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Day 8 Assignments
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4 Replies
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Lois’ Intrigue Patterns
What I learned … If a sentence feels clunky, play with it. What is it really trying to say.
Polly is jealous and clearly plotting some way to stop Meff from being a skunk.
A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
It’s not fair that Meff gets to be a skunk and she doesn’t. The first chance she gets, she sells him as a pet.
B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
It’s Meff’s job to mind the store. But he’s not there. And a skunk is wandering about. Does she know it’s Meff when she sells him for a pet?
C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..
If Meff can be a skunk, she can break rules, too. Polly decides to take some of the asteroid that Dad says must never leave their family farm and make it into jewelry to sell at the Skunk Beauty Pageant.
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _
____________.
Polly is worried that Meff will give away the family secret – that some of them can become skunks. If he never gets a rotten egg, he’ll stay a skunk and the secret will be safe.
E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Maybe Meff turning into a skunk is a good thing. Now that he knows what it’s like to be a skunk, he’ll see that they are family – not just pets.
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences
Meff is a show-off. Polly needs to stop him from becoming a skunk, so he doesn’t betray the family secret.
G. If he does becomes a skunk when somebody’s watching, that means ___nobody will trust her family again – especially not her.
H. State the mystery.
Why do some members of Polly’s family get to be skunks when they are sprayed by skunks?
I. Should be/could be _a skunk sometimes for fun, but it is even worse. He could turn into a skunk if somebody who knows his secret decides to spray him with skunk spray. This gives people power over him.
J. Intense language.
Polly’s family has kept their were-skunk heritage a secret. But now that Meff has become a skunk, he could betray that secret in his typical show-off behavior. Polly must stop him.
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Lisa’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is that line can be made more intriguing by using the intrigue tools.
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Module 2 Lesson 8
Griff’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment: Every sentence in the TV Bible can be elevated using this process.
The sentence I pulled out of my TV bible for THE LAST STRAW:
At first separated and absorbed into the foster care system, Randy and Todd hatch their own plan to hit the road and find out what happened to Stephanie and Marcey.
My more intriguing sentence to replace it:
Randy and Todd are shocked and puzzled – did Stephanie finally have enough and run away? Has she been abducted? What does Marcey have to do with it? In order to find out, the boys are going to have to elude foster care and stay together. Then what? Hit the road to find out what became of their mom, that’s what!
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Lesson 8 Writing with Intrigue
This exercise could easily be done on every sentence in the tv pitch bible. My sentence now has much more PUNCH!
ANTIPODES: SENTENCE I WORKED ON FROM MY SUMMARY:
To protect her from the authorities she decides to dress as a man when working with the criminal underworld boss.
NOW BECOMES:
Harriet becomes a pants wearing law breaker when committing scandalous crimes for the underworld boss.
A: SOMETHING SHOCKING. From a mild country woman who trains horses to a cross dressing felon who works for the criminal underworld boss.
B. STRONG STATEMENT: For her own protection, Harriet decides to dress as a man when working with the criminal underworld boss.
C. QUESTION: Can Harriet keep her identity a secret whilst she covertly works for the criminal underworld boss? How will she accomplish this?
D. CHARACTER 1: Harriet is worried that the criminal underworld boss is losing his grip as her popularity rises amongst the ranks.
E. WRONG: Harriet disguised as a man enjoys her lawless behaviour when working for the criminal underworld.
F. PATTERN-CONSEQUENCES: Harriet has fooled the authorities as they are now searching for a male criminal, but can she keep it up?
G. HE DOES/MEANS THAT: Harriet chooses to be disguised as a man when carrying out illegal activities for the criminal underworld boss. Does this mean she will never be caught?
H. MYSTERY: Harriet disguises herself as a man when working as a lawbreaker for the criminal underworld boss.
I. SHOULD/COULD BE/WORSE: Now that Harriet dresses as a man when committing crimes, the underworld boss realises she is rising in popularity amongst the ranks and will put an end to her activities – permanently.
J. INTENSE LANGUAGE: Harriet becomes a pants wearing law breaker when committing scandalous crimes for the underworld boss.
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