-
Day 8 Assignments
Reply to post your work.
-
12 Replies
-
Day Eight – The “story Logic Web” – Assignment
Mike O – Pass 2: Story Logic Web
1. What I learned doing this assignment is…. The parts are interconnected and examining them and comparing and contrasting the various elements allows you to radically alter, examine and change a script before you have invested time and energy into the writing of it.
STEP 2. BEFORE:
Concept = A daughter, struggling-to-keep-it-together, having lost her mother earlier in the year, has to deal with her estranged father’s estate. Forced from her shell, from burying herself in her work and hiding from the real world, she must face the real world head on.
Lead Characters =
Protagonist: Brooklyn: the artist who has to take care of her father’s estate.
Antagonist: Richard – the crooked Art Gallery GM, who steals paintingsPlot/Structure = #12 Transformation
SUMMARY: Brooklyn, a painter on the cusp of making it big, learns her estranged father has passed. Having lost her mother earlier in the year, she realizes she is an orphan. As executor of her father’s estate, Brooklyn must set aside her compulsion to paint and give up her routine. Forced from her shell, she travels from Chicago to a small mountain town in Colorado. This transforming incident forces Brooklyn to see people living life in a far more relaxed and open manner. While going through her father’s belongings, she discovers the truth about her parent’s divorce: learns that her mother’s deception kept her and her father apart. Seeing her parents in a new light, forces Brooklyn to accept the posthumous love of a man she dearly loved as a little girl. At a crossroad, Brooklyn reevaluates her life and the priorities she’s been hiding behind. Brooklyn finds love standing on her father’s porch step. In for the holidays, a handsome stranger with two, young, boys comes bearing Christmas gifts, unaware Brooklyn’s father, has died.
List all 9 beats of your structure.
1. Opening – Protagonist is a painter on the cusp of being “discovered” You get the flavor of the movie.
2. Inciting Incident – Protagonist receives a certified letter that her estranged father has passed and she is the executor of his estate.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. Yes. Protagonist must leave her “life” travel across country, and take care of her father’s estate.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 – Protagonist discovers who her father really was. He was not poor and he did not abandon her as the protagonist’s mother told her. Her father was wealthy, he loved her and kept tabs on her over the years.
5. Mid-Point – Protagonist is trying to tie up her father’s estate, learns her father’s GM is trying to steal her father’s art gallery. She sees the antagonist for what he really is. This twist reveals the fact they are both after the same goal – the art gallery. Protagonist because it’s her legacy, her connection to her father; antagonist because he has worked hard for ten years and expects the place to be his.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2 – protagonist realizes she cannot reason with the antagonist. She changes tactics, uses a lawyer to prevent the general manager from stealing her father’s art gallery.
7. Crisis – Protagonist, in addition to using a lawyer to prevent the General Manager from stealing her father’s art gallery, has to deal with her love interest who has a medical emergency and is rushed to the ER.
8. Climax – The protagonist and antagonist come face to face literally at the art gallery. He has stolen a number of expensive paintings and replaced them with no-name works. The protagonist has proof, has photos of the paintings that are missing and a hidden camera that captured the antagonist stealing the paintings.
9. Resolution – The protagonist accepts what happened, embraces her father’s posthumous love and decides to live there, where it feels real with her newfound love.
Character Arc = Brooklyn’s growth a. Part to be changed: Brooklyn’s inability to live her own life.
b. Biggest fear: Brooklyn’s fear of change, of facing people and life head on.
c. Completion of arc: Brooklyn moves to a strange new town, falls in love and gets married.Main Conflict = Brooklyn has to accept loss as a part of life and accept change is unstoppable.
Dramatic Question = Will Brooklyn be ready for true love when she is comes face to face with it.
Dilemma = Will Brooklyn return to her old life, or will she embrace what she has found in Wintergreen.
Theme = Love and loss are two sides of the same coin and both are unavoidable.
STEP 3. DISCOVERIES & IMPROVEMENTS: While Step 2 was about working with a single component at a time, Step 3 is about seeing how different components work together and/or testing components against each other. Start with the most extreme component and pit it against the others one at a time to see where it causes you to have an insight into your story.
If the Dramatic Question is will Brooklyn be ready for true love when she is comes face to face with it. Then throughout the story, Brooklyn will be doing everything in her power (subconsciously) to avoid or sabotage love as she is unable to accept loss as a part of life and that change is unstoppable. (Main Conflict). This would include the lucrative offer from a rich patron back in Chicago. It would make the Dilemma: return to her old life or start a new life more powerful.
-
Anita Gomez’s Character Outline – (Day 8 of Seducing Actors Module)
What I learned doing this assignment: If I don’t stray from my character’s core traits it is easier to differentiate their unique voices.
ASSIGNMENT 1
———————–
On Day 5, you created a Character Arc by adding “Issue, Challenges, and Transformation” to your structure. If you haven’t done it yet, return to your Day 5 assignment and add the Character Arc parts you like to your outline.
(Character Arc changes noted below, in Italics.)
ASSIGNMENT 2
———————–
Add character to each scene in your outline. For your two lead characters, look at each scene they are in and see how something from their profile might play through their actions.
1. Pull out your Lead Character Profiles and your Outline.
2. With each scene, ask the following questions:
– What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
– What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
3. Rewrite the main actions of each scene to deliver character.
UPDATED OUTLINE FOR ‘LIFE CHOICES’
(Profile changes noted below in RED)
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>HOSPITAL</st1:placetype></st1:place> – NIGHT
(Flash-forward) A woman is in the throes of childbirth. It isn’t going well, and we hear from the doctors that she could die.
INT. LAW OFFICES – NIGHT
(Flashback 7 months):
CAREER-ORIENTED / STAUNCHLY INDEPENDENT: Danica confronts senior law partner (Cyrus) that she is pregnant and past the 6 weeks allowable for an abortion – a law he was instrumental in crafting.
IMAGE CONSCIOUS / HYPOCRITE: He wants her to have an abortion anyway to protect his marriage, family and career.
SELF-ASSURED / INDEPENDENT: She quits but remains professional until the very end when she slams the door in her face.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY
SUCCESS-ORIENTED / DRIVEN: Danica confides in her Evangelical sister that she doesn’t want this child and fears for her health, having been born with only 1 kidney.
RELIGIOUS: The sister guilt-trips her / tells her all life is precious and “she’ll grow to love the child”.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>CATHOLIC</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>CHURCH</st1:placetype></st1:place> – THAT NIGHT
INDEPENDENT / LONER: Danica is praying in an empty church for guidance. She gets no answer.
EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Danica flees the state driving to <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:state w:st=”on”>Louisiana</st1:state></st1:place> where the abortion laws are more accessible.
INT. REBECCA’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING
RELIGIOUS: She is hosting a women’s prayer group. At the end of the Bible lesson Rebecca asks for prayer requests… and asks for prayer for her sister who is facing “some difficult decisions.”
INT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Danica is confronted by religious anti-abortion protestors and finds she can’t go through with the abortion.
INT. DANICA’S NEW LAW OFFICES – DAY
DRIVEN: She has thrown herself into work and is in denial that she is even pregnant, brushing off any coworkers comments about her working so many hours in her condition.
INT. DANICA’s NEW APARTMENT – NIGHT
SELFISH / HYPER-COMPETITIVE: Her place is not set up for a baby…. No nursery or sign of impending motherhood. She is hugely pregnant and working late on her new state bar exams.
SUCCESS-ORIENTED: Suddenly Danica goes into labor, and doesn’t even understand that’s what is happening, she is in so much denial.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>HOSPITAL</st1:placetype></st1:place> – NIGHT
SELFISH: Back at the opening scene of a wretched birthing experience, Danica regains consciousness and told the infant was born with the mother’s genetic defect of having only one kidney. Danica emotionally rejects the infant.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>HOSPITAL</st1:placetype></st1:place> – LATER
SELFISH / DRIVEN: Danica physically rejects her newborn telling the nurse, “Not all of us are born mothers. I want pills to dry up my milk” but the nurse just thinks this is post-partum depression.
INT. DANICA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
SELFISH / UNABLE TO LOVE: Her newborn is in her car seat on the sofa screaming and nothing Danica does can make it stop. Danica starts screaming back at the baby to ‘Shut Up!”
EXT. FIRE STATION – NIGHT
SELFISH / UNABLE TO LOVE: Danica abandons her newborn daughter at a “Safe Haven” firehouse telling the child, “I never wanted you” leaving a note, “Her name is Dianna”. A fireman tries to “talk her down saying she can adapt her out” but Danica just screams, “No one is listening! I can’t do this…” and she runs away.
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>TEXAS HIGHWAY</st1:address></st1:street> – DAY
NARCISSIST / HYPOCRITE: Giant billboards picture Cyrus running for a Judgeship with politically motivated anti-abortion statements seen with his smiling wife and 2 young children.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
CRAVES ATTENTION / POWER: Partners congratulate Cyrus on his election win as a state Judge.
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
CRAVES POWER / CHARMING: Cyrus is presiding over an adoption proceeding unbeknownst to him that it is Dianna, his biological daughter from Danica, who is being adopted in the city where he lives.
INT. DIANNA’S ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOME – DAY
Dianna is a beautiful baby, exuding shiny and bright promises for her new doting parents. They tell her how much they’ve always wanted a child.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
SUCCESS-ORIENTED: Danica coldly and with ambition climbs the professional ladder becoming a full partner in a prestigious <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Louisiana</st1:place></st1:state> law firm: “You’re one of the boys now”.
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>LOUISIANA STREET</st1:address></st1:street> – DAY
DRIVEN: Danica is a marathon participant – it’s obvious she has entered many before.
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Cyrus gains the reputation as a conservative hard-ass, making harsh anti-abortion decisions from the bench – as noted by a case about a young girl seeking a judicial bypass from parental consent for an abortion, which he denies because of her “grades”.
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE
CRUEL: Dianna has grown into a beautiful and precocious young girl – but with a cruel streak that her adoptive parents excuse as ‘accidental’. (perhaps age 7. burning ants with a magnifying glass)
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EVENING
Narcissistic Cyrus interacts with his two pre-teen kids in a fatherly but distracted and distant way deferring the kids’ needs to his wife. (Maybe his son also displays undercurrents of Dianna’s cruelty, as a genetic ‘marker’)
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE
CRUEL: The mother comes home distraught to find Dianna (about age 11) calmly watching gruesome horror movies.
INT. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS – DAY
POWER-HUNGRY: Cyrus, now older, has receives notice of his appointment to Regional Circuit Judge, which will put him once again in Danica’s professional orbit.
EXT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EARLY NEXT MORNING
In his habitual practice to retrieve his newspaper outside the gates of his ‘McMansion’, and while gloating over the headlines announcing his Judgeship, a car passes too close bobbling his coffee onto his pajamas and robe (foreshadowing).
EXT. DIANNA’S PARENT HOUSE – EXT
They congratulate her on getting her driver’s permit as she drives off. Dianna drives around and comes to the block where Cyrus lives driving slowly enough for us to recognize his house from earlier.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL BLEACHERS – NIGHT
CRUEL / SOCIOPATH: At the Homecoming game Dianna surreptitiously lures the school mascot (a bulldog) under the bleachers feeding it something that causes seizures as she coolly observes.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY
CRUEL / SOCIOPATH: There is a Psychologist present explaining to Dianna’s parents they believe it was Dianna who harmed (but thankfully did not kill) the school mascot, and further believe her to be a Vulnerable Narcisist with Alexithymia – a term to describe problems with feeling emotions… not their fault as good parents – it is often a genetic trait.
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
MANIPULATIVE: Dianna’s parents confront her about her emotional detachment. She tells them not to worry – she really wants to help others, and has decided to go into genetic research because of her own anatomical anomaly to uncover others with kidney deficiency (which she later discovers includes her biological mother and Aunt).
EXT. UNIVERSITY GROUNDS – DAY
DRIVEN: Dianna graduates college early and is offered a prestigious job as a medical researcher in genetics to study disease outcomes along the lines of “Nurture vs. Nature” with a big $$ Grant.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
DRIVEN / COLD: Dianna displays the same cold ambition as her biological mother, exemplified by dispassionate experimentation and dissection of animals in the lab, and how her co-workers whisper behind her back about her cold detachment. One coworker (a guy) stands up for her – and later becomes her boyfriend.
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
JEALOUS OF HER SISTER: Danica is shopping last minute for Christmas for her niece. Sad and pensive, brooding about the child she gave away, she cluelessly selects a board game.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
JEALOUS OF HER SISTER: Danica visits for Christmas and while the rest of the family has fun at game night she only observes – her gift obviously out-of-touch with the kids ages and electronic desires. The sister leaves, hiding from them all she has serious back pain.
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – CHRISTMAS DAY
CHARMING: Cyrus’s wife gives the family each a genetic DNA kit as gifts. Cyrus looks nervous but agrees to take the test.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
PATHOLOGICALLY DEVOID OF EMOTION: Dianna is in bed with her boyfriend. Sex for her is nothing more than a cold biological function.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
MANIPULATIVE: Dianna seeks out and discovers the true identity of both her biological parents by doing DNA testing on herself and accessing the lab’s confidential files.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOUSE – DAY
JEALOUS OF HER SISTER:Another wistful visit while Danica catches a TV commercial about Cyrus running for re-election as Judge, all about “family values” – his platform is anti-abortion and he calls women ‘host bodies’ – Danica is disgusted at his hypocrisy.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – DAY
PATHOLOGICALLY DEVOID OF EMOTION: Dianna holds a home pregnancy test strip showing “positive” but she has absolutely no emotional reaction to this and carelessly tosses it in the garbage.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT
PATHOLOGICALLY DEVOID OF EMOTION: Her boyfriend finds the discarded positive pregnancy test and confronts Dianna. She shrugs and tells him “she already took care of that.”
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
PATHOLOGICALLY DEVOID OF EMOTION: Exemplifying her pathological inability to connect with people, her boyfriend accuses Dianna of aborting their child without even consulting him, and of cold-blooded murder. Dianna just throws him out.
INT. JUDGE CYRUS’ CHAMBERS – DAY
CRAVES POWER / RECOGNITION: Cyrus meets with anti-abortion lobbyists and agrees to be considered as an appointee for The 5<sup>th</sup> Circuit Chief Judge. His motivations are purely for power and political gain.
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>SUBURBAN STREET</st1:address></st1:street> – DAY
DRIVEN / COMPETITIVE: Danica is a compulsive marathon runner and begins to show signs of health issues.
INT. DANICA’S HOUSE – DAY
CHARACTER ARC CHANGES FROM SELFISH TO EMPATHETIC: She receives news of her sister’s death from kidney failure.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY
CHARACTER ARC CHANGES, CONT.: Danica meets with her brother-in-law, niece and nephew but is unsure of how to give them solace.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
CHARACTER ARC CHANGES, CONT.: Danica sees her own doctor and is told she too has kidney disease, and must have a transplant to survive. She is told all the medical reasons why her best chance for survival is a close relative.
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>SUBURBAN STREET</st1:address></st1:street> – NEXT DAY
DRIVEN / COMPETITIVE: Danica finds she doesn’t have the strength to run that day.
INT. DANICA’s HOUSE – NIGHT
CHARACTER ARC CHANGES, CONT.: She begins seeking out her daughter’s whereabouts online but we are unsure of her motive – is it for a kidney or a relationship?
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
MANIPULATIVE: Dianna reads about her Aunt’s death online and studying her own mother’s DNA health markers realizes Danica is also likely to die of kidney disease without a transplant. We see Dianna go to Cyrus’s DNA results on the computer but not what she finds.
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – NIGHT
WORKAHOLIC / NARCISSIST: Cyrus announces to his wife that he’s been appointed to the 5<sup>th</sup> Circuit Court of Appeals, located in <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New Orleans</st1:place></st1:city>. She tells him the results of the family DNA tests uncovered a grown child out of wedlock (Dianna) and she will be leaving him.
Cyrus is shocked to learn the child was not aborted.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Danica must prepare for arguments against restricting abortions in the state of LA. She is shaken to learn that the father of her abandoned child (Cyrus) will be the appointed Circuit Appeals Judge.
INT. DANICA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
CHARACTER ARC CHANGES, CONT.: She goes on a concentrated online search for Dianna, the daughter (and using the DNA genetic app previously seen used by Cyrus’s family), finds her. Dianna is a shocking spitting image of her mother.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
CHARACTER ARC CHANGES, CONT.: Danica can’t concentrate on work. She finally contacts Dianna by email, not disclosing who she is – only a ‘close relative’. Danica has no idea Dianna already knows who she is.
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
The anti-abortionist broad theoretical arguments for new restrictive legislation includes “sanctity of life” comments, and how they must “protect the unborn” and “what if that little baby is the next president?” // “Even women who have been raped should be inspired because ‘God put them in this moment’, // “Life begins when DNA is created”, etc.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Danica is preparing for her arguments the next day but flailing, getting bogged down by all the statistics coming out of TX since they passed their “Heartbeat Act” and how it has impacted LA, etc. Her superior calls her out…. “What’s wrong with you?”
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Danica’s passionate in her counter- arguments against restricting abortion rights: “What if that next baby is another Hitler or Putin?” // “The state should never be allowed to compel victims of sexual violence to carry an unwanted child.” // “Not everyone’s cut out to be a parent. Not everyone SHOULD be a parent… not every child should be born into a life of pain and suffering – because of physical defects or into poverty…” All while Cyrus just sits there smirking at her. Danica collapses – both mentally and physically.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
MANIPULATIVE: Dianna receives Danica’s email and suggests they meet early the next morning at Dianna’s prompting, who makes all the arrangements.
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>SUBURBAN STREET</st1:address></st1:street> – EARLY MORNING
SOCIOPATH: Dianna drives to the early morning appointment she set to meet her mother. We see a man bending over outside his ‘McMansion’ gates to get the morning paper – we recognize him as Cyrus. Brakes Squeal. Blackout.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Eyes blink open to a hospital room. Wincing in pain Danica walks to a mirror realizing she has gotten her transplant, but looks confused. Her daughter, Dianna walks in and turns the TV news up reporting on the tragic death of Circuit Appeals Court Judge Cyrus at his home that morning. Dianna says, “Well, at least he did one thing right in his life – he signed up as an organ donor.”
NOTE: It appears that neither my changes made in Italics nor in red highlights translated over in a cut/paste action – but trust me, the changes have been made! 😉
-
Dev Ross – Translated Characters
What I learned from doing this lesson is where traits, secrets, and flaws color character in such a way to make them truly multi-faceted.
1.EXT. SPACE – ON MULTI-UNIVERSES
Per String Theory, multiple strands of alternate universes exist side by side.
PUSH IN ON TWO STRANDS: Both show the signs of extreme climate events and are both slowly disintegrating with tendrils from each drifting into the opposite strand.
PUSH INTO ONE STRAND, THEN INTO its Earth’s atmosphere, into the United States, into…
2. EXT. FAIR GROUNDS – WHITE SUPREMACIST RALLY – SUMMER DAY
Fearful/Prideful
Amid increasing climate events, KKK Grand Dragon CLAY CAINE speaks at White Supremacist event. When booed off stage as a SINO (Supremacist in Name Only), he’s so caught off guard, he trips. Catching him as he comes up to speak is the hot new ticket in the hate game, ADAM SPENCER.
3. EXT. STRANDS – CONTINUOUS
PUSH INTO second strand.
4. EXT. FAIR GROUNDS – GET OUT THE VOTE RALLY – DAY
Passionate/Impatient
Amid increasing climate events, Black Leader LINCOLN ABLE is intro’d to an adoring crowd of blacks and whites. When he attempts to speak, the crowd still cheers. With good humor, he scolds them to quiet down – bringing out the teacher in him.
5. EXT. SPACE – ON TWO STRANDS
ZOOM into first strand.
2. INT. CAINE HOME – DINING ROOM – EVENING
Prideful/Self-righteous
Clay’s wife, HANNAH, a nurse, demurely suggests it’s time to leave Klan to focus on family. Clay erupts with a Bible-ish quote about self-sacrifice: “I give to the Lord. This family gives to the Lord. We give what he requires to further HIS work!” Daughter, EMMY, excuses herself to meet a boyfriend she remains secretive about.
3. INT. CAINE HOME – TV ROOM – NIGHT
Self-righteous
Clay changes the news channel from ‘bullshit climate change’ to coverage on WS rally: “Jews will not convert us! Blacks will not pervert us!” Shakes his head, this is not the way to bring the change they want. He vows to work even harder.
4. INT. CAINE’S BATHROOM – NIGHT
Religious/A believer
He brushes his teeth. Stops to gaze at his reflection; FLASHBACKS to…
5. EXT. KLAN RALLY – NIGHT – FLASHBACK
Clay’s grandfather, Grand Dragon AUGUST ABLE gives a wickedly ‘patriotic’ speech filled with fiery biblical references to shouted praises. A cross burns as a mesmerized seven-year-old Clay, dressed in Klan robe, watches.
6. INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Fearful
Clay prays for a sign from God to tell him how to regain his former influence to stop the rising tide of Godless liberalism.
8. EXT. JOB SITE – DAY
Be admired
Clay house paints. The homeowner, an elderly woman, asks if he’d be willing to mentor/apprentice her twelve-year-old grandson who’s coming to live with her. Clay quotes Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
9. EXT. CLAY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Odd, disturbing weather outside. Tendrils of float across the sky. O.S. news pundits blame the phenomena on the Chinese while climate scientists beg to differ.
10. INT. CLAY’S BASEMENT – KKK MEETING – CONTINUOUS
Love me
Clay reminds dwindling KKK members that their members used to be respectable doctors, lawyers and politicians who were gentleman first, Christian men with integrity, not wild-eyed terrorists. He asks if they trust him? Yes. Will they follow him? Yes!
11. EXT. HOUSE PAINTING JOB SITE – DAY
Prideful/Self-righteous
The elderly woman introduces her half black grandson, ELIJAH, to Clay. Clay refuses to mentor the boy as God prohibits race mixing. Saying she knows more than he thinks, she leaves the boy with him. Clay trembles as if he’s going to stumble again…Recoups.
Clay, on edge, insists Elijah will have to work much harder than others to be decent. Elijah insists he will, doesn’t want to be like his father. Clay relates…
14. INT. CLAY’S CHILDHOOD HOME – DAY – FLASHBACK
Behind closed door, Clay’s father beats his wife while young Clay and his sister play inside a suitcase with female clothing strewn about.
15. INT. CLAY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Fearful of being seen as ‘less than.’
Clay can’t get it up. Makes excuses. It’s his work. She’s tired of his excuses. It escalates – a lot — until — shouts of “Nigger lovers” come from outside.
16. EXT. CLAY’S HOME – NIGHT
Fear of being seen as weak
Trucks flying Confederate flags screech away. A cross burns on Clay’s lawn. Effigy hangs with sign “Nigger Lovers.”
17. EXT. CLAY’S HOME – MORNING
Emmy knocks on the door, wants to know if her parents are okay.
18. INT. CLAY’S HOME – CONTINUOUS
Self-righteous
Emmy admits the cross burning is her fault. Discloses she’s pregnant with a black baby. Clay freaks, disowns her, kicks her out.
19. EXT. CLAY’S HOME – CONTINOUS
Mother and daughter touch palms through front window.
20. INT. CLAY’S HOME – LATER
Fear of being seen as weak/defensive
Hannah’s leaving for work, comments on how successful Black Leader LINCOLN ABLE is. Clay takes her comments as a dig. Hannah insists it’s not that. Times are changing, maybe he should too. He blocks her out, refuses to relent his position.
21. EXT. HOUSE PAINTING JOB – DAY
Love me
A violent wind blows over the ladder which knocks over the paint before Elijah can right it. The boy covers his head to block the blows he knows are coming. Clay freezes, remembers…
22. INT. CLAY’S CHILDHOOD HOME – FLASHBACK – DAY
Yelling that he’s just like his mother, his daddy hits young Clay over and over again…
24. EXT. HOUSE PAINTING JOB – DAY
Clay grabs Elijah into a hug.
25. EXT. STREETS – LATE DAY
Self-righteous
Driving home, Clay berates himself about the boy. Must keep to his grandfather’s principles! FLASHBACK TO:
26. EXT. STREAM – DAY
Love me
Clay fishes with his grandpa who imbues him with KKK principles of family and Christianity. He’ll save the boy but nobody can ever know about his mother. When young Clay questions why- ‘she was nice’, his Grandpa cuffs him.
OUT OF FLASHBACK TO:
26. EXT. BAR – DAY
Clay stops at stoplight next to BAR. FLASHBACK TO-
27. EXT. BAR – FLASHBACK – DAY
Clay’s father tells him to wait outside bar while he goes in. Clay watches as a BLACK WOMEN ENTERS. Laughter from inside as Clay waits. He peeks inside to seen the woman hanging all over his father.
28. EXT. BAR – OUT OF FLASHBACK – DAY
Light changes. Clay drives on. Stops, backs up.
29. INT. BAR – DAY
Be admired
Clay drinks, watches Lincoln Able on TV as bartender complains about blacks replacing them. LIGHTS in bar flicker due to climate stuff. Clay pontificates: it’s not climate, it’s the Chinese.
30. EXT. SPACE – ON STRANDS
Increasing climate change causes the two strands continued break down.
31. EXT. CLAY HOME – CONTINUOS
Ribbons of color encompass the neighborhood causing a terrified Elijah – who’d been out riding his bike – to bang on Clay’s door. Clay threatens to shoot him if he shows his black face at his home again. Elijah runs off as neighborhood shimmers and changes ever so subtly…
32. INT. CLAY’S BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS
Self-righteous
Clay watches TV: Lincoln speaking to an adoring crowd. STATIC from TV then clips of him speaking at his rally/interspersed with Lincoln speaking. That’s it! God’s sending him a message! Clay points his shotgun at TV. Click.
ACT TWO:
1. EXT. SKY – MORNING
The sky splits with ribboning colors that now interweave…
2. INT. BASEMENT – MORNING
(NOTE: Basement is the same – only different!)
We assume it’s Clay sleeping on the couch. But when he rises, it’s black leader Lincoln Able and he’s had a bad dream he can’t shake…
3. INT. ABLE HOME – KITCHEN – MORNING
Failure to acknowledge his deepest truth
His wife, NUBIA, apologizes for sending him to the basement but his tossing, turning, talking in his sleep was keeping her up. Lincoln says he had a vivid dream about being the Grand Dragon, yet when he woke, he wanted to kill him. Nubia laughs: One would make his daddy proud, the other his momma.
4. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Passionate
Lincoln gives his volunteers a pep talk before they go door to door to get out the vote. A truck flying a Confederate flag motors past. Lincoln appears to ignore it but, in truth, doesn’t.
5. INT./EXT. BLACK HOME – DAY
Empathetic
Lincoln speaks to a black couple about voting. The man’s son, a vet, grumbles about the uselessness of voting in the white man’s world. Lincoln understands how he feels, however, says they can’t let hate win. You’re good as dead if you do.
6. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Failure to acknowledge his deepest truth-inner knowing
Lincoln drives through a SHIMMER of lights, stops at a light just as the car next to him does too. Both drivers turn to each other. Clay and Lincoln stare at each other.
7. INT. LINCOLN’S CAR – CONTINOUS
Then, an urgent text from his wife: Come to hospital STAT! SHIMMER. Lincoln looks up. Man in opposite car is no longer Clay…
8. INT. HOSPITAL- FRONT DESK/EMPTY ROOM – DAY
Bravery
Lincoln looks for his wife at the nurses’ station. SHIMMER. It appears Hannah greets him but – SHIMMER – it’s Nubia who pulls him into a private room. She’s pregnant! Lincoln’s joy is overshadowed by the fact that he’s seeing things.
9. INT. HOSPITAL – IMAGING – DAY
Impatience
Nubia rolls Lincoln into MRI machine. He protests – he has work to do – but she’s all about being more safe than sorry.
10. INT. HOSPITAL PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Hannah’s car won’t start. She tries to call her husband. It rings and rings.
11. EXT. GUN SHOP/INT. CLAY’S CAR – NIGHT
Self-righteous
Clay leaves a gun shop. Cell phone on seat shows several ‘missed calls’ just as he opens the door and tosses in a box of ammo.
12. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT
Passionate
Nubia has Lincoln’s scan results. Odd brain patterns. Stress? With their baby finally coming, perhaps he can go back to old job. Lincoln laughs. What? Painting? Nothing he painted ever sold and he was a terrible art teacher. No, he’s found his calling.
13. EXT. CLAY’S DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Self-righteous
Clay sits in his car and loads his shotgun when a car drives up. The driver, a black man, has given Hannah a ride home. Clay angrily yanks his wife into the house.
14. INT. CLAY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
Self-righteous revenge
Clay confronts Hannah about being seen with a black man. How could she be so stupid?! He hits her again and again until she’s still…
Meanwhile…
15. EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
Emmy bangs on door outside. Calls for her mom. Blood drips down her legs.
16. EXT. HOSPITAL/CITY STREETS – NIGHT
Lincoln leaves the hospital, drives off…
SHIMMER…
17. EXT. LINCOLN/CLAY’S STREET – NIGHT
Secret
As Lincoln drives up to what he thinks is his house, he’s further disoriented when he recognizes the car that pulled up alongside him — and it’s parked in his driveway. Or is this even his driveway? Shots are fired from the house. Lincoln ducks into his car.
SHIMMER
18. EXT. LINCOLN’S HOME – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
Lincoln cautiously gets out of his car. Bullet holes riddle the side of it. But it’s his house in front of him…
19. EXT. GET OUT THE VOTE RALLY – DAY
Chip on his shoulder
Lincoln speaks but struggles. His head pounds. His speech turns spiteful – repressed anger released about “driving while black, jogging while black, voting while black…’
SHIMMERS…
The CHANGING crowd (black and then white) reacts, alternatingly jeering or cheering him on.
20. EXT. GET OUT THE VOTE RALLY – ON CROWD – CONTINUOUS
Self-righteous
Elijah is walking toward his grandma when he spots Clay, who’s taking aim at her. Elijah yells out a warning! Clay shoots the old woman, scattering the crowd. Now he aims at Lincoln, fires. Lincoln ducks and then chases after Clay. He thinks he has him cornered but… SHIMMER… he’s disappeared into thin air.
21. INT. LINCOLN HOME/CLAY’S HOME – DAY – LATER
Chip on shoulder
Lincoln spots Clay rushing up to the house with his shotgun. He yanks his wife Nubia to the floor. Nothing happens. No gun shots. She believes he’s having a breakdown.
22. EXT. LINCOLN HOME – DRIVEWAY – DAY
Chip on shoulder
Lincoln shows Nubia the bullet holes in his car. Nubia demands he stop his work. They argue and he – totally out of character – pushes her to the ground. He’s about to strike her when he stops himself, begs her forgiveness while blood trickles down her leg.
23. EXT. SPACE
The strands total collapse appears imminent.
24. INT. CLAY HOME – DAY
Love me
Someone’s in the shadows. Clay almost shoots but – it’s his daughter. She lost her baby. He embraces her, cries with her. She asks: can I come home now? Clay backs way… Full well knowing what happened to his sister, his own daughter chose to sleep with a black man. No, she’s tainted.
25. INT. CLAY’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
Self-righteous
Telephone call: Clay and his sister. She says ‘get over it.’ Never was raped. She took on those black men on as a FUCK YOU to their child molesting, KKK Grandpa. Clay denies when—FLASHBACK TO:
26. INT. KKK GRANDPA’S HOME – KID’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Secret
Clay watches as their grandpa slips into their room and leans over his sister’s bed.
OUT OF FLASHBACK-
27. INT. CLAY’S BASEMENT – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
Self-righteous
He calls her a liar just like his wife and daughter – who’ve all betrayed him with the black man.
28. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
Self-righteous revenge
Clay shoots out the windows of a black church. Shoots at folks as they run out.
29. EXT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Chip on shoulder
Lincoln drives his wife toward home. After losing their hard sought-after baby, she doesn’t want to talk. Clay’s car emerges from a SHIMMER. Lincoln sees him, stops, orders his wife out of the car.
ACT THREE
1.EXT. SPACE
The two strands are collapsing into one another…
2.EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT
Self-righteous revenge
Clay aims at a random black man when his car is rammed by Lincoln. Car chase through the city. Alarms go off as electricity arcs across the sky. The world’s fabric is rending…
Both crash their cars. Pursue each other on foot.
3. EXT./INT. COTTON PROCESSING PLANT – NIGHT
Revenge/Revenge
Both men chase shadows. It’s cat and mouse where after SHIMMERS both appear and disappear from each other’s view. Sudden quake causes near collapse of building.
4. EXT. LINCOLN’S NEIGHBORHOO – NIGHT
Nubia, on foot, finally approaches home when– the neighborhood SHIMMERS.
5. EXT. CLAY’S NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
Confused, she stands in the middle of a street she does not recognize. SHIMMER…
6. EXT. LINCOLN’S NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
She’s suddenly back in her neighborhood when car brakes scream. The face of the approaching car’s driver freezes in anguish as he runs her down…
7. EXT. SKY – NIGHT
It’s collapsing in on itself.
8. INT. PLANT – NIGHT
The men’s search for each other frustrates as their shapes SHIMMER in and out. Finally – their bullets ricochet and each is struck. Building is coming down. Both drag themselves in opposite directions to get out.
9. EXT. PLANT – NIGHT
Clay drags himself out into the night. Moon shines down on pools of water. As he bleeds out, he sees his shifting reflection in the water. It shifts out of being Lincoln, then Clay….
10. EXT. PLANT – NIGHT
Lincoln drags himself out, sees his reflection in water. It shifts out of being Clay, then Lincoln.
SHIMMER…
11. EXT PLANT – SHIFTED – NIGHT
Secrets revealed
Two SHIMMERS merge. The men are stuck between their universes, face to face. Could they, indeed, be each other. But how? Clay rails at God. All this time he thought he was serving him. Lincoln can’t accept it. He doesn’t have that kind of hate. Clay laughs. Doesn’t he? It’s like the end of Romeo and Juliet where each died for love only in the opposite. Each died for hate of a part of themselves.
SHIMMER TO WHITE OUT.
11. EXT. SPACE
String strands resonate like harp strings. The two damaged strands merge, twist and then disappear into nothingness. A beat. A resonate hum before… a whole new string is birthed. A brilliance of big bang light and…
12. EXT. MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
The sun shines down on a newly formed reality – literally. Emmy and her black husband stroll with her baby past black and white townspeople who warmly ask what her baby’s name is. Emmy smiles. It’s Elijah.
-
DAY 8 FILL YOUR OUTLINE WITH CHARACTER
Lisa’s Character Outline
What I learned from this assignment is…that I’m having a difficult time incorporating character traits in an outline rather than with dialogue. I tried but I’m not certain I succeeded. Changes are following:
OUTLINE OF “MARY’S CHRISTMAS”
1. VOICEOVER-MARY
Mary explains that Seneca Falls was the inspiration for the movie It’s a Wonderful Life and each year they put on a festival to celebrate it. As she speaks, we see…
2. EXT-SHOTS OF SENECA FALLS, NY.
3. VOICEOVER-MARY (Continues)
Mary tells how her mother planned the annual festivals until her death last year. Mary was chosen by the town to take over the festival this year. Problem is that Mary’s never liked the It’s a Wonderful Life movie. Angels are a fantasy.
However, Mary believes in Santa Claus because her ex-husband Peter worked for NORAD before he went to war and it’s their big secret. That Santa is real!
4. EXT. GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE – NIGHT
In their firetruck, Mary and her partner, Bert come across a man on the George Bailey bridge in the pouring rain. Mary recognizes Harry who is dressed in a white gown as “Clarence” from IAWL. Mary, who hates heights, is tied to the firetruck as she grabs the man, and they go over the edge. As they are hanging from the bridge, Mary says, “I thought Angels could fly?” Harry replies, “I haven’t got my wings yet”. They laugh upside down. As Bert pulls them up the rope breaks and they fall into the running water below. Other firefighters show up and they are rescued.
5. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Mary’s kitchen is full of baked Christmas goodies for the it’s a Wonderful Life festival and she calls for Uncle Billy to come eat. Uncle Billy, a miniature dachshund, is sitting behind her with his head cocked and goes over to his bowl and eats.
6. INT-BEDROOM-DAY
Ruthie (Mary’s daughter) is in her bedroom looking at the NORAD site on her computer, and she yells downstairs to her mom that the computer is broken. Mary calls back for her to come on; she closes the computer and runs downstairs.
7. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
During breakfast, Mary is multitasking for the festival when Janie and Ruthie climb on Mary’s lap because they miss their grandma. Uncle Billy runs around barking and jumping on them (because he doesn’t like anyone touching Mary), they laugh.
8. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
As Peter enters the kitchen of the dilapidated Ma Jenkins Boarding House. Ma gives Peter his mail including one red envelope; the final notice to pay his mortgage or lose his snowmobile shop. He has until Christmas Day to pay. It hasn’t snowed for 3 years.
9. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Mary sits her daughters down and tells them that they will be moving in the Spring to Albany. Mary wants to live in a bigger city. The girls throw fits.
On the way to school, Mary nearly runs over Peter when he is preoccupied and steps off the curb in front of the boarding house. Mary asks for him and Tilly to come over Christmas day to be with the girls. Peter hems and haws. Mary let’s Peter say hi to the girls who are looking on a phone at the NORAD site, and they show it to him.
11. EXT-HOUSE-DAY
Peter arrives with his toolbox at the porch of Mr. Reed and asks what he can do to help. Peter agrees to fix the boards on the porch.
12. INT-SENECA FALLS WINERY OFFICE-DAY
Mary works with her best friend Annie, and they discuss what’s happening with Peter. Joseph asks Mary out and she declines.
13. EXT-HOUSE-DAY
Peter rings the parsonage bell. The pastor Frank answers, and they walk over to the church where Peter agrees to clean the pews.
14. EXT-OUTSIDE OFFICE-DAY
Joe expresses his love for Mary. Mary squirms, but accepts a raise when Joseph offers it.
15. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter tells Tilly he has a plan to kidnap Santa, get Santa to steal gifts from houses and his friend, Sower will fence them for the money. Tilly laughs…Santa! Peter explains that he worked at NORAD and knows Santa is real. Tilly scoffs and accuses him of being cray cray.
16. INT-WINERY OFFICE-DAY
Mary tells Annie that she’s not going to play “Mary Bailey” this year. She says she will push for Annie to play her.
17. EXT-HOUSE-DAY
Peter arrives at Mrs. Thomas’s and begins mowing the lawn. She comes out on the porch to give him some iced tea.
18. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Main street is all lit up with lights and decorations. A sign reads ‘Wonderful Life Meeting Tonight at the Community Center – All Are Welcome!’
19. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-EVENING
Mary and Annie discuss how good Joseph is with the girls, then Joseph tries to give Mary her Christmas present early, but she won’t take it. Introduction of other townspeople including Harry, Mary’s father, Ernie, Annie’s boyfriend, and Mayor Partridge. Mary’s nemesis Violet shows up late and gives Mary a hard time.
20. INT-MARTINI’S BAR-NIGHT
Peter enters and sits next to Bert (Peter’s older brother) at the bar. Peter gets teary eyed about losing everything and his daughters. Bert asks Peter if he’s taking his meds and if he’s still in PTSD therapist. Peter doesn’t answer.
21. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Mary and Annie discuss removing Peter from her life after the divorce. Annie asks why not move on with Joseph.
22. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter is loading up a truck with a snowmobile and supplies. Tilly says she still thinks he’s crazy, but she can’t let him go alone.
23. INT-FIREHOUSE-DAY
Mary leads a review for the other volunteer firefighters of where the firetrucks are going to be positioned prior to the parade. The Firetrucks end the parade with Santa on top of the last one.
24. EXT-NORTH POLE-DAY
Peter calls Santa out of the workshop. Santa recognizes Peter immediately. Santa asks how he’s been and how can he help. Tilly does a double take because Santa knows him. Peter pretends to have a gun. Peter and Tilly blindfold and kidnap Santa on snowmobiles as elves and Mrs. Claus yell after them.
25. INT-CONTROL ROOM-DAY
At NORAD HQ, Santa starts to move on the giant screen, but it’s too early. Dash and Don are assigned to find Santa.
26. EXT-FOREST US BORDER-DAY
Snow is starting to thin as Peter and Tilly continue by foot with blindfolded Santa in tow. They stop and transfer to the truck. Peter removes Santa’s blindfold.
27. EXT-CANADIAN ROAD-DAY
Dash and Don are trying to track Santa’s signal.
28. EXT-TRAIN TRACKS-NIGHT
Peter, Tilly, and Santa run alongside a slow-moving freight train. They get into the train car, and it starts to go faster.
29. EXT-CANADIAN ROAD-NIGHT
Dash and Don track the Santa signal and realize they are moving faster than snowmobiles. They can’t figure out where they are headed at first.
30. INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY
Ruthie tells Mary something is wrong with the laptop because it’s not following Santa. Mary looks at the site and says it’s just a temporary issue. Ruthie asks why they have to move away.
31. INT-TRAIN-DAY
Santa asks Peter why he’s doing this. Santa tries to convince Peter to let him go. Peter threatens to expose him to the world if he leaves.
32. INT-CAR-DAY
Dash and Don are still in Canada and realize the signal has stopped in New York. Border guards stop them and laugh that they are chasing Santa.
33. EXT-TRAIN TRACKS-DAY
Peter, Tilly, and Santa run into the woods.
34. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
Main Street is full of people there for the festival. Vignettes of different townspeople working their jobs during the festival.
35. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
On the outskirts of town, Peter unlocks the door of the shop and he, Tilly, and Santa go inside.
36. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter finds a tracking device on Santa and interrogates him on how he gets down the chimneys. Santa won’t say.
37. EXT-FRONT YARD-DAY
Ruthie and Janie are playing in the yard in the snow. Uncle Billy is running around barking at them. Joe and Mary are watching from the front window.
38. INT-HOUSE-DAY
Mary and Joe argue over moving their relationship forward. Mary tells Joseph they are moving to Albany in the Spring. Joseph leaves upset. Uncle Billy comes in and Mary rubs him with a towel as he licks her face.
39. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
Dash and Don enter Seneca Falls and they ask Ernie if he’s seen a Santa. Ernie nods as Dash & Don turn around to see a sea of Santa’s running in the Santa 5k.
40. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
At the theater, Annie calls Mary’s cell and tells her to get to the community center now. Mary has Janie and Ruthie with her, and they all leave for the center.
41. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter and Tilly discuss that they didn’t think everything out…like how to get Santa back to the North Pole. Peter tells Tilly they will let Santa go as soon as he gets what he needs. Tilly quits and leaves the shop.
42. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-DAY
The town Santa is sick, and Mary puts on the Santa suit because Angel has the radio show to do. Mary leaves Janie and Ruthie at the community center where Joseph will pick them up for the parade.
43. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter dressed as Santa too, leaves the shop with Santa and they head towards town. Mary drives up to the shop looking for Peter, but he’s not there.
44. EXT-MAIN STREET-DUSK
Dash and Don run alongside the running Santa’s in the 5k trying to spot the “real” Santa. At the same time. Peter and Santa use the running Santa’s as a shield to get to the houses at the other end of town.
45. EXT-COMMUNITY CENTER-DUSK
As Joseph (dressed as George Bailey) is on his way to pick up the girls at the community center, he notices smoke coming out of the roof. He calls 911 and enters the building.
46. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-DUSK
Joseph comes out of the burning building with the girls in tow. Others are running out too.
47. EXT-COMMUNITY CENTER-DUSK
Mary runs through the crowd in her Santa suit and goes inside. After the fire is out, she checks on the girls. Then runs off talking on her festival walkie talky to move the community center events to the Women’s Right’s Museum.
48. INT-POLICE STATION-DUSK
Mary has told the police that Peter and Santa are missing. The police laugh at her. She explains he might do something terrible and leaves in frustration.
49. EXT-RESIDENTIAL STREET-DUSK
Neighborhood of houses lit for Christmas, but everyone is in town. Peter and the real Santa come out of the woods and move toward the back of a house where Peter has hidden a ladder.
50. EXT-SIDE STREET-NIGHT
Mary gets on the firetruck to play Santa as Tilly runs up and tells Mary what Peter has done and where they are headed. Mary jumps off the truck and runs toward the house.
51. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Tilly finds Annie and Joe who are marching in the parade as Mary and George Bailey and tells them what’s happening with Mary and Peter. Joseph takes off and Annie stays with Janie and Ruthie who are in the parade as Bailey children.
52. EXT-LIBRARY-NIGHT
Dash and Don spot a Santa far away running toward a neighborhood and they take off after the Santa (Mary).
53. EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Mary sneaks up behind Santa and trades places with him as Peter struggles with the ladder. Mary is still afraid of heights, but she gets on the roof anyway…scooting along the roofline. Mary and Peter argue.
54. EXT-PARADE-NIGHT
The real Santa has taken Mary’s place on the firetruck and is waving to the children yelling Ho, Ho, Ho!
55. EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Peter tries to force Santa (Mary) down the chimney, and they struggle while Dash & Don point their guns at Peter. Mary stops them from shooting him then falls off the roof where Joseph catches her, and they fall in the snow.
56. EXT-YARD-NIGHT
The real Santa comes running and convinces Dash & Don to let Peter go. Dash & Don take Peter into custody anyway to find out what happened for their report. Annie runs up and says she can’t find Janie. She lost her in the crowd.
Mary, Joseph, and Annie spread out to search for her.
57. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Mary moves down Main St asking everyone she knows if they’ve seen Janie. No one has seen her. In front of the Clarence Hotel, Ernie says she passed him about 15 minutes earlier. Mary runs off.
58. EXT-CHURCH-NIGHT
Mary finds Janie in the nativity scene. The Christmas Star is shining brightly over them. Crying, Janie wants to know why they have to leave Seneca Falls. Mary consoles her.
59. INT-COURTHOUSE-CHRISTMAS EVE DAY
Dash & Don release Peter. Ma Jenkins, Bert, Mr. Reed, Pastor Frank, Mrs. Thomas and all the townspeople show up on the steps for Peter, they have paid his mortgage with the festival money. They found a sponsor to pay for next year’s festival.
60. INT-HOUSE-CHRISTMAS EVE
Ruthie, Janie, Uncle Billy, Peter, and Tilly are celebrating with the girls by watching IAWL on tv.
61. EXT-MARY’S PORCH-CHRISTMAS EVE
62. INT-CHURCH-CHRISTMAS DAY DUSK
The congregation sings “Hark the Harold Angels Sing” with candles lit as Joseph and Mary walk down the aisle. Uncle Billy carries the ring around his neck.
63. EXT-CHURCH-CHRISTMAS DAY DUSK
Mary and Joseph come out of the church into the snow and get on top of a firetruck with the lights on and Just Married on the back. They drive off.
64. EXT-SENECA FALLS-NIGHT
65. SHOTS OF TOWN LIT FOR CHRISTMAS
66. VOICEOVER-MARY
Mary explains that “No one is alone who has friends…and family.”
NOTE: I didn’t purposely put a couple of things in red, they just showed up when I copied and pasted.
-
Day 8 Character Profiles Into Outline
What I learned from this assignment: Again I learned how by observing the script from a different POV I had small but powerful changes which then cascaded into more change. I ended up adding two more scenes which were, in my opinion, emotional dynamite. I can also see how this would be helpful to actors.
LEADS OF 2 of 4 CHARACTERS STEVE AND ELIZABETH
1. EXT.ESTABLISHING/VILLAGE HIGH STREET/CHRISTMAS/DAY
2. EXT.VILLAGE SCHOOL/DAY
A group of bullies chase Dylan, verbally abusing him. His school teacher watches passively. Smirking.
3. INT.CLASSROOM/DAY
Elizabeth Perkins returns to her schoolroom and dialogues with her mirror., enjoying her dark side. She sings rap song Creature Teacher.
4. INT.GARBAGE SKIFF/DAY
Dylan hides in the garbage skiff, meets Alfie, discovers that the dog has superpowers of two-way telepathic communication with Dylan.
5, INT. DYLAN AND STEVE’S COTTAGE/DAY
Dylan and Alfie enter leaving a dirty mess. Alfie bathes and feeds Alfie.
6. INT.COTTAGE BATHROOM /DAY
They are discovered by a horrified Steve, (Dad) very agitated body language, raised voice, very frustrated, and says Dylan cannot keep the dog.
Steve is annoyed as he was expecting a dinner guest, Elizabeth Perkins, now this is not possible.
7.INT.KITCHEN/DAY
Steve leaves, Dylan and Alfie enter the kitchen to find food for a starving Alfie. They empty most of the fridge.
8.INT.INDIAN RESTAURANT/EVENING
1. EXT.ESTABLISHING/VILLAGE HIGH STREET/CHRISTMAS/DAY
2. EXT.VILLAGE SCHOOL/DAY
A group of bullies chase Dylan, verbally abusing him. His school teacher watches passively. Smirking.
3. INT.CLASSROOM/DAY
Elizabeth Perkins returns to her schoolroom and dialogues with her mirror., enjoying her dark side. She sings rap song Creature Teacher.
4. INT.GARBAGE SKIFF/DAY
Dylan hides in the garbage skiff, meets Alfie, discovers that the dog has superpowers of two-way telepathic communication with Dylan.
5, INT. DYLAN AND STEVE’S COTTAGE/DAY
Dylan and Alfie enter leaving a dirty mess. Alfie bathes and feeds Alfie.
6. INT.COTTAGE BATHROOM /DAY
They are discovered by a horrified Steve, (Dad) very agitated body language, raised voice, very frustrated, and says Dylan cannot keep the dog.
Steve is annoyed as he was expecting a dinner guest, Elizabeth Perkins, now this is not possible.
7.INT.KITCHEN/DAY
Steve leaves, Dylan and Alfie enter the kitchen to find food for a starving Alfie. They empty most of the fridge.
8.INT.INDIAN RESTAURANT/EVENING
What would Steve do or say?
What would Elizabeth do or say?
Steve and Elizabeth the teacher are having dinner. She states that Dylan should attend a special boarding school. This would allow them to spend more time together. Steve dumps Elizabeth and rejects the school idea. Elizabeth is angry and embarrassed.
STEVE
Steve is sitting at the table opposite Elizabeth. His voice is getting louder.
Steve says he was OK with being friends, now and again. Is Elizabeth Insisting on sending his son away? Steve says she has really overstepped the mark.
ACTION
Steve gets up from the table, smacks the table with his fist. Rattles the china. Gets very loud, other diners are looking.
STEVE
States he does not want to see Elizabeth again. Directs her to, stay in her corner! Stay out of it.
ACTION
Steve gives the waiter money and storms out of the restaurant, banging the door behind him.
INT.COTTAGE KITCHEN/NIGHT
What would a stressed-out frustrate Steve do or say.
Steve looks for some supper to eat in the fridge. Dylan and Alfie have almost cleaned the fridge out. Steve hungry and stressed makes a piece of burnt toast and out takes a hidden bottle of Irish whiskey out of an upper kitchen cabinet,
and pours himself a stiff one in a concealing coffee mug.
9.EXT.PARK/EARLY MORNING
Before school, Dylan and Alfie go to the park to play. They see the bully boys walking towards them. Dylan is apprehensive. All of the boys but one, want to come and meet Alfie. The alpha bully hangs back
10..INT.SCHOOL/MORNING
Dylan observes Elizabeth locking his friend Daisy in the school cellar. (Actions of a deceitful, abusive Elizabeth}
11. EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/STEVE’S BUS DAY
Dylan has run away from the school, he tries to get his Dad to help Daisy using his usual means of gestures. When that does not work, Dylan speaks for the first time in two years,
telling his Dad to help Daisy. (What would a heroic Steve do; go to the rescue. What would an insensitive Steve do: Express frustration with Dylan’s nonverbal communication.)
12.. INT.SCHOOL/DAY
Steve and Dylan can hear Daisy crying in the cellar, Steve fetches the school principal. Elizabeth appears and intimidates Daisy into taking responsibility for locking herself in the cellar.
(Heroic Steve is taking charge of the situation)
13. EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/DAY
On the way home Steve expresses his anger. He feels Dylan has made a fool of him, and all because he will not speak. Steve doubts his ability to help Dylan
What would an insensitive Steve do or say? His dialogue would be angry in tone and missing the mark of his son’s dilemma. Steve’s powerful dialogue would cause further withdrawal and feelings of inadequacy for Dylan.
14. INT.DYLAN’S BEDROOM/DAY
Alfie encourages Dylan to try to communicate with his Dad about his troubles with bullies and the deceptive Miss Perkins using pictures,
Steve runs out of the house He does not see the pictures. Dylan takes his pictures away believing that his Dad is not interested.
What
15.INT.SCHOOLROOM/DAY
Steve has an interview at Dylan’s school, He agrees to consider the boarding school option and takes the paperwork home.
What would a worn-out, stressed-out Steve do or say. V.O. he is feeling like a failure, sad/ feeling alone cannot help his son, is at his wit’s end.
16. EXT.VILLAGE STREET/DAY
On the way home, Steve takes the side of Elizabeth and says they should very seriously consider the boarding school as Dylan is creating trouble and Steve cannot figure out how to help him, Dylan breaks away from his father and runs off. Steve cannot find Dylan.
What would an insensitive Steve do or say? He would be so self-involved with his complaining monologue, that he would not notice his son running off. What would a loving Steve do or say in this situation? He would act frantic, horrified bewildered that his son has run away.
17. INT.STEVE AND DYLAN’S COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve is pacing the floor, he calls the village police and tells them Dylan has run away.
Alfie finds the envelope with Dylan’s drawings and whines and barks loudly until Steve looks at the pictures.
Steve sees the pictures of abuse at the school and understands. Steve looks at Alfie and asks him to find Dylan
What would a loving Steve do or say? What happens to Steve internally in this situation? Steve comes out of his typical stress response mode (fight, flight, or freeze) and sees the new information before him, has an epiphany as to the real situation, and then adopts his heroic self-image, doing all he can to find his son with Alfie’s help (accepting his new allie.)
18. EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/NIGHTAlfie continues to bark, steering Steve to the garbage skiff where Alfie and Dylan originally met. Steve lifts the lid on the skiff where (horrified,) he finds Dylan.
What would a loving Steve do or say in this situation? Steve is horror-struck to see his son so distressed, he gets in the garbage skiff with his son and lifts him out, telling his son it’s going to be OK, no boarding school. Steve apologies for not understanding or believing Dylan. They walk home with Steve having his arm around his son’s shoulder.
I9.INT. AT THE COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve phones the school board, reports his concerns, and tells his son not to worry he is not going to the boarding school,
What would a heroic Steve do or say? His assertive heroic self would come to the fore. He would be very authoritative in talking to the school board, may threaten legal action. He would demand an immediate investigation of the child abuse at the school.
20. INT.THE COTTAGE/MORNING
Steve calls the pound Dylan. No one has claimed Alfie. Steve says If Aflie makes Dylan happy and gets him to start talking, he can keep him until New Year. But only till New Year.
What would an exasperated/desperate to have his son talk do or say in this situation? He would try talking eyeball to eyeball with his son. He would communicate that he was doing his best and needed his son to help him overcome the silence issue with the help of Alfie. It would be a loving and desperate plea.
21 INT.DYLAN’S ROOM/MORNING.
Alfie spends more time with Dylan explaining how important it was for him to speak, he saved Daisy from the cellar. He also talks to him about loving his mother and making his mother happy by talking and enjoying his life. Dylan is still silent. He draws another picture of Alfie with a big heart around Dylan and Alfie, he gives it to his Dad.
What would a loving, confused yet gaining clarity Steve do in this situation or say? Steve would look at the drawing and tell his son he understands Alfie is important and remind him of the plan to benefit from Alfie by talking more if he is to keep the dog
22. EXT.SCHOOL/DAY
It’s the day of the school Christmas concert. Dylan and Steve are walking from the parking area towards the school with many other parents. Dylan points to the alpha bully boy Victor being smacked and pushed by the bully’s mother. Dylan’s Dad says he will contact the school principal. Elizabeth is being marched off the school property by a security guard. She is carrying boxes.
What would a heroic and more understanding (evolved) Steve do or say in this situation? Steve would adopt a no-nonsense attitude, he would insist Mr. Brown take action and call the authorities.
What would Elizabeth do with her plans to snare Steve and maintain an abuse of authority over the children?
Elizabeth would be very angry, shrieking loudly., walking fast. Telling the security guard to get his hands off her. She would threaten to sue the school board. Then she would turn to the school, and say something nasty, along the lines of ‘ nasty kids, no regrets.
23. INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY/EVENING
Dylan feels sorry for the bully boy. Steve says this is how the boy has learned to bully. Dylan wonders if the bully is unhappy or lonely. Steve explains the importance of talking to adults who love and care for children and young people when there is a problem, and how silence can make things worse.
What would An evolved Steve do or say in this situation? He would use it as a powerful teaching opportunity to emphasize communication through speaking as very important. He would make eye contact with his son.
23. EXT. PARK/DAY
Daisy, Dylan, and Alfie are sitting on the park bench. Daisy explains how competitive her parents are,(Tiger mom) and that she would really like a certain doll for Christmas. (Her family does not celebrate Christmas.) They discourage dolls and teddy bears as she has to grow up. Dylan speaks to Daisy, says he wants a tattoo, his Dad will never allow it.
24. INT.VILLAGE BAKERY/AFTERNOON
Dylan, Steve, and Alfie go shopping Dylan buys Daisy a My Little Mermaid doll.. Dylan points and waves at the bakery. They go in and buy Christmas goodies. Steve and Dylan like Mickey the baker,
What would a still burned-out Steve do or say in this situation? He would express relief with face and body language and enjoy the moment of happiness. Steve would also note the pleasant and genuine demeanor of an attractive Mickey. He would (now more sensitive to picking up cues,) note by looking first at Dylan and then at Mickey and back at Dylan, that there is a positive vibe between Mickey and Dylan, who Dylan met before, unknown to Steve. ( Mickey had offered to kick the bully’s collective ass.) Steve’s demeanor would continue to escalate enjoying the ambiance of the Christmas-themed bakery. He would make complimentary comments to Mickey.
25. EXT. SEAFRONT/EVENING
Mickey is just about to close the shop and suggest they all go to the seafront cafe for hot chocolate.
What would an evolved (character arc) Steve react, do or say in this situation? He would be as we say in the UK ‘dead chuffed’, pleased/happy in a bumbling way. he would enthusiastically agree to go along with the suggestion. Steve is not a ‘cool’ guy, so he would be awkward and happy.
26 EXT. THE VILLAGE CHRISTMAS TREET/CHRISTMAS EVE
Dylan holds his Dad’s hand and points to the village’s huge Christmas tree, lights sparkling snowflakes falling. Dylan speaks, admiring the tree. Steve agrees to keep Alfie.
What would Steve do or say in this situation which addresses the biggest want need in his life; Dylan speaking again? He would be surprised, even shocked. He would laugh almost cry and hug his son.
27. EXT.VILLAGE PARK/CHRISTMAS DAY
Alfie, Dylan, and Daisy are playing hacky sack. They sit on the bench and exchange gifts, the mermaid doll for Daisy and some extra long-lasting tattoo decals for Dylan. They discuss the dilemma of wanting to grow up and still be kids, even though both situations have problems. They spot the alpha bully walking along dejectedly. They call him over encourage him to make friends with Alfie. and ask him why he is in the park alone, he says there is too much yelling and fighting at home. Dylan says his Dad is cooking the turkey and invites Victor and Daisy to come over for Christmas dinner.
INT. DYLAN AND STEVE’S COTTAGE/ DAY
Steve and Mickey are cooking. The kids are in the living room doing a lego construction. Background sounds are ‘A child’s Christmas in Wales’ Dylan Thomas.
What would Steve do or say in this situation? He would be very happy but flummoxed, a little confused with everything he has to do. Observes his son and his friends, and then leaves the cottage to stand on the back porch and openly cry. Mickey would come out and give him a hug,
EXT.PORCH/DAY cont.
Alfie is barking loudly. The kids are shouting for Steve to come in. Alfie is stuck in the Christmas tree which he has knocked over.
What would Steve do?
INT.COTTAGE/DAY
Steve would join in the chaos, laughing, and extricate the dog.
F.O. All walking through the Christmas village to Dylan’s cottage where a tree with lights is visible from the window (Thomas Kincaid vibe, music Walking In The Air from The Snowman
(Andrew Loyd Webber) Andrew Johnston performing (a boy who was bullied because he sang.)
Credits Roll
Ensemble cast casually assemble in front of the cottage as in the final scene in The Lady in a Van. (Alan Bennet.)
Steve and Elizabeth the teacher are having dinner. She states that Dylan should attend a special boarding school. This would allow them to spend more time together. Steve dumps Elizabeth and rejects the school idea. Elizabeth is angry and embarrassed.
SITUATION
Steve and Elizabeth are at the Indian restaurant discussing Dylan.
STEVE
Steve is sitting at the table opposite Elizabeth. His voice is getting louder.
Steve says he was OK with being friends, now and again. Is Elizabeth Insisting on sending his son away? Steve says she has really overstepped the mark.
ACTION
Steve gets up from the table, smacks the table with his fist. Gets very loud.
STEVE
States he does not want to see Elizabeth again. Directs her to, stay in her corner! Stay out of it.
ACTION
Steve gives the waiter money and storms out of the restaurant, banging the door behind him.
INT.COTTAGE KITCHEN/NIGHT
What would a stressed-out frustrate Steve do or say.
Steve looks for some supper to eat in the fridge. Dylan and Alfie have almost cleaned the fridge out. Steve hungry and stressed makes a piece of burnt toast and out takes a hidden bottle of Irish whiskey out of an upper kitchen cabinet,
and pours himself a stiff one in a concealing coffee mug.
9.EXT.PARK/EARLY MORNING
Before school, Dylan and Alfie go to the park to play. They see the bully boys walking towards them. Dylan is apprehensive. All of the boys but one, want to come and meet Alfie. The alpha bully hangs back
10..INT.SCHOOL/MORNING
Dylan observes Elizabeth locking his friend Daisy in the school cellar. (Actions of a deceitful, abusive Elizabeth}
11. EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/STEVE’S BUS DAY
Dylan has run away from the school, he tries to get his Dad to help Daisy using his usual means of gestures. When that does not work, Dylan speaks for the first time in two years,
telling his Dad to help Daisy. (What would a heroic Steve do; go to the rescue. What would an insensitive Steve do: Express frustration with Dylan’s nonverbal communication.)
12.. INT.SCHOOL/DAY
Steve and Dylan can hear Daisy crying in the cellar, Steve fetches the school principal. Elizabeth appears and intimidates Daisy into taking responsibility for locking herself in the cellar.
(Heroic Steve is taking charge of the situation)
13. EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/DAY
On the way home Steve expresses his anger. He feels Dylan has made a fool of him, and all because he will not speak. Steve doubts his ability to help Dylan
What would an insensitive Steve do or say? His dialogue would be angry in tone and missing the mark of his son’s dilemma. Steve’s powerful dialogue would cause further withdrawal and feelings of inadequacy for Dylan.
14. INT.DYLAN’S BEDROOM/DAY
Alfie encourages Dylan to try to communicate with his Dad about his troubles with bullies and the deceptive Miss Perkins using pictures,
Steve runs out of the house He does not see the pictures. Dylan takes his pictures away believing that his Dad is not interested.
What
15.INT.SCHOOLROOM/DAY
Steve has an interview at Dylan’s school, He agrees to consider the boarding school option and takes the paperwork home.
What would a worn-out, stressed-out Steve do or say. V.O. he is feeling like a failure, sad/ feeling alone cannot help his son, is at his wit’s end.
16. EXT.VILLAGE STREET/DAY
On the way home, Steve takes the side of Elizabeth and says they should very seriously consider the boarding school as Dylan is creating trouble and Steve cannot figure out how to help him, Dylan breaks away from his father and runs off. Steve cannot find Dylan.
What would an insensitive Steve do or say? He would be so self-involved with his complaining monologue, that he would not notice his son running off. What would a loving Steve do or say in this situation? He would act frantic, horrified bewildered that his son has run away.
17. INT.STEVE AND DYLAN’S COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve is pacing the floor, he calls the village police and tells them Dylan has run away.
Alfie finds the envelope with Dylan’s drawings and whines and barks loudly until Steve looks at the pictures.
Steve sees the pictures of abuse at the school and understands. Steve looks at Alfie and asks him to find Dylan
What would a loving Steve do or say? What happens to Steve internally in this situation? Steve comes out of his typical stress response mode (fight, flight, or freeze) and sees the new information before him, has an epiphany as to the real situation, and then adopts his heroic self-image, doing all he can to find his son with Alfie’s help (accepting his new allie.)
18. EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/NIGHTAlfie continues to bark, steering Steve to the garbage skiff where Alfie and Dylan originally met. Steve lifts the lid on the skiff where (horrified,) he finds Dylan.
What would a loving Steve do or say in this situation? Steve is horror-struck to see his son so distressed, he gets in the garbage skiff with his son and lifts him out, telling his son it’s going to be OK, no boarding school. Steve apologies for not understanding or believing Dylan. They walk home with Steve having his arm around his son’s shoulder.
I9.INT. AT THE COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve phones the school board, reports his concerns, and tells his son not to worry he is not going to the boarding school,
What would a heroic Steve do or say? His assertive heroic self would come to the fore. He would be very authoritative in talking to the school board, may threaten legal action. He would demand an immediate investigation of the child abuse at the school.
20. INT.THE COTTAGE/MORNING
Steve calls the pound Dylan. No one has claimed Alfie. Steve says If Aflie makes Dylan happy and gets him to start talking, he can keep him until New Year. But only till New Year.
What would an exasperated/desperate to have his son talk do or say in this situation? He would try talking eyeball to eyeball with his son. He would communicate that he was doing his best and needed his son to help him overcome the silence issue with the help of Alfie. It would be a loving and desperate plea.
21 INT.DYLAN’S ROOM/MORNING.
Alfie spends more time with Dylan explaining how important it was for him to speak, he saved Daisy from the cellar. He also talks to him about loving his mother and making his mother happy by talking and enjoying his life. Dylan is still silent. He draws another picture of Alfie with a big heart around Dylan and Alfie, he gives it to his Dad.
What would a loving, confused yet gaining clarity Steve do in this situation or say? Steve would look at the drawing and tell his son he understands Alfie is important and remind him of the plan to benefit from Alfie by talking more if he is to keep the dog
22. EXT.SCHOOL/DAY
It’s the day of the school Christmas concert. Dylan and Steve are walking from the parking area towards the school with many other parents. Dylan points to the alpha bully boy Victor being smacked and pushed by the bully’s mother. Dylan’s Dad says he will contact the school principal. Elizabeth is being marched off the school property by a security guard. She is carrying boxes.
What would a heroic and more understanding (evolved) Steve do or say in this situation? Steve would adopt a no-nonsense attitude, he would insist Mr. Brown take action and call the authorities.
What would Elizabeth do with her plans to snare Steve and maintain an abuse of authority over the children?
Elizabeth would be very angry, shrieking loudly., walking fast. Telling the security guard to get his hands off her. She would threaten to sue the school board. Then she would turn to the school, and say something nasty, along the lines of ‘ nasty kids, no regrets.
23. INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY/EVENING
Dylan feels sorry for the bully boy. Steve says this is how the boy has learned to bully. Dylan wonders if the bully is unhappy or lonely. Steve explains the importance of talking to adults who love and care for children and young people when there is a problem, and how silence can make things worse.
What would An evolved Steve do or say in this situation? He would use it as a powerful teaching opportunity to emphasize communication through speaking as very important. He would make eye contact with his son.
23. EXT. PARK/DAY
Daisy, Dylan, and Alfie are sitting on the park bench. Daisy explains how competitive her parents are,(Tiger mom) and that she would really like a certain doll for Christmas. (Her family does not celebrate Christmas.) They discourage dolls and teddy bears as she has to grow up. Dylan speaks to Daisy, says he wants a tattoo, his Dad will never allow it.
24. INT.VILLAGE BAKERY/AFTERNOON
Dylan, Steve, and Alfie go shopping Dylan buys Daisy a My Little Mermaid doll.. Dylan points and waves at the bakery. They go in and buy Christmas goodies. Steve and Dylan like Mickey the baker,
What would a still burned-out Steve do or say in this situation? He would express relief with face and body language and enjoy the moment of happiness. Steve would also note the pleasant and genuine demeanor of an attractive Mickey. He would (now more sensitive to picking up cues,) note by looking first at Dylan and then at Mickey and back at Dylan, that there is a positive vibe between Mickey and Dylan, who Dylan met before, unknown to Steve. ( Mickey had offered to kick the bully’s collective ass.) Steve’s demeanor would continue to escalate enjoying the ambiance of the Christmas-themed bakery. He would make complimentary comments to Mickey.
25. EXT. SEAFRONT/EVENING
Mickey is just about to close the shop and suggest they all go to the seafront cafe for hot chocolate.
What would an evolved (character arc) Steve react, do or say in this situation? He would be as we say in the UK ‘dead chuffed’, pleased/happy in a bumbling way. he would enthusiastically agree to go along with the suggestion. Steve is not a ‘cool’ guy, so he would be awkward and happy.
26 EXT. THE VILLAGE CHRISTMAS TREET/CHRISTMAS EVE
Dylan holds his Dad’s hand and points to the village’s huge Christmas tree, lights sparkling snowflakes falling. Dylan speaks, admiring the tree. Steve agrees to keep Alfie.
What would Steve do or say in this situation which addresses the biggest want need in his life; Dylan speaking again? He would be surprised, even shocked. He would laugh almost cry and hug his son.
27. EXT.VILLAGE PARK/CHRISTMAS DAY
Alfie, Dylan, and Daisy are playing hacky sack. They sit on the bench and exchange gifts, the mermaid doll for Daisy and some extra long-lasting tattoo decals for Dylan. They discuss the dilemma of wanting to grow up and still be kids, even though both situations have problems. They spot the alpha bully walking along dejectedly. They call him over encourage him to make friends with Alfie.and ask him why he is in the park alone, he says there is too much yelling and fighting at home. Dylan says his Dad is cooking the turkey and invites Victor and Daisy to come over for Christmas dinner.
INT. DYLAN AND STEVE’S COTTAGE/ DAY
Steve and Mickey are cooking. The kids are in the living room doing a lego construction. Background sounds are ‘A child’s Christmas in Wales’ Dylan Thomas.
What would Steve do or say in this situation? He would be very happy but flummoxed, a little confused with everything he has to do. Observes his son and his friends, and then leaves the cottage to stand on the back porch and openly cry. Mickey would come out and give him a hug,
EXT.PORCH/DAY cont.
Alfie is barking loudly. The kids are shouting for Steve to come in. Alfie is stuck in the Christmas tree which he has knocked over.
What would Steve do?
INT.COTTAGE/DAY
Steve would join in the chaos, laughing, and extricate the dog.
F.O. All walking through the Christmas village to Dylan’s cottage where a tree with lights is visible from the window (Thomas Kincaid vibe, music Walking In The Air from The Snowman
(Andrew Loyd Webber) Andrew Johnston performing (a boy who was bullied because he sang.)
Credits Roll
Ensemble cast casually assemble in front of the cottage as in the final scene in The Lady in a Van. (Alan Bennet.)
-
Kate’s Character Outline
What I learned is that when you look at how a character acts based on their profile (traits, want-need,flaws secrets etc) is a subtle (or large) shift-evolution even when operating from those same basic places. And then some of them go away once revealed/dealt with and so are not operating next time round. And some are stubbornly embedded even when one would hope for awareness.
(I included their basic profile or the actions don’t make sence…)
PROTAGONIST: NIA
Character Logline: Nia is a naive young woman who must find her personal courage to face the truth of her father and family.
1. Basic character traits:
Kind, Hopeful, Passive, Principled, (In Denial, Self-censoring)Possible areas of subtext: she insists D will change, she believes love can fix everything, she doubts other versions of her ‘truth/story’, she brushes away help and support, she almost turns down real love, she doesn’t speak up to D even when she doesn’t agree with him
2. Want/Need
She wants the perfect idealized father she never had
She needs to know the truth.
3. Paradoxes (Warring elements)?
Family loyalty is everything VS communal social values and behavior
4. Secret:
As a part black child growing up with the Irish American grandparents and no relationship with her Mother’s family she has always felt she owed her very existence to the family she had and was no-one without them.
5. Flaw:
A chronic desire to please and take care of other’s feelings and needs.
6. Special:
Nia holds some precious memories of her Mother so she almost feels her talking to her. Even without contact with that family she always felt she was part of something bigger than her current family with a hidden strength deep within her.
ANTAGONIST: DARROGH
Character Logline: Darrogh is a lonely, suspicious billionaire who wants to buy up all the farmland around the village but is thwarted by his daughter and the locals.
1. Basic character traits:
Traits: Greedy, Supremely confident, Smooth, (Lonely, Suspicious)Possible areas of subtext: takes advantage of everyone, thinks his daughter will treat/cheat him as he ‘thinks’ her mother did, uses money as protection against intimacy, has all the modern hi-end security, believes that being rich makes him safe, tries to buy people’s loyalty/friendship
2. Want/Need?
He wants to be the biggest and best.
He needs appreciation/love.
3. Paradoxes (Warring elements)
Avoiding pain and loss, by being independent, strong, in charge VS being a present, caring, loving father.
4. Secret:ry?
Fear that he was responsible for his wife’s death prevents him from accepting his daughter as she is and really letting her into his life.
5. Flaw:?
His immense wealth and power gives him no idea he’d ever lose to anyone.
6. Special:
He was always the golden boy, succeeding in everything. He broke the ‘rules’ took a huge risk marrying a black woman and when she was ‘unfaithful’ he flipped out and also abandoned their daughter to focus on making money which he could count on. The ‘failure’ was too much for him to stay with.
PLOT OUTLINE (with Profile action motives in CAPS)
INT. TOWN MEETING – EARLY EVENING
A desperate crowd at a town meeting, led by the Latina Mayor Luciana, discuss how to stay solvent and bemoan the greed of Darrogh, the local billioniare. They have all lost something of their livelihood to him.
EXT. A PEACEFUL FIELD ON THE EDGE OF TOWN – EARLY EVENING
A tour bus of actors set up their campsite, preparing for their play this weekend. Nia tells Shaun, fellow thespian, she can imagine living there. He agrees – if only to get away from his high-powered biz Mother who is too involved in his life. NIA: KIND/HOPEFUL
INT. LOCAL BAR – NEXT EVENING
Nia and the troupe mingle with the local community, most are fascinated by their life and looking forward to the play they are going to do except Bill, who is suspicious of these ‘alternative’ young theatre people. Luciana introduces herself and asks Nia a lot of questions. NIA:Passive/Flaw
EXT. THE FIELD – SATURDAY EVENING.
The Shakespeare show is ending and Darrogh is watching Nia – she is the living image of her mother, his dead wife. D: PARADOX – WANTS TO AVOID HER AND THE MEMORIES BUT LONGS TO BE A FATHER
MEMORY – IMAGE – D sees in Nia his beautiful young wife.
EXT. THE FIELD – SATURDAY EVENING. (CONTINUOUS)
Bill interrupts Darough’s reverie with his concerns about these weird out of towners. D: SUPREMELY CONFIDENT – SAYS NOT TO WORRY HE CAN CONTROL THAT – MONEY TALKS
INT. POST OFFICE – NEXT DAY
Nia meets Darrogh in the post office, he invites her to his house, under pretext of wanting to support the troupe. NIA: KIND/HOPEFUL – HAPPY TO MEET A NEW PERSON, FEELS SOME FAMILIARITY. AGREES TO GO. D: NEED – WANTING TO BE A DAD
INT. DARROGH’S PALATIAL HOUSE
Darrogh tells Nia she is his daughter and he is so happy to find her after these years. Talks about how beautiful her Mother was, how Nia looks just like her. NIA: HOPEFUL/WANT (PERFECT FATHER) HUGS HIM AND CRIES. D: NEED (LOVE)
INT. FLASHBACK
Nia has a happy flashback of herself (3) with her Mother and Darrogh watching, smiling. WANT – PERFECT FAMILY
INT. DARROGH’S PALATIAL HOUSE (CONTINUOUS)
D hints that Amahla (Nia’s mother) let him down badly. He spins a story about what he’s been doing, making himself sound good. D: SECRET/SPECIAL NIA: PASSIVE/SELF CENSORING- AGREES EVEN AS IT DOESNT FEEL RIGHT.
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP – EVENING
Nia says goodbye to the troupe to stay with her father, Luciana urges caution but Nia assures her it will be fine. Shaun has a text from Min, his mother, saying she wants to come and see their last show. He tells her no, he doesn’t want to see her. NIA: HOPEFUL/PARADOX FAMILY LOYALTY ABOVE ALL VS COMMUNITY SHE APOLOGIZES EVEN AS SHE LEAVES
INT. DARROGH’S HOUSE – LATER THAT EVENING
Darrogh makes it clear that he doesn’t want Nia mixing with the locals, he wants her to himself making her feel special and loved. D: GREEDY/SUSPICIOUS AND FLAW
INT. COFFEE SHOP- DAY
Meeting clandestinely, Luciana tells Nia how Darrogh cheated her father out of the family ranch. She is very ‘familiar’, Nia is uncomfortable and rejects the offer to stay at her place, determined to have a relationship with the father who left her 15 years ago when she 7. She believes he is a good person and that she can help him be better because he loves her. NIA: IN DENIAL/WANT/FLAW/SECRET
EXT. STREET – SAME TIME
Bill is observing them.
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP
Nia tells Shaun he is not being kind to Min, his Mother, and she wishes she had that kind of attention. Shaun says he can’t let her be too close – she takes over – the classic Chinese Tiger Mother. NIA:PRINCIPLED/PARADOX – FAMILY LOYALTY
INT.TOWN MEETING – EVE
Luciana presents a letter from Darrogh in which he announces he is going to develop a massive landfill on the ranch he ‘bought’ from her family and offering to buy out the other little farms in the area but people have to decide in the next week. Bill suggests it is not a bad thing – an argument ensues, Bill leaves, not seeing –
INT.TOWN MEETING – EVE (CONTINUOUS)
Nia, listening incognito at the back of the room.
EXT. STREET – EVE
Nia is deeply moved by their plight, promises Luciana she will try and help, appeal to his humanity, sure her father loves her enough to listen. NIA: PRINCIPLED/PARADOX/WANT
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP
Nia and Shaun meet after the meeting. She says she will stay with D because she’s not afraid to get to know him and dares Shaun to do the same with his Mother. He accepts the dare and texts Min to say Ok you can come if you really want to – not very warmly. NIA: SPECIAL (HIDDEN STRENGTH VIA HER MOTHER’S SPIRIT)
INT. DARROGHS HOUSE – NEXT DAY, BREAKFAST TIME
Nia tries to talk with her father appealing to his humanity. He belittles her as being a child and calls the people in the town losers and worthless because they don’t know how to make good money. Says she is too much like her Mother. NIA: PRINCIPLED/PARADOX D: FLAW/SECRET
INT. FLASHBACK
A scene when she was 6 and she heard her parents arguing violently.
INT. DARROGHS HOUSE – NEXT DAY, BREAKFAST TIME
D apologizes – he is anxious about the land deal – it means so much to him. He brushes off her concerns.
D: LONELY/WANT-NEED/FLAW NIA: WANT
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP
Nia, shaken by her memory, meets Luciana who tells her she knew her mother when they were in college , filling her in (to some degree) on her Mother’s suicide, how Darrogh had isolated her and then did the same with the child Nia, and assures Nia she will always be there for her. She invites her to her house where there is to be small group meeting to decide what to do. NIA: WANT-NEED/ PARADOX SHE AGREES TO GO KNOWING THERE IS MORE TO ALL THIS AND FEELING GUILTY SHE IS GOING BEHIND HER FATHER’S BACK
EXT. FROM A ROAD SIDE
Bill observes them from afar with binoculars..
INT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE – EVENING
A small group of towns people decide to set up a ‘sting’ company purportedly to manage and expand the landfill. Nia suggests that some of her theatre friends pose as ‘the businessmen’ but she will stay in her father’s house to keep an eye on him, still hopeful he’ll change. NIA: PRINCIPLED/SPECIAL/PARADOX
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP – NEXT DAY
Nia proposes the sting project – all agree and Shaun (who is sweet on Nia) says his mother can help set that up being very pro-environment and the rights of ‘small’ people. Before he can ask her, he gets a text from Min saying she has decided not to come – he is right and she needs to give him more room. She will send some advice for the fake business proposal. . NIA: PRINCIPLED/SPECIAL
INT. LUCIANAS HOUSE – 3 DAYS LATER
Rehearsal (with a script) of the ‘businessmen’ for the meeting with Darrogh. NIA: SPECIAL (IN HER GROOVE MOTHER’S SPIRIT)
INT. DARROGHS HOUSE – 4 DAYS LATER
The ‘Businessmen’ meet with Darrogh, who is interested but delays signing it – he will do it himself and doesn’t need them yet – maybe later in the process. He is trying to get more land from the other farmers to have the biggest landfill ever made. D: GREEDY/SMOOTH/WANT/FLAW
INT. DARROGHS HOUSE – LATER THAT DAY
Bill tells Darrogh he has seen Luciana and Nia together a lot and he knows that Luciana and Darrogh have a history – suspects they are old lovers. D laughs, it’s no-one’s business but L did him wrong years ago. Thanks him for keeping an eye on his daughter. D: FLAW/SECRET
INT. DARROGH’S HOUSE – EVENING
He confronts Nia about seeing so much of Luciana. Bill told him. Tells her L caused Amahla’s (Nia’s mother) death, that they were lovers and the shame was too much for Amahla. Nia very confused remembering that she was uncomfortable with Luciana that time, and she leaves the room. D: FLAW/SECRET/WANT-NEED NIA: INDENIAL-SELF-CENSORING/SERET/PARADOX
INT. DARROGHS HOUSE – NIAS’ ROOM – LATER THAT NIGHT
Nia texting Shaun when Darrogh bursts in, says it’s him or them and anyway he doesn’t trust her – she doesn’t have his best interest at heart and she can go join the riff-raff as that’s her type anyway. Kicks her out of the house then and there, saying ‘you’ve let me down like your Mother’. She leaves with only what she arrived with. D: SUSPICIOUS/SECRET/PARADOX NIA: INDENIAL/SELFCENSORING/SECRET/WANT SHATTERED
INT. FLASHBACK
As she makes her way to the camp, to when he kicked her Mother out (when Nia was 6)
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP
Nia arrives distraught. She doesn’t know who to trust but tells them about Bill spying on them and will keep going with the ‘sting’. Shaun was one of the fake businessmen when D didn’t sign the deal and now he really needs to get Min more on board plus he is moved by Nia’s hopeful and needy love for her father who Shaun can see is a shit. He calls his mother who agrees to come in person next week because she likes the sting project. NIA: INDENIAL/SELFCENSORING/SECRET/WANT SHATTERED/FLAW
EXT. THE FIELD – A WEEK LATER
The surveyors and bulldozers arrive. Everyone is frantic.
INT.DARROUGHS HOUSE – 2 DAYS LATER
The’ Businessmen’ make a second proposal- they have ‘sales agreements’ from surrounding farms to their company. He is still not sure, tells them to wait. D: GREEDY/SMOOTH/WANT/FLAW
EXT. THE FIELD – SAME TIME
Meanwhile the surveyors are at work in the land that he already has, beginning in the field where Nia first camped and where the Troupe’s bus still is.
EXT. THE FIELD – AFTERNOON
Min arrives to be part of the ‘businessmen’ to meet D one more time. Min and Luciana hit it off. Shaun sees her as others in the troupe see her and the first time appreciates her, even as he is also a bit jealous of her easy relationship with the others and is torn between letting her into his life and keeping his autonomy. Nia sees in Min/Luciana comfort level what she fears – her father is right. NIA: SECRET/IN DENIAL
INT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE – EVENING
Nia has it out with Luciana demanding the whole truth about her Mother’s death and their relationship, and sees for a first time a pure clear love. Luciana knew Amahla was straight and loved D so she left hoping they’d make it. NIA: SECRET/IN DENIAL/WANT-NEED
FLASHBACK –
Luciana and Amahla are wrapping up the conversation when D comes in, misreads it all, refuses to hear anything more.
INT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE (CONT)
L tells Nia her mother did commit suicide but because of the pain of cancer and the fact she was kept from her daughter. Nia says that no one told her that, only that her mother died from cancer, and it broke her father’s heart – he couldn’t look at her it hurt too much. Nia always thought it love not disgust.. NIA: WANT/NEED,
EXT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE
Bill is lurking and Nia calls him out – warning him to leave her and Luciana alone – for the first time taking a stand. NIA: PRINCIPLED/PARADOX/SPECIAL
INT. DARROGHS HOUSE – DAY
The ‘businessmen’, lead by Min, meet with Darrogh – he says he will sign the deal with the ‘company’ if the community agree to name the new landfill after him, with a big fancy gate. He is very excited and calls Nia to come and have lunch with him. D: GREEDY/SMOOTH/WANT/FLAW
INT. PHONE CALL
Nia says she needs some time to think about it – that she is still upset about the landfill even though he is her father. He promises he’ll make sure everyone is taken care of if she’ll just come back. NIA: SELF-CENSORING/WANT/NEED/SECRET
INT. LUCIANAS HOUSE
Talking more with Luciana and some others, Nia chooses the community. Luciana says it is not enough to get the money from Darrogh, he has to be held publicly accountable. Nia comes up with the idea a play specially written to be performed and expose the whole story. There is to be a ribbon-cutting event next week to name the new landfill (even though it is not quite yet under construction). The perfect time to do it. NIA: PRINCIPLED/SPECIAL/NEED (THE TRUTH) SECRET – IS OVER -REALIZES SHE DOESN’T NEED THEM/HIM
EXT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE
3 of the men at the meeting run Bill out of town.
INT. DARROGH’S HOUSE – 2 DAYS LATER
D alone at his desk. Tries to call Nia, no answer. D: LONELY/SECRET
INT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE – NEXT DAY
Min and Luciana over coffee discuss how to make sure D comes to the play. – a special invite, a naming event at the landfill, and Nia will see him there.
EXT. THE FIELD – EVENING – 1 WEEK LATER – ON STAGE
The play is performed, outdoors under lights with the ‘dozers in the periphery, and slowly Darrogh recognizes the story and his role in it. (Includes a re-worked scene from ‘Lear’ with Cordelia). D: FLAW IS IN HIS FACE/WANT IS SLIPPING AWAY
EXT. THE FIELD – EVENING – (CONTINUOUS) – IN THE AUDIENCE
D makes a scene demanding the contract be cancelled, but Min shows him it is all legitimate and there is nothing he can do. Luciana challenges D to stay for the end of the performance by his daughter. D takes his seat loudly sure Nia will take his side. D: SUPREMELY CONFIDENT/FLAW/SPECIAL
EXT. THE FIELD – EVENING – (CONTINUOUS) – ON STAGE
Nia performs the murder scene from ‘Othello’ with Nia (as Desdemona) looking like Amahla) and ends by calling D out for his failures as a father and sharing her grief as someone who now sees the truth is not like she had imagined and hoped – and had been told. NIA: PRINCIPLED/NEED LIVED OUT/PARADOX (COMMUNITY OVER FAMILY)
EXT. THE FIELD – EVENING – AFTER THE PERFORMANCE
D, heartbroken, appalled, slinks off to his house, leaving a party in his wake. D: LONELY/NEED/FLAW REVEALED EVEN TO HIM/SECRET REVEALED
EXT. THE FIELD – EVENING – LATER
Shaun had played a key role in the performance and Min saw him in a new way, appreciating the life he has chosen.
INT. TOWN MEETING – A WEEK LATER – DAY
The community has their land back and the money to develop a back-to-nature retreat center for future sustainability as some had hoped for years. Nia thanks them all for everything – she can’t stay but needs to go on with her life. Luciana promises she’ll always have a home here. NIA: HOPEFUL/KIND/PRINCIPLED
EXT. THE TROUPE’S CAMP
Min and Shaun agree to stay closer – she will support his choice of life and work, he will keep her involved.
INT: DARROGH’S HOUSE- LATE AFTERNOON
Nis visits her father one last time and he pleads with Nia to forgive him and take him in. The house is to be foreclosed and he’ll have nowhere to go. She forgives him, but says he must depend on this community because she is going on with her life, free and independent. She refuses the car he offers for her travels. NIA: KIND/SPECIAL/NEED (THE TRUTH) SECRET – IS OVER -REALIZES SHE DOESN’T NEED THEM/HIM
INT: DARROGH’S HOUSE- LATE AFTERNOON (CONTINUOUS)
Nia walks out the door and down the grand driveway. NIA: SPECIAL
EXT. THE FIELD – HALF AN HOUR LATER – EARLY EVENING
The ‘dozers and surveyors pegs are gone, the Troupe is packing up, Luciana and Min helping. Shaun hugs his Mother goodbye, Luciana gives Nia a letter to read later and Nia and Shaun leave on the bus as they had arrived.
VOICE OVER
Letter from Luciana telling Nia not to worry about Darrogh, that because she loved Nia’s mother who loved Darrogh and gave birth to Nia, she will find him a place at the ranch she now has back. NIA: KIND/SPECIAL/NEED (THE TRUTH)
-
Cameron Martin’s Character Outline
What I learned doing this assignment is…Making character profiles and applying them to the outline can elevate the whole story and fix some of the plot points that weren’t where they needed to be. Kind of ran out of time, but I’d love to go back through and revise the two sentence/scene outline and include two sentences per character in each scene. With the character profiles and the chemistry set up, I can do just that. Also, it was fun to go back to the chemistry assignment and compare JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE and its sequel JUMANJI: THE SECOND LEVEL. The whole class has helped me to understand exactly why the first film worked on so many levels, whereas the second film really struggled at times. In addition, in watching WAR OF THE WORLDS, I found myself breaking down Tom Cruise’s character into core traits, paradoxes, etc. It’s been awesome to go from just breaking a film down to its structure to breaking down characters and their shared relationships communicated through dialogue.
OPEN WIDE
INT. APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Following an establishing shot/montage of an alien solar system and a space colony on another planet, we flash forward to the carnage painting the walls of the space colony maroon, and Sully holding his son, Isaiah (about 8-12 years old), who is coughing uncontrollably. Sully apologizes to his son before a shotgun blast is heard.
INT. SPACE COLONY – NEW CONSTRUCTION ZONE – DAY
Establish the space colony on another planet, as we follow Sully working as a master carpenter with a team of other workers. One of the workers accidentally compromises the worksite, but Sully leaps into the fray and single-handedly saves the construction site and the workers.
CONT.
Isaiah sneaks into the construction site and asks his dad to spend the day with him. Sully tells him he needs to go back to his class, explaining there’s a lot of work he has to do, and that the construction site is no place for children, before requesting an assistant to escort Isaiah back.
CONT.
Isaiah sneaks off from the escort to pull a prank on his dad and show him that he knows how to exploit every nook and cranny in the space colony, but in the process he nearly hurts a number of the workers at the new construction zone. Isaiah runs away, scared of the punishment he’ll receive, before Sully is called into his manager’s office.
INT. CONSTRUCTION ZONE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY
Sully informs his boss that Isaiah is mentally delayed in some areas, but the boss tells Sully he must get his child under control. Boss- “This is space! We can’t take risks here, or lives will be lost!” An alarm goes off warning of aliens.
INT. SPACE COLONY – VARIOUS – DAY
Everyone is moving in a rapid but orderly manner, except Sully who’s fighting against the crowd to get to his son.
CONT.
A family of three argue to get their teenage son, who’s looking sick, into the bunker with them. The mother and father argue about the virtue of protocol at the expense of humanity, and a doctor who knows the family vouches for them.
INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Sully finds Isaiah hiding in a corner with his eyes closed and his hands over his ears, while making noises to tune out the siren. Sully tries grabbing him by the hand, but as soon as Isaiah’s hand leaves his ear, exposing him to the loud sound of the siren, he runs away and hides again.
INT. BUNKER – DAY
The family of three make it into the bunker and start looking for medical supplies, when their son passes out. The doctor starts administering treatment, telling the other scared colonists that it’s just a bad case of pneumonia, and that some people’s lungs struggle with the artificial air, and that this has been the case with the teenager for months now.
INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Sully takes a headband out of his deceased wife’s drawer (untouched for weeks) and fashions earmuffs with it. He gives it to Isaiah who doesn’t want to be carried, but Sully picks him up anyway so they can get to the bunker faster.
INT. BUNKER – DAY
Teenager wakes up very sick, and his compulsive coughing and vomiting up blood cracks his jaw and tears the seams of his mouth.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Sully and Isaiah get to the bunker too late, with Isaiah still trying to get out of Sully’s grip. Sully is pissed off with Isaiah and lets him know as calmly as he can, informing him that they’ll have to work together to make it out alive.
Isaiah tells Sully he has a plan, but they have to stop running or carrying him.
CONT.
An adult alien worm (about 15 feet long) breaks through of a vent and slithers after them. Sully RUNS with Isaiah in tow, ignoring Isaiah’s previous suggestion. Isaiah kicks and tries to escape.
CONT.
Sully darts into a room where they find a stranger who’s hiding from his loved one who’s an alien host. Isaiah tries to say something about the aliens’ weakness, but when Sully hushes him, Isaiah creates a distraction that draws the worms and host away.
CONT.
The stranger makes a run for it and escapes from his loved one, but is subsequently infected by a worm slithering down his throat.
CONT.
Sully uses Isaiah’s strategy and gets out of the apartment and manages to lock the aliens behind the front door.
CONT.
More alien worms come out of hiding and hunt them. However, Jude, a frail old lady who didn’t make it to the bunker, takes Sully and Isaiah to her room where she believes they can fortify their position and prepare for the worst to come.
INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
They make it to a corner/tool room of Jude’s apartment, and slam the door on the aliens. Sully goes to work make-shifting a weapon, and to his surprise Jude pulls out a laser gun from a safe. The two fight off the hostile aliens, and Jude doesn’t miss a single shot.
Isaiah tries catching the worms.
CONT.
Isaiah tries protecting the captured worms from his dad, asking that he listen to what he has to say. Sully declines to listen and kills the worms with prejudice.
Sully – “You don’t have a say! You do what I say, when I say it, or else! That’s how we’re going to get through this!”
CONT.
Sully and Jude fortify the apartment, while Isaiah sulks in the corner. Jude comforts Isaiah and introduces herself as a spy for the Hegemony (the government entity that presides over the space colony).
INT. SPACE SHIP – CRYO-BUNKS
A passenger, Markus, wakes up to an alert, along with the rest of the ship. He meets Apollo, another passenger, but the two try to stay discreet.
INT. SPACE SHIP – LUNCH HALL
Markus and Apollo learn with the rest of the ship that their voyage has been redirected, and that the passengers are now conscripts to wipe out an outbreak of alien parasites and any survivors not in their designated bunker. Apollo wants to start a mutiny, but Markus wants to lay low and hidden.
INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Sully asks why Jude isn’t in the bunker. Jude reveals that she was infected on her way to the bunker, and tells Sully to take it easy because they’re all going to die, regardless of what they do. Isaiah hypothesizes about a way to “cure” Jude, but she assures that there’s nothing that can be done.
Jude – “You know how they work, don’t you? Their eggs grow like a fungus from back on Earth. At the end of her cycle, the queen burrows deep and her eggs grow out of her in any confined space, whether it be a cave, a tree hollow…or a space colony. Then, the fungal eggs are carried on the wind, or ventilation system, and breathed deep by a new host, where they’ll grow in less than an hour, so that GOD knows how many worms hatch from inside you, and take over your body like it’s their shell to go hunting with.”
INT. SPACE SHIP – HANGER
The passengers are equipped with 3-D printed weapons that have one short range round each. Apollo is caught, along with other mutineers.
INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Sully asks why the spy helped them if they’re going to die anyways. The spy explains that she’s making peace with GOD, as she was sent to cover up the Hegemony’s involvement with the escalating outbreaks of aliens. Isaiah wants to find a way to keep her alive, but Sully helps her take a lethal injection that kills her and the alien eggs inside of her as they’re hatching.
Jude – “It’s funny, you know. There used to be a natural predator to these monsters, but we wiped them all out when we started terraforming the planet. Somehow, the worms survived and are thriving now more than nature ever intended. Now any new space colony risks an outbreak. But you know our government will never own up to their mistakes. Terraforming is expensive, and we’ve just put too much into this planet to stop now.”
INT. SPACE SHIP – HANGER
Markus is forced, along with several other passengers, to execute the mutineers, including Apollo.
INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Sully discovers a way inside the bunker by reviewing schematics left behind by the spy. He decides he’s going to try and save his and his son’s lives. Isaiah asks to help, saying he knows more about the colony tunnels and escape routes than his dad.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS/HALLWAYS – NIGHT
Sully lures Isaiah into a closet and locks him inside to keep him safe while he ventures out alone to find out if the schematics are correct. He apologizes but insists it’s for his own good.
EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT
Sully inches across the roof of the enclosed space colony in a ventilation suit, looking out for any other worms or spore nests. He walks over a weak point in the structure, but it manages to hold. Sully makes a mental note to avoid that spot in the future.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Isaiah is able to escape from his closet. He gathers rope and some tools from the tool room, and a spare ventilation suit.
EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT
Isaiah runs across the walkway in an oversized ventilation suit. He comes across the same weak point his dad came across, but because of its location on the structure, Isaiah has to go around it by climbing on the side of the building.
EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT
Sully opens up a point in the roof with a grinder and crawls into a shaft that leads to the bunker.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
Sully uses the grinder to open a hole into the bunker. When he drops down into the bunker, he discovers all of the residents are now alien hosts, including the teenager and his family, who attack him on all fours and lash out with their jaws that separate from their skulls with the worm’s body attaching the two. He tries to fight back, but there’re too many of them, and he can’t reach the escape.
INT/EXT. SPACE COLONY – BUNKER/WALKWAY – NIGHT
Isaiah is able to save his dad at the last moment by dropping the rope for him. Dad climbs up the rope that’s anchored to the vent, through the use of the power tools Isaiah brought.
EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT
Isaiah insists on a different way from his Dad. Stressed about the hosts still tailing them, Sully forgets about the weak point in the structure, and pushes Isaiah in the direction he believes they need to go, leading to Isaiah falling through the same weak point as before, onto an alien spore nest that infects Isaiah when his mask breaks.
INT. SPACE COLONY – ALIEN SPORE NEST/VENTS – NIGHT
Sully, holding his breath, pulls Isaiah out of the nest and replaces Isaiah’s broken ventilation mask with his. He kills another host on his way back inside the colony, and seals the way in as best he can.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Sully is upset that Isaiah left the safety of the closet he was in, but expresses remorse about pushing Isaiah into the nest.
Sully – “I knew it was there. How could I forget? Why did I push you when I knew it was a mistake!?”
INT/EXT. SPACE COLONY – NIGHT
The Exterminators arrive in force to exterminate the alien threat and any infected, while Sully gathers as much of the Spy’s evidence as he can. Sully and Isaiah try to hide, but Isaiah develops a cough, drawing the attention of exterminators and aliens alike.
CONT.
While the two are surrounded, Sully apologizes to his son and asks him to help by using his knowledge of escape routes to get them to a medical bay aboard the exterminator’s vessel. A shotgun blast goes off, killing one of the hosts, while two more tear into an exterminator.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS AND HIDEAWAYS – NIGHT
Isaiah and Sully try sneaking around the carnage surrounding them, but exterminators find and chase after the two. Sully releases the alien worm he locked up earlier, and the two make a break for it and escape.
INT. PASSENGER VESSEL – NIGHT
Sully and Isaiah make it to the ship, but are found out due to Isaiah’s coughing that’s getting worse. With nowhere else to hide, the two run as fast as they can to the Medical Bay, with Sully using his makeshift weapon against the exterminators by aiming for their hands and guns, until it’s out of ammo.
INT. PASSENGER VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT
They make it to the medical bay and lock themselves inside. Meanwhile, military and exterminators try to break in to kill the two. Sully and Isaiah work together, against the clock, to extract the alien eggs that are growing rapidly in Isaiah’s chest.
CONT.
The extracted eggs start to hatch, but Sully pours bleach over the hatching worms, killing them.
INT. PASSENGER VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT
Sully holds his son close as exterminators and military personnel break in. Markus is among them. Sully reveals the Hegemony’s involvement with the outbreaks, but an officer orders the execution of the father and son.
CONT.
Markus uses his weapon and shoots the officer. He and the other exterminators form a wall around Sully, setting the stage for a mutiny.
INT. PASSENGER’S VESSEL/ESCAPE POD – NIGHT
Markus gathers up Sully’s documents and gets Sully and his son to an escape pod. He hands the documents to Sully and tells them to get the word out.
INT. ESCAPE POD/SPACE
Sully and Isaiah are jettisoned from the vessel aboard an escape pod. Sully holds Isaiah tight, as the two watch the planet they were colonizing fade into the distance.
-
June Fortunato’s Retirement Day 8 of seducing actors- outline driven by character
What I learned: Great assignment if you’ve got 23 hours to do it. I literally took that long. Nonetheless, I added a lot of “How” to the script, cut & rearranged scenes and added to the character descriptions of day 1.
1
Opening
1 EXT. SUZY’S RENTAL – LATE AFTERNOON
Roy waits outside until he realizes that his girl, Suzy, moved out. He crashes there but the
landlord shows up so he steals the cleaning crew’s van and, wanting a place to sleep, he decides
on “jail” and deliberately smashes the van into a Wawa.
Roy: seductive & charming
He clowns into the windows to make Suzy happy.
2 INT. SUZY’S RENTAL- NIGHT
Suzy’s gone- Humongous guilt
He gets the box he hid and finds Suzy’s note- she knows about his medal of honor.
Suzy’s note: A rescuer. She’s trying to take care of herself and it’s hard.
3 INT. SUZY’S RENTAL – DAWN
Roy: quick witted
Roy has prepped things to take off. He knew this was coming. He banters with the landlord who
is there to get Roy out.
4 EXT. SUZY’S RENTAL & CLEANING VAN -CONTINUOUS
Roy does outrageous things. Rejection of authority.
Roy jacks the cleaning van and
4a INT/EXT- VAN – CONTINUOUS
smashes it into a WAWA, asking for coffee.
5 INT. JAIL HOLDING CELL- EARLY AFTERNOON
Roy wise ass, tender with strays, brings pain onto himself
In Jail, he’s protective of the kid, plays with the food, and deliberately gets pummeled by the
other cellmates.
6 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – EVENING
Roy- charming, rejection of authority
In the hospital, in traction. Flirts with his ex. Doctors tell him he can’t live rough anymore and he
tries to get up and can’t.
7. Roy: rejection of any suggestion to make his life easier, but the gig is up.
Suzy brings in a lawyer to help him- he faces criminal charges. He banters, sings and tries to set
up a smoke screen. Lawyer isn’t sure he got through to Roy. Suzy reassures both of them that this
is happening.
8 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – MORNING
Suzy and the lawyer in the hallway.
9 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – WEEKS LATER – LATE AFTERNOON
2
Roy: super moocher, charming, outrageous
Roy makes the rounds in the hospital and meets Kim. He dazzles and asks for money and is
surprised when she doesn’t have any.
Kim: super moocher, clever, musical.
She responds to his silly made up songs with fabulous cut down comebacks. He’s in love!
10 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – LATE AFTERNOON
Roy walks the halls looking for Kim and mooching from other patients and their families. He
grabs food off of other people’s lunches and brings it to Kim. He discovers:
Roy: rescuer, quick wit, outrageous
Kim: shattered, wounded, angry, cannot confront.
11 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – OSTEO UNIT- KIM’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Kim’s brother/sister in law harass and threaten her. Roy enters with the food and slices the
brother and sister in law with sideswiping insults. She gets her clothes and Roy takes Kim by the
arm and
11a INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – CONTINUOUS
they waltz out.
Roy: rescuer, quick wit
11b INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – OSTEO UNIT – CONTINUOUS
Roy waits until Kim’s in the restroom, goes back to
11c INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – OSTEO UNIT- KIM’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Kim’s room and exclaims that Kim collapsed, they have to get to ER immediately- and
misdirects them. Brother Brian and sister in law Ingrid storm out.
12 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – CONTINUOUS
Kim slips out of the restroom, grabs keys from the nurse’s station, blows Roy a kiss and takes
off.
13: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – LATER
Roy, charming
Suzy: wants to believe in the goodness of others but often subjected to scams and pranks. Wary.
Roy is confronted by his ex, Suzy whose keys got stolen. She searches his room, but he’s
innocent. Roy smiles innocently and offers a side of his bed to Suzy to lay down beside him.
14. INT. COURTROOM – MORNING
Roy- rejection of authority, humongous guilt, outrageous things
Roy’s lawyer changes Roy’s status to ‘alive’ and his back payments cover the damages and
hospital bills he’s incurred. However, the judge orders him to get a bank account/place to live by
6 weeks or lose his benefits again.
Roy has a seriously hard time standing still and listening. His lawyer has a hand on his shoulder,
but Roy keeps miming a noose around his neck, reacting to a bullet to his heart, pretending to
drop (others catch him) basically out of control and mis-behavior in court.
3
15 INT. CITY HALL HALLWAYS / INT. LUNCH PLACE UPSCALE / HOSPITAL
ENTRANCE
Suzy goes to lunch with the lawyer. Roy is wheeled back to the hospital.
16 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – LATER
Roy stares alone in his hospital room.
End of the first 10 pages/inciting incident
17 INT. PARKING GARAGE – MORNING
Kim: smart, observant
Kim parks Suzy’s car in a garage, turns over the keys, gets her receipt/ticket.
She takes in all she can about the office and how it works, and charms the attendant.
18. INT. BOUTIQUE – CONTINUOUS
Kim prone to stealing and scamming, very smart, looks normal
Kim chats up a woman in the dressing stall near hers, helps the woman find clothes, and
meanwhile swaps her parking ticket with the lady’s. (Marilyn)
19. INT. PARKING GARAGE – CONTINUOUS
Kim drives Marilyn’s car and leaves Suzy’s behind.
20. EXT/INT. MARILYN’S CAR & STREETS- CONTINUOUS
Kim drives Marilyn’s car to a small cabin near a city park and pulls over.
21 INT. PARKING GARAGE – CONTINUOUS
Marilyn’s car is missing and she’s greatly delayed, and terribly worried about her pets being
alone for so long.
22 EXT. CLIFFSIDE & CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Kim: angry, resentful, fearful, loud
Kim has driven Marilyn’s car to her house (aka- her brother and sister in law forced her out
although she also owns it). She stares at it but her brother is inside. She slams on the horn and
yells profanities.
23 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – EVENING
Suzy gets a call that her car was found and feels terribly guilty that she accused Roy. She gets
something from a drawer, goes in to apologize to him, and he has set up an extra pillow on his
bed for her and pats the side of the bed. She responds: Not a chance, but she pulls out a taster
bottle of whiskey and gives it to him.
24. INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE – EVENING
Marilyn: motherly, insecure, encouraging, fragile. Doubtful. Marilyn’s dog trips her and she
breaks a hip. She calls the neighbor, whose kid resentfully agrees to walk the dogs and then
come in and pet sit until she can resolve this. She calls the mother of the kid several times to be
4
reassured. She gives the kid money. She writes down instructions. But the ambulance comes and
she has to go.
25. INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – POOL- EVENING
Kim self talks to balance and protect herself. Lonely. Acts fearlessly.
Kim, in her brand new stolen swimsuit, sits by the pool (pooched Marilyn’s gym pass) and
speaks loudly. Others are bewildered, so she goes into a monologue from a play suited to her
weird situation. Others just stare and assume that she’s rehearsing. One woman asks her to keep
it down, and Kim recites even louder. Soon, everyone vacates the pool area except for Kim.
26. INT. HOSPITAL- ER
Marilyn is wheeled into the ER and taken back immediately.
27. INT. PARKING GARAGE – EVENING
Kim, wants to be a good person.
Kim retrieves Marilyn’s car and decides to return it to the car park where she stole it.
She considers sleeping in the back seat but feels exposed under the bright lights of the club
parking. She roots through the trunk and grabs valuable things, a coat, shopping bags, a crowbar.
She keeps the gym pass and gets out and walks.
28. EXT. THEATRE – NIGHT
Kim loves to act and sing. She’s clever at finding cushy places to crash.
Kim walks into the stage entrance of a little theatre as the actors are exiting announcing she just
forgot her purse, running in frantically, making a scene. She slips in and dives for the dressing
rooms underground, where she hides behind a rack of clothes. Lights go out, people leave and
lock up. She emerges wearing a fancy toga- she’s set for the night.
29. INT. THEATRE – CONTINUOUS
Kim: clever. Longs to be an actor. Kim finds a good place to hide in the dressing rooms for the
night. Later, when the theatre is empty she indulges in the snack bar food and booze. She finds
plays and reads them aloud on the stage- dressed in costumes. This is a thrill. She finds the baby
grand on the stage, and sings, accompanying herself.
30 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – EARLY MORNING
Roy: charming, seductive Roy is released from the hospital with a reminder that he has 6 weeks
to get a bank account/permanent place, aka, get his act together or lose it all. He flirts with Suzy,
and she finds No hard to say so this raises red flags. She’s got to do something to get herself off
of Roy’s radar. And when Roy saw her with the lawyer it only peeked his competitive streak.
31 EXT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – CONTINUOUS
Roy: resourceful. Indigent. Quick wit. Rejection of authority.
Roy discovers a box of fresh baguettes as they’re delivered outside of the Bellevue hotel. He
grabs one, and, dressed in the suit he wore to court, decides to explore inside.
32 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL- GARDEN ROOM & HALLWAYS -CONTINUOUS
Quick wit, resourceful.
5
Roy follows a group of suits into the garden room on the 19th floor. He chats them up. It’s a
group of osteo doctors, so he prattles on with his knowledge from personal experience. Then
follows an engineer up a set of obscured stairs and finds
33 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL-BALCONY- CONTINUOUS
Roy: indigent. Resourceful. Avoids normal.
He discovers an unused tiny balcony overlooking the Garden Room. It’s currently used to run
pipes. His feet make prints in the dust. Perfect! He’ll camp here.
34. INT. THEATRE – MORNING
Various clips of Kim enjoying the theatre and dreaming. She knows how to play piano and
accompanies herself. We must know that this is where her heart always was.
When people enter a couple of days later, she makes a hasty retreat- still wearing an Edwardian
costume and grabbing her street clothes and a few other items.
35. EXT. PARKING GARAGE – MORNING
She passes the car park where she stole and then returned Marilyn’s car on her way out and
overhears
36.INT./EXT. – PARKING GARAGE – MORNING
The car park attendant calls Marilyn. Horribly embarrassed, he says that Marilyn’s car was there
all along. He apologizes profusely. He doesn’t know how that could’ve happened. Then he turns
in his uniform. He’s been fired
Cut back and forth between the attendant and Kim’s actions.
Kim loudly criticizes herself and compares herself to her brother, and loudly tells herself that she
is NOT like him.
36a When the kid leaves, she stops him and tells him that she knows he’s having a bad day- sohere:
Take this bottle of Jack Daniels and these four theatre tickets. Everybody makes mistakes.
37 INT. BANK – ADMINISTRATOR’S CUBBY – MORNING
Flirty. Explosive side.
Roy goes to a bank but can’t get an account. He flirts his butt off, but, poor Roy isn’t so good
looking anymore. He talks about his ‘wife’ who needs surgery, and that he’s a vet, but he can’t
talk his way into this one. A rare moment of despair turns to an explosion. He lashes out and
flips the chair in the cubby, mugs for the cameras above, and heads for the door- the security
guard close at his heels. This is why he declared himself dead. Because of this society- these
corporate leeches- etc Outside, he screams, “I was better off dead.”
38 INT. BUS – AFTERNOON
Kim is scared and exhilarated.
Kim takes a bus to the same place where she drove- the edge of the city park.
39 EXT. CLIFFSIDE & CABIN- AFTERNOON
Kim: bit of a thief. Reckless behavior. Needs what belongs to her and was taken. Kim is smart
and knows the law.
6
She stares at the cabin. There’s a cliff below it. She goes to the edge of the cliff and
contemplates. Then she turns angrily, and yanks out all of the flowers around the cabin. She
smashes a window. She blames them and vows to be a better person. I will not be like you!
Her brother, inside, stands in front of the window, Ingrid directly behind him- and he makes a
phone call. Kim can hear through the broken glass.
Due to his smashed window and trashed flower beds, Kim’s brother reports her to be found and
since she owns part of the house and he can’t charge criminal mischief, instead, to be sent to a
psyche ward. Police will see this as a domestic dispute and discount it.
Kim is smart, though. Brian can try, but it’s her garden and she can garden if she wants.
40 INT. BUS- CONTINUOUS
Kim alternately weeps in frustration, triumph, and self talks loudly. The other passengers regard
her as just one of the nutcases who ride Septa.
Then she gets on a bus and heads back to center city.
41. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING- AFTERNOON
Roy meets with a building superintendent. They walk an extremely modest apartment. He tries to
secure an apartment but without money to deposit he’s rejected. The woman suggests that he
borrow money, and he stifles his impulse to implode. The charm has gone out of him.
42. EXT./INT. APARTMENT BUILDING- CONTINUOUS
Roy: Crazyass
When the rental agent leaves, he sneaks in and grabs the firehose, makes a noose and hangs it
outside over the entrance. He shouts and passersby worry that he intends to hang himself. He
tells everyone that this building refuses to rent to veterans. Tenants emerge. The manager comes
out and tries to dispel the notion. People scream at the manager. The manager tries to talk Roy
back into the building, but he is satisfied that he has created a controversy among the tenants- he
bows as he leaves.
End of Act 1
Act II Roy and Kim together
43. INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – BALCONY
Roy: self inflicted punishment
Roy returns to the Bellevue to his balcony. One has to be sneaky to get up there during daylight
hours. A floor manager’s jacket is draped over a chair, so he slips it on. He’s only questioned
once when a guest asks a question, but he says he’s new and points to a house phone. Safe for
now, he stares at a plate of food he’d stashed and deliberately forces himself to look at it without
eating.
44 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT
Marilyn: insecure, fragile, super worrier. Suzy- Rescuer, needs to get Roy off her radar so her
intention is to get him settled (and away from her.)
Marilyn, with a broken hip, is now in the osteo unit and Suzy is one of the nurses there.
7
Marilyn asks/begs Suzy to call the kid who’s pet sitting. With no info, she’s worried sick. The
meds she’s on make her confused, and the family doesn’t pick up the phone. Suzy also can’t get
through so she promises to stop by after work and also knock on the neighbor’s door. She fears
her dogs are frantic.
Suzy suggests that Roy who is extremely kind to animals. He might be a mooch, but when it
comes to animals, he’s a pet whisperer. He might eat your food, but he’d take care of your pets
and lock up. Marilyn’s home is close by and she gives Suzy her keys.
45 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – GYM
Kim: loud
Kim enters the Bellevue- and goes to the gym where she still has Marilyn’s pass but when she
tries to enter, they inform her that the membership is suspended. She loudly proclaims that, good,
that’s what a I want I was just making sure you didn’t cheat me and charge me when I clearly
suspended. Well done. Then she walks away.
46 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – HALLWAYS AND SUITE
Kim: Bit of a thief
Kim wanders the Bellevue and sneaks into a suite when housekeeping exits. On her way in, she
spots a break table with catering in a hallway. One of the wait staff looks at her oddly, so she
asks for Darjeeling tea, and the wait staff person goes to get it. Kim grabs food and slips into a
suite as housekeeping exits.
47 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – SUITE
Kim: loud self talk
Inside the suite, it’s all that. Kim tears off her clothes, checks out the mini bar, takes a shower,
turns on the tv and climbs into the lovely, rich sheets. She loudly talks to herself throughout.
When she leaves the suite, she rigs the door to be able to re-open it.
48. INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – GARDEN ROOM
Sunday Brunch
Roy: super mooch. Kim: also super mooch.
Roy goes down the catering line getting gorgeous shrimps, made for him eggs, etc and spots Kim
ahead of him in line. He slips back to her and flirts. She’s game. They agree to meet in a certain
stairwell.
49 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – STAIRWELL.
Roy: charmer. Kim: wants to believe.
Roy finds Kim in the designated stairwell and they have quite a feast. Roy spreads a napkin on
her lap, they compare food choices and share and they find in each other a fellow traveler.
They’re delighted.
50 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL- SUITE -CONTINUOUS
Roy: realizes that he’s lonely. Kim: is incredibly lonely. They are both mischievous.
Kim has invited Roy to her palace. It’s riskier than the balcony, but quite luxurious and private.
Plus, there’s a mini bar. They share stories but are platonic.
8
Roy and Kim brainstorm places to mooch/freeload and try to outdo each other. They make a list
of pros and cons and then a bucket list for the two of them: a spin the bottle game. This is an
emotional breakthrough. Neither of them has had this kind of buddy- ever or maybe as a child.
Kim calls for room service for the room across the hall.
51 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – HALLWAY AND THE OTHER ROOM
When the people from across the hall leave she catches the door and stays there until room
service arrives. Then she rolls it back to her suite
52 INT.BELLEVUE HOTEL – SUITE
She and Roy have another feast. Later, lux baths and they sleep in beautiful, but separate beds.
53 INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE -EVENING
Suzy: tries to correct every problem. Wants to get Roy off her radar.
Suzy stops by Marilyn’s house. The door is unlocked, the place is a disaster- the kid had a partyand
the dogs are freaked. She calls her nurses’ station and asks another nurse to tell Marilyn that
she’s in the house and will take care of the pets and everything. Then she feeds the dogs and
takes them out, locking the door behind her.
54. INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE- EVENING
When Suzy returns with the dogs, the kid who messed up the house is there with friends, tearing
up the place again. He’s shocked when she enters.
Suzy grabs the kid by the ear and makes him clean up the mess, grills and chastises him while
she watches. After the house is reasonably in order, she demands his keys- but he refuses to
give them to her. I will be here from now on. Don’t come back here. Exhausted, she leaves
another message for Marilyn that she’ll stay overnight. She hunts up one of the kids’ left-over
pizzas and crashes with the dogs on the couch.
55. INT. BUS – PARKSIDE – THE NEXT DAY
They ride to Kim’s cliffside haunt.
56. EXT. PARKSIDE- CONTINUOUS
Roy: charming, witty, kindhearted with strays (including Kim)
Kim: Off balance, lonely, desperate for allies.
She’s impressed with his gentleness and animal whisperer magic. He can’t believe that he
allowed someone to see this tender side.
Kim takes Roy to show him her house- the cliff/cabin. They stay out of sight. Roy doesn’t know
why they’re there. Kim changes from sunny to strung out. She starts loud self talk. Roy doesn’t
know how to deal with it. Kim tells him that the house belongs to her, too but Brian took it and
his wife is the one who pushed her down the steps. Roy becomes protective of her. Roy suggests
going to a festival in Atlantic City when a baby squirrel runs to Roy and climbs onto his foot. to
Kim, it’s a mystical sign. Roy finds the nest – 20 feet high in a tree- climbs it, and returns the
baby. Kim feels, for the first time, in the presence of someone who is decent, good and solid.
She’s touched and impressed. They find her secret ‘cove’ smoke weed, and climb back onto a
bus- this time headed for AC.
9
57. EXT. ATLANTIC CITY- FESTIVAL/CARNIVAL-MONTAGE
Roy: PTSD. Crazyass. Self-inflicted pain. Explosive.
Kim: Deep empathy. Can be kind.
Roy and Kim are in Atlantic City at a carnival. It’s a blast. They sneak onto rides, into fun houses
and steal food. But when Roy sees a family- a parent beats a kid while simultaneously, he hears
loud booms from one of the amusements- and his PTSD is triggered. He has a melt down- he’s
distraught and goes wild.
57a Roy jumps onto a stage, drags Kim onto the stage with him- cracks very bad sarcastic and
obscene jokes- borderline vicious and seems like an act. But for Kim, it’s a horrific scene. It feels
threatening. It escalates.
57b People haul him off and drag him into a
58. INT. ATLANTIC CITY FESTIVAL- HOLDING ROOM
The melt down moment is a big step toward Roy’s transformation.
Roy: Beaten down. Kim: motherly. Musical. Impulse to run.
Kim sits on the floor with him and sings and whispers to him, calms him. He reveals that he was
a soldier; that he’s death. He screams at her to get away from him and to let him die in a ditch.
She’s not deterred. She continues to whisper, sing and tell him that he’s a good man.
He looks at her; starts to come back to the world. His look says it all- that he needs her. That he
wants her. That he feels like maybe he’s alive when she’s there.
Kim is not stupid. She understands, so she gets up.
There’s a KNOCKING ON THE WALL when the POLICE arrive.
59. EXT. ATLANTIC CITY – OUTSIDE OF HOLDING ROOM
Kim convinces them that Roy’s OK, he just needs quiet for a while, and she leaves.
60. EXT. ATLANTIC CITY- BEACH- NIGHT
Roy: He’s fallen in love with Kim and hates himself for it.
Roy wanders the beach looking for Kim. He looks under the PIER. He contemplates drowning.
Under the pier, two teenagers make love. They shit talk him for watching- but he knows that they
will not be this innocent for long- that life will crush them eventually.
He comes back with a barrage of George Carlin riffs. They think he’s both funny and annoying.
When the laugh, he’s satisfied and leaves them in peace.
He follows a few day-trip church ladies on their way back to Philly.
61. INT. CHURCH LADY BUS
Roy: super mooch and charming.
He slides in with the ladies for a free ride back to Philly. He’s of the same age: super familiar,
and no-one questions whose boyfriend/husband he is. He partakes of the treats they pass around.
62. EXT. BUS STATION & CAFE ACROSS THE STREET
Suzy: caretaker. Wants to fix everything. Wants to get Roy off of her radar by setting him up
elsewhere. Roy: charming.
On a hunch, Suzy and the lawyer sit at an outdoor lunch place near the bus terminal. She and the
lawyer are hitting it off and he’s willing to humor her. Suzy wants to find Roy to set him up with
10
Marilyn’s house/pet sit. The hunch pays off. She spots him. Suzy and the lawyer convince him to
meet Marilyn about pet sitting/and to have an address for a while.
63. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT
Roy: charming. Tender with the damaged. Marilyn: fragile. Generous. Quick to make a decision
she might later regret. Another step toward Roy’s transformation.
Roy likes Marilyn but she’s asking for a commitment. The more hesitant he is, the more Marilyn
presses him. Suzy steps in to reassure both of them. She tells Marilyn about Roy’s many rescues:
a skunk, many feral cats, etc. Marilyn shows him snapshots of her dogs. They’re German
Shepherds-which tear at Roy’s heart because he loved a shepherd in Nam- a service dog with his
company, named Elsie. His response is wild – he barks like a dog- he whistles like the critters he
heard in the jungle- Suzy steps in. Marilyn is not dissuaded. She remembers this war, too.
Marilyn says he can use her address but he has to stick with it until she gets better and can go
home. She says the cupboards are full. Roy resigns himself to giving it a try. Suzy will take him
there when she gets off her shift.
64. INT. ATLANTIC CITY – A CLOSET – MORNING
Kim: resourceful
Kim, having slept in a casino meeting room closet in Atlantic City, grabs food off of a catering
table and heads into the sunlight.
65 EXT AC BEACH
Kim looks for Roy on the beach. She asks people if they’ve seen him. Then she bums a ride to
Philly with a couple who’ve gambled all night.
66 INT CAR
Kim makes up tales of losing a grand and the imaginary man who courted her and left her there,
broke. They share their food and drop her off at the Bellevue.
67 EXT./INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – HALLS AND BALCONY
Clever. But not enough.
Kim returns to the Bellevue. She heads to Roy’s balcony and but a suspicious houseman follows
her, so she has to make up a BS story to get away. Meanwhile, she’s blown his retreat because
they’ve discovered his things there. The houseman makes sure that she exits the building…
but she doesn’t go far
68. INT. UNDERGROUND CAR PARK CUBBY
Kim ends up in an underground car park in a heating/cooling cubby or in an unlocked van.
Act II mid-point sequence
Roy starts a progression of scenes where he slowly comes to terms with his past.
69 INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE
Roy sits alone with the dogs. He stares. He’s not sure he likes this new life. He’s a fish out of
water. He doesn’t even know how to turn on the TV. He closes all of the curtains- rumbles
around the house staring- he sits in every chair. he plays with the dogs, and tells them they’re too
11
good for him. One of the dogs is particularly loving to Roy, and starts to break Roy’s heart. He
struggles accepting this innocent, sweet creature- and wants to punish himself and sleep on
concrete- but he has made a promise. He’s so conflicted and hasn’t had to face this, at all, in 40
years- because this time, he has permission- and in so many ways, it’s so much easier when
everyone just wants you to die. To counteract this feeling he fashions a tent out of blankets and
he and the dogs crawl into it. The cocoon is more comforting.
70 INT. HOSPITAL – OSTEO UNIT
Kim goes to the hospital to ask Suzy if she knows where Roy is. Suzy tells Kim that she skipped
out without a doctor’s release- and she also, curiously, disappeared at the same time Suzy’s keys
disappeared. Kim acts the innocent on all counts. This is a big step for Kim, who avoids direct
confrontation and now has walked into it. Suzy is busy and doesn’t answer questions about
Roy’s whereabouts.
71 Marilyn: easily duped. Kim: reckless
On the way out, Kim sees Marilyn and stops by her doorway. Marilyn recognizes her from the
dressing room and asks this nice girl to visit. Marilyn has no idea that Kim stole her car.
72 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – MARILYN’S ROOM
Kim enters. She feels great remorse about the car but she knows that she escaped blame. Marilyn
and Kim hit it off. Kim is sisterly/motherly and fusses over Marilyn’s collar. Marilyn says that a
man named Roy is taking care of her pets but if anything happens, maybe you can do it- because
I’ll be here for 6 weeks…. “I knew you were a nice girl” is upsetting so Kim makes her excuse to
leave.
73 EXT./INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE & STREETS
Roy is anxious. Not accepting this easy life.
He walks the dogs and then carefully stows them in the house- well fed and loved. Then he goes
out walking.
74 INT. REVOLVING RESTAURANT- NIGHT & MORNING
Roy sneaks his way up the service elevator of a revolving restaurant. He hangs out in the
restroom until they close for the night. Then he emerges- He stares at the city below and falls
asleep on the floor. When Roy rises the next morning, a FILM CREW is setting up near the park.
75 EXT. STREETS
Desperate for his old life, Roy walks the dogs, and sits staring once again. He jumps up, goes to
the hospital
76 INT. HOSPITAL – OSTEO UNIT
and hands Marilyn her keys. Now they’re stuck finding a new sitter. Marilyn suggests Kim, but
who knows how to get ahold of Kim? Roy goes to the film set
77 EXT. FILM SET
Roy weasels his way onto the set and convinces them that he works on the pyro unit. He prefers
to sleep in one of the trucks, or even, in the honey wagon. He eats the catering, banters with the
guys and teaches them some of his tricks with explosives. He gets clothes from the costumer and
12
actually earns his way until payday, when he can’t get paid. The unions are pissed off. His
supervisor and pals who like him, give him some cash but he must leave. On his way out, he sets
pyro under the union boss’ trailer.
78 EXT. HOSPITAL
The windows vibrate with the explosion.
79 EXT. STREETS
Roy wanders. He looks for Kim in the secret places she mentioned.
Second turn-end of act 2: Roy is lost about what to do. He longs for Kim- doesn’t know if he
should go back to Marilyn’s- or just lie in a ditch…
80 EXT. CLIFFSIDE & CABIN
Kim is at the cabin near the cliffs again. This time, she peers into the windows. Empty. She
picks the lock and enters. She takes a shower, changes clothes which are clearly hers, and when
she leaves, she breaks as many mirrors, ceramic and glass items as she can- goes to the bus stop
and waits.
Act 3
81 INT. PIGGLY WIGGLY -DAY
Roy finally discovers Kim shoplifting. He’s thrilled. She shows him how to do it- They shoplift
sandwiches – wine.
82 INT. CITY HALL TOWER
They go up to the top of city hall and look over the city and have a picnic. Roy tells her about the
pet sit. Kim explains that she’s the ‘bitch’ who caused Marylin’s mess- Roy is lost. Kim softens
her stance and comforts him. She also wants to meet the dogs.
And sleep in the city hall tower- overlooking the city and holding each other tight. It’s brilliant,
and they kiss for the first time. They bond. They disclose secrets. This is big for both of them.
They sleep in the tower, and when Roy wakes, Kim is gone. Kim can’t face her demons, so she
has left in the night. It’s freezing all alone up there. This time, he suspects that she doesn’t want
to do this life without him, either. He feels hopeful that she’ll come around.
83 EXT. STREETS
On his way back to the hospital, Roy collapses on the street. People ignore him and step over and
around him. He leans against a building and bawls. He wanders his way to the hospital weaving
and weak.
84. INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY
Suzy checks him. High blood pressure. He hasn’t been taking his meds. (He didn’t buy them.)
He sits for a while and Marilyn spots him. She asks him to visit.
85. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT- MARILYN’S ROOM
(Reenlisting is a step toward Roy’s transformation.)
13
Marilyn is understanding and suggests that he share the gig with Kim. The thought makes Roy
more positive-but nobody knows how to get ahold of Kim.
86 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT- MARILYN’S ROOM- AFTERNOON
Roy shows up at the hospital with Marilyn’s dogs. Kim is there! Visiting with Marilyn.
The tour sequence/Montage
While daily checking in with the dogs and Marilyn, Roy and Kim trade favorite mooch places
and spend time at each.
87 INT. THEATRE
They spend a night at the theatre and Kim ‘treats’ Roy to the goodies, shows him around- he turns
on the lights- they even talk to the theatre ghost. As a prank, they move set pieces, and spell out
things with the costume shoes. They grab wigs and prosthetics for disguises when they leave.
88 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT
They take care of Marilyn’s dogs, and sneak the dogs in to see Marilyn. Marilyn is amused with
their get-ups. They bring Marilyn magazines and goodies from her home.
89 INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL
They get kicked out of the Bellevue. At first, disguised with wigs and wearing strange, pioneer
costumes, they escape the eye of security- on the lookout for them. However, they are
conspicuous! and draw the questions of amused guests. They slip into the back hallways, grab
food off of a Queen (tall cart) eat in their stairwell and get caught by a shocked engineer.
Security boots them out, but Kim has a laugh putting Roy’s mustache onto the guard, first.
90 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT
They take care of Marilyn’s dogs, and sneak the dogs in to see Marilyn. Kim trims Marilyn’s hair.
91 INT. MACY’S EX WANNAMAKER STORE
They spend a night under the pipe organ in the old Wannamaker department store. It’s very easy
to hide under clothes racks and storage cubbies, and both get a serious upgrade in clothing. The
food is limited to fancy cookies and chocolates, but so what? They still have to be quiet, thoughbecause
security roams the halls, even at night.
92 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT
They take care of Marilyn’s dogs. Kim paints Marilyn’s nails and sings to her.
93 INT. LONGWOOD GARDENS
They slip in with a tour group – cool back of house workings of the fountain! walk the outdoor
gardens and end in the heated greenhouse where Kim wants to sleep under the banana trees. The
tropical plants trigger Roy, though. He tells a harrowing story from VietNam, and they leave in
the middle of the night- hitchhiking back to Philadelphia and Marilyn’s home.
14
94 MARILYN’S HOUSE- NIGHT
The dogs are thrilled to see them, and they fall asleep on the floor in the living room, curled up
with the pups.
95 EXT. CLIFFSIDE & CABIN- LATE AFTERNOON
Bonded, and intimate now, Roy and Kim go to the cabin/cliff. Kim discloses her plan to burn the
place down and then, when her brother shows up, commit suicide in front of him. How could
this woman give up? The idea shocks Roy’s protective instinct and he vows to rescue her from
that fate. She admits what she did to Marilyn, and how she’s no better than her brother. Roy
makes a deal- you tell Marilyn what you did, and I will accept my fate and take Marilyn’s
address.
96 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – MARILYN’S ROOM
After Kim has told Marilyn what she did. She expects to be vilified and starts to leave. Instead,
after initial shock, Marilyn forgives and accepts Kim for who she is. She too, has done things she
hates but she never got the chance to admit them and apologize. She commends Kim for being
brave enough and sorry enough to ask forgiveness. The moment is cathartic for Kim, who has
never been fully accepted by anyone else but Roy.
97 EXT. HOSPITAL GROUNDS – DAY
Roy wheels Marilyn on the grounds but she has become increasingly frail. She falls over in her
wheelchair, and when Roy gets her back to her room- Suzy pulls him into the HALL and tells
him that Marilyn’s being transported to HOSPICE.
While/ INTERCUT
98 INT. MARILYN’S HOME- DAY
Kim has stayed behind with one of the dogs who’s sick. She roots around in Roy’s belongings
and finds the Medal of Honor, in a ragged old towel. Now she understands why he feels so much
guilt- honored despite the fact that so many people died at his hands.
CRISIS
99. INT. MARILYN’S HOME- LATER
Roy enters and finds Kim holding his Medal of Honor. She has a bottle of Jim Bean, pot, and a
warm bath for Roy. She scrubs his back and sings to him. He tells her about following a sketchy
order, yes sir! And he blew up what turned out to be a village. The sight of it in the morning was
more than he could bear. He deliberately blew off the fingers of his left hand so that he could
leave that place. That is where he learned to use humor as his weapon. Kim listens. She’s about
to disappear once again, and he begs her to stay. Or they should commit suicide together. Please
don’t leave him anymore. She leaves the room.
100. INT. MARILYN’S HOME- CONTINUOUS
In the hallway, she comes to a decision.
15
CLIMAX
101. EXT. CLIFFSIDE CABIN-NIGHT
Kim’s brother, Brian and his wife, Ingrid corner Kim. Kim has spray painted a vertical line
dividing the house. She’s labeled one half “Kim’s” and the other “The Scum”
Brian and Ingrid, pulling suitcases and heading out, spot Kim. They’re about to leave for 6
months in Europe. They have a huge argument, a blowout, threaten Kim with a psyche ward and
jail – and Kim finally speaks her mind- this time, calmly and assured. Roy witnesses it and now
he knows the full story- of how her home was taken from her, of how Brian tormented Kim even
as a child. Roy is reassured that what he’s about to do is right.
Brian is surprised that anyone cares at all about Kim or is in her life. This moment transforms all
of the characters- Kim, Roy, Brian, even Ingrid. Ingrid refuses to listen and drags Brian into their
car and they take off threatening that Kim will have to pay for the damages.
Roy says that he will try, every day, to forgive himself. He promises to be patient and accept her
in every way. Roy has a plan to stay mischievous. “Settle down” does not mean to ‘settle” Roy
promises an exciting and mischievous life for Kim and she agrees to stay. At least, for a while…
And then, Roy and Kim enter the house, turn on the gas full, and have a picnic on the cliff. After
they finish their wine, Kim opens a window, they back far away, and Roy tosses a Molotov
cocktail into the house. And the house explodes sky high.
RESOLUTION
102. INT. COURTROOM- DAY
Roy and Kim win the legal right to the deed housesit and put their names on the address. Marilyn
is there to sign. Suzy’s lawyer friend has helped figure this out. Marilyn feels so good that she
thinks she may even move back to the house and live with them, which makes Roy and Kim look
at each other and you know what they’re thinking: “Uh Oh. Gotta go.”
FADE TO BLACK
-
Matthew Frendo’s Character Outline
What I learned doing this assignment was how to fill my script with character actions during the outline phase. This should make the script full of character and more interesting to an audience.
– Concept –
What if the judicial system was switched to social media voting, with those found guilty having to go through livestreamed battles and deadly challenges as people at home vote on their punishment?
OPENING MONTAGE
A montage shows how the world switched the judicial system to social media voting, with everyone monitored and recorded constantly, as they give a quick rundown of how it all works.
-In the future, technology is only given to a select group of people who can “responsibly” wield it. They are the ones who decide who gets punished for their “sins.”
NOTE-THIS IS HOW IT WORKS: These people were voted to be morally wrong by users on social media and now must pay the price. They will go together into a maze and in that maze, each will have to go through a challenge room. If they survive whatever challenges are given, they live and the group moves on. If they die, the group moves on without them. And each room will also offer a pay-to-play option for viewers, letting people control a device in the room and kill the player themselves for a high cost.
Then they announce the start of the show.
INT. SOCIAL MEDIA VOTERS 1 – DAY
A family cheers, with three kids.
INT. SOCIAL MEDIA VOTERS 2 – DAY
A group of college aged friends party it up.
INT. SOCIAL MEDIA VOTERS 3 – DAY
A group of high society women gather together and watch happily.
INT. OPENING ARENA – DAY
CHARISMATIC: Host introduces characters.
These include wily loner ALICIA, ex-small time crook NICK, older, grizzled man CHESTER, and a small, taciturn girl named NATALIE, who is so quiet she can’t even speak to the audience. The host also points out JOHN “THE BULLET” SAWYER, the only player in 30 years to live through the games, who is living the high life with girls and food and booze in the crowd.
FEARFUL, CRAFTY: Alicia pleads for them to stop, saying she shouldn’t be there and that they picked the wrong person.
INT. ENTRY TO FIRST GAME – DAY
Some are nervous, Nick is ready to do it, believing he can win and make his life better.
FEARFUL: Alicia tells them all that they shouldn’t do it and that no one can make them.
While she gives her impassioned plea, the host shows them the–
INT. BOMB ROOM – DAY
A room at the bottom of the building where their closest friend or relative is being held. As a new twist to please the audience, if the players can’t finish in the time allotted, the bomb goes off and kills all their loved ones.
LONER DESCRIPTION: Alicia has no one there to save.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS: The host makes a joke about it, as the audience cheers the new development.
INT. ENTRY TO FIRST GAME – DAY
The first player, a baseball mom, gets a choice between a bat or glove. She chooses the glove, confident she can win and claiming the games are never as hard as they look. (Note: players can watch the game from the door, as it plays on a screen).
FEARFUL: Alicia chews her fingernails, watching on the screen.
INT. FIRST GAME ROOM – DAY
Once she’s in, they show her “sin.” And it turns out she is a closet racist. She is killed horribly and graphically.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS: Host makes pun about her death and crowd loves it.
INT. ENTRY TO SECOND GAME ROOM – DAY
The players watch the next person go in and start fighting…then can’t watch anymore. Some are now getting nervous and lashing out, while others turn morose.
CRAFTY: Alicia starts to look at everyone, thinking.
INT. WALK TO THIRD GAME – DAY
They talk about how they are all sitting ducks.
FEARFUL, BRAVE: Nick and Alicia are fighting about the games, with Nick defending them as a necessary way to make society good and Alicia taking the opposite opinion.
WELL EDUCATED: Find out Alicia and Chester are purges from the higher society.
MONTAGE – SM USERS DIDN’T KNOW PURGES COULD BE PUT IN GAMES
INT. ENTRY TO FOURTH GAME – DAY
Player doesn’t want to enter and fears dying alone. They make him go in, regretting it, but knowing it has to be done. They walk off before it’s even finished.
FEARFUL: Alicia walks off before player even loses.
INT. WALK TO FOURTH ROOM – DAY
They talk about where they’re from on the way, except Nick, who stays closed off.
WELL EDUCATED: Alicia speaks more knowledgeable about the world outside than the rest, except Chester, who is on her level.
INT. FOURTH GAME ROOM – DAY
Chester is having trouble in his room, which is a puzzle.
INT. ENTRY TO FOURTH GAME – DAY
Alicia watches the puzzle.
WELL EDUCATED, CRAFTY: Alicia starts to put puzzle together in her head.
INT. FOURTH GAME ROOM – DAY
Chester is getting the puzzle wrong and it’s getting worse as social media users start to come at him hard.
INT. ENTRY TO FOURTH GAME – DAY
CRAFTY. WELL EDUCATED: Alicia keeps doing the puzzle in her head, getting it. Then she thinks of the player before, not wanting to die alone…and gets an idea.
INT. FOURTH GAME ROOM – DAY
Chester is wrong and about to die when—
BRAVE, CRAFTY WELL EDUCATED, FEARFUL: –Alicia jumps in and starts doing it for him, nearly shaking in fear as she does.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
CHARISMATIC, CONSPIRING: Host talks about how this has never happened before to hushed crowd.
INT. SOCIAL MEDIA VOTERS 1 – DAY
The family starts to hoot and holler for their son to get her.
INT. FOURTH GAME ROOM – DAY
WELL EDUCATED, FEARFUL: Alicia starts to do the puzzle and save him. The SM voter is about to kill her, when Chester saves her. They finish the puzzle and win together.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS: Host makes a joke about how they won’t survive much longer.
MONTAGE – OPINIONS ON ALICIA ARE MIXED, WITH SOME HATING AND SOME STARTING TO LIKE
INT. BEHIND SCENES OF AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
The Bullet asks the Host if they are going to make it harder.
ARROGANT: The Host laughs it off, saying it was a one time thing that will boost clicks.
INT. ENTRY TO FIFTH GAME – DAY
CRAFTY: Alicia talks them all into working together to get out, but is really doing it just to get help for her own game.
They decide to work together to get out. Nick isn’t happy about it and says he’ll still be on his own. The rest agree to help, even after their own games, to help keep their loved ones safe.
INT. FIFTH GAME ROOM – DAY
The team wins by working together.
BRAVE, CRAFTY, FEARFUL, WELL EDUCATED: Alicia ends up leading them and figuring out how to win, but only as a way to keep herself safe, as she barely can keep her fear from showing until she’s out of the game.
INT. ENTRY TO FIFTH GAME – DAY
BRAVE: Alicia and the rest come out happy and excited.
FEARFUL: Alicia notices she’s shaking when no one is looking.
INT. SOCIAL MEDIA VOTERS 2 – DAY
People actually cheer for Alicia and team.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
RUTHLESS, ARROGANT: Host makes joke about Alicia dying.
The crowd boos him for the first time ever, as they cheer the team.
SOCIAL MEDIA VOTERS MONTAGE
Everyone is getting excited and starting to root for the players.
INT. ENTRY TO SIXTH GAME – DAY
The players are ready to go in, excited, when they call a sudden dinner break.
CUTS TO DINNER BREAK
INT. BEHIND AUDIENCE STAGE – DAY
CONSPIRING: Host is livid and worried about people liking the players and booing him, right before he is about to be promoted to Lt. Governor. He talks to Bullet and says something has to be done to make it right.
INT. DINNER – EVENING
Players are all put in separate rooms for dinner.
CONSPIRING, CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS: The Host enters Alicia’s room and offers her a life of a hero, with riches and glory, like Bullet’s, if she’ll play along. He wants her to stop the teamwork and he’ll make her room easy. He hints that there may be worse consequences if she doesn’t play along.
CRAFTY, WELL EDUCATED, FEARFUL: Alicia tries to get him to let everyone go, but it doesn’t work. He talks about her well-off upbringing and gives sympathy to what happened to her. But at the end, with his last words about consequences, caused her to shut down and stop talking in fear.
INT. HALLWAY – EVENING
CONSPIRING: The Host is walking away from Alicia’s room, when he sees Nick eating alone. He thinks for a minute, then enters.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – EVENING
They are interviewing Bullet at intermission. He thanks the audience for putting him through so much pain and making him a better person for the world.
INT. BEHIND SCENES OF AUDIENCE STAGE – EVENING
Moral authorities come to the host, worried about people working together and that it might give other citizens ideas about thinking for themselves and questioning the right way of things. They hint that his political future could be at risk.
CONSPIRING, ARROGANT: Host replies that they’ll fuck it all up themselves soon enough and then those ideas will vanish. But he looks worried, when they walk off and motions for Bullet to come over.
INT. ENTRYWAY TO ROOM 6 – EVENING
FEARFUL: Alicia changes her mind and says they shouldn’t work together after all. But she won’t look them in the eye as she talks.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – EVENING
CHARISMATIC: Host is relieved and makes joke to audience about how these low-levels can never work together for long.
INT. SIXTH ROOM – EVENING
Natalie goes in alone and even though the audience is easy on her, she is about to die. Chester goes in, glaring at Alicia.
FEARFUL: Alicia just stands there, silent.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – EVENING
Audience boos as Alicia stays behind.
INT. SIXTH ROOM – EVENING
They are both about to die, when—
BRAVE: –Alicia realizes they can’t do any worse to her than this, and comes in at the last minute to save Natalie. Right before the 3 are about to win, Nick enters and sabotages them, killing Chester. Now, only Alicia, Nick and Natalie are alive.
INT. ENTRYWAY TO ROOM 6 – EVENING
FEARFUL, BRAVE: Alicia is crying about Chester and confronts Nick. Find out Nick is doing this for his mother and that the Host offered him an easy game if he made sure they don’t’ work together. Then he tells Alicia how they knew each other—and how she was responsible for having him thrown in jail when she was stealing food herself and that led to him losing his job.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – EVENING
CONSPIRING, CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS: The Host is angry at Alicia, but smirks about it. Then he makes an announcement—and Bullet brings out Alicia’s long-lost father, not looking happy about it.
INT. ENTRYWAY TO ROOM 6 – EVENING
FEARFUL: Alicia crumples, seeing her father and hearing him say how much he looked for her after her family’s collapse. She watches them put him in bomb room.
INT. WALK TO ROOM 7 – EVENING
Natalie tries to talk to Alicia, but—
FEARFUL: –Alicia is a walking comatose patient.
INT. ENTRYWAY TO ROOM 7 – EVENING
Nick is now shaking in fear, and looks back for help but finds none. He goes in alone.
FEARFUL: Alicia just stands, watching, still comatose.
INT. SEVENTH ROOM – NIGHT
Nick’s room is supposed to be easy after doing what the host said…but it’s not. He goes in alone and does horribly. He is about to die, when—
BRAVE, FEARFUL, WELL EDUCATED: –Alicia rushes in to help and figures it out quickly. She isn’t going to make it. Then an audience member who paid to play stands down, letting both escape.
INT. ENTRYWAY TO ROOM 7 – EVENING
Nick wants to know why Alicia helped him.
BRAVE, FEARFUL: She tells him that this makes up for what she did to him and that she doesn’t think she can make it anyway, so he should save his mother. She also says they shouldn’t help her and just save themselves.
None of them can figure out why the audience didn’t kill them.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – NIGHT
ARROGANT: The host watches them leave the room, furious that the audience didn’t hurt them. Then he’s informed that they are going to bring the players onto the stage. He refuses, not wanting to talk to such “trash,” but they point out it’s done every year and it will look weak if they don’t do it now. This is the first year more than one person has made it this far.
INT. BEHIND AUDIENCE STAGE – NIGHT
Players get ready to go on stage and meet Bullet. Find out he does live the high life…but is never allowed to be alone or go outside without permission, so no one finds out how screwed up this thing made him.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – NIGHT
CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS: Host makes game out of character’s misfortune and talks down about them to audience.
They bring out the players to cheers…until little Natalie makes a speech that touches them all. It silences the place as the players walk off. A guard tries to manhandle her and the audience starts to throw things at the stage. They rush the players off.
BRAVE: Alicia fights back to save Natalie, bringing cheers.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Natalie tells Alicia she was her inspiration for speaking and gave he the confidence she needed.
BRAVE: Alicia hugs her and tells her that though she might be Natalie’s hero, Natalie is her hero.
INT. ENTRY TO ROOM 8 – NIGHT
Alicia’s room. They all agree, even Nick, to help her. And they still have minutes to go to stop the bomb, so should be no worries. Nick apologizes for his earlier actions.
BRAVE: Alicia says not to help her, but they refuse and say they will either way.
AUDIENCE MONTAGE
The audience all start to love them more.
INT. SEVENTH ROOM – NIGHT
FEARFUL: Alicia enters…and finds out her sin. She had a best friend as a kid, who helped her when she got picked on. When they got older, Alicia got pretty and the other girl didn’t and Alicia mocked her relentlessly to make friends. The girl ended up killing herself. Alicia buckles from the pain.
Then she looks at her challenge and sees that they purposefully made it too long to win.
CRAFTY, BRAVE: Alicia decides to sacrifice herself to save her father and her friends’ loved ones. But right before she is about to die—
BOOM
Bomb room blows up anyway.
INT. SEVENTH ROOM – NIGHT
CHARISMATIC, RUTHLESS, CONSPIRING, ARROGANT: Host comes out and explains that Chester wasn’t fully dead. And since he didn’t complete the maze, it isn’t finished. Then they show Chester on life support…just before he dies for real. Since they wouldn’t make it in time anyway, he figured he would be nice and blow the room up now and stop Alicia from hurting herself (and becoming a martyr). He also states that Alicia’s willingness to sacrifice herself proved that the games took away her sin of Pride.
BRAVE, FEARFUL: Alicia and the players fight back, as troops come in to protect the host, tears streaming due to their lost relatives.
The military has them until—
CRAFTY, BRAVE: Alicia tells the players who paid to play start using their weapons against the military.
ARROGANT: Host laughs it off, thinking no one will–
–until players do start helping the players out.
A battle ensues.
BRAVE, CRAFTY: Alicia and—
RUTHLESS, ARROGANT: –Host face off.
Alicia beats the host, and then lets Bullet kill him for all the host put him through.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
BRAVE: Alicia and the players walk out of the hall, away from the game.
-
PS81 – Dana’s Character Outline
What I learned from this assignment:
As I developed this outline, I realized my antagonist’s core traits were insufficient for the horrific events that befall her. I spent several days rewriting my main characters traits, which delayed this assignment. Their core traits will evolve as I write the script, but this assignment have given me a good starting point.
FIRST TIME CALLER – CHARACTER OUTLINE
1. INT./EXT. ELLEN’S CAR – DAY
SETUP: Ellen Landry gets a call from her husband, Roger, who tells her his car won’t start. He called Uber and plans to drop their daughters at school before heading to work.
SYMPATHIC/FLAW/SUBTEXT – Ellen concedes to pick up their children after school after Roger complains about his work conflict, putting his career before hers, and vents after she hands up.
ANXIOUS: Ellen learns from her producer, Claire, that she’s missing her meeting with the station manager. Ellen completely forgot. Nervous, hurrying, she spills her coffee on her skirt.
2. EXT. STATION – DAY
ANXIOUS: Ellen parks and grapples with her purse and computer bag as she hurries inside.
3. EXT. RECEPTION – DAY
ANXIOUS: Ellen’s producer meets her in a panic and hurries Ellen into the conference room.
4. INT. CONFERENC ROOM – DAY
INSECURE: Ellen enters sheepishly and sits down as the meeting is adjourned. She’s mortified. The station manager, Pete, meets with her about her ratings. They need to improve, or he’ll have to release her.
5. INT. RESTROOM – DAY
HOPEFUL/PARADOX: Claire enters looking for her. Ellen tells her about the manager’s threat to replace her. All she needs is one great show.
6. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Pete enters. Ellen’s producer scolds him for his poor people skills. He admits he’s a schmuck, but the owner is concerned and wants him to find Ellen’s replacement just in case.
7. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
ANXIOUS: Ellen settles in at her microphone. She notices Pete hovering.
SYMPATHETIC/PARADOX: Ellen listens to the first caller’s problem, but she reverts to usual form and does not connect with caller. Pete leaves disappointed.
8. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Claire screens another caller, Jason, who claims to have multiple personalities. Perfect! Claire puts Jason through immediately.
INCITING INCIDENT
9. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
PARADOX/FLAW: Ellen engages Jason, but the call goes sideways when Jason warns that his violent personality has kidnapped Ellen’s family and that he intends to kill them one by one on-air unless she can excise the violent personality by the end of the show.
Suddenly, Jason argues with someone– another personality – and the call drops. Stunned, Ellen and her producer stare at one another. The producer goes to a commercial.
10. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Pete returns and quips about boring calls.
11. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
ANXIOUS: Ellen tells them Jason was an ex-patient who suffered from dissociative identity disorder. Worried, Ellen calls her husband. The call goes to voicemail. She calls the school. Her daughters haven’t arrived. The school will call when they do.
Pete leaves to call the police and as a precaution.
ANXIOUS: Claire keeps Ellen from unravelling. Ellen takes the next call, but she’s obviously distracted and concerned about her family.
12. INT. DETECTIVE SQUAD – DAY
Detective Sorenson is assigned the investigation. He complains the case is a snipe hunt.
13. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
ANXIOUS: Ellen calls Roger during a commercial break. Nothing. She calls his work. He hasn’t arrived yet. And the school hasn’t called back. She’s more on edge.
14. INT. RECEPTION – DAY
The manager greets Sorenson when he arrives and explains the situation.
15. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson questions Ellen and her producer about the call.
16. INT. ON-AIR STUDIO – DAY
HOPEFUL: Ellen tells him everything she remembers about Jason.
Sorensen asks the routine questions and reassures her not to panic. He asks for a private room.
17. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Sorenson starts an investigation, although he still thinks it’s a snipe hunt.
18. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
POLITE/CALCULATING: Ryan calls, and Claire screens his call. “Long time listener. First time caller.” He engages Ellen in polite conversation, but Ellen is perplexed why exactly he’s called.
19. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Sorenson learns the caller is using the husband’s phone. He bolts back to the control booth.
20. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
SINISTER: Ryan puts Roger – Ellen’s husband – On-air. Frightened to death, Roger confirms he and their two daughters have been kidnapped by Ryan, the violent personality.
21. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson runs into the booth in time hear Ryan explain the rules.
SINISTER/POLITE/SUBTEXT: Ryan will only talk with Ellen. Her show can never leave the air – not even for a commercial, etc.
22. INT. ON AIR BOOTH – DAY
ANXIOUS/SUBTEXT: Ellen listens intently to every rule.
FLAW/VIOLENT: Ryan’s last rule: Ellen must talk Ryan down or he’ll shoot her family one at a time starting at the top of the hour.
Ellen looks to the clock as it ticks toward the next hour.
FIRST TURNING POINT – END OF ACT 1
23. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson jumps into the investigation. Track the husband’s phone. Find the Uber driver. Put SWAT on standby. Find the sister in Memphis.
24. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
ANXIOUS: Ellen, in shock, pleads with Ryan. Why is he doing this?
PARADOX/SUBTEXT: Ryan is giving her second chance to redeem herself after failing Jason and abandoning him for the “circus” (radio).
25. EXT. STATION – DAY
A TV van arrives. The reporter and camera men jump out.
26. INT. RECEPTION – DAY
The receptionist spies the TV van arriving outside and calls the manager.
27. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
The manager tells Sorensen about the media. Sorenson says no statements. Jason is probably watching TV. Send people home. Lock down the station.
28. INT. RECEPTION – DAY
The manager is stunned as more vans and reporters arrive. The receptionist answers a call. The owner wants to speak to the manager.
29. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
HOPEFUL/PARADOX: Ellen struggles to engage with Ryan, asking to speak with Jason.
SINSTER/PARADOX: Ryan refuses, but he understands her fears and insists she try to engage him as a psychiatrist rather than a victim. He pushes her hard.
SECRET: Ellen reveals her mother’s illness. How she wants to help others because of her mother.
30. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson gets a call. The GPS on the husband’s phone and the Uber driver’s car place them both at the driver’s home. SWAT is enroute. Sorenson signals Ellen to stall. They’re close.
31. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
SYMPATHETIC/HOPEFUL: Ellen engages Ryan, struggling to talk him down. Stalling.
POLITE/SPECIAL: Ryan tosses her psychiatry back in her face, challenging her to do better.
Minutes tick away.
32. INT. SWAT VAN – DAY
The SWAT commander instructs his men on the plan. It’s a hostage situation. Full breach.
33. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
SYMPATHETIC/ANXIOUS: Still engaged with Ryan, Ellen watches the clock as the hour approaches.
34. INT. HOUSE – DAY
SWAT kicks the front door and storms inside.
35. INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
The Uber driver is dead. Ellen’s family isn’t there. But SWAT finds the husband’s phone.
36. INT. CONTROL ROOM – DAY
Sorenson is told the bad news. Ryan left the husband’s phone behind so the police would track the GPS signal to the driver’s home. Ryan is using a burn phone with a spoof number to call the station, an app that allows him to pirate the husband’s number to disguise his own.
37. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
SINISTER: Laughing at police incompetence, Ryan tells Ellen it’s time for her choose one member of her family to die. He threatens her daughters.
ANXIOUS/HOPEFUL: Ellen pleads for him not to harm them
VIOLENT: Ryan choses her husband by default. Ellen listens to Ryan drag her husband into the room. Roger tells Ellen he loves her. Ryan shoots him on air. Ryan says, “We’ll be right back after this short break,” and hangs up.
Ellen flees the booth, hysterical.
38. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson chases after Ellen, and she falls into his arms, sobbing. She says she’s going to be sick.
39. INT. RESTROOM – DAY
CHARACTER ARC: Sorenson kicks open the door. Ellen falls into a stall and throws up. Sorenson urges her to be strong. She slaps him, taking out her frustration, and collapses to the floor, unable to go on. Sorenson holds her. He tells her she can’t stop. She must be strong for her daughters.
40. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
In a panic, Pete argues with Claire about the dead air. Claire fires back, frustrated, reminding him of Ryan’s rules. The station cannot break from the show.
41. INT. RESTROOM – DAY
Sorenson holds Ellen as she recovers. What can she tell him about Jason?
HOPEFUL: Ellen’s patient files are on her laptop in her office. “Please save my daughters.”
Pete enters. The caller is back and asking for Ellen.
42. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
SUBTEXT/SYPATHETIC: Ellen returns, but it’s not Ryan on the call. It’s a young boy, Bobby – Jason’s protective personality. She engages Bobby. He confirms Roger is dead, but her daughters are safe.
CHARACTER ARC: Ellen falters, barely able to speak, silent and wiping tears. She stares at nothing, deep in thought. She listens to Bobby.
43. INT. OFFICE – DAY
Sorenson opens Ellen’s laptop. He opens Jason’s file and reads. We see Jason’s picture.
44. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Ellen’s producer and the station manager try to get Ellen to engage Bobby. Sorenson enters carrying Jason’s printed patient file. Everyone looks to him concerned.
MIDPOINT
45. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
AMBITIOUS/ARC: A determined look appears in Ellen’s eyes. Her emotions under control, she speaks with Bobby about William. Does he remember William? Everyone wonders what she’s doing.
46. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson scans Jason’s patient file and looks to Ellen stunned. He tells the others that William is a manic-depressive personality with suicidal fantasies. Realizing her intentions, Sorenson warns Ellen her strategy is dangerous and ill-advised.
47. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
AMBITIOUS/ARC: Ellen ignores Sorenson and engaged Bobby, determined to save her daughters – her way. She’s becoming the psychiatrist she needs to become.
48. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson realizes Ellen’s in control. “It’s her show now.”
49. INT. ON AIR BOOTH – DAY
SYMPATHETIC: Ellen delves into Bobby’s psyche. She tries to draw William to the surface. But Bobby resists. He tells her that he never liked William. “He’s always in a bad mood.”
50. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson receives a call from the police. They have tracked down Jason’s sister. They transfer the call to him. The sister tells Sorenson everything she knows. Will she talk to her brother on air?
51. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
MANIPULATIVE: Ellen asks Bobby if he will let Jason speak to his sister. Bobby reluctantly agrees, and when Jason is heard, Ellen puts the sister on air to speak with him.
SYMPATHETIC: Ellen listens to the sister plead with Jason to stop, tormenting Ellen’s conflicted emotions. But when the sister cannot convince Jason to stop, Ellen delves deeper into Jason’s psychosis to draw out William.
52. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
The department alerts Sorenson they may have a lead on Jason’s location, but they need time.
53. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
ARC/POWERFUL: William reveals himself to Ellen, but Ellen hesitates. This is her point of no return. Once she engages William, there is no going back. William inquires again. Ellen engages him. “Hello, William.”
SECOND ACT TURNING POINT – END OF ACT 2
54. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson gets the call. They have a fix on Jason. Units are on the way.
55. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
ARC/POWERFUL: Ellen doctors William. Does he understand the situation? Does he understand what Ryan has done?
56. EXT. BRIDGE – DAY
SWAT and the police race across the bridge. VOICEOVER of Ellen speaking to William is heard.
57. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
SYMPATHETIC/POWERFUL: Anguished by the harm she’s causing, Ellen still persists. She presses William hard. Does he want the death of her children on his conscience? She implores William that the only way for him to stop this madness is for him to kill Ryan, which means killing himself.
58. INT. SWAT VAN – DAY
The SWAT team getting ready.
59. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
POWERFUL: William pleads for Ellen to stop, but she continues with tears running, torturing herself as she sacrifices her humanity to save her daughters
CRISIS: VIOLENT: Ryan intercedes, realizing what Ellen is attempting. He threatens to kill one daughter – now!
POWERFUL: Ellen confronts Ryan hard, pitting the two personalities against each other. She pushes William to find the strength to do what he must. The two personalities fight for dominance, the gun in hand.
60. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson on his phone. SWAT is almost there. The clock is ticking. Sorensen yells they’re out of time.
61. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
POWERFUL: Ellen in full psychiatric mode.
VIOLENT: The two personalities fight like two people in an argument. Ellen pushes William to stop Ryan. To save her daughters!
62. EXT. ABANDONED BUILDING – DAY
The SWAT team swarms the building.
63. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
CLIMAX: William pleads for Ellen to stop.
HOPEFUL/POWERFUL: Ellen tells him to look at her daughters. She tells him their names, pressing harder.
VIOLENT: The personalities go back and forth, William then Ryan until – the gun goes off!
ANXIOUS/HOPEFUL: Ellen jumps from her chair. Nothing. Silence. She stares at everything and nothing. Everyone holds their breathes. She hears SWAT kick the door. Lots of noise and confusion. The call drops. Ellen is unable to breathe.
Moments hang like minutes. Sorenson bursts in. Jason is dead. Her daughters are safe.
CHARACTER ARC: Ellen collapses, sobbing. “What have I done? What have I done?”
Sorenson: “What you had to do.”
64. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Press and photographers surround the station. Sorenson walks Ellen to a waiting car.
65. INT. CAR – DAY
The car pulls away from the station. Ellen looks back at Sorenson who’s watching her leave. She places her hand against the glass to wave goodbye.
66. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson watches Ellen drive away. Camera flashes and questions assail him.
67. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Back at the station, Sorenson receives a call from a local physician. He tells Sorenson that Jason was being held for 10-day observation at his clinic under a different name and that he was only released that morning. How could he have planned the kidnapping while he was being held for observation?
Sorenson confirms the physician’s story and realizes Ryan was not one of Jason’s personalities. He was a different person all along, running a sadistic game against Ellen.
68. CUT TO BLACK
VOICEOVER: A morning talk show host is talking about Ellen.
69. EXT. CITYSCAPE – MORNING
VOICEOVER: The host discusses the aftermath of Ellen’s misery. The first caller tells the host he loves the show. It’s Ryan, who says, “I’m a long times listener. First time caller.”
-
Antonio Flores’ Character Outline
ASSIGNMENT 1
———————–
Update your outline by adding the Character Arc parts you like to your outline.
ASSIGNMENT 2
———————–
Add character to each scene in your outline. For your two lead characters, look at each scene they are in and see how something from their profile might play through their actions.
1. Pull out your Lead Character Profiles and your Outline.
2. With each scene, ask the following questions:
What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
3. Rewrite the main actions of each scene to deliver character.
<hr>
A. Concept:
A cheerleader fights in the underground MMA to rescue her fiancé, a fighter abducted and poisoned by criminals to steal a secret that he keeps – now she must win the antidote in a deadly cage tournament.
B. Plot Choice:
Escape
C. Character Structure: Dramatic triangle
Three characters (Parisa, Badahur, Philip) wrapped up in a web where there are deeper implications to their relationships than what we see in the beginning.
Parisa wants Bahadur back. Eventually, she finds out that she has been targeted by Philip’s predatory nature and that he is also a deadly threat to Bahadur
Badahur wants Parisa out of danger, but she is his only hope. As the poison makes him weaker and weaker, he depends on Philip for protection, but he knows Philip could kill him as well.
Philip’s task is to prevent Bahadur to give away the secret, even if he had to kill him to accomplish this — rescuing him is just another option. He considers Parisa an extra load, but he likes her looks.
The three of them want to escape the Ruler’s evil hunting.
D. Lead Characters
PARISA, a cheerleader coach who fights in the underground MMA to rescue her fiancé.
BAHADUR is Parisa’s fiancé, an underground MMA fighter who was poisoned with a time-bound substance as he unwillingly keeps the secret location of an strategic weapon.
PHILIP is a secret agent whose task is preventing Bahadur to give away the secret, even if it was necessary to kill him — he eventually becomes a threat to Parisa and Bahadur.
THE RULER is the head of the underground MMA, which is a screen to hide the criminal organization that wants to steal Bahadur’s secret.
E. Dramatic Question:
Can Parisa become a fighter, win the poison’s antidote and get her fiancé back?
F. Main Conflict:
The Ruler wants to steal the secret as much as he craves for torturing Parisa and her friends, so even by winning the tournament, their escape is pretty much unlikely… and the clock is ticking.
G. Dilemma:
To get the antidote, Parisa must win a fight to death and become an assassin or give up the life of her fiancé.
H. Theme:
To escape, sometimes you need to stop running
I. Character Arc of Lead Character (if any):
The journey of a fearful cheerleader who becomes a fearless MMA fighter.
1. The Issue:
Parisa suffers of acute stress disorder, a type of anxiety caused by the traumatic experience of having watched her sister falling from top of a building and dying. Parisa re-experiences this traumatic event through recurrent images, thoughts, dreams, illusions, flashback episodes or a sense of reliving the experience, which could leave her totally vulnerable, say, in a fight.
2. Escalating Challenge:
Challenge 1: Anxiety accounts for Parisa’s sleeping difficulties. In the opening scenes, Parisa goes for a workout in the middle of the night.
Challenge 2: When brawny female underground champion, Ruthless, threatens Parisa to death, she gets numbed and unable to defend herself.
Challenge 3: When Ruthless blatantly kills her bosom friend Sandy in front of her eyes, Parisa experiences a flashback linking the falling of her sister with Sandy’s head hitting the canvas. A deep wound gets reopened.
Challenge 4: When Ruthless chokes Parisa in the opening match of the tournament, Parisa impersonates Sandy and falls inoperative.
3. The Transformation:
In the tournament final, Parisa fights Shanaz, the Ruler’s Favorite, on top of a high scaffold, where she envisions pressing the treadmill UP buttons and going for HIGH levels all her life.
J. Structure of your screenplay (9 beats, one sentence each):
1. Opening
INT. A GLOOMY, SHABBY FITNESS ROOM (PARIS) – NIGHT
In the middle of the night, PARISA gets ready to workout. She croons a song about loneliness.
Pictures on the wall show reminiscences of her career as cheerleader and coach. She replaces the tape partially blocking a legend “Mom & Dad’s—“ engraved on a frame with a picture of her as a child.
She presses the up arrows on the treadmill console as she croons the sad song. She wipes off the tears from her eyes and takes a deep breath to swallow the pain.
The treadmill ship sets sail into the workout with Parisa at the helm. She combines Thai boxing moves with jogging.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE (NEW YORK) — SAME TIME
Parisa’s fiancé, BAHADUR faces SHAHNAZ, a massive, muscle-packed fighter. Bahadur is in a daze. There is a cut in his arm. On the opponent’s corner, A MAN IN A TUNIC holds up a knife and grins. Poison.
2. Inciting Incident
INT. A GLOOMY, SHABBY FITNESS ROOM (PARIS) — NIGHT
A TEXT PREVIEW displays on Parisa’a cellphone screen. Parisa’s uncle, MMA manager, SYLVAIN says: “I’M SORRY. HE’S GONE. THEY TOOK HIM”. Parisa wipes her tears and texts back: ‘HELP ME. I MUST FIND HIM.”
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
INT. SYLVAN’S CAR – DAY
Parisa fills uncle Sylvain with the details of the break up. Badahur said that he had to go with Philip and ditched her. Sylvain offers to help Parisa break into the underground MMA world.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Sylvain introduces Parisa to the underground MMA RINGMASTERS. Parisa gets in the cage for an “audition.” She gets badly beaten, but the ringmasters want her great looks on the show. They sign her in.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE — NIGHT
It’s Parisa’s debut night. Once again, she gets badly beaten.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — FEMALE LOCKERS — LATER
Parisa bumps into SANDY, an old schoolmate. She works as a janitor and helps female fighters. Sandy takes care of Parisa’s injuries. “How bad is it?” Parisa asks.
INT. SYLVAIN’S CAR — DAY
Parisa wonders how long it will take for her to develop MMA fighter skills. Sylvain persuades her to try dance.
Parisa refusal escalates from insecurity: “I… I’m not sure. I mean… are you sure?” to polite decline: “I mean, I respect your point, but… does that, uh, work?” to refusal: “NO! Big NO! I need to fight.”
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — FEMALE LOCKERS — NIGHT
Sandy takes care of Parisa’s injuries. “How bad is it?” Parisa asks. Sandy judges that Parisa will live, but she should learn to fight.
Parisa is scared: “I need to be a fighter (sobs) and I, I don’t even know if I got what it takes, but (sobs)”. When her anxiety takes over, she gets depressed. “I’m not a fighter! Oh my, what I was thinking! That (beat) that cage… I’ve been thrown to the lions! Now (beat) now what?
Sandy agrees with Sylvain’s crazy idea: Parisa should take dance lessons!
INT. COLLAGE 1: DANCE LESSONS — DAY
Parisa shows how charming she is in latin rhythms: salsa, tango and samba. She can bend very low in the “limbo.” Yet, dance lessons leave her with a sense of avoidance and guilt.
Parisa looks at her dancing queen dress. “This isn’t fair, “B” might be in danger and I… I’m here just dancing” “ I wonder what B would say if he saw me like this. Bet he would hate me.”
INT. COLLAGE 2: MARTIAL ARTS LESSONS — DAY
Parisa discovers that the dance coaches are masters of Chinese Shuaijiao (wrestling) and Brazilian Capoeira. She shows them respect: “I’m willing to put as many hours as this might take, OK?” ”Promise me this is going to work. Promise?”
INT. COLLAGE 3: MARTIAL ARTS LESSONS — DAY
The masters help Parisa build martial arts strengths from her cheerleader attributes: agility, coordination, sense of space-time, fast-twitch explosive muscles. Parisa follows their instructions and puts lots of effort.
INT. COLLAGE 4: MARTIAL ARTS CAPOEIRA INSTRUMENTS — DAY
Parisa discovers a type of spurs (knives) in Maestre Oliveira collection. Maestre Oliveira’s disciple wears the spurs. Cuts a dummy´s middle section, legs, and neck. Parisa does a butterfly shuanzi jumping kick. Chops a dummy’s neck
INT. COLLAGE 4: MARTIAL ARTS: ROPE DART — DAY
Parisa observes the rope-dart. She awkwardly manipulates it, but perseveres in the face of difficulty. After several attempts throwing the dart and missing the target… she finally lands the dart on the bullseye.
INT. COLLAGE 5: MIXED MARTIAL LATIN — UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa dodges punches, limbo arching back to avoid a back spinning kick. Pinned down, she kicks back from the floor Capoeira style. The opponent tumbles down. Another night, she tango steps and pins down the opponent. And another night, she locks opponent’s neck to submission… her arm gets raised — a win!
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — FEMALE LOCKERS
Sandy celebrates with Parisa her first win. Sandy wants to be a fighter, too. Parisa warns Sandy that because of her lack of training in MA, she could get hurt. Her words hit a soft spot. Sandy gets offended. Walks away.
EXT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY ROOF – NIGHT
Parisa monitors the MMA facility from top of the roof. A man “Parkour-jumps” from another building onto the roof of the MMA facility. He is PHILIP, the man who run away with her fiancé. As Parisa confronts him, THE RULER’S MEN attack them. Parisa and Philip run.
EXT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY – NEARBY STREET – CONT
A second group intervenes. They are heavily armed. The Ruler’s men run away. Philip is gone, too.
EXT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY – NEARBY STREET – CONT
The leader of the group gives Parisa a package: “This is not the antidote, but it will keep him alive.” Parisa is confused. Antidote? Badahur is not with Philip? Before she can ask any question, they’re gone.
5. Mid-Point
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — UNDERGROUND MAZE — NIGHT
Parisa searches for her fiancé. She bumps into RUTHLESS, a brawny female fighter, She threatens Parisa to death if she ever mess around with her or dares to cross her path in the octagon. Parisa gets numbed-frightened and unable to defend herself.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — FEMALE LOCKERS — NIGHT
Sylvain escorts Parisa to the lockers. “Good fight. Now rest. It’s Open Fight Night. I’m going back to check the new talents.” Parisa let her body stumble on the massage table. Closes her eyes. “How bad is it?” Parisa asks. Nobody answers. “Sandy… Sandy? Sand— Oh, no!” Parisa rushes back to the octagon cage.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE — SAME TIME
It’s “Open Fight Night.” Sandy finds her way into the cage with… Ruthless. Parisa begs ringmasters to cancel that fight. Nobody listens. Ruthless kills Sandy in front of Parisa’s eyes. Parisa experiences a flashback linking the falling of her sister with Sandy’s head hitting the canvas. A deep wound reopens. Parisa cries. A ringmaster says: “What? It was an accident, uh?”
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — UNDERGROUND MAZE — LATER
Philip finally gets Bahadur out of captivity. Parisa follows them close.
EXT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — NEARBY STREET
They get ambushed and imprisoned by The Ruler’s men.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
INT. CARGO CONTAINER — NIGHT
They get transported to a secret place somewhere in the middle of the desert. On the road, Bahadur fills Parisa with all details about his abduction, the poison, Philip, and explains that breaking up was a way to protect her.
INT. CARGO CONTAINER — ONE NIGHT LATER
Parisa asks Bahadur why he uses the name Persian Warrior. Badahur describes how Persian warriors used their environment, hide in the desert sands, etc.
INT. DESERT – RULER’S PLACE – DAY
Parisa, Bahadur, and Philip step into the darkness of a dome. Augmented reality starts as they enter the cage.
INT. DESERT – RULER’S PLACE – DAY
LIONS. The cage suddenly appears in the middle of the Roman Coliseum. The Lions run towards the octagon. The cage opens up! THE LIONS… fade away.
INT. DESERT – RULER’S PLACE – DAY
THE RULER’s voice rings in every corner. His vision: this place will be the Mecca of underground MMA fights. Parisa and friends will test drive the project. If they want the antidote and their freedom, they must play and win the final match.
EXT. DESERT – RULER’S PLACE – DAY
Badahur asks the Ruler, “What if we just gave you the secret?” The Ruler laughs: “Secrets are a burden that YOU may want to get rid of. You will soon beg me to take that burden away from you. Now, let’s play.”
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Parisa trains under the guidance of Bahadur and Philip. Bahadur asks: How do you say “help me” in French? Parisa teaches Bahadur: Aidez – moi
INT. DESERT – GUARDS TENT – NIGHT
Parisa, Bahadur and Philip are thrown into a 3:3 bareknuckle team fight. Rules change on the spot, Bahadur is too weak. Philip ends up fighting the three men. He gets defeated.
INT. DESERT – GUARDS TENT – NIGHT
Rules change. Parisa is now the prize for the three winners to hunt. The referee cuts Parisa’s t-shirt open with a knife. Parisa snatches the knife and stabs the referee. She runs away into the desert. The three men split up to hunt her.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — NIGHT
She rips off her t-shirt and attaches the knife: a makeshift rope-dart. Parisa buries herself in the dune sand.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — NIGHT
Parisa ambushes her FIRST OPPONENT, a knife-thrower assassin with FOUR knives in his hand. Parisa only has ONE knife… attached to a rope. She throws and retrieves the rope-dart using feet, elbows, and waist before her opponent can throw even once.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — CONT
Parisa rips off his clothes. Makes stripes to tie and gag him up.
Parisa produces a pair of makeshift Capoeira spurs. She attaches the knife-thrower’s knives to her ankles. Parisa buries herself in the dune sand.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — LATER
Parisa comes out of the sand. She advances with quick steps forward, each punting sand towards her SECOND OPPONENT. She takes down her second opponent using the makeshift Capoeira spurs attached to her ankles.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — CONT
Parisa rips off the clothes of her second opponent. She ties him up and uses the rest of the stripes to attach the claimed knives to her wrists. Once again, Parisa buries herself in the dune sand.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — LATER
The THIRD OPPONENT wears a LONG, THICK BRAID wrapped around his neck. He is the strongest of the three men. As if guided by a sixth sense, he thrusts his hands into the sand and digs Parisa out.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — CONT
Parisa recovers and advances with quick steps and back kick turns punting and lifting sand. She does a butterfly shuanzi kick. Cuts the braid with the spurs. Her move leaves a scratch on the opponent’s skin right above the jugular vein.
EXT. DESERT DUNE — CONT
Parisa ties and gags up the man. She rips off his clothes… except for his shirt. An AKA touches the back of Parisa’s head. “Mom says, dinner is ready. Time to go back.”
INT. DESERT – GUARDS TENT – LATER
Parisa enters the tent. She wears the shirt of her third opponent as a trophy. Guards armed with AKAs bring the defeated opponents in. The Man in a Tunic is in charge now. He orders Shanaz “The Ruler’s Favorite” to kill the three men and the referee.
7. Crisis
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Parisa keeps training under the guidance of Bahadur and Philip. Philip wants to seduce Parisa. She rejects him.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT
Philip figures out that by reducing Bahadur’s medicine dose, he can kill him and get Parisa.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT
Philip lures Parisa to do a prep workout with him alone. He tries to rape her. Philip admits that he wants to have her before Ruthless rips her into pieces. His words enrage Parisa. She fights back and breaks his knee.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT
The Man in a Tunic arrives to the spot where Philip lies unconscious. Guards hold Philip still. CRACK!… He puts Philip’s knee back in place.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Parisa fights Ruthless in the first match of the tournament. Parisa gets the upper hand. The rules change: Parisa must kill her opponent. Parisa refuses.
EXT. DESERT – OUTSIDE THE UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
The Man in a Tunic points a gun at Bahadur. Philip does not intervene.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Ruthless takes Parisa by surprise and chokes her with a neck lock. Unable to breathe, anxiety impairs Parisa. She re-lives Sandy’s killing, but this time, Parisa impersonates Sandy. Falls numb, unable to fight back
EXT. DESERT – OUTSIDE THE UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Badahur snatches the gun from the Man in a Tunic and threatens to shoot him. He makes Ruthless release Parisa and step back. Parisa remains on the floor. Cries.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Ruthless frees Parisa. Ruthless cynically giggles at Bahadur. Over and over, she pretends attacking Parisa then stops.
SUPERNATURAL MEET
In her hallucination, Parisa makes amends with Sandy, who, as usual, encourages her to keep fighting. Parisa asks Sandy if she wants to take over. A voice says: “What the heck! Who knows, uh?”
EXT. DESERT – OUTSIDE THE UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Ruthless is too close to Parisa. This time, Badahur fires at Ruthless, but the gun is empty. They were played on.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – CONT
Ruthless laughs insane. She throws herself in the air to land on Parisa. She is in mid-air about to stumble on her, when she suddenly sees Sandy, not Parisa, turning around and kicking her from the floor.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – SLOW MOTION:
Ruthless turns her head to avoid the kick on her face, but exposes her throat. The kick aimed to Ruthless face, lands on her air pipe. Ruthless chokes. Can’t breathe. Moves back.
SUPERNATURAL MEET
Parisa hears a voice saying: “She’s yours.” Parisa stands up.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – CONT
Parisa RUNS at her opponent. Aerial KNEE to plexus. DOWNWARD ELBOW lands heavily on head’s top. BUTTERFLY TWIST makes Ruthless head turn back and forth out of control.
RUTHLESS
…gasping for air, mouth hopelessly open. Ruthless head hits the ground. She does not stand up. Referee rushes in. Checks her pulse. Silence… prevails.
PARISA
…still in tears, wipes her face and whispers: “What? It was an accident, uh, bitch?”
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Bahadur realizes that the tournament is part of a plan to curb their spirit.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
The three plan to steal a cellphone from a guard and send a message out.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
The plan works. Parisa prevents her fiancé to keep the device. She furtively passes it to Philip.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – CONT
The guard notices his cellphone is gone. Points his gun at Badahur, but then, he catches Philip texting and shoots him dead.
8. Climax
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Bahadur is too weak to fight. Parisa enters the octagon with the “Ruler’s Favorite,” Shahnaz.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – SCAFFOLD — DAY
Parisa fights Shanaz. Anxiety is about to take over, but this time, she envisions pressing the treadmill UP buttons and going for HIGH levels as she did in the opening scene. She wins the antidote, but gets badly hurt. It’s the end for her.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – CONT
A DRONE SQUAD and soldiers on JET BOARDS arrive. Philip’s message went through! The Ruler is busted.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – CONT
Despair. Badahur puts aside the antidote and cuddles Parisa in his arms. The antidote is meaningless without her.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – CONT
Hope. Badahur urges paramedics to help the lifeless woman in his arms. No reaction.
Badahur yells: Aidez – moi! French paramedics finally notice him. Take them away. The antidote is left behind, right where Parisa collapsed.
INT. AIR AMBULANCE — SUPERNATURAL MEET — DAY
Parisa POV — A BLUR. “How bad is it?” followed by an old conversation she had with Sandy back then. “I must go back?” Parisa is confused…
INT. AIR AMBULANCE — CONT
The blur turns into military paramedics. Air ambulance crew commotion. “She’s back”, a voice says. Now Badahur realizes there’s hope, but he left the antidote behind.
EXT. DESERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
THE ANTIDOTE left behind at the extraction point. Radio static. Dispatcher transmits instructions to JET BOARD pilot. JET BOARD pilot retrieves antidote and glides away.
9. Resolution
INT. GYM — DAY
Badahur quietly rolls a wheelchair into the gym where Parisa’s old cheerleaders team rehearse. Still bruised, but recovering, Parisa shares her discovery with her former students.
-
Day VIII : Fill Your Outline With Character – Assigment(s)
Mike O – Character Outline
1. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
ASSIGNMENT 1
On Day 5, you created a Character Arc by adding, “Issue, Challenges & Transformation” to your structure. Return to your Day 5 assignment and add the Character Arc parts you like to your outline. The objective is to have your outline updated before you do the scene-by-scene work from today’s lesson.
The Master Outline
OPENING SCENE: INT. CAFE — LUNCH Brooklyn (protagonist) having lunch w/ Carolyn talk about love, loss, and her upcoming 30<sup>th</sup> birthday. Opening – Brooklyn, the protagonist, is a painter on the cusp of being “discovered” You get the flavor of the movie. (glimpse the start of her character arc, *the part to be changed)
EXT. GALLERY BUILDING – LATE AFTERNOON Brooklyn takes her latest painting to Carolyn’s gallery for the upcoming showing.
INT. TOWN HOME – DRIVE WAY – EARLY EVENING Brooklyn gets home, changes into lounge clothes, gets a letter from her father’s lawyer.
FLASHBACK – KITCHEN – DISTANT PAST Brooklyn recalls her mother telling her that her father wasn’t providing, she had to go to work; they grew apart. He left them.
INCITING INCIDENT: Brooklyn learns she is the executor of her father’s estate and must take care of it. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. CAROLYN’S SUV – DAY Carolyn drives Brooklyn to the airport, warns her it might take her a few days.
EXT. CAR RENTAL PARKING LOT – NOON Brooklyn leaves the airport, drives off in a rental Jeep for her father’s town.
EXT. CAFE – CONTINUOUS Brooklyn arrives in town. Hungry, she finds a café and stops to eat.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY Brooklyn calls her dad’s lawyer. He answers and joins her for lunch.
INT. ART GALLERY OFFICE – DAY Alan takes Brooklyn to her father’s gallery. Brooklyn meets Richard (antagonist) he is a charming womanizer. He plays upon her emotions. b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. SMOKE SHACK – EVENING Brooklyn meets Richard at the restaurant for dinner and to talk about the gallery and get her up to speed. Richard tries to seduce her. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile? b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. ALAN’S OFFICE – MORNING Brooklyn is warned by the lawyer, Alan, that Richard wants the gallery. He gives Brooklyn keys to her dad’s cabin and directions on how to get to the cabin.
INT. JEEP – LATER Brooklyn is following the map, finds her dad’s cabin. It’s beautiful.
EXT/INT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS From the outside, it is beautiful. Inside, more stunning. Brooklyn discovers her dad had great taste, was a painter. He has photos of her from childhood on. She is floored, never saw him keeping tabs on her.
INTERCUT: CAROLYN DRIVING, BROOKLYN AT THE WINDOW Brooklyn tells her that her mom lied about her dad. Carolyn tells her Iverson, CEO of Apex Industries, is stopping by the gallery to buy her three paintings. Brooklyn is now in the big times!!
EXT. CABIN DECK – DAY Brooklyn is painting the landscape before her. Finishes, sets it by her dad’s, same landscape different season. Tells him “Here daddy, for you. Merry Xmas”
FIRST ACT TURNING POINT: Brooklyn discovers a shoe box filled w/ letters all “return to sender” Her father wrote to her! It was her mother who wrote “return to sender” on them. First turning point at end of Act 1 – Brooklyn discovers who her father really was. He was not poor and he did not abandon her as the protagonist’s mother told her. Her father was wealthy, he loved & had love in his life. Also, he kept tabs on her and loved her from afar. (Brooklyn’s fear of intimacy as she encounters a love interest ** Biggest fear: Brooklyn’s fear of intimacy)
EXT. FRONT PORCH – CONTINUOUS
Brooklyn answers the door, meets Tarek and his two sons. Learns they are in for the holiday to spend it with her dad. They don’t know he has passed. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. KITCHEN – LATER
She tells Tarek her father passed. The boys overhear.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Brooklyn, Tarek and the kids play monopoly together. Brooklyn wins.
INT. DINING ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Tarek and the boys share the dinner they brought with Brooklyn.
EXT. PORCH – AFTER DINNER
Tarek, the boys and Brooklyn go outside, have a snowball fight.
EXT/INT. PICKUP TRUCK – LATER
Tarek and the boys pack up and leave Brooklyn.
INT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Brooklyn retrieves the shoe box of old letters, electricity goes out. She lights lanterns, builds a fire.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Brooklyn reads all her father’s letters to her, throws the old checks in the fire. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Tarek worries about Brooklyn, Tyler tells him to call her, Brandon knows dad didn’t get her #
INT. LIVING ROOM – SAME
Phone rings, Brooklyn thinks it’s Tarek; it’s Richard. She turns down his dinner offer. She asks him where the client list is, he tells her it’s all in his head. He milks it. b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. GALLERY – LATER
Richard goes there, takes all the receipts, papers, invoices and ledger, then vandalizes the place. b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
EXT/INT. GALLERY – MORNING
Brooklyn goes to Art Gallery; finds it vandalized. She freaks, then takes a stand and calls the local alarm company. Has video cameras, motion detectors, the works installed including a few hidden cameras.
Mid-Point – Brooklyn is trying to tie up her father’s estate, learns her father’s GM is trying to steal her father’s art gallery. She sees the antagonist for what he really is. This twist reveals the fact they are both after the same goal – the art gallery.
INT. COLD CREEK CAFE – LUNCH
Brooklyn runs into Tarek and Tyler. They argue over the merits of an artist. She is offended. She tells him, “someone in your idyllic little town ransacked and vandalized my dad’s gallery last night…” and leaves.
a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. CAROLYN AFTERNOON – NOON Iverson sees Brooklyn’s paintings in Carolyn’s gallery, inquires about the artist. Tells his executive secretary as they’re leaving the gallery to do a background workup on Brooklyn Murray.
INT. BABBLING BROOK GALLERY – AFTERNOON
Carolyn calls Brooklyn; Iverson wants to meet Brooklyn, has $, has to see her in person to buy her work.
INT. GALLERY – LATER
Brooklyn gets a basket of goodies from Tarek w/ an apology card. He’s sorry for what happened to her gallery and for how poorly he explained himself at the café.
INT. JOSHUA’S CABIN – NIGHT
Brooklyn mulls over her feelings for Tarek, her lust for fame and recognition that Iverson can provide.
a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. LIMOUSINE – LATE AFTERNOON
Iverson greets Brooklyn. Flatters her, they go to dinner where Carolyn is there waiting for them.
MONTAGE – BROOKLYN AND GUESTS CELEBRATING
Dancing, mingling, dinner and desert. Iverson kisses the back of her hand, a telling gesture. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. CAFÉ – NEXT MORNING
Brooklyn and Carolyn talk re: Iverson wanting Brooklyn to paint murals in his mansion and perhaps more.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – KITCHEN – MORNING
Tarek makes boy’s breakfast, winces in pain several times.
EXT/INT. WINTERGREEN BANK – AFTERNOON
Brooklyn goes in and buys all of Tarek’s photograph off the wall.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Brooklyn goes to the places where Tarek has his photos and buys them, takes them to her gallery.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Tarek and boys build a fire, have eggnog and cookies. Tarek’s new phone is fully charged. Brandon tells him, “You know Brooklyn left you a bunch of texts.”
INTERCUT: ALAN, HIS OFFICE; BROOKLYN, THE BABBLING BOOK GALLERY
Alan tells her Richard is trying a legal stunt to steal the gallery from her. He explains the stunt to her. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
EXT. GRAVEYARD – DUSK
Brooklyn goes to visit her father, sees a heart carve on a tree with initials and it has been Xd out. She murmurs, “Even here.” At her dad’s headstone, she tells him her mom lied. Ruby shows up, tells her that her father knew she loved him, that her father was the love of her life.
INT. JOSHUA’S CABIN – LATER
Brooklyn is drinking wine, eating chocolate, decides to call Tarek.
INTERCUT: BROOKLYIN SITTING; TAREK AT THE FIREPLACE
Brooklyn is sure her father’s signature on the document Richard gave to Alan is a forgery. Tarek tells her to be careful, that Richard is a good guy. This starts an argument and pushes Brooklyn to go to Chicago.
[HAVE THIS ARGUMENT OVER RICHARD – DRIVE BROOKLYN TO CHICAGO, TO SEE IVERSON…. WORK ON THIS ANGLE NEED THE TENSION…. LOVE TRIANGLE>>>
INT. BED – LATER
Brooklyn texts Carolyn, asks for Iverson’s cell number. Carolyn texts it to her with a smilie face.
She texts Iverson, he texts her back.
INSERT – TEXT
“I will send my jet for you. Let me know when you would like to leave.”
INSERT – TEXT
“Tomorrow, after work, 6pm. Denver Stapleton, right?”
INSERT – TEXT
“When you get to Stapleton, call James at this number: 773-456-3336. He will find you.”
Second turning point at end of Act 2 – Brooklyn thinks Tarek is just like all men, she is quick to dismiss what she feels and how she feels for him and has it in her mind, Iverson is the answer. Fame and fortune, a great provider as her mother put it… (running away, fear of intimacy, etc)
Brooklyn goes to Chicago, Iverson makes his intentions known, they kiss and she realizes it isn’t something she can do for any amount of money. She apologizes, says she is in a relationship. Iverson is gracious and says he still wants her to do the murals. They part friends… She touches her lips (look up how I wrote it when Brooklyn thinks back to Iverson’s kiss then thinks on Tarek’s, and knows what true love is …. Epiphany!!
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – MORNING
Brooklyn is awakened by the door bell. She checks the security camera, it’s Tarek and the boys. She is so happy.
They go out, cut Brooklyn a Christmas tree and take it back to her place. Tarek tells her it has to drop. The warmth will settle the branches. TAREK “Give it a day, it’ll be perfect.” That night at Tarek’s cabin, they make dinner.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NEXT EVENING Brooklyn, Tarek and the boys decorate Brooklyn’s tree. Broolyn gives the small boy the ping-pong ball which she has turned into a Christmas ornament. She tells him: “Silly ball was always rolling away. Figured we give it a home and a purpose, it will stay put.”
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – 47<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – CHICAGO – AFTERNOON
Brooklyn goes to see Iverson, learns what he wants her to paint. Takes the sketches with her.
INT. BROOKLYN’S ART STUDIO – LATER
Brooklyn is in her studio painting, working on her ideas for Iverson’s murals. Carolyn sneaks up on her. They have a heart-to-heart re: her love for Tarek and her fear.
INT. KITCHEN – NEXT MORNING
Carolyn answers Brook’s phone, speaks with Tarek. Listens, orders his airplane tickets, tricks him.
INT. STUDIO – DAY
Tarek surprises Brooklyn at her loft. They KISS, go back to Carolyn’s.
INT. BROOKLYN’S HOME – LATER
Spend the night, the boys with Tarek. Next morning, she leaves, Tarek collapses in pain.
INT. STUDIO – MOMENTS LATER
Brooklyn gets a panicked call from Brandon, his dad is on the floor. Calls 911.
EXT. BROOKLYN’S RESIDENCE – LATER
Brooklyn pulls up, ambulance is there. Tarek tells Brooklyn “Look after my boys.”
Crisis – her love interest who has suffered a medical emergency and is rushed to the hospital leaving her with his two small boys. END OF ACT TWO
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER
Tyler in Brooklyn’s lap in Tarek’s room. He survives, they are all together.
INT. BABBLING BROOK GALLERY – NIGHT
Richards breaks in, steals the good paintings and substitutes them for no-name paintings. ** then torches the place, to cover the theft of the valuable paintings versus the no name substitutes. b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. BROOKLYN’S STUDIO – DAY
Carolyn shows Iverson in the studio where they see Brooklyn’s easels.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – MORNING
Brooklyn, Tarek and the boys are all together. Brooklyn gets a call from the sheriff and alarm company.
INT. GALLERY – LATER
Brooklyn walks through the rubble, distraught; knows who did it and why. a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
INT. BAR – DAY (THE CLIMAX)
Brooklyn confronts Richard. She sets down photos of a person dressed in black in the gallery, pulling paintings off the wall and replacing them. The last photo is a close-up of Richard’s hand tattoo as it shows momentarily between the leather glove and sleeve of the jacket. Carolyn walks in as moral support for Brooklyn. Behind her, the sheriff with handcuffs.
a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
EXT. GRAVE SITE – DAY
Brooklyn visits her father’s grave, apologizes, asks for his forgiveness.
EXT. MEADOW – CHRISTMAS MORNING
We glide over the new fallen snow, see the Christmas lights at the cabin’s eaves, the chimney smoke and go inside…
INT. BROOKLYN’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Brandon hands out Christmas presents. Brook’s present to Tarek, homemade Christmas bulb with a heart in glitter and their initials. The last present, is Tarek’s. A wedding ring as he asks Brooklyn to marry him. Resolution – Brooklyn accepts what happened, takes what her father’s lover tells her to heart and embraces her father’s posthumous love. She decides to live there with her newfound loves. (***Completion of arc)
ROLL END-OF-FILM CREDITS
MONTAGE – VIDEO FOOTAGE OF WEDDING DAY
— Bridal gown and lace train, Brooklyn, out on the back deck, snowy meadow in the foreground.
— Group shot: Carolyn, maid of honor. Beside her Stan with their two boys as Tarek’s groomsmen.
— Self-conscious pose: Tuxedoed and on their best behavior, Brandon and Tyler stand at attention.
— Tarek’s best man, Alan, caught handing him a flask of the good stuff.
— Alan’s daughter, Briana, flower girl, sprinkles flowers across the redwood deck.
— Unsteady, hand-held SHOT of Brandon looking into the camera asking Tyler if it’s ON.
— Ruby catches the wedding bouquet, turns to the old man from the bar and smiles suggestively.
— Cake-cutting ceremony – Brooklyn shoves cake into Tarek’s mouth.
BACK TO PRESENT
Brandon writes on the back of an 8 by 12 photograph:
INSERT – WRITING
“And they lived happily ever after”…
Brandon turns the photo over and we HOLD ON — WEDDING SHOT of the four of them — posing in front of Brooklyn’s Christmas tree.
========================================
ASSIGNMENT 2
Add character to each scene in your outline. For your two lead characters, look at each scene they are in and see how something from their profile might play through their actions.
[I] Pull out your Lead Character Profiles and your Outline.
[II] With each scene, ask the following questions: a. What would my protagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile? b. What would my antagonist do in this scene that reflects their profile?
[III] Rewrite the main actions of each scene to deliver character.
Log in to reply.