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Day 8 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
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9 Replies
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Rob’s Pitch Fest Pitch
“Hi, I’m Rob Ingalls and I’m a multi-optioned screenwriter. Today, I have a TV Pilot Drama series called HORIZONS.
Forget violent Gangsters, ruthless Bankers, or even approaching storms. Oh, they’re there. But the real Force of Nature is Molly Fisher, a gutsy widowed farmer’s wife in the 1930s forced to protect her family and farm in a man’s world.
QUESTIONS/ANSWERS:
Q: What is the budget range?
A: The budget range is $15M-$30M.
Q: What actors so you like for the lead roles?
A: Though she’s older than the main heroine in the script, Sandra Bullock has the right temperament onscreen to play the role. She also holds her age well and could pass for someone in their 30s.
Q: What are the Acts of the story?
A: This is a 5-Act script with a teaser at the beginning showing where the heroine will be five years in the future: A powerful leader among farmers in California.
Act-1 introduces us to the Fisher family, including three troubled teens, hard-working wheat farmers in the Great Plains during heavy drought. The local banker not only is corrupt, he’s also Molly’s rapist from years past.
Act-2 ends with Henry Fisher killed by a grain silo accident, leaving Molly to take on the responsibility of farming and fighting ruthless and corrupt men who vie to take their farm and livelihood.
Act-3 has the heroine struggling to control the forces in her life that want to take away what little they have.
Act-4 has an approaching dust storm from miles away, one that leaves devastation in its wake. With the mob breathing down her neck, Molly considers bank robbing to pay off debts. The mob may be involved in Molly’s son’s kidnapping.
Act-5 has Molly’s son returned. She begins to suspect that her husband didn’t die in an accident but was killed. The mob enforcer is killed with a pitchfork while the new schoolmarm was last seen holding a bloody pitchfork.
Q: How does it end? (setup / payoff)
The Pilot ends with Molly and family harvesting the wheat fields and a looming and dangerous dust storm about to envelope them.
Q: Credibility questions “What have I done?”
A: Wrote seven feature scripts (two which were optioned) plus one TV Pilot.
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Mary Emmick’s Pitch Fetch Pitch
What I learned is the importance of giving those you pitch to the exact information they need in the order they read it. It’s important to pitch the way a producer’s brain works.
Hi, I’m Mary Emmick and I’m an author of several books. Today I have a Coming-of-Age/Drama called Don’t Look Away, Isabel.
When a teen from a small farm town realizes who her fiancé is she struggles to find meaning and love as she is confronted with discrimination and disinformation during the time of COVID-19.
QUESTIONS/ANSWERS
Q. What is the budget range?
A. The budget range is $15M – $30M.
Q. What actors do you like for the lead roles?
A. Actors for the lead roles: Isabel could be an up- and -coming actress such as Talia Ryder, Joey King, Olivia Rodrigo, Bailee Madison or Jenna Ortega. Tyler could be an actor such as Tye Sheridan, Austin Abrams, or Logan Lerman. Isabel’s mom could be Molly Ringwald. Isabel’s dad could be Sean Penn. Victor could be Taylor Zakhar Periz, Diego Tinoco, or Froy Gutierrez.
Q. What are the Acts of the story?
Act I: Isabel’s life comes apart when she breaks up with her fiancé and struggles with her parents and community who disregard science in response to a pandemic. Her heart is troubled.
Act II: Isabel is challenged to integrate her new friends and new understanding with the old ways of thinking that still surround her. Her heart is opening.
Act III: Through trials Isabel finds meaning and happiness in this new world.
Q. How does it end? (setup / payoff)
Don’t look away is a theme that runs through the film. Her history teacher says to her, “Don’t look away from injustice, Isabel” is one example. The final scene shows Victor standing behind Isabel in a colorful hot air balloon floating in the sky. He says to her, “Don’t look away, Isabel.” She turns around toward him. They kiss.
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Lenore Bechtel’s Pitch Fest Pitch
I learned from this assignment that by editing out details I once thought important for describing my scripts, I could make it easier to understand and actually increase suspense about how the outcome was accomplished. Here’s my pitch:
My name’s Lenore Bechtel and I’m a 13-play produced playwright and a former Sweet Adeline. I’ve written a family comedy called SWEETIE HEAVEN, which is where all barbershop singers are when they win competitions and where they expect to be when they sing in the afterlife.
This could be a very low-budget film using singers/actors from any winning SA chorus (500 worldwide) and maybe even with stars like Olivia Rodrigo (Disney’s Bizaardvark) or Meredith Bechtel (Dear Evan Hansen) as Meredith and Forrest Goodluck (The Revenant) as Quincy.
My story wonders how my protagonist Meredith—a third generation Sweet Adeline—can sing her own style without alienating her family and remain a virgin without losing her horny boyfriend?
Her Dapper Dolls quartet loses their tenor because Meredith goes rogue on stage, and they must find a new tenor in time to win the 1984 Gulf-Atlantic Regional for Meredith’s grandmother’s first chance at nationals.
Gran, whose name is Marilee, gave her girls stage names: Marilou who became a top gun Sweetie, and Marijane, the family skeleton who either dropped out or was kicked out of the original Dapper Dolls. Marilou hates that Meredith dislikes strictly barbershop.
Meredith and her Native American boyfriend Quincy are writing songs for an album called “Songs of Sages,” but that comes to a halt after Meredith refuses a diamond ring because it comes with sexual expectations, and she has taken a vow of chastity until marriage.
Heartbreak! Meredith dumps Quincy when she sees him taking out Sexy Squaw.
Complications! The Dapper Dolls keep losing tenors.
Conflict! Marilou slaps at Meredith for forming a new quartet, the Rhythmettes, to sing her original music.
Good news! A Record Producer is in the Gulf-Atlantic competition.
Bad news! No singer will be allowed to sing in two quartets.
Still, the Dapper Dolls win so Gran gets her chance at nationals, but the Rhythmettes’ “Biblical Brushoff” about dumping guys who pressure gals for pre-marital sex starts an avalanche of females swarming the stage to hug the quartet.
Backstage after the show the Record Producer says he’ll have the Rhythmettes’ single on the airwaves pronto and encourages Quincy and Meredith to finish their album.
A backstage crowd gathers as Quincy sings a proposal to Meredith promising to honor Meredith’s chastity vow and keep it himself if she will accept the diamond engagement ring.
As he slips it on her finger, he says he hopes their new break in the record business will make their engagement a short one, and Gran says, “Yes! And give me a great granddaughter—a fourth generation Sweet Adeline.”
All form a circle, kick, lift their arms toward Sweetie Heaven, and shout, “It’s great to be a Sweet Adeline!” And that concludes my very merry, musical.
If you’d like to read this script, I’ll be in sweetie heaven the moment I get it out to you.
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John Stimson’s Pitch Fest Pitch
5. What I learned is that the pitch about using the story’s strongest hook to give the recipient a taste of the story and having them wanting to ask questions about your story, yet still you must walk that line of enticing and having them want to know more (want to ask to read your screenplay).
“HI, I’m John Stimson. Today, I have a thriller that won Best Original Screenplay at the 2021 Paris Film Festival, it’s called THE TERRORIST. It’s a story about a brilliant and charismatic engineering professor who is also a think tank domestic policy security expert who devises scenarios to protect Americans from terrorists, like him.”
4. – It’s a Middle Budget production; it calls for stunts, action, and a movie star.
– George Clooney, Jon Hamm, or Kyle Chandler to play the lead.
– In Act 1, Professor Case is a man living two very extraordinary lives; he is brilliant at both and we’re envious of both. We’re also introduced to a young Seattle cop, Baylor, who is a family man and a damn good police officer, maybe a little too intense. Case is involved in something nefarious with a political powerbroker who uses a private jet for his office.
In Act 2, Case blows up the Seattle federal courthouse. Baylor’s wife and son are among those killed. Federal law enforcement comes to investigate, including ATF agent Miranda Tucker. She soon believes the courthouse bomb is like another bomb she investigated. Case bombs other political targets in the Seattle area. Baylor deals with his grief. Case requests that Baylor deliver a ransom demand. Baylor accepts to mete out revenge, but Case evades. We find out the reason for blowing up the courthouse was that a grand jury was convened there and going to indict Case’s benefactor, the political powerbroker.
In Act 3, Case uses his lover to deliver a bomb to the feds’ investigating him command center; she realizes that he sent her to die—this guy is a sociopath. Miranda and Baylor prevent the bomb from detonating. Baylor pursues Case in a wild car chase. Case goes to trial and is found guilty of his crimes and sent to federal lock-up.
– The twist ending is Baylor and Miranda race to the federal lock-up just in time to see the smug look on Case’s face as he is released from prison. Thanks to Case’s benefactor, the political powerbroker, Case received a full presidential pardon. Case goes back to teaching and is received on campus like some folk hero. In an epilogue, Baylor has joined the ATF and is Miranda’s partner and they arrive at the bombing of a police station in Oregon that could have been Case’s doing.
– I earned my bachelor’s degree from the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts. Two other screenplays I have written have recently won Best Screenplay Awards in Film Festival screenwriting competitions. I am an optioned screenwriter. And I am an attorney.
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Melanie’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned was that you really need to be able to communicate your project succinctly. If you can hook them with your project, they can too.
I’m a produced screenwriter with another script in development at a production company.
“Murder, Ink” – Thriller
A young writer discovers a killer is using her latest novel as a plot for her own death.
The budget range is low budget – $500K-$5M.
The lead “Blake” might be a great role for Naomi Scott (“Anatomy of a Scandal” & Amblin’s upcoming ”Distant”) or Maya Hawke (“Stranger Things”). A great actor to play the killer would be Henry Cavill who was Sherlock Holmes in “Enola Holmes.”
Act One begins with a bestselling author, Oscar Matthews, meets the same end as his main character – washed up under Savannah’s Talmadge Bridge. Blake, the main character, is a young writer who hopes to follow in the literary footsteps of her deceased father whose work was never published. Always one to leap before thinking, she enrolls in a class, where she meets and hastily marries a handsome man, and signs with an agent who promises her a publishing deal for her current book. All seems well until…
…Act Two, when her husband mysteriously disappears. Stunned, she realizes that in the last chapter of her book, the husband also vanishes. She stops writing, fearing her words are coming true, and starts to investigate his disappearance. But her life gets worse – her bank account is drained, she is threatened by thugs, and she’s served an eviction notice. All the while her agent pushes her to finish the book.
In Act Three, she moves in with her sister and the search for her husband intensifies. Clues lead her to her agent’s condo in Atlanta where she finds not only the killers but the truth – which all ties back to her father’s untimely death.
Turns out – her husband is alive and has masterminded the plot to kill her. With the help of his siblings (Blake’s agent and a brother who owned the local bookstore), he killed Oscar Matthews who had stolen Blake’s father’s unpublished work. Blake is ahead of them though, as cops to listen in to their confession via cell phone, and arrests are made. Blake takes over the bookstore and she starts a new book entitled – “Murder, Ink.” Her husband, though, gets out on good behavior, and hops a plane out of the country seated next to another writer.
I wrote a thriller distributed by A&E and I recently wrote a serial work-for-hire interactive game. I have another script based on a true story currently being developed at another production company. I have a BFA from New York University.
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Bob Bland… PITCH FEST PITCH
Learned? How to organize a pitch, and understand what producers really want.
Hi, I’m Bob Bland. In preparation for writing this script, I interviewed multiple veterans and refugees from the Vietnam War and attended their cemetery memorials.
Today I have a drama/romance. My title is Doc Band-Aid.
Can two emotionally wounded people confront their past, heal, and love again?
It’s a low-budget film.
I feel it’s a great role for someone like Ryan Gosling, maybe Chris Evans.
Prologue…
Devastated by his final days in the war, having witnessed both the bombing of the village where the love of his life lived and the battlefield death of his fellow medic and best friend, Frank was changed forever.
Act 1…
Now fifteen years later, back in the United States, Frank is traumatized and homeless. One day, waking up from a drunken stupor, he spots what he thinks is a Vietnamese woman spreading flowers on the ocean and decides to follow her.
Act 2…
Shocked to find out she is Tam, his fiancé from the war, he is soon devastated to find out that she wants nothing to do with him, telling him she believes he abandoned her when he didn’t return from a mission. Furthermore, she is now engaged to a successful doctor.
Despite this, she encourages Frank to pursue the art career he once dreamed about during the war. He is soon to get rejected when an art gallery tells him his art lack depth and heart.
Frank tries to tell Tam what really happened on the battlefield when he witnessed the death of his best friend but senses all is lost when she tells him she could never get back with him, fearing he might again leave her.
Act 3…
Now knowing he must get on with his life, Frank redoubles his efforts and returns to the gallery with artwork that evokes heart and emotion. At an art exhibition featuring his work, he is elated to see Tam. Both viewing Frank’s painting of the battlefield death of his best friend and finally understanding and accepting what really happened, they rip off their emotional band-aids and kiss, both now hopeful for their future together.
I refined the script with notes and feedback from industry experts. A table read was held with professional actors to ensure the dialogue was fluent.
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Laura Hyler’s Pitch Fest Pitch Lesson 8 6/3/22
What I learned doing this assignment is that I struggle to state what my credibility is, although I have an extensive writing background (and a Master’s in English), acting and working as a stage manager for “Little Shop of Horrors.” This is largely because I am not yet optioned, or published.
Hi, I’m Laura Hyler and today I have a drama called Fire ‘n Ice. It’s a fictional story based on real life experiences of interracial couples. After having many experiences that interracial encounter, I feel that my real-life experiences uniquely qualify me to write a screenplay about it.
The story is about Naomi who naively believes that she lives in a post-racial America. She and her partner ignore some issues that come up, until they are forced to face matters head on. How they react will determine whether they can have a lasting relationship.
The budget range is 15-30 million.
The two actors I like for the lead roles would be Russell Hornsby or Lamman Rucker (Kofi) and
Rose Byrne or Jessica Alba as Naomi. Other actors for secondary roles could be Carrie Coon as Jeanine, Lakeith Stanfield as Cal, Andrea Navedo as Jacinta, Gabrielle Union as Cherie and Uzo Aduba as Letitia.
The acts of the story are:
ACT 1- Naomi (a widow) has an unpleasant breakup with long term boyfriend. Meets someone at her organization’s fundraiser.
ACT 2- Kofi asks Naomi for a “real” date. Kofi’s friend leaves Naomi out of their wedding guest list. Kofi moves in with Naomi.
ACT 3- Naomi is passed over for a promotion by a guy who has pursuing her and happens to be racist. Kofi breaks up with Naomi when he discovers that he was not invited to her sister’s wedding.
ACT 4- Naomi tries to prevent Kofi’s deportation due to a HB-1 Visa paperwork screw up from his employer. Naomi gets to the airport in time to see the plane take off. All hope is lost-until Kofi appears behind her. They get back together and get married.
I have experience writing screenplays, acting as a stage manager, and acting. I have an extensive background in writing in a variety of mediums.
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Gordon’s Pitch Fest Pitch
I learned a solid method to pitching and gained the confidence to do so. Thank you.
Hi. I’m Gordon.
I spent nearly a year researching the major factual components for this project, interviewed more than a hundred individuals and amassed 300 documents in the writing process. That was a thrill. But today I do have a THRILLER called HARDWIRED.
A black woman, GWEN, would be murdered by one of the world’s most formidable assassins. She’s targeted merely because she inadvertently received a file that should NEVER have been sent to anyone. It belongs to a rich psychopath. He orders the “hit” on Gwen.
But when locating Gwen, and just about to pull the trigger, the assassin suddenly vanishes. Instead of executing her, the killer leaves a recorder. Its message says, “if you want to live, you must trust me and do exactly as I say.”
Now why would anyone trust the assassin sent to kill you?
If she follows the assassins’ instructions will she survive?
But then, why does the killer forego the hit in the first instance?
PRODUCERS’ QUESTIONS
BUDGET:
Mid range (12-25M). Depending on talent. It has only four roles. Two roles are played by one actor. And it easily satisfies “contained” requirements if necessary.
WHAT ACTORS DO I LIKE IN LEADING ROLE:
Rosario Dawson – The Waterman (2020) (adventure drama $383M)
Zoe Kravitz – Catwoman in The Batman (2022) (action crime $770M)
DeWanda Wise – Scrappy pilot in Jurasic World (2022) ($393+M opening wknd)
GIVE ME THE ACTS OF THE STORY
Act I: (25 pgs)
1 Opening page: GWEN (protagonist) meets the next assassin who smashes through her door just as the final seconds of a countdown tick off on her computer.
2-10 Set up: Bulk of story starts six days earlier: Gwen lives a tranquil existence in mountain/lake cabin. She works from home, secretive computer stuff is all we know.
Set ups: (not disclosed)
11-25 Debate section. Questions: Will Gwen ever know she’s being hunted? Would she survive?
p.14 – Catalyst moment – Chris files incident report against Gwen’s stated request. Chris doesn’t know, it would become the road map of assassins to locating Gwen.
Act II-1 (35 pgs)
26-44 (not revealed)
45-61 Gwen’s discreet and private world begins to implode. She finds the file, reads it, gets sick, knows she’s about to be killed. Wonders how much time she has. How she would survive.
(remainder not revealed)
Act II-2 – Mara’s revenge on Jeb. Gwen’s survival against assassin. Gwen survives FBI scrutiny (28 pgs)
61-89 (remainder not revealed).
Act III – Concluding scenes (15 pgs)
89-103 (not revealed)
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N Lucas Create your entire Pitch Fest Pitch. Assignment 8
What I learned was that I think this pitch is even more complicated than Assignment 7. I definitely need clarifications on characters – their journey and ending as well as the set up/ pay off in order to have the most effective hook.
Hello, I am Nancy Lucas published author of romance; I’ve read and reviewed hundreds of books in the romance genre for publication.
I have a romantic comedy made for television entitled ‘A Tropical Christmas’
Pressured by a neighboring developer to sell, Nicole, owner of the mid-century-modern Flip-Flop Motel in Cupid’s Cove Florida, struggles to keep her sunny disposition after finding the late tax payments her father was hiding. Doubling as hotel receptionist and wedding planner she fights to keep the business of a demanding city lawyer tasked with planning his best friend’s beach wedding on Christmas day -which is 5 days away. While also keeping the reasons for visits from the health department under wraps.
The budget range is low budget: 500k to 5 million
In the lead roles I envision Alison Sweeny and Ryan Paevey. Both have great notoriety and recognition by being in some of the most popular Hallmark Movies.
There are three acts which follow the 4 phases of the Romantic Beats to a successful story. (I know I need to write these out–)
Set up: Peter is a planner who finds spontaneity very discomforting. In the end, ‘All the planning in the world couldn’t have prepared this lawyer for a cocktail at sunset on the Gulf of Mexico at the Flip-Flop’
–Please let me know if this length of pitch is too long! I don’t know where to shorten it without losing the story…
Thank you
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