and Toppers:
NOOO.
You own a boat, but you’re afraid of water.
I like riding on top.
You don’t know much about your own boat.
How can you fall off your own boat?
You keep a cat in a closet?
You’re not the captain?
God is out to get you.
We’re stranded because you’re a thief?
Maybe you should get baptized.
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Amanda Avalon’s Topper Outline!
What I learned is that you need to think carefully about the lines and the comedy situation needs to be a comedy situation. My situation is not comedic enough, but I’ll try to turn it into one.
Funny moments:
Mark storms over to talk to Juniper
Mark: I need to talk to Juniper… before she’s does anything stupid!
His friend: Like what?
Mark: Like sleep with him… no. I know her. She wouldn’t do that!
His friend: Umm… yeah right. I don’t think she a nun.
Mark is standing by the table. Juniper embarrasses him because he won’t let go.
Mark: Darling, what’s going on?
Juniper: I’m having a nice meal.
Noah: And desert (winking to Mark)
Mark is horrified.
Mark: Honey, you can’t be serious? Are you on a date?
Noah: What are you, his daddy?
Juniper: No, you’re my daddy…
Mark: This is absurd! You’re not… sleeping with him? Him?
Waiter walks over and offers Mark a chair.
Noah: That’s ok, he won’t be needing a chair.
Mark wrenches the chair from the poor waiter and sits on it.
Noah: You wanna join the party?
Mark: Keep your mouth shut!
Noah makes a gesture with his hand as to zip his mouth.
Juniper: Don’t talk to Noah like that.
Mark: You need to stop this. I need you.
Juniper: One of your OCD’s..
Mark: I don’t have ab OCD.
Mark is talking with his hand and spills Noah’s redwine on himself. He jumps up, horrified and reaching for the napkins on the table to clean them.
Mark: My pants are ruined! I bought them for you!
Noah: So why are you wearing them?
Juniper: I don’t like the color!
Noah: Although that stain looks quite stylish
Juniper: Yeah, Bordeaux is always in.
Mark is getting more and more irritated. Noah puts on his Jogi mood and puts his hands on a Jogi posture and takes a deep breath.
Noah: Relax… take a deep breath.
Frustrated, Mark foots off from the restaurant. His friend shoots after him, causing a few chairs to almost fall as he rushes out.
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Anthony Ward’s Topper outline
What I learned today was how to create toppers and running gags.
Rich and Mick are at the camping spot. They have all of the supplies they will need neatly packed and attached to their backpacks and sleeping bags. They are wearing camouflage hunting clothes.
Rich tell Mick that he doesn’t think Tony is going to show. Low and behold Tony arrives late. He is wearing a red skullcap and a yellow bubble jacket. He has a lot of luggage with him. He tells the two how much fun this is going to be.
Mick ask Tony what he has on and calls him K & M for ketchup one mustard. Because of the colors he is wearing.
Rich ask Tony is he ready to go hunt something. Tony is ready, but Rich shows Tony his gun, Mick shows his. Mick and Rich both have riffles with scopes on top. Tony pulls out a golden revolver that he brags about the great deal he got at the pawn shop.
Rich brags about his military experience and so does Mick. Tony feels like he has to prove he is a tough guy so he lifts his shirt to show where he was once shot with a bb gun.
They ask Tony why he brought suitcases and so much luggage.
He explains to them that he had no idea how to dress so he brought options.
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Janeen’s Topper Outline!
What I learned doing this assignment is that I accidentally used prop humor instead of the punchlines. I’ll do the opposite tomorrow.
Comedy Situation:
Nick has rescued Holly and Rudy from kidnappers, believing Ivy was killed by the kidnappers. Holly and Rudy have had a sneaky visit from Ivy and are eager for fix her up with Nick. They tell Ivy where the safe house they are heading for is located and she arrives before Nick and the parents do and is lying in wait inside the cottage.
Nick and the parents come into the cottage in the dark, not wanting to call attention to their entrance and Nick mistakes Ivy for a threat to the parents’ safety.
Comedy Characters:
Nick – Former Special Ops with PTSD and a teacup poodle for a service dog.
Ivy – Secret Service agent who doesn’t think things through, yet seems to always be lucky in protecting the President’s parents.
Holly – The President’s mother with acerbic wit and a penchant for matchmaking
Rudy – The President’s father whose banter with his wife is a sign of their lovePossible Funny Moments:
A fight between Nick and Ivy with kibitzing from the parents.
Holly and Rudy trying to stop the fight.
Nick not believing that Ivy is alive (after seeing her get shot and presumably, shot dead).
Nick realizing he’s actually meeting the woman he’s been fantasizing about for weeks.
Ivy realizing Nick talks to his dog and believes that his dog is telling him when he’s having a nightmare or other dream and when things are real.
RUNNING GAG:
In the dark of the cottage, it’s hard to see. One after another, they knock an expensive glass animal off of something and it shatters on the floor. Each item is more expensive and more valued by the cottage’s owner (per Nick)
Ivy: Holly, be careful. There’s a Murano Dog Fantasy on that table
Rudy: Is that code for dog poo?
Holly: No, it’s not code. It’s this? She thrusts the glass dog into a small wedge of light coming in a window.
Rudy turns to look at it and knocks a glass dog off the table with his elbow.
Ivy: Oh no! That was a Dalmata dog
Rudy: A Dalmatian?
Ivy: Probably. I think Dalmata is Italian for dalmation.
Rudy: That’s stupid.
Ivy: No that’s a couple of hundred dollars you own the owner of this cottage.
Nick comes in and Ivy ducks into the shadows.
Holly: Nick, be careful. There’s a little table on your right with a very expensive glass dog on it.
Nick turns to look, but it’s dark so he sweeps his hand across the table slowly and knocks the dog to the floor
Ivy: Oh no! That was a XXX
Nick: Who said that?
Ivy steps into the stream of light
Ivy: I did
Nick: You’re dead.
Ivy: I’m not.
Nick holds Grizzly in front of his face.
Nick: Threat?
Grizzly licks Nick’s nose.
Nick: You’re dead.
Ivy: I’m not a threat.
Nick: Of course not. You’re dead. Holly, Rudy, let’s get settled in.
Ivy: I’m not dead, but if you don’t stop saying that, you will be. We can’t stay here. Dasher knows you were coming here. We have to leave.
Nick: (holding Grizzly up again) Real?
Grizzly licks his nose.
Nick: That makes no sense.
He walks slowly up to Ivy, not believing his eyes.
Ivy reaches behind her for a weapon and finds a more expensive glass dog.
She wields it high.
Ivy: don’t make me break this over your head.
Holly: Ivy’s not a threat. She’s our secret service agent.
Nick: She was shot. She’s dead. She’s not really here. Grizzly? Again, a lick on the nose.
Ivy: I took a bullet to my vest. I’m bruised, but fine. I’m alive.
Nick: You can’t be. You’re perfect. Grizzly? Just a lick and a whimper
Holly: That poor dog must be getting thirsty.
Ivy: Can I pet him?
Nick: Her.
Ivy reaches for Grizzly and she leaps into her hand. Ivy instinctively drops the glass dog in her hand to catch Grizzly.
Ivy: That was a $$$ X dog!
Nick snatches Grizzly back. She’s my service dog. Hands off. She’s very delicate.
Nick: Is she a threat or is she dead?
Grizzly shakes her head.
Rudy: I guess she can answer either/or questions.
Nick gives him an “of course not” look, catches himself.
Nick: Is she a good guy? Grizzly licks his nose.
Nick: Why didn’t you just say that in the beginning.
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