Day 8 Assignments

[CLAIRE RILEY]

Claire’s Intriguing Moments!

MY VISION:

I have a fabulous career as a screenwriter working in both TV and film, and I have tremendous creative, financial, and personal success. I specialize in female driven projects, and I am the go-to-girl for writing lesbian stories.

WHAT I LEARNED: I had quite a bit of intrigue in these scripts already.

HORROR SCRIPT

ACT 1

MYSTERY: Why did a female patient kill her doctor in 1954?

MYSTERY: What happened to cause a murder/suicide in 1980?

INTRIGUE: What is it that Maeve senses and causes her to faint?

SECRET: What is Maeve hiding?

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Maeve is a psychic.

INTRIGUE: What is the dark energy that Maeve sense?

COVERT AGENDA: What is up with Audrey? She seems to be against Maeve.

MYSTERY: Why did Zora kill her wife?

ACT 2:

CONSPIRACY: Sybil and Audrey seem teamed up against Maeve.

SECRET: Maeve was possessed as a child.

INTRIGUE: Something is going on here. Is the murder/suicide in 1980 linked to Zora killing her wife?

MYSTERY: Why did Regina kill her wife, Libby?

ACT 3:

INTRIGUE: Maeve believes the women were possessed and caused to kill their spouses. She thinks that’s what happened in 1980.

COVERT AGENDA: Audrey says there is something wrong with Maeve. She’s delusional. Sybil agrees and says Maeve wants attention. Why are they ganging up against Maeve?

COVERT AGENDA REVEALED: Audrey and Sybil are having an affair.

INTRIGUE: Audrey kills Alison. What is going on here?

MYSTERY REVEALED: The psychiatrist is an evil doctor who tortures gay people in the name of treatment.

INTRIGUE REVEALED: The ghost of the evil psychiatrist has been possessing the women and forcing them to kill their own wives. It’s double horror for the women and double pleasure for the evil doctor.

INTRIGUE: Sybil is possessed. Will she kill Maeve?

ACT 4:

INTRIGUE: Maeve is possessed. Will she kill Sybil? Will Sybil kill her?

INTRIGUE: What will the tell the authorities? How will they explain the murders of three women?

THRILLER SCRIPT

ACT 1:

SECRET: Eve is hiding something about her family and/or her past.

INTRIGUE: Someone is watching them. Who? Why?

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Eve is hiding that she is a CIA agent.

INTRIGUE: Someone is watching Eve in her home from the street. Shoots a dart gun at her through the window. Who is doing this and why?

MYSTERY: Eve wakes, feel groggy and realizes she slept a long time. What happened?

MYSTERY: Eve notices texts she does not remember sending. What happened last night?

CONSPIRACY: Debbie has been kidnapped.

ACT 2:

CONSPIRACY: Patty, Debbie’s widowed mother, cries on TV, begging the kidnappers to release her daughter. She is the kidnapper.

MYSTERY: Debbie is in a small room. Where is she, who is holding her and why?

SECRET: Eve is hiding something that happened in the past. What happened?

COVERT AGENDA: Eve wants to search Debbie’s apartment herself but FBI Agent Marra won’t allow it. She disguises herself as an FBI agent and goes in and searches.

MYSTERY: She can’t find the pictures of Debbie and herself that were in Debbie’s apartment. Who took the pictures and why?

INTRIGUE: Debbie’s ex says he was protecting Debbie from Eve. Protecting?

COVERT AGENDA: Eve plans on investigating Debbie’s disappearance herself. She steals some files from the FBI to do so.

CONSPIRACY: Patty tells FBI that Debbie and Eve were not lovers. Eve was stalking Debbie. She was dating a man.

MYSTERY: Debbie is forced to watch heterosexual porn and throws up. Who is holding her and why are they showing her porn?

INTRIGUE/CONSPIRACY: Eve says she can prove she and Debbie were lovers and looks through her phone but can’t find any pictures with her and Debbie. She does not understand what is happening.

CONSPIRACY: Wilson shows Eve text messages that Eve sent to Debbie last night. Some of these texts make it appear that Eve was stalking Debbie. Eve recognizes some texts but says she did not send others.

PJ: She says she has a witness, a co-worker. Wilson says she would lie for you. A waitress at a diner she and Debbie frequent.

CONSPIRACY: The FBI take Eve to the waitress from previous evening. Waitress says she never saw Debbie and Eve together, but in the past, they were at the diner at the same time at separate tables. Eve says someone is framing her. Who and why?

Midpoint:

CONSPIRACY: FBI arrest Eve for kidnapping Debbie. Who is framing her and why?

ACT 3:

INTRIGUE: A man watches a TV report about Eve’s arrest. Who is he?

Mystery: Debbie is shocked while being shown lesbian porn movies. Who is holding her and why are they showing her lesbian porn and shocking her?

CONSPIRACY: FBI show Eve that her GPS indicates the previous night she drove to Debbie’s home and then to isolated woods. Who is framing her?

COVER UP: Eve freaks out because they think she killed Debbie and are no longer looking for her.

INTRIGUE: Eve’s father comes to the FBI office. He is a famous psychiatrist who promotes using conversion therapy to “cure” queer people. He believes she has mental and emotional problems. Why has he come? Is he going to help Eve or help the FBI convict her?

MYSTERY: Debbie is shocked while being shown pictures of herself kissing Eve. The voltage increases and Debbie screams. Who has her and why are they torturing her?

INTRIGUE: Roger says there is a group that kidnaps queer people and puts them through forced conversion therapy. Do these people have Debbie?

MYSTERY: TJ: Debbie is forced to watch porn again. This time is switches from heterosexual to lesbian. During heterosexual porn she is given soothing music and messages. During lesbian porn she is shocked. Who has her and why are they torturing her?

COVER UP: Agent Marra won’t investigate the blood test or the pictures. Why? Is it simply his prejudice or is he part of the conspiracy?

CONSPIRACY: is Patty part of the conspiracy to kidnap Debbie?

ACT 4

COVERT AGENDA: Wilson wants agents to follow her, but not apprehend her. HE hopes she will lead them to Debbie.

CONSPIRACY: Wilson confronts Marra about the results of the blood test. Marra argues that Eve could still have kidnapped Debbie.

INTRIGUE: Will Eve get away and rescue Debbie or will she be captured?

CONSPIRACY: Revealed that Marra held even more information from Wilson. Wilson suspects that he may be involved somehow.

CONSPIRACY: Agent Marra is part of the kidnapping conspiracy. Who are the others?

CONSPIRACY: Patty is part of the kidnapping conspiracy.

[CJ Knapp]

CJ’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.

WIL: This was a fascinating process – I had to really distill the one sentence or two that describes the entire Act and it was really liberating to do so!

Title: MEMORY HUNTERS

Concept:

In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.

ASSIGNMENT

Give us a one sentence explanation of the intriguing moments in each Act of your project.

ACT 1

Mya suffers from a childhood trauma and refuses to deal with it.

Intrigue – why won’t Mya deal with her headaches / brain tumor<div>

Secret – Mya is searching the records of previous memory incursions

Covert agenda – Mya took the job to find a way to hide/run from her memories

Hidden identity – Catherine is using the company to fund her bid for the Senate

Conspiracy – Catherine makes deals with the criminals to hide their secrets

Scheme – Catherine and Terry scheme to

Superior position –

Cover up – Terry helps Catherine cover up their schemeMystery – What was Mya’s childhood trauma?

ACT 2

Mya has discovered unauthorized access to the system and is framed for the unauthorized access.

Intrigue – What is Mya looking for in the archives of the memory hunters?</div><div>

Secret – Mya discovers anomalies in the system access into high profile memory retrieval cases (political, embezzlers, and military subjects)

Covert agenda – Catherine is using the information to further her political agenda

Hidden identity – Terry is feeding information to Mya and working with Catherine

Conspiracy – Terry and Catherine plan to frame Mya for their crimes

Scheme –

Superior position –

Cover up – Mya is put into the mind of a psychopath

Mystery – How did she end up there and why?

ACT 3

Mya discovers she’s in the mind of a psychopath instead of the embezzler and must fight her way out – only to be fired

Intrigue – How did Mya end up in the wrong mind?</div><div>

Secret – Freddie is expecting Mya!

Covert agenda – What are they trying to cover up?

Hidden identity – Who is the psychopath? It’s the same psychopath to kidnapped Mya when she was 8!

Conspiracy – Terry and Catherine don’t expect Mya to survive Freddie’s mind

Scheme – Mya and Jason break into the facility to get the evidence they need

Superior position – We know the “key” that Terry makes to help Mya isn’t meant to help her but help Freddy escape!

Cover up – Catherine fires Mya for her “mistake” on going into the wrong mind

Mystery – How did she end up in the wrong mind?

ACT 4

Intrigue – Mya accuses Frank Yorgen as the culprit behind it all – she’s wrong!</div>

Secret – Mya remembers something from her own memory and the same person in Freddie’s mind

Covert agenda – Catherine uses the press as a means to announce her bid as Senator

Hidden identity – Catherine plays the innocent and then as Mya accuses Frank uses it against Mya to fire her.

Conspiracy – Mya and Jason get the information they need to expose Catherine

Scheme – Mya plans her own revenge on Terry and CatherineSuperior position –

Cover up –

Mystery – Mya uncovers the abuse of an elderly woman from the first act and confronts the son as the abuser.

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Intriguing Moments

My vision: I am an “A” list writer who is known for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: The last two lessons have really helped me to dig deeper into my story and characters and find the intrigue that will keep the audience riveted to the movie.

OPENING / MARCH INCITING INCIDENT:
A black-gloved, bionic hand taps a laptop keyboard key. A PBS interview with Sarah Cole, a young woman with amnesia, appears on the screen. Sarah, we learn has a reputation as an expert pottery fixer. We also learn she has no memory of her childhood due to a traumatic accident when she was six years old. The hand WHINES as black-gloved fingers tap keys, manipulate the video, zoom in on Sarah’s face as she brushes back the hair at her temple to display an old, jagged scar. FREEZE FRAME.

Intrigue: Who is the black-gloved person?
Mystery: What does this PBS replay have to do with the story?

ACT 1 SARAH’S PRESENT WORLD: A small shop in NYC. We see the world of twenty-six-year-old pottery restoration expert, SARAH COLE. Her boss praises her for her great work. Sarah is meek, seems numb.

Intrigue: Who is Sarah and why should we care about her?

SARAH ACTION 1 and 2: She demonstrates her gift as she lays out small, broken pieces of pottery in their order of being put back together. It’s quick and easy for her. She arranges pieces quickly, does the final arrangement in her head. She finishes up one job and starts on another.

Intrigue and Mystery: Why is she working so hard? Why is she being so hard on herself?

DEEPER LAYER: Sarah makes a comment to a co-worker about idleness is the Devil’s playground. She has to keep busy, makes a motion to wave the memories away, “so I don’t remember.” When asked what, “Just stuff.” This is why she must keep her mind focused on her work.

Mystery: What is Sarah trying to avoid?

SARAH ACTION 3: After she leaves work, she makes sure no one notices as she enters her favorite liquor store. Goes home and drinks vodka to dull pain of the flashes of childhood memories that haunt her.

SARAH’S INCITING INCIDENT:
At work, Sarah receives an ancient Anasazi Indian pot to repair. The zig zag pattern on the pot triggers powerful, incapacitating emotions –

Hidden Identity: Who is Sarah in reality? What is her problem?

YOUNG SARAH ACTION 1 (flashback in B&W) A terrified, 6-year-old little girl runs from a bearded, bear of a man in the desert at night near an ancient Anasazi cliff dwelling. The girl wears a small pot shard with a unique zig zag design hangs on her necklace. The man catches the girl – throws her off a cliff.

Intrigue: Who is this young girl? What part does she play in the story?

SARAH ACTION 4: Older Sarah is in shock, the pot slips from her hands. It shatters. She’s mortified.

Mystery: Why is Sarah affected so deeply by an ancient Southwest Indian pot?

DEEPER LAYER: Sarah brushes back her hair, has a big, jagged scar on her temple. The small shard that hangs on Sarah’s necklace has the same zig zag pattern as the pattern that is on the pot – and the same pattern as the shard necklace that was worn by the little girl in the flashback.

Superior position: The young girl in the flashback is Sarah at a younger age.
REVEAL: The little girl in the flashback and older Sarah are the same person.

SARAH ACTION 4.5: Sarah researches the pot’s owner, JAMES MARCH, learns he is a self-help author and hypnotist. She calls him, admits she broke his pot, tells him she can fix it in a week. Asks where it is from.

Intrigue: March forgives Sarah about the pot. Says it was given to him by an old friend who passed away and it means a lot to him, supposedly is from someplace on the Navajo reservation.

Covert agenda: March offers to meet Sarah for dinner in a one week and pick up his pot.

Dilemma: Sarah works on the pot/has problems with it/memories haunt her day and night, drinks to excess in order to forget, shows up late at work, is told by her boss that March requested her services based on the great “fixer” story about her in the PBS Interview.

Dilemma: Sarah tells her boss she “needs time” to fix his pot, is told when she finishes pot to take as much time as she needs. Her boss doesn’t want her back until she gets herself sober. She buys more booze, cries painful tears as she drinks to get drunk.

Intrigue: Johnny drives in his police car on the Navajo rez, sees the Shaman on a mesa, a dust devil swirls near him. Johnny mutters, “Talking with the spirits again.” Johnny drives to Navajo Police station.

Conspiracy: The Shaman conspires with police chief, Frank, (Johnny’s father) to get Johnny laid off so that Johnny is forced to get involved in a cause bigger than himself – to become the new shaman.

Cover up: Frank tells Johnny that he must cut the hours for the newest cop – Johnny.

Dilemma: Johnny pushes back, complains, mentions he solved a tough case last week, and wants to work on the “Sarah Cole” cold case from twenty years ago. It’s the only case his father, Frank, never solved. Says some of the facts don’t add up, like who dropped the girl off at the Navajo hospital?

Conflict. Frank tells Johnny it’s old news. Forget it.

Superior Position: Johnny accuses Frank of hiding something. Why? Johnny gets insubordinate and…

FRANK ACTION 2: Frank suspends him without pay for six months. How am I gonna pay my car payment?

A cop buddy of Johnny’s drops him at Shaman’s hogan. Shaman wonders where Johnny’s new truck is.

Intrigue and Covert Agenda: Since Johnny has no job, Shaman presses Johnny to become next Shaman. “You are a Benally and it means…” Johnny cuts him off, “Grandson. I know.” Shaman, “It is your DUTY to be next Shaman.” Johnny, “Who decided that?” The Shaman just stares.

JOHNNY ACTION 3: Johnny refuses the call; says he’s going to solve an old cold case and then his father will have to bring him back onto the force. He tells Shaman the real reason he came out: to borrow Shaman’s rusty, old pickup. His new truck was repossessed, and he needs transportation.

Mystery: Sarah and March meet for dinner at his hotel with new pot. March reveals that he is a self-help author and hypnotist. She knows. They talk, he suspects something is bothering her. She admits she can’t remember much of anything before the age of six – pulls back her hair to reveal the scar on her temple. March covers his shock, queries her about any treatment she’s had. “Everything,” she replies, and ticks off the items. “Ah,” he replies and…

Intrigue: March offers to walk her home.

On the sidewalk, a mugger named Tomas wears a ski mask, tries to mug Sarah and March.

MARCH ACTION 3: March throws a right hook and breaks Tomas’ jaw with his bionic hand. Sarah is shocked but at the same time, relieved and grateful that March saved her. Tomas runs off. March acts shaken and reluctantly admits he’s glad he has the bionic arm. It saved both their lives.

Covert Agenda: March plays down his heroism but at the same time, consoles Sarah at her place, he’s worried about her. He senses there’s a lot going on inside her. She denies it. He says, “I have found that sometimes we need to go to school with our past selves so we can learn what makes us tick today.”

He leaves. Sarah pours a drink – her glass shakes badly, and she has a flashback of her six-year-old self, arguing with her father, Ben, about him wanting her to start school. Ben is aware that Sarah just wants to always be with him. He breaks a shard in half and gives her half (her current necklace) and he jams the other half in the pocket of his jeans. The memory is slash cut as…

SARAH ACTION 5: Sarah jams on her ear buds, guzzles her drink, tells the memories to leave her alone.

Covert Agenda: March calls next day to check in on Sarah. She is reading one of his books that was delivered the night before, “The Soul Reclaimer”. She is intrigued that he has used hypnosis to help people remember their past lives. March says he feels blessed that he can help people “like her” who grew weary of constant emotional pain. “Sometimes,” he says, “I find it helps to get inside and kick the skull around a bit to free up the memories so we can deal with them.”

Intrigue: Sarah has an instant flashback of kicking a human skull like a soccer ball in the desert. Another instant flashback of young Sarah crawling into a cave, lighting a cigarette lighter so she can see. Her face reveals awe. Sarah snaps back to reality, sweating, scared.

Covert Agenda: March asks if everything is all right. She says, “There was a cave. I’m afraid of it.” He replies, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. Wasn’t my quote but I wish it was. Joseph Campbell said it.”

Mystery: Sarah repeats, “The cave I fear…oh, shit.” She wants to, needs to find out but she’s so afraid. She talks of all the people who have tried to help her, diagnose her. She doesn’t think she can be hypnotized …” March says anyone who WANTS to be hypnotized CAN be. Sarah picks up her drink glass, looks at his book. He senses she’s trying to make a decision. “You put my pot back together. I feel you can put yourself back together also.” Sarah pulls the book to her bosom, tears come. “Do you think you can help me?” He looks happy. He thinks a moment, inspects his repaired pot, says he’s not sure. “Please?” He says to show his gratitude for the fixed pot, looks at his schedule book (it’s empty), he’d be happy to fit her in tomorrow at ten AM for what he calls a “trial session”. If it goes well, he’d be happy to refer her to another professional who can help lead her out of the wilderness. Sarah sees a flashback of remote, desolate desert. She shuts her eyes and it goes away. She nods, quietly says thank you.

Covert Agenda: In his office, March hypnotizes Sarah. She recalls her father was an archeologist and has some vague memories about armor and weapons from Spanish Conquistadors hidden in a small cave.

Hidden Identity: March has led her throughout the session and has, “suggested” what Sarah has remembered. He is setting her up so he can control her.

Dilemma: Encouraged and comfortable with March, Sarah hesitantly wonders if March could help her remember more details about her nightmares and the treasure cave in her childhood. March says he is too busy to take her on as a new patient. He’s about to start to write his next book and…

Dilemma: Sarah is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t succeed: She begs.

Mystery and Intrigue: Sarah hysterically begs and pleads for March to treat her. For the first time in her life, she feels that someone can help her.

Secret and Covert Agenda: March takes Sarah on as a client if she agrees to do whatever he says is necessary for her to remember.

Intrigue: Johnny takes a job at the riding stables, gets ribbed for it by stable hands, there was an opening because one of the workers got injured. Johnny tells the guys he knows they are holding drugs. This shuts them up. He asks stable manager, Eddie, about old Sarah Cole case. Eddie lets slip it had to do with grave robbers and a rumor of some old treasure cave. Eddie realizes he’s said too much.

Covert Action: March uses hypnosis to regress Sarah to meet YOUNG SARAH, her 6-year-old self to learn about her childhood and the whatever the trauma was that she experienced. We meet Ben and Bear during the session. Young Sarah kicks a skull in the desert.

Intrigue and Mystery: Sarah proves to be tough to handle, both for March and for Sarah. It’s a scary session for young Sarah, March and older Sarah. Older Sarah wants to bail but March reminds her that she must allow him to control both the hypnosis and questions of her younger self.

Dilemma: Sarah relents, agrees to let March steer the boat.

Secret: After another session, when Sarah comes out of it, March informs her that she revealed to him under hypnosis that her father was a cruel man, a grave robber who dug up Indian graves and sold his booty to collectors. Sarah is devastated, again wants to stop the sessions. March convinces her to continue, assures her that things will get better.

Covert Action: March has now literally taken control of Sarah’s memory.

Intrigue: March asks Sarah (under hypnosis) if she remembers anyone with her father in the desert? What did he look like, sound like? He is covering his tracks, so she doesn’t suspect his real identity.

Mystery: Sarah wakes from another session and “remembers” she disobeyed her father and somehow it led to his death. She feels it can’t be true. But March’s interpretation of the event heightens Sarah’s guilt and her feeling that she is responsible for her father’s death. Sarah’s younger self seems to also confirm this. Sarah is devastated. It’s her low point. She runs from March’s office.

Cover up: March’s psychopathy and greed causes him to become careless and move too fast. He inadvertently mixes his memories in with Sarah’s memories during a hypnosis session. But he covers his mistakes – or does he? He has left “shards”, clues for Sarah to find.

Superior Position: Sarah suspects something isn’t Kosher with March’s treatment and her memories.

Conspiracy: Armed with info that he knows the treasure cave exists, Johnny queries his grandfather, the Shaman, on the story about Sarah Cole. Shaman tells him to go talk to his father, Frank. Johnny is angry and says he has nothing to say to his father.

Coverup: The Shaman demands that Frank come clean with Johnny about what Frank knows regarding the history of Sarah and March.

Hidden Identity: Frank goes ballistic, yells at Shaman/his father and claims to have done the right thing 20 years ago, says those two grave robbers were not Diné and they got what they deserved. And the other one? The young girl: Frank doesn’t answer, tells the shaman to take care of the spirit world and Frank will take care of the police work. The Shaman SHAMES FRANK.

Hidden Identity: Frank is proud of Johnny and steering his son to investigate the Sarah Cole story but at the same time, he is providing obstacles for Johnny, which will force him to dig deep and prove himself as a cop also. Frank is going against his own father and his policeman oath to help Johnny.

Mystery: FLASHBACK: Shaman and Frank transport little Sarah to the hospital in Shaman’s old pickup.

Superior Position: Sarah confides to a bartender, wonders if March could be wrong about her father. She even wonders if March is somehow manipulating her memories and her interaction with young Sarah although she can’t imagine why he would do so. He seems like such a good guy.

Dilemma: Hung over the toilet, Sarah remembers her father’s words from a previous session when he said, “Listen to everyone but trust only in yourself.” She takes a hand full of pills, attempts to kill herself.

Coverup: March breaks into Sarah’s apartment with the help of the manager, is frantic but it is for the wrong reasons. If Sarah dies, he loses any chance of finding the cave. He calls 911.

Intrigue: In the ER, Sarah has a flashback about being dropped off at the hospital by the Shaman 20 years ago. She sees March standing over her in real time. She sees the Shaman standing over her in black and white. Another face enters the picture in black and white. It is Frank. He’s with the Shaman.

Intrigue and Superior Position: Tomas, Sarah’s “mugger”, shows up and wants more money from March to keep quiet about March using Sarah for his “next book”. March gives him $10,000 cash to keep his mouth shut. Tells him to make sure he’s there at the stable to guide them into the desert.

Scheme: Buoyed by her experience in the ER, at her next hypnosis session, Sarah surreptitiously asks questions of young Sarah while March asks questions of young Sarah. Oder Sarah uses young Sarah to try and get into March’s head, learn what he knows and if in fact he is manipulating her. March makes several more mistakes here using his memories instead of Sarah’s. We as the audience, are rewinding what we’ve learned thus far and we suspect that something is about to happen.

Covert Agenda: Disillusioned and unsure what to do with the rest of his life, Johnny reluctantly spends time with his grandfather and refreshes his native and shamanistic lore. The Shaman helps Johnny explore his spiritual roots and not-too-subtly drops suggestions to make Johnny commit to the path as future shaman. Johnny pushes back and asks about a treasure cave and the Shaman reluctantly reveals it is a real place and that a spiritual tragedy occurred there. Frank’s name is mentioned by the Shaman.

Coverup: Johnny checks out the hospital, finds the nurse who cared for Sarah 20 years ago. She remembers the case because it caused a rift between his father and grandfather. She’s tight lipped about who dropped off Sarah at the hospital. He begs, says she’s got to give him something to go on. She stares at him, “Talk to Chindi.” He’s confused, “Dust devils?” She continues, “Or try your father.”

Dilemma: Johnny can’t stop the cop in him and visits Frank, asks again about the girl who got dropped off at the hospital 20 years ago and is told to leave the story alone and reminded he’s been suspended. He’s angry, “I want to solve the case and can’t because I’m shoveling horse shit for the next six months!” “Leave the Cole case alone or that’s what you’ll be doing the rest of your life!”

Scheme: Before her next session, Sarah questions March about his true motives. March finally comes “clean”; admits he plans to write his next book about her. She’s pissed off and walks out of his office.

Scheme: March looks sad and we think it’s because he really cares about Sarah’s welfare.

Intrigue and Superior Position: Johnny meets Tomas at the stable. Tomas still has a broken jaw. He’s come into money, quit his job and is picking up his stuff. Always the cop, Johnny asks where he got the money from, yanks a baggie of coke from Tomas’ shirt pocket. Tomas begs Johnny not to turn him in, says that a guy paid him just to make him look good in front of a woman. A guy named March and some woman named Cole are supposed to go out on a weekend ride to look for something. Tomas was supposed to guide them but is finished working for March. Johnny is astounded: Is this THE Sarah Cole?

Mystery: He shows at Sarah’s apartment, convinces her the only way for her to find peace is for them to revisit “the scene of the crime”, a remote area on the Navajo reservation. Sarah refuses. He uses a post-hypnotic suggestion to make her remember the song she sang as a child with her father.

Scheme: Sarah reluctantly agrees to go into the desert with March. She isn’t sure what to believe but something has changed in her and she is now passionate about learning the truth. (See Sarah later realizing the song lyrics are incorrect.)

Superior Position: March is livid when Tomas tells him another guide will be taking him into the desert, Johnny. Tomas tells him it’s his own fault, “You shouldn’t have broken my jaw, asshole!”

Mystery: The Shaman tells Johnny to expect chindi to be with him in the desert. Johnny scoffs, kind of. Says to keep his medicine bag close. Johnny doesn’t want to believe grandfather, but we know he does.

Conspiracy: Johnny leads Sarah and March deep into inhospitable desert to a search for the cave. He suspects March is not who he claims and tells Sarah about it. Sarah doesn’t believe him and gets angry.

Mystery: Sarah remembers the song lyrics March sang to her are different than what she remembers. She sings the lyrics to Johnny as they ride.

JOHNNY ACTION 7: RED HERRING – Johnny gives her reasons why March just might be who he says he is.

Secret: March orders Johnny to stay away from Sarah. Johnny holds his tongue but is pissed.

JOHNNY ACTION 8: He gets bitten by a scorpion that “found” its way into his bedroll at night. He goes off my himself. From his own bedroll, March notices but does nothing. Johnny uses native remedies to cure himself. Johnny now realizes his survival will be due to his reawakened shamanistic knowledge.

Mystery: While meditating early morning, Johnny sweats profusely, still fighting off the scorpion bite. He’s nearly back to healthy. He suddenly hears a buzz. Turns out it is an electric razor. March is shaving his head and heavy 5:00 beard. March is surprised to see Johnny, stammers, apologizes for being rough on him about Sarah, asks Johnny to keep his secret. Now March looks worried.

Scheme: Sarah, March, and Johnny endure harsh desert conditions, climb up perilous cliffs.

Covert Agenda: Sarah rediscovers the desert cave in her childhood memory.

March tells Sarah and Johnny to open the cave entrance. His fake arm is an albatross.

Mystery: Johnny puts the pieces together: Tomas, Sarah’s memory of the cave, inconsistencies of March, Frank’s reluctance to discuss the little girl in the hospital cold case, his grandfather/shaman and hints the man made and Johnny’s own questions and guesswork about Sarah and March. Johnny realizes the only man who could have sealed the cave with Sarah’s father in it must have been his own father who sealed the cave, took little Sarah to the hospital and dropped her off with no explanation. He deduces that March must have somehow escaped the cave and eluded Frank in the desert to become the current March; a self-help author and celebrity hypnotist.

DEEPER LAYERS: Sarah is helping Johnny realize his true calling and he is helping her to heal.

Intrigue: Sarah realizes March has used her all along – and that March murdered her father.

Covert Action: Trapped, March pulls a small pistol from his boot. He confesses about having to cut off his own arm, but he wasn’t hunting. It was to escape the cave. He wandered in the desert for days. Like Sarah, he couldn’t remember where the cave was. He needed her memories to lead him back. His wild eyes reveal his insanity as he surveys the treasure trove of Conquistador armor and strongboxes.

SHAMAN’S RESOLUTION: The Shaman sits on the mesa, chants. A dust devil appears. At the same time, a dust devil appears at the mouth of the cave and Sarah recognizes the spirit of her father. March is distracted for a moment which gives Johnny a chance to charge March.

JOHNNY’S RESOLUTION: He charges March to protect Sarah and gets shot by March. A glancing headwound. He will survive to realize his future is as a cop AND as the shaman.

SARAH’S RESOLUTION: Sarah has put the pieces of herself back together. She grabs a Conquistador shield, uses it to deflect March’s bullets, get close and fights him to the death. She will need time but now can allow herself to love and be loved and enjoy life as a complete person.

MARCH’S RESOLUTION: March fights with Sarah and loses. He slips over the edge of the cliff, desperately hangs on with his bionic arm – he begs for his life, plays with Sarah’s mind. His fake arm pops loose and he falls to his death from the same cliff he threw Sarah from twenty years before.

Mystery: Epilogue – Sarah leaves her father’s half of the shard for Johnny to find in his hospital bed. We are led to believe that Johnny and Sarah will hook up in the future – but we’re not sure.

Mystery: Closing scene: March’s spirit (chindi/dust devil) tries to put back together his arm and hand bones that were left on the cliff that he fell from. His chindi will wander forever and never find peace.

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown’s Intriguing Moments.

“My scripts are the cream that rise to the top. I am an A-list screenwriter.”

What I learned: Thinking about Intrigue, I can amp up the emotional beats and stakes.

THE TASTE OF LONG LOST

Star crossed lovers reunite decades later in a small Montana town with big hearted secrets.

ACT ONE:

Scheme: Lillian wants to marry Joe to get out of war torn Normandy and have the adventurous American life.

Mystery: When Lillian arrives on the boat in America, why is Joe not there to get her?

Mystery: Alley’s tells CJ of her long-lost grandmother, Lillian. How she just disappeared one day. Where did she go?

Superior position: Alley overhears CJ and Charlie slamming one of the singers at open mic. Alley thinks they are talking about her. We know they were talking about the woman who went on before Alley.

Superior position: Alley confronts and leaves CJ on the spot. CJ has no idea why. He accuses Alley of having another lover. Alley is so hurt; she lets him think he is right. But we know there’s no one else.

ACT TWO:

Covert Agenda: Deep woods Nowhere, Mississippi is not Lillian’s idea of her American adventure. Lillian packs her bags to bolt.

Secret: The only reason Lillian stays is because she’s pregnant.

Secret: CJ spots Alley checking into Lillian’s Resort Motel but does not reveal himself.

Superior position: Seeing Alley triggers CJ to relive the memories of the breakup and the awful truck accident that followed. We see it, but Alley has no idea what happened to him after the breakup.

Mystery: Alley tastes the cookies that only she and Lillian know how to make. How are these cookies in Soaking Springs Montana?

Hidden Identity: The Lillian who founded Lillian’s Resort Motel is Alley’s long-lost grandmother.

ACT THREE:

Cover up: Lillian tells young granddaughter Alley fairytale-like stories about her and Joe while teaching her how to make the cookies to cover up the fact she did not live her American Adventure.

Secret / Covert Agenda: Joe has a heart attack and dies. Lillian can’t wait to make a run for it.

Mystery: Lillian leaves a note and the postcards for Alley but doesn’t even say goodbye.

Hidden Identity: Lillian lands in Soaking Springs Montana. She buys a run-down motel with the money from Joe’s life insurance and makes up a new life for herself.

Cover up: Once revealed, CJ tells Alley he got in an accident long ago, but does not tell her it was because of their breakup.

Intrigue: Even in conflict, they feel the old flame to spite themselves.

Scheme: CJ dives into the river to search for the necklace. It has been waiting, caught on a river wash tree for all these years.

Secret: CJ knows that Lillian is in a rest home in Missoula (only miles from Alley all these years)

Conspiracy: When Lillian sold the Motel and checked into the Rest home, she swore CJ to secrecy about where she is.

ACT FOUR:

Covert Agenda: CJ proposes that Alley and he buy Lillian’s Resort Motel together.

[Jack Purdie]

Jack P’s intriguing moments

VISION: I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WRITE A SUCCESSFUL SCRIPT THAT IS PRODUCED AND LEADS TO MULTIPLE MOVIES.

WHAT I LEARNED: By analyzing the dramatic beats I can create more depth and interest in the story by adding intrigue.

ACT ONE

Secret/cover up: Jay is married, but lies to Lina about it.

Hidden identity: Lina is a lesbian, but has sex with Jay and doesn’t mention it.

Mystery: Why is Lina traumatized (Space Girl escape) at different times throughout the script.

Intrigue: Jay is struck by lightning and encounters Lina and others during an NDE.

ACT TWO

Superior position: The audience knows Jay is married, but Lina doesn’t know; they know Lina is a lesbian, but Jay doesn’t know.

Intrigue/cover up: Lina pretends Cici is her sister, but she is really her daughter.

Intrigue: We find out Jay’s wife has left him for another woman; we find out that Lina is a lesbian but has recently broken up with her long-time girlfriend.

ACT THREE

Mystery/intrigue: Lina is verbally abused by her father and it triggers the RAPE scene where she is impregnated by an older man and has a baby (Cici), then turns it over to her parents to raise.

Intrigue: Jay and Lina fight and break up again. Jay apologizes to Lina, she lets him know she is in love with Marita.

ACT FOUR

Secret: Jay tells Lina he understands that he was wrong, and understands why she would return to Marita. He professes his intent to be “just friends” but secretly is planning to get back together with Lina.

Scheme: Jay has settled his affairs in the US and comes to CAC with $$$. He secretly buys a compound where Lina’s family can live and starts a business where they can prosper. He reveals this at the family gathering.

Intrigue: Lina brings Marita to the family gathering and Jay meets Marita. They hit it off and Marita suggests they all move in together.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Intriguing Moments

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how using intriguing moments engages the audience on a deep level. Something is going on under the surface and the audience wants to solve the mystery. Because of schemes, conspiracies, secrets, and hidden agendas, the lead characters and the audience will be shocked and surprised when the truth is finally revealed.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Intriguing Moments

Act 1:

Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme: Tom and Susan fight about his penny-pinching ways. Susan is hiding her double-life, her affair with Ivan, a Russian, and the fact the two of them have set up Tom.

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Mystery: Tom and his family are kidnapped, but who kidnapped them and why? The Russian mob is behind it.

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: Tom is trapped in an underwater grave. Why and will he survive? Susan and Ivan have set him up, hiding this fact from everybody, including Ivan’s brother, Dmitriy, the mob boss. Dmitriy conspired and schemed to kidnap Tom and his family. Dmitriy gives Tom 60 minutes to confess to stealing billions from him or Tom and his family will die.

Act 2:

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: All of these are in play under the surface while Tom must figure out why he is trapped, prove his innocence, and find a way to escape in time to save his family.

Act 3:

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: All of these are still in play under the surface while Tom’s underwater grave fills with water! Will he survive, how?

Act 4:

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: The truth comes out. Tom is shocked to find out he was setup by his wife and her lover, Ivan. Dmitriy is shocked his brother betrayed and stole from him. The ultimate fight begins. Who will win?

[Rebecca Sukle]

Rebecca’s intriguing moments

Vision: My success in this program will lead me to be the go-to writer for producers looking for incredible scripts for successful movies enjoyed by a vast viewing audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that there should be two or more intriguing moments in each act. If you don’t have these than you can create them.

ACT 1

Mystery: 1917 battlefield in France, American sniper picks off sixteen German soldiers, from rear to front of line, but leaves the seventeenth man, the officer remain alive.

Cover Up: When pressed if he will go on strike with the other miners, Ragman, a mine mechanic, remains undecided because conflict triggers his excessive anger.

Hidden Identity: Commander Bucholtz arrives in Ragman’s town with an army of private security gurardsn and violently dominates the community.

Covert Agenda: Bucholtz inquires about Ragman, his wife, and family.

Intrigue: Bucholtz follows Ragman’s wife from the bus stop to her father’s house. He bursts inside for closer inspection, but first sends her young sister a threatening look.

Scheme: Bucholtz tricks Ragman’s brother Ervin, the carpenter leading the barracks building, onto company property and brutally whips him.

ACT 2

Mystery: Bucholtz attempts to cower Ragman’s brother who returned home to help with the barracks building; but, he moves into a fighting stance, issues a warning, and stares Bucholtz down until he retreats to the safety of his men.

Scheme: As the barracks building progresses, Bucholtz devises a new plan for revenge and possessing Ludie.

Hidden Identity: When crusty Ragman’s neighbor calls him a good man, Ragman warns him not to tell anyone and ruin his reputation as a hard ass.

Mystery: Alone with Ludie, Bucholtz pleas for her to love him.

Superior Position/Conspiracy: The audience sees that the young trooper and Reise conspire to make noises to fool Bucholtz into thinking the boy is carrying out his order to rape the girl.

Cover Up: After the rape in order to protect Ragman and Stan, Ludie makes her sister swear not to tell anyone what happened to them.

ACT 3

Hidden Identity: Ragman beams when he recieves the long awaited patent for his invention.

Scheme: Ragman orders his men to destroy the miner’s food stores when they put all their furniture out on the street for auction as hungry families will push them back to work.

Covert Agenda: When union bosses fail to follow through with needed relief for the striking families, Albert finds help from the Red backed Pennsylvania and Ohio Relief to piss off the union leaders.

Conspiracy: Bucholtz conspires with the Black Hand at the grocery in Little Italy section of Curtisville to trick him onto company property.

Scheme: Ragman learns that Ervin is in the Curtisville lockup and drives to a railsiding. He and Albert wait until dark and use a hand car to slip into town for a jail break.

Secret: Ludie keeps her pregnancy and abortion secret from her husband.

Conspiracy: Ragman asks Bernard to spy on Bucholtz and he agrees.

Scheme: After being called on the carpet by company executives, Bucholtz designs a brilliant but sadistic plan for revenge and victory.

ACT 4

Hidden Identity: Ragman confronts Bucholtz about raping Ludie. Bucholtz confesses to being the 17th man, the one Ragman left live.

Cover Up: Bucholtz goes bonkers and bludgeons a man to death with a fence piling and blames it on the young striking miners and arrests them.

Conspiracy: After Ragman learns Bucholtz plans to a machine gun to mow down the picket line of men, women, and children, he calls Anthony at union headquaters for help and together they craft a plan to stop Bucholtz.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Making sure we design intriguing moments into every act will engage the audience and producers!

ACT 1:

Intrigue: Abby is walking with gloves and booties, as is her dog. What’s happening?

Secret: Relish packets fall from Jack’s pocket

Covert Agenda: They’ve decided Abby should take over, while she’s in the bathroom washing the coffee off her clothes.

ACT 2:

Secret: Abby is trying to hide her phobia from the maids.

Intrigue: Maids are watching/spying on Abby.

Cover up: father didn’t want anyone to know the business is in trouble.

Covert Agenda: Boomer is trying to get close to Abby so he can get info from her on business.

Cover Up: Jack doesn’t admit that it’s Boomer’s apartment.

Cover Up/Hidden Identity: Jack’s hiding that he’s a hoarder (room in warehouse)

Conspiracy: Boomer is paying maids to have the maid flu

ACT 3:

Scheme: The maids are pretending to have the maid flu, are really playing poker.

Super Position: Audience knows Boomer is “up to no good” when Jack suggests having him look at the books.

Covert Agenda: Boomer happy to look at the books. Uses the info to make the company look bad, people quit.

ACT 4:

Hidden Identity: Boomer is really Randall who has been sending the caustic business letters.

Cover Up: Boomer blames it on his father.

Secret: Jack has created a modular system for Abby.

[Bill kellas]

2. Give us a one sentence explanation of the intriguing moments in each Act of your project. Like the example above.

IntrigueSecretCovert agendaHidden identityConspiracySchemeSuperior positionCover upMystery

3. For any Acts that don’t have at least two intriguing moments, brainstorm how you could create more for that Act.

Use Process 2 above to turn drama into intrigue.  Subject: Trilogy 2 Satans son’s secrets

Beginning this is the set up from smarter than God ,Satans story

Kids Trained in Satans Soviet school for spy’s,assassins and analysts before the fall of USSR. After the fall they escape into Italian earth energy cult called Damanhur at the foot of the Alps.setup

KIDS ARE REALLY TRAINED KGB AGENTS
Insighting insident

After Murder at Davos where their father is killed in an assassination plot. Reveal emotional loss of the person who really believed in the kids as all family hugs and trusted their judgement in their performances.

THEIR REAL FATHER WAS A HIGH POWERED LEADER OF THE KGB.

The Family is forced to Flee to America mom married a mafia hit man who turns states evidence so she could get citizenship . He however is never the same as their real father. Loss of relationship.Setup

THERE IS ALWAYS TENSION BETWEEN THE MAFIA WAY AND THE KGB WAY AND WHYS.

Family shipped to Monrovia California under witness protection program

Step dad becomes a bookie for sports gambling and works out of Santa Anita Racetrack. Setup

YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF THE MAFIA BUT YOU CANNOT TAKE THE MAFIA OUT OF THE MAN.

That’s Where he beats a dead beat gambler almost to death who didn’t pay him his gambling debts.reveal emotions lack of safety if they cross him.

Before school Troy is playing 4 timed chess matches at the same time and wins them all . That is until a bad looser tossed the chessboard and try’s to confront him. The sore loser is taken down verbally and then held in check physically. TROY IS A MILD GENESIS BUT BECAUSE OF HIS KGB SKILLS WONT BE BULLIED

Troy says I hate mind less bully’s ,gangs and mobs. Setup

Turning point 1

First day at new school Cane is confronted by football players saying unsavory comments about his sister while trying to hit on her.

THE TWINS HAVE BEEN TRAINED BY DAD TO COVER EACH OTHERS BACK ALWAYS

Cane uses his courage to confront the quarterback a player slips behind Cane so the QB can push Cane over him . However Cane then flips over him and breaks one players leg and the QBs arm in the process.reveal

CANE IS BOTH A TRAINED IN GYMNASTICS AND MARTIAL ARTS.

It turns out he broke the receiver’s leg and QB s arm that gets him sent to the principal’s office.setup

However because ~Cane and Troy demolished the QB and star receiver they are called out of class to the principal’s office for a unexpected fortuitous meeting. That’s where they first met the man who could change their lives the football teams head coach. It is he who gives them the new real the consequences the ramifications of their actions.

They’re informed that ether they must replace them and learn to play football or face expulsion before the first game.setup

ATHLETIC TRAINING IS A WAY OF LIFE SO THEY CATCH ON TO IT QUICKLY AS A FISH IN WATER

Act 2

They learn to play with help from a neighbor who played for the Rams.setup BOTH COLLEGE AND PRO CONNECTIONS

Concurrently Molly and Amy write and make songs first for church and then go on to win America has talent which starts a music career for both.setup

Cane becomes Quarterback and Troy receiver as they developed both moves and timing patterns that knowone in high school could defend.

Cane starts relationship with Molly but is seduced by One of the wealthy song girls unbeknownst to Molly

Sooo Amy introduced her to her other introverted brother Troy who has moral character that she an trust. Due to the boy’s football relationship they keep Molly and Troy’s relationship as just friends on the QT.

An undefeated season ensues. Then after overcoming tough competition (rivalry games they show the courage to face and overcome their personal demons as they become coplayers of the year ) By the end of the season they each receive college’s scholarships offers for both athletic and for Troy academic .reveal THERE IS ALWAYS A TENSION AS TROY KNOWS WHAT CANE IS DOING TO MOLLY BEHIND HER BACK

However After the joy of celebrating their winning the championship setup ,they discovered that during the festivities their sister was kidnapped and ransom is asking 5 million dollars.reveal

AMY IS A TRAINED KGB AGENT AND KNOWS HOW TO SURVIVE

Turning point 2

Sooo mom and the boys start trying to figure how to make ransom money somehow .setup

Mom a scientist at JPL in Pasadena and Troy a genius developed state of the art quantum computer to solve problems like atomic fusion that could power the grid. Troy’s computer also solved the unfolding of proteins that helped solve many genetic autoimmune diseases both could legally in business make a king’s ransom but step dad wants to use it for crime. Reveal CONTENTIOUS COMPETITION ENSUES AS KGB SECRETS ARE BEHIND THESE DISCOVERIES

While DARPA gets wind of their work and wants JPL to license to them the fusion reactor to power a Cyborg army that normally would be used in warfare.setup

While Troy is hooked to the state of the art quantum computer for problem solving and emulating systems.setup
However Troy wants to use it to designed a plan To raise the money for Amy’s ransom .

Their step father overrides them and uses it to run probability programs to shave off points on the game’s to beat the odds and win money. After that he pretends to launder but really invests the cartels drug money in a Ponzi sceme He does this by taking slices off every stock trade investing their funds in the process corners the cripto currencies funding his own brokerage. THE MAFIA WINS SHORT TERM

After overshooting the 5 million dollar ransom and preparing to make the payoff. Amy escaped and they get their sister back a little worse for the wear.

Stepdad goes on to make and because step dads carelessness dishonesty and greed lose billions when their Ponzi scheme is hacked. setup

However because the cash stops flowing like all Ponzi Schemes do that’s when the chase begins.This now blow’s up and the complaints gets the attention of the federal government SEC-and IRS . The loss of cash flow to the investors the Mexican drug cartel and the mafia. They are now all after them because of their crooked stepdad’s rackets but all for different reasons . THE PAST STARTS CATCHING UP AS THE TRUTH STARTS UNRAVELING THEIR STORY AND THEY COULD HET CAUGHT AND DEPORTED

Act 3

Sooo step dad runs . They give an all family hug as they are now also on the run again fleeing their home. Out of nowhere a van hits them damage to the family first causing mom to break her neck.setup &reveal THE VAN IS CONTROLLED BY A CLANDESTINE GROUP OF ANARCHISTIC RAIDERS

The Car accident sets up Troy to loose his sight and Cane breaks both his arms and legs trying to stop himself from going through the front windshield. reveal They take Cane off in the van leaving mom and Troy as to damaged to save. Mom who now is losing consciousness from her decapitated neck she gives Troy her cross which has protected her all her life, then she explained it’s powers and then passes out.THE HIDDEN POWERS OF MOMS CROSS START GETTING REVEALED HERE setting up the rest of the story.

Turning point

That’s when The people in the van take Cane. Where they finish the job his mother and brother started. They did this by equiping him with the physical robotics,thermal eyes , a hive connection to a massive quantum computer network through neurological link like Troy was. This augmentation along with armaments and drone like flying capabilities would make Cane the perfect hive solder.setup CANE THINKS THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT HIS PAST, BUT THATS WHY THEY PICKED HIM. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHOS THE POWER REALLY BEHIND THEM.

Since Troy lost his vision and couldn’t find where his mom and Cane went. They checked all the morgues and hospitals it’s as though they vanished . LITTLE DO THEY KNOW THEY WILL MEET AGAIN

Sooo he goes back home where he meets up with his sister who is staying with Molly the pastors daughter. Molly who has lost Cane start’s falling for Troy and leads both he and his sister to the lord. OUT OF LOYALTY TO CANE TROY BECOMES JUST FRIENDS,FOR NOW

After repentance and praying For God to give him spiritual eyes to see through a world of deception and lies. God grants him spiritual eyesight and all the powers in the Bible plus all his other senses become enhanced. GOD HAS A PURPOSE FOR TROYS LIFE NOW TROY IS STARTING TO SEE IT TOO.

While Troy still had a hard time seeing where people were but he could discern who and what they were which was much more valuable.setup HOW HE IS LIKE A WALKING LIE DETECTOR THIS WILL COME IN HANDY IN THE FUTURE

Act 4 preparing for battle MOLLY AND TROY BOTH CHANGE THEIR TUNE ON LOYALTY CANE , TROY AND MOLLYS RELATIONSHIP

Meanwhile Molly and Amy write more songs and help Troy develop the gifts God gave him. Amy and Molly starts believing Cane will never return. That’s when Amy shares the story of Cane infidelities so Molly and Troy can get together. That’s when they train Troy to be more capable than he ever was in the churches gym and training room training with the seal team . setup

They help Troy recover as he puts to use and training by using the lords promised powers of the scriptures to grow in his walk with God. With the lord’s power to be able to enhance his other senses and see signs and wonders ,prophecies and do miracles like in the Bible. Troy develops the strength of Samson,the brains of Solomon and the faith of a prophetic

wonder worker like Elijah . Through his mentor Troy becomes a force for good in God. GODS PLAN IS WORKING TROY IS BECOMING THE WARRIOR HE WILL HAVE TO BE AS THE FINAL CONFLICT TURNS DEADLY.

When working out Troy’s punch bursts the body bag and beats the gyms top warriors all at once.setup

In the mean time Cane is getting his Cyborg capabilities up to speed by the Satanic cult that is making him an Antichrist atheist beast transhuman hive warrior. Cane is having the same kind of success in his training as Troy unbeknownst to ether.

THE MEETING IS COMING NEITHER WILL HAVE A CLUE WHERE THE OTHER WENT AND WHAT THEIR DOING NOW.setup

Canes and his team are building and army of transhuman soldiers who sink up as a hive controlled by the inventor queen who is forced to work for the beast to conquer the worlds nations. Setup

Troy is the only human that can stand up to Cane’s army still has no idea it is His brother as the final battle is coming. That’s when Troy finds out the queen that they rebuilt is actually his long lost mom.reveal HIS MOTHER AND TROY NEVER KNOW UNTIL ITS TO LATE

Cane is forced to battle not under his own control but the hives control for the future of the worlds inhabitants by the Chinese dragon himself. Now the question for the ages will finally be answered . Are we to becomespiritual ,mechanical or technological.

Troy is killed in the battle. That’s When Molly and Amy come forward crying to claim the body.setup

Sooo Cane and his mother learn at last that the warrior was Troy. Reveal

Reveal This breaks their heart bringing the two to their knees to repent praying and asking God for forgiveness. MOMS FORMER FAITH RETURNS AS THE VAIL IS LIFTED FROM THEIR EYES THEY NOW SEE HOW THEY HAVE BEEN DECEIVED AND BETRAYED BY THE DRAGON.

Sooo God resurrected Troy and brings the family back together for an all family hug.

However The evil force that caused this all to happen the Dragon of old then shows up and released his power and turns all his whole hive army against the family.

Out of the sky Christ and his angels return to MORE THAN balance the equation and help his family overcome the Evil one.

Then as the real powers line up to face each other as Armageddon begins we Segway to the kids on space education pod as the start of ww3 begins the war of three worlds ,the third story of the trilogy. Setup for the rest of the story. THE REAL POWERS HAVE THE FINAL SHOW DOWN.

1.Smarter than God —Lucifer’s story

2.Satans son’s secrets— the twins revolution

3.World war 3 the war of three worlds —preparing for the next world .

Armageddon

[Zeke Farrow]

VISION FOR SUCCESS: I will deliver delicious, surprising, seemingly effortless work, that is constantly in demand and causes people to recommend me for original and rewrite projects without hesitation.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS Adding depth is easy when you’re looking for some very specific ways of doing it.

TITLE: Mitchwich

CONCEPT: On graduation day, a petulant cynic goes back in time to the first day of high school and changes the event that he thinks ruined his life and when he returns, he meets his worst nightmare – HIMSELF.

GENRE: TEEN BUDDY COMEDY

INTRIGUE:

SECRET:

ACT 1

COVERT AGENDA: Mitch wants to go back in time and change the poop incident.

COVERT AGENDA: Robbie is gay.

COVER UP: Mitch is New Mitch before traveling in time.

ACT 2

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Mitch pretends to be Cousin Mitch to hide his identity.

CONSPIRACY: Mitch and New Mitch conspire to create Cousin Mitch.

SCHEME: New Mitch wants Mitch to help him get New Sophie back.

SCHEME: New Mitch schemes to give Mitch the opportunity to do his trick again at the mid point.

ACT 3

SUPERIOR POSITION: Sophie is in a superior position to Mitch and New Mitch.

MYSTERY: How can New Robbie and New Simon have such different relationships to the world because of Mitch…?

MYSTERY: Will New Mitch and New Sophie end up together?

COVERT AGENDA: Mitch needs to help New Sophie and New Mitch fall in love with each other.

ACT 4

COVERT AGENDA: FUTURE MITCH shows up to help solve the time travel paradox. Multiverse exists.

COVERT AGENDA: Mitch is able to get on a new path with Mom, Dad, Robbie, and Simon. Mitch does his magic trick again at graduation. He wins Sophie over.

[Ian Greenham]

Ian Greenham’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: Completing this program will significantly enhance my screenwriting skills.

Doing this assignment I learned the importance of including intriguing moments.

ACT 1:

Intrigue: What actually caused Lynden Maher’s
death?
Secret: After finding Lynden Maher
unresponsive, Meredith turns his respirator off but later denies doing so.
Covert agenda: Meredith hopes to cast
blame for Lynden Maher’s death on Nicki.
Scheme: The husband and wife witnesses in
Aly’s first case lie about having seen the defendant near the murder
scene.
Superior position: The audience knows
that Meredith turned Lynden Maher’s respirator off, but no one else does.
Cover up: Meredith lies about having
turned the respirator off.
Mystery: How did Lynden Maher actually
die?

ACT 2:

Hidden identity: Aly and Nicki are
unaware that they are identical twin sisters.
Superior position: Nurse Jenny and the
audience know that the girls are twins before they do.
Cover up: Nurse Jenny initially asks Nicki
for a bone marrow donation before Nicki knows it would be for her twin
sister.

ACT 3:

Covert agenda: Aly invites Dr. Blair out
for dinner, hoping to engage his interest.
Scheme: Meredith’s hostility toward Nicki
is raised in order to undermine her testimony against her.
Cover up: Why is Ben Nevers initially
reluctant to speak with Aly?
Mystery: What is the reality about the
condition of the respirators at St. Mary’s Hospital?

ACT4:

Intrigue: Was Nicki denied a nursing
position at City Central Hospital because of her conviction record?
Secret: Nicki reveals that her foster
mother was actually her birth mother’s twin sister.
Covert agenda: Nicki apparently knew all
along that Lynden Maher was her father.
Hidden identity: Ben Nevers has hidden
from Nicki that he is in love with her.
Cover up: Why is the report on the
condition of Lynden Maher’s respirator missing from the hospital records?
Mystery: Ben Nevers tells Aly he suspects
Meredith killed Lynden Maher and tried to pin the blame on Nicki.

[WIM: Module 4, Lesson 8 Depth – Intriguing Moments – Aug 8, 2022]

[Joseph McGloin]

Joe McGloin’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: I am a talented, highly regarded, efficient, relaxed, happy, WGA screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is intrigue already abounds in a script that is formed using the techniques we are learning, and it helps to identify the instances that need to happen regularly throughout the script to maintain audience interest.

Act I

<div>
Covert agenda: Jane agrees to a date
knowing she will stand her suitor up.</div><div>

Hidden identity: Max as Jane’s
potential guardian angel

</div><div>

Conspiracy: Clarence withholds support
for Max to cause him to fail

Scheme: Max interferes with Jane’s day
to gauge her response

Superior position
Cover up
Mystery: Why does Jane feel a relationship
will ruin her career?

</div>

Act II

<div>
Covert agenda: Jane will turn the
table on her co-workers by re-writing the bill so it will pass
</div><div>

Scheme: Jane wants to put an end to
lying in politics

Superior position: Max has to take on
a human body full-time, restricting his ability to interfere in Jane’s
activities

</div>

Act III

<div> Secret: Max and Jane are falling in
love but don’t admit it to themselves
</div><div>

Covert agenda: Clarence eases up on
his plan to cause Max to fail, and changes to helping Max succeed

Hidden identity: Max is losing his
objectivity and may need to end his role as Jane/s guardian angel

Scheme: Jane starts to clean up politics
at her own state level

Superior position: Jane realizes her
need for a relationship of some kind to help her with her career

Cover up: Max covers up his feelings
by saying he can’t explain why he has to resign as Jane’s aide.

</div>

Act IV

<div>
Secret: Clarence confesses that he,
like Max, flunked Cherub
</div><div>

Covert agenda: Max has to leave his
role as angel so another can be appointed

Covert Agenda: Jane determines to
reform politics from the top down

Scheme: Jane turns the tables on her
boss’s political rival by exposing the lies they are telling, causing her
boss to win.

Scheme: Clarence pushes a plan that
will allow angels and humans to interact on earth
Superior position: Max must die to
give a more objective angel the role of guardian of Jane Unsolvable Problem: Clarence must find
a way to keep Jane in politics after Max’s death so she will stay on her important
mission

</div>

[Linda Anderson]

Linda Anderson’s Intriguing Moments

Vision for your success from this program:

Audiences around the world view and love my meaningful screenplays—one of the most satisfying and energizing accomplishments of my life.

What I learned from doing this assignment is there were more depth and intriguing moments in the script than I realized.

Title: Ticket to Live

Genre: Inspirational Film

Act 1-Allen doesn’t tell his supervisor/mentor that he’s going to chase an escaping criminal before backup arrives.

Act 1-Secret: When he gets home from night shift, Allen doesn’t tell Linda he almost got killed because he doesn’t want her to worry.

Act 1-Cover Up: Allen won’t talk about his violent ex-cop PTSD dream because it’s too painful to relive and would be a burden to her.

Act 1-Cover Up: Allen feigns disinterest in adopting abandoned dog but he’s avoiding going through pet loss again.

Act 1-Mystery: Why does Harley growl at Harleys?

Act 1-Mystery: Why is Leaf afraid of large white men?

Act 1-Hidden Identity: Leaf isn’t the cute little cocker spaniel he appears to be. He’s aggressive when he feels scared or cornered.

Act 1-Hidden Identify: Leaf shows he has the ability to love and trust.

Act 1-Scheme: Linda and Allen hide Leaf’s backstory from the animal communicator to see if what she says she hears from him is for real.

Act 1-Secret: Allen’s greatest fear is that the brain aneurysm will cause a stroke and result in a lifetime disability like his father.

Act 2-Scheme: Allen creates his fact sheet (The Memo) to hide from Linda how serious his situation is.

Act 2-Cover Up: Allen is so private, he won’t tell Linda how afraid he really is.

Act 2-Conspiracy: Allen asks his bf to take care of Linda if he dies from the brain aneurysm and/or blood clot.

Act 2-Mystery: Allen and Bob have a shared dream the night before his blood clot surgery.

Act 2-Scheme: Linda tells Arlene and Aubrey how to bribe Leaf with his favorite toy when they come to the house to take care of the dog while Allen is in surgery.

Act 2-Mystery: Allen doesn’t know why Leaf is tearing up slivers of newspaper and trying to give them to him after he tells Linda about his dream of not having a ticket for The Building of Life.

Act 3-Scheme: Allen and Linda take a basket of the animal books they wrote to the head nurse in neurology unit at the hospital to help make Allen visible and well cared for while he’s there recovering from brain surgery.

Act 3-Scheme: Allen and his sister Gail agree that he’ll say “Red Lobster” in ICU after surgery to prove his brain is still functional.

Act 3-Mystery: Allen has flash of inwardly seeing Leaf with the sliver of newspaper in his mouth like he did at home.

Act 3-Superior Position: Linda doesn’t know that inwardly Leaf delivered Allen’s ticket to The Building of Life seconds before the surgery began so is panicked when the surgeon calls a Code Blue.

Act 4-Consiracy: Linda protects Allen from Jose harassing him about needing to get back to work at their ailing company.

Act 4-Cover Up: Allen, on heavy steroids, falls when he gets out of bed without calling the nurse as he tries to convince himself he doesn’t need help.

Act 4-Scheme: Linda hides Allen’s car keys when he insists on driving Leaf to dog park even though it’s too soon in recovery for him to drive.

Act 4-Cover Up: Allen hides his brain surgery scar under a tan baseball cap. Linda gets information about nearest emergency room prior to Allen traveling for business too soon.

Act 4-Mystery: Leaf knows which button on the car radio to push with his paw to start playing the song Allen sings to soothe him when he’s stressed.

Act 4-Scheme: The dance instructor tells Linda and Allen that the test for their dance course isn’t designed for pass or fail but to show them how far they’ve come.

Act 4-Mystery: On a radio interview for Allen’s memoir about his dual journey with Leaf, he explains the spiritual connection and bonds of love that helped them heal each other.

[Tom Wilson]

Tom’s Intriguing Moments

While discussing projects with producers, I suggest several viable alternatives.

Doing this assignment, I learned it’s fun to turn any scene into multiple Intrigues.

Act I

Intrigue – Why does Mel spout and ET language?

Intrigue – Stan suspects Phil of something & secretly surveils his BioPlus activities.

Intrigue – Tells John he has to be in isolated till further notice.

Intrigue – Phil won’t comment on the pod found inside Mel.

Cover up – Why did Phil say he didn’t know about the pod removed from Mel?

Covert – What’s in the vial Rosen buys from hooded figure in the alley?

Secret – John secretly analyses supplements townies take. Detects LSD.

Scheme – John finds the vial w/LSD. Rosen must have used it to dope the townies.

Turning Point

Act 2 Plan

Mystery – Phil reels in ET hi tech container. Holds mysterious pod. Sends encrypted radio signal.

Mystery – Seeds yield weird vegetables. Tastes them. Feels positive physical benefits.

Intrigue – Phil flashes on the mountain top lake. John & Mel leave. Phil hikes up to the lake.

Plan in Action

Mystery – Produces a hologram that resembles him. Hologram morphs to life. Names him Abe.

Intrigue – Abe communicates by drawing insightful sketches. Illustrates their words.

Midpoint Turning Point

Act 3 Rethink Everything

New Plan

Mystery – John and Phil can’t believe how rapidly the plants grow from new seeds.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift

Mystery – Abe pours LSD into the pod.

Act 4 Climax

Resolution

Mystery – Abe gets on the raft. Jumps into the fire. Joins Phil in the flames.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Tom Wilson.

[Robert Smith]

ROBERT SMITH’s INTRIGUING MOMENTS

One sentence vision for my success from this program

I want to become a great writer who delivers entertaining, informative, and uplifting scripts that sell and get produced.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…?

The importance of discovering and creating intrigue to move the story along and keep the audience engaged.

The intriguing moments in each Act of my project.

TITLE OF PROJECT: A N G E L S I N G A N G L A N D

BEGINNING (PRELIMINARY ACTION):

CONSPIRACY: Boss Tony Rizzo orders Carlo Vizzini to kill fellow mafia soldier Lou Tasca.

(MORAL) CONFLICT: Carlo doesn’t want to do it, he likes Lou. Tony tells Carlo, Lou has to be killed because he spilled Giordano family secrets to members of other crime families (we learn he didn’t do this.) Tony promises Carlo that if he kills Lou, he’d become a made man.

Carlo kills Lou, then comes the awe-filled blood rite of becoming a made man, Family godfather Don Primo Giordano presiding.

ACT ONE

CONFLICT: Inciting incident in the Hereafter: Because of his life of crime Lou can not move on to his place in the World to Come. Lou argues with his spirit-guide (Rabbi Solomon Levitsky, a neighbor and father of fellow gangster Sam Levitsky) that he (Lou) did good and should be able to move on to the world to come.

COVERT AGENDA: Solomon sticks to his guns. But says there is a way Lou can rectify his life of crime by one supreme act of good: Lou must return to gangland in his spirit form and persuade Carlo to quit the mob, flip, and join the FBI Witness Protection Program. R. Solomon also wants a collateral good: that if he can get Carlo to quit the mob, his friend Sam (the Rabbi’s son – also a Giordano family associate) will join him in doing the same.

CONFLICT: Lou has his doubts he can convince Carlo and Sam to quit, flip, and enter Witness Protection because Carlo and Sam are hardwired to that oath of Omerta (silence) and not to ‘rat’ on fellow gangsters to the FBI.

But Lou goes along in spite of his feeling that this is Mission Hopeless. It’s his only way to move on to the World to Come.

SECRET DISCLOSED: R. Solomon tells Lou the real reason Tony Rizzo ordered his assassinated was because he (Tony) owed Lou $200,000 in gambling debts and didn’t want to pay it. Lou is livid and can’t wait to tell Carlo that he was duped by Tony Rizzo.

SCHEME: Lou wants to confront Carlo as soon as possible but ends up doing it not in private, but at his 30^th Birthday Party at which all the players are present: Carlo, Sam, and Tony Rizzo. Rabbi Solomon warns against it: “You are supposed to raise up better angels, not cause a St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.”

CRISIS: Tony witnesses Carlo in a paroxysm as he claims that he sees Lou and Tony concludes that a psycho-case like Carlo should be clipped because he will draw heat to the family.

INTRIGUE: Lou also suspects that Carlo and Sam are dealing drugs so he calls Russian mobster Oleg Oransky to get his ex-KGB henchmen to find out if that is the case. (Tony and Oleg share a gasoline bootlegging racket.)

INTRIGUE: Sherrie, Carlo’s fiancé (and a stripper at Tony Rizzo’s Playhouse Gentlemen’s Club, believes Carlo saw the spirit of Lou Tasca and wants her pole dancing partner “Zoey the Psychic Stripper” to come and do a séance to get Lou’s ghost out of the apartment.

CONFLICT: Sam, after renouncing his religion is a skeptic and thinks it’s crazy. Carlo feels the same because Zoey is also Tony’s mistress and a ditz, but Sherrie wins and calls Zoey.

ACT TWO:

CONFLICT: Sherrie rejects a suggestion by Zoey that the two of them strip for Lou Tasca like the Funeral Strippers in Taiwan. Zoey relents and agrees to a standard séance.

CONSPIRACY: Both R. Solomon and Lou believe that Zoey is an interference in their mission, so, because according to divine decree, Solomon is not to be seen or heard, Solomon teaches Lou how to spirit-possess Carlo to tell Zoey to bud out. That is what is done at the hilarious séance and Zoey, scared out of her wits, does just that.

CONFLICT: Sherrie, although she cannot see Lou believes he is present and welcomes his message to Carlo to quit the mob. Carlo refuses because as a made man he must keep the oath of Omerta (Silence). Sherrie also learns that Carlo killed Lou, over his pleas, she leaves him.

INTRIGUE: Carlo leaves a voicemail with Sam asking him to come over to the apartment. .R. Solomon is glad because now they will have Carlo and Sam together to persuade them both to leave the mob. Lou warns, “Provided Tony Rizzo doesn’t get to them first.”

ACT THREE

Tony Rizzo’s sit down with Oleg Oransky.

CONFLICT: Oleg tells Tony that his former KGB henchmen found no evidence that Carlo and Sam are dealing drugs. Tony rejects that report and says he’ll follow his own gut that they are. He claims he has a hitman ready to do the job.

INTRIGUE: Oleg plays a recording of Don Primo Giordano dissing Tony whom he thinks is a power-hungry loose cannon –that’s why he didn’t make him Underboss. Tony resolves to kill Carlo and Sam and then kill Don Primo and start his own family.

INTRIGUE (HIDDEN IDENTITIES): After Tony leaves, it is revealed that Oleg is an FBI informant wearing a wire for agents Michelle Ippolito and Dave Moore. Michelle did undercover surveillance on Tony as a stripper in his strip joint, posing as a stripper and Dave was presented to Carlo as an Russian crime associate of Oleg named Greeg– ohr-ee.

ACT FOUR

CONFLICT: Lou and Carlo continue to argue Carlo’s quitting the mob and entering Witness Protection.

Sam arrives and tells Carlo to quit talking about Lou Tasca’s ghost.

CONFLiCT: R. Solomon, after arguing with God to make an exception and allow him to speak by spirit possession through Carlo,

INTRIGUE: R. Solomon spirit possesses Carlo and warns Carlo and Sam that Tony is gunning for them both and they must surrender to the FBI right then and enter Witness Protection.

SECRET: Sam, at first convinced he is hearing his father, reverts to his skepticism and reveals that he is the hitman Tony Rizzo has sent to kill Carlo. Carlo retorts that means after Sam kills Carlo, Tony Rizzo will kill Sam. .

Carlo and Sam resolve to quit the mob and surrender to Witness protection.

.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Robert Smith.

[Teresa Rodriguez]

Teresa Rodriguez’s Intriguing Moments

MY VISION: I will become a highly respected, sought-after, and influential writer/producer with a successful production company that I can leave as a blessing to my children and many generations to come.

THEME: Self-acceptance

What I learned going this assignment is intriguing moments in every act make my screenplay more exciting and marketable.

ACT 1

Hidden Identity: We watch a girl in ragged clothes elude guards and sneak into the castle; she’s the princess!

Intrigue: It’s Lily’s big, televised moment to meet the Prince she is betrothed to marry, but he doesn’t show up for his grand entrance.

Scheme/Superior Position: The Evil Stepfather had the stairs waxed, setting up Lily to fall during her big entrance on national TV.

Intrigue/Scheme: The Evil Stepfather tells Lily what a failure she is, and he enjoys seeing her crumble, but why?

Scheme/Superior Position: We see the Evil Stepfather order guards to kill Lily.

Cover Up/Superior Position: We see Lily fake her own death, elude guards, and escape the castle.

ACT 2:

MYSTERY: Lily tries to take refuge at the Dwarf’s farm, but they throw her out for being royalty.

HIDDEN IDENTITY/COVER UP: Lily cuts and dies her hair to disguise her true identity.

SUPERIOR POSITION: We watch as Cops are called on Lily while she’s stealing food to survive; she runs but can’t escape, and they arrest her.

ACT 3

HIDDEN IDENTITY/SUPERIOR POSITION: We watch Lily get thrown into a homeless shelter with other imperfect people. They don’t know who she is and think she’s crazy for talking to mirrors.

HIDDEN IDENTITY/MYSTERY: Lily meets Prince, but we wonder who he really is, and what’s his full story.

HIDDEN IDENTITY/SUPERIOR POSITION: Lily, in disguise, does community service at the Dwarf’s farm and befriends them.

HIDDEN IDENTITY/COVERT AGENDA: The Evil Stepfather disguises himself as a poor baker and tries to poison Lily by hiding pieces of poisoned apple inside a peach tart.

COVER UP/SUPERIOR POSITION: We see Lily fake eating the tart and fake her death.

CONSPIRACY: Lily, Prince, and The Dwarfs devise a plan to save villagers from the Evil Stepfather’s plan to steal their “youth essence.”

ACT 4:

SCHEME/SUPERIOR POSITION: We see The Evil Stepfather plan to trap Lily when she tries to free The Dwarfs and Prince.

CONSPIRACY/SUPERIOR POSITION: We see Lily devise a plan to storm the castle with the help of villagers and animals to save The Dwarfs and Prince.

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Lily kisses Prince to try and save him, and his mother shows up to announce they are engaged to each other.

HIDDEN IDENTITY: The Evil Stepfather loses in a fight with Lily, and we see him lose his powers revealing that he is an “undesirable” the very people he banned.

SCHEME: To save his life, The Evil Stepfather reveals Lily’s mother is still but barely alive and tells Lily where to find her mother.

[Micki Hess]

Micki’s Intriguing Moments

My vision: Be recognized as a writer that will work with the industry and would do what it takes to be that WRITER.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the depth and intriguing moments add more to the scripts.

Act 1

Intrigue Sisters bickering is the final straw.

Secret: Famly plan on locking the sisters up in the attic.

Covert agenda To look for a tablecloth

Conspiracy Dakota overhears the plan.

Scheme Grandma will send the sisters to the attic.

Act 2

Intrigue Blake blames Dakota for being in the attic.

Secret Dakota wants to end the feud

Scheme Blake is not planning on looking for the tablecloth.

Mystery: Why is Blake mad at Dakota?

Act 3

Intrigue Blake reveals that she saw Dakota kissing John at a high school dance.

Secret Dakota and John are getting marry on 4th of July.

Act 4

Intrigue The sisters fight over a guy.

Secret Dakota let out her wedding plans.

[Leona Heraty]

Leona Heraty’s Intriguing Moments

My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry and my screenplays are produced into fabulous movies, making audiences laugh a lot and making me independently wealthy!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…that having lots of intriguing moments in my script adds a lot of excitement and fun, which I hope will intrigue the reader and the audience too.

Title: Tara vs. the Termo-Lytes
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept: A teenage tour guide with no sense of direction and an extreme fear of bugs takes a wrong turn and leads her group to an abandoned country club overrun by giant mutant termites.

ACT 1: Tara takes a wrong turn!

1. Superior Position: Toxic green goo oozes onto some dead termites and they come alive!

2. Intrigue/Mystery: Big Betty, the largest Termo-Lyte, starts to grow and smiles like a Cheshire cat when her clan start to grow too.

3. Mystery: Big Betty pulls out a nail file and starts to sharpen her nails and laughs. She picks up a hand mirror and admires herself in the mirror.

4. Mystery: Big Betty HUMS then leads the clan in a HUM-A-LONG. ADD FUNNY SONG.

5. Mystery: A bug flies into Tara’s car and she screams runs her car up on a curb, jumps out and climbs a tree as the bug follows her.

6. Mystery: Tara’s cell phone rings when she’s in the tree and she says she hasn’t forgot and will be there soon.

7. Mystery: Tara drives up to her house and parks and she hears laughter from her backyard.

8. Superior Position: Davy is hiding behind a plant. He jumps out and scares her and he screams and her Cheeze-Its fly everywhere as Davy laughs. Tara’s best friend, Clare, and Clare’s cousin, Max, are at a table near the pool, getting food. Tara’s Mom and Dad serving non-alcoholic cocktails. They laugh too.

9. Tara scowls when Davy grabs a handful of M&M’s in a bowl on the table, pops them in his mouth and says on the table with the snacks and Davy says he can smell chocolate a mile away.

10. Davy does a cannon ball jump into the pool, then makes a pest out of himself as everyone laughs, except Tara.

11. Davy demands better snacks as Tara picks up the Cheeze-Its on the ground and rolls her eyes and groans. Davy complains that there’s no almond butter for his Hershey’s chocolate bar. Tara tells him to take it up with the Management as Tara’s Mom and Dad laugh.

12. Tara’s Dad says they’ll be sure to pick up more peanut butter at Jensen’s as he chuckles with Tara’s Mom.

13. Mystery/Intrigue: Davy redeems himself by saying he’s a kid of many talents as Tara, Max and Clare scoff and laugh at him. Then Davy fixes the spraying floating pool filter and the broken Tiki torches. They get the tiki torches lit up and the music playing.

14. CRACK! Lightning strikes on the horizon. Everyone jumps. It’s a summer Monsoon. They grab the food and drinks and laugh as they run inside as starts to rain and the group runs inside and plops on the couch.

15. Davy grabs the remote control out of Tara’s hand as she scowls and tries to get it back but he’s too fast. He selects Amazon Prime and orders THEM!

16. Mystery: As the movie starts and the giant ants show up and make a loud HUMMING sound, Tara hides her face behind her a pink and purple magic unicorn pillow. Davy pokes fun of her and Tara’s Mom laughs and brings in snacks.

17. Davy demands peanut butter since they don’t have almond butter to dip his Hershey’s bar in while Tara and Clare and Max look at him with big eyes and open mouths and shake their heads as Tara’s Mom and Dad laugh and her Dad goes in the kitchen and brings back some peanut butter for Davy, to his delight.

18. Mystery: Tara shudders at the giant ants in THEM! She distracts Davy, grabs the remote from his hand and switches to a Rom/Com, then puts down her pillow and smiles.

19. Mystery: Davy grabs the remote and switches it back to THEM! Tara protests and throws her pillow at Davy, who dodges it and ignores her and stuffs his face with snacks. Tara and her friends stare at Davy as Tara’s parents chuckle.

20. Tara’s Dad reminds her that Davy is their guest as Tara nods her understanding to her parents but makes a face at Davy.

21. Tara says guest rhymes with pest as she makes a face at Davy as everyone laughs.

22. Mystery: Tara’s Mom and Dad mention the Home Garden Tour in a few days and reminds her she’s a backup driver, and it’ll be good for her. She rolls her eyes and changes the subject.

23. Tara’s Mom shows her a map for the tour. Each group goes to a different area, then switches the next day to tour a different group of home gardens.

24: Mystery: Tara turns red and changes the subject again.

25. Tara is embarrassed because she can’t read a map, so she changes the subject.

26. Mystery: Davy says he might go on the tour with his grandmother. Tara’s Mom says she really likes Davy’s grandmother, and the garden tour is in two days as she smiles and says it will be a lot of fun for the garden club members.

27. Mystery: Davy says he wishes his parents can go but they have abandoned him for the summer as he slumps and frowns. Tara’s Mom says that can’t be true and gives him a hug.

28. Mystery: Clare reminds Tara that they’re going on a post-graduation trip to her favorite place on earth, the same day as the garden tour.

29. Max says he’d like to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean with Tara and she blushes and Davy groans and Tara throws popcorn at him.

30. Mystery: Wed morning at the garden club, Tad, Peg’s “gentleman friend” drives up in his beater car, and it’s clear he’s really hung over and he says he has a splitting headache.

31. Ted waves at Meg then gets in his back seat and falls asleep as Meg yells at him and the crowd stares, eyes wide open.

32. Meg can’t drive because she has a cast on her leg from a broken ankle and she wrings her hands. She tries to wake up Tad but he’s fast asleep and snoring. Meg scowls at him. All the cars are full up and leaving. Tara’s Mom is driving one car, and Tara’s Dad is driving another.

33. Tara and Clare and Max are at Tara’s house, loading up the car with snacks as they tease each other and laugh as they prepare for the road trip to Disneyland.

34. Mystery: Tara gets the call from her Mom that they need her to drive two members since they can’t fit in her car. She doesn’t want to do it but her Mom guilts her into driving and reminds her it will be good for her, and one of her friends will be there, so she agrees to do it.

INCITING INCIDENT: Tara’s parents coerce her into driving the tour group, despite her protests of not being able to read a map.

35. Tara shows up at the Garden Club, and scowls and moans when she sees Davy and Peg. Mom hugs her and gives her the map and says she’ll be fine. They’ll all meet back at the club at 6 pm for dinner.

36. Covert Agenda: Tara sneezes, coughs and groans and says she’s thinks she’s coming down with something and she doesn’t want to get Meg and Davy sick. Her Mom chuckles and says just a few minutes ago, Tara was well enough to go to Disneyland.

37. Mystery: Tara’s smile turns to a frown when Tara’s Mom wonders if she’s really sick.

38. Mystery: She takes Tara’s temperature and then frowns. It’s normal. She scowls then agrees to drive Davy and his grandmother, Meg, on the home garden tour. Davy laughs and sticks his tongue out at Tara.

39. Mystery/Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Meg hugs Tara and thanks her, then smiles and makes her a secret green spirulina shake for Tara to help her cold. Meg says she’s been mixing up a lot of green goo lately…to drink! HUMOR. FORESHADOWING.

40. Mystery/Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Meg takes a sip of the green shape and repeats a FUNNY and MYSTERIOUS PHRASE.

Note: Whenever Meg has a sip of the green shake, she repeats a FUNNY PHRASE.

41. Mystery: In the car, Davy drives Tara crazy with his constant bragging that he can fix anything, and since Tara’s car is making noises, he can fix it. FORESHADOWING

42. Tara is so annoyed at Davy, she says it would be better if he’s not around.

43. Mystery: Davy gets quiet and says nobody wants him around, even his in-laws. Tara is puzzled, Tara says she’s just joking and fluffs his hair and says it’s OK and gets cheerful and says they’ll have fun today, and Davy perks up and smiles.

44. Meg says Davy has an overactive imagination and laughs. FORESHADOWING.

45. On the drive, a storm starts, the map blows out of Tara’s hands and out the window.

46. Tara pulls over and chases it down but can’t catch it as the wind whips it out of her hand. Tara’s cell phone goes dead and she yells. Peg doesn’t believe in cell phones so she doesn’t have one and Davy forgot his at home as Tara rolls her eyes.

47. Mystery: Tara makes a wrong turn and they go in circles until turn into a long driveway that leads the abandoned Laguna Mountains Country club, built in 1925. SPEAKEASY REPUTATION. Tara groans and turns red.

ACT 2: Tara comes face-to-face with her greatest fear: giant bugs!

48. Mystery/Secret: They pull up to the country club reception area, and get out of the car, Tara gets spooked and says she hears HUMMING, like bugs and something’s not right. Meg says she knows she’s been here before, when times were much better…long that ago.

49. Mystery: Tara jumps back in her car and says this place is bad news and tells Meg and Davy to get in. She tears around the circular driveway and runs over a big metal rake and pops a tire and yells.

50. Tara jumps in the backseat and puts her magic unicorn pillow over her head as Davy and Meg stare at her and laugh.

51. Meg says they should go inside and see if there’s electricity, so Tara can charge her phone.

52. Mystery: Meg coaxes Tara out of the backseat. Meg tries to coax her into the lobby/reception. Tara hesitates but says she she’s been a devout coward forever, and although this place gives her the creeps, she doesn’t want to be in the parking lot alone.

53. Mystery/Intrigue: Meg smiles says once the phone is charged, they’ll call for help. They hear loud HUMMING near them and they all jump and look around, wide-eyed.

54. Mystery: We hear a loud HUMMING and FUNNY LAUGHTER. In the tunnel under the dining room, Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are now 8 feet tall as they dance around and laugh.

55. Mystery: Big Betty is SINGING A FUNNY SONG about the best day of the year (summer solstice).

56. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty sniffs the air and says she smells brunch! She puts on a big apron and HUMS loudly and laughs as the other Termo-Lytes join laugh!

57. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty pledges her love to her Termo-Lyte Clan as she hugs the Termo-Lytes. As the Queen, she will lead the charge so they survive, and she knows a way they can even thrive. She winks and laughs and picks up something and charges around like it’s a sword as everyone laughs.

58. Mystery: Tara says this place gives her the creeps they shouldn’t be here. It’s not all it seems. She shivers as she tries to run out the front door.

59. Meg stops Tara and says they need to seek shelter or Tara’s cold could turn into pneumonia. Tara starts to sneeze and she grabs her Cheeze-Its out of her backpack and starts munching on them and then she calms down.

60. Mystery: Tara questions how Meg seems to know her way around the country club. FORESHADOWING. Meg smiles and pats Tara’s arm and says she’s been in so many country clubs in her day, they’re all alike.

61. Mystery: Davy rustles in his backpack and says he has a cure for the common cold.

62. Mystery/Secret: Tara and Meg look interested and amused. Then Davy pulls out a few Baby Ruths and hands one to Meg, then gobbles one down and laughs and shrugs.

63. Tara offers Cheez-Its to Davy and Meg but Davy says it’s junk food and politely declines the snacks. Tara and Meg stare at him in disbelief as Meg takes a few Cheeze-Its.

64. Superior Position: In the tunnel under the lobby, Big Betty and her Termo-Lytes are MUNCHING LOUDLY on FOOD left over…provisions and HUMMING.

65. Mystery: Tara and Davy and Meg get jump and look around when they hear LOUD MUNCHING and HUMMING sounds.

66. Mystery: They try to run out but Meg stops them and says it’s just the wind blowing the palm trees against the building but Tara says it’s something else, but Meg talks them into calming down. Meg reminds them they need to find a working outlet to charge Tara’s phone and call for help.

67. Superior Position: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ3: Big Betty and her clan are in a tunnel, planning a feast, mixing up dishes and moving here and there.

68. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty is picking pots and pans out of boxes and off of shelves and throws them at the Termo-Lytes to catch. She smiles sweetly, then has an evil grin and LAUGHS and says their summer solstice meal will have a special main course.

69. Mystery: Tara and the group are in the lobby, directly over Big Betty and her clan and they hear odd sounds that sound like a LAUGH and their eyes open wide as they look around them.

70. Mystery: Tara argues with Meg and says they need to get out of there because this place is spooky and who knows what’s around the corner and Davy says he agrees with Tara. Meg says it’s just the wind blowing the palm trees outside and not to worry and that old buildings always have strange sounds.

71. Mystery/Superior Position: Big Betty hears Tara and the group arguing and shushes the Termo-Lytes. They get quiet.

72. Mystery/Covert Agenda/Superior Position: Big Betty grins widely, and smothers a LAUGH as green goo slips off of her body and onto the floor.

73. Mystery/Covert Agenda/Superior Position: Big Betty dips her long fingernail in the green goo and writes BRUNCH in giant letters on the wall and draws an arrow pointing upward and smiles.

74. Mystery/Covert Agenda/Superior Position: The Termo-Lytes smile and nod yes and put their bibs on!

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are carnivores and they plan to eat Tara and the group for brunch!

75. Mystery/Intrigue/Secret: Tara leans against a secret panel by the fireplace and screams as she falls into a hidden staircase and rolls down it into the tunnel. Meg and Davy hesitate, but hear Tara’s moans and then follow her down the staircase and into the tunnel.

76. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Tara and the group come face-to-face with Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes! Big Betty leans over Tara and smacks her lips and smiles as Tara shrinks back and tries to scream but can’t.

77. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty smiles and says, “Oh goody, brunch is served!” as she claps her hands to rally the Termo-Lytes.

ACT 3: Tara and the group must fight for their lives to stay alive!

Add: Mystery/Intrigue: chase scenes through the tunnels,
Add: Mystery/Secret: Tara hides in a speakeasy bar in a secret room off of the kitchen.
Add: Mystery/Secret: Tara gets chased to a speakeasy cave filled with booze. She grabs a couple bottles of booze and stuffs them in her backpack. She uses Meg’s lighter to make a Molotov cocktails to distract Big Betty.
Add: Scheme/Secret: Tara tells Meg to hide in the caddy shack while she and Dave sneak out to the croquet lawn and he grabs the broken mallets and some palm fronds from the outdoor pool
Add: Mystery/Intrigue/Secret/Covert Agenda: Tara and Meg confront Big Betty in her boudoir in her cave where she finds where Davy is hidden. They distract her and find Davy, and they roll down the hill in her giant plastic curlers and end up at the croquet field as Big Betty chases them.

78. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Tara screams and tries to run but Big Betty’s big arms block her way and laughs and says they have plans for her and the kid and old bag.

79. Mystery/Covert Agenda/Hidden Identity: Big Betty introduces herself and her clan, the newly revived Termo-Lytes, who started out 1 million years ago as she puffs out her chest. She says green is her still her new fave color. She invites them to stay for brunch and enjoy the main course and LAUGHS.

80. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Tara sees BRUNCH and the arrow scrawled on the all as her eyes get big and she can’t speak.

81. Covert Agenda: As Meg shakes and taps her foot and lights up a cigarette and she and Davy cower as the Termo-Lytes surround them, Tara snaps out of her fear and says they’re going to be lunch if they don’t get out of there fast!

82. Big Betty frowns and grabs the cigarette out of Meg’s hand and points to a NO SMOKING sign down the hall and LAUGHS. She says, “Don’t you know smoking is bad for your health?”

83. Sabotage: While Big Betty is distracted by laughing at her own joke, Tara grabs Meg’s crutches and hits Big Betty on one of her giant painted red toenails, pissing off the Queen of the Termo-Lytes.

84. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Davy says they need to run for their lives and Big Betty picks him up and examines him then puts him down as he shakes. She says he’s a little chubby and would he like to join them for desert for their Summer Solstice feast and she laughs.

85. Covert Agenda/Scheme: Davy swaggers smiles and tries to charm Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes by offering to fix the broken door above them.

86. Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Big Betty turns on the charm, turning beautiful colors as she welcomes them to her humble home.

87. Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Tara is dazzled by Big Betty’s lovely colors and falls under her spell for a moment, and tells Davy and Meg that maybe Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes just want to be friends, and they mean no harm, and they’ve invited them to their Summer Solstice brunch so they must be nice after all.

88. Mystery: Davy says he might be a pest but he knows a predator when he sees one. He tells Tara to snap out of it and he pulls her hair and snaps her out of her trance.

89. Covert Agenda: The Termo-Lytes look hungry and advance on them, holding forks and knives and bibs on.

90. Covert Agenda/Scheme: Big Betty holds her clan back and says they act like children and not to worry, they’re herbivores anyway and gives them a Cheshire Cat grin.

91. Tara tries to run away but the bottom of the stairs is blocked by Big Betty.

92. Covert Agenda/Scheme: Big Betty insists that Tara and her friends stay for their Summer Solstice Feast. They will be her guests of honor! It’s at the big outdoor pool and patio nearby.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty won’t let Tara and the group leave. They’re trapped!

93. Covert Agenda/Scheme: Big Betty reassures the group and talks about the “feast” of the Summer Solstice and how they’ll have all kinds of “yummy treats.” The Summer Solstice happens in one hour, at 12 pm, when the sun strikes the top line on the tiki totem by the pool.

94. Covert Agenda/Scheme: Big Betty talks about “future plans” and “goals” to “make things better around here for her clan. They need more food to have baby Termo-Lytes and help them grow up to 8 feet.

94. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Meg’s water bottle filled with her green spirulina shake rolls out of her purse and Big Bettie jumps around and laughs with glee.

95. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty snatches it up. She admires it then open takes a swig and says green is her new “fave” color!

96. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty grows one foot taller and turns dark red and orange flashing colors. Her eyes flash red. Big Betty gets mean and scary.

97. Mystery/Covert Agenda: Big Betty pours the rest of the green shake on the floor and tells the clan to have some.

98. Mystery/Covert Agenda: The Termo-Lytes lap up the green goo and grow one foot taller too as Big Betty laughs and cheers them on.

99. Covert Agenda: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes advance on Tara and Davy and Meg.

100. Covert Agenda: Big Betty starts to HUM loudly and the Termo-Lytes join her in a Hum-a-long. Note: Add a funny SONG.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty was lying! She and the Termo-Lytes are carnivores and they plan to eat Tara and her group for brunch!

101. Covert Agenda/Scheme: Davy starts munching on a Baby Ruth and offers Big Betty one.

102. Covert Agenda: Big Betty snatches it out of Davy’s hand and gobbles it down. She tells Davy too many sweets with rot his teeth. She smiles sweetly as her sharp pointed teeth glisten and laughs.

103. Covert Agenda: Big Betty advances on Davy as he shrinks back and she tries to convince Davy that she can trust him. When he moves towards her in friendship, she snatches him up. She LAUGHS and says she lied, she is an omnivore after all.

104. Covert Agenda: Tara grabs Davy’s stash of candy bars out of his backpack, pauses and gives Davy a sly grin and a wink. She hurls the candy bars towards the other end of the tunnel, ignoring Davy’s protests.

105. Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes chase after the candy bars.

106. Tara dashes for the stairs and motions for Meg and Davy to follow her.

107. Tara and the group run up the secret stairs and slam the door behind them as Big Betty and the Termo—Lytes almost catch them but are too big to fit through the secret door at the top of the stairs.

108. Covert Agenda: Big Betty tells the Termo-Lytes to follow her as she lumbers down the tunnel.

109. Covert Agenda/Intrigue: Big Betty yells, “The feast must go on! Summer Solstice is just around the corner! We have a new main course!” and she laughs.

110. Mystery/Intrigue: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes exit the building and run towards a large outdoor pool with a patio area. The pool is filled with palm fronds and flowers from nearby trees.

111. Mystery/Intrigue: Big Betty motions to a sign that says Big Betty’s Summer Solstice Wing-Ding! There’s a big pot that’s boiling soup over a pile of wood, and she laughs when she points to the pot.

112. Covert Agenda/Intrigue: The pot gives off steam and Big Betty pulls out a giant ladle and tastes the liquid and says it needs more flavor, and laughs. She says she has a new ingredient that and will give it just the kick it needs. She does a dance and the Termo-Lytes join in with her dance.

113. Tara and Davy helps Meg on her crutches as they slowly make their way through a hallway off the lobby.

114. Meg sees a sign that says KITCHEN and says they can hide in the large industrial kitchen.

115. Secret/Intrigue: Tara gets her courage up and finds a light switch and it lights up the room. She searches for weapons on the shelves that are stocked with giant cans of food. She pulls a giant can of olive oil off the shelf and the shelf swings open and reveals a secret room behind the kitchen.

116. Mystery: Tara, Davy and Meg go into the secret room and stop and their eyes open wide and Tara whistles. The room has a vintage bar and bottles of booze and a roulette table. At the bar is a makeshift lab, where there are all sorts of sizes of bottles and jars and a jar labeled SPIRULINA. It looks like Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory and somebody has been experimenting with different herbs and spirulina.

117. Mystery/Intrigue/Secret: Meg says this must be an old speakeasy bar, from the 1920s, when the country club was built. Tara questions how Meg can know so much about this place.

118. Mystery/Intrigue/Secret: Tara says the jar of SPIRULINA looks like the same stuff that Meg made Tara’s cold recovery shake out of and Meg turns red and changes the subject, but Tara said maybe that’s what’s making Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes get bigger and meaner.

119. Mystery/Intrigue/Secret: Meg lights up a cigarette and her hand shakes as she dismisses the idea and says it must be some toxic pesticide that’s making Big Betty and her clan so big. She changes the subject and says they should look for a good outlet to charge Tara’s phone.

121. Superior Position/Covert Agenda: Near the pool, Big Betty pushes a vending machine closer to the patio. The vending machine has Butterfingers and Baby Ruth’s. Then she tears off the wrappers on some Baby’s Ruth’s and puts them on a table.

122. Covert Agenda: Davy smells chocolate and wanders away without Tara and Meg noticing. He walks down the hallway and follows his nose to a sign that says POOL THIS WAY.

ACT 3: TURNING POINT

123. Covert Agenda: Davy smells the chocolate and smiles and walks to the vending machine. Big Betty sneaks up behind him and snatches him as he SCREAMS FOR HELP!
ALL IS LOST!

ACT 4: Tara saves Davy and they kill Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes!

124. Covert Agenda/Unsolvable Problem: Big Betty says she has a treat for Davy. She drops him into the pool full of palm fronds and flowers as he yells for help. She says he’ll be safe until the Summer Solstice brunch in 30 minutes.

Note: Covert Agenda: Add a scene where Meg and Tara get in a golf cart and Tara pushes Meg down a hill and jumps in the cart and they she run over Big Betty’s toes. Big Betty runs after them and trips on something and gets stopped by a tennis court net.

Add: Mystery/Covert Agenda/Intrigue: Davy and Meg and are chased by Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes to through a winding tunnel, where Tara freezes up and then end up at a cave built into the mountain, with a frilly bedroom. Who’s is it? It’s Big Betty’s boudoir, or her bedroom.

Add: Secret/Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Big Betty questions why Tara has been so afraid of bugs and has no sense of direction. She reveals she and her Termo-Lytes were the bugs crawling on Tara’s leg when she was 5 years old when she got lost at the Halloween corn maze. Tara cries and Big Betty taunts her and says she was a coward then and she’s a coward now. Tara gets mad and YELLS back at Big Betty and decides to fight with all her might.

125. Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Tara and Meg hear Davy’s SCREAMS. She says she has an idea and grins. She grabs some cloth napkins, opens some bottles of booze and grabs Meg’s lighter out of her hands and says come on, we need to rescue Davy.

126. Covert Agenda: Tara uses the bottles of scotch and Meg’s lighter to make Molotov cocktails, which she hurls at Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes, pissing them off even more.

127. Covert Agenda: Big Betty dances and sings and HUMS as the the Termo-Lytes join her in her joy and prepare for their summer solstice feast at a covered patio next to outdoor pool.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes will be celebrating their return to the living!

128. Covert Agenda: Tara sneaks outside and grabs some croquet balls in the caddy shack in a grassy area near the pool.

129. Covert Agenda: Tara hurls some of the balls them at Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes to get their attention.

130. Covert Agenda: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes run away to catch the croquet balls.

131. Intrigue: Tara yells at Davy and says she’s going to get him out of the pool. She runs back and picks up some golf clubs from the caddy shack and uses one to rescue Davy from the pool.

132. Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Tara tells Davy she and Meg have a plan to kill the Termo-Lytes. Davy asks what it is and Tara says he’ll see. They run back to the speakeasy bar/lab where Meg is mixing potions.

133. Mystery: At the speakeasy bar/lab, Meg shakes and then she breaks down and cries and calls herself a loser. They says she’s a good person and Davy says she’s a warrior princess because she just rescued him. Tara says they need to learn the truth about her and she tells her story about the maze and termites when she was a kid.

134. Tara and Davy comfort her and the three have a group hug.

135. Mystery/Intrigue: Meg reveals she was making a green substance to create an eco-friendly way to kills termites but the spirulina makes them grow! She had no idea and didn’t mean for them to grow and know she’s afraid of what she’s done and the consequences.

136. Mystery/Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Tara yells with joy as she points to a turned over bottle of Turmeric that fell on a plant and it’s dying fast. She says she has a plan.

137. Covert Agenda: Tara says they can dip the croquet balls in olive oil and sprinkle them with Turmeric. It might kill the Termo-Lytes.

138. Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Big Betty is on the patio area near the pool, where she leads them in a SING-A-LONG. A clock shows 11:55 a.m. It’s five minutes until the Summer Solstice and the party will soon begin with a special main course on its way and she laughs.

139. Covert Agenda: The Termo-Lytes follow Big Betty’s orders and quickly set up the tables and decorations for the Summer Solstice Feast.

140. Covert Agenda: Big Betty motions that the big soup pot is boiling over and ready and she does a victory lap around the pool. She just needs to go find the main course to flavor the pot, and she’s sure they can’t be far away.

141. Mystery: It’s almost 12 pm – the exact hour when the sun cover the half-way Summer Solstice mark on the tall totem by the pool.

142. Mystery: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes dance around the totem and sign a FUNNY BUG SONG and start to count down ten to one.

143. Big Betty looks at her watch and announces it 12 pm, the Summer Solstice.

144. The sun casts a shadow on the mark on the totem where it says SUMMER SOLTICE.

145. Big Betty says welcome Summer Solstice! The Termo-Lytes go crazy in a frenetic dance!

146. Covert Agenda: Tara and the rush out outside and hurl the croquet balls dipped in olive oil and turmeric at the Termo-Lytes.

147. Covert Agenda: The Termo-Lytes gobble up the poisoned croquet balls and die one by one, except for Betty, who is too smart to eat the balls.

148. Covert Agenda: Big Betty is enraged and turns red and orange and advances on them, nails out and teeth gleaming.

149. Covert Agenda/Secret/Scheme: Big Betty pops a poisoned croquet ball into her mouth, but doesn’t swallow it.

150. Covert Agenda/Secret/Scheme: Big Betty falls on the ground and rolls around and fakes like she’s dying to get their sympathy as she turns into the lovely pastel and glittering colors.

151. Covert Agenda/Secret/Scheme: Tara falls for Big Betty’s crying routine and starts to pat Big Betty’s foot to comfort her.

152. Unsolvable Problem/Covert Agenda: Big Betty grabs Tara as Tara screams and Big Betty threatens to eat her!

153. Mystery/Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Big Betty spits out the poisoned croquet ball sits up and LAUGHS.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty is the source of Tara’s childhood fear of bugs and lack of a sense of direction!

154. Mystery: Big Betty tells Tara she knew her when she was a kid. Then she says she was one of the termites who chewed on her feet and legs when she was a kid and got lost in the Halloween corn maze and makes Tara shake and cry as Tara remembers her past trauma and comments on it and how it’s affected her life.

155. Mystery/Intrigue/Covert Agenda: Big Betty mocks Tara and says she’s an “easy prey” and it will be fun to have a new main course for their summer solstice feast.

156. Covert Agenda/Unsolvable Problem: Big Betty reminds Tara that she’s too afraid of bugs to ever fight back against her as Tara shivers and cries.

157. Big Betty blames Tara for “putting the kibosh” on the Termo-Lytes comeback ten years ago at the corn maze, because the farmer sprayed them with pesticides the next day.

158. Big Betty blames the Sumerians for developing their crude pesticides 4,500 years ago and “putting all the Termo-Lytes out of business!

159. Unsolvable Problem: Big Betty stands up, scoops up Tara and grabs a large bottle of salt and pours some on Tara and then opens her mouth to eat her as Tara screams.

160. Tara shrinks back and freezes, then Davy yells at her to not give up and to fight back.

CLIMAX

161. Covert Agenda: Tara snaps out of it and grabs the last of the Turmeric balls out of her backpack and hurls it into Big Betty’s nostril.

162. Big Betty breaths in the poisoned croquet ball, moans loudly and dies instantly!

163. The group has survived the attack of the Termo-Lytes!

164. Mystery/Unsolvable Problem: Tara and Davy and Meg hurry away, laughing. They sit on the fountain by the main entrance, hugging each other, then wondering what they should do next to get home. The sun has come out and the clouds have cleared away.

165. Unsolvable Problem: A bug lands on Tara’s shoe and she cringes for a moment and shivers. Then she composes herself and laughs. Tara is no longer afraid of bugs!

RESOLUTION

166. Mystery: The sun clears the clouds away as Tad drives up in his hippy van with Tara’s Mom and Dad and Clare and Max, much to Tara, Davy and Meg’s surprise. Tad says he took a wrong turn following the map, and it turns out the map was wrong!

167. Mystery: Ted proposes to Meg and reveals he’s not the unemployed bum she thinks he is. He’s the owner of a gold mine. He’s not a bum after all!

168. Clare and Max said they couldn’t go to Disneyland without Tara. Max says Tara’s the only girl he want to go on Pirates with.

169. Mystery: Tara blushes, then notices Davy looking sad. She hugs him and say she won’t go to Disneyland without her best bud, Davy, and he smiles and says he can’t wait to go as the group cheers and Max and Clare says Davy is welcome to join them.

170. Mystery: Tara’s Mom’s phone rings. She says it’s some people who are very important on the phone. She hands Davy the phone. It’s Davy’s parents are calling him via WhatsApp. They tell him they miss him so much, they’re cutting their trip short and will be home tomorrow night as Davy whoops for joy.

171. Mystery/Superior Position: One month later: Inside the speakeasy lab: a rat knocks another jar of green goo on the floor.

172. Covert Agenda/Superior Position: The jar breaks and the green goo seeps toward a hole in a baseboard, where termites eat away on the wood…the goo starts to cover them and they start to come alive and grow bigger.

[Tracy Lawson]

Tracy’s Intriguing Moments

I am great at discovering and creating intriguing moments!

I will do whatever it takes to become a successful author and screenwriter with multiple successful screenplays produced.

ACT 1:

Cover up: Anna’s brother-in-law visits at Christmas, home from the army.

Mystery: Why has he come home unexpectedly?

Scheme: He has deserted from the Continental Army and smuggled out the dead body of his younger brother, disguising him as an officer so his body will be sent home for burial instead of dumped in a mass grave.

Intrigue: Anna’s Uncle William disparages the army in front of Thomas, baiting him about how Washington has lost too many battles that fall.

Conspiracy: William, who was in favor of the war at first, is now financing a smuggling ring that is sending supplies to British POWs to aid a breakout.

Scheme: When Anna receives a letter from her husband that confirms the terrible conditions at Valley Forge, she collects supplies and plans to take them herself.

Mystery: Anna knows the danger she will face on the road, yet she insists on going herself. Why?

Covert Agenda: William offers to bankroll her trip—if she delivers a letter and a check to his business associate on the way.

ACT 2:

Intrigue: Anna sets off for Valley Forge alone. Every time she interacts with someone she is assumed to be a prostitute or a spy, as she is without male escort.

Mystery: Why does Anna believe she cannot trust this errand to anyone else, even though it means leaving her 3 small children at home with her relatives?

Intrigue: Anna finds lodgings for the night with a widow, whose son is in the army. She warns Anna spies and traitors are everywhere and that she is in grave danger by making the trip.

Covert Agenda: Anna’s father died when she was a child and Anna knows the hardships widows and orphans face in society and in the court system. She must preserve her family.

Scheme: When Anna deliver’s her uncle’s letter she overhears that the payment is meant to finance the smuggling operation.

Covert Agenda: Anna follows the wagons with the secret cache of guns and supplies, hoping to thwart the smugglers before they can reach the British POWs.

Scheme: Anna is intent on following the wagons. As she searches for them, she is set upon by two highwaymen and is rescued by an older man who says he is a local magistrate.

Conspiracy: The “magistrate” is part of the gang of highwaymen, and the ruse was to direct her off the main road so they can rob and rape her. She tries to bargain for her release by telling them of the secret cache of weapons on the road just ahead.

Superior position: Two Hessian soldiers lurk in the shadows nearby

Intrigue: Before Anna is harmed the soldiers kill the highwaymen and signal that she is to come with them. Has she fallen prey to the enemy with the most brutal reputation of all?

Hidden identity: An older man, Ludwick, who is with the Hessians, reveals he is a spy for General Washington. They overheard her bargaining with the highwaymen and have connections in the next town that can warn the POW camp commandants in the area to be on the lookout for the smugglers.

Hidden Identity: Ludwick suggests Anna dress in her husband’s clothes on the road to avoid unwanted attention. He rides with her for two days, and teaches her some spycraft and survival skills.

Intrigue: At York, Anna witnesses General Gates give a speech and overhears several men criticize General Washington. Are there really so many who would want Gates to replace Washington?

Conspiracy: A congressman approaches Anna with an urgent message that must reach Washington right away–about a conspiracy against him.

Cover up: Anna agrees to carry the message to Valley Forge as his secret courier.

ACT 3:

Covert Agenda: Anna sets off with the message and sees soldiers stopping other (male) riders and searching their belongings.

Cover up: When a man confronts Anna and demands the message back, she lies and says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, puts the whip to her horse, and gallops away.

Intrigue: The man doesn’t even try to catch her. Why? She realizes he knows she is headed for Valley Forge and will simply track her until there is an opportune moment to take the message.

Scheme: At the next ferry crossing Anna bribes the ferryman to take her across ahead of her pursuer. She ends up on the same ferry as the smugglers, who have been delayed by the bad weather. The ice on the river is treacherous, so the ferry did not run.

Scheme: With at least two hours’ head start on her pursuer, Anna stops and tells the authorities about the smugglers.

Intrigue: The delay has allowed her pursuer to catch up—and they end up at the same tavern for the night.

Cover up: The conspirator doesn’t recognize Anna in the dim light. She is dressed in her husband’s clothes again. She bribes a kitchen maid to let her spike the man’s drink, and then spends the night hidden in the kitchen larder.

Scheme: The next morning, Anna hobbles the man’s horse by removing one of its shoes, and escapes just in time.

Intrigue: As she nears Valley Forge, she passes a field hospital. Are her husband or brothers ill inside? She stops, spends too much time there, and her pursuer catches up once again.

ACT 4:

Intrigue: When Anna reaches the Valley Forge picket line ahead of her pursuer, the soldiers there accuse her of being a spy and don’t believe she needs to see the general.

Superior position: When the pursuer shows himself, they exchange gunfire, but he escapes. The soldiers take Anna into custody, unsure if she’s part of some larger plot.

Superior position: As the soldiers escort her to headquarters, they pass her husband, Benjamin, on the path. Anna’s horse, and then Anna, recognizes him.

Intrigue: Washington meets with Anna and Benjamin and accepts the message but does not say he’ll read it. Was Anna’s mission in vain?

Superior position: The second day, the Board of War arrives, and Anna knows why they are there—to gather evidence to remove Washington and appoint Gates commander in chief.

Scheme: Alexander Hamilton summons Anna and tells her the message has been read and acted upon, and that it helped the commander prepare to meet his detractors. The plot has been neutralized.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Intriguing Moments

What I learned from doing this assignment is it is possible to build more intrigue, even at this point.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

HIDDEN IDENTITY/MYSTERY: Hayden kills Lonnie, but why since Lonnie’s family took Hayden in after his parents were part of a murder-suicide while they were in high school?

MYSTERY: Why is Eppsa looking for Hayden?

INTRIGUE: Eppsa sees Lonnie’s spirit after he dies.

INTRIGUE: Lonnie needs Eppsa to help him find his killer.

SECRET/MYSTERY/COVERT AGENDA: Hayden hides a body in his ice cream truck freezer while his son, Evren, is with him. Who is the dead person?

ACT 2:

SCHEME: Eppsa, with the help of Lonnie, plans to find the serial killer.

SUPERIOR POSITION/COVER UP: Hayden lies to the cops and sits with the sketch artist. The cops admire Hayden for trying to save Lonnie. They want to give him a Good Samaritan Award.

MYSTERY: Why are people dying? TikTok videos, suicide, or serial killer?

SUPERIOR POSITION: Lonnie is telling the truth that there is a serial killer, but Eppsa doesn’t believe him.

COVERT AGENDA: Eppsa tries to help Lonnie pass over by talking to a psychic, Clover.

MYSTERY: Why is Hayden telling Evren it’s okay to kill?

SCHEME: Why does Hayden want to know so much about Evren’s new friend, Reece Ziccardi, and his dad, Finnick Ziccardi?

MYSTERY: How can the little girl, Clair, talk to a ghost?

SUPERIOR POSITION: Eppsa sees Tavish and thinks he killed himself since there’s no blood, but we know he was murdered by Hayden.

INTRIGUE/SUPERIOR POSITION: Why is Hayden getting so friendly with Finnick since Finnick was his friend from high school? We know he’s getting information so he can kill Finnick.

COVERT AGENDA/INTRIGUE: Eppsa has Clover channel Lonnie to help Lonnie pass over.

SCHEME: Hayden wants to know about Kenji at the soup kitchen.

MYSTERY: Why does Eppsa tell Bess the bicyclist will be okay when she knows she died?

ACT 3:

SUPERIOR POSITION: Lonnie knows that the serial killer is still out there. We know Hayden is the serial killer, and his life isn’t in jeopardy.

INTRIGUE/SUPERIOR POSITION: Hayden takes his eight-year-old son hunting, but we know he’s grooming Evren to become a serial killer.

SECRET: Clover knows Eppsa is a spirit but won’t let Eppsa know because she might not ever be able to move on if she doesn’t help her son.

COVERT AGENDA: Eppsa and Bess discuss holding a séance to help Lonnie pass over.

SUPERIOR POSITION: We know that Lonnie is watching Hayden and Evren at the cemetery.

INTRIGUE: Eppsa helps a grandmother who is still mourning the death of her grandson, who died 15 years prior. The grandmother says he was killed, although the doctors said he committed suicide.

INTRIGUE: Lonnie tells Eppsa that other victims can’t pass over until the serial killer is discovered and stopped.

INTRIGUE: Will Eppsa be able to find Hayden?

INTRIGUE: Hayden threatens his wife’s life if she considers getting professional help from a psychiatrist. Would he really do it?

SUPERIOR POSITION: A woman who sees blood inside the ice cream truck is suspicious and questions Hayden.

MYSTERY: What does Lonnie know about Eppsa?

ACT 4:

MYSTERY: What will Eppsa find when she gets home?

MYSTERY: How is she going to stop Hayden from killing his wife?

MYSTERY: What cycle won’t end? Killing?

INTRIGUE: Eppsa discovers all the other people she spoke to were ghosts and victims of Hayden since he was in high school.

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Evren has a collection of things he has killed or mutilated and is mentally ready to be a serial killer when he grows up, just like his dad.

[Sandra Nelles]

Sandra’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: I am doing what I love to do as a writer with several successful produced movies.

What I learned doing this assignment is that I already had intriguing moments built into each of the acts.

ACT 1

Intrigue/Mystery: Why are the police knocking on Sloane’s door with rifles drawn? What has he done?

Scheme: Before running out of the restaurant, Sloane’s mother coached him on what to do and where to wait for her.

Covert Agenda: Mr. Big orders someone to rough up Sloane.

ACT 2

Hidden Identity: Mr. Big appears to be a respectable banker, and hides one of the largest money laundering empires.

Conspiracy: Mr. Big lures Sloane into the money laundering and smuggling business.

Hidden Identity: Sloane hides his illegal activities from his wife, friends, and family. They think he’s just a sea captain.

Covert Agenda: Mr. Big tips off the police to Sloane’s location.

Cover Up: Sloane hides large amounts of cash in his closet and pays off the police.

ACT 3

Scheme: After Sloane quits smuggling, Mr. Big plots to bring him back.

Secret: Without telling Sloane, Mr. Big orders the sinking of the ship to collect the insurance money.

Secret: When his mother dies, Sloane learns his father wasn’t his biological father.

ACT 4

Hidden Identity: Sloane doesn’t discuss his past illegal activities while in treatment or when he graduates.

Coverup/Mystery: Mr. Big disappears. Where did he go? Was he captured or hiding somewhere?

[Lori Lance]

Lori’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.

What I learned is to make sure I have intriguing moments in each act.

ACT 1

Intrigue: A frantic engineer is running through the hallways of AI, Inc., searching for something/someone.

Hidden Identity: The audience doesn’t know that Alex is a sophisticated AI.

Secret: Alex hacks into a computer at AI, Inc., and places herself on a list of AI housemaids.

Superior Position: The audience knows that Alex manipulated the system to end up at the Logan home and that Alex can go to great lengths to get what she wants. She’s a possible threat to the Logan family.

Mystery: What will Alex do at the Logan home?

Hidden Identity: There’s something off about the new neighbors.

ACT 2

Covert Agenda: Alex wants to take Claire’s place permanently.

Superior Position: The audience knows that Claire is having second thoughts about returning to work. Not only that, but she is growing jealous of Alex.

Intrigue: How is Brad going to react to his attraction to Alex?

Covert Agenda: Alex has discovered her power over men and plans to use it to her advantage.

Scheme: Alex is sending Claire fake pictures to make her upset. Alex plans on eliminating Claire.

Conspiracy: The Logan kids make a plan of their own to try to shut down Alex.

ACT3

Intrigue: Will the Logan family home and family survive?

Mystery: Why can’t Claire get a hold of anyone in the family?

Superior Position: The audience knows Alex’s moves before the Logans.

Mystery: How will Claire get back home?

ACT4

Intrigue: Will the family be able to take down Alex?

Superior Position: The audience knows that Alex is still alive and headed to her creator’s home.

Intrigue: How will the engineer that created Alex react to seeing her in his home?

Hidden Agenda: Alex’s creator knows that AI like Alex is a threat to humanity and plans to destroy her.

Cover Up: Alex’s “death” is hidden.

Superior Position: The audience discovers that one of the new neighbors is an AI.

[Pat Fitzgerald]

Pat Fitzgerald’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: I have the courage, conviction and talent to write contest winning screenplays and will go on to have my scripts optioned and produced.

What I learned: I thought it would be difficult to discover any intrigue, etc. into a dramedy, only to discover that I had some of these techniques woven into the plot all along. And in delving further into my outline, I can see where I have room to move more techniques into the plot.

Act One:

Intrigue: Why does Jaki so easily switch her bland clown act into a raunchy, almost strip dance?

Intrigue: Were Ajax and Jaki acquainted in the past?

Intrigue: What is the relationship between Jaki and Rochelle?

Intrigue: Why is Rochelle’s toddler daughter at her place of work and not in daycare?

Act Two:

Scheme: Jaki searches Ajax’s room at the assisted living home, hoping to learn more about his financial situation.

Superior Position: The audience will know that toddler Lilly took Ajax’s watch and hid it in Rochelle’s desk.

Covert Agenda: Rochelle lies to Jaki about having to quit giving dance lessons to the ladies in assisted living because she needs someone to babysit Lilly.

Scheme: As a means to continue giving her dance lessons Jaki calls a local TV station to publicize the popularity of her classes among the assisted living ladies.

Covert Agenda: Rochelle lies to Ajax, warns him that her mother may have been the person who stole his watch.

Conspiracy: Ajax’s son forbids Ajax to go on a date with Jaki.

Act Three:

Superior Position: Ajax snoops in Rochelle’s office and learns she’s deep in debt.

Secret: Ajax finds his watch in Rochelle’s desk be decides to not say a word about it.

Intrigue: Why does Ajax leave the assisted living home?

Superior Position: The audience will know that Ajax was in an accident that left him unconscious and was taken to the hospital.

Act 4:

Cover up: When Ajax shows up at Jaki’s house, he asks her to not tell his son where he is.

Superior Position: Rochelle overhears Ajax’s request to keep his location a secret, but she phones Ajax’s son to tell him where Ajax is.

Covert Agenda: Rochelle is afraid that if Jaki establishes a relationship with Ajax, she will be left without Jaki’s assistance.

Covert Agenda: Ajax’s son is convinced that Jaki is out for Ajax’s money.

Superior Position: Jaki already knows that Ajax only has his SS money to live on, that his son pays for assisted living.

[Andrew Kelm]

Andrew Kelm’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.

What I learned doing this assignment is… How to frame what happens in the script as intrigue. Without labeling it, it could slip by without providing the benefits.

FATEMONGERS; a psychic with a blind spot for abusive men uses subtle manipulations to murder a sexual predator who seduces her to get to her sons.

Intriguing Moments:

ACT 1:

• Mystery — what is the abuse in Daphne’s past?
• Mystery – What is the contract between mother and daughter about? Mother doesn’t want her there and Daphne clearly would rather not be there. Financial, but there’s more…
• Mystery – when Roy first appears he his running from something
• Intrigue – Roy decides to get a tarot reading for some other reason than he wants his fortune told
• Mystery – man with a clerical collar steps in to get Roy — what is their connection?
• Scheme – Daphne works Terry’s friends for readings at the beach
• Mystery – Man comes for a reading in secret. Who is he and what does he want?
• Covert Agenda — Daphne uses Roy to get out of the apartment above her mother’s store

ACT 2:

• Secret — Roy and Gilbert regularly seduce underaged hitchhikers
• Covert Agenda — Gilbert is interested in Daphne’s boys
• Conspiracy – Gilbert tries to bring Roy into a plan to seduce the boys. Roy refuses.
• Scheme – Gilbert sends a bad client to Daphne to hurt her reputation, and use as an excuse to get rid of her.
• Scheme – Daphne works her mother to get the down payment for their house.
• Scheme – Daphne takes out an insurance policy on Roy’s life for the mortgage of the house

ACT 3:

• Covert Agenda – Daphne dresses up her new office to make herself look more legitimate
• Scheme – Gilbert tempts Roy back into their old ways picking up hitchhikers
• Secret – Daphne discloses the truth of her past abuse to Roy
• Covert Agenda — Detective tries to find evidence of Daphne behaving improperly as a therapist
• Scheme – Daphne grooms he politician client to stick up for her.
• Secret – Roy gets a boyfriend

ACT 4:

• Covert agenda: Abe tells his mom about suspicious behaviour between his brother and Roy to incriminate Roy
• Scheme: Daphne uses new relationship with Steve to get rid of Roy and Steve
• Scheme: Daphne engineers it so that Trent has to provide an alibi for her to the police.
• Scheme: Gilbert tries to incriminate Daphne in Roy’s death
• Cover up: Daphne lets Gilbert know that she can ruin him by exposing his activities with teenaged boys

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Intriguing Moments

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… That intriguing moments can fit into any genre–and that they should also stay appropriate to the genre, without forcing in a certain type of intriguing moment because it seems like you should. This assignment was very helpful in getting down into the story and taking it to the next level. I could not find much opportunity to turn drama into intrigue, but it doesn’t hurt that there is no shortage of intriguing moments already.

ACT 1

Mystery: Who is Penny calling for in the kitchen, and why is she roaming the kitchen by herself?

Mystery/or Intrigue: How did Mara escape and end up in the alley too?

ACT 2

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Intrigue: Penny seems to have deliberately chosen the mall to go into, even though it is more than removed from the danger (menacing man?) on the street–why?

Covert agenda: Penny seems to have no intention of leaving the mall, as well as intending to dictate to Mara.

Scheme: Sarah’s parents are manipulating her simply because they seem to want grandchildren. Withholding a trust fund from her until she has not one but two kids.

Superior position: Sarah seems to be on to Penny and Mara.

Superior position: Regarding Daphne’s fears and wondering, Penny and Mara are in the mall!

(Or Act 3) Superior position: Penny and Mara do not know it, but the two children that Sarah “needs” must be natural-born children. (Or maybe not–this is still open.)

Secret: Sarah won’t tell her fiancé why she is resisting having children. (Or alternatively she could be suddenly pressuring him about having kids and then inexplicably reversing herself.)

ACT 3

Suspense: Is Penny going to stay with Amanda (and give up on finding Mara)??

Covert agenda: Is there a reason why Amanda won’t just go about things the right way and seek to take care of Penny in a legal way?

Superior position: Sarah can’t or won’t tell her fiancé that she doesn’t want natural children of her own and that is why she splits from him. And actually, the audience probably knows more than Sarah herself does that she wants Penny and Mara in her life over any other children!

ACT 4

Covert agenda: Is Daphne separating Penny and Mara for a reason other than just punishment?

Superior position: Sarah and fiancé don’t know that neither Mara nor Penny are going to be adopted by the current couple.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Superior position: Mara doesn’t know that Sarah and fiancé are outside the orphanage.

(Or Act 3) <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Superior position: Finally, the audience knows that Daphne has never wanted Penny to leave the orphanage, has been “hiding” her profile or discriminating against prospective parents.

Suspense: Because
of Mara bonding with Jess, will she and Penny go their separate ways? Will Mara break her pact with Penny by being
adopted?

[Eclipse Neilson]

Eclipse Neilson Intriguing Moments

1. VISION: I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my new genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place.

2. What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment is intrigue and mystery comes to me a bit naturally. And I know more will be revealed as I write.

THE NUN AND THE WITCH

ACT 1

Intrigue: The Council of the Universe has sent two souls back to earth who have had a history of tragic lifetimes together. The quest is can they break that pattern this lifetime?

Mystery / intrigue the time tunnel.

Secret: The Old One is a secret guide and will set off a series of circumstances for Sister anne and Lunea to accomplish their life mission.

Covert agenda: The Old One secretly watches from afar as the two begin to bond in this life time.

Hidden identity: The Old One is an ancient Star Being

Conspiracy:

Scheme: Lunea and Sister Anne try to change the heart and minds of the villagers and congregation.

Superior position: The Old One is one of the Council of Universal beings but sister Anne and Lunea do not know it.

Cover up: Sister Anne hides her friendship with Lunea

Mystery: Father Sinclair begins to talk to Anne about her leadership and later haunts her to mold her into becoming the church preacher under his ghostly command.

Mystery: The spirit of Jesus stands next to Lunea the Witch more than once encouraging Sister Anne to her befriend her.

Mystery: The sign of goddess flame on the stained glass window on Mary while Sister Anne is praying.

ACT 2

Intrigue: Sister Anne grabs the sword from the Jesus statue’s feet and raises it as a sign of her newborn power to the congregation

The church glass windows are part of the puzzle being revealed.

Secret:

Covert agenda: Lunea wants to free Sister Anne from her shame and submissive behavior.

Hidden identity: Athena begins to reveal her purpose in this life time and it is confirmed by Lunea .

Conspiracy:

Scheme:

Superior position: The audience knows that Athena has traveled many lifetimes with these two and has suffered great loss in past lifetimes. Will this happen again?

Cover up: Lunea and Sister Anne begin to secretly work together in the church and perform an ancient ceremony.

ACT 3:

Intrigue: The church glass windows are part of the puzzle being revealed.

Secret: Sister Anne is falling in love with Lunea. But Lunea struggles with her feelings knowing she must carry out her mission.

Covert agenda: Lunea and the Old One must continue to help free Sister Anne t become a leader that makes a difference

Hidden identity: Conspiracy: The Old One is one of the counsel of universal beings. Athena is the goddess embodied by a young girl and orphan of war.

Scheme: To return the goddess healing power to humanity

ACT 4

The mission is accomplished, and the congregation realizes what their discrimination has done after the tragedy occurs.

(The reveal) is that Athena is the goddess returned we see the symbol in the future as she has become the church preacher.

(The Mystery) is solved with the flames and sword returned to the proper place. And Sister Anne and Lunea’s flame unite once again- .

[Caroline Fritz]

[WIM] Caroline’s Intriguing Moments

My Vision: I will perfect my process of writing great scripts and be recognized by the industry as good at what I do and have successful movies produced.

What I learned: I thought that this would be difficult but an action story has a lot intriguing moments built in.

Act 1

Secret: Callahan is a secret, bad-ass spy posing as a pencil pusher.

Covert agenda: Aaron is working for the kidnappers to lure Callahan to his death!

Act 2

Hidden identity: Callahan approaches the CIA as the pencil pusher he pretends to be.

Scheme: Callahan plots to lead the CIA right to the kidnapper’s door.

Act 3

Superior position: We see that Aaron is working with the kidnapper but Callahan doesn’t know.

Conspiracy: Aaron and the kidnapper have concocted this plan to kill Callahan.

Act 4

Intrigue: Seeing all the damage that Aaron has caused.

Mystery: Where did the arms dealer/kidnapper go? Where will he turn up next? What devious plot is he cooking up?

[Bobby Sacher]

Bobby’s Intriguing Moments

What I learned doing this assignment is… I don’t have any real intrigue in Act 4! Very easy to make that “final battle” too straightforward. Need a twist/an unseen plan by the protagonist and friends, so the audience can feel things are doomed, and be surprised by the victory.

MY VISION: A writing life that is mine to do with as I please. Independently wealthy, always creatively engaged, sought after, and utterly fulfilled.

ACT I

HIDDEN IDENTITY: The killer chasing Matty and Molly through the woods turns out to be JASON, who kills Matty, and saves a grateful Molly.

MYSTERY: Why is Jason so afraid to serve “Table 12”?

INTRIGUE: Molly and Matty are part of that table. What is the history between the 3 of them?

MYSTERY: Jason’s dad says he’s glad Jason’s mom isn’t alive to see what he’s turned into. What happened to Jason’s mom?

ACT II

INTRIGUE: What is the blue tinge to the water? What goes on at that military base?

MYSTERY: Who dug up the graves?

COVERT AGENDA: Hack listens in on private conversations of the group? (this is way too vague – need to figure out who this group IS)

MYSTERY: What is the significance of “3Ms Forever”?

HIDDEN IDENTITY/SUPERIOR POSITION: Jason is brought into the cabin, and mocked for being a lame-ass, playing “knights” in the forest. WE know he came here to kill them.

COVER-UP: Jason pretends he was there to do a cosplay with friends, but they didn’t show.

ACT III

CONSPIRACY: Matty pulls Alan aside, tells him to keep an eye on Hack. Tells him to keep an eye on MOLLY as well, and make sure Hack leaves her alone.

COVERT AGENDA: Hack quizzes Jason on each weapon pulled out (supposedly for role-playing D&D) – then pulls out a gun and mask, revealing Jason’s lie!

SCHEME: Hack pockets bullets from gun, rendering it useless. Then, later, pockets the “useless” gun.

COVERT AGENDA/HIDDEN IDENTITY: Hack lets zombies in through pipe in basement – bites a zombie himself and eats its flesh, to turn into a zombie.

ACT IV

SUPERIOR POSITION: As group fills stairwell with furniture, and feels safe at the top level, Hack opens servants’ passage in the kitchen below, to let zombies up.

SCHEME: There has to be SOME clever way that Matty and Molly and Jason work together to set Hack up, to defeat him on the roof. NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS….

UNSOLVABLE PROBLEM: As survivors escape into the woods, with zombies coming behind them, they reach the graveyard to find MORE zombies erupting from graves. There is NO WAY OUT… (then CONFEDERATE zombie soldiers attack the Union soldiers they’ve been fighting all along, and the group sneaks away in the chaos…)

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Intriguing Moments!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to easily flip an average drama scene into intrigue.

ACT 1:

Mystery: Why is Joaquin and his family being summoned to headquarters by the drug lord?

Covert Agenda: Joaquin wants his family to keep their heads down and if something happens to him to disappear. He gives them the plan.

Hidden Identity: Joaquin is unaware that he is going to enter the competition, win and become drug lord.

Intrigue: There is something more to Arturo and Camila, but we don’t know what it is.

Scheme: Arturo is stalking Joaquin and his family, trying to push him into the competition.

Mystery: What happened to his father?

Superior Position: Put nails in stairs leading into their house to catch who is peeping on them.

Mystery: Why is Joaquin sensitive when Tomas brings up his father?

Cover Up: Joaquin blows up a competitor’s drug lab, concealing that he/his cartel is behind it.

ACT 2:

Covert Agenda: Arturo befriends Joaquin to keep his enemy close.

Intrigue: Dante clams up when Joaquin walks into places. He is buying off his competitors and afraid Joaquin will tell Rodrigo.

Scheme: Joaquin gets Dante to bring him into his confidence about his scheme.

Cover Up: Since it benefits him, Joaquin keeps Dante’s secret from Rodrigo.

Secret: Camila hides her past relationship with Arturo.

Conspiracy/Scheme: Arturo conspires to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries and kill a man.

ACT 3:

Cover Agenda: Arturo tries to win Camila back by showing her that her husband is no better morally.

Scheme: Arturo feeds Joaquin more reason to believe Dante is the one after his family.

Hidden Identity: Joaquin follows Luis, murders him and others.

Conspiracy: Dante offers Joaquin a high position in his organization if he drops out of the competition.

Intrigue: What is Maritza going to do to try to stop the cartel?

Conspiracy: Arturo conspires to have Joaquin killed.

Superior Position/Cover Up: Joaquin makes Dante think he’s accepting his offer.

Mystery: What is Joaquin’s plan and where is he going?

ACT 4:

Secret: Joaquin travels the tunnels to US.

Intrigue: Joaquin makes a deal with the smugglers, but what is her really doing?

Covert Agenda/Scheme/Cover Up: Camila makes a deal with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath if he wins, which it looks like he’s going to do.

Superior Position: The competition is ending early because Rodrigo is dying and Joaquin doesn’t know.

Intrigue: Why is the director of border patrol meeting with Joaquin?

Mystery: How did Joaquin get out of the detention center? Will he make it back in time?

Covert Agenda: Arturo tells Camila her husband is dead to get her to fall for him again, and he intends to kill him as soon as his team finds him.

Hidden Identity: Joaquin announced as the winner and new drug lord.

Covert Agenda: Joaquin cleans house of the top leadership.

Secret: Maritza is alive.

[Terrie Shaft]

Terrie’s Intriguing Moments

I write screenplays that get turned into crowd pleasing successful films using a process that allows me to enjoy my equestrian hobby.

What I learned from this assignment is that I had some intriguing moments but needed to move things to spread them across the acts.

ACT 1

Mystery –James is chased by US Marshals

Hidden Identify – James handcuffs are removed, he’s a witness refusing to attend a pre trial conference

Conspiracy – James accuses all the Marshals of being part of different conspiracies

Intrigue – As James is escorted out of the building shots are fired.

Mystery – James demands that Paige head his protection detail

Hidden identify – when Paige enters the room to meet James, she recognizes him as Jason but keeps it to herself.

Act 2:

Secret/ Superior Position – Paige and James talk alone and agree no one can know about their past relationship

Conspiracy – Paige and James/Jason are shot at when they move locations. Someone has betrayed their location.

Cover up – Paige lies to the Marshal’s about where she is taking James

Act 3:

Scheme – Paige and James/Jason concoct a plan to hide out.

Secret – Paige and James/Jason hide out at the farm of the retired sheriff

Scheme – Paige uses information traps to sort out who is double crossing them

Act 4:

Intrigue – who double crossed them?

Hidden identity/Covert agenda – a Marshal has been double crossing them, is a member of the group James/Jason is testifying against.

Mystery – Paige sets up the double crosser and reveals their identify to the entire Marshal team

Mystery – find out why the double crosser turned on Paige and James/Jason

[Gisele FRAZEUR]

Gisele Frazeur’s Intriguing Moments

My vision: I am going to work diligently to become a brilliant, reliable screenwriter who is sought after, regularly produced, highly paid, and awarded. Artistic fulfillment and financial freedom will result from the achievement of this goal!

What I learned doing this assignment is: I had a lot of intrigue buried in my script already.

Title: On the Scent

Genre: Thriller

ACT 1:

Covert Agenda / Superior Agenda

The human toe is placed in the meatball. It is handed to Livie at the reception- – and another person consumes it.

Intrigue: Why is someone trying to make Livie choke?

ACT 2:

Scheme / Conspiracy

Hank insists on Darin drinking alcohol to calm her nerves – – knowing she is a recovering alcoholic.

Intrigue: Why is Hank plying a recovering alcoholic – – whom he seems to care deeply for – – with alcohol?

ACT 3:

Covert Agenda

Darin seduces Hank after swearing him off.

Intrigue: Why is she sleeping with the man she suspects of Livie’s murder?

ACT 4:

Mystery

Pookie goes bonkers when Darin sprays her violet perfume?

Intrigue: What has Pookie been trying to communicate?

[Jacqueline Murphy]

Jacqueline Murphy Intriguing Moments Mod 4 Les 8August 18, 2022

VISION: To empower myself to go for my dreams to be a great writer, actress and filmmaker who is “Admired”, recognized and sought after by the industry and has many successful TV & Film projects produced that make a difference and inspire others to go for their dreams.

What I learned from doing this assignment was adding in the intrigue increases the drama, intensity and hooks the audience even further. I’ll let this settle, go back in with a fresh eye and add more.

Start this assignment by empowering yourself using our State-To-Activity empowerment process. State: I am great at…Activity: …discovering and creating intriguing moments!

ACT 1

Drama: Olivia’s mom passes gifting her a kaleidoscope belonging to the father she never knew

O Hidden Identity: Z & A keep O’s “hidden magical ability”, who her father was: Old Hollywood Dimension Creator(OHD) and her true purpose from her which is to be “Ruler of the Throne”

O Secret: She needs to succeed as an actress to fill the void of her parents being gone.

Scheme: Z travels from OHD to Real world to “steal” Olivia’s power and the kaleidoscope so he can be the Ruler of the OHD

Covert Agenda: Z doesn’t want O or A to “know” the death of her mom has opened up the portal and he has only a short time steal Olivia’s power and to Ascend the Throne

Hidden Identity: Z pretends to be a Producer/Sorcerer wanting to help O but he’s really been “Banished” from OHD & O’s his ticket back

Secret: Z falls for Olivia and plays at seducing her but he’s the one that’ll be hurt in the end.

Mystery: We wonder why there’s such “chemistry” between O, Z &A (their siblings)

Angelica Covert: Doesn’t want anyone to know she’s an angel who left the OHD because she is transgender and wants to be in the modern world where she’ll be accepted for who she is and not be assigned to the OHD Angel role.

Secret: Angelica is romantically in love with Olivia and keeps it from her as Olivia has a boyfriend Billy and is interested in me. Angelica is also and “angel” sent from the OHD to “look after Olivia” but betrays the Goddess never telling O she is “the one” the true Ruler of OHD

Superior position: The audience begins to sense things O, A & Z don’t know

ACT 2

O COVER UP: Olivia “plays” along to keep her stardom charming the powerful men but she wants their power.

Secret: Olivia ventures out into the OHD to find her father’s grave at the cemetery.

Hidden Identity: O meets a powerful Goddess hiding as a homeless person. Wanda tells O that she has magic talents and that her father was the OHD creator and O is the next ruler.

Cover UP: Not believing and wanting to commit to being the next Ruler , O practices her magic and sees it’s getting stronger but still wants Stardom.

MYSTERY: Why can’t Olivia’s dad appear to her?

Scheme: Wanda, Z and A are rivals & want to control Olivia for their own desire for power, love and influence over the

Conspiracy: W, Z, A: Agree on one thing: Keep Olivia in OHD so their powers can be fully actualized

Cover Up/Scheme: Angelica sees the danger O is in and uses O’s niece Norma’s drug use to get O to sacrifice fame and go back to the real world.

Secret: Angelica wants to be with O and reveal who she is-“her angel’ in love with her and wanting O to love her too. Angelica keeps her “weakness” from Z and Wanda.

ACT 3

Hidden Identity O: her magical powers get stronger

Mystery: Enraged by Z’s refusal to time travel her back to the Real world to help Norma, O’s power is released and she time travels herself. Why did this happen now?

Secret: Olivia feels like a failure for not “mastering” the OHD and thinks maybe it’s best for her to stay in the Real World because Stardom isn’t all she thought it’d be. Embarrassed she wants to give up her “dream”

Turning Point: Hidden Identity: O’s real father appears when a Soul searching O goes back to the cemetery hurt Norma disrespecting her and both are now competitors for an Oscar.

Secret: O’s dad reveals he’s under a spell, she must help him and rule the OHD he created.

Mystery: Why must O be the ruler, she’s a gal from the Real world.

ACT 4

Drama into Intrigue: The storm magnetizes O’s power as the portal is about to close.

Hidden Identity O: her magical powers get stronger-She’s Transforming into the RULER of OHD

Covert Agenda: O sabotages them all refusing stating she’s had enough of being manipulates and her real dream is to be a star not to be stuck in this crazy dimension.

INTRIGUE: The kaleidoscope projects a Prism of images to Olivia of her past with her parents in OHD confusing her as to where she belongs

Covert Agenda: O goes to her father’s grave one more time before leaving OHD when a bolt hits the tombstone and he appears to change her mind

Mystery: Why Olivia, who is she really, where is her father? What is this crazy dimension? Is there a chance O is the ruler? Why?

Secret: The Kingdom must be won before the portal closes.

Covert Agenda Z: Now is the time for him to win the Kingdom but Wanda and Angelica think the same way. O has no idea of the stakes

Superior Position: Audience has “hints” of power struggle in OHD

Scheme: Z challenges O to a magic duel to beat the clock

Drama into Intrigue: O grabs the Kaleidoscope the PRISM lifts her off the ground. O can sees good and evil play out and her purpose is BALANCE, Empowering her, she sees she has to be with her whole family, shift the evil energetics and reclaim her position-Ascender of the Throne-Sorceress of Hollywood.

IRONY/ INTRIGUE: Lightning further empowers O, she is the true Ruler and wins the duel as O’s dad and the GOLDEN LADY-her mom appears along with Z, A and Wanda. The parents reveal they are ALL Siblings! But O has the dominant “balance” gene to rule and is given the crown as the kingdom surrounds her.

[Jane Turville]

Jane’s Intriguing Moments

MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.

By doing this assignment I discovered that, while there is a lot of intrigue already built into the story and into each act, my two main characters don’t have too much, particularly June. I need to make sure that she has some intriguing layers that are played against each other and are throughout the story.

Genre: Parody of Tea Cozy Murder Mystery

Title: NOT A CLUE!

Act 1:

Intrigue: Something seems fishy at Shady Acres; someone has gone through June’s things right off the bat. Why?

Covert agenda: Percival is there to keep him from harm – his life has been threatened.

Hidden identity: All of the residents are not who they appear to be.

Act 2:

Intrigue: More intrigue as layers fall away from Eloise and Major Perkins.

Secret: It becomes clear that Percival has a secret.

Conspiracy: Anne, the head of Shady Acres does not want police around the place investigating the murder.

Mystery: Who killed Frances and why?

Act 3:

Covert agenda: The agenda behind Shady Acres in revealed – it’s a house operated by the mob.

Hidden identity: Mattie may not be the whole young thing that she appears to be!

Conspiracy: June conspires with Major Perkins, Mary Riddle and the Countess to catch the killer.

Scheme: June puts her scheme into action.

Mystery: Who set June and Percival up at the ice house and which one of them is the killer after?

Act 4:

Secret: June and Percival keep the secrets they’ve discovered about the others.

Covert agenda: Shady Acres agenda is revealed.

Hidden identity: Percival is revealed as Aunty Lily; Mattie is revealed as the murderer.

Mystery: The reason for Frances’ murder is resolved.

[Kristin Donnan]

KRISTIN’S INTRIGUING MOMENTS

VISION: “I want the personal, professional, and financial freedom and joy that come from writing so well that I’m in demand, selling beyond my wildest dreams, and making worthy projects—on a big scale and with my active, collegial participation.”

CONCEPT: REX APPEAL / Comedy — The true story of a small-town paleontologist who sues the government after the feds seize his T. rex, the largest in the world.

WHAT I LEARNED in this assignment: That there were some untapped opportunities in what I’d already laid in… and that sometimes I could make an entirely new beat from a rather bland concept.

ACT 1

Intrigue + Superior position + Covert Action — Slick Willy slides past Pete and his crew—on the way to visit the landowner they just left. Why is he doing that? Also, we know and Pete doesn’t.

Scheme + Mystery — Seizure of the fossil. What’s happening? Why?

Intrigue + (positive spin on) Scheme — When Bronc arrives to help Pete, he’s trying to sort out what happened, but also to keep his client from saying too much before he knows the scope of the situation.

Covert Agendas — Slick Willy stages the press conference AND when he arrives later with the National Guard AND when he secretly meets with the judge.

ACT 2

Covert Agenda + Scheme — Slick Willy freaks out behind closed doors and admits to his #2 that he’s out of his element. #2 agrees to help.

Scheme + Conspiracy + Cover up — Slick Willy and his agents agree to spread fake news, knowing that Pete is not guilty.

Scheme — Slick Willy announces that an investigation is underway.

Intrigue? Mystery? — Bronc assesses Pete’s actual culpability. It’s like they are conspiring, but not really… assessing, examining, investigating…

Secret — Charlie and Pete discover that one of his colleagues has committed a crime.

Covert Agenda + Scheme — Slick Willy’s indictments are part of his personal agenda to get promoted.

ACT 3

Scheme (positive version) — Bronc and Pete plan their defense.

Covert Agenda + Scheme + Conspiracy — Slick Willy sends his team out to investigate the fossil sites—and to lie if necessary.

Secret — Pete doesn’t know what to do with the information he has on his colleague.

Covert Agenda — Slick Willy is excited when the defendants freak out and splinter. He might win after all.

ACT 4

Scheme — Charlie follows the “bad colleague”—only to discover that (Conspiracy) she is meeting with Slick Willy!

Secret + (possible) Conspiracy — The judge and the “cute juror” go play golf.

Covert agenda (falling apart) — Slick Willy flails during trial.

Scheme — Bronc lays out the defense in a genius way during trial.

Covert agendas + Conspiracies — The judge’s rulings are part of his partnership with Slick Willy, as are his crazy sentence.

Covert Agenda — Slick Willy leaked the plea bargain.

[Hope McPherson]

Hope’s intriguing moments

Vision: To be a working, trusted screenwriter who supports herself by writing smart films that are produced and enjoyed, while also working on writing assignments for other industry professionals.

What I learned: It’s horrible getting behind. But looking for the intriguing moments does give one a chance to ramp up the interest in the scenes.

Act 1

Mystery: Fictional characters plot to mutiny and escape the pages of the manuscript.

Conspiracy: The antagonist and other characters plot to give the author a taste of her own medicine (i.e., ceaseless editing of her life).

Scheme: Prof. Vanderburg hatches a plan to sabotage Marta to prevent her from getting tenure. He manipulates her fiancé, targeting her fiancé’s gambling addiction.

Suspense: Cyrus tells her that he and some of the other characters are sick of her playing god with their lives. He gives her a choice: prepare to be edited – or make him the hero of her manuscript.

Act 2

Mystery: Marta pull up her manuscript on her laptop and discovers Cyrus is no longer in the pages! She’s is convinced this is a scam.

Intrigue: The dean observes Marta class, but Cyrus takes over and discusses Bronte’s characters as though he knows them personally.

David disappears, and Marta can’t reach David via cell. She discovers David has been written into the pages. Cyrus says he put David into the manuscript!

Act 3

Covert agenda: Marta now believes, and she’s terrified to edit – or write –anything with David in the book. Cyrus threatens to delete David for good if she doesn’t make him the hero of her book.

Coverup: David isn’t really in the book; he’s on a gambling binge. Cyrus uses this to his advantage.

Scheme: Andrew reports Marta’s odd behavior to dean, ostensibly to get her help, but really to sabotage her career.

Coverup: Andrew must keep the dean’s eyes off him in order for his essays-for-cash scheme to stay in business. He makes Marta look like a crazy idiot.

Coverup: David returns from the poker game after losing BIG. Marta thinks Cyrus turned him into a human again! David goes along with that lie to hide that he lost it all gambling. Then Marta sees the David-rabbit! Now she knows that David and Cyrus have been lying to her.

Act 4

Superior position: Marta visits a new wedding venue; not until she tries to book it does she discover David gambled away $35K for their wedding. She ends engagement and kicks him out.

Intrigue: Days later, Marta is out shopping and she sees a poster for an upcoming small-town play – with “Cyrus” in the lead.

[Kevin Patrick Goulet]

WIM Module 4, Lesson 8 – 8.27.22

Lesson 8: Depth – Intriguing Moments

Kevin Patrick Goulet’s – Intriguing Moments

My vision: Develop a career-making screenplay writing method.
What I learned: Figuring out where intrigue can be added will serve to elevate the story and better hold/invite further interest from the reader too.

FINDING DOCTOR FUNK

ASSIGNMENT

2. Give us a one-sentence explanation of intriguing moments in each Act of your project.

ACT 1

SCHEME: Vince’s Father Vincent shows up late (and drunk) to his Son’s 5th birthday party and offers a dirty brick layer’s trowel -wrapped in a brown paper bag- as a gift.

SCHEME: At the H.S. Talent show, a rival student musician locks Vince out of the back of the auditorium just before Vince’s turn to compete for the top prize in the contest.

MYSTERY: TV Producer Lee Mendelson arrives at Jazz Club in search of this ‘Vince Guaraldi’ whom he is about to offer the chance to score the new PEANUTS animated tv show.

ACT 2

COVER UP: Vince cannot read sheet music (!); when he ‘guest’ plays with a band at one of the Jazz Clubs he is ostracized (even though he can learn any composition from hearing it one time).

HIDDEN AGENDA: Vince has his ‘on-the-sly-GirlFriend’ Gretchen Katamay appear with Vince on the cover of his new 1964 record album “The Latin Side of Vince Guaraldi” -and suddenly the secretive ‘relationship’ is no longer so secret.

COVERT/AGENDA: In prep for his future as a band leader of his own, Vince -while playing with Cal Tjader’s Band- begins diverting from the expected; soloing new material of his own, thus upstaging Cal and the rest of his ‘Tjader’s Raiders’ band.

ACT3

COVERT/AGENDA: Old friend and S.F. Chronicle Jazz enthusiast Ralph Gleason invites Vince and the VG “Trio’ to appear on his JAZZ CASUAL television show -along with Bola Sete, but then makes Bola the Headliner of the show- not Vince Guaraldi and his new Trio.

COVER UP: Vince and Drummer Jerry Granelli purchase new Porsche 356 C sports cars… and also rent a secret airport hanger to keep the cars hidden from prying eyes… like wives, significant others, the press.

COVERT/AGENDA: CBS- at complete odds with the finished production of/upcoming airing of ‘A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS’- plan to put off ‘payment for service rendered’ to Guaraldi and the PEANUTS production team, due to expected poor reception (failure/flop) of upcoming ‘A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS’ animated show.

COVER UP/SUPERIOR POSITION: Fantasy Records Weiss Bros. Soul and Max have been duping Vince/other members of his band (other bands too) and taking far more of the profit from all record sales (keeping 90% from Guaraldi and his Trio!) – resulting in a major lawsuit and eventual shuttering of the Fantasy Label.

ACT4

SCHEME: Vince’s Father Vincent takes a very young Vince on an all-day excursion (visitation), trying to better the poor ”bond’ with his son, but purposefully does not communicate his plan for ‘extended time with the boy’ to divorced wife Carmella and Grandma ‘Biddy’… strictly for spite, thus sending the family into near hysterics of worry about young Vince.

SECRET/SUPERIOR POSITION: Vince’s wife Shirley files for divorce a second time, and this time completes the deal.

COVER UP: Vince’s poor diet, drinking, lack of rest are all (now) clear, contributing factors to a developing heart condition that -in the end- would be a factor in his death from a heart attack on February 6, 1976.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Kevin Patrick Goulet.

[Peter Symons]

Peter’s Intriguing Moments

I write powerful horror movies that people remember long after they’ve left the theater.

WIL – all the intrigue is beneath the surface.

Title: Meat Wagon

Intriguing moments

ACT 1

Intrigue: Father Diego sees Carlos as the son he never had and wants him to take over the funeral business from him.

Unsolvable problem – Jude, the leader of the MS-13 gang, thinks Carlos ratted them out while he was in prison. But doesn’t believe Carlos that he got out on good behavior. Jude thinks he disrespected his gang has given the ‘green light’ for the gang to kill his wife and baby. So, they keep running. But Jude always finds them. The only way he can prevent his worst nightmare is by taking a lethal dose of tainted drugs and kill himself first. Carlos knows Jude will stand by his word and not touch his family if he commits suicide.

Secret – Carlos Ramirez used to be known as The Scorpion when he ran with MS-13. He got that nick name because he decapitated his victims with a poisoned, razor-sharp machete. He was feared in both the Texas and Mexican gangs for his ferocity. After serving time, he is released into the custody of Father Diego. Dani, his wife doesn’t know how violent he used to be. When she tells him that she’s pregnant with their second child, Carlos loses it. He doesn’t feel worthy of being a father or a husband. So, he hides it by pushing her away.

Covert Agenda: While praying for Carlos’s protection, Father Carlos says an arcane invocation in Latin over him and then crosses himself upside down!

Irony/Intrigue – Carlos pushes away the very people – Father Diego and Dani – who love him and are trying to help him and turns to the Saint of Death – Santa Muerte – in exchange for her protection over his family. Problem is he must give her his soul in the bargain.

ACT II

Mystery – Carlos apparently flatlines from the drug overdose. Yet Father Diego brings him back. Carlos sees a vision of a dead man standing in the middle of the road.

Conspiracy: Jude and the gang launch a preemptive attack on Carlos’s house and try to kill Dani and Alejandro while they are asleep. They burn the house down, but Carlos saves them and kills several of his former associates.

Secret: Carlos looks around the funeral home and sees a picture of the men next to different hearses dating back to the horse drawn funeral carriage days. Father Diego says his family has been in the “planting stiffs” business for generations.

Scheme/Hidden Identity: We watch as Father Diego, who is also the local undertaker prepares a body for burial, except we haven’t seen anything like the bizarre ritual he performs on the corpse. Who is Father Diego really? Whose body, is it?

ACT III

Mystery: Carlos wakes up again in the Meat Wagon. This time he doesn’t know if he’s hallucinating or really driving the beast. He hears Santa Muerte again. She’s in control. He wonders if he’s possessed.

Intrigue: Carlos sees the dead who have ridden in the Meat Wagon standing like silent sentinels along the side of the highway.

Secret: Even though he loves his wife, Carlos doesn’t tell Dani all the bizarre shit he’s experiencing. But when he calls her cell, she’s hysterical and asks why won’t he leave her alone? When he asks her what she means, the signal is lost.

ACT IV

Intrigue: Jude gives chase to the Meat Wagon driven by Carlos – but when he pulls up beside the vintage hearse, there’s no driver!

Covert Agenda: Father Diego is the only one who can get through on Carlos’s cell. The signal is weak, but we can hear him clearly. He relays what Carlos already knows: he’s dead and Santa Muerte is taking his soul to Hell just like the bargain he made. Fr. Diego says, “may God have mercy on your soul my son.”

Superior position: Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was his. His ghost watches as Father Diego, a necromancer, as he places a HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image into his mouth and sews his lips shut to pay the price for sending his soul to Hell in the Meat Wagon. He then removes his scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative. We pan around the morgue and notices hundreds of tattoos removed postmortem and mounted and framed like trophies on the walls. When he cleans up, the old priest removes the rubber gloves and apron he wears and then changes his shirt. In a mirror, we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest!

Coverup: Though Carlos is dead and about to be interred, Fr. Diego raises him from the dead. Just as someone did for him over a century ago. A servant of Santa Muerte standing between the damned and the Gates of Hell.

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Vision: I will write everyday producing not only high volume but high quality scripts that will ultimately be made into popular movies and television shows.

What I learned doing this assignment is that if I can pack my script with intriguing moments (instead of front- or back loading it) it is going to be better.

ACT 1

Intrigue – who/why is her co-worker whispering in Dacey’s ear? Why do her husbands lips move when he says different words (then her ears buzz)

Secret –

Covert agenda – Dacey’s husband is looking to get rid of her

Hidden identity – Dacey’s husband is not the perfect husband he appears to be, Dacey is not the perfect nurse she appears to be or the perfect mother

Conspiracy – is her husband going away for some reason? To catch her doing something?

Scheme – Is someone following Tom

Superior position – there was someone looking in the window, Dacey does not see the footprints

Cover up

Mystery – Who killed Tom? Why is Dacey lying?

ACT 2

Intrigue – Is Dacey losing it or she being drugged? Why does she see slippers? Is Tom really a ghost or a hallucination like the blood?

Secret – Dacey knows that Tom was killed in her house, but doesn’t tell anyone

Covert agenda – Dacey is keeping what she knows about Tom’s murder a secret because she can’t admit what she does know since it makes her look crazy

Hidden identity – does Dacey know her husband’s girlfriend? They are friends? She confides in her and she tells husband? YES!

Conspiracy – maybe she takes kids? This is something to think about…Lana is also in on it as she helps little ones pack

Scheme – husband has Dacey go to restaurant and then doesn’t show up, steal kids

Superior position – Girlfriend and husband are in bed when he calls Dacey

Cover up – Dacey lies to police

Mystery – Did Dacey kill Tom? Witness it?

Act 3

Intrigue – Dacey is “in hospital” but then she is standing at locker, when someone calls her name it is a little off, and then when she turns, she is a totally different person!

Secret – Christina steals Darcey’s keys when she asks for a hug

Covert agenda – Shyanne wants to escape and is using Christina to do so, then she just dumps her

Hidden identity – Dacey is revealed to be Christina, a patient in hospital

Conspiracy – When Darcey comes in Shyanne is whispering to her about giving Darcey a long hug and taking her keys.

Scheme

Superior position –

Cover up

Mystery

Act 4

Intrigue – 3 people have escaped from a mental hospital

Secret

Covert agenda – Christina is there (at Darcey’s house) to claim her life as Dacey

Hidden identity- when Christina first walks to door it appears it might be Darcey

Conspiracy

Scheme

Superior position-audience knows there are no children and that Christina is not going to see her fantasy life

Cover up

Mystery

[Nat Melvin]

M4 LESSON 8: Natalie’s Intriguing Moments

My vision is to create and produce award winning stories that make an unforgettable emotional impact on a worldwide audience.

What I learned from this assignment: In Hal’s mastery call 11 he discussed intrigue techniques, and suddenly out of nowhere, a major twist for my story showed up. I absolutely love this new idea which adds unexpected, clever reveal at the end. Lesson learned: Always… ALWAYS listen to Hal’s calls. Amazing!

ACT 1:

Secret: What happened to Emily’s baby after birth?

Mystery: Who killed Hagan’s father and why?

Hidden identity: Walter impersonates black crossdresser woman Cherimoya to get the will

ACT2:

Covert agenda: Emily and Hagan act strangely opposite from expected in front of detective Mike

Secret: Emily confesses to the Phantom her love for the boy she fell in love with as a child – while Walter/Cherimoya eavesdrops their conversation

Scheme: While purging Ayahuasca, Emily tells Cherimoya her vision of Hagan being the leader of the cult

ACT 3:

Secret: Hagan attacks Walter for sleeping with his wife

Mystery: Who makes and collects latex face masks of Emily’s deceased relatives and why?

Scheme: Walter stages sex scene with Emily to hurt and humiliate Hagan

ACT 4:

Mystery: Who has Hunter?

Hidden Identity: Walter impersonates LW to force Emily shoot Hagan

Covert agenda: Emily shoots LW

EPILOGUE:

Intrigue: Emily and Hagan played Walter to make a mistake and reveal his identity publicly

Covert agenda: Emily tears off the will naming her a heir to give Hagan his legacy of being a true heir of the estate

[Valeriya Ordinartseva]

Valeriya’s Intriguing Moments

My Vision: I am a masterful, ahead-of-the-game, and outside-the-box writer full of ideas and creative energy. My writing is fresh, impactful, iconic, beautiful, and effortless. My projects deliver outstanding commercial and artistic success. I am on the leading edge. I create a lot, it’s fun, quick, and easy. My whole life is that way.

I am great at discovering and creating intriguing moments!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

– This is a super cool and easy way to create a story to start with.

– This way it’s easier to see what needs to be set up.

– It’s a relief to see things coming together after they’ve been a mess for a while – there was no need to worry about it.

– Got a few interesting ideas.

7RDRD4: Robots became too human and people start the dehumanization program to get rid of them. Can a girl brought up by a robot prove that she isn’t one before she and her robot get killed?

1

Intrigue

– What is this place where Lo talks to strangers?

– Why her life was not worth trying?

Secret

– A robot brings up a baby.

Covert agenda

– Benedict lets 7 go when he has a chance to kill it.

Hidden identity

– Who is the flying robot? Is 7 a killer?

Conspiracy

– 7 and Lo have a secret about their strange family.

Scheme

– Who needs to get rid of robots and why?

Superior position

– 7 is not a murderer

Cover up

– Lo going to take the test instead of 7.

Mystery

– Is a flying robot real?

2

Intrigue

– Recycling is used for killing people

Secret

– 7 tries to save Lo

Covert agenda

– To persuade the public that the program is perfect

Hidden identity

– Lo pretends the invitation was for her

Conspiracy

– F11 spies for whoever can promise safety

Scheme

– Lie about the murder attempt

Superior position

– Nobody believes Lo is a human and she can’t prove it not to hurt her friend

Cover up

– Nurse’s death is on the robots

Mystery

– Who kills the nurse who knew too much?

3

Intrigue

– Who is who and how many lives they have.

Secret

– They mislead the drones

Covert agenda

– F11 works against them

Hidden identity

– They mix up robots and people.

Conspiracy

– They team up to be smarter and help one another

Scheme

– The game is meant to show how bad robots are and to kill anyone who succeeds.

Superior position

– Another trap is on the other side of the trap.

Cover up

– The audience gets a different story

Mystery

– Who is killing who

4

Intrigue

– Who is going to win this battle and how?

Secret

– Lo is making a record of the conversation (showing two different versions?)

Covert agenda

– To expose what’s going on

Hidden identity

– Benedict is a robot.

Conspiracy

– He sets up their death to make them look guilty.

Scheme

– The two have a plan they act upon for a while.

Superior position

– 7 has no spare lives

Cover up

– Benedict can manipulate public opinion because he is connected to everything.

Mystery

– Benedict took 7’s wings and now lured him out to make him a villain.

BOO WHO HOO: Following her therapist’s advice, a woman asks her “monster-under-the-bed” to come out into the light where she can deal with it… but the monster has other ideas.

1

Intrigue

– Something in the house or so she thinks

Secret

– She refuses to listen but then changes her mind

Covert agenda

– To get her life back

Hidden identity

– Ugly monster is her best friend

Conspiracy

– She makes a deal with the monster

Scheme

– Help her no matter what

Superior position

– No one can imagine how scared she is and how miserable her life is

Cover up

– She hides her personal life

Mystery

– Why she lives like this

2

Intrigue

– Do people die because of Irene?

Secret

– The monster is what makes people feel bad.

Covert agenda

– Monster pushes Irene to enjoy life

Hidden identity

– Happy person living her life to the fullest

Conspiracy

– The monster is attracted by other people’s desires

Scheme

– To help her come to terms with her past

Superior position

– The monster is there when she thinks she got rid of it.

Cover up

– She goes to escape, not because she wanted

Mystery

– Family relationship.

3

Intrigue

– Will he become a victim?

Secret

– The monster helps her

Covert agenda

– To get rid of the monster, pass it on

Hidden identity

– Her being a monster

Conspiracy

– With the monster about the victims

Scheme

– To feed the guy to the monster

Superior position

– The guy is in danger

Cover up

– Painkillers

Mystery

– What the monster wants

4

Intrigue

– How is she going to protect the girl?

Secret

– She created it

Covert agenda

– Save the girl

Hidden identity

– Creator

Conspiracy

– Their initial agreement

Scheme

– Bring her back to life

Superior position

– She is not alone.

Cover up

– It was a good monster

Mystery

– How can she overcome her fear?

[Susan Arnout Smith]

Susan Arnout Smith’s Great Amazing Vision: I easily co-create with the Creator projects that are produced, win awards, heal hearts and bring me professional respect, financial abundance and time to explore the world with my family and friends.

What I learned from Lesson 8: I’m beginning to get a sense of what this story is. Every exercise adds a new dimension, which makes me very happy.

ACT I

Intrigue: The Queen searches out an ancient crone, the holder of a hidden prophesy, and wrenches the prophesy from her. Who is the Queen trying to harm, and why?

Secret: The woman reunited with her soul fragment is actually a creature created by the Queen, who morphs into a molten silvery assassin.

ACT II

Hidden identity: John, Brinn and Esme’s father, is an Outlier on Cantoria, disguised as a nerdy tinkerer. He’s actually a former Navy Seal and known across the Earth-globe as a brilliant physicist working on contact between Earth and other galaxies…who one day…vanishes. (when he leaves Earth and joins Ilya on Cantoria.) Note: There’s a lot to unpack here that will be spread out through the script.

Superior Position: The Queen prepares for war with Cantoria. Her forces outnumber the island kingdom’s forces four to one.

ACT III

Secret/Cover up: The Queen has transformed herself into Mary and is on Earth, disguised as a brilliant, wise-cracking compassionate advocate for homeless kids.

Scheme: Croom, Esme’s fun science teacher at her school for the homeless, plans to enslave Esme to use her gift as an endless money making machine.

ACT IV:

Secret/Hidden identity: Ilya has been carrying with her a terrible lie: Her older sister really didn’t die. Her older sister is the Queen, tricked by Ilya into giving up her H.P. birthright for the kingdom of Maldoria. And now the Queen is determined to get vengeance.

Superior position: All the knowledge Esme has gathered through the story changes her into a fierce leader and rightful heir to the High Priestess role. She saves her Cantoria kingdom, and contains the Queen and her allies. A fierce last fight: Esme wins.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Susan Arnout Smith. Reason: Posted as Lesson 8; reposted correctly as Lesson 7
• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Susan Arnout Smith.

[Kevin Cunningham]

Kevin Cunningham’s Intriguing Moments

My Vision: By making my high-quality writing and speaking known in many venues (the Industry, Youtube, podcasts, books), I will create a reputation as a profoundly powerful, thoughtful, and skilled writer, and be sought after for new and rewrite activities at the highest levels.

What I learned from doing this assignment: I think I could go further, but because I used the thriller model, there are a number of nice mysteries already embedded in the script. I think I could add more into the first draft, i.e., as little elements in each scene.

——

Concept: A woke New England town votes to give their land back to the Native American tribe they stole it from centuries before – putting leadership of the town in the hands of a clueless slacker Native teen

Implicit Concept: Even when they try to help the Natives, the whites can’t help but try to screw them over.

Main Conflict: A slacker Native teen, appointed leader of a town, must overcome his own immaturity and many competing partisan forces to successfully keep the town out of breakdown and bankruptcy, and protect his tribe’s future.

——

Act 1:

Mystery: Who is this John Wompas guy?

Mystery: Who is playing the Indian in the video?

Secret: Mr. Fox has been unfaithful to Elizabeth

Covert Agenda: Mr. Fox is planning to make a real estate deal

Secret/Coverup: Mukki’s secretly in puppy love with Powwow princess, and feels unworthy

Scheme/Hidden Identity: Mr. Fox executes his secret plan to obtain land

Scheme/Mystery: Mr. Fox votes yes – why?

Act 2:

Covert Agenda: Why is Grandfather appointing Mukki the town rep?

Coverup/Mystery: Why does Mukki rebuff Alison? (secret wound about fathers)

Covert agenda: Why is Mr. Fox interested in Elizabeth’s financial work?

Hidden Identity: Mukki pretends to be “an Indian” to both conservatives and progressives

Coverup/Mystery: Does Mukki like Alison?

Mystery: What can Mukki do to save the town?

Act 3:

Mystery/Intrigue: What does Grandfather know about Mr. Fox that we don’t?

Coverup/Mystery: What is Mr. Fox’s real attitude toward Mukki? IS he just using him – or helping him?

Mystery: Does Alison like Mukki?

Intrigue/Mystery: What is Grandfather doing with Mukki’s training?

Intrigue/Mystery: Who is the mysterious Native, who had been seen with Mr. Fox?

Scheme/Mystery: Why does Mr. Fox insist that the counsel reveal the secret about native land sales?

Act 4:

Coverup/Mystery: Why is Mukki so disheartened? What is his wound?

Mystery: What is Mr. Fox up to?

Intrigue/Mystery: Who is the mysterious Native, who had been seen with Mr. Fox?

Intrigue: What does Elizabeth know about Mr. Fox’s affair?

Conspiracy: What will the developers do to Mr. Fox? What did he have to do with them?

Mystery: Will Mukki pick the Powwow Princess?

Intrigue: What is the Historian’s news?

[Joaquin Gray]

Joaquin “Ibn Gray’s” Intriguing moments

My vision: I am an A plus screen writer, who’s scripts are produced into profitable movies, that provide me with large amounts of money.

What I learned doing this assignment is this process has expanded my thoughts about the details of scene writing.

Act 1

Hidden identity – BS remains silent concealing his abilities, knowing he is a platoon leader.

Cover up – BS signals for his wife not to pull the shotgun she has.

Secret – Clyde has received news from the sheriff which shows us a glimpse of his rage.

Act 2

Covert agenda – As Clyde watches BS and BJ ride into town, he whispers to his men, who reach to his command.

Scheme – Clyde tells his man to capture BJ

Cover up – Clyde lies to BS about his son’s whereabouts. He also lies about slavery knowing it is about to end.

Intrigue – Clyde has hundreds of slaves at his ranch.

Act 3

Hidden Identity – The soldiers are ruthless men that don’t take any mess.

Conspiracy – Clyde has an agenda to keep his slaves in bondage forever.

Act 4

Intrigue – Clyde informs BS about his relation to slavery.

Superior position – BS lets Clyde know he is the famous platoon leader.

Joaquin “Ibn Gray’s”

[Jamie Handley]

Jamie Handley MOD 4 DAY 8

Because of a life rights bailout and waiting on one last copyright permission (now have) I had to reconstruct my entire script’s story. The concept is the same.

After an horrific accident, a woman shares her knowledge of medical negligence to her friends until she discovers the medical mafia and her closest friend is about to undergo a complex surgery by a surgeon who is connected to the mob.

WITHOUT RECOURSE “INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY”

In order to get to the first draft, MOD 5, I will come back daily to do the lessons in MOD 4 (which I feel is very important) one day at a time. For now this is my rough outline.

ACT 1

Arizona 2020

Justine is royally pissed off at someone (Marsha) on the phone, screaming and we hear the conversation. She’s a real bitch.

Justine’s been caring for her dying mother for seven years, exhausted and has physical issues. She wears a full back brace. Her mother, Sarah, falls, becomes unconscious. Firemen and ambulance attend to her. The chaos and sirens stir an old memory of a horrific accident she had years ago that changed her life forever.

FLASHBACK

JUNE 1994 Lake Tahoe, Nevada

Justine is in a complicated relationship with Davidson Wentworth, a wealthy, good looking slick man. She is financially dependent on him with her floral shop. The shop is her life until her accident, is airflighted to a Reno Hospital. An ambulance chaser lawyer finds her in hospital, she’s tempted to sign but her associate at the shop, Gemma, squashes that. She’s bedridden for days, released from hospital, has Gemma to help her while Davidson out of town.

When he returns she has nothing nice to say. In fact she can’t stand him right now. He doesn’t want to get involved.

Weeks are spent between the shop, medical issues and legal meetings. She finds a local attorney in town, William Randell who she signs with until later he fails to show in court. Her case is thrown out of court. Justine turns into a real bitch again. Snappy and short tempered. Now she has to plead to Davidson for help, once again at his mercy. He offers his attorney, Donavon Pierce.

Gemma brings up how crooked Donavon is, heard he was part of a new mafia, the medical mafia (signs with him anyway) Gemma thinks Davidson is around waiting for his share of the money or make her sell the shop. Justine doesn’t believe either.

Tired of the pain, the pills, office visits, is advised by seven surgeons that she needs surgery except one, who she blows up at in his office, but soon after she succumbs. She calls a close friend, Jax, a renowned floral designer, for help with the shop but to no avail. Calls daughter, Gracie, who comes to Tahoe while she goes to…

Turning Point

California, where her mother, Sarah, lives and has the surgery, almost dies. As she heals, Donovan calls about the settlement offer, she refuses. Davidson intervenes, meets with Donovan, he has his ways with Justine. He’ll get her to agree. She returns to Tahoe, Gracie returns home.

Reunited, happy to see the shop doing well and Gemma, Gemma happens to bring “the medical mafia article” to the shop for Justine to see. It shows a photo of the two men involved. Justine is still in disbelief, thinks it’s all politics.

Conference – Justine meets with Davidson before the final settlement offer hearing. At the meeting it’s the “good-old-boys” (Judge Blankenship, Donovan and Davidson) who all went to school together.

She is pressured to take the final offer, by the Judge and Donovan. However, final payment could take months because she signed a LOP (Letter of Protection aka medical lien) with Donovan. They settle out of court, but something doesn’t feel right to Justine, but what?

Davidson and Justine attend a large party with A-list professionals, investors, doctors etc. When the Judge and Donovan arrive this causes a big problem with Justine. She soon learns that Davidson is an investor in companies she’s never heard about. Who is he really?

NOTE – HERE’S WHERE WE MEET THE BIG ROLLERS IN THE MAFIA

AT A PARTY; Davidson, Donovan, Lucas, Judge, Dr. Sherman (Jax & Marsha’s surgeon) Neil Watson (Insurance adjuster @ settlement & 2 other men), Edward Grant CEO of D.W.E. Services, Inc./ medical & legal services (Davidson is an investor) and other faces in the court case and places to come. Several people are attending but not known at this stage of Act 1.

That night Justine finds an enormous wad of cash, a check (stating referral fee) from Donovan to Davidson and confronts him. Referral for what? He won’t say. None of her fucking business. They have a row, (she doesn’t know him kind of fight) and decides to leave him, close the shop and move to Arizona where it’s warm and good for her body. And she does.

ACT 2

BACK TO SCENE

2020 The beginning of COVID in ARIZONA

Justine falls over the oxygen line of Sarah’s and breaks her hip. Justine fakes that she has no pain until it’s so bad she is unable to walk. She calls Gracie to come help with Sarah but she’s the one who needs help but would never admit it.

Gracie shows up, moves in, but brings her significant other, Nathan with her, without asking or letting anyone know. This is a big upset, for everyone, even for Sarah. Sarah confronts Gracie with a lecture, men, money, future and health.

Justine must have surgery, signs an AMA, (Against Medical Advise) and walks out of hospital day after surgery. Two days later Sarah dies. Justine is devastated and despondent. She receives insurance money that Sarah left for her. (Sarah no longer cares about money like she once did)

Jax comes to help Justine and Gracie. Jax demands Justine come back with him to San Diego and recoup. She packs and goes with him.

Turing Point 2

SAN DIEGO

Little by little Jax helps her come around; walks on beach, dinners. The two go out to Lips, a drag queen dinner show, where Jax, a real boozer, meets up with his lover, Lucas Pierce, a good looking lawyer.

She gets drunk. Lucas and Justine spar over the law, brings up her court case and the good-old-boys and mafia. Big difference of opinion, she doesn’t like him. Next day she returns home.

ARIZONA

NOTE: WORK ON THIS….Gracie has the house decorated with Christmas. It feels good to be home for the first time in a long time. Could things get to being normal?

Turning Point 2/Midpoint

NEVADA

Lucas calls Justine to notify that Jax was in an accident but not a bad one. They went to Las Vegas to party but he’s going to stay with his mother, Karlie, who has a good doctor and lawyer. He hits Ellis Kilpatrick, an FBI agent.

Jax needs Gracie to cover an important event for him.

NOTE: AT HOTEL, CONFERENCE WITH THE MEDICAL DEVICE MAKERS. We see a lot of the familiar faces of surgeons.

ARIZONA

Justine gets on the phone, preaches about doctors and lawyers in Nevada. She shares the story of a friend, Marsha, who lives in Vegas whose spine caved in after a surgery there. His name doesn’t come to mind. MONTAGE OR SERIES – Sharing the story of lifelong friend, Marsha.

NOTE: Surgery is with Dr. Sherman & Cohen. Marsha’s lawyer is Donald Wittman.

Justine has her monthly visit with her primary, Dr. T. She questions is knowledge of the medical mafia, is it real? Dr. T. evades the question. [ETHICS] She borrows a book (Danger Within Us) from him.

Gracie gets package from Lucas with all the arrangements for the San Diego event. Jax has her to sign a confidential document, (like the one they did in Hawaii at a very private affair). She pays no mind. Nathan is pissed. They argue, she’s about done with him.

Justine and Gracie go to airport. Gracie confides about Nathan with Justine. They go their separate ways.

ACT 3

NEVADA

Justine arrives in Nevada to see Jax. At the hospital, TWO men shake hands, (Lucas and Granger) another with his back turned (Dr. Taylor Sherman) as he talks with Dr. Cohen, and she walks by unnoticed. The men appear to be sales reps, impressively dressed, both with identical expensive briefcases.

Justine turns around, Lucas puts a large envelope in his case, she notices, they don’t see her. Door shuts and Lucas slithers away with briefcase.

As she enters room, Jax is drugged up good. Tries to ask question him, he’s out of it.

Dr. Sherman enters room with Dr. Cohen and Joseph Granger, both with documents in hand.

Sherman – “he’ll need surgery down the road”, introduces Dr. Cohen as he’ll be doing the surgery, but with no insurance that’s when Granger steps up with a LOP document. Justine interrupts, refers to Jax as her brother, takes documents and they’ll get back with them after discussing with mother. (Karlie)

Justine’s beyond pissed, “I told you do not have surgery, you are going to have to learn to live with pain, there are no recourses.” Jax drifts off until…

Nurse walks in hands Jax an envelope. Inside a get well note from Ellis Kilpatrick with his business card. (FBI investigator) Justine reads it, questions it and keeps it.

Act 3 Turning Point

ARIZONA

WEEKS LATER

Justine gets a call from Karlie. Jax has met with an attorney, Donald Wittman who has been persuaded Jax to have the surgery, refers him to see a Dr. Cohen, for a spine surgery that he doesn’t need. Justine is alarmed. How did Wittman get involved? Why? It puzzles her.

Justine calls Davidson, brings him up to date with Jax. “But why would a FBI Agent give his card?” She asks for his help since Donovan says he won’t. He’ll get back with her.

Later that night she gets out the mafia article and rereads it. Justine studies the photo of the TWO MEN (Wittman and Sherman) with Lucas in background. (We can’t make it out well but it is Dr. Sherman) Suddenly she gets worried and scared.

Gracie overhears the conversation, calls Davidson. They have a long conversation about Justine and helping Jax. Gracie explains the situation but Davidson already knows all about it. She asks him to visit mom but he can’t, he has an important meeting in the morning.

Justine starts looking on the computer for anything. She discovers a worldwide medical website, BECKER’S , that releases information on surgeons who are corrupt and have bilked millions of dollars in kickback schemes. She dumbfounded. This goes on for days as she prints out the articles for herself and to share with Davidson and Jax.

NEVADA

Davidson calls Donovan and sets up a meeting with Dr. Sherman and Lucas. Donovan knows something about Lucas and he can’t be trusted. He’s a heat-seeking homing missile. He’s getting greedy and he can do some real damage. They need to talk in private.

The four meet for lunch. Bits and pieces are shared about, Ellis, too many surgeries, money, prescriptions, and work load. Sherman is beyond capacity with surgeries. Grapevine has it there’s an investigation under hat.

Davidson and Donovan leave together, step away and talk in private. Their conversation is about getting immunity if they become a government witness.

NOTE: MARK JACOBSON, DEFENSE ATTORNEY, claims that should have been minor, like Jax, were becoming major. Treated usually treated with P.T. were undergoing drastic spine-fusion surgeries. Some insurers sent in their top lawyers. There is 80 billion in insurance fraud annually. They even held an unusual meeting more than a dozen D.A. attended. Grainger offers protection, no malpractice suits, even threatens associates. Expert witnesses don’t want involved with us. Grainger thinks he’s a fixer for us but he’s going cause some real problems. Patients all signed medical liens (LOP) RIGHT!

ARIZONA

Davidson comes to Arizona to see Justine. They go to dinner, Davidson gathers information (she gives him many of Becker’s articles and goes back to his hotel where she spends the night with him.

At the hotel Davidson takes out his DEA Investigator badge, puts on counter without thinking along with the Becker files. Justine looks for a file, finds badge and asks for explanations. He does his best but there is so much he cannot talk about.

Davidson asks her to come to Tahoe and stay, maybe even get some rest, saying how much has changed, including him. She becomes enraged, refuses his offer and walks out again. Same old shit. She should have known better.

ACT 4

NOTE- Davidson has been following the pill-mill since Justine’s accident. That’s why he let her go so easily.

ARIZONA

Justine is beside herself. Calls to check on Jax, but he’s not around. Phone rings, it’s Marsha’s brother, Mike. Marsha had another surgery, got a blood clot, they caught it in time but is now paralyzed from the waist down. She wants to end her life and Mike doesn’t know what to do.

She didn’t take your advice when you last spoke, remember, you were yelling! Ya, gotta come help her. Justine breaks down in tears.

NEVADA

Jax is calling, stops the conversation with Mike…gotta take this call, call you later.

Jax didn’t do the surgery. Mr. Kilpatrick shed the light on the investigation with Jax. Jax will be a star witness. He’s doing ok and going to p.t. like Justine told him. Lucas won’t talk to Jax and has shut the door on him. But, the p.t. is pretty fine!!!

ARIZONA

Justine and Gracie have a heart-to-heart. The confidentiality agreement from Jax was really his will, leaving his home to Justine and business to Gracie if he dies. Justine is giving Gracie money to rent a small store front for her business. Justine gets a certified letter. Davidson sends a copy of his indictment (he’s turned government witness in Jax’s case) along with a ticket to fly in to Tahoe.

NEVADA – TAHOE

Davidson picks her up at airport. He shows up in a pick-up truck, not a limo like he would normally have done. They drive up Mt. Rose highway to Tahoe but it’s not the same home. It’s totally different. It’s just a nice comfortable cabin.

Justine is totally confused and begins with all her questions. Davidson admits to her who he really is, just a man doing his job, had to play a role. He beings to explain everything and she stops him in his tracks. NOW WHAT??? Where do we go from here? How about Montana? I bought us 20 acres and we can build whatever kind of home you want.

Justine wants to save it for another day maybe another time. She calls Gemma and they meet for lunch and catch up on all the daily gossip. Justine grabs the newspaper and finds a small article where a Las Vegas Medical group and a dozens of surgeons and personal-injury lawyers were charged with fraud, conspiracy and witness tampering.

Gemma takes Justine to airport. She stops in Las Vegas where Mike picks her up. She goes to see Marsha. They reunite, tears fall, 50+ years of friendship isn’t going to stop Justine from seeing Marsha.

NEED ENDING SHOTS…SERIES OR MONTAGE. Come back to this.

THEN:

REAL SHOTS OF HEADLINES ONE BY ONE:

New York neurosurgeon indicted for unnecessary, invasive tests in kickback scheme

Texas spine surgeon sued by an insurer who alleged he performed medically unnecessary procedures to inflate personal injury claim. $1.1M in damages

Hospital, orthopedic surgeon share liability in $6.3M verdict

Chiropractor sentenced to 14 months in spine surgery kickback scheme

Olympic volleyball player permanently paralyzed from chest down with spinal surgery.

20 doctors under the government’s cross hairs.

NOTE: ATTACHED DOCUMENT FROM BECKERS’ January 2018 – August 2022 SENTENCING CONTINUES IN CALIFORNIA SPINE KICKBACK CASE: 6 developments in 4+ years. (15 year scheme $500 M in fraud bill & $40 million in kickback; Dr Capen $5M in kickbacks , Full pardon to Taustino Bernadett, MD sentenced to 15 months in prison in illegal kickback scheme )

Hundreds of patients harmed by surgeons, maybe thousands and thousands we haven’t discover yet.

Former Sanford Health neurosurgeon to pay $4.4.M to resolve kickback charges.Ndw trial required for Missouri neurosurgeon’s kickback case.

Medical Mafia makes $80 Billion Killing

[John Trimbach]

John T’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: to become a reliable box office success and entertain audiences all over the place.

What I learned doing this assignment is that focusing on what happens TO a character is a major breakthrough in discovering intrigue.

Act 1:
Opening – Airline pilot Phil attends the surprise b-day for his adopted niece, Megan, who lives down the street. Pilots Drew and Chet and Flight Attendants Rhonda, Louise and Georgia celebrate Megans’s new job as a flight attendant, a job Phil helped her get. Megan keeps hugging Phil. She thinks of him as more than just a father figure . The flight attendants note this is kind of weird. Phil is very uncomfortable.

Phil – Loses his wife, Gets targeted by a group of hoodlums, Keeps a secret file, Wipes up the blood, looks guilty

Branded by some as a crazy S14: Phil visits his wife’s grave, still mourning her death. S18: Phil gets along with his shrink. She encourages him to engage in different activities to take his mind off his wife’s murder. Phil attends to his rare coin collection, becomes deeply disturbed. Sits alone in his living room, brooding, talking to himself.

S2: Louise acts like a fragile female in need of TLC. She watches a soap opera and gets emotional. She draws a big unhappy smile on her bathroom mirror with lipstick.

S17. Phil burns his souffle, throws the dish in the sink.

S16: Phil demonstrates amazing courage, helps a girl who’s being assaulted. She runs away,. Bangers recognize him. How?”

R16: Bangers come looking for him. Phil outsmarts them. S3: Phil practices knife skills for killing.

Phil feels guilty because he was unable to defend his wife from a violent attack. He constantly relives the memory of being unable to save her.

S15: Phil works under his car. Banger tries to kick the jack out. S8: Phil tries meditation. At first , he doesn’t take to it.

Out for a walk on a downtown layover, an unseen man sees a pair of hoodlums assaulting a hooker. (Later revealed that her customer was a girl.) The man takes them

out mercilessly. He knows martial arts and knife tactics. Leaves them both near death. (Later, we find out it was Phil.)

Inciting Incident – Two nights later Megan is knifed by an unknown masked attacker. [But where?] Phil finds her body, steps in her blood. Phil chases a suspect, loses him. [Is the suspect real or imagined? Is this retaliation for knifing the johns?]

Phil promises Megan’s mother that he will not rest until the killer is caught. He means it.

Turning Point 1: FBI agent Ben is surprised when his boss, the SAC, puts him on the case – it’s his big chance to prove himself. Ben – Humiliated by the ASAC (but as a ruse to

fool the corrupt SAC whom Ben is investigating).The use of FO by the ASAC as when Ben mouths “FO” is a secret signal to meet the ASAC “Cuz that’s what my ex used to say, “Get the FO me!”), Barely passed his shooting qual, Is really good at hand-to-hand tactics, Is really investigating the SAC for embezzlement (with the help of the ASAC), wears a vest (one reason he looks overweight) when shot by Louise.

S4: Ben has big shoes to fill under the shadow of his father’s legacy.

He opens an investigation because Megan’s mom tells him the killer had out-of-state plates. Ben’s in trouble with his boss for failing to follow up with an important interview.

S20: Ben’s boss is an ass.

S6: We see mysterious FB’s re: a boy being abused, made to dress up in women’s clothing.
Ben lives under the shadow of his father’s legacy, a by-the-book veteran. Ben interviews Phil. Phil is tight-lipped.

The chief pilot observes how despondent Phil is, gives him some time off.

We see Phil having an attentive conversation with someone at a cozy restaurant booth. But there’s no one there!

S1: Phil broods and has conversations with his dead wife.

But as we pan to the side, we see that no one’s there. The waitress looks concerned. Has Phil lost it?

Act 2

Phil goes back to work, on his regular flight route, greeted by FA’s Rhonda, Louise, and Georgia, all of whom express their sympathy and try to cheer him up on a layover. Louise expresses to the FA’s how much she would like to have a relationship with Phil.

Louise – Deeply troubled due to childhood abuse, Fixates on Phil as a father figure, Keeps his gender a secret

On the same trip. Phil scolds his co-pilot.

S11: Phil embarrasses Rhonda.
S13. Louise gets hit on by another woman. R13: Louise rebuffs her –hidden agenda.

On the layover party, he meets a flight attendant from another airline and has a drink with her. She’s a therapist there to help him. Louise appears jealous, downs several.

S19: Louise tells everyone her bladder is about to burst, runs to the bathroom. S21: Louis tells everyone that when she pees, it sounds like Niagara Falls.

R19: Surprise- She sounds like a guy peeing.
R21: Cause she stands up.
Phil takes an advanced course in assault tactics using knives.

Phil dines again, having a conversation with no one there.
R15: While working on his car, a killer tries to knock out the jack. Phil gives chase, looses him.
Ben struggles to pass his FBI fitness test. Not the athletic type. He also barely passes his shooting accuracy test.

Midpoint Turning Point – Phil stands over the body of the same FA he had a drink with from a different airline in her hotel room, the door left ajar. Murdered the same way as Megan, repeatedly stabbed. Phil picks up, drops the murder weapon, a knife.

Phil is questioned by the police and later by FBI agent Ben – now considers Phil the prime suspect. Get accused of being a serial killer

Phil finds out the suspect he chased after Megan’s murder was caught and released. He is angered by this.

Phil is puzzled by a similar murder so soon after Megan’s death. Finds similarities. He makes a file analyzing the two murders.

S5: Phil keeps a detailed file on the killings.

Phil suspects that Agent Ben is tapping his phone, misinterpreting his answers over the phone. and his inconsistent answers to his earlier questions. Ben comes to Phil’s house. Phil slips out the back. Phil decides to do his own investigation.

Phil checks into a hotel with Louise.

S10. Louise primps a lot.

With her help [she secretly fetches his clothes], Phil goes on another weekly trip with the same group of flight attendants. Louise tries to get intimate with Phil. Phil snubs Louise’s advances – he’s not ready for another relationship. Louise is stunned, but undaunted.

While on a trip, Phil’s home is searched by Ben and his partner, Ned. They have a limited search warrant but Ned improperly finds Phil’s file. finds Phil’s file, full of details of the murders. Ben is compelled not to use it.

Plan in action – Using remote viewing, Phil figures out the killer’s MO and where the next murder is likely to take place.

R8: Phil sees the next murder while meditating. S22: Phil has a vision of a scorpion behind an ear.

Ben gets chewed out by his supervisor for how he handles the search warrant.

S9: Ben suspects his boss is dirty.

Based on Phil’s file, Ben flies to the city that Phil has marked on the map and the hotel Phil has circled. [Is this the layover hotel or a different one.]

Act 3:
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift –
Another layover murder. The killer must be an airline person. Phil receives an anonymous message to check on her. Enters the room just after the murder.

Someone follows, scares Phil’s therapist.

Ben looks for Phil. Tipped off by Louise, Phil goes underground. Ben almost catches Phil on the run. Ben is out of shape. Later, Phil , goes on another trip. Louise helps Phill elude Ben.

– Phil decides he must vindicate himself by solving the murders and clear his name. He practices his knife moves.

Flashback: An unidentified boy is abused by his father, made to dress up like a girl. Who is the boy?

R11: Rhonda rats out Phil to Ben.

Rhonda discovers evidence that implicates Phil, rats him out to Ben. Now Ben is ready to pounce.

Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict –
Shaken by the killings, Phil seeks the comfort of Louise and her friend, Tammy. Tammy is taken up with Phil talks about hooking up with him. Louise scowls.

S12: Phil races to the murder scene. R12: Phil bumps into Louise there. (Note: Which is it?)

Phil drives to the friend Tammy’s apartment. Phil shows up, sees the friend tied up. Tipped off by Rhonda, Agent Ben races to Tammy’s apartment.

R6: The FB’s are a boy’s horrors – but who’s? (Lewis)

Ben aims at Phil thinking he’s the killer . The masked killer bumps Ben, stabs him. Phil charges, wig and mask fall off – it’s Louise aka Lewis. He is shocked but Lewis tries to explain that he loves Phil. “I would die for you.” Lewis wields a knife close to Phil’s throat. Phil disarms Lewis. Ben intervenes to save Phil. Lewis shoots Ben.

R2. She’s a he, and he’s the killer. Ben tries to help Phil. Lewis shoots Ben.

R3: Phil uses his learned knife skills the ones so that he would never be defenseless as when his wife was stabbed to death.
R10: Louise has a package.
R22: Phil sees the scorpion tattoo behind Louise’s ear.

Phil musters all his energy, charges Lewis . They both go over the edge. Phil lands on the lower floor balcony, hanging on for dear life. Same for Lewis – he tells Phil he killed the girls so they could be together. Phil must either save himself or risk his life saving Lewis. Lewis grabs his arm. Phil uses a newly learned knife move, stabs Lewis’ hand, kicks him off the rail. Lewis falls to his death.

Resolution

– we now see the boy forced to dress up like a girl that we thought was Phil or Ben was really Lewis.

R4: Ben is credited with solving the crime and saving Phil’s life.

Phil visits Ben in the hospital. Ben is healed, so he leaves with an important task to do

R9: Ben arrests his boss.
R20: Ben reads him his rights.

ASAC secretly dating Ben’s informant, the SAC’s secretary

Ben gets promoted.

P5: Phil was compiling a file to catch the killer.
S7: Phil’s shrink helps him so he doesn’t need her anymore. She suggests a dinner date. He says no.
R18: Doorbell rings – it’s his date – her.

P14. Phil visits his wife’s grave says goodbye to her. R17: Phil perfects his souffle.

R1: He’s not insane – talking with his wife was the technique his shrink advised him to use while grieving.

Phil dines in the same restaurant as before, having a conversation – his dead wife? R7: No, with his recovered therapist. He now says yes.

Ben gets promoted., rewards Phil for his bravery. Phil has learned to appreciate life. Ready for a new relationship.