Day 8 Assignments

[Armand Petrikowski]

Armand Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned doing this assignment…

SUBTEXT POINTERS

I’ve had people say they had difficulty understanding the Subtext Pointers, so let’s start with the definitions and then the example.

Metaphor – The application of a word or phrase to an objector concept which it does not literally denote.

Implication – Something indicated or suggested as naturally to be inferred.

Insinuation – An indirect or covert suggestion or hint; especially of a derogatory nature.

Hint – A clue, a slight covert suggestion.

Sarcasm – A sneering or cutting remark toward an object of ridicule.

Allusion – To reference casually or indirectly.

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT

Lex and Dallas explore their surroundings.

LEX

This must be the killer’s lair.

DALLAS

It kinda looks like your bedroom at home.

LEX

That place is hardly a home.

DALLAS

Younger daughters have it easy.

LEX

You made it such a walk in the park.

DALLAS

I didn’t ask for my parents divorce.

LEX

Don’t blame me for your mom being a starter wife.

DALLAS

Or your mom a gold digger.

LEX

Your mom is a gold digger too!

DALLAS

I guess that has a type.

LEX

He’s a jerk, isn’t it?

DALLAS

He wasn’t always like that. You’re too young to remember—

LEX

Too young, too weird for him, or you.

DALLAS

I could have been nicer to you.

LEX

That’s a confession.

DALLAS

We’re about to die.

LEX

The one thing we’ll do together.

They exchange smiles.

[John Budinscak]

Budinscak Subtext Pointers 2

Day 8

What I learned doing this assignment:

o Subtext Pointers enhance the reader’s and audience’s story experience.

o We can have the audience experience what we want them to experience with the right subtext in dialogue, actions and scenes.

Select a scene that has two components:

A) Something is hidden that…

B) …is part of a conflict between the two people.

A – Jack’s sister, Cat, doesn’t approve of Jack making a trip to Atlantic City for Don Vito.

B – Conflict – Cat doesn’t know the trip is to Burbank, she doesn’t know why Jack’s making the trip and she has no clue her nephews, Puck & Sal, are with Jack.

Setup:

We’re in the middle of Act 2. In a New Mexico hotel, Jack decides to check in back home and home means calling the restaurant.

Scene:

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Typical dingy hotel room.

JACK

Hey, you two, go take a bath, shower or something. Get clean.

PUCK

But…

JACK

You stink. Go.

Jack waits for the bathroom door to close before he makes his call. He knows full well everyone will be in the weeds over the lunch hour. He rejoices over the thought.

CAT (OS)

Carmine’s. Can you hold, please?

JACK

Sure.

Indistinct conversations in the background – they’re real busy. Jack knows he called at the perfect time.

CAT (OS)

Sorry. Carmine’s, may I help you?

JACK

Cat, Jack.

CAT (OS)

Oh, it’s mister Atlantic City. Are you calling to check in with us or check up on us?

JACK

As pleasant as always. How’s lunch?

CAT (OS)

Busier than hell. You should be here and not in Atlantic City.

JACK

Someone asks me a favor, I help out.

CAT (OS)

Do me a favor then, come to work. (beat) When the Old Man asks a favor, he wants something. What do you owe him, Jack?

JACK

I’m just checking IN to see if you needed my help with anything, see if you miss me. That stuff.

CAT

Riiiiight. Hold on.

Muffled conversations.

INT. CARMINE’S – CONTINUOUS

Carmine’s is busy. Cat’s behind the counter, phone buried in her hip, directing business via hand signals that would make any traffic cop proud.

CAT

Hey, you two. Over here – counter. (to her sister) Betty, two plates, two on one and three on one. With everything. (back on the phone) Jack, what do you want?

INT. HOTEL ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Jack looks at the bathroom door when he talks with Cat

JACK

Hey, who’s cooking?

CAT (OS)

Tommy. Anything else?

JACK

What are you doing later?

CAT (OS)

Waiting for Mary to show up. She watched Packs….

JACK

Packs?

CAT (OS)

Short for backpack. Puck’s new nickname.

JACK

I wonder if he takes it off to shower?

CAT (OS)

Got me. Well, Mary had Puck and Sal last night and I’m taking care of them tonight.

JACK

Really? Where’s Mary?

CAT (OS)

I don’t know. She should be here by now. Why? Are you checking UP on her?

JACK

What are you going to do with boys?

CAT (OS)

Puck and Sal? I was thinking of renting a movie. (beat) Hold on. Hey!

Muffled conversations continue where Cat left off. The shower’s no longer running in the hotel bathroom.

JACK

Cat!

CAT (OS)

What?

JACK

What movie you thinking of renting?

CAT (OS)

The boys like Clint Eastwood, so…

JACK

Don’t rent anything.

CAT (OS)

Why?

JACK

They won’t be interested.

CAT (OS)

You know all about kids now?

JACK

Puck and Sal are here with me.

CAT (OS)

WHAT?

JACK

We’re in Atlantic City. Gotta go.

Jack hangs up as the bathroom door opens and his nephews spill into the room.

SAL

Who was that?

JACK

It wasn’t the answer man.

[Jodi Harrison]

Jodi’s Subtext Pointers 2 – Day 8

Working with the Subtext Pointer methods help fill in more colorful choices for the scene. Using Metaphors, implications, insinuations, hints, sarcasm, and allusion can help round out a scene full of interesting situations and visuals.

EXT. BENKER HOUSE – DAY

Jerry drives up in a beautiful red convertible with a racing stripe on its side. It looks like it just came off the showroom floor.

He proudly exits the car and runs his hands across its smooth lines, if it were a woman this would look like an act of seduction. He points his key fob at it until he hears it respond. He looks satisfied as he turns and walks into his house.

INT. BENKER HOUSE – SAME

Jerry opens the door and immediately shouts.

JERRY: Honey, I’m home, boy, have I got something for you to see.

SASCHA (V.O.): And I’ve got something for you to see!

Sascha comes out of the dining room holding some papers. If looks could kill, he’d have been a goner.

SASCHA: What is this Jerry? What is this shit? A foreclosure notice!? I knew I should have taken care of the finances myself.

JERRY: What da ya talk.

Jerry grabs the papers from Sascha’s hands. Reads them slowly, buying himself some time. His wheels are turning, then his light bulb goes off, he readies his response.

JERRY (cont.): Of course I paid the mortgage, this must have been a mistake. They must have this confused, it’s the property taxes I haven’t paid yet, not the mortgage.

Sascha looks bewildered.

SASCHA: Huh, I didn’t know they are connected like this.

Jerry lying through his teeth.

JERRY (cont.): Sure, honey, that’s how foreclosure warn– I mean, statements work. It’s a reminder to pay the property taxes. Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.

SASCHA: Well, let’s do that soon, like yesterday. Please, Jerry. This is scary.

JERRY: Don’t worry, it’s as good as done. In the meantime, I’ve solved our transportation problem.

SASCHA: (smiling) What?

Jerry leads her to the door.

JERRY: Now, close your eyes.

SASCHA: (Excited) Okay.

JERRY: Now, keep em’ closed.

SASCHA: (Giggling) What Jerry, what is it, oh! Is it a family station wagon I’ve been wanting for us?

JERRY: Maybe.

Jerry opens the door. He covers her eyes with his hands while moving her towards the open door frame.

SASCHA: Oh, I’m so excited!

JERRY: Ta da!

Jerry takes his hands from her eyes. Sascha’s smile turns to a disappointed frown. She looks gut punched.

SASCHA: (sarcastically) A family chick magnet. Just what we needed.

She walks away, shaking her head. She shouts behind her.

SASCHA (cont.)
Another good one Jerry.

[Amy Falkofske]

Amy’s Subtext Pointers

What I learned doing this assignment is you can approach this by having the characters not say what they actually mean and the subtext pointers come out naturally.

INT. ICE CREAM SHOP – NIGHT

Andrea and Chloe sit at a cute cafe table both with huge jars filled with ice cream in front of them.

ANDREA

Wow! I don’t know if I can eat all this.

CHLOE

You can do it. You can do anything. That you care about.

Andrea is stunned.

ANDREA

What’s that supposed to mean?

Chloe rolls her eyes.

CHLOE

Nothing.

ANDREA

How was school today?

CHLOE

Do you really want to know?

Andrea looks confused, but then SOMEONE recognizes her and her attention is diverted.

ANDREA

(not looking at Chloe)

Of course, I do.

Chloe stares at her mom and shakes her head in disbelief.

CHLOE

Mom! Someone threatened me today.

This gets Andrea’s attention.

ANDREA

What? Do they know who you are? Who was it?

CHLOE

A girl in my drama class. Oh, she knows, and that’s why she hates me.

ANDREA

That’s absurd. Everyone wants to be the friend of the girl whose mom is on TV.

CHLOE

This isn’t about you, Mom.

ANDREA

Oh, I know. Just be nice to her. She’ll come around.

Chloe cuts her eyes at her mom.

CHLOE

Thanks. That’s so helpful.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned: practice makes this easier…

EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – STREET BUS-STOP – DAY

The typical more-of-a-mist rain as Ed waits. Fidgets, somehow, even with his back straight as a yardstick, as—

GROWL, the classic exhaust note of a Harley deepens. Then—

PATATA-PATATA-PATATA—shifts to idle, as Pat puts a foot down. Exactly where Ed expects the bus to stop.

ED

What?

PAT

Offering you a ride, like always.

ED

No thanks, Pat, as always.

PAT

You are so chicken.

(And, demanding)

Where do you go every morning?

As both see the bus approaching, Ed ignores the question—

ED

I prefer to stay dry.

Pat looks up at the sky. At Ed, drips on her face as—

A spew of exhaust, the bus gets closer.

ED

Exactly.

(Now)

Would you please get out of the way?

PAT

I thought they teach you in Shrink School how to live a fun life. Love and sex. That Freud stuff?

The bus bears down. No love lost, here—

ED

(Terse. Corrects)

Love and WORK. Now move.

The bus honks. Then…

PAT

What are you scared of?

…Veers around Pat as—

Ed gives chase. Arms flail, uncharacteristically dramatic

ED

(Over his shoulder)

I’m not scared of anything.

PAT

So, you’re just dry? Like weetbix? A desert?

(An idea)

Kindling—ready to catch fire!

The bus screeches to a stop and—

Ed climbs on. Pat hollers so the world can hear—

PAT

Well, Dry Man, take it from an expert. The things you avoid will someday bite you in the ass!

[Rob Bertrand]

Rob Bertrand’s Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned: I learned to use Subtext Pointers to create subtext.

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

The whir of of an espresso machine. Hands pump flavor into a cup. A blender crushes ice.

A Barista hands a group of girl’s their drinks.

Annie watches all this from the safety of the corner booth. She sits with Jessica, ignoring the homework on her laptop.

JESSICA
Can we stay here till Dad gets home?

Annie doesn’t answer. She’s too busy staring at a group of teenagers causing a huge commotion. It’s Jocelyn, with a new group of friends. She throws both casts around a high school JOCK, 18 and biggest douchebag in school.

Jocelyn think’s he’s the funniest guy alive.

ANNIE
We should get out of here–

DANNY (O.S.)
–Mind if I join you?

Without warning, Danny slides into the booth, next to Annie. He looks healthier. Cleaner.

ANNIE
Oh! Uh, hey…Danny. We were…just leaving.

DANNY
You just looked like you needed a friend. I promise I won’t hit on you.

Annie considers it. She does need a friend.

ANNIE
Okay…but just for a bit. I got to get this one home.

DANNY
Hey Jessica.

JESSICA
Hey.

Annie continues to glare at Jocelyn, who knows she’s being watched. Worse, she’s enjoying it.

Danny sees what’s going on .

DANNY
Want me to kill her?

Annie laughs.

JESSICA
Our ghost already tried that…

Danny looks across the shop to Jocelyn. Her smug face.

DANNY
She’ll get what she deserves…

ANNIE
I just thought she was different…that’s all.

DANNY
You know what they say? No one is ever truly who they seem to be.

Annie ponders Danny’s statement, looks over to Jocelyn, who’s having the time of her life. Perhaps he’s right.

DANNY
Perception is funny like that. In my experience the nicest looking people are the biggest monsters.

JESSICA
Annie say’s monsters aren’t real. That they’re just childhood fears.

DANNY
I’ll tell you a secret.

He lean’s close to Jessica

DANNY
(whispers)
Childhood is over the moment you realize that monsters are real. They just look like you and me….

Danny sits up, staring at Jocelyn.

DANNY
Jocelyn’s a perfect example…The way she used your sister…she’s a monster. And monster’s always get what’s coming to them…

CUT TO:

[Janeen Johnson]

Janeen’s Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s harder (for me) to put subtext in dialogue than in action.

SCENE

INT. FIBER GUILD MEETING – TWO WEEKS LATER

All five gals are seated in the circle, working on projects.

BRIDGET

I have some good news and some bad news.

EMILY

Oh? Tell us.

BRIDGET

Three of my repeat tenants have now found the courage to leave their abusers for good.

They look to one another in self-congratulation.

MORGAN

That’s fabulous.

RHONDA

About time.

CINDA

How’d they do it?

Bridget waits for the group to focus on her again.

BRIDGET

One of them struck her husband with a brick, leaving him unconscious. That gave her time to get her go bag – I always tell women to have one of those – and her kids and go to her parents’ place in Ohio.

EMILY

That’s a violent exit. Is he okay?

Morgan focuses hard on her work, her face red.

RHONDA

Bridget called me when she hears about it so I checked. A concussion, but he’s okay otherwise.

EMILY

Mad as hell, I bet. Is he going to file charges.

CINDA

Probably not. He wants the wife. The kids were hers when they got together. If she’s convicted, she’ll be in jail, not in his house.

BRIDGET

All’s well that ends well. The second woman was tired of being slapped around all the time. Her husband plugged her with his fist when she slapped him back. She’s out of the hospital with her jaw wired shut for six weeks, but she and her kids went to live with her brother across town.

Morgan shifts uncomfortably.

CINDA

So empowerment equals violence? Is that how this is supposed to work?

She looks at Morgan who grimly shakes her head.

EMILY

What about the third woman?

BRIDGET

That one’s less violent, but no less effective. The woman changed the locks on her house so her husband couldn’t get in, took her kids and move back to her mother’s.

RHONDA

Doesn’t he have a right to be in his own house?

Bridget smiles.

BRIDGET

That’s just it. It’s her house. He moved in with her when they got together and had her so cowed she couldn’t find a way to kick him out. Now he has no house and no clothes.

RHONDA

So she gets the last laugh.

BRIDGET

I told her to some with some big burly movers, put his stuff in a storage unit with the first month’s

BRIDGET

rent paid and then send a registered letter to him where he works. She wouldn’t be required to do more than that, would she, Em?

EMILY

How long were they together?

BRIDGET

Less than two years.

EMILY

Then that would keep him from having any legal standing if he tried to go after her for any reason, criminal or civil.

RHONDA

So Morgan, you’ve been quiet. Three women saved from further abuse. That’s good, right?

Morgan shifts again uncomfortably, drops a stitch, fumbles to pick it up.

The others watch, waiting for her to respond.

MORGAN

Yeah, I think so. They’re all safe. That’s what we wanted, right?

Everyone focuses on their work, frowning, not looking around.

[Julia Keefer]

EXT. LAKE MINNEWASKA -DAY
Hot sunny August 2022.
Jake and Litonya are teaching baby Anahu to swim.

Delphine and Kiele race with other teens. Kisele wins the prize.

Orhan and Nikos provide flutes and food for everyone on the beach.

JAKE
I am happy now because I have everything I want, but fearing the future makes me unhappy. Pleasure is the precious moment.

NIKOS
That is called carpe diem in Latin, hedonism in Greece. Only those who have nothing to lose, can be happy.

A PASSERBY disagrees.

You must be born rich to be happy.

NIKOS
Life hurts. Happiness accepts obstacles with serenity although Epicurus thought happiness was the absence of suffering.

At this point BB shows up in his rowboat, dressed in black mourning for his son Joe.

BB
I am suffering.
JAKE
Turn your frown upside down and be a clown to party around town. Anything negative can be tipped positive with fitness, pleasure, passion, purpose and no pandemics.

He says in unison with others: Sometimes.

ORHAN
Sa’āda (happiness) is a central concept in Islamic philosophy used to describe the highest aim of human striving,namely that of the hereafter. Only when a human being has liberated his/her soul completely from its corporal existence and arrives at what is called “active intellect”. Al-Ghazali believed in practical-ethical perfection and that by exercising his God-given capacity for reason man must be drawn to the spiritual alchemy that transforms the soul from worldliness to complete devotion to God.

Orhan plays the flute.

KISELE
We are so sorry for your loss. What would help you be happy now?

BB

Happiness is Luck. Its bedrock is the loss of others. Happiness floats on top of misery like cream on coffee. There isn’t enough for everyone. Jake knows this more than anyone. [Subtext: If Rodney hadn’t died of COVID, he couldn’t have had Litonya and Kisele for his family. Anahu would never have been born. If CS and Joe hadn’t been burnt, Aanadi wouldn’t be his daughter. No one knows I am responsible for Jake’s happiness, not fate.]

KISELE
That’s not nice.

BETTY
Humans aren’t nice. Weren’t you happy to win the swimming race and get the trophy?

KISELE
Yes, well, sort of.

BB
You were the only winner so the rest loss and some were miserable. See what I mean?

DELPHINE
Scientific evidence suggests that being happy may have major benefits for your health. It may also help combat stress, boost your immune system, protect your heart and reduce pain. What’s more, it may even increase your life expectancy. .He asked what about you?

BB
Anything that floats my boat. Who wants to come for a row?

DELPHINE

As long as you don’t capsize us.

You are great swimmers.

LITONYA

Happiness is swimming peacefully on top of life. Or rock climbing.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned doing this assignment. Again not sure this is the best scene I could have used, but I’m trying to keep moving and complete scene I need to move forward. I believe I utilized a few little things.

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE/DINING ROOM – NIGHT

The dining room is as inviting as the rest of the house. Jim and Marin are placing the last of the food on the table as Osgood tentatively enters.

MARIN

Perfect timing! Have a seat.

Marin takes a seat, placing a napkin on her lap. Osgood mirrors her.

MARIN

Did you get all settled? Anything you need?

OSGOOD

No, I’m good. Thank you.

Jim enters with a serving dish.

JIM

I have to apologize, we didn’t even ask you about food allergies or preferences or anything.

MARIN

Lucky for you, we usually have options. Jim and I have very different tastes, Jim went vegan several years ago, but if I don’t have meat every couple of days I will literally chew my arm off.

JIM

We do help balance the universe.

Jim still standing raises both arms in the air.

JIM

(in a booming voice) Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight the fate of the universe sits upon one man’s decision! Meat? Or no meat? What will he choose??

Jim “drum rolls” on the table. Marin just shakes her head at Jim’s silliness.

Osgood unsure of the antics.

Jim uncovers a dish full of veggies with a variety of textures and colors.

JIM

In this corner, we have a delicious, nutritious meal that was prepared with zero animal cruelty!

APPLAUSE, CATCALLS, WHISTLES.

JIM

And in THIS corner we have a plate of sadness and pain.

He uncovers a plate of meat, blood juices pooling.

MARIN

Very funny… Your Honor, he’s leading the witness.

JIM

What’ll it be?

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

Emmanuel’s Subtext Pointers

What I learned doing this assignment is identifying and using subtext pointers is a neat way to add drama, intrigue and suspense to dialogue in any scene.