Day 8 Assignments

[June f]

June Fortunato has Lots of Hooks for Retirement. Day 8 of marketing

What I learned: I have lots of hooks.

Roy Dent 2, 3,4, 5, 7, 14,21,24,29,30,31,32,38

Kim Kirby 10, 11,28,33,35,38

Kim’s brother Brian and Sister in Law, Ingrid 11, 26,27,34,36

Nurse Suzy 6, 12,22,39

Marilyn 18,19,37

1. Unique and culture changing language from the first word.

2. Convo from the 70s starts the screenplay – what happened to one of the lads?

3. Roy, late 60s could charm the frown off of a church lady.

4. Roy makes up words to songs from the 60s and 70s to charm women.

5. Roy thinks he’s warming up his gal but the house is abandoned. Roy has found himself in this situation before.

6. His gal, Suzy, found his hidden war medal. It’s not disclosed why he was awarded it.

7. Roy steals and crashes a van. He mentions time in VietNam.

8. Roy gets beaten almost to death and lands in the hospital.

9. His nurse is the woman who left him.

10. On page 10, Kim appears to be homeless. Who is she? “A waiting tiger- a fighter with a hit

and run approach.”

11. Kim barges into what appears to be her own house and is thrown down the stairs. Her

brother & sister in law will cover up their crime. They also stole almost everything she owns.

12. Nurse Suzy calls a lawyer on behalf of Roy. She’s obligated to date the man.

13. Roy is told that he must ‘get normal’ join society and settle down.

14. page 20 Roy actually declared himself dead, and that’s why he can’t claim ssi.

15. page 21- Roy meets Kim and they’re instantly smitten with each other.

16. Kim’s brother and sis in law have gotten her discharged and want to whisk her into a mental institution. Roy saves her and she escapes.

17. Kim steals Suzy’s car and swaps it for a woman’s (Marilyn) in a boutique. She also steals a bathing suit.

18. Marilyn, delayed because her car was misplaced, falls and is rushed to the hospital.

19. Marilyn’s car is returned to the parking garage. How will she get it, now that she’s in the hospital?

20. Kim’s squatting in a theatre and she sings and plays the piano. She also copies a lot of papers.

21. Roy, in court, pays his debts but must find a permanent address in 6 weeks or be assigned a financial guardian.

22. Suzy takes sympathy on Marilyn and babysits her dogs- and wants to find someone to replace her. She wants to get Roy to do it. Will she?

23. Kim learns that she got the parking attendant fired so she steers him to the theatre, when she knows they need more crew. Will he get hired?

24. Roy’s about to leave the hospital but has to have a procedure.

25. Kim, who’s found a gym pass, ends up at the Bellevue hotel and finds an open suite to squat in.

26. Kim’s brother and sister in law have fraudulently reassigned the house deed to take the house away from her.

27. Roy confronts Kim’s brother in a bank.

28. page 57 both Roy and Kim squat at the Bellevue hotel, and, finding each other, reignite their relationship. They plan to go to Atlantic City. First, Kim has something to do.

29. page 67 Will Roy blow up Kim’s family home?

30. page 70 Roy freaks out. What will happen? Will he forgive Kim? Will she forgive herself? Is he permanently messed up? Will they get back together again? Will he have another breakdown?

31. p 78 Roy and Suzy see each other. Suzy tries to get him to be the pet sitter but he escapes

the situation. Will he ever meet Marilyn and pet sit?

32. page 80 Where will Roy sleep?

33. page 82. Kim hijacks her brother. Has she gone crazy? will she crash the car?

34. p 88 Kim retakes her car. will she retake her house? She doesn’t know that her brother forged a new deed.

35. page 93 Will Kim come back and help Marilyn out of guilt?

36. page 104 Will they catch Kim’s brother and sister in law? Will Ingrid get away?

37. Will Marilyn forgive Kim? What will happen to where they live if she doesn’t?

38. Will Roy and Kim finally get together and stay together?

39. Will Suzy get a payback?

[Kate Hawkes]

ASSIGNMENT
———————
Kate has Lots of Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is I have many hooks- maybe not all unique characteristics but certainly evolving characters. And they seem to equate with Lead character, 2nd Lead, and Main Supporting.

LEAD CHARACTERS: hooks describing something unique and/or evolving
• NIA

4,6,7,11,17,18,20,22,25,26,30,26,38,42,44,47,

• DARROGH
9,11,12,15,21,22,28,30,37,40,42,48,50,52

• LUCIANA

1,2,3,7,12,16,17,23,24,36,37,49

List of ALL the hooks in your script.(Numbered)

1) Luciana making tortillas, with her hairless Mexican dog

2) Cursing/threatening Darrogh

3) Speaking with lots of Spanish

4) Nia falling off the bus

5) The youthful travelling theatre troupe arrives

6) Nia taking to her dead mother feeling something great is going to happen

7) Locals and Troupe meet in bar – Luciana ‘faked’ permission for them, to stay there – what will

Darrogh do?

8) Luciana very taken with Nia who she realizes she knows.

9) Darrogh alone on the steps of his house at night

10) Darrogh has a flashback to a young woman as he watches Nia on stage

11) D tells Nia he is her father

12)Luciana and D meet and allude to their bitter past and exchange challenges re Nia and the land

13) Shaunn tells his Mother not to come

14) Bill expresses to D distrust in the theatre troupe

15) D asks Nia not to hang with the locals, gives her a bicycle

16) 1st Town meeting opposing D and his plans with a better one.

17) Luciana tries to get to know Nia better making Nia uncomfortable

18) Nia dares Shaunn to get to know his Mother as she is getting to know her Father

19) 2^nd town meeting – D offering to buy all the land for a landfill

20) Nia offers to help change her dad’s mind

21) D dismisses her concerns adding she is too much like her Mother.

22) Nia has a flashback to a fight between her parents when she was 5

23) Luciana tells Nia she knew her Mother they were friends in college

24) Towns people decide to set up a sting op against D

25) Nia goes along with it even as she thinks her Dad can change with her love

26) Nia gets the acting troupe on bd

27) Shaunn asks his business woman Mother for help

28) 1st ‘businessmen’ meeting with D – he wants more

29) Bill tells D Nia has ben hanging with Luciana

30) D and Nia have a huge fight – he tells her Luciana is a lesbian and caused her Mother’s death then throws her out

31) Nia has a 2^nd flashback – to when D threw her mother out

32) Nia returns to the camp

33) Bulldozers arrive at the field where the troupe are camped

34) 2^nd Biz proposal – he wants more time

35) Min ( Shaunn’s Mom) arrives unexpectedly to help

36) Nia and Luciana have it out – Luciana tells her what really happened

37) Nia has a flashback to that scene with her parents and Luciana

38) Nia catches Bill watching her and calls him out

39) 3^rd meeting The ‘businessmen’ led by Min – he will announce what he’ll do at Saturdays last show

40) D offers if Nia comes back he will take care of everyone – she declines

41) Idea to do a play to expose D regardless of what choice D makes – 2 endings

42) Nia gives D one more chance to tell her the truth about her Mother and him – he can’t do it

43) The night of the final show – D chooses to partner with the fake businessmen and the con is revealed – the community keep their land

44) Nia does mono from Othello where Desdemona pleads for her life right before O kills her in a jealous rage -dressed in her mother’s clothing

45) Shaunn and his Mother come to appreciate each other

46) Luciana shows Nia the last letter from her Mother where she says D is killing her by not letting her see her daughter. (Nia) and offers her a forever home/family

47) Nia makes one last effort to connect with her Dad and own his part in her mother’s death.

48) he cant do it, she says goodbye

49) she reads a letter from Luciana offering her a forever home/family and saying she’ll take care of Darrogh

50) Darrogh writing at his desk – gun cabinet open

51) Bus leaving, Nia on it reading Letter

52) D dead on steps of his house as Luciana arrives

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Kate Hawkes.

[Dev Ross]

Story Hooks

Leads: Clay and Lincoln

Clay: 1, 5, 6

Lincoln: 8, 13

I learned how to see where my hooks are and how to begin to put them forth in a pitch.

1. Clay is a deeply feeling man who stands against the rising tide of the White Supremacists – The Sons of the Patriots. But wait! Clay is a Grand Dragon!

2. Mysterious winds plague a small town.

3. Multi-universes exist side by side and one is degrading and infiltrating the other.

4. Two small towns seem almost totally alike only one is filled with white people, the other black.

5. Clay struggles to maintain his patriarchy over his young naïve wife and their daughter who hides her pregnancy from her black boyfriend.

6. Clay leads a Klan meeting that consists of a bunch of losers. He struggles to elevate them but deep down they, themselves, know it’s hopeless.

7. White Supremacists burn a cross on a Grand Dragon’s front lawn because of his family’s association with blacks.

8. Clay goes to bed with his white wife who’s arm suddenly turns black.

9. Lincoln, a rising black leader, wakes up with a strong desire to kill Clay, the Grand Dragon.

10. As reality shifts, Clay and Lincoln pull up alongside of each other in identical cars. Clay pulls a shotgun on Lincoln.

11. They car chase each other in and out of two realities.

12. Lincoln drives out Clay’s reality only to accidentally run over his wife in his reality. He thinks he’s going crazy.

13. Lincoln speaks at a rally and transforms from a uniter to a divider.

14. The men kill each other only to discover they are each one half of the other. They die as one.

15. Their pivotal deaths are the catalyst for two new universes to be birthed.

[anna harper]

Anna Harper’s Lots of Hooks for SILENT NIGHT

What I learned from the assignment. I have been doing it all wrong! What a great systematic way to approach the task of hooks and query letters. This is a much more predictable way of giving producers what they want in a query phone or letter approach, Thanks.

Characters Hooks

ALFIE

5. 6.8. 10. 13, 17 , 19

DYLAN

2. 5. 7, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 19.

STEVE

9. 15, 16, 17, 4, 20 21

1. Christmas; Christmas season established

2. mute traumatized teenager; Dylan is mute and refuses to speak since the death of his mother

3. bullying. The school children bully Dylan, as does his homeroom teacher.

4. romance Steve meets and falls for Mickey the baker

5. garbage skiff; Dylan hides in a garbage skiff to escape the bullies and meets Alfie. Later Steve and Alfie locate Dylan in the garbage skiff after he has run away

6. Alife the dog with superpowers Alife is able to communicate telepathically with Dylan, breaking his isolation and opening a channel of communication. He encourages Dylan to speak and to use his artwork as a means of expressing and communicating his problems.

7. secrets Alfie’s secret is that he is a homeless dog with superpowers. He reveals this to Dylan and requests Dylan reveal his secrets as to why he will not talk.

8. funny Steve discovers Alfie in the bathtub with Dylan.

9. death of mother The death of Dylan’s mother two years ago, is still deeply affecting both Steve and Dylan. They visit her at her grave at Christmas.

10. homeless Alfie is a homeless dog. We do not know the backstory.

11. bad teacher bully The teacher Elizabeth dislikes the school children and terrorizes them. Dylan is her main target as she sees him as a barrier to having a romance with Steve.

12. boarding school Dylan is threatened with boarding school.

13. breakthrough silence Alfie coaches Dylan at key moments to use his words. Gradually this works. Initially, it gets him in more trouble.

14. running away; Dylan runs away when a decision is made to send him to boarding school. He is wrongly accused of causing trouble, when in fact he was rescuing Lilly his friend from a locked cellar. Locked by Elizabeth.

15. rescue Dylan rescues Lilly, from the cellar. Alfie rescues Dylan from the garbage skiff and locates him when he runs away, Steve is the local hero who rescues as part of his volunteer work as the village fireman. Finally, Dylan rescues Victor the bully from loneliness and parental strife on Day.

16. dog pound Alfie is threatened by Steve with the dog pound. As Dylan becomes more and more verbal, Steve appreciates Alfie as a valuable member of the family and agrees to adopt Alfie.

17. angels Angles are a subliminal symbolic theme throughout alluding to the deceased mother’s presence, and finally, Alfie receives an angel name tag from Micket who gets the situation, as A Christmas presence and acknowledgment of Alfie’s help.

18. Christmas visit to mother’s grave Christmas is a key time for the family to visit and commune with Dyalns deceased mother. Alfie is introduced as a new friend at the graveside.

19. set up for the series At the conclusion of the story, Alfie and Dylan conspire to find Alfie’s littermates.

20 single-parent Steve s load as a single parent is relatable, and consequently, as he is overburdened he misses vital clues as he rushes about trying to hold down jobs and parent.

21 local hero Steve loves being a local hero, both driving the senior citizens’ bus and double

[Lisa Paris Long]

DAY 8 – Find the Hooks

Lisa has Lots of Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is to add hooks throughout to keep the story moving and to hold the interest of the audience.

Characters:

Mary – 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 14, 17, 20, 21, 27

Peter – 1, 7, 10, 13, 18, 22, 23

Hooks:

1. Why did these people jump off a bridge and are hanging from it in a thunderstorm?

2. Who is this woman and mother speaking to the audience?

3. This is a quaint town in upstate NY that hasn’t seen snow in 3 years.

4. It’s Christmas time.

5. Woman is Mary and she’s losing her business.

6. A beautiful old Victorian, but the woman doesn’t live there anymore!

7. Peter is taking care of his daughters, Janie and Ruthie. Mary is their mom.

8. An 81-year-old black woman, Ma Jenkins owns her own boarding house and has taken Mary in. She gives wise advice.

9. Mary receives a letter from the bank stating she will lose her snowmobile business on December 25^th if she doesn’t come up with what she owes!

10. Peter almost runs over Mary with his car.

11. Mary used to work at NORAD.

12. Mary works odd jobs for the townspeople to make ends meet since there’s been no snow.

13. Peter works with at the local winery. He is dating his boss, Josephine. He asks for a raise because of Mary’s predicament.

14. Mary tells her boyfriend, Sam that she’s going to kidnap Santa Claus. He threatens to call her therapist. He ends up humoring her by going with her.

15. Santa Claus is real! And Sam is shocked that Mary actually knows him.

16. Everyone in town has a role to play in the annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival.

17. Mary sings at the local bar the night before the festival starts.

18. Peter can ice skate.

19. As part of the festival, the town puts on a 1940’s dance contest ala IAWL. Mary loses.

20. Mary kidnaps Santa Claus. The government and NORAD are immediately notified, and agents are sent to find all the former NORAD agents that might have knowledge of Santa.

21. Mary hides Santa in the back of her closed snowmobile shop. They move threw town unnoticed because of the annual Santa 5K run where all the contestants dress as Santa. The town is swapped with Santas.

22. Peter may still be in love with Mary and not Josephine.

23. Peter realizes that Mary is missing and probably has Santa Claus. He goes to the police who laugh at him.

24. Santa gets away and turns up in the parade on top of the firetruck.

25. Janie and Ruthie go out to look for their mother and are lost. Looking for their children brings Mary and Peter together.

26. The children are found at the church and there is a touching moment when the townspeople sing a Christmas carol.

27. Christmas day on the courthouse steps, the town has paid off Mary’s mortgage with the money they made from the festival.

[Dana Abbott]

<div>PS81 – Dana has Lots of Hooks
</div><div>

Title: First Time Caller

</div>

What I learned:

I created more hooks in the story that I thought I had, and probably don’t recognize some. But I also learned I need to create more hooks to fulfill my surprise ending.

Lead Character Hooks

Ellen Landry

2,6, 8,9, 10, 13, 16, 15, 18, 20, 23, 24, 26, 29, 31, 32, 34, 37, 40, 44, 47

Jack Sorensen

17, 18, 21, 23, 35, 38, 43

Story Hooks

1. Man’s VO: “This is the only place where I’m allowed to exist.”

2. Ellen and her patient talk at cross purposes. He becomes suspicious of her motives and talks about escaping the dark. The others whispering, conspiring against him.

3. Ellen’s patient attempts suicide

4. Antagonist prepares dungeon-like room

5. VO of radio announcers leads to KCSF radio station and Ellen’s new career

6. Station manager discussing Ellen’s low rations due to her lack of conflict on air

7. Ellen and Claire realize they’re show is being cancelled for low ratings

8. Ellen tells her producer Claire she doesn’t connect with people and avoids conflict

9. Ellen’s husband, Roger, calls to say a) his car didn’t start, b) and he called Uber, c) he had to wait for a driver with a child seat for their daughters, d) the Uber driver takes a wrong turn. (Uber driver is antagonist)

10. Ellen doesn’t tell her husband her show didn’t get picked up, and explains to Claire she doesn’t like to disappoint her daughters (family)

11. Claire tells Ellen, “One caller. That’s all we needed. Just one caller,” to save their show.

12. Jason, Ellen’s one time patient, calls the show and a matter of life and death.

13. Begging for help, Jason warns Ellen that someone will harm her family if she doesn’t help him.

14. Anxious, Ellen calls Roger and her daughters’ school to confirm their safety. Roger doesn’t answer his phone. Daughters not in class yet.

15. Ellen rejects a substitute host and continues her show while waiting for Roger to call back.

16. Det. Jack Sorensen interrogates a man suspected of killing his family. The man confesses but swears he was forced to kill them by someone named Simon.

17. Sorensen gets the assignment to investigate the threatening phone call from Jason. He considers it nothing more than an “obscene phone call.” A nothing case.

18. Ellen receives a text from Roger relieving her concerns, but doesn’t question it authenticity

19. Claire answers a call from Ryan, who suffers from identity crisis. Claire puts him on the caller list.

20. Sorensen arrives at station to interview Ellen. He learns a) Roger confirmed he’s okay by a text, b) Jason suffers from DID and is under another doctor’s care and c) the husband’s cell number and the number Jason used to call the station

21. Sorensen, suspicious of events, asks his lieutenant to confirm Ellen’s daughters arrived at school

22. Ellen takes the call from Ryan (antagonist) who tells her he’s a “First Time Caller,” and they begin their confrontation.

23. Sorensen contacts Sullivan, Jason’s doctor. He learns a) Jason attempted suicide during a session with Ellen and b) he had as many doctors as he had identities and c) Ellen never met Jason. She treated William, one of Jason’s alters d) Jason has a sister in Memphis, e) Sullivan is arrogant

24. Ryan reveals his connection to Jason during his conversation with Ellen

25. Sorensen learns Ellen’s daughters never made It to school. And the phone number Jason used to call the station belongs to Ellen’s husband.

26. Ryan reveals himself to Ellen, that he’s kidnapped her family and intends to kill one every hour unless she can suppress Jason’s identity by the end of her show

27. Sorensen begins investigation to find husband’s GPS and the Uber driver

28. Ryan reveals he and Det. Sorensen have crossed paths before and mentions Simon from the earlier interrogation

29. Cops have located GPS on husband’s phone at the Uber driver’s home. SWAT enroute. Ellen agrees to stall.

30. At Uber drive’s home, driver is dead and husband phone is forwarding call

31. Ryan kills Roger on air at the top of the hour as promised, and Ellen collapses having failed

32. Ellen tells Sorensen she has Jason’s patient file on her computer. She now wants to get him.

33. Jerry, station owner, argues that Ellen is the hottest radio show on air right now, but Peter refuses to capitalize, even though TV vans are showing up outside.

34. Ellen resumes her show and meets Bobby, Jason’s 10-year-old alter, on the line. She tries to trick him into telling where he is. He doesn’t. He tells Ellen about his dog Spotty. Ryan is still there. He has a gun.

35. Sorensen retrieves file, we see Jason’s picture for the first time.

36. Jason’s sister speaks to Jason. She mentions the friends Jason used to live with in San Francisco.

37. Ellen confronts Ryan and decides to introduce him to William

38. Dr. Sullivan, working with the team, warns everyone against her dangerous plan, including Sorensen. Sorensen tells him it’s Ellen’s show.

39. Ellen brings William forward. William tells he “sees” Ryan smiling

40. Ellen tries to manipulate William that Ryan and the others are whispering and conspiring against him as before and push him to suicide. When he refuses, Sullivan explains that William is not suicidal, he’s a psychopath, like Ryan, and now she’s dealing with two.

41. Ryan thanks Ellen for introducing him to William, but she didn’t honor the deal and intends to killer her daughters.

42. Uniformed police locate an animal shelter where Jason/Bobby cared for Spotty the dog.

43. Sorensen learns from his lieutenant that Spotty is owned by one of Jason’s friends mention by his sister. SWAT again is en route to the home. He tells Ellen, but it’s her call.

44. Ellen ignores the news and presses William and Ryan into conflict using hooks from her first session with William

45. Sullivan suggests the two alters are interacting together like two separate people

46. William tells Ellen he can’t feel the gun in his hand, Ryan won’t surrender it

47. Ellen screams at William to shoot himself, and the gun fires.

48. SWAT finds Jason dead. The girls alive.

49. In the aftermath, Sorensen’s teams questions how mental patient like Jason could have masterminded this crime. Lieutenant suggests it wasn’t Jason. It was Ryan, the alter.

50. Sorensen then learns Jason was being held for observation at a clinic for two weeks, and he puts the pieces together that prove Jason could not have been the mastermind. (VO of all the “hook” statements the characters make through the film)

51. Another radio station receives a call from Ryan a week later. “I’m a long-time listener. And a first-time caller.” END

[Cameron Martin]

Cameron Martin has Lots of Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment…first of all, I’m sure I flubbed this somehow. I’m not sure if over a hundred hooks is something I can credibly claim. At the very least, I’m made more confident that my story moves at a breakneck pace and has multiple layers and hooks that continue to build intrigue in the story. I’m sure as I continue to do this assignment for future projects, I’ll get a better idea on how to differentiate what is and isn’t a hook.

_______

Sully: 8, 9, 14, 19, 20, 30, 36, 42, 57, 64, 68, 74, 95, 102, 103, 104, 106, 114, 115, 117, 119, 122, 125, 127, 128, 129, 135

Isaiah: 10, 14, 22, 23, 24, 32, 58, 65, 66, 70, 71, 75, 105, 108, 111, 113, 124, 135

Jude: 72, 73, 77, 78, 79, 81, 87, 93, 94,

Markus: 59, 60, 61, 83, 92, 100, 101, 123, 131, 132, 133

Apollo: 62, 83, 90, 101

_______

1. Beth scared in a dark closet with an alarm blaring.

2. Beth has a family.

3. Beth makes a phone call; she’s hiding from something.

4. Sully answers, telling her to cover her mouth and run.

5. Sully and Beth’s son is unaccounted for or his location is unknown

6. Something is trying to get into the closet and get to Beth.

7. That something is their neighbor.

8. Sully is literally fighting against the crowd to get to his family.

9. Sully “loves making things work more than making love.”

10. Isaiah is a 9 year old boy with Asperger’s Syndrome.

11. Isaiah won’t leave his spot.

12. The teacher abandons Isaiah, leaving him with just a phone

13. Sully gets a phone call: it’s from Isaiah, the boy who was left behind.

14. Isaiah tells his dad he’s too scared to move, forcing Sully to choose between saving his child or saving his spouse. Sully saves his child.

15. Sully patches Beth through the phone to talk to her son: is this the last time he’ll talk to his mother?

16. “A hand wrenches Isaiah out from under the table.”

17. Through the phone, Beth is heard screaming. She was killed in her escape attempt.

18. “One Year Later” – Sully is alone and can’t sleep.

19. Sully talks to his dead wife. “I don’t want to leave a world where you still haunt me.”

20. Sully professes to not know how to talk to his son anymore.

21. The window malfunctions. The outside that we see in the window is artificial.

22. Isaiah is smart enough to build a Rube Goldberg machine for his bedroom.

23. Isaiah reads the note his dad left him, crumples it, and then recovers it to put it with his dad’s other notes.

24. Isaiah’s been keeping a mysterious something under his bed.

25. This is a futuristic world with a mix of familiar and new tech.

26. A teenager’s coughing severely

27. Two doctors discuss the coughing, hinting that it could be something more serious. But one of the doctors says it’s nothing.

28. A clatter from the teenager’s room

29. A mother is protesting her son being inspected by a different doctor: Sully is inspecting her son with an invasive procedure.

30. Sully promises that if one patient who’s infected avoids inspection, the entire colony is put at risk.

31. Manager calls in Sully to his office.

32. Isaiah struggles in social settings due to his Asperger’s. He’s excused from the class after being cutoff from some potentially important information.

33. This is a space colony on a newly terraformed planet. It’s still dangerous, and an entity called The Hegemony is in charge.

34. Sully’s Manager is going to retaliate against him by having The Hegemony take his son from him.

35. The alarm goes off.

36. Sully sucker punches his manager.

37. Sully has to get his son before he can go to the bunker.

38. A guard stops the sick teenager from entering the bunker.

39. The parents and the teenager’s doctor try to convince the guard to break protocol. The doctor introduces a kill syringe into the equation, promising to use it at the first sign of a problem.

40. Sully finds Isaiah, but he won’t move out from under the bed.

41. The doctor gives the teenager a diuretic, which seems to calm the teen down. Everyone is on edge around him about the prospect of being “infected” with something.

42. Sully makes a pair of earmuffs for his son out of his wife’s things. Then, Sully carries his son and swears at him.

43. Manager wakes up, to a blackout, followed by every other light coming on.

44. “They could come from anywhere.”

45. “The bunker will be closed in five minutes.” Will the Manager make it.

46. Screams down the hallway, and a crash directly behind the Manager.

47. Dr. Douglas is walking unnaturally and has a deformed face all of a sudden, as he chases down the Manager.

48. Manager escapes, but “something worse” is directly overhead.

49. Manager runs away from “something worse” and gets eaten by Dr. Douglas. That “something worse” slithers away unseen.

50. Sully and Isaiah haven’t made it to the safety of the bunker yet.

51. The teenager coughs up blood!

52. Dr. Mick is terrified at what the teenager is “infected” with, and kills him with a lethal injection.

53. Dr. Mick holds a second syringe to his neck, ready to kill himself than face the consequences if he didn’t kill the teen “in time.”

54. The teen’s jaw splits open!

55. Dr. Mick kills himself.

56. Sully and Isaiah make it to the bunker…too late.

57. Sully breaks his hand.

58. Isaiah says “they’re not that bad” and that he knows what to do.

59. A ship full of passengers. One of them is a holy man: Markus

60. Markus clumsily almost causes a fellow passenger to fall to their death or serious injury.

61. Markus risks his safety for the fellow passenger he endangered.

62. The fellow passenger, Apollo, is missing an arm.

63. “A 15 foot alien worm” slithers after Sully and Isaiah.

64. Sully breaks into a locked apartment with Isaiah in toe, endangering another couple that didn’t make it to the bunker.

65. Isaiah inflicts pain on his father to escape from his grasp…

66. Isaiah throughs a pot to distract the alien when he’s face to face with it. The alien appears to not see very well.

67. James makes a run for it, abandoning his wife. But the worm slithers down Jame’s throat and turns him into a zombie.

68. Sully breaks James arm, exposing the bone; but James just uses the broken bone as a shiv against Sully.

69. Sully and Isaiah are trapped between something banging against their front door, and some other sound behind them.

70. Isaiah starts apologizing before Sully even knows what’s wrong.

71. Isaiah’s pet worm slithers out from under his bed and chases after the two.

72. Jude shoots the worm and the home invader with pin-point accuracy, using an “illegal” firearm.

73. Jude is a sweet talking woman that made milk and cookies.

74. Sully makes a makeshift weapon

75. Isaiah has a plan to catch and release the worms trying to kill them.

76. Isaiah uses alkaline against the worms.

77. Jude is infected.

78. Jude is an agent who wants to do “what any grandmother should do”

79. Sully knows Jude has a “suicide syringe,” but Jude refuses to give it to him or take it herself.

80. Isaiah finds a worm head with fungal shoots growing out of it.

81. Jude burns the head and her gun to get rid of the evidence.

82. Sully guesses that since they have no defenses, they’re waiting for exterminators to rescue them.

83. Apollo and Markus are draft dodgers.

84. Apollo and Markus “escaped being drafted so they could be conscripted” to exterminate aliens.

85. The worms have a lifecycle: spore to worm to fungus.

86. The Hegemony is responsible for the worm outbreaks because their terraforming practice unbalanced the ecosystem.

87. Jude talks with Isaiah about the worms because she wants to support Isaiah.

88. Jude’s “time is up”

89. People are being led down a line. One of the passengers is abducted without any outburst from the others.

90. Apollo knows as much about the Bible as Markus.

91. Apollo demands that Markus answer GOD’s call by starting a mutiny.

92. Markus want’s to remain passive and believes his oath will protect him from having to pull a trigger.

93. Jude has a suicide syringe and a photo of her granddaughter. She was using Isaiah as a surrogate grandchild to live out a fantasy of how she wanted to die.

94. Jude appears to give a code: Aurora12Calypso

95. Sully kills Jude after he asks Isaiah to look away.

96. Isaiah insists that Jude’s time can be extended if the lungs are kept moist long enough for them to extract the eggs, implying there is a potential cure.

97. A mother and child are separated by soldiers.

98. Markus is handed an illegal weapon and ordered to fight and kill aliens.

99. Markus is given an earpiece and an order to use an additional round of ammunition on a mutineer.

100. Markus tries to save Apollo with under the table messaging.

101. Apollo refuses to listen to Markus, which results in Markus shooting Apollo when pushed.

102. Sully has a dream about Isaiah’s curiosity being the death of him.

103. Sully carves into Jude’s skull to extract a neural implant.

104. Sully uses Jude’s code to hack into Jude’s files and uncover all her evidence and a map that reveals a secret path to the bunker.

105. Isaiah says the reason he likes the aliens is because he can relate to them.

106. Sully locks his son in a closet to protect him, promising to come back when he knows it’s safe.

107. Sully encounters a massive worm nest that he has to crawl through to get to the bunker.

108. Isaiah uses his smarts to create a pulley that could get him out of the closet. When that doesn’t work, he devises a new strategy using a lever.

109. Sully makes it to the bunker, only to find it’s full of infected.

110. Sully falls into the bunker and has to fight and find a way out.

111. Isaiah navigates through the worm nest blindfolded.

112. Isaiah trips over something. “He can’t go back the way he came”

113. Isaiah risks his life to save his dad.

114. Sully pushes Isaiah and gets him infected.

115. Sully puts his mask on Isaiah and holds his breath until he gets past the nest to safety.

116. The infected have free reign of the space colony.

117. Sully says he’s imperfect for Isaiah and apologizes for not even trying after his mother died.

118. The exterminators arrive.

119. Isaiah’s infected.

120. Sully has Isaiah gather any and all of Jude’s physical evidence.

121. Sully takes his son to a medical bay, but two more infected are already there.

122. Sully makes a steaming pan for Isaiah to breathe into, keeping his lungs moist.

123. Markus kills again, this time to spare a fellow passenger from the pain of being eaten alive.

124. Isaiah straps a massage gun to his ankle to attract aliens, while he crawls through a vent.

125. Sully dresses as an exterminator and follows his son to the medical bay aboard the passenger ship, listening for the massage gun.

126. Isaiah unstraps his massage gun at the assault of an alien. The alien attacks the massage gun instead of Isaiah.

127. Sully moves on, trusting his son to make it to the rendezvous.

128. Sully and his son make it to the medical bay, where Sully extracts the eggs from his son through a bronchoscopy.

129. Sully and Isaiah used to live on Ganymede, and Sully tells Isaiah about how his mother loved him to help calm him down.

130. Sully and Isaiah left Jude’s evidence everywhere to appeal that they did nothing worth killing them over.

131. Markus saves Sully and Isaiah after the claims made by Jude, which included that multiple passenger ships will have to be “disappeared” to contain the aliens in the future.

132. Markus makes Sully promise to expose the Hegemony

133. Markus sacrifices himself so Sully and Isaiah can escape.

134. A military officer escapes with a potentially infected passenger in the same ship as him.

135. Sully assures that Isaiah’s mother is with him, and appears to have finally connected with Isaiah and moved on from his grief.

[Antonio]

Antonio has Lots of Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment:

Identifying what creates curiosity and grabs the attention of the reader makes a whole lot of a difference. It also gives an opportunity to check if the delivery meets the premise or rewriting is needed.

———————

Make a list of ALL the hooks in your script.

1. Make a list of all the hooks in your story. Number them.

1. Parisa is an accomplished sports girl, whose emotions and the trauma of having seen her sister falling from a building, often challenge her performance. Acute stress disorder affects her sleep and makes her often relive the traumatic experience.

2. This is not only an impossible rescue mission to save her boyfriend from the hands of a criminal ring; Parisa also wants to escape from the trauma and guilt provoked by her sister’s dead.

3. Parisa doubts that she has what it takes to be a fighter, but knowing that her boyfriend’s life is at stake, she does not hesitates to take a challenge. Her courage earns the magic power stored in an ancient pendant, which must be wisely used. This is a great help, but she still has to do the fighting.

4. Parisa is not a superhero. She outsmarts her most deadly opponents. She learns to use her environment as a weapon, for example, she hides in the desert sand, she punts and lifts the desert sand to the face of opponents, she improvises weapons out of clothes, a fire extinguisher, the wheelchair’s wheel spokes. She figures out that to defeat her enemy, she cannot play by his rules, but she must make her own rules.

5. The performance of female MMA fighters has proved to attract a wide audience around the world. From the visual and technical perspective, in this movie, the level of physical skill, acrobatics, variety of fighting skill and weapons is not only rich and performed at a higher level, but also spectacularly supported with roof top and inside the cage Parkour maneuvers.

6. The link between dancing and fighting, was first proposed by French King Louis XIV, who ordered his army to learn ballet. In this movie, the generalization: “The way you dance, the way you fight” is supported through comparison between salsa and Latin steps with Chinese wrestling and Capoeira; also, a comparison of boxer Prince Naseem Hamed cool dance moves with his fighting style; last, the display “Spirit of the Warrior” offers samples of dances and activities derived from the marital arts in different cultures from around the world. In the movie, Parisa’s dance teachers later reveal as masters of Chinese wrestling and Brazilian Capoeira.

7. Parisa learns that people fight the way they dance, so being a sports rhythmics champion, her martial arts coaches exploit her strengths and make a unique fighter out of her in short time.

8. Parisa knows how to dance. Oh, she not only dances, but she also looks fantastic in her Latin and salsa dress. Then, when the Capoeira students invite her to breakdance, she gets on the floor and, as a former gymnast, she’s just like a fish in the water.

9. During the weigh-in and stare-down ceremony, Parisa and her first opponent start a fight. To escape from her, Parisa runs through the live display “The Spirit of the Warrior” which has samples of activities, games, dances, and sports derived from the martial arts of the world. Parisa skillfully joins the Peking Opera flying spears, Thailand Takraw, Lion Dance on poles, and more.

10. The pendant is part of a legend —all fantasy, of course — about the last group of Persian warriors who, outnumbered by their enemy, they hid in a cave and died. Hundreds of years later, people located the cave. A gem stone was found inside and encrusted on a pendant. Legend (fantasy) has it that the gem stone is the spirit of those warriors. If the pendant finds you worth of it, it would give you immense power.

11. Parisa dies. Regardless of her courage and having the power of the magic pendant, she is human, not-yet a master of the martial arts, but a woman set to rescue the man she loves, so she loses to her greatest fear: heights. Parisa falls from a scaffold that her enemy devised in order to put her at a disadvantage. She is later brought back to life using the pendant.

12. Fred Corner, a drunkard who appears as a bet collector in the underground fights, he happens to be the leader of an ultra secret organization with high-tech weaponry and resources. Unknown to the audience, they had protected Parisa from the very start, except when they lost track of her in the desert.

Thanks to Fred, Parisa gets to know that: “There’s no better time to be brave than when you’re scared to the bone!” Then, Fred raises his bottle and downs a mouthful. “To courage, ma’am!” This lesson not only helps her unlock the power of the pendant, but also becomes her battle cry: “To courage!”

Character hooks: 1, 3, 4, 7, 8

Story hooks: 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Antonio Flores.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Antonio Flores.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Antonio Flores.

[Anita Gomez]

Marketing Day 8

Anita Has Lots of Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment:

Danica Brahms: 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 13, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 37, 38, 40, 47, 51, 56, 58, 59, 62, 63, 65

Harley Wozniak: 25, 34, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 49, 52, 54, 60, 66, 69

Cyrus Kilner: 5, 7, 30, 31, 36, 39, 55, 61, 64, 70, 71

Make a list of ALL the hooks in your script.

1. Look through your script and make a list of all the hooks in your story. Number them.

1) VO – I should have died that day

2) Woman giving birth alone

3) Woman almost dies in childbirth

4) Danica introduced as super ambitious and successful

5) Cyrus introduced – a real player

6) Danica confronts Cyrus: “I’m pregnant”

7) He wants her to have an abortion

8) She quits her high-powered job

9) Danica’s sister Rebecca is super mom

10) Danica informs her sister Becky she’s pregnant and getting an abortion

11) Becky lays religious guilt trip on Danica

12) Danica goes to empty church and gets no help or answers

13) Danica leaves the state, considers suicide as she drives past Cyrus political billboard

14) Becky hosts prayer meeting in her home; ironically Bible study is all about pregnancy

15) Becky shows first signs of illness (genetic kidney disease)

16) Danica goes to Clinic for abortion

17) Danica’s conscience squeezed by religious protestors

18) Nurse mistakenly does heartbeat ultrasound instead of D&C prep

19) She can’t go through with abortion

20) Danica, hugely pregnant, has new job on bottom rung of legal practice

21) Danica’s apartment is devoid of baby prep

22) Her water breaks

23) Relive birthing scene, where she nearly dies because of only 1 strained kidney

24) Danica lives thru the birth, but rejects her newborn infant

25) Revealed: Baby born with 2 kidneys, but undersized

26) Danica requests pills to dry up her milk, and is judged by the nurse

27) Danica is home but can’t handle being a parent

28) She abandons the baby at a firehouse ‘Safe Haven’

29) Danica bestows only one thing on her daughter – her name, Harley, after Danica’s dad’s nickname

30) Cyrus is elected Judge

31) Both he and his wife Karen shown to be power hungry

32) New Judge Cyrus Kilner presides over an adoption proceeding – unbeknown to him, it’s his biological daughter, Harley

33) Irene & Peter Wozniak are doting adoptive parents

34) 7 years later: Harley’s birthday – frying ants she’s showing first real signs of psychological problems

35) Kilner nearly hit by a car (foreshadowing)

36) Cyrus sworn in as Appellate Court Judge

37) Danica, now an a women’s rights advocacy lawyer loses a case that would have allowed a teenager to have an abortion

38) She runs into Cyrus in the courthouse & brushes him off

39) Cyrus at home has shouting match with wife and teenaged son revealing his “perfect family” is a sham

40) Danica makes Partner in a prestigious law firm

41) Harley’s given a HS grad present (new car) from her parents

42) Harley attends homecoming game and poisons the school mascot, a bulldog

43) Harley’s parents are told by school she is troubled and needs help

44) Harley tells parents she’s been accepted into MIT and all is swept under the rug

45) Harley’s offered a prestigious job in a genetics lab

46) On her first day she’s shown to be clinically detached, with no emotions about animal experiments

47) Danica shows remorse over not having children (Christmastime)

48) At sister Becky’s, we are sure Becky is very sick

49) Harley has cold unemotional sex with co-worker, Josh

50) Harley uses lab to discover the identity of her biological parents

51) At Becky’s house – who is now gravely ill – Danica reveals she never had an abortion and that Harley exists

52) Harley discovers she’s pregnant and takes “Plan B” pills

53) Josh finds out and confronts Harley

54) She informs him she had an abortion and he freaks. She kicks him out

55) Cyrus appointed 5^th Circuit Court Judge, putting him in Danica’s professional orbit again

56) Danica starts showing signs of kidney disease

57) Rebecca dies

58) Danica told by doctor she needs a kidney transplant or will die

59) Danica researches online and discovers Harley’s location

60) Harley reads about her aunt’s death and decides to research her parents’ health and hatches a plan to get Cyrus’s kidney for Danica

61) Karen discovers Cyrus has a child (now grown Harley) out of wedlock and leaves him

62) Danica reaches out to Harley

63) Danica assigned to the most important case in her career, to argue against law banning abortions

64) Cyrus is assigned as one of the judges

65) Danica preps for her case; begins arguments; and under the physical and emotional stress passes out

66) Harley watches live stream of court case and sees Danica collapse.

67) Harley puts her plan in motion: to meet her mother and kill her father on the way (hit and run)

68) Danica awakens in the hospital with a new kidney, and totally disoriented

69) Harley arrives and gloats she killed Cyrus for her mom

70) TWIST: Cyrus wasn’t killed, only injured and shows up with the police who arrest Harley

71) It was Cyrus who arranged for Danica’s new kidney

2. Above that, make a list of your lead characters and tell which hooks describe something unique about those characters.