-
Day 8 Assignments
Reply to Post Your Assignments
-
8 Replies
-
Amy has Lots of Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is…
This exercise helped me to see where all the problems are in my script. I don’t have many scenes where something unique is being revealed about my characters.
Make a list of ALL the hooks in your script.
1. At the university science lab, something has happened. Dr. Smitty is frantic. Meagan is just standing there smug. Mark, the camera man is flabbergasted. Andrea, the news anchor has just disappeared into the machine. Suddenly, Andrea comes back.
2. Two weeks earlier, Andrea sits at the anchor desk to interview the curator at an art museum where a painting has been stolen. The curator professes love for her.
3. Andrea upsets her family when she wants to stay a work late and cover breaking news.
4. Josh jokes with Benjamin and Chloe that Andrea isn’t coming home because she got discovered by Hollywood.
5. The mayor dedicates the new science lab. Dr. Smitty speaks. He finds out that Meagan is his teaching assistant. Andrea and Meagan meet.
6. A week later, the newly built supercollider is in operation at the science lab. Andrea covers it for the TV station and gets sucked into the machine partly due to Megan’s dastardly suggestion that she stand closer to the machine.
7. Andrea travels to different points in her past, the day she met Josh, a day while she was an intern at the station, her wedding day, the birth of Benjamin, the birth of Chloe and the day she became WBEN’s noon news anchor.
8. Andrea pops back out of the machine, except she has landed a year into the future.
9. Andrea tries to go back to work, but she can’t get in.
10. Andrea goes home and scares Josh and the kids and finds out that she’s been missing for a year and Josh is now engaged to Meagan.
11. Andrea goes back to the science lab and confronts Dr. Smitty.
12. Andre and Josh have an awkward meeting at a restaurant.
13. Andrea goes to the station to beg Tom for her job back.
14. Chloe writes Andrea a letter one night while she’s working late to tell her she loves her and to remind her about her swim meet. Andrea misses the swim meet and upsets Chloe.
15. Andrea gets a chance to sit at the anchor desk again to cover a bad storm in town.
16. Chloe gets bullied at school because of Andrea.
17. Chloe tries to talk to Andrea about her bully, but she isn’t very helpful.
18. At his baseball game, Benjamin asks to pitch and gets told no. Andrea tries to talk to the coach for him, but just ends up embarrassing him.
19. Andrea bakes cookies for Chloe’s swim team’s bake sale, but they are a flop.
20. Josh goes with Andrea to cover the town’s food festival. Meagan interrupts them.
21. Andrea misses Chloe’s school play because one of her tires was slashed. She and Josh argue.
22. The family goes to get ice cream after the play. Meagan shows up. Andrea learns that she’s gotten the anchor position again, meaning Meagan is back on as the kids’ nanny per Andrea and Josh’s agreements.
23. Andrea learns that Meagan was researching time travel with the supercollider.
24. Andrea confronts Dr. Smitty again.
25. Andrea shows up at Benjamin’s baseball game and confronts Meagan. Josh gets angry with Andrea.
26. Andrea lures Meagan to the science lab with the intention of pushing her in the machine. It doesn’t work. Joannie gets sucked into the machine instead.
27. Josh is so angry with Andrea for trying to push Meagan in the supercollider, he asks her for a divorce.
28. It’s the night of Chloe’s dance recital. Andrea gets asked to cover a fire at the science lab. She’s torn about what to do, especially when she gets a call from Josh saying she’s needed at the recital.
29. Meagan watches the lab burn from her car.
30. Dr. Smitty tells everyone that he saw Meagan slip out of the building earlier.
31. Andrea arrives at the dance recital with the police.
32. After the dance recital, Andrea gets fired because she chose her family over her career.
33. Back to the opening scene at the science lab, Andrea pops out of the supercollider. It’s 2022 again.
34. Andrea goes straight home and vows to spend more time with her family.
35. Andrea covers Chloe’s play and gets good feedback about it.
36. Andrea has a chance to go cover the President’s arrival in town, but gives it to Joannie instead.
37. At Benjamin’s baseball game, he is pitching. Andrea gets a phone call. It’s a job offer from the network to be their new cultural reporter.
Main Characters
Andrea: 2, 3, 13
Josh: 4
Meagan: 1, 6, 29
-
Hooks create curiosity, i.e. questions.
1) MM Red magma cools into igneous rocks locked down in the Palisades between NYC and West Point Military Academy overlooking the Hudson River to tell the story of the Seismic Seesaw by Jake and the Magma Monsters from 2020 to 2040. How can rocks talk?
2) Jake encourages Litonya as she out boulders him in the Palisades, showing his charming, feminist side. How can this Native American woman outclimb a male fitness pro?
3) Ibrahim’s black diamond and gold prayer beads flash in the sunrise as he prays with his family on the garden roof of his Manhattan Summit high rise. Why are these prayer beads so expensive? How many people are doing salat on Manhattan high rises?
4) BB cleans up his homeless encampment on the East River and gets into millionaire Ibrahim’s expensive electric car to drive through Manhattan not talking until they chat about suicide on the George Washington Bridge. Will they commit suicide or push someone off?
5) As Jake cares for his history prof dad paralyzed with ALS, an antique chandelier swings with the noose of the past. Can ADHD Jake slow down enough to be a caretaker as well as a boxing coach?
6) Ibrahim has a vaccine party at his Tudor mansion in New Paltz for his wife Sandrine and triplets Omar, Astride, and Delphine in the fall of 2020 before the rollout. Where did he get them?
7) Why do Jake and Litonya secretly make love in the snow in the cemetery after the funeral of her husband Rodney Feldman and his parents Jen and Eliot?
8) After the condo collapse of the Summit that killed Ibrahim’s wife, daughter, and son, why does he throw his Koran into the grave and take off a few days later with Blue Origin? Is it to get away from it all? How can he afford it? Why does he do this eco-incorrect thing when he is running EvergreenEnergy, a sustainable company?
9) Because MM reveals BB’s past as a serial killer/rapist/arsonist before the car fire, it creates suspense but when his son Joe is accidentally killed as he tries to save his wife CS and the homeless Feldman siblings, this tragic surprise cuts into BB’s psychopathic soul so that he opts for a sex change in old age. What will happen next? Is this possible?
10) After BB becomes Betty and is raped and beaten several times, Ibrahim gives her the Bright Space Brain Buffet so that she performs an outstanding King Lear. Jake’s kids wonder about her past. How could she memorize Shakespeare in five minutes? As an old woman, why is she so athletic?
11) Years later, after Jake hits his beloved Litonya while hallucinating at night because of his PD, he learns to talk to the rocks to make a deal so that superhuman forces can help him and his parents with ALS and Alzheimers survive. We all want cures for these diseases but where are they?
12) After Jake obeys his dad’s DNR, he is surprised by a colonial and Native history party at the cemetery where Anahu, the son he had with Litonya, is doing research on past crimes of New York state.
13) Betty persuades Ibrahim to buy her the new carnivorous dentures at the NYC dental school so that the next time she is raped, her perp is in for a treat. When they meet Hank, the homeless senior who sings Sinatra songs at the Pierre gala, Betty takes him for a nightly stroll in Central Park and when he bends to kiss her she gives him a Dracula bite. Will he bleed to death? How many people has Betty killed?
14) Jake cries when his mom dies of Alzheimer’s and Litonya doesn’t come to the funeral. Where is she?
15) BB and Ibrahim dine at another dinner in Hudson Yards where Ibrahim gives speeches for STEMGARCHS but when Kisele, Litonya’s son contradicts him on alternative energy, he signals Betty to fix the ropes on the Skyscraping Adventure. Kisele falls. His girlfriend, Ibrahim’s remaining child, Delphine shrieks. Kisele is ironically caught by the Vessel, the place where most people his age commit suicide. Will this unwelcome news story expose BB and Ibrahim?
16) Where is Litonya? Since she and Jake were never officially married, she secretly marries Ibrahim and they go to a gala at the MET where he gives more speeches. She is wearing the black and gold prayer beads we saw in the first scenes, turned into a necklace, instead of a wedding ring. When they leave the MET, they run into Jake in fitness clothes. Ibrahim says he must catch a plane so Litonya and Jake go to Harlem for another kind of party and run into Betty at dawn who sails them back to New Paltz.
17) Jake is desperate for the Bright Brain Buffet to cure his PD so he and the kids confront Betty on a hammock saying they know her past crimes. She agrees to give them the BBB if they will shut up. They gossip about Ibrahim, the real villain, and Betty agrees to poison him. How? Although this is a plot point, the unusual circumstances make it a hook. Can Betty be trusted?
18) As Betty is eating the delicious last lunch on Ibrahim’s yacht, Litonya and Jake arrive to get the Bright Space Brain Buffet, but Betty surprises them and thrusts them below deck in a crucible where they must face each other’s flaws and lies. It looks like they will never get out but Delphine, Kisele, Anahu, and Aanadi, the adopted daughter of CS and Joe, arrive to catch and try the villains, Ibrahim and BB. BB agrees to keep eating the poison rather than be arrested or make the good guys kill him but what will they do with Ibrahim? As BB nods off to death gently rocking in the boat, Ibrahim shoots himself with a tiny gun. Are they really dead?
19) Before the kids sail down to NYU Langone to give the bodies to medical research, Litonya and Jake get off at the Palisades to play on their favorite seesaw even though they are now in their sixties. Suddenly MM unleashes an avalanche of igneous rocks due to a small earthquake caused by fracking, and buries them. Will they ever be found?
20) When the kids come back, they pull the rocks off to find the two bodies and throttle down to NYU Langone. Litonya goes to the morgue, but Jake is just in a deep coma. When he awakes, he is paralyzed from the neck down like his dad, but he can still talk and sing. When and how will he die? What will the kids do? How does the Rock Cycle continue? MM joins the Manhattan Prong of the second novel, Schist, Marble, and Gneiss in Come to Magnificent Metamorphic Manhattan, and the Sedimentary Shawangunk of the first novel Climb and Punishment to tell humans about the rock cycle. Can humans trade places with rocks for eternal life?
-
Emmanuel has Lots of Hooks
What I learned from this assignment is hooks are key to hooking an agent, manager, producer or studio executive to pause and listen to more of your pitch.
-
Michelle Damis Has Lots of Hooks
What I learned doing assignment Is that I think that cambing a Vampire with humans in a family setting makes almost every interaction a hook, just because of the nature of it.
Osgood
Nina
Marin
Jim
1. Unseen man, nervous teen- why?
2. Jump to Duran Duran concert- Fun
3. Bam- Vampire story BUT bored and homeless
4. Interesting Vampire perspective and world, unique twists and perspectives on rules and norms.
5. Vampire trying to kill himself??
6. Someone dies in laundromat.
7. A vampire with a conscious?
8. Guy spiking drink caught by Nina (this is her intro) she is feisty and fearless. Stands up for women.
9. What is Osgood going to do to Nina?
10. Glimpse of other vampire characters and fun twists
11. What’s this family about? Curiosity about dynamics.
12. Parents trying to get rid of their daughter.
13. Would you rather situation…a stranger ? a serial killer? Over your daughter.
14. Why did Nina lie about therapist? Whats going on?
15. More unique vampire stuff , depression. A vampire going to therapy?
16. A vampire living with humans? Interviews.
17. Blood Osgood can’t smell?
18. A vampire fitting into a family.
19. Nina at the call center, why does her therapist have her doing that and why is she so upset after?
20. Funny chat with deer and owl
21. A vampire doing chores, and a standoff with Raccoons.
22. Halloween connection
23. Jim and Osgood at the movies and park
24. More issues with blood
25. A vampire handing out candy on Halloween
26. Mother and daughter tension(relatable)
27. Why is the nun collecting the blood?
28. More danger, a kidnap, a search, a chase
29. The confession
30. More issues with blood
31. The nuns save them
32. The sun is going to kill Osgood
-
DAY 8 FIND THE HOOKS MARCH 7 2022
BOB SMITH HAS LOTS OF HOOKS
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THISS ASSIGNMENT IS…?
Check for hooks. There are more of them than you think. Use them and enjoy them.
The lead character hooks
Emil Jannings: 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 17.
Marlene Dietrich: 1, 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
Josef von Sternberg: 3, 4, 9, 10.
THE HOOKS IN THE SCRIPT:
1. Marlene Dietrich is anti-Nazi, a U. S; citizen and entertains the troops even as they fight the German army.
2. Oscar-winning actor Emil Jannings in postwar Berlin, must explain why he appeared in Nazi propaganda films or face denazification and the end of his acting career.
3. Jannings is the star of “The Blue Angel” but fears he is being deposed from being star by the future sex siren, Marlene Dietrich.
4. Bi-sexual Marlene Dietrich is having an affair with her mentor and the film;s director Josef von Sternberg while she is married to and supports her husband, their child, and his mistress.
5. The world’s first Sexologist, Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld is an early day Dr. Ruth and predicts eventual Nazi rule.
6. In the event of a Nazi take-over, Jannings fears for his life because he has a Jewish mother.
7. To protect himself and family, Jannings agrees to do Nazi propaganda films for fear of reprisals if he refuses.
8. During Dietrich’s night on the town at Club Silhouette where she hosts Jannings, von Sternberg, and fellow cast members, veteran actors Kurt Gerron, and Hans Albers.
9. Jannings and Dietrich have a scene in which Jannings’ professor character, strangles Dietrich’s showgirl characters, but Jannings actually injures Dietrich.
10. Sternberg has to referee the feud between Jannings and Dietrich, who is his mistress.
11. Sternberg urges Dietrich and Jannings to put aside their differences and partner up for art to make “The Blue Angel” a classic.
12. Jannings and Dietrich reconcile.
13. Dietrich encourages Jannings to return to Hollywood.
14. Jannings and Dietrich finish the film with stellar performances which are strangely like the trajectories of their lives: Dietrich soars to stardom and Jannings’ career is ruined.
15. Jannings falls among Tinseltown’s biggest boozers (Lon Chaney, Jr. and Broderick Crawford) and ends up with them in an LAPD drunk tank.
16. Chaney tells Crawford about his Wolfman makeup, and Crawford says, “I’m sure it is an improvement for you, Lon!” and a fistfight between them ensues.
17. Crawford goes on to an Oscar.
18. Jannings eventually gets an Oscar for his role as an escaped Nazi war criminal in Egypt, thirty years after his first Oscar..
19. Nazi Brownshirts led by Ernst Rohm attack the Club Silhouette prompting Hirschfeld to predict inevitable Nazi takeover.
20. Ernst Rohm is executed which convinces Jannings that nobody in Nazi Germany is safe and to stay safe he must continue to do propaganda films and even campaign for the Nazi Party during the Reichstag elections of 1938.
-
Budinscak Has Lot of Hooks
Day 8
What I learned doing this assignment:
o Story and Character hooks drive your pitch.
o Hooks create curiosity for the reader/audience.
o Very interesting exercise. Tough to stay out of ‘edit’ mode while going through the script for hooks.
Characters:
Jack: 1, 2, 7, 24, 29, 34, 37, 41, 52, 65, 79, 91
Don Vito: 10, 11, 12, 21, 86, 87, 91
Puck: 4, 18, 43, 52, 64, 72, 85, 89, 96
Sal: 4, 17, 18, 42, 52, 85, 96
Hooks:
1- Jack, lead character, moves gracefully around the kitchen – he’s a natural.
2- Jack talks to a matronly portrait of his dead mother in the kitchen. He tells her stole money, but he’s going to do good with it. And he’s going to change for real this time … just one more job.
3- Jack slices a loaf of Italian bread in half with one spin of his knife. He stuffs a wad of cash inside.
4- Jack doesn’t hide his dislike for his nephews. Puck, a dweeb in a backpack and Sal, a sneaky little shit.
5- The kitchen radio switches from music to a news bulletin – a key informant against organized crime has disappeared.
6- Jack steps outside to the dumpster and watches a hearse unload a very active body bag. As Jack sneaks away, he steps on a cat’s tail – the cat’s scream alerts the men unloading the hearse.
7- Jack slides a saucer of milk outside for the cat.
8- The Bank Ride
9- Jack grabs the bread labeled ‘FH’ and heads to the funeral home across the parking lot where he meets Don Vito.
10- Don Vito, a snake’s snake, accuses Jack of seeing something he shouldn’t have outside (unloading of the body bag) and Jack denies it completely, even after Don Vito produces the milk saucer.
11- Don Vito accuses Jack of stealing from him, and Jack denies it completely.
12- Don Vito, aka ‘the Weatherman’, asks for a favor: Jack has to deliver a package for Don Vito and in return, Jack’s family’s restaurant won’t burn to the ground from a lightning strike.
13- After Jack accepts and leaves, Don Vito calls a number, “We have anther guest to the party. That makes four.”
14- The next morning, a special cooler is added to the trunk of Jack’s Cadillac.
15- Jack and his friend, Chick, question why Puck constantly wears a backpack.
16- Chick gives Jack drugs and a gun for the trip.
17- Sal convinces Puck to lie to their aunt so they can sneak a ride with their uncle to Atlantic City.
18- While in the funeral home, Sal convinces Puck to get in a casket – then closes the lid on him. Puck screams.
19- The boys hide in the back of the Cadillac.
20- Jack finds out he’s traveling to Burbank, CA and not to Atlantic City, NJ.
21- Subtly, Don Vito lets on he knows of Jack’s friend, LC.
22- Jack wakes up in his Cadillac in Terre Haute, IN and finds out he’s got company – Puck and Sal.
23- Meet Jack’s friend, Lincoln Clogs, LC.
24- Jack lays out the ground rules to his nephews – Jack’s in charge and there will be no questions.
25- Jack discusses his options with LC – leave the boys, drop them off at the bus terminal, take them with him.
26- LC gives Jack a tour of the business – PZN – Psychic Zealots Network – psychic readings over the phone for money.
27- Jack calls Don Vito as the Don requested. He tells Jack to stop by the Platinum restaurant
28- FBI shows up and sniffs around Carmine’s restaurant looking for Jack.
29- Jack and the boys pull into the Platinum restaurant and Jack shares his thoughts about how he knows the food isn’t very good here. The first of many lessons.
30- As the Caddy exits the Platinum parking lot, a man on a phone with “Love” and “Hate” tattoos on his fingers hangs up a phone, hops in a truck and follows Jack.
31- The boys fight in the back, Jack loses control of himself and his Caddy – pulled over by a state trooper. And Jack lies through his teeth.
32- The boys see a trucker on the road and wave for him to blow his horn. It’s then we see the tattoos on his hand and realize it’s someone following Jack, Puck and Sal.
33- The Caddy speeds up, the truck speeds up. Jack pulls off into rest stop.
34- Jack gets the boys something to eat in the rest stop, sprinkles drugs on their food to knock them out. He makes the sign of the cross and asks God forgiveness – “I won’t do that again …. Unless I really need to.
35- Jack pours ice into the cooler in the trunk and they’re on their way.
36- The boys sleep, Jack speeds up and passes a tractor trailer cab on the side of the road. When the Caddy passes, the driver hops in and follows Jack.
37- Jack notices the boys move back and forth when Jack weaves the Cadillac down the road – he does it on purpose.
38- Jack notices headlights in the rearview mirror keeping pace with his Cadillac. He speeds up, the headlights pick up speed. He slows down, the vehicle behind maintains its distance.
39- Jack pulls into a rest stop, checks on the boys – they sleep – grabs his gun and gets out of the car. He stays in the shadows looking for the vehicle that tails him.
40- Jack swaps his license plate with another vehicle and gets back on the road.
41- Jack drives on the shoulder of the road bouncing the Caddy around and waking up the boys. They pull into a truck stop in Oklahoma City.
42- Jack, Puck and Sal eat, then Jack heads outside looking for the vehicle following them.
43- The boys go to the bathroom and a trucker traps Puck in a bathroom stall. Sal runs to get Uncle Jack.
44- Jack confronts and subdues the trucker leaving the man bloodied on the bathroom.
45- Sal makes a comment about the waitress and Jack doesn’t like it. Another lesson taught.
46- Jack and the boys leave the truck stop and exit in their Cadillac. A van follows – the driver’s “Love” & “Hate” hand tattoos are visible.
47- In the Caddy, Jack stops Sal right before he does something mean to Puck. Jack has Sal jump in the front seat and teaches him a recipe.
48- As the Cadillac rolls down the road, Jack teaches Sal a trick to remember recipes. Not far behind, a van keeps pace running dark (no headlights) and silent.
49- Jack again notices vehicle following. Pulls off road and waits – nothing.
50- Jack pulls in rest area with boys asleep, parks in secluded area and grabs his gun. Jack searches for vehicle following him and finds it – empty.
51- Jack scrambles back to his Caddy – empty. A twig snaps, Jack stays in the shadows and draws his weapon – it’s the boys.
52- Jack screams at Sal and Puck for leaving the car. The boys break down, Puck whimpers – Jack goes off. He pulls over, jumps out and apologizes … kinda.
53- Jack checks in from Amarillo, but lies to Cat that he’s in Atlantic City. She wants to speak with the boys, he says they’re in the shower. She questions, he hangs up.
54- FBI says they’re rendezvousing in Vegas and pursuing Jack.
55- Jack teaches the boys a car game – R T B – Rate That Babe. A fun lesson for the boys.
56- On the way to Vegas, Jack and Puck play a driving game – Jack pretends to sleep and Puck steers the Caddy.
57- Sal spots a helicopter above the Caddy – Jack pulls off into a rest area. Jack swaps license plates.
58- The vehicle shadowing them pulls in as well. The tattooed driver subtly swaps keys with another individual – and he enters a flat bed tow truck.
59- Jack pulls into the back of a large parking lot in Las Vegas and falls asleep. The tow truck parks away, but in line of sight for its driver.
60- They enter Las Vegas and meet Jack’s Cadillac’s doppelganger.
61- Inside their hotel, they meet Julio, LC’s friend and singer in a knock-off band.
62- Jack buys the boys cloths and tries to sneak them in the casino – they’re tossed before they enter.
63- The trio head to Circus Circus, the boys ‘gamble’ upstairs, Jack gambles downstairs. The boys win, Jack loses.
64- The boys win ‘diamond’ rings and offer it to their uncle to help with expenses. The move hits Jack in the heart – he melts a little.
65- Jack tells the boys how Chick got his nickname and determines the boys have never seen a naked lady – he orders one for the room. The boys hide in the closet.
66- The lady arrives and undresses when there’s a knock at the door. The door bursts open – FBI.
67- The woman flees, the FBI shakes down Jack even stealing the rest of Jack’s money – and Puck records everything hiding in the closet.
68- Flat broke, Jack devises a plan to get cash – rob the wedding where Julio’s band plays. Another lesson for the boys, but not a good one.
69- The concierge sends the FBI on a goose chase following the doppelganger Caddy. The FBI misses Jack, Puck and Sal wearing blond afro wigs sitting in the lobby.
70- Jack loads dry ice in the cooler before Jack’s Caddy sneaks out in a different direction. It’s followed by the flatbed tow truck.
71- The FBI overtakes the wrong Cadillac and find they’ve been misled. They take over a helicopter and fly off to the route to Burbank.
72- Jack and the boys get in an argument about why Jack dislikes them – it’s the Bank Ride says Puck.
73- Flashback to the Bank Ride.
74- The dry ice melts and CO permeates the Caddy’s interior. It knocks everyone out.
75- Puck and Sal imagine themselves as cowboys riding galloping horses in the desert. That’s what it feels like as the Caddy rides the road’s shoulder and bounces all around.
76- The flatbed tow truck pulls alongside the Caddy and the driver sees everyone passed out. Up ahead, a steep embankment.
77- The tow truck slams into the Caddy and jostles Jack’s foot off the gas. The truck hits the front of the Cadillac causing it to roll to a stop.
78- Jack awakens as the tow truck driver pulls him free. The driver was sent by LC to be Jack’s guardian angel.
79- The boys are still knocked out and Jack looks to the sky and promises to be a the best version of himself …. And Sal stirs. Jack tries to take it back.
80- Jack goes through Puck’s backpack and finds the recording device. He listens and hears the FBI’s confession. He kisses the forehead of the still passed out Puck.
81- The Caddy is loaded on the tow truck and covered with a tarp. They evade the FBI commandeered helicopter.
82- The flatbed rolls into Hollywood. Jack and the boys take in famous sites before arriving at their destination – another funeral home owned by a brother of Don Vito.
83- The ice cream containers are brought to a dark room with 4 chairs. A headless mannequin sits in one of the chairs.
84- Jack and the boys are separated. A Don Vito henchman leads the boys by the casket display room.
85- Puck bets Sal the henchman couldn’t squeeze in a casket, the goon says he can. He takes off his jacket and hands the boys his gun before he slips in the coffin. Puck closes the lid, Sal locks it.
86- Don Vito tells Jack his cargo was a macguffin – a dummy container, a ruse to draw the FBI to Burbank.
87- The FBI are caught outside and brought to the room. All the chairs are now filled – Don Vito oozes confidence during his rant. He tells Jack he lied and is going to burn Carmine’s to the ground.
88- The boys hear a noise and hide in the display room. Angel finds them and the sneak to the room with their uncle.
89- Sal diverts Don Vito’s attention as Puck comes in a different door in the room. He tells the Don that “this is about me, my cousin and my uncle – it’s about family.
90- Before any of Don Vito’s goons can pull their weapons, Angel enters and loads a slug into his shotgun. Everyone stops immediately.
91- The bad guys are led to the casket display room and locked in caskets. Don Vito asks Jack for forgiveness. Jack punches the old man in the face and knocks him out.
92- Jack leaves the recording of the FBI’s confession on top of the casket and calls the police. He fires a weapon to get LAPD there quicker.
93- Angel takes Jack and the boys to LAX. Jack tells Angel to keep the Caddy – it’s yours. My tip for your services.
94- Jack, Puck and Sal take a redeye to JFK
95- The trio sleep on benches outside the gate of Puck and Sal’s moms. The mothers find their kids.
96- Jack drives a Lincoln and his sisters (Sal’s mom and Puck’s mom) ask where’s the Caddy – Jack spins a tale. The mothers question Jack, but the boys cover for him.
97- The mothers notice a change in their sons, but Jack admits to nothing.
98- When the arrive home, the fire department is at Carmine’s. A lightning strike hit the restaurant, but nothing happened.
99- Cat runs out to take a picture for the wall and snaps one of Puck and Sal looking adoringly at their uncle. “Where’s your Caddy?” Jack – “it’s a long story I’ll bore you with sometime.”
100- The picture goes from 1988 to present and everyone is there. Jack has told the story of the Atlantic City Trip.
101- Everyone goes outside and it’s a big party, a RE-union and it’s year 30+.
102- Everyone in the movie is at the party and everyone has a great time.
103- The last thing you see and hear – the boys saluting their uncle with Circus Circus shot glasses – and Jack telling Puck and Sal that he loves them.
104- As the credits roll, “FIB Cleaning” comes in to pick up the mess from the reunion. It’s the disgraced FBI guys – Jack pays them with cash in a paper bag – “just like old times”.
-
Elizabeth has Lots of Hooks”
What I learned doing this assignment is that brainstorming this gives me many more ideas for how to craft a query. Well, and transferring my Word doc bullet points doesn’t work.
· Unique:
Ø Sex/love/vibrancy-work/joy/celebration at a nursing home with variously-abled
Ø Don doing some fantastic fix of some electronic thing from a wheelchair with an arm that doesn’t work well
Ø Ed is insanely CONTROLLING—of himself only, including unto death (his coffin bed)
Ø Christopher is a football star who loves ballet
Ø Jewels’ schizotypal/metaphysical and ‘60’s-70’s shine’
Ø Grace and Mike’s fights that turn on a dime
· Special:
Ø Judy and Walt’s astonishing 60 year-love (how do they do it?)
Ø Demented lady who dances exquisitely
Ø Kristian’s pure joy
Ø How everyone can work, love and… together
· Surprising:
Ø Pat-70’s biker chick with ADHD – unabashedly sexual, chaotic and energetic
Ø Ed looks too young for this crowd. Gets in a coffin bed
Ø Eligible women ogling, coming on to Ed in vibrant/sexual ways
Ø Grace and Mike have a 17 year old
Ø Mark’s only been in Grace’s life for 2 weeks
Ø Christopher suddenly ballet-lifts another player
Ø Pushing the sex/love envelopes throughout in unusual ways
Ø Ed was never married to Susan and had just “hooked back up” with her
Ø Ed’s a former addict
· Shocking
Ø Grace wants to get married in a graveyard
Ø Ed’s Mark’s father from “heavy petting” as a teen
Ø Christopher quits at half-time when his D1 scouts are watching
Ø Mark dies. Then we learn he was dying of cancer
Ø How quickly/severely Ed gets ‘off the wagon’—and the trauma of his addict Father’s death that is behind this
Ø
· Intriguing:
Ø Ed is a Freud Doppelgänger
Ø Ed meets a woman who is the doppelgänger of the woman in his picture (his life’s love)
Ø Christopher can’t get out of bed. But he’s a popular football star
Ø Christopher is a doppelgänger of Ed
Ø Jewels seems to resonate with the Universe—knows things Ed does not. And Knows she knows.
Ø
· Interesting/Strange/Fascinating
Ø All of the weirdness of Freud throughout
Ø All the weirdness of Jewels and how this weirdness can marry with Freud’s
· Entertaining/Fun:
Ø Grace’s choir kids performing as Mike and Grace’s fight reveals details of their elaborate sex lives
Ø Christopher’s Dance Mob
Ø Acid rock wedding music/dance fest
Ø Chaos of Grace’s family – and how it pushes Ed to grow
Ø 60’s/70’s ‘play’
Ø Ed escapes to his room, his car, the bottom of the pool
Ø Old dudes look exactly like the young ones around the strip tease scene
Ø Jewels ‘conducts’ the chaos
#2 Character assignments as described above.
-
Jodi has Lots of Hooks” – Day 8
I listed what I think are the hooks. It was a good exercise in learning how to drill down to the highlights, and what turned out to be some of the most important parts of the script.
Lead Characters:
Pam Karras: 2, 7, 12
Elizabeth Bailey: 13
Chad Babbitt, Governor: 11, 17, 18
1. A young teen is stalked for the 10k price on her head when she walks out of the state regulated reproductive clinic.
2. Our lead character, Pam, takes it upon herself to fight against the attacks on women’s civil rights and the stripping of their freedom of choice.
3.. Pam has to fight the power structure that has recently been embedded in the Police department to be granted valid forensic investigations. Where does it stem from? Why are her hands tied when it comes to investigating crimes against women?
4. Another lead character, Elizabeth, is up against the same wall when she tries to find answers to her Daughter’s death and why is she being virtually ignored by the Police Department.
5. Pam and her husband Elias find imbalances of state financial help for women forced to bring babies to term. Where are the state funds going if not to needy, impoverished families?
6. Veronica, a college bound young lady finds out she is pregnant. Will she have to go it alone or will her boyfriend step up as a man and share her new burden in this state that bans abortion.
7. Pam’s Father, a religious man, says “We’ll pray for these young ladies, but it is God’s will”. Pam is furious at her Father’s lack of dealing with the new reality these women are forced to live in this state that attacks a woman’s right to choose what happens to their own bodies.
8. The old way of housing unwanted children; Orphanages, has circled back around again to becoming the new way of housing, as there aren’t enough private homes to provide for all the parentless children. The foster system is overburdened and busting at the seams.
9. Pam goes to a child’s protection home where eleven and twelve year old girls are housed who are pregnant and are also mandated by the state to full term. These babies were impregnated mostly by their dads, some from brothers, uncles, family ‘friends’.
10. Chad, the Governor is related to Crusher, the Bounty Hunter, who killed the young teen.
11. As misogynistic and controlling as the Governor is about banning abortion of all women, his Daughter finds herself in the situation of needing one.
12. The attacks and financial devastation the Governor and his cohorts have caused women, brings Pam to declare she will run against him in the next election. Now she has to get over her stage fright.
13. In order to save herself and feel she has found some justice for her dead Daughter, Elizabeth starts a well-organized stalking ring attacking Bounty Hunters.
14. Pam has her Daughter help her build a website to organize funding and help women get abortions in other states.
15. Veronica’s Mom is sued by her next door neighbor, a Bounty Hunter for 10k, when she tries to help her Daughter get an abortion.
16. Veronica is arrested for having an abortion in another state. The charge: Murder. Which brings the death penalty.
17. A newscaster relays the execution of another death row inmate in their state, this makes 50 ‘heartbeats’ killed since 2015 on the Governor’s watch. The Governor proves himself a double-speak hypocrite. It is clearly fear of white males losing their power to women that brings him and his legislators to reduce women to be third class citizens to be ruled over…no longer equals. It is all about assaulting women and taking away their power and dehumanizing them. The waged war on women.
18.
Taking cues out of the defeated Trump’s playbook, the Governor does
everything he can to keep his power, but as the same with Trump, the truth
proves him a liar. Pam wins the
election for the Governorship and begins to reverse the nightmare of this war
on women.
Log in to reply.