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Day 8 Assignments
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12 Replies
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Judith’s Structure/Plot – Lesson 8
What I learned is thrillers have many parts that need to be developed to write a thriller that is exciting and thrilling.
Opening: The movers to take the paintings to the gallery show are late and claim that Emily called them to come later.
LIFE THREATENING SEQUENCE: Emily is almost run down by a car on her morning run.
MYSTERY 1: who called the movers to come late?
MYSTERY 2: was the car run down on purpose?
Catalyst: Emily’s estranged sister shows up at the art show wanting reconciliation.
LIFE THREATENING SEQUENCE:
Emily confronts her competitor for the art show about delaying the movers and they have a big fight.
MYSTERY 3: Is the competitor telling her the truth about the call?
MYSTERY 4: Who made the call to the movers?
Rachel kills the competing artist and blames it on Emily. She is arrested.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 1: Disrupt Emily’s Life.
Rachel secretly follows Emily and Eugene to the adoption agency.
MYSTERY 5: What is Rachel watching them for?
Turning Point 1: Emily calls Rachel and tells her, let’s be sisters again.
LIFE THREATENING SEQUENCE:
The adoption agency got an anonymous phone call that Emily is a drug addict.
Rachel broke into Eugene’s business and stole his research.
Rachel burns down the art gallery and destroys Emily paintings.
Rachel hires an actress to come onto Eugene, Emily’s husband, and Emily thinks he is having an affair.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 2: Make Emily feel she can’t trust Eugene and rely on Rachel instead.
MYSTERY 5: What is Rachel’s ultimate goal?
The detective investigating the fire at Rachel’s house contacts Emily and will meet with her.
Emily arrives but the detective is not there. She sees the next day in the paper that he is dead.
Emily calls the detective’s police station and finds out that…
Midpoint: Emily learns that her mother and sister were killed in a house fire, but her sister is here.
LIFE THREATENING SEQUENCE:
Emily finds one of her paintings from the art gallery in Rachel’s car.
Emily confronts Rachel about her mother’s and Rachel’s supposed death and Rachel tries to kill her.
MYSTERY 6: Why is Rachel so bent on destroying Emily and all she has?
Rachel tries to kill Emily’s husband.
Turning Point 2: Rachel kidnaps the child Emily is adopting.
Rachel kills Emily’s best friend when she tries to stop her from kidnapping Katie.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 3: Destroy all of Emily’s support, kill her, and take over her successful life.
Climax: Emily and Rachel fight and Rachel is killed in a fire when Emily can’t rescue her.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by Judith Watson.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by
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Michelle’s Thriller Plot
What I learned is…how important it is to include the elements (life threatening, mystery, villain’s plan) into the structure of the story, how this deepens the story, and how it will help create a solid thriller.<div>
OPENING: Terrible car accident.
Life Threatening 1: Boyd is brain dead. </div><div>
Life Threatening 2: Doctors talk to his wife about organ donation.
Villain’s Plan: Boyd is the serial killer who has been plaguing the community for years by targeting vulnerable people. After he dies, his heart is transplanted into Adam.
INCITING INCIDENT: Griffin’s former best friend is murdered.
Life Threatening 1: Griffin publicly fights with her. </div><div>
Life Threatening 2: Griffin was the last person to see her alive.
Life Threatening 3: Detectives begin to suspect Griffin is involved.
Mystery 1: Griffin and her former best friend get into a tiff in front of Adam.
Mystery 2: Why were Griffin and her former best friend fighting?
Mystery 3: Griffin drives her former best friend home because she had too much to drink. Was she the last person to see her alive or did she have something to do with her murder?
Villain’s Plan: Adam sees Griffin and her former best friend fight. He has been admitted to the hospital so often he knows the hospital, it’s gossip, and knows hospital security is weak. He kills the former best friend.
TURNING POINT 1: Griffin’s mentor is murdered.
Life Threatening 1: During a meeting with her mentor, it is mentioned that she was fired from her last job and the mentor stuck out her neck for her to get this job. </div><div>
Life Threatening 2: Griffin and her mentor fight because she is harassing the heart transplant surgeon.
Life Threatening 3: The mentor and the hospital CEO talk about firing Griffin.
Mystery 1: Why was Griffin fired from her last job?
Mystery 2: Why did the heart transplant surgeon administer the drug he did during Adam’s surgery?
Villain’s plan: He kills the mentor so she won’t recommend firing Griffin.
MIDPOINT: Adam’s wife Mollie breaks down over Adam’s change in behavior.
Life Threatening 1: The heart transplant surgeon ignores Griffin’s request for answers about a medication given during Adam’s heart transplant. </div><div>
Life Threatening 2: Adam is admitted to the hospital very ill.
Life Threatening 3: Hank, the surgeon who is going to operate on Adam, and Griffin have a tense interaction.
Mystery 1: Why is Adam’s behavior changing?
Villain’s Plan: Cellular memory – the theory that memories are stored outside the brain and in all of a person’s living cells. Adam has received a serial killers heart/cells.
TURNING POINT 2: Griffin is charged with murder.
Life Threatening 1: The CEO is murdered. </div><div>
Life Threatening 2: Will Griffin be fired because she is being accused of murder?
Mystery 1: Did Griffin kill anyone?
Mystery 2: If Griffin didn’t kill anyone, who is?
Villain’s Plan: not to be uncovered as the real killer.
CLIMAX: Adam abducts Hank, Griffin finds them and is able to save Hank.
Life threatening 1: Griffin goes to save Hank. She is in danger of being killed as well. </div><div>
Villain’s Plan: Abduct and kill Hank.
RESOLUTION: Griffin confronts her father about keeping the secret that Boyd was a serial killer.
Life Threatening 1: Why were Boyd and Griffin’s father at the fishing spot after midnight if Griffin’s father told her there was no good fishing there after midnight? </div>
Life Threatening 2: Boyd and Griffin’s father receive a Mayor’s award for trying to save one of the victim’s of the serial killers.
Life Threatening 3: Griffin’s father takes her to the fishing spot where he tried to save the victim of the serial killer years before.
Mystery 1: Who killed the string of homeless people and sex workers in the community over the years?
Mystery 2: Why did Boyd’s wife act odd when she learned of his death?
Mystery 3: Why did Griffin’s mom leave her a cryptic note in the box with the videotape of the newscaster interviewing her father?
Villain’s Plan: Boyd was a psychopathic serial killer. His friends and family suspected but never turned him in.
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Patricia’s Thriller Plot
What I learned is I don’t like my Sequence 7 twist. I need to keep thinking about it.
I used the 8-Sequence Structure.
ACT I
SEQUENCE ONE – Status Quo & Inciting Incident
Establishes Kamiri and her mother’s codependent relationship. Kamiri is preparing for a job interview, desperate to be hired after three years without a job or prospects – why is she a pariah in the tech world? Inciting incident: Kamiri shows up for the interview and Xtopher is there. He explains Bubble and Kamiri can both repair their reputations if she signs on.
Mystery 1 Xtopher hires Kamiri.
Villain’s Plan 1 He Focuses her ethics probe on autonomous vehicles.
Villain’s Plan 2 He claims he’s working on a ransomware recovery project, which makes no sense.
SEQUENCE TWO – Predicament & Lock In
Kamiri accepts the job at Bubble even though just about everything is fishy at Bubble. She justifies it to herself that she just needs to hang on for six months, then she will have demonstrated she is no tech pariah and can move on. She is also romantically linked to Xtopher still.
Mystery 3 What is Xtopher up to?
Mystery 4 Why is PerfecShawn so suspicious of Kamiri and determined to evade her questions?
Life Threatening Situation 1 Kamiri and PerfecShawn determine they are being watched.
ACT II
SEQUENCE THREE – First Obstacle & Raising the Stakes
The first OBSTACLE to the central character is faced, and the beginning of the elimination of the alternatives begins.
Villain’s Plan 3 Xtopher assigns Kamiri the menial task of hunting through autonomous vehicle project files for ethical violations.
Mystery 5 Kamiri finds that Bubble has been letting SMPD plus into autonomous vehicles to surveille citizens. There are also multiple ethics violations. Why is this info so easy to find?
Mystery 6 Kamiri determines Bubble’s legal counsel hit a pedestrian because the car swerved to avoid a porcupine. Why is the Bubble car making these decisions?
Villain’s Plan 4 Why are there half a dozen monks in the conference room?
PerfecShawn piques Kamiri’s interest with his own suspicions of Xtopher.
SEQUENCE FOUR – First Culmination/Midpoint
A higher OBSTACLE, the principle of RISING ACTION is brought in and builds to the FIRST CULMINATION, which usually parallels the RESOLUTION of the film. Sequence four should end with Kamiri winning in some way.
Villain’s Plan 5 Xtopher is flying to L.A., he says to meet with Canadians regarding ransomware recovery, but Kamiri plans to spy on him in his Bubble car to determine if this is true.
Mystery 7 Why is Xtopher flying to LA?
Kamiri secures information from PerfecShawn about the surveillance in autonomous vehicles to surveil Xtopher.
SEQUENCE FIVE – Subplot & Rising Action
Villain’s Plan 6 Leo and Xtopher decide to send Kamiri to testify before the Senate Subcommittee on Big Tech.
Villain’s Plan 7 Xtopher and Kamiri romance scene.
SEQUENCE SIX – Main Culmination/End of Act Two
The build-up to the MAIN CULMINATION – back to the main story. The highest obstacle, the last alternative, the highest or lowest moment and the end of our main tension come at this point.
Villain’s plan 7 Xtopher and Leo visit Kay and convince her to wear a Ver-2.
Life-threatening situation 2 Kamiri realizes she must abandon her investigation, or she will be forced to lie to the Senate and her mom or will be fired. She comes up with her own plan and asks Xtopher to bring her toy bear to LA with him.
ACT III
SEQUENCE SEVEN – New Tension & Twist
The TWIST can end this sequence or come at the start of the eighth sequence.
Life threatening situation 3 – PerfecShawn realizes what Kamiri is up to and confronts her. She convinces him to ally with her.
Villain’s plan 8 – Kamiri and PerfecShawn use the recording to understand what Xtopher is creating, and they confront him.
SEQUENCE EIGHT – Resolution
Hell-bent for the RESOLUTION.
Villain’s plan 9 – Kamiri asks Xtopher to testify, as she doesn’t want to lie. He agrees.
Kamiri rounds up the monks and sends them into the Senate subcommitte to reveal the secret project.
Kay tells Kamiri that the committee is recommending the largest fine ever and algorithmic destruction for the Ver-2.
Life threatening situation 4 – Kamiri is fired and must continue to live with her mother.
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Ian Patrick’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned is to add all the elements together to form a plot
List out your
structure using whatever structure you are comfortable with.OPENING: African-American detective is assigned to observe a neo-Nazi march; one marcher is struck by a car and insists it was a Black driver.
INCITING INCIDENT: An officer is shot and killed by an unknown assailant. At his funeral, rifle fire endangers all the police.
TURNING POINT 1: Hero now believes the events are linked and might be a Black vigilante attacking white supremacists and cops
MIDPOINT: After another killing, evidence is planted that implicates the Hero; he is suspended until further investigation
TURNING POINT 2: A Black Lived Matter rally is scheduled where the Hero suspects the killer may strike again at the police
CLIMAX: After the Hero deduces the march is not the target but the speech given by the Mayor, he finds the neo-Nazi sniper and kills him
RESOLUTION: The Mayor and minorities march together in solidarity.
Inside your
structure, fill in the gaps with the Life Threatening situations,
Mysteries, and Villain’s plan. Do this one at a time. That will keep you
from getting confused.OPENING: African-American detective is assigned to observe a neo-Nazi march; one marcher is struck by a car and insists it was a Black driver.
Life Threatening 1: Was the driver deliberately trying to kill the marcher?
Life Threatening 2: A Korean American grocer is surrounded for firing a Black teen who was working for him; he’s shot
MYSTERY 1: Who is targeting white supremacist groups and Asian Americans?
INCITING INCIDENT: An officer who is trying to arrest a potential shooter
is shot and killed by an unknown assailant.
Life Threatening 3: At his funeral, rifle fire endangers all the police. A crumpled BLM flyer is found
MYSTERY 2: Is it the same shooter?
TURNING POINT 1: Hero now believes the events are linked and might
be a Black vigilante attacking white supremacists and cops
MYSTERY 3: Does the shooter have military sniper training?
Villain’s Plan 1: Get everyone believing the killer is Black
MIDPOINT: A neo-Nazi leader is wounded by the same rifle.
Villain’s Plan 2: Evidence is planted that implicates the Hero; he is suspended until further investigation
Life Threatening 4: Hero goes to outdoor shooting range to ask about high-powered rifle. He’s shot at.
Villain’s Plan 3: At white supremacist meeting, leader asks for more violence
Life Threatening 5: Undercover cop at meeting; will he be discovered?
TURNING POINT 2: A Black Lived Matter rally is scheduled where the Hero suspects the killer may strike again at the police
MYSTERY 4: Is there a master plan behind all of these deaths?
Villain’s Plan 4: Get all the police at the rally while he targets the Mayor from long distance
CLIMAX: After the Hero deduces the march is not the target but the speech given by the Mayor, he races to the building where the neo-Nazi sniper will shoot from.
Life Threatening 6: The Hero is captured
Villain Plan 5: Kill the Mayor and fake the Hero’s suicide as the shooter. The race war that the neo-Nazis have planned will then commence
Life Threatening 7: The Hero kills the sniper before he can fire
RESOLUTION: The Mayor and minorities march together in solidarity.
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Sherri D. Coffee – Thriller Plot!
What I learned doing this assignment was to take the elements of each essential character and intertwine with a structure to tell a story.
Opening: On her first day at the firm, Charlotte is exposed to the world of lobbying by her mentor Patricia.
Mystery 1: How does the lobby world work?
Inciting event: Patricia commits suicide.
Mystery 2: Why does she commit suicide? Did she commit suicide?
Villain Plan 1: To hide what Patricia knew about his ties to foreign governments.
Mystery 3: What did Patricia know and what did she share with Charlotte?
Mystery 4: What does Charlotte know?
Threatening: Threat secret could be revealed: Charlotte has the information about the foreign contacts.
Mystery 5: What do the foreign contacts mean?
Turning point: Charlotte discovers the foreign contacts are used to fund several groups who contribute to political campaigns.
Mystery 6: Why do foreign contacts want to support American advocacy groups?
Threatening: The unknown: Charlotte begins investigating.
Threatening: Someone covertly operative: Ford puts Charlotte’s training in the hands of a trusted employee who monitors her closely.
Midpoint: Charlotte uncovers foreign contacts funding advocacy groups who provide political money to politicians.
Mystery 7: What do the foreign funders get out of supporting American politicians?
Villain Plan 2: Ford covers up the flow of foreign funds. Creates generic contracts.
Mystery 8: Why is Ford involved? What did Patricia know? Did she tell anyone?
Turning point 2: Charlotte is poisoned at advocacy political fundraiser.
Mystery 9: Why and Who poisoned Charlotte?
Villain Plan 3: Ford suspects Charlotte has information she is not sharing. Figures out a way to remove her from the advocacy accounts.
Mystery 10: Who can Charlotte trust with information?
Threatening: Risk of secret being revealed.
Climax: Charlotte must get to the CIA to provide them the information.
Threatening: She is being chased by people who want to prevent her from sharing the information.
Resolution: Charlotte reveals information to CIA and must go into protective services. Ford is arrested. Senator Smith runs for Congress.
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Eric Humble’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned is: how intertwining each of the MIS tracks creates a fleshed-out thriller plot. While mine still has a few holes in it and a few parts I’d like to elevate, this process has given me much more of a fleshed-out plot than I thought the concept would have. A common problem I’ve run into with my thrillers in the past is that I get about halfway then the story either falls apart with nowhere to go or it gets so convoluted and contrived that it ends up being both unbelievable and way too long. With this process, I feel like I was able to extrapolate the concept in a manner that delivers on the conventions and I have a great balance of events, since it interweaves the MIS. I can’t wait to see where we go next to flesh this out even further!
MM1:
Beginning: The rival chef calls the FBI to blow the whistle on someone, but while he’s waiting someone stalks him through his kitchen.
Inciting Incident: Raf is recruited by Leiber to cook the meal at the G7 summit to broker peace in Europe. Cover: Leiber claims the previous chef’s security check revealed he had political sympathies with one of the world leaders. He wants Raf because of Raf’s reputation for providing custom meals that help power players lure their counterparts into deals.
Intrigue 1: Leiber acts like he’s most concerned with the US’s standing in NATO – the peace treaty is essential to re-establishing the US’s dominance within NATO. Insisting that the other countries are sheep following the US superpower.
MM2:
Raf is urged by his girlfriend to let this one go – but he can’t. It’ll be the biggest dinner of his life!
Intrigue: Leiber has strong security in place – which won’t let anyone leave once admitted, and won’t let anyone from the kitchen talk to the world leaders in the dining room.
Intrigue: Leiber won’t allow anyone in the meat freezers – that area is off-limits. Anyone trying to enter will be arrested before they get inside the door.
Mystery 1: Raf knows line cook Salvatore from a previous job and talks to him. No one knows why the first chef left. Leiber claims his security clearance didn’t check out, something about his background. But Salvatore says it’s bullshit. The chef didn’t have a political bone in his body.
Intrigue 2: One member of NATO, a firebrand, is in a violent, drunken argument – railing that NATO always follows the US’s lead, even now when US credibility is low. If they’re as united as they say, NATO can be its own superpower without US Involvement. Rav is ordered to give him coffee and settle his stomach and mind with a snack… and gets the sense this man has already gotten a system in place, a cabal waiting in the wings to take over the lead in foreign policy if the US can’t pull this peace deal off.
Intrigue 3: Meanwhile, Leiber calms the situation by having water brought in for all the delegates – which, unknown to anyone, is poisoned with thallium.
Turning Point One/Life-Threatening 1: Rav discovers the rival chef’s body hanging in the off-limits meat freezer. Murdered! Will this be Raf’s fate?
Mystery 2: Who killed the original chef and why?
Mystery 3: The first chef left a warning carved into the handle of his chef’s knife: Poison.
Dessert. Russian Bl…
MM3:
Raf takes the logical first steps – reports it to Leiber.
Intrigue 4: Leiber won’t let Raf disrupt the proceedings – there’s too much at stake. Leiber claims he’ll handle it, but insists on keeping the meal on a strictly-timed schedule… but makes it seem like this is because the peace deal is at stake, not because everyone will feel the effects of the poison by then.
Mystery 4: There was a dust-up when the previous chef wanted to change the dessert to something low sugar and vegan for everyone; everyone could have it and it didn’t conflict with anyone’s dietary requirements. Several of the NATO leaders’s staff objected and Leiber threatened to replace him unless he stuck to the pre-cleared menu.
Mystery 5: Everything was going fine with the chef until he inspected the pantry. Then suddenly he was gone and replaced with Raf.
Intrigue 5: Leiber leaves a false clue that makes Raf think the poison is in the kitchen.
Life-Threatening 2: Raf goes looking in the pantry and someone unseen (Salvatore) attacks him. He doesn’t see that it’s Salvatore, just that he hurt the assailant’s hand.
TWIST: Mystery 6: Raf finds rat poison – thallium – tucked in a hole behind the insulation in the pantry. Its cartridge is almost empty… the poison has been removed.
MM4:
More ambitious plan: Contact the world leaders via food.
Life-Threatening 3: Raf tries to warn the US President – but only the Chinese president, an enemy, figures out the message and converses with him… which could make him look like a foreign agent and is a breach of protocol.
Red Herring Mystery 2: Salvatore burns his hand to cover the wound that Raf made.
Mystery 7: Raf gets a call from his business partner about an audit resulting from an undisclosed bank account. Their restaurant is in jeopardy.
Midpoint/Life-Threatening 4: Lured into a trap by the Chinese president – who tricks him into cooking something that another of the world leaders has an allergy to. He’s brought before multiple countries’ security forces.
MM5:
Retreats to lick his wounds while villain basks in triumph!:
Life-Threatening 5: Leiber gets him out of it – so he can frame him for his own assassination plan. Mystery 8: He brings Raf into the restricted area for questioning. Shows him (doctored) video looking like he’s receiving a payoff.
Red Herring Mystery 3: Salvatore is in contact with someone above in the peace talks via coded messages left in the dirty napkins.
Life-Threatening 6: Leiber tips off the President, who orders Raf brought before him… Lieber knows he’s been in contact with the Chinese President, against protocol. The President is about to order Raf arrested as an assassin. (Midpoint??)
Red Herring Mystery 4: Salvatore lies about being Spanish – he was born in Montenegro.
TWIST/Life-Threatening 7: Someone (Leiber) threatens Raf’s girlfriend – sends him a live video feed of her. She’s being watched and doesn’t realize it. Cook the dinner and stop playing detective.
MM6:
Most ambitious plan yet: Takes control of the kitchen himself and locks security out.
Mystery 9: Raf switches kitchens and orders everything recooked immediately with fresh ingredients he commandeers a Secret Service agent to bring in from the outside. (Or does he take Leiber hostage to make them do this?)
Intrigue 6: Leiber, coming to him as a friend, focuses Raf’s attention on the special “no-sugar” dessert that will only be served to the US President… a seemingly obvious choice for the poison.
Raf orders everyone to switch clothes with the person to their left. Then has everyone check their pockets. No poison.
Red Herring Mystery 5: Salvatore won’t switch clothes with the other cooks.
Red Herring Mystery 6: Raf catches Salvatore stashing something… it’s poison. But the poison isn’t lethal – it’ll make you sick but it’s very hard to kill someone with it.
Mystery 10: But before he serves the new food, Raf convinces POTUS to let Leiber feed it to Salvatore to make him talk in his holding cell… and to prove there’s no poison in it. Ostensibly as a bluff (believing Raf has eliminated the possibility of poison).
Red Herring Secret: Salvatore is a sleeper agent for one of the smaller NATO countries unhappy that peace will come at the cost of it seceding a small tract of land to Russia, despite the US President and NATO leaders’s endorsement of this concession. His mission is to disrupt the peace treaty by making one of the world leaders ill… but not to hurt anyone.
Down at the End of Act Two:
Want in Jeopardy: Salvatore eats it – and dies. Raf looks guilty as ever.
Need in Jeopardy: He pulled this stunt to show off once and for all to the world leaders.
Turning Point Two: He realizes thallium’s antidote is Prussian Blue pigment found in the icing to the cake… they’ve all already been poisoned and only POTUS won’t consume the antidote as he’s diabetic.Mystery 11: Raf realizes the poison isn’t in the kitchen – it was in the water Salvatore was drinking in his cell, and which the world leaders drank before the gathering started.
MM7:
Crisis: Raf has to get Prussian Blue to the President.
Decision Point: Throws away his career and freedom to do the right thing.
Life-Threatening 8: Leiber orders the Secret Service to shoot him on sight as an assassin.
Climax: Raf squares off with Leiber and uses his cooking skills to switch poisons and antidotes,
Life-Threatening 9: Leiber sabotages the oven to explode and kill him.
MM8:
Villain is Back One Last Time!: Leiber goes after Raf’s girlfriend.
Resolution: Raf runs a well-respected but unassuming restaurant that allows him to spend time with his girlfriend… who is pregnant and whom he’s going to marry.
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Through this assignment, I learned to play with possibility. Since I’m creating this, this script can be anything imagined, loaded with innuendo, truth, secrets and excitement. Hopefully improving in the next few weeks – this is my possible, ultimate goal.
Opening: Illegal drugs arrive by plane. What’s the plan? Who are these people?
1. V. Plan: Destroy a family, a casino business and a man’s life. Two strange, foreign men stalk the four sisters while creating the beginnings of a personal war.
2. Mystery: Why do the four vacuous, young women act deserving all the attention?
3. V. Plan: Maksim’s invisible. Be covert. Viktor with no conscience manages havoc.
4. Threatening: Strange men set fire/explosion to casino entrance causing the death and injury of employees.
5. In the casino, unaware and retired, Joe smiles, but dismayed about accidents and injuries.
6. The four sisters prepare/plan for a mascaraed, Angela’s Birthday party.
7. Threatening: Adversary, Pop Tony holds his Mafia friends too close.
8. V. Plan: Joe’s friend, John B. oversees Union contract with little help given.
9. V. Plan: Stranger, well-dressed Viktor, visits Angela’s party to spy or?
INCITING INCIDENT (P.10): Limo driver murdered; daughter (s) abducted?
10. Intrigue: Maksim’s son, Attorney Nick works in Joe’s Casino, watching and planning.
11. Mystery: Why of Maksim’s hate. Flashback of Joe and Maksim first meet.
12. Threat: Maksim and Nikolai meet, plan Joe’s daughter torture or death?
13. Mystery: Fruit basket arrives – who is it from? Unknown?
14. Joe plays golf with John B. and discussed/argue Union negotiations.
15. Threat: Musician Billie-Bob lures naïve Giovana into hiring him.
16. Threat: Women customers threatened/purse snatching.
17. Threat: Union is picketing Joe’s casino, creating bad press.
18. Daughters meet to discuss helpful measures.
19. Mystery: Joe’s Flashback – Perfect wife Margo and his marriage relationship.
20. Mystery: Otis, Security Manager finds/hides black panties in the hallway.
21. Joe has unspoken health issues.
22. Threat: Joe speaks with his security head, Otis Rosewell, with concern about the safety of Angela’s birthday party that night.
23. Mystery: Russian Nanny Elba living in Joe’s home, good or evil?
24. Maksim castigates his son, argues Nikolai’s/Nicky’s weaknesses.
25. Viktor and Maksim show their deep evil connected personalities.
26. Mystery: Who hired Nick? Nick’s been advising Angela on failing marketing.
27. Intrigue: Nicky plays flirting games with Francesca, over and over.
28. Angela’s party filled with celebs, mafia and Joe’s old friends.
29. Famous entertainer sings at Angela’s party, as Viktor watches.
30. Threat: Adversaries, Joe and mob-lover Tony have an altercation at the party.
31. Threat: Hired Billie-Bob drugs Giovana and has sex with her – abducted?
32. Mystery: Who is the unconscious daughter in the back of a black van?
TURNING POINT (P.30): Titled – “Day 2 – The After-Party Pain” Which unknown of Joe’s daughters was abducted?
1. V. Plan: Maksim meets with Nikolai/Nick, Viktor to further their revenge.
2. Threat: Viktor, an MD admits to ease of Russian surgery murders as ordered.
3. Continuing Flashback of Joe and Maksim, who was crippled in the war.
4. Mystery: What will happen as Nick reinforces familiarity with Francesca.
5. V. Plan: Nikolai/Nick lures in Francesca – will she be abducted?
6. Angela’s birthday party continues, as Tony infuriates Joe all night.
7. Mystery: Hired Billie-Bob seduces addictive Giovana – will she be abducted?
8. Mystery: Viktor abducted one of the daughters – which one?
9. Joe’s stressed. His old friend, Dominic, the driver’s dead and which daughter was kidnapped. He doesn’t know which one and can’t locate any of them.
MID-POINT/45: Titled “Day 2 – The Pain” Joe’s casino collapses further with more personal problems.
1. V. Plan: Joe’s over-the-top stressed. His old friend, Dominic, the driver’s dead and which daughter was kidnapped. He doesn’t know and can’t locate them.
2. Threat: Flashback of Maksim growing hatred – Joe caused him a crippled leg and left for dead during the war.
3. Maksim’s Lake Las Vegas home – “I’m richer than God.” Maksim has a bad heart.
Bad mood Joe meets with casino managers to discuss repair/adjust measures.
4. Joe puts a silence lid on all the mayhem with security boss, Otis.
5. V. Plan: Surveillance witnesses/stops Russian-arranged money laundering – how much loss and how long has this been going on?
6. Joe defends his casino in a physical fight with the Russian gangsters.
7. Threat: Joe approaches his other enemy, Pop Tony, as his home. Tony refuses to help him, at first. Tony has a bad heart and can’t walk.
8. Mystery: How did Margo die? Tony blames Joe for his daughter, Margo’s death.
9. Angela screams at Giovana to fire Billie-Bob immediately.
10. Mystery continues: Joe is still unsure of which daughter was kidnapped. He’s hunting the daughters – asking questions etc. Has it down to Gina or Francesca.
11. Angela and Giovana go on a snooping spree to find out what’s hidden/going on?
12. Mystery continues: Gina doesn’t show at court for a meeting. Where’s Gina?
13. V. Plan: Gina is being held in Mexico by perverts and druggies.
14. On crutches, Francesca’s with Nicky – an accident, overnight in the hospital.
15. Joe learns which daughter (s) are kidnapped. Gina’s gone – Who did it? Why?.
16. Otis, Joe, Tony try to create a plan to rescue Gina.
17. Page 45 – In his scooter wheelchair, Tony tries to take over the investigation of Gina’s abduction/arguing continues with Joe with Otis and Juan.
18. Giovana is stopped by police – is this a REAL policeman? Is she in danger now?
19. Threat: Angry Nick accuses Francesca of pilfering his desk and spying on him.
20. Pop Tony threatened and reprimands Giovana for her bad behavior.
21. Nick and Francesca make up and begin dating on the side.
22. V. Plan: Threat as Joe kills a burglar in his home with Angela and twins inside.
Titled: “Day 3 – The Confessions”
TURNING POINT 2 (Page 60): Daughter Gina cannot be found; no ransom etc. How can she be rescued? Where is she?
1. Martino sisters discuss Nick. They all conclude – they don’t like him.
2. Threats: Joe fights through Union picket lines at his casino entrances.
3. V. Plan: Union meeting goes awry. John B. leading it, and Joe argues.
4. John confesses selling Joe out for money.
5. Threat: Andre tortures Gina in Mexican captivity with drugs.
6. Joe’s whole family meets and decide to pull together for Gina, not argue.
7. Threat: Revenge as Maksim reveries, acknowledge his love for Margo, Joe’s wife.
8. MYSTERY: Joe confesses to daughters with friend, Dr. Green that each daughter had electronic tracking devises in their necks since age age 2-3 years. But they are weakening and need replacing. All the daughters are furious for not being told of this.
9. Threat: Union pickets instigated by young Russian mercenaries.
10. Nick’s shocked with Francesca beats one up to save Nick from attach.
11. She confesses all her defense training under Joe’s mentoring.
10. Angela and Giovana argue about behavior and firing Billie-Bob.
Title: “Day 4 – The Hunt”
(Page 80) CLIMAX: Will the covert, all-out effort to rescue his daughter work?
1. Joe and Otis stay up all night thinking/worrying/planning.
2. Threats: Chaos continues at the casino; card sharks, fountains bubble/overflow.
3. Mystery: Joe asks “Why am I seeing so many damn Russians? I hate Russians.”
4. Flashback: Bonn, Germany with Margo and his friend, Maksim. Joe remembered when Maksim wanted Joe’s help to leave the KGB.
5. Mystery: Joe is putting the Russian/Gina pieces together.
Intrigue: Secret love affair between Margo and Maksim began in Germany.
6. Threat: Gina’s chip is fading. Intrigue: Speed is vital. Methodical hunt finds Gina’s still working chip in Santiago, Mexico.
7. Intrigue: The hunters assemble their hunting weapons at Tony’s home.
8. Mystery: Joe sleeps in Gina’s office and find the “note with $2500.” For John B.
9. Joe disagrees with the methods/ideas of local police, so he’s taking matters into his own hands with his own “hunters” without police knowledge.
10. FLASHBACK TO 1982 – Margo’s death at the Sands Hotel.
11. Mystery Secret/Maksim’s love affair with Margo is now known to Joe.
12. Otis finds Joe wallowing in alcohol (he doesn’t drink since Margo’s death).
13. Intrigue: Can Otis save Joe from himself and help Joe save Gina?
14. In Mexico, Gina attacks her captor.
15. John B. begs for forgiveness, defends his betrayal, and wants to help. Joe throws him out.
16. Threats: Bad television, on-air publicity for Joe’s casino about mayhem.
17. Threats: Casino lawsuits being filed for accidents, injuries and mayhem.
18. Threats: Maksim orders Gina dropped, without shoes in the Sonoran Desert. “Let the rattlers have her.”
(Page 90) TITLE: “DAY 5 – THE FINAL REVENGE”
1. Security office discussion – no ransom wanted; known it’s only Maksim’s revenge.
2. Maksim discussed as Joe’s ultimate enemy behind everything.
3. Intrigue: Otis lays out his plan for rescue. Joe, Tony, Otis and friends plan.
4. Angela fires Russian nanny, Elba, and buys a guard dog/puppy.
5. Intrigue: Joe calls in his Special Forces contacts, asks General Sawyer for his help.
6. Joe, Otis and Tony prepare the Helicopter for Mexico’s mission.
7. The sisters talk of Gina’s rescue, money needed for the anniversary party.
8. Intrigue: Airport – Joe & team take off for Mexico, know where Gina is being held.
9. Intrigue: The covert rescue begins. Tony tries to sneak on board and go along to Mexico. Otis throws him off.
10. Sadly Francesca confronts Nicky about his betrayal and Maksim’s kidnaping.
11. Intrigue: As planned, Gina’s abductors are sexually misled and tricked.
12. Jimbo, the helicopter pilot guides the trip with expert CIA and special training.
13. Threat: Gina’s chip died while the hunters flew over the desert. Now what?
14. Intrigue: Andre attempts to rape an unconscious Gina. Will he succeed?
15. The abductors with Gina escape in a black van – dropping her in the desert to die.
16. Intrigue: The Helicopter lands and a fight ensues with snipers and abductors.
17. Joe’s age and secret health issues – Can he keep up with the active “shooters.”
18. Will the hunters succeed and rescue Gina? Who will die in the fight?
19. Gina’s rescue is completed. How is Gina doing?
Resolution – Title: “Weeks Later – Secrets kept; Secrets ended, New secrets.”
1. Union settled and casino functioning as patrons return support.
2. 50<sup>th</sup> Anniversary Party planned by the daughter/management team.
3. Thanksgiving gathering – Family at Tony’s home
4. Intrigue: The Daughters all share their new life’s goals.
5. The once fireball Gina hides that she has severe PTSD.
6. Joe’s let go of his past and perfect Margo and is dating Rita.
7. Tony walks again – did that didn’t really need it so, goodbye wheelchair.
8. Intrigue: Francesca’s pregnant. As a devout Catholic, would she abort Nicky’s child if she knew Nick was her only brother by Margo’s indiscretion with Maksim. Is Nicky history?
9. Intrigue: Will Joe acknowledge this secret possibility of fathering Nick in Germany?
10. V. Plan: Revenge – threaten Margo with the truth revealed. Maksim takes the son that Joe and he always wanted. Joe had no idea that the baby wasn’t a miscarriage, but born.
Title: “Is Today the End or the Beginning?
1. Intrigue: Maksim and Nicky dine with Victor – plan their next attack. Why?
2. Does Nick know Francesca’s pregnant by him, and she’s his sister?
3. Intrigue: Will Nick ever find out Joe is his real, biological father or is Maksim?
4. Intrigue: Maksim and Viktor threaten Nicky – our way or incarceration. Why?
5. Intrigue: Joe sets up a final body-guard protected meeting with Maksim.
6. Maksim thinks Joe’s now out for the final revenge. Will they argue/fight to the end?
7. Ending Intrigue: Does Joe kill Maksim? Or does Maksim kill Joe? Is this the end, exposure and finish, of a 30 year-plus secret, revenge feud?
8. Ending Intrigue: Will Joe not press charges for conspiracy/fraud on possibly – his son? Or will Joe take Nick away from Maksim by exposing the lie, then embrace Nick into the family casino business permanently?
8. Ending Intrigue: Tony chides Joe, wants to know if Joe shot Maksim – is he dead? Joe won’t directly tell this secret answer. Tony wants to know if Joe had the “balls” yet?
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Lesson 7
Jeff Hall’s Thriller Plot
What I learned is… to carefully structure the action with a steadily increasing momentum.
1. List out your structure using whatever structure you are comfortable with.
OPENING: Mysterious slaughter of family by unknown killer. Protagonist, Ben, gets high off opium.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ben’s innocent friend is accused and hung for the murder.
TURNING POINT 1: Ben is forced to quit job/lose fiance in order to pursue the real murderer. Jumps the train.
MIDPOINT: He uncovers a trail of countless murders done by cover of night.
TURNING POINT 2: In the next town, Ben is accused and hung for another slaying. Barely survives.
CLIMAX: The serial murderer attempts to murder all the children in orphanage.
RESOLUTION: Ben defeats the murderer and settles in to care for the children.
2. Inside your structure, fill in the gaps with the Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s plan. Do this one at a time. That will keep you from getting confused.
OPENING: Mysterious slaughter of family by unknown killer. Protagonist, Ben, gets high off opium.
a. Who is slaying?
b. Why are the slaying occurring?
c. The towns deputy, Ben, is depressed, depressed, unhappy.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ben’s innocent friend is accused and hung for the murder.
a. Ben’s friend is drug out into the street.
b. Ben is trampled on as he attempts to save him.
c. Ben’s innocent friend is hung.
TURNING POINT 1: Ben is forced to quit job/lose fiance in order to pursue the real murderer. Jumps the train.
a. The sheriff threatens Ben to “leave well enough alone”.
b. After discovering another mirror slaying, Ben declares he will pursue murderer. Sheriff fires him.
c. Ben’s fiance leaves him because of job loss.
d. Injured as he jumps train.
MIDPOINT: He uncovers a trail of countless murders done by cover of night.
a. Finds other murders.
b. Treated like a bum as he joins hobos.
TURNING POINT 2: In the next town, Ben is accused and hung for another slaying. Barely survives.
a. Ben is accused and hung for the murders.
b. Severe injury to the neck. But survives.
CLIMAX: The serial murderer attempts to murder all the children in orphanage.
a. Attempts save the children at the orphanage.
b. Pursues the Tall Man and fights him.
RESOLUTION: Ben defeats the murderer and settles in to care for the children.
a. A peaceful setting with Maria (orphanage ‘mom’) and the children.
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Mona Miller’s Day 8 Assignment to Post – Thriller Plot
Looking back at what I’ve done, I can see that I did not separate the Life Threatening situations, the Mysteries and the Villain’s Plan. I’m so far behind, I just want to post this, and fix it later. I wish I could figure out how to use the Index Card scene navigator feature on Final Draft – I would have preferred to enter this information in there, but couldn’t get it. Anyway, what I’ve learned is I must go step by step, not expect everything to be perfect, and just keep going.
1. Opening Scene – Appears to be extreme mountain climbing situation, very dangerous. Four people linked by ropes, in harnesses, on steep rocky outcrop. Swinging back and forth. Pulling each other up, really feeling the body weights of each other. Only one woman, Dr. Liza Graves, and she’s taller and heavier than some of the men in the group who have to pull her up and don’t look too pleased about it.
2. We pull back a little. We see repeats of the action, with different people pulling the weight of different people. Pulling back further, we realize this is a practice session.
3. We see the entire mountain climbing group together in an expensive mountain hotel. We meet the climbers over cocktails. Two of the crew do not drink at all. The men all seem wealthy, sophisticated, mostly late 30s, 40s, 50s. There is a quiet, dark, mysterious woman. She says very little. She’s a contrast to Dr. Graves, who is open, friendly, American. The Travel Agent, whom many climbers recognize, is a very experienced climber and will be leading this expedition. One more day of acclimating to the altitude, and then we’ll go!
4. The Travel Agent and Ali Patel engage with each other as if not particularly well acquainted in front of the entire mountaineering group.
5. In private, later, the Travel Agent and Patel go over files on the T.A.’s phone concerning each climber. This also introduces each climber, in crass, material terms (what his business is, what he’s worth, why he’s on the trip, what his weaknesses are).
6. The next day, at the practice session, there’s a new, absolutely incredible climber, Brett Dean (mid to late 20s, very handsome, our HERO). He puts the others to shame during the practice – incredibly strong, agile, graceful climber. Patel expresses appreciation for his climbing expertise.
7. Later that night, in private, Patel blows up at T.A. Where are the files on this new guy? Where’s he from? T.A. jokes nervously that Brett works at Langley. Not funny, says Patel, who’s very angry.
8. T.A. uses a hotel computer to check a Swiss Bank account. There’s been a very recent and substantial deposit.
9. Next day the whole troupe goes over the climb. Who’s in charge (T.A.), who’s second in command if T.A. can’t act (Patel), schedule, locations, maps/charts/photos/brochures, sleeping arrangements. Medical assistance mission to help remote villagers way up in the mountains. When we reach the villages, we’ll provide necessary medical supplies, Dr. Graves will tend to the needs of the people there, we’ll take down with us any villagers who need medical help or treatment down here. Then we’ll all descend and get back here. Need to avoid seasonal storms – whole climb should be done in 6 to 8 days, including an overnight with the villagers. But we’ll have our own encampment – and it will be luxurious and comfortable! This is like the mountain climbing version of “glamping.”
10. Day 1 of the actual climb. All goes well. Brett flirts with Dr. Graves, who ignores him. Brett thanks the T.A. for letting him join at the last minute. The T.A. says he appreciates the “tip” Brett provided. “Just hope I get to enjoy it.” (Brett wonders why T.A. seems nervous.)
11. [INCITING INCIDENT] T.A. seems nervous, pre-occupied. They’re stretched out, crossing one deep break in the ridge, attached by ropes. It’s a long way down. Suddenly T.A. falls. Looks like he might take people with him; they’re busy clutching on to the mountainside. Somehow, TA’s rope disengages from others and he tumbles down terrible distance, screaming. Brett Dean detaches himself from others, follows him, using an axe and hand climbing holds, and somehow manages to carry TA’s broken body back up. TA almost died, is in bad shape.
12. Quick establishment of medical emergency tent. Patel smoothly takes charge. Dr. Graves works hard to examine T.A., who’s moaning, semi-conscious. Patel generously offers to contact medi-evac chopper service, help their Leader. Everyone working rapidly together to try to help T.A. All impressed with Patel’s offer. There is some conversation in a foreign language between Patel and some of the “sherpas” as Dr. Graves works on T.A. Dr. Graves seems a bit troubled by conversation, or maybe it’s her concern over T.A. being so seriously injured. Using their portable sat-phone, Patel summons chopper. Another climber volunteers to go back with TA – he’s not conscious, someone should be with him. Patel says that’s not necessary, the crew will take care of him when they land, they know what to do. Climber insists.
13. Chopper arrives. Pilot seems to know Patel. They load in broken body of TA on a gurney, along with nice passenger. Patel puts something in the chopper as it takes off.
14. Nice passenger chats to unconscious T.A., tells him everything will be okay. Pilot seems unnerved that T.A. had this kind of accident – he’s such a great climber. Passenger agrees, I shouldn’t have signed on for this – too hard for me. I’m glad to be going home. From now on, I’ll just enjoy the views from aircraft.
15. Patel, in private, presses a device.
16. The chopper, far away from the pickup point, blows up, killing everyone on board. [End of Act 1]
Act 2 – the expedition continues
17. Very tense dinner in tent. How could their experienced expedition leader have fallen? Patel discourages questioning, is very controlling. Dr. Graves is his ally – we mustn’t lose focus. Can’t afford to make mistakes, look what happened to a very experienced climber like the T.A.
18. Everyone goes to bed nervous in his/her own tent.
19. Next day they have a great day climb. People are more upbeat.
20. At dinner, someone asks how T.A. is doing. Patel tells them he’s been told that he’s going to get better, will recover. Brett Dean seems upset by this, says nothing.
21. Patel and Dr. Graves spend some time together, Patel seems more relaxed. He tells her about villagers’ needs. Dr. Graves assumes boxes they’re bringing up with them are to supply villagers. What’s in them? Could she see? Patel seems very open about it. Gives her manifests that purport to disclose contents of boxes. Patel asks if she’d like to continue working with the villagers when they get there – she could come down later, with a subsequent trek.
22. Dr. Graves intrigued by offer, but is supposed to return to her ER job in Colorado – after her vacation.
23. Brett Dean seems jealous of Patel. Also suspicious of Dr. Graves.
24. Some climbers are rather depressed, want to go home, worried about T.A. Patel discouraged them from going back with T.A.
25. Next day of climb, Brett Dean feels Dr. Graves out on TA’s chances of survival. Poor, but not impossible, she says. Let’s have Patel make another call – we’re all worried.
26. Patel announces at dinner that unfortunately TA perished from his injuries. Brett Dean seems upset.
27. Brett Dean tells Dr. G in private that the chopper never made it down the mountain, that T.A. was never in any hospital. How do you know? she asks. He has his own sat phone.
28. Dr. Graves seems very suspicious of everyone. Won’t talk openly to anybody.
29. Bad weather leads to loss of some tents and equipment. This will mean new sleeping arrangements. Where will Dr. Graves end up? Mini-competition among men to share their tents with her. She ends up with dark, mysterious, quiet woman.
30. Brett Dean and Patel end up sharing a tent. Patel questions Brett skillfully but volunteers zeros about himself. Patel seems surprised Dean can afford this trek.
31. One of wealthy climbers (Mr. Pershing) expresses curiosity about what’s in the boxes the staff people are lugging up the mountain. Dr. Graves assures him it’s antibiotics, antifungals, bandages, supplies for everyday stuff, illnesses, basic operations, anesthesia, etc. [Based on the manifests Patel showed her] Patel volunteers that they provide some food for the villagers, too – they’re so poor. So canned goods can be very heavy.
32. Leads to discussion of class, productivity, why do these poor people stay up in the mountains if they can’t provide for themselves? Dr. Graves idealistically believes they must want to preserve their indigenous culture, they’re attached to their birthplace, don’t want to leave. Mr. Pershing wants to know what indigenous language they speak. Do they know Spanish? How can you treat them if you can’t communicate with them?
33. Privately Mr. Pershing wonders that Patel can’t identify the language spoken by the people who are receiving all this largesse courtesy of the climbers, and at the weight of these boxes. There must be something in there besides medical supplies. He goes to look and finds guns!
34. More climbing. Patel and Dr. G seem to be getting close.
35. Brett and others suggest changing the order – spread out the top climbers. Don’t bunch them up at the front.
36. Mr. Pershing tells Patel he found guns in one of the boxes! Someone is smuggling. Patel acts shocked, thanks him for the information.
37. Mr. Pershing dies in a freak fire in his tent later that night. His portable heater exploded.
38. Mr. Pershing’s companion on the trip is very upset and suspicious. Pershing was always hot. Never used a heater, even on incredibly cold climbs. Had his own custom sleeping bag, fur-lined.
39. At breakfast, Dr. G is very cold toward the mysterious woman she’s shared a tent with. Brett Dean notices. Dr. G says she saw the woman going through her stuff when she thought Dr. G was sleeping.
40. New problem with food and water contamination and shortages. Rationing instituted. Some climbers wonder if some people are hoarding food and clean water.
41. More equipment failures. Some climbers feel as if this expedition is cursed. Dr. G busy attending to scrapes, bruises, etc.
42. Dr. G very busy in medical tent after they climb. They’re behind schedule now. Some people are super sick, others seem fine. What’s going on? The people who carry their stuff are all fine – they never get sick. Dr. G insists on examining some – she doesn’t want to just be doctor for the rich tourists. She hears them speak Arabic.
43. Patel tells them the expedition sat phone doesn’t work reliably.
44. Mini-mutiny – some people want to return, others want to continue. We didn’t agree to be completely out of communication! But there’s an important humanitarian mission – to help the villagers, and we can still make this fantastic climb, Patel argues.
45. Brett Dean reveals he has his own sat phone. They can use his to call their loved ones. Patel is surprised, unnerved by this news.
46. Brett Dean tells the other climbers that TA never made it to any hospital – the chopper must have crashed – nobody ever heard from the T.A. or from the passenger who went down with him. Climbers are very mad at Patel for lying to them.
47. Patel smoothly lies and tells them he lied to keep up their spirits. It would have spoiled the whole trek if right at the beginning they’d heard about the chopper crash. Better to have hope. Most don’t believe him.
48. Dr. G tells Brett Dean some things about Patel that Patel shared with her. She also tells him the “villagers” returning to their Patel’s background and experience get Dean to thinking. Could Patel be his target? He doesn’t tell Dr. G. what he thinks of Patel.
Act 3
49. They are getting very close to the destination – the “indigenous village” [a Potemkin village which is actually the terrorist training camp]. Extremely difficult climb – have to descend into a hidden valley. Slippery, difficult descent. One has to rely on his fellow climber. Is each climber going to help his team mate? Are some of them killers? Climb cannot be done solo.
50. Hero discovers that Patel is armed! Who will help Hero trap Patel? Can he count on Dr. Graves?
51. Dramatic fight. Hero captures, subdues Patel – with Dr. Graves’ help. Patel is tied up.
52. Lackeys of Patel flee when Patel is captured. In their haste, some fall to their deaths.
53. Hero doesn’t want to go to “village” with Patel. Dr. Graves convinces him to let her go, deal with medical needs of the “villagers” and she’ll note the layout, how many people, etc. (Important information Brett was supposed to get.)
54. Hero watches over Patel. Hero leaves briefly to check on gear, food, water. Patel manages to communicate with villagers (using Brett’s stolen sat phone) – putting Dr. Graves in serious danger. Will “villagers” kill her?
55. Brett overcomes Patel, ties him up, tries to get to village.
56. Dr. Graves cleverly protects herself, “villagers” really do need her medical expertise, she speaks Arabic and can communicate with them. She escapes back, meets Brett on the way back. Brett fills her in on his identity (CIA spy). They return to the subdued Patel. Brett still a little nervous about whether Dr. G will help him. Maybe she’s in cahoots with Patel? She got out of village successfully without his help.
57. Hero and Dr. Graves push Patel off the mountain to his [presumed] death. They can’t climb with him tied up, and they don’t trust him. They’re in a hurry to get back down the mountain, with the contraband, which they can’t carry all of – they hide it, and take some of it as samples.
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I posted a few minutes ago and have the same problem I’ve had before – there’s no “done” button to click so it records me as being done.
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Julio Tumbaco’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned is that mastering this skill set is key to creating a Thriller map.
- Opening: in a car, a baseball uniformed player runs over another baseball uniformed player
- Inciting Incident: while having kinky sex with ELLA, OWEN sees and talks to NICK
- Turning Point 1: OWEN tells ELLA that NICK informed him that ELLA killed NICK
- Midpoint: ELLA killed NICOLETTE not NICK
- Turning Point 2: ELLA discovers OWEN’s plan to go to the police
- Climax: ELLA changes her strategy from denial to empathy and support; sends OWEN to a suicide trauma therapist
- Resolution: ELLA convinces OWEN that his death is the only way to his happiness w/NICK
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Julio TUMBACO.
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Daniel’s Thriller Plot
What I learned in this assignment is a great way to get a birds eye view of how much mystery and tension, or a lack of mystery and tension is in the story.
OPENING: While following a lead our hero is ambushed and shot.
Life Threatening 1: Is he going to die?
Mystery 1: Who would shot a cop?
INCITING INCIDENT: He begins investigating a series of grisly, ritualistic murders.
Mystery 2: Who would murder someone in this bizarre, methodical way?
TURNING POINT #1: With a stroke of investigative luck he finds that it might be cops involved in the murders.
Mystery 3: Are these murders and abduction being carried out by cops?
MIDPOINT: He finds out that there is a secret police sect that is involved in the murders and people being snatched up and disappearing, and he has no idea how many cops are involved.
Mystery 3: Who is all involved in this? How much of and how high up in the department does this go?
TURNING POINT 2: he discovers that there is no one he can trust in the department, even his partner is involved.
Mystery 4: How has his partner been hamstringing this investigation?
CLIMAX: Our hero catches up to the villain, but he only knows what has happened, he has got no proof, so he can’t arrest him.
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