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Day 8 Assignments
Post your assignment by replying here.
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10 Replies
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Emmanuel Sullivan’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is digging deeper and thinking about an intriguing event longer allowed me to change the characters in the event, which made it even more intriguing, and with the pattern exercise, it changed the first episode.
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Daniel Melin’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is how even the big picture components translate down to the more detail-oriented processes. Even when I look for specific sentences to punch up, my mind still goes to bigger picture concerns, like how the agendas of the various characters play out, how to best sequence the episodes, and how to readjust the arc of the overall seasons so the story in the first season is expressed fully.
Original line: She has taken Levi under her wing after he stumbled into her kingdom as a teenage boy, and has been fostering his magical education, but the two will soon be at odds.
A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
Titania sternly advises Levi never to practice magic outside of Everlasting Summer. But with such incredible gifts, why would Titania not want Levi to share them as long as he exercises caution?
C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.
But why is Titania so set on keeping Everlasting Summer a secret? Why has she enchanted young boys into werewolves, and what is her secret vendetta against the deer that roams the woods outside Everlasting Summer?
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done_____.
Levi’s suspicions soon grow, wondering if the paradise that Titania has built isn’t held together by sinister magic.
E. But maybe it is all wrong.
But Levi’s new teacher, Mark, seems to have an axe of his own to grind, and his own vendetta to unseat Titania may not be as honestly motivated as it seems.
F. A pattern that leads to future consequences.
As Levi ignores Titania’s instructions, and performs more and more magic outside of Everlasting Summer, the boundaries between the two worlds begin to crumble, putting the sanity, and the lives, of Athens’ citizens in danger.
G. If he does ________, that means __intrigue__.
If Titania is so bent on secrecy, it may be because she is intent on claiming a new victim.
H. State the mystery.
We know that Titania is using dark magic to preserve Everlasting Summer, but why is she so bent on finally hunting down the deer that has now escaped into Athens?
I. Should be/could be ________, but is even worse.
Titania should be out of luck with Everlasting Summer now revealed to the world, but she only goes confidently towards Mark’s house.
J. Intense Language
Titania has doted on Levi and taught him many things, about magic, but her strictures not to perform any magic outside Everlasting Summer soon grow stifling.
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Renee Brown’s Intrigue patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s ok to be overwhelmed with the amount of work this needs to sharpen the intrigue point. Taking one sentence at a time, along some patient breaths, it can be more of a word play game rather than a stressful objective.
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Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 8: Intrigue Patterns
A. Establish something shocking; When Sam falls into a coma, his estranged son arrives to cut Grace out of Sam’s life.
B. Strong statement: With Sam in a coma, Carlton explores all his options to cut Grace out of his life.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas: As Sam lay in the hospital bed unresponsive, Carlton paced the floor trying to find a way to get rid of Grace.
D. Character 1 is convinced that Character 2 has done: Grace is convinced that Carlton is trying to separate her from Sam.
E. But maybe it is all wrong: With Sam in a coma, Carlton tries to establish a friendship with Grace and causes her to second guess his intentions.
F. A Pattern that leads to future consequences: Grace is suspicious of Carltons’ motives when he arrives unannounced with an attorney.
G. If he does _________, that mean…..intrigue: If Sam would just wake up, he would speak to Carlton and everything would be like it was.
H. State the mystery: Will Sam wake up from the coma before Carlton has cut Grace out of his life?
I. Should be/could be ……but it is even worse: Grace could be paranoid but when the attorney arrives at Sam’s bedside with an eviction notice, she knows she is not.
J. Intense language: With Sam unresponsive, Carlton seizes the opportunity to take control of his affairs and cut Grace out of his life.
What I learned doing this assignment is an exercise to explore options to elevate the TV Bible. And after doing the exercise, I have several places to apply the new knowledge.
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I found this assignment…on the surface it seemed straightforward but then I wasn’t sure whether I was simply repeating what I’d already written without really improving it…and I wasn’t sure about the process used…whether it’s just a different perspective on a previous process…
A. Jess Pearson is an ex-big city senior detective sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation.
B. Jess believes that Sherriff Linda Moore botched the investigation of her brother’s disappearance in similar circumstances five years before.
C. But when Jess uncovers Sheriff Moore’s little black book of actual crime statistics markedly different from the reported ones, she knows the Sheriff is corrupt.
D. And when Jess uncovers a Trafficking Network and the Sheriff’s involvement, she now has even more proof.
E. As Jess digs deeper into the Trafficking Network, she realizes that her boss, Captain Anderson, is also involved.
F. Jess uncovered the Trafficking Network illegally through her hacking skills which leaves her few options but to turn to local architect and artist, Sarah Watson, for advice.
G. Sarah Watson is unusually helpful despite not seeing Jess for five years after their break up.
H. Sarah Watson is a distraction, and Jess must quickly refocus her efforts on solving the recent murders and the disappearance, and that of her brother, Adam’s disappearance, and the two murders five years before.
I. Jess begins to suspect that Sarah Watson is not only involved in the Trafficking Network but is connected to both murders.
J. Jess wonders how far she’ll get in her quest to take over Sheriff Moore’s small, but powerful office.
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Molly McNeal’s Intriguing patterns
What I learned is that I can take it one sentence at a time. And I think I did the first paragraph of my character description.
Portland, OR occupational Therapy Assistant Gwenn Forrester is hopeful that she will be hired at a neglectful skilled nursing facility in order to pay off her huge student loan debt, but will she risk her morals to get ahead? As a people pleaser Gwenn finds it hard to complete tasks she was told were illegal in school and put her patients lives at risk. Will her risky behavior put her and the company she works for in danger or in risk of going to jail? Or will she rat out the company she works for in order to do what is morally right? If she does it will put her career at risk and cause suspicion of elder abuse in accordance with the state making it even harder to get power of attorney of her mothers financials.
I am pretty sure it’s still terrible but better than I had before.
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Donna Stockwell’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is how interesting it is to invent a new perspective.
Original: Ben knows he is good at his job, so why does he let two women get the best of him.
A. Ben has been the best district salesman in security sales for the last 5 years, so why does he let two women, his boss and his wife, get the best of him?
B. Ben needs to prove to himself that he can control women every time his wife and his boss berate him… this is where it helps to helps the best district salesman in home security.
C. Ben looks at his award for being the best district salesman in home security as his boss berates him. “I’m not going to take this from you,” he whispers under his breath.
D. Ben’s boss looks at his dirty shoes as he walks into the cleanest sales office for home security.
E. Ben Harper was meant for better things than an ungrateful wife and demanding boss, and he finds satisfaction on Starr Street, where every girl leans in his car and begs to service him.
F. Things with the prostitute went to far, and Ben Harper need to disguise himself as his brother, the grave digger at Greenmeadows Cemetery.G. If Ben Harper hears one more negative word from his boss that he is not selling enough volume and one more word from him demanding wife to fix the house, he’s going to get some hard-core satisfaction on Starr Street.
H. Ben Harper sells surveillance systems by day, and returns at night to those who do not purchase a system.
Cruising Starr Street after a loathsome day should be satisfying, but appalling nature begets appalling nature.
J. Ben Harper needs to bring women to his knees, especially after that appalling scene he had with his wife and boss today.
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NORENE SMILEY – MOD 2, LESSON 8 ASSIGNMENT – INTRIGUE PATTERNS
What I learned from this assignment: There are many ways to unveil the same information. Some work better than others. I am finding it hard to choose, so I wrote a composite.
Sample line from Pitch Bible:
But Pip couldn’t be more wrong. There are signs that things are not as they should be and The Keep is feeling the strain. The walls groan all night long. The collections are acting out and disrupting the order of things. No matter how much Bardo reinforces the barricades, he can tell they are failing. Bardo is forced to tell Pip the awful truth.
Chosen Revision using Intrigue Patterns:
But Pip couldn’t be more wrong. There is change in the air. The walls groan and wail in the night. The corridors shutter, change direction, or disappear altogether. Wherever Pip goes, the collections chatter. When the goats refuse to eat and the button repository mutinies and rattles madly through the halls, Bardo orders her to keep away and stick to reinforcing the seals protecting The Keep. But even this is a disaster. Every time Pip secures a holding charm or anchors a latch, it springs ajar or fizzles into a sad puddle as soon as she turns her back.
And Bardo won’t talk to her. Won’t look her in the eye. He lurks and sneaks, mutters darkly. When he stays up all night sharpening his knives and crying in his beard, the hairs on the back of Pip’s neck buzz like hornets. Bardo is forced to tell her the awful truth.
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What I learned by this assignment: I’m getting worn down by all the processes, but just having the list above each section makes my writing stronger. Here’s the final season and end of the Pitch Bible.
Season 5: “At the Border” Char falls for Romee, double-crosses Henry, contacts Romee and convinces her that she has the money in the family, and could present evidence at court that would cause Henry to go back to jail. But a U.S. hate group kidnaps them, meets up with the Dutch gang, and plans to blow up border holding facilities in Texas and Greece. While they’re trying to escape, they discover the group’s plans, and instead of escaping, find a way to alert U.S. Customs and Border Protection. During this, Char and Romee become lovers and Henry is forever tormented; however, during the operation, Romee secretly contacts Henry, telling him that she had one of his hairs tested—he’s not her father. She says she hasn’t slept with Char yet, but can’t hold her off much longer. She suggests that they kill Char during the border operation, and make it look like an accident, so he will inherit her pension and they can live in sexual bliss. They start to plan, and it all leads up to the killing while the hate group plants the bombs. Henry, it turns out, can’t go through with killing his wife, and has worn a wire and had a sting where Romee and both the Dutch gang and U.S. hate group are arrested. He goes back to Char.
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Madeleine Vessel’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is by using intrigue patterns, I can change a bland line into something much more interesting and intriguing.
Here’s the line I want to make more intriguing: “A risk averse art history professor competes with a ruthless Russian art thief to find a cache of masterpieces stolen during the Bolshevik Revolution …
A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
All Sophie wants to do is to stick to the rules imposed on her by the U. S. witness protection program, but one little mistake in front of a Russian art thief competing with her over a cache of Old Russian Masters, missing since the Bolshevik Revolution, could send her back to square one.
B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
Sophie has successfully abided by the rules of witness protection for twenty years, but a near fatal attack on Zhora by a Russian art thief looking for a cache of Old Russian Masters could mean they’re true identities have been exposed.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..
Sophie has advanced her career as an art history professor under an assumed name while living in witness protection. So why does a Russian art thief have an interest in her? And what is he grooming her for?
D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.
Sophie believes her father, Zhora, has been living quietly and abiding by witness protection rules for twenty years until he is gunned down by two Russian goons. Now, she suspects their cover is blown.
E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Sophie and Zhora lead quiet lives, she as a respected art history professor and he as a Russian translator, but suddenly something seems to be wrong. Zhora is nearly killed by Russian gunmen, who then burgle Sophie’s house.
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences
Sophie lives a quiet, respected life as an art history professor until her father, Zhora, is gunned down by Russians, who then burgle Sophie’s house. What are the Russians after?
G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.
Just because Zhora is nearly killed by Russian goons and Sophie’s house gets burgled doesn’t mean their witness protection identities have been blown, does it?
H. State the mystery.
Who are the Russians who gunned down Zhora and burgled Sophie’s house? Could they be enemies from Zhora’s FSB past? Or is something else going on here?
I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.
It’s a Russian defector’s success story that Sophie and Zhora have built new, successful lives in the U. S. while living in witness protection, but now that Zhora is struggling to overcome his attack and Sophie is trying to keep burglars at bay, their struggles to be normal may have been for naught.
J. Intense language.
Sophie and Zhora defected to the U. S. and learned to live under new identities in witness protection. What did they do that demanded they escape Russia?
I added “A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean” to the concept section. Later, I will rewrite the concept using this new line.
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