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Day 8 Assignments
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Cameron Martin’s Amazing Final Line!
What I learned doing this assignment is…I had some understanding of this concept coming into this assignment, but the different strategies really brought it into focus. I have my problems with the twist ending of “Solving the Puzzle,” but at least it’s a tool in my back pocket. Better to be equipped with a strategy that could lead to a script getting sold than ignoring the tool all together for the sake of my own preferences. One other thing I’ll note is how this will help keep me from taking a great ending, and ruining it by concluding the script with an otherwise contrived or stale final line.
Directly answer the main question the entire movie is about.
Isaiah, who’s never been the hugging type, reaches up and embraces his dad. Sully, shocked at first, holds the most important person in his life in his arms.
ISAIAH
What’s going to us happen now?
SULLY
I don’t know…
LATER
With the paper documents and Jude’s recordings laying dormant on the floor…
SULLY (CONT.)
But whatever happens…
Sully and Isaiah rest in their respective tombs, side by side.
SULLY (CONT.)
We’ll do it together. I promise.
B. Finally we hear the one thing that the character wouldn’t say in the movie.
LATER
With the paper documents and Jude’s recordings laying dormant on the floor, Sully takes one last look at the planet he fled…
SULLY
Goodbye, Beth.
Before laying down, letting the cybernetic tomb close over him and drifting off into a long, restful slumber.
C. Solve the puzzle.
(NOTE: Structurally, this story’s not built to have a “Solve the Puzzle” style ending. There is a puzzle in this story, and if I wanted to have a downer style ending, I could bring the solution to the puzzle into the final page. The problem is that the power in these style of endings is a visual image that is immediately opposite of what the original assumption was (PLANET OF THE APES – Alien planet:Earth; BASIC INSTINCT – Innocent and Safe:Guilty and In Danger; THE SIXTH SENSE – Living:Dead; ATTACK ON TITAN – This is the last of humanity:Humanity’s been alive and well beyond the wall). The puzzle in my story is more conceptual than any of these indicators. I mean, how do you show the elimination of an alien keystone species in a dramatic way. It’s not like showing something that says “My GOD! They killed all the Elephants!” because something alien would by its very nature be unfamiliar to the audience. Beyond that, there’s no mystery with the father and son’s relationship, so the only other option left is some puzzle that involves the Hegemony in some way. I’m not particularly a fan of this ending, but it would be shocking and fit the parameters of this type of ending…)
Sully and Isaiah rest in their respective tombs as…
INT. PASSENGER VESSEL – CRYO CHAMBER
The escape ship interior blows away like a cloud of dust, revealing Sully sleeping in one of a hundred coffins…
And two AGENTS reviewing notes on their tablets.
AGENT 1
Well, this one pretty much failed the simulation.
AGENT 2
Yeah. Breaks my heart when they commit to the kid.
AGENT 1
Unplug him.
Agent 2 reaches behind Sully’s glass tomb and flips a switch.
Sully twitches, before the heart rate monitor flatlines.
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DAY 8 –Parting Words and Visuals – Parts 1 and 2
Lisa’s Amazing Final Line!
What I learned is to take time and work and rework words and sentences to find the best possible ending line.
A. Directly answer the main question the entire
movie is about. Where and with whom does Mary land?EXT-GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE-CHRISTMAS DAY
The town is quiet. Snow is falling. Joseph parks at the beginning of the bridge. He gets out of the car and runs around to help Mary out. He holds her hand as they go to the center of the bridge and look down at the frosty river.
JOSEPH
Mary, you did it! The festival was a huge success. It was very kind of you to rally everyone to save Peter’s shop. It’s important for the town. And for you and the girls. I hope that you have seen how devoted I’ve been to you. I can offer you things, but I know that you’re not interested in things. What I want to give you is me.
Joseph reaches in his pocket and pulls out the little blue Tiffany’s box he had earlier. Mary stares at him but doesn’t say a word.
JOSEPH
You know I love you. (chuckling) I’ve told you a million times. (pause) Once you saved someone on this bridge…save me too Mary. Marry me.
Mary looks at Joseph. She looks at the frozen river. The camera freezes on Mary’s face.
FADE OUT
FADE UP
Title says, “One Year Later”.
We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats, like the regional grape pie. We see Uncle Billy getting a drink of water. Then he runs and we follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there in pajamas shaking and counting the presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and sets a Peppermint Pig on the coffee table. It’s a Wonderful Life is on the tv.
MARY
(Calling upstairs)
Come on, we’re going to open presents now!
Joseph mimics flying down the stairs.
JOSEPH
Watch out, I’ve got my wings!
He kisses Mary and grabs a spot on the couch. Mary smiles and joins him.
MARY V.O.
I didn’t go to an exciting new town, but Seneca Falls can be pretty exciting too. At least once a year.
It’s the end of It’s a Wonderful Life and we hear Auld Lang Syne being sung. We pull out of Mary’s house and view the street lined with old Victorians in the snow. Fly over downtown dressed up for Christmas. The church bells ring. And we see the George Bailey bridge.
THE END
B. Finally we hear the one thing that the character
wouldn’t say in the movie. Mary finally admits she loves Seneca Falls and its people.EXT-GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE-CHRISTMAS DAY
The town is quiet. Snow is falling. Joseph parks at the beginning of the bridge. He gets out of the car and runs around to help Mary out. He holds her hand as they go to the center of the bridge and look down at the frosty river.
JOSEPH
Mary, you did it! The festival was a huge success. It was very kind of you to rally everyone to save Peter’s shop. It’s important for the town. And for you and the girls. I hope that you have seen how devoted I’ve been to you. I can offer you things, but I know that you’re not interested in things. What I want to give you is me.
Joseph reaches in his pocket and pulls out the little blue Tiffany’s box he had earlier. Mary stares at him but doesn’t say a word.
JOSEPH
You know I love you. (chuckling) I’ve told you a million times. (pause) Once you saved someone on this bridge…save me too Mary. Marry me.
Mary looks at Joseph. She looks at the frozen river. The camera freezes on Mary’s face.
FADE OUT
FADE UP
Title says, “One Year Later”.
We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats, like the regional grape pie. We see Uncle Billy getting a drink of water. Then he runs and we follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there in pajamas shaking and counting the presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and sets a Peppermint Pig on the coffee table. It’s a Wonderful Life is on the tv.
MARY
(Calling upstairs)
Come on, we’re going to open presents now!
Joseph mimics flying down the stairs.
JOSEPH
Watch out, I’ve got my wings!
He kisses Mary and grabs a spot on the couch. Mary smiles and joins him.
MARY V.O.
Turns out I love “It’s a Wonderful Life”, after all…and all who come with it.
It’s the end of It’s a Wonderful Life on the tv and we hear Auld Lang Syne being sung. We pull out of Mary’s house and view the street lined with old Victorians in the snow. Fly over downtown dressed up for Christmas. The church bells ring. And we see the George Bailey bridge.
THE END
C. Solve the puzzle. Who does Mary end up with and does she stay or leave Seneca Falls?
EXT-GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE-CHRISTMAS DAY
The town is quiet. Snow is falling. Joseph parks at the beginning of the bridge. He gets out of the car and runs around to help Mary out. He holds her hand as they go to the center of the bridge and look down at the frosty river.
JOSEPH
Mary, you did it! The festival was a huge success. It was very kind of you to rally everyone to save Peter’s shop. It’s important for the town. And for you and the girls. I hope that you have seen how devoted I’ve been to you. I can offer you things, but I know that you’re not interested in things. What I want to give you is me.
Joseph reaches in his pocket and pulls out the little blue Tiffany’s box he had earlier. Mary stares at him but doesn’t say a word.
JOSEPH
You know I love you. (chuckling) I’ve told you a million times. (pause) Once you saved someone on this bridge…save me too Mary. Marry me.
Mary looks at Joseph. She looks at the frozen river. The camera freezes on Mary’s face.
FADE OUT
FADE UP
Title says, “One Year Later”.
We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats, like the regional grape pie. We see Uncle Billy getting a drink of water. Then he runs and we follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there in pajamas shaking and counting the presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and sets a Peppermint Pig on the coffee table. It’s a Wonderful Life is on the tv.
MARY
(Calling upstairs)
Come on, we’re going to open presents now!
Joseph mimics flying down the stairs.
JOSEPH
Watch out, I’ve got my wings!
He kisses Mary and grabs a spot on the couch.
MARY
And you gave me mine!
Mary jumps over the back of the couch and joins him. It’s the end of It’s a Wonderful Life on the tv and we hear Auld Lang Syne being sung.
MARY V.O.
Every day we all move at blizzard speed thinking we’re in the river alone, but no one is alone who has friends and family!
We pull out of Mary’s house and view the street lined with old Victorians in the snow. Fly over downtown dressed up for Christmas. The church bells ring. And we see the George Bailey bridge.
THE END
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PS81 Day 8 (Writing Great Endings) Anita’s Amazing Final Line!
What I learned: That I really need to APPLY what I have learned. And if it fits this particular script, then GREAT! And if not, I have new tools in my kit for the next screenplay. So, thanks for that.
Factoring in these last three challenges, I added to my existing final scene with one final twist that allows the characters to express everything heretofore left unsaid. And to also perform an act of closure with Harley being arrested (meaning she didn’t get away with murder). So it’s a sort of combination of all three options. I don’t know if I am objective enough in this moment to know which ending works best – open, leaving the audience wondering and with a jaw drop; or – the more satisfying neatly wrapped-up version. TBD.
ASSIGNMENT
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Try out each of these possible final lines/images on your script.
1. Brainstorm ways to do each of the following with your story. And if you have to change your entire third act to do each of them, do it. Why? Because it might just give you the amazing ending you hope for.
A. Directly answer the main question the entire movie is about.
B. Finally we hear the one thing that the character wouldn’t say in the movie.
C. Solve the puzzle.
2. Select the best final line/image and write the final scene.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DUSK
Eyes groggily open. The hospital room looks eerily similar to the opening scene – especially through the gloomy dusk and hazy lens of post-op drugs.
A TV news anchor is nattering in the background.
Wincing in pain, it is Danica who hobbles out of bed, and with weak and wobbly arms drags her I.V. pole limping toward to a mirror.
Gingerly lifting her hospital gown she discovers a large bandage over her lower right abdomen. She warily peels back the white gauze to reveal a long red angry trail of stitches.
Danica’s deeply confused. Is this the kidney transplant she was praying for?
Harley walks in, smiling, fresh as a daisy.
Danica is stunned silent. This is obviously her daughter, as they practically look like sisters.
Danica sways, wonders what kind of drugs she’s on. She turns back to her mirrored image – then to Harley – yep, there’s really two of them in the room.
Harley nonchalantly picks up the TV remote and raises the volume.
TV ANCHOR
.. the tragic hit-and-run of Circuit Appeals Court Judge Cyrus Kilner at his home early this morning. Police say their only lead is a silver sedan seen driving on the street. If anyone has more information –
Harley clicks the report off.
She turns to her mother, a sublime grin on her face.
HARLEY
Well, at least he did one thing right in his life – he was signed up as an organ donor.
Danica’s knees give out and she slides into a chair like jello.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
Maybe his nickname should have been Ford – you know, like Grandpa Edgar was called Harley, and that’s what killed ‘em.
Danica goes from pale to ashen, eyes wide on the stranger before her.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
What? Too soon?
Harley rings out a strange bright laugh at her own twisted joke.
CYRUS
Inside family joke? I’m family. Let me in on it.
Harley spins around in shock to see Cyrus standing there in the doorway on crutches, a leg cast from toes to his groin.
Danica’s head is spinning.
Behind Cyrus are two police officers. They walk in and cuff a sputtering Harley.
HARLEY
But you – I thought – this can’t be right –
CYRUS
None of this has been right.
DANICA
Wait!
The officers pause, one on each side of a glazed-looking Harley.
Dani puts her hands over her eyes, confused, disoriented.
DANICA
I don’t understand. I thought –
(pins Cyrus with a look)
So whose kidney do I have?
CYRUS
An anonymous donor from the UNIS list. When they brought me in, the doc who cleared me of internal injuries happened to be yours, and we had a chat.
He shrugs a bit sheepishly.
CYRUS
I may have pulled one or two strings about your placement on that list.
DANICA
So I really do have a second chance.
Dani turns to Harley.
DANICA
And I should never have given you one to begin with.
Harley spits back with real venom –
HARLEY
And without him here, you still would have died. So, you’re welcome.
The police haul Harley out trailing her crazy laughter down the hall.
FADE TO BLACK.
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Dev Ross – FINAL LINE
What I learned: By adding this final line – just as an exercise – I found that it really did lead my character to a fuller arc. He finally realized his folly. I think the line will stay.
INT. ABANDONED COTTON MILL – CONTINUOUS
With the shimmers quickening, and the building continuing to lose pieces of itself, Clay and Lincoln appear and disappear all over the mill. Their shouts become disembodied, broken up, elongated until they become a sound miasma – all while firing upon one another as they appear, disappear along with the SHIMMERS.
A huge, multi-colored SHIMMER passes, leaving the men facing each other like gunfighters. Then–
Lincoln blinks, suddenly remembering a piece of his old self. He looks at the gun in his hand as if seeing it for the first time.
LINCOLN
No… This isn’t right. This isn’t me.
Clay shows nothing.
Lincoln claws back at who he once was…
LINCOLN
Did you know my father was white?
Lincoln just put a claw into Clay, who steps back, suddenly out of balance.
CLAY
You’re still black.
LINCOLN
I hated him.
CLAY
I hated mine.
LINCOLN
So, we have stuff in common. Maybe more than you’re willing to admit.
CRACK! The cotton mill continues its slow breakdown.
CLAY
It changes nothing.
LINCOLN
I’ve got to hand it to you. I’m wavering here but not you.
But for a second Clay does. He wavers.
Lincoln sees that — and the SHIMMER that’s kicking up. Not about to lose the chance that might be his last, he fires! BAM! But the SHIMMER washes over them, slowing his bullets. Clay fires too. BAAAAM! BAAAAM!
The SLO-MO bullets head to each other through the prolonged SHIMMER. Finally, they strike their targets, first Clay, second Lincoln.
A beat then…
Both men sink to their knees, doing so simultaneously, a mirrored image of each other.
Clay looks at Lincoln, and for the first time, truly and painfully, finally sees…
CLAY
You’re me. You’ve always been me.
A tide of SHIMMERS passes over the two who become one — their faces changing into each other over and over until a single body falls face first – smack into the warehouse floor. In the shadows and darkness, it’s impossible to tell which man it is.
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PS81 – Dana’s Amazing Final Line!
What I learned Doing This Assignment
Brainstorming the final page forced me to consider another ending and determine if my original idea had enough strength.
FINAL PAGE IDEAS:
A. Directly answer the main question the entire movie is about.
The case closed, all loose ends tied up, Sorensen returns home. Sitting with a glass of bourbon, he receives a phone call from an Unknown Caller. Reluctant, drunk, he takes the call. It’s Ryan.
“Hello, detective. How are you this evening?”
Their brief conversation concludes with Ryan telling Sorensen, “I’ll call you sometime.”
B. Finally, we hear the one thing that the character wouldn’t say in the movie.
At her home, Ellen checks on her daughters fast asleep. The home is quiet and at peace. Ellen parts a curtain in the living room. A police cruiser is posted outside. The phone rings. It’s Ryan.
“Good evening, Dr. Ellen.”
His conversation is polite but menacing, letting her know she is still in her thoughts. And that one day, he’ll give her a call.
When he hangs up, Ellen finds one of her daughters standing in the living room. The phone call woke her up. When she asks her mother who called, Ellen says, “Nobody important.”
C. Solve the puzzle.
RESOLUTION: At his desk, Sorensen is contacted by a psychiatrist who was holding a patient for a ten-day psych observation at his hospital that matches Jason’s description. Sorensen searches the county database and finds Jason’s photo listed under the patient’s name. Quickly, Sorensen pulls up Jason’s DMV photo and compares the two pictures. Over this, a montage of statements piecing together clues that reveal Ryan was a different person, leaving Sorensen in shock.
CUT TO BLACK:
FADE IN:
FINAL PAGE:
Aerial shot of San Francisco with the VOICEOVER of a local radio host taking calls about Ellen. Callers are heard, one condemning and one praising Ellen. The final caller is Ryan, posing under another name, and he says, “Hello, Brian. I love your show. I’m a longtime listener. And a first-time caller.”
FINAL PAGE SCENE:
CUT TO BLACK:
A long beat.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
Good morning, San Francisco! It’s a great day to be living in the city by the bay —
FADE IN:
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO – AERIAL SHOT – MORNING
It’s crisp and clean and bright. Traffic is flowing.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
— You’re listening to the Brian Osborn Show. And we are one week and counting, and my callers are still talking about Ellen Landry. So let’s get right to the phones.
We’ve got Maureen from Brisbane on the line. Hello, Maureen. You’re on with Brian.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Hello, Brian. This is Maureen. What Dr. Ellen did was wrng. This was her patient. He needed help. And she pushes him to commit suicide? I mean, didn’t she swear an oath or something? I admit these were unusual circumstances, but she could have waited for the police to negotiate with this man.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
Well, okay. Thanks for the call, Maureen. But you gotta know, you’re swimming against the tide. Most people are in the pro Ellen camp on this. But I appreciate your call.
(beat)
Okay. Let’s go to Jimmy across the bay in Oakland. Hello, Jimmy.
MAN’S VOICE (V.O.)
Hay, Brian. This is Jimmy. That Maureen’s full of crap! What if this was her family? I mean, what else was Dr. Ellen supposed to do? Let that SOB kill her kids? He already shot her husband. And to get him to blow his brains out, that’s lady’s got balls. And when her show comes back, I’m going to call and tell her that.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
Thanks, Jimmy. And I’m sure Ellen appreciates your supports. But you may have to wait awhile for her show to return. Ellen is on hiatus while she and her family recover.
(beat)
Let’s take one more call. We’ve got Steve in Pacifica. Hello, Steve. You’re on with Brian Osborn.
Beat.
RYAN (V.O.)
Good morning, Brian. This is Steve. Love your show. I’m a longtime listener.
(beat)
And a first time caller.
FADE OUT:
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June Fortunato’s Amazing Final Line for Retirement. Day 8 endings
What I learned: Nice opportunity to write the line. Not going to write the scene until I get there. However, it will include all three responses.
A. Directly answer the main question the entire movie is about. Will Roy find his easy retirement and home?
Kim- You look pretty comfortable. Roy- That’s because, Sugar, Sugar, I’m home.
B. Finally we hear the one thing that the character wouldn’t say in the movie.
Kim- do you think you can put up with me. Roy – Are you going to keep running away? Kim. Maybe. As long as you promise to follow me.
C. Solve the puzzle. (major twist final image)
Roy grills, Kim works on the garden, and the dogs run into the frame.
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Kate’s Amazing Final Line!
What I learned doing this assignment is how getting a great ending then informs the rest of the story and in particular brings to the forefront some vague ideas and backstory stuff. I am eager to go back and plant some setups!
A. Directly answer the main question the entire movie is about.
The movie is about: the truth empowers and sets you free.
The resolution: Nia has one last visit with Darrogh. She is still willing to forgive him, to stay and help him, if he will only admit what he did and say he will be different. He doesn’t. She declares she won’t stay and leaves on the bus.
B. Finally we hear the one thing that the character wouldn’t say in the movie.
Nia says to Darrogh: I don’t need/want you anymore
In that final resolution scene with him.
C. Solve the puzzle.
In the closing moments, after the last Darrogh/Nia scene, as we see the bus with Nia leave, Darrogh kills himself – he did ‘kill’ Amahla. It fills in the final piece of the puzzle around her death.
FINAL SCENE(S) last barely 7 pages
After the ‘play’ is performed and Darrogh has seen the true extent of his loss, Nia goes to visit the next day, one last-minute try before she leaves with the troupe. She has said her goodbyes to Luciana (who gave her a letter to read) but is worried about him and still holds out some hope. The visit takes place in the same room where he first told her he was her Dad.
INT.DARROGH’S HOUSE- LIVING ROOM – MID-MORNING
Nia sits by the door where she sat before. Darrogh stands across the room where he was before. They are both very contained and careful.
NIA
Thank you for seeing me.
DARROGH
Of course. You’re my daughter.
NIA
I.. I’m sorry.
DARROGH
About?
NIA
Last night. It must have been hard to hear.
DARROGH
What was hard was you – up there, with THEM! Turned against me. My Daughter!
NIA
Dad! That’s not what I meant.
Darrogh knows what she means but won’t go there.
He turns to the cabinet.
DARROGH
A red?
Nia stands.
NIA
It’s not even noon. No.
We have to talk about it.
Darrogh deliberately opens the bottle and pours himself a drink.
DARROGH
If, as you say, it was hard and you want to make it harder then I need this. You going to object to that?
NIA
No. Of course not.
Darrogh finishes pouring then leans one elbow on the mantle making the most of his size as Nia stands across the room, small against the massive wooden double doors.
DARROGH
So? What is it you want?
Nia is nonplussed. She had expected to find him broken.
NIA
I wanted to see if you were -alright.
DARROGH
Let me see if I have this right. I have been duped out of my fortune, my daughter performs some classical death scene dressed in my dead wife’s dress and you ask if I’m alright?
He is shaking as he tries to keep control.
NIA
Yes.
Darrogh gulps back the wine, slams the glass down and then laughs, a desperate, angry sound.
DARROGH
It’s unbelievable! I was going to give you everything I had. Everything. All you had to do was be loyal, and you’d be a millionairess. Instead, you had to humiliate me in public with the town riff-raff.
Nia regards him steadily.
DARROGH
I’ll get it back. Don’t worry about that. I’ll find a way – I always do. Those small town hicks don’t know who they’re messing with.
Nia nods slowly.
NIA
I think they do. Your Achilles heel? They saw it – and went right for it. They knew exactly who they were dealing with.
He starts to speak. She holds up her hand and takes a couple of steps toward him..
NIA
It’s not the humiliation that has you drinking before noon, it’s the truth. I know the truth about you and my Mother. Do you?
Darrogh is frozen.
NIA
(gently, inviting him)
I just need to hear you say it. To me.
DARROGH
And if I do? Then what?
NIA
I’ll stay with you. We can work this out together.
DARROGH
Nia! You’re my daughter. That’s all that matters. The past is the past.
He is almost pleading.
NIA
I’ve been carrying a dream with me all my life. I came here, found you after years of searching and hoping. And what did I find? I’ve been living inside a black lie.
DARROGH
It wasn’t my lie. You made it up. You wove your own sentimental, rose-colored glass bubble around me and your mother.
NIA
Maybe I did. Please, help me break it. Just say it, Dad.
Darrogh looks as if he might – then can’t.
DARROGH
It’s already broken. There’s nothing to say. You betrayed me and I can’t forgive that.
NIA
YOU can’t forgive?
She is very poised, we see how much she has grown since she was last this room with Darrogh.
NIA
I can and I do. You’re who you are. I accept that. My dear Father, I can only say goodbye and wish you peace. There won’t be another chance, you know that. It’s not about the money – it’s about -.
Darrogh cuts her off with a sweeping gesture. He is struggling to hold emotions at bay.
DARROGH
Stop.
FLASHBACK: INT. DARROGH AND AMAHLA’S HOUSE – 20 years ago
Amahla standing very like Nia is now facing Darrogh.
AMAHLA
I love you. You only. There’s never been anyone else. Send me away from you if you must, but let me see Nia. You’ll kill me!
INT.DARROGH’S HOUSE- LIVING ROOM
Darrogh is standing starring at Nia who meets his eye steadily.
DARROGH
Amahla?
NIA
It’s me, Nia.
Darrogh shakes himself back into the present.
DARROGH
Believe what you wish. I have nothing to say. Except you’re welcome to stay if you want to.
Nia looks at him with almost curiosity and then lets go, smiles gently, and with great dignity walks across the endless Persian carpet to him.
Standing close, she meets his eye.
NIA
I don’t want the dream any more. I don’t need you. I will survive this. I have the best part of your strength, I think.
She stands on tip toe and kisses his cheek.
NIA
Goodbye, Dad.
Nia turns and walks back down the room. Darrogh watches her go.
She steps through the door without looking back.
Darrogh takes step toward the door, stops, turns and reaches for the wine bottle again.
EXT.FIELD – THE TROUPE ON THE BUS.
Shaunn is waiting outside as Nia comes puffing up the hill.
SHAUNN
How did it -?
He sees her face with tears, but clear.
SHAUNN
A hug?
He hugs her tight.
NIA
My bag?
SHAUNN
On the bus.
Ever the gentleman, Shaunn boards the bus then reaches out and (in the reverse of how she arrived) helps her step up into the bus.
The bus rumbles off.
INT.DARROGH’S HOUSE- OFFICE
Darrogh seated at his desk, writing. We see the middle of the letter as he writes.
DARROGH
(writing on the page not V.O.)
I have never forgiven myself. I tried but nothing covered it up. I thought you’d fix it all. I’m glad you escaped. Please forgive me – again.
INT. THE BUS
Driving down the hill and toward the town, as Nia reads the letter from Luciana.
LUCIANA (V.O.)
Dear Nia. You came into this community like a sunbeam and into my heart bringing the light that has been missing for 20 years, since your Mother died.
The Voiceover continues as
EXT. DARROGH’S HOUSE – FRONT STEPS. ARIAL
Darrogh ‘seated’ on the steps leaning against pillar.
LUCIANA (V.O.)
I am so proud of you – your strength and courage and kindness.
Go into the world and shine. Be free. I will make sure your Father is looked after.
Luciana appears running, up the steps toward Darrogh. She reaches him and takes him in her arms, as he topples sideways, and a gun falls from his hand.
The bus enters the same shot, speeding along the roadside, just below the hill with Darrogh’s mansion.
LUCIANA (V.O.)
For your mother who loved him and who I loved, and for you. I promised Amahla I’d take care of you. And now I can.
Come home any time- I am always here.
THE ARIAL SHOT RISES HIGHER AND HIGHER
As the brightly colored troupe-bus leaves the town on the open road and the dark mansion shrinks to a speck.
LUCIANA (V.O.)
Te amo siempre, Luciana.
(in English ‘Love you always’)
THE END
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Kate Hawkes.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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Anna Harper Parting Words and Visuals Day 8
What I learned from this assignment; this gave me the opportunity to re-work all the various components so far in this segment. I am happy with the substance and the balance of the nature of the script after this rework.
MAKING SENSE OF THE ASSIGNMENT BACKSTORY/CHARACTERS
LEAD CHARACTERS
SOPHIE out-of-work actress, ’60s, inherits a legacy with strings attached.
Her live-in boyfriend of 10 years SANDY not thrilled refuses to take on the terms of the will. The will asks for the continued care of Pirate, the deceased’s dog, continuing with his service work to homeless youth, and living at his farm to accommodate Pirate.
Sophie dumps Sandy and heads off for a new life on the farm. She now works with homeless youth at the farm.
COLIN retired policeman teaches Sophie’s boys guitar and self-defense.
He is Sophie’s new trial, boyfriend.
PIRATE
The deceased (James) dog. Pirate is a Newfoundland with superpowers, he is a healer dog.
ALIFE
Alfie is the first dog from SILENT NIGHT. (Episode 1 of 3 part series) He is a littermate of Pirate. He also has a superpower, telepathic communication.
Alfie’s human, Dylan a 13-year-old boy with problems. He helped Alfie locate his littermate Pirate. They are all enjoying a holiday at the farm.
THE LOST BOYS
A group of homeless teenage boys who now live at the farm.
This is an outline of the back story from the mid point on. (In order to make sense of the final scene)
EXT.FARMHOUSE/NIGHT
Police cars roll up, lights and sirens wailing. Dogs start barking.
INT.FARMHOUSE KITCHEN/NIGHT
The boys have come down to see what is going on and witness, the
police revealing to a horrified Sophie, that one of the boys has been selling drugs in town. He was caught out by an undercover policeman. Worse, he has been giving cocaine to Chris who is still very ill from septicemia. The boy is involved in a drug-running scheme known throughout the UK as COUNTY LINES. They use a technique called THE CUCKOO’S NEST.
INT.POLICE STATION INTERVIEW ROOM/NIGHT
Colin and Sophie talk in a nonthreatening/assuring way to the traumatized boy. He reveals that a drug gang member (from London) has taken up residence in his mother’s flat, (the Cuckoo’s Nest)he uses the flat as a base to lure other teens into dealing drugs.
The mother is on welfare and not doing well. She neglects her son; he was taken away by the child protection, he ran away, ended up on the streets, and was recruited by the Cuckoo.
Colin comes to the rescue devising a plan with his former colleagues to ensnare the drug pimp and use him in exchange for a ‘deal’ to catch others playing the “Cuckoo” game.
EXT.PARK/NIGHT
Alfie and Pirate are on hand when the Cuckoo tries to escape the police. The dogs take him down and scare the living daylights out of him.
EXT.SIDE ALLEY OF UPSCALE COFFEE SHOP/DAY
On her walk into town, Sophie sees what looks like a pile of garbage bags moving. It’s another boy, with a garbage bag of his clothes (dressed from head to foot in hot weather in black) collapsed in a heap.
Sophie tries to wake him. He is covered in bites from bed bugs at the shelter, half-starved, and delirious from dehydration.
Sophie calls an ambulance.
Sophie calls Colin on her cell to come and get her. She sits on an ancient church wall and weeps as the ambulance drives off.
INT. COLINS COTTAGE/DAY
Sophie is ready to give up, maybe her ideas are useless, maybe she doesn’t have the chops. She is exhausted.
Sophie uses Colin’s shoulder to cry on. She suggests they go away together.
NOTE (moving from ambivalence to a serious relationship)
All of the assignment requirements are answered. The unspoken, solving the puzzle,
and what is the movie about?
FINAL PAGE PARTING WORDS AND VISUALS
INT.LARGE FARMHOUSE KITCHEN/EVENING
Sophie is feeling the strain, she has an emergency meeting with the boys and opts to turn the farm over to the boys, turn it into a co-op farm, with a couple of hired hands/drug counselors helping out.
The boys express regret, and secretly enjoy the prospect of agency and more freedom.
EXT. CANAL BANK/SUNNY DAY
Sophie and Colin walk along the canal bank to a barge.
The location is a tree-lined canal with a Dutch barge waiting. It is decorated gypsy style.
EXT. TRAIN STATION/DAY
Dylan and Alfie head back on the train to Lyme Regis village. Alfie tells Dylan he wants to complete his search for the last of his littermates, Cocoa.
MONTAGE
EXT.FARM/DAY
Boys attempting to ride horses
Boys feeding the chickens, finding eggs
Rambunctious wheelbarrow races,
Boys cooking burning the dinner,
music practice in the barn,
Boys cleaning the toilets
Pigs run off down the road,
EXT.FARMHOUSE/NIGHT
Pirate catches the boys trying to climb out of the window at night,
and chases them back
MONTAGE CONT
EXT.TOWN STREET/NIGHT
A young person sleeping on the town street passed out, it’s raining, he is under a shop doorway with his legs protruding into the rain. He is oblivious, people walk by. Street musicians stop singing and leave the scene. People leave the supermarket with bags of groceries, ignoring the kid on the street.
EXT.BARGE DECK/SUNNY DAY
Sophie and Colin are chilling on the beautiful boat deck, chugging along the canal waterway, and drinking martinis. She looks at Colin and BEAT
SOPHIE
I just have to have a quick call to the farm.
COLIN
Just stop that for a New York minute. Why are you doing this Sohpie, it has dam near made you sick with exhaustion and you were so depressed after the Incident with the half-dead boy in the alley? Why do you want this? Why can’t we just go on chilling and enjoying ourselves? Like regular old people?
SOPHIE I love the boys is one reason, the other is I’m afraid I’m going to die. I’m afraid I’ll die and I won’t have made a difference.
COLIN You mean you need a reason to get out of bed in the morning?
SOPHIE
Yes, not just falling into another routine of selfish indulgence, preoccupied with the small things, instead of making the world a better place, I want to do the big things. You know, before we croak and on go on a permanent vacay!
COLIN
So hanging out with me and doing cool stuff is not enough for you? So bingo’s not on your agenda then?
SOPHIE.
Laughing
I’m thinking about pushing you overboard right now!
I love hanging out with you, but if you want to hang out with me, I’m going back to the boys and the farm.
I’ll croak with my boots on the ground thank you.
The holiday with the canal boat is super cool, but the cool is wearing off. I’m getting bored. I want to get back to the gritty stuff.
COLIN
Do you want another champagne cocktail, in celebration of our return?
SOPHIE
So do you want to come back with me?
COLIN
What are you doing?
SOPHIE
I can’t stand it any longer, it’s been a month. Just a quick call to see if they have burned the house down.
INT.DYLAN AND ALFIE’S COTTAGE LYME REGIS/NIGHT
Alfie and Dylan are looking at the computer.
DYLAN
I’ve found Cocoa. She’s in Birmingham. I’ll get my Dad to take us there.
ALIFE
Barking, tail wagging acting happy and giddy
CREDITS
EXT.BEACH NEXT TO FARM/DAY
The boys and Pirate are playing on the beach. Sophie and Colin are sitting in deck chairs, then walk to paddle in the sea with the boys.
F.O.
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Matthew Frendo’s Amazing Final Line!
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned the importance of the final line / image and the best way to create it. This will make the ends of my scrips more impactful.
I chose to have them say the one thing they haven’t said throughout the movie.
INT. ALICIA’S APARTMENT – DAY
The three players and Tony are all fast asleep, The Hunt on the TV in front of them.
FLUMP!
Kristen, who was sleeping on Josh, falls over onto the floor with a thud, startling Alicia awake.
Kristen hurries back up. Both her and Alicia whisper the entire time to keep everyone else asleep.
KRISTEN
Sorry! Sorry, fam!
She gets back up into the same position as before.
ALICIA
(to herself)
This family’s crazier than my last one.
KRISTEN
Heard that.
ALICIA
What? I didn’t say–
KRISTEN
You called us “your family!” You love us!
ALICIA
I didn’t say anything.
Kristen bolts up.
KRISTEN
I’m going to write about this in my journal. Such a big day!
ALICIA
It is not– Don’t go writing–
Kristen hurries out of the room. Alicia follows.
ALICIA
Don’t go writing it in that stupid journal!
TONY
Mom? What’s going on?
Alicia hurries back to him.
ALICIA
Nothing, sweetie. Mommy’s just going to murder Aunt Kristen real quick.
KRISTEN (O.S.)
You called me Aunt Kristen! I’m so gonna cry.
Alicia puts her head in her hands.
ALICIA
I thought surviving alone was hard. This family’s gonna kill me.
KRISTEN (O.S.)
You said family again! Heard that!
Alicia just smiles to herself.
FADE OUT
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Day 8 – Parting Words and Visuals – Assignment
Mike O – Amazing Final Line
What I learned by doing this is options allow for creativity and for combinations or pairings. Again, as with the previous assignment, I have found that I can use and will use a combination of: (1) the final image tying it all together and what the whole movie is about; (2) W hear the one thing that the protagonist wouldn’t say or swore she wouldn’t say.
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1. Brainstorm ways to do each of the following with your story. And if you have to change your entire third act to do each of them, do it. Why? Because it might just give you the amazing ending you hope for.
[I] Directly answer the main question the entire movie is about. Magic of the season as embodied by Frosty the snowman
[II] Finally we hear the one thing that the character wouldn’t say in the movie. Brooklyn says, “Love finds a way” to herself as she is being proposed to.
[III] Solve the puzzle. Frosty, the magic of the season, Christmas miracle, love finds a way.
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2. Select the best final line/image and write the final scene.
INT. CABIN – CHRISTMAS MORNING
CHRISTMAS MUSIC playing, CRACKLING of cedar logs in the fireplace. On the mantle, Santa’s mug and cookie plate, minus the cookies and fudge. Under the tree, dozens of presents sit in wait.
We TRACK past the scene taking place and move toward a self-portrait of Joshua hanging on the far wall, next to Brooklyn’s recent painting of the meadow we just left.
HOLD ON Joshua’s expression… Did he just smile?
Brooklyn, in slippers and a house robe. Tarek and his boys on the couch, in their pajamas. Bed head, the lot of them. Everyone with a cup of hot cocoa.
TYLER (points to mantle) “See Brandon, told you Santa would come.
Brooklyn walks over and retrieves the mug and cookie plate.
BROOKLYN (holds plate up) “You’re right. I think he has as big a sweet tooth as you do.
SERIES OF SHOTS
A) Tyler tearing into a present.
B) Tarek snapping off photos.
C) Brandon rips off the wrapping, pulls a Swiss Army knife.
D) Brooklyn, more careful and restrained, opens her present holds up a tee-shirt, it reads: Monopoly Queen.
E) Tarek shakes his present, holds it up to his ear. Inside, a pair of slippers. Laughing, he tries them on.
BACK TO SCENE.
Tarek points to a present propped against the mantle.
TAREK “Brandon, give that one to Brooklyn.
Brandon picks it up carefully knowing what’s inside having helped his dad wrap it. He hands it to Brooklyn who thanks him with her eyes. Tyler, scrunched up against her: wanting to see, wanting to help. They UNWRAP the gift together.
CLOSE ON FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH of Brooklyn with her first Christmas tree.
BROOKLYN (choked up) “Thank-you, guys.
She gives Tyler and Brandon a HUG, Tarek a KISS, then places it on the fireplace mantle.
TAREK gives Brandon a “thumbs-up,” turns to Tyler with a finger pressed to his lips, shushing him. It is clear he is a man who shares decisions with his family, a father who has spoken to his sons regarding what’s about to transpire.
Brandon grabs the camera and steps back.
With her back to them, Brooklyn takes a moment to regain her composure.
Tarek reaches into his camera bag and pulls out a small, black-felt box — struggles to get down on one knee — holds it out in front of himself as Brooklyn turns around.
TAREK “Brooklyn, since you came into my life, I’ve been blessed. I love you and want to spend my life with you, if you’ll have me?
Brooklyn: her hand covering her mouth, says at a whisper:
BROOKLYN “Love finds a way.
She takes a faltering half-step, then another, unaware Brandon is capturing it on film.
CAMERA LENS – POV
Brooklyn’s joyful smile; her eyes aglow… curtain of hair engulfing Tarek, still down on one knee, as she smothers him in a hug.
CLOSE ON Tarek sliding the diamond ring on her finger.
HOLD ON their KISS…
ROLL END-OF-FILM CREDITS
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