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Day 9 Assignment
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David’s Twists and Turns
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” It is difficult to make twists in a script that has a plot already written. One is trapped in a sequence of events. It may be easier to plan ups and downs as one writes the scripts and then twist them in the opposite direction.
OPENING: ORIGIN OF TREASURE – FLASHBACK HISTORY.
INQUISITOR’S GOLD ROOM – TAMPICO – 1790
Show a room with starving Indians, whip marks, some bodies piled in the corner. Then an Inquisitor in his black robe and cowl gorging himself with food and drink while the Indians look at the food. Then pan to the gold room with glittering gems and shining gold, worked on by more starving Indians.
DECK SANTA ELENA – STORM
Begin showing the Santa Elena leaving port under full sail, a magnificent ship. Then cut to the Santa Elena in the storm, rigging falling, masts gone, decks awash, sailors panicking. Then the action with the Inquisitors and Conquistadores.
or
OPENING: Late night. Dark street. Old church. A few cars parked. Closed shops.
A priest is working late, putting out hymnals etc. A cowled, robed monk enters. Greets priest . Priest invites him in. They chat pleasantly. Monk is open and friendly. Priest asks what order the monk is in. “Tribunal del Santo Oficio de la Inquisición” the monk answers. Priest thinks. “I haven’t heard of that one” – thinks some more -Wasn’t that the Spanish Inquisition?”. “Yes indeed” the monk answers and stabs the priest in the belly.
INCITING INCIDENT: Paul, an 18-year-old high school student, tries to enter the church, now surrounded by police.
Paul is questioned by a Sargent who ends up questioning him at the other three murders Paul becomes involved in. The cop becomes increasingly suspicious and angry.
UNCLE JACK’S BOAT: Paul visits him and the theme is stated.
Real men don’t read books. They work at manly jobs.
UNCLE JACK’S HOUSE: An old house from the outside.
Paul rushes over from the church. Throws open the door and yells: “There’s been a murder”: and sees the blood-stained, ransacked house.
PAUL’S SCHOOL: Paul leaving school. Suddenly, power off. Walks downstairs. Spooky noises, flitting shapes. Skeleton on door of Biology Lab. Reaches bottom – sighs with relief.
Door slams open. Beaten by Cult member. Threatened with knife. What is the secret of the map?
MIDPOINT: Paul learns that his family is searching for a treasure ship and a murderous Cult is in competition.
Paul is relieved. Paul thinks they are going to tell him that he must go live with his grandmother.
CULTS BAYOU HOUSE: A dark, creepy open area next to the old house. Chains hanging from trees.
The Grand Inquisitor is having tea with two Cultists on the porch. Very social. A family with a little girl is sitting on the grass below. They are subdued. The GI then gives them a short talk on being disloyal and trying to leave the Cult. He beats on a tree trunk partly in the water and alligators come out and eat the chained screaming family.
UNCLE JACK’S HOUSE: Jack has disappeared. Paul is approaching the house and sees the man who was following him through the window. He is sitting at a table sharpening an axe.
Paul grabs a club and quietly opens the door. Paul raises the club and is about to hit the man over the head. A hand reaches out and grabs Paul’s wrist. It is Jack. He has returned. The man is Lenny who has joined the treasure hunters.
LATER:
There is a strong suspicion that Lenny belongs to the Cult. Paul can’t figure how or why Lenny joined his group. They find that Lenny’s father was the man who died when Paul’s father turned back to rescue him and died in the same explosion.
CULT PARTY: A house in town surrounded by a tall fence. A student -party given by some Cult children who have, maybe, a suspicion of something going on, but don’t know the full story, yet.
Paul is trying to sneak into the party, because he fears it may be a trap. He climbs the back fence. As soon as he gets above it, a horrible demon with blazing eyes and roaring mouth leaps at his face. Paul falls to the ground and the demon morphs into an ugly dog.
Sandy is trapped in a room with two-Cultists who are about to assault her. She is rescued by Santiago, who has been Paul’s nemesis all through school, but is fond of Sandy. He keeps Paul from being held by the Cult, and turns Sandy over to him.
FIRST TREASURE HUNT: Divers down. Search pattern squares being filled in.
A diver pops up. Holding a gold coin. “We found it”. Jack takes the coin, snaps it in two. “A Mardi Gras doubloon”.
PAUL’S MOTHER: A quiet, timid person through most of the script.
She tells Paul she knew of the treasure hunt and the fight with the Cult. She planted a time bomb that killed the Cultist that murdered her grandfather.
Paul’s mother gets angry when she finds the Jack had valuable historic letters related to the treasure and a gold, jeweled cross taken from the Inquisitor Navigator when he was killed. She demands these be sold and the treasure hunt stopped.
PAUL’S FEAR: Spiders of any kind. Jack keeps a large tarantula in a terrarium on his boat. All through the script Paul won’t go any nearer to it than he has to. The terrarium is broken when the Cult rams Jack’s boat. The tarantula is loose on the boat.
During the attack at the second treasure hunt, Paul flips the spider on one of the Cultists and he is so frightened that he jumps overboard.
Paul’s only weapon is a flare gun loose on the deck. He goes for it, but the tarantula is sitting on it. Paul pushes it away and gets the gun.
After the Cult is defeated, Paul’s group is exhausted. Paul wants one more dive. They can’t do it. Paul sees the tarantula loose on the deck, picks it up and puts it back. The group is reenergized and goes for one last dive.
I am toying with the idea that at the current end, when Paul has the girl, the treasure and the respect of everyone around him; to have a Grand Grand Inquisitor, hinted at in the script, appear. He would trap Paul and Sandy and attack them, burn the building etc. Then Paul would defeat him.
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P.S. Scott Myers in 30 -Days of Screenplays, vol 1 showed why North by Northwest was a plot full of holes and wouldn’t work when you thought about it. Even the writers knew it.
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Rachelle’s Twists and Turns
What I learned… Had a new/old character pop up, Cyn and Jules’ father. Originally I didn’t have him in mind for anything special, but I may need to develop him. As far as I know, the story is laid out pretty much how I want it. I’m not sure exactly what the thriller map is supposed to look like, but I’ve figured out a way of documenting my map that works for me.
I just put a twist into every scene, whether or not it was an exciting one. I have this habit of getting <b style=””>really detailed at the beginning of my writing, going over it 100 times, but don’t put as much effort into the end of the writing. I’m going to try working the next assignment from different points in the script, working backwards or potentially starting in the middle.
- A sick woman lies in a hospital bed in her own home. Her caretaker enters (no highly identifiable clothing or features) and injects a fluid into her I.V. The woman’s eyes go wide as she dies staring at her killer. PGS 1-3
Twist: It looks like someone is entering the room to care for the sick woman, but they end up killing her.
- Cyn is photographing a crime scene similar to the one we’ve just witnessed. She’s all questions, because it doesn’t look like a murder. “Just take the pictures sweetheart, and let the big boys do the hard thinking.” When she’s finished her forensics, she ducks into the bathroom to indulge in her addiction. PGS 3-7
Twist: Cyn is professional and great at her job, but when she is triggered she reaches for a habit we don’t expect her to have.
- Cyn is at her L.A. loft when there is a knock at the door. It is one of the officers who was present earlier, but didn’t stick up for her. He gives her a hard time about not standing up for herself. They drink together and have pornographic sex. PGS 7-11
Twist: Cyn’s lover appears to be a potential ally, but reveals a pattern involving her interactions with men.
- In the morning Cyn wakes up alone. Bleary-eyed she answers a phone call from her sister Jules, “Christ, it’s 4 a.m. (time zones)” Jules tells her that their mother has passed and Cyn needs to come home to execute the will. “I’ll see what I can do.” Jules is furious at her lack of concern. PGS 11-12
Twist: Cyn wakes up to an alarming phone call, but isn’t surprised by the circumstances. Her sister is bereft and appears longing for her presence, but lashes out with verbal venom.
- Jules is at home, the same home we saw earlier in which the sick woman died. Her boyfriend Xander is there when she gets off the phone with Jules. He brings her a cup of coffee and dries her eyes. He’s the only one she can count on. He helps her figure out how to get her sister home; through deception. What is this plan? Jules will tell Cyn she’s engaged and pregnant, that she really needs her right now. PGS 12-15
Twist: Jules is upset because Cyn won’t take responsibility and come home to execute the will. She lies to her in a last ditch effort to get Cyn to come to VT.
- Cyn shows up to a crime scene stumbling drunk. She tries to maintain, but it’s obvious her past and present have merged. She is dismissed, forced on leave, but not fired. She won’t tell anyone what’s going on with her. Her policeman lover might have spilled the beans and people know her mother has passed and this is the sympathetic approach they take. PGS 15-20
Twist: Cyn had always been responsible with her work, but the consequences of her addiction make her choose between her job and facing her past.
- Cyn is alone in her apartment ruminating, getting fucked up alone. Maybe she should go home and face the music. PGS 20-25
Twist: She is depressed and on a suicidal, self-harm track, but something causes her to realize this is what she needs to do.
- Cyn is up in the air circling Burlington International, waiting to land in the worst snow storm of the decade. PG 25
Twist: Plane may crash, but lands safely.
- Jules picks her up at the airport. She’s pissed. Cyn is drunk. Jules has had to take care of their mother for years while Cyn gets to go out and live the life of her dreams. They go home and Cyn passes out in her old room. PG 25-26
Twist: They have a happy reunion at the airport which turns sour due to Cyn being drunk and Jules having to be the grown-up.
- Cyn wakes up to an empty house. She ventures into their mother’s room, still intact with a hospital bed, I.V. bags, and meds all around. She checks the meds for anything she might like to have. She gets her camera and photographs the scene. Jules catches her, tells her she’s sick. PG 26-30
Twist: Cyn thought she was alone until Jules showed up and gave her hell. Jules banishes her from the house.
- Cyn shows up on her father’s doorstep. She meets her step-mother for the first time and really wants to hate her, but ends up liking her. They go into her psychology suite and discuss what’s bothering Cyn. Cyn puts her things in their guest bedroom. PGS 30-35
Twist: Cyn enters her father’s house bitter about the past, wanting to hate her step-mother, but ends up cultivating a relationship with her.
- Cyn goes to see the lawyer to go over the will. Her mother left everything to her, with specific instructions – Don’t sell the house. She’s got a lump sum of money, which she takes to see her old flame Alex. PGS 35-40
Twist: Cyn walks in thinking her inheritance is basically nothing, but leaves with quite a lot.
- Cyn finds Alex at some shitty dive bar. He’s surprised to see her. She coaxes him into the bathroom, asks him if he’s still got connections, and shows him her wad. Party montage. PGS 40-47
Twist: Maybe Cyn calls her sister to tell her everything is sorted out and we think she is going back to jules’ house, but she ends up going to the bar instead.
- Cyn wakes up at Jules’ house, hungover, surprised and relieved that this is where she ended up last night. She looks over the photos she took of her mother’s death suite and finds something unusual. She is sure what she sees implicates Jules in their mother’s death. She searches her belongings and finds a gun. PGS 47-49
Twist: Cyn wakes up haggard, casually going over her forensic photos and then we see her with a gun.
- Cyn thinks she’s home alone in the kitchen, Googling the many ways to kill someone with prescription narcotics. Jules surprises her, “Planning to sneaky murder someone?” Cyn is startled, shaken. “I’m just trying to figure out what you did to mom.” Jules has a look of genuine horror on her face, that Cyn would even think such a thing. Cyn interrogates her at gunpoint, breaks down the crime scene, laying out the facts indisputably until Jules is convinced that their mother was indeed murdered. But she didn’t do it! PGS 49-54
Twist: Cyn doing simple research until Jules enters and the interrogation at gunpoint begins.
- The more Cyn probes, the more she figures out who else had access and motive – Xander. Now she’s got a real case on her hands. Where do they find him? Jules doesn’t know, because he always came over to her house, insisted upon it. They take their evidence to the police. PGS 54-55
Twist: They think they’ve figured out the mystery, but they don’t know who Xander is, not even Jules.
- Cyn and Jules at the police station. There is someone in a car watching them. It’s Alex, he takes out his phone and calls someone we don’t see, but maybe we hear a voice on the other end. PGS 56-58
Twist: There is a sense of victory when Cyn and Jules enter the police station followed by the depressing realization that it’s not over yet.
- Cyn goes to see her stepmother, to get something off her chest. It all happened so fast, she didn’t think Jules was capable of such a thing and then found out she really wasn’t and then found out there’s this mystery man who’s responsible for it all. Stepmother could offer medication to help her cope. Cyn thinks, “No, maybe it’s time to keep my wits about me.” When Cyn leaves, her step-mother makes a phone call. PGS 58-62
Twist: Cyn is offered medication and refuses it.
- Cyn goes over to Alex’s house, feeling confident, sure and proud of herself. He offers her drugs she doesn’t take. He figures out a way to manipulate and drug her anyway. They talk about all that’s happened the last few days. She says she doesn’t care about the money, she’d give it all away. Alex talks to her about making a deal in which she donates her inheritance to a charitable organization (presumably run by him or his mother). PGS 62-67
Twist: Cyn shows up at Alex’s with a fresh outlook on life, but ends up being taken advantage of in the same old ways. Potential reveal between relationships not previously understood.
- Cyn wakes up in jail with no recollection of how she got there. Her head is throbbing. As soon as the guard realizes she is awake he calls for a sergeant who takes her to an interrogation room. They question her about the whereabouts of her sister, who she didn’t know was missing. It seems she is now a suspect in her mother’s murder and subsequent disappearance of her sister. PGS 68-75
Twist: Cyn wakes up on the wrong side of the law believing she’s been wrongfully implicated, but all signs point to her guilt.
- Cyn is back in her communal cell, they can only hold her for so long, she knows. One of her cell-mates appears dead and she calls the guard, but they do nothing. Cyn runs through the last week out loud, presumably speaking to the ‘corpse’ in the room only to find out this woman was passed out on drugs. The woman wakes up and makes the connection that Xander is Alex. PGS 75-85
Twist: It looks as though our hero has failed, but she figures out the biggest mystery of all – the connection between Alex and Xander – they are the same person.
- Cyn is released into her father’s care. She meets with her stepmother. Something in their meeting causes her to realize she may be connected to Alex (a phrase repeated). She excuses herself to go back to Jules’ house. PGS 85-90
Twist: Cyn is broken and we expect her to go home, lie down, succumb to her addictions as she always does, but something has changed in her.
- Cyn gets to Jules’ house and finds Jules there, alive. Both sisters are elated to see each other, “Where were you?” “Where were YOU?” They exchange the details of their whereabouts and make a plan to take down Xander and his mother. PGS 90-95
Twist: Their exchange seems confrontational at first, like each feels abandoned by the other, but they understand their common foe and what they must do to succeed.
- Cyn goes to see Alex, distraught, she doesn’t know where Jules is. How is she going to get through this without him (out-con the con). She will fool him into partying together and drug him the way he drugged her until she can do what she wants with him. PGS 95-100
Twist: Cyn appears to be distraught and reverting to her old ways but she fools Alex into submission.
- Jules goes to their dad’s house. He knows why she’s there. He lets her in and she subdues her stepmother. PGS 100-105
Twist: Jules goes to their fathers house and enlists his help, her stepmother does not suspect what’s coming.
- There is a car accident where we see Alex/Xander and his mother crash into a tree. PG 106
Twist: There is a car crash, but they live.
- Alex/Xander and his mother open their eyes in the psychology study at Cyn and Jules’ father’s house. They are badly bruised with broken bones, etc. Both have I.V.s They wake to see Cyn, Jules, and their father staring back at them in caretaker outfits ready to take care of them. PGS 106-110
Twist: We think Alex/Xander and his mother have died in the car crash, but they wake up in hospital beds under the father’s care. We realize that their recovery might not be swift and merciful at all.
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O’Keefe – Twists & Turns – Day 9
DAY NINE – ASSIGNMENT
[1] What I learned doing this assignment is how each step, each layer helps bring the plot, characterization, even dialogue together in a fluid and seemingly organic manner. I agree with David, much easier to use this process before, not after you have written a script.
[II] Build Twists throughout your story. (see below)
ACT ONE pg. 01
Scene 1: INT. CAMARO – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino in Cindy’s car having sex.
2. Life Threatening situation: they could be caught by cops
3. Mystery: Why is Cindy having an affair a student?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
Twist 1:
Direction: Two people having sex in a car
Twist: she takes off wedding ring, sets it on dash – #11 Just got more dangerous
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SCENE 2: EXT. CINDY’S HOME – NIGHT (24 HOURS EARLIER)
1. Action: Cindy is being spied on by 2 different men.
2. Life Threatening situation: one man has a knife, the other hidden cameras in her bedroom. 3. Mystery: why did man w/ knife plant a candy wrapper. Why does the second man have hidden cameras in Cindy’s bedroom.
4. Villain’s plan: man w/ knife is leaving clues to be found.
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SCENE 3: INT. CAMARO – RESUME
1. Action: Dino & Cindy talk after sex; he’s her side piece.
2. Life Threatening situation: Cindy’s hubby shoots Dino.
3. Mystery: Why is Cindy having an affair w/ her student?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 4: NIGHTMARE INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING
1. Action: Dino is being threatened by man w/a gun.
2. Life Threatening situation: Might be shot
3. Mystery: who is the man and why that dream?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 5: INT. BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino is awakened by step-dad pounding on door.
2. Life Threatening situation: Threat of physical harm.
3. Mystery: Why the hostility.
4. Villain’s plan: NA – reveal Jim’s hatred of step-son.
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SCENE 6: INT. BATHROOM – MORNING
1. Action: Dino grooms himself, gets ready for school.
2. Life Threatening situation: none
3. Mystery: what’s the bracelet have to do w/ his gramps?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 7: EXT. BACK PORCH – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino takes memory chip from nanny cam & leaves. 2. Life Threatening situation: riding that bike in am traffic
3. Mystery: What is with the nanny cam?
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 8: INT. MASTER BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Step-dad points pretend gun at Dino as he leaves.
2. Life Threatening situation: intended harm to Dino
3. Mystery: What is the “surprise” he has in store for Dino.
4. Villain’s plan = some kind of nasty surprise
Twist 2:
Direction: Step dad watches Dino ride off on his Ducati
Twist: Step dad points pretend gun at Dino – #10 step dad’s evil side
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SCENE 9: EXT. LIVINGSTON – MINUTES LATER
1. Action: Dino riding his Ducati to school.
2. Life Threatening situation: car runs a stop sign.
3. Mystery: why does he ride that bike.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 10: EXT. ROSEMONT HIGH SCHOOL – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino weaves thru traffic, parks the bike.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why does he ride so reckless.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 11: EXT/INT. CLASSROOM – MORNING
1. Action: Dino meets new teacher; Cindy’s gone. Guilt!
2. Life Threatening situation: They know; he’ll be expelled
3. Mystery: why the new teacher won’t elaborate
4. Villain’s plan: NA
Twist 3:
Direction: Dino goes to call it off; finds Cindy is gone; replaced
Twist: Dino did not expect this – #8 the affair, a mistake haunts them
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SCENE 12: INSERT – NEWSPAPER STREAMER
1. Action: Mrs. Lozano Murdered! Husband Finds Body In Bed 2. Life Threatening situation: Dino might be next
3. Mystery: who killed her and why
4. Villain’s plan: NA
Twist 4:
Direction: Dino reads newspaper, learns Cindy’s been murdered
Twist: not fired; killed- #13 she’s murdered – worst possible thing happens
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SCENE 13: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Stunned, Dino winds up at his book locker
2. Life Threatening situation: a suspect,
3. Mystery: Why was she murdered.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 14: FLASHBACK – INT. CAMARO – LAST NIGHT
1. Action: Cindy pulls up to a store; Dino kids with her.
2. Life Threatening situation: none
3. Mystery: what is the pain they share, that links them.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 15: INSERT – TEXT
1. Action: Dino texts Steph, ‘can’t do school. CYL8ER’.
2. Life Threatening situation: he’s a possible suspect
3. Mystery: who killed Cindy and when, after Dino saw her.
4. Villain’s plan: NA (is this the surprise Jim hinted at)
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SCENE 16: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
1. Action: Introduce Leah, Detective on Cindy’s murder.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: not one yet for her
4. Villain’s plan: now in motion
Twist 5:
Direction: Detective on a new case,
Twist: clues left for her in an envelope – #7 new options emerge
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SCENE 17: INSERT – PHOTOGRAPHS
1. Action: Opens envelope w/ photos of Dino & Cindy together. 2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Who is the boy w/ the murder vic?
4. Villain’s plan: Get Leah to investigate Dino; frame him.
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SCENE 18: EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – MID-MORNING
1. Action: Dino parks where Cindy parked last night.
2. Life Threatening situation: possible suspect in murder.
3. Mystery: retraces steps to see if he’s on a camera
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 19: SERIES OF SHOTS:
1. Action: Dino’s recall of times w/ Cindy.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: the good times are gone, like they never were
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 20: INTERCUT: STEPH, GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM; DINO, HIS BIKE
1. Action: Steph calls; says she’s sorry; meet up for lunch
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Who killed Cindy
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 21: INT. POLICE STATION – LATER
1. Action: Leah calls Rodney, tells him she has a lead.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: who is this Dino person & did he do it.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 22: EXT. POLICE STATION – PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah gets on her blue Ducati and leaves.
2. Life Threatening situation: riding a motorcycle
3. Mystery: who is Dino and what is his relationship with Cindy
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 23: EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON
1. Action: Dino straddling his red Ducati on the phone.
2. Life Threatening situation: left semen in Cindy’s car.
3. Mystery: who did it; he fears he is a suspect.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 24: INSERT – FOLDED SHEET OF PAPER
1. Action: Dino makes paper airplane out of exam & flies it.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: his comment reflects his fear and feelings.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 25: EXT. HIGHWAY – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah follows Dino on bike to pizza place.
2. Life Threatening situation: his reckless driving.
3. Mystery: How does he not have any speeding tickets.
4. Villain’s plan: NA
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SCENE 26: EXT/INT. PIZZA PARLOR – LUNCH
1. Action: Leah parks, follows Dino in, sees the gang.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why does he give Steph & Jerome $
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 27: EXT. PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah introduces herself; Dino flirts.
2. Life Threatening situation: he wants to take her racing.
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 28: EXT. COASTAL HIGHWAY – LATER
1. Action: Dino sees Leah following; loses her, pulls off.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: who is she really?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 29: INTERCUT: DINO, ON DUCATI; JEROME, HIS CAR.
1. Action: Dino calls Jerome, gives him her license plate.
2. Life Threatening situation:
3. Mystery: who is she really?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 30: INT. VISITATION ROOM – LATER
1. Action: Dino & Luke talk using memories as a code.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: their code for communicating via memories
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing and eavesdropping on them.
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SCENE 31: INT. CUBBY-HOLE OFFICE – LATER
1. Action: Jim reviews the recording, wants engraving plates.
2. Life Threatening situation: For Leah, if she keeps snooping into his affairs
3. Mystery: why the obsession
4. Villain’s plan: Make Luke give him the engraving plates.
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SCENE 32: EXT. FEDERAL PENITENTIARY – PARKING LOT – LATER
1. Action: Dino hears back from Jerome; Leah’s a detective.
2. Life Threatening situation: fear of incarceration.
3. Mystery: how did she find him so fast?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing and unfolding; Dino’s a suspect
Twist 6:
Direction: Dino does not expect the girl to be a detective
Twist: potential date is a cop – #5 a lie is discovered – her name is Leah, not Maria
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SCENE 33: EXT. PIZZA PARLOR PARKING LOT – 5PM
1. Action: Dino rides up, Leah’s waiting, ride off together.
2. Life Threatening situation: riding across town w/ him.
3. Mystery: there are 3 other men Cindy told Dino about.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing; Dino is now on their radar as a suspect.
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SCENE 34: EXT. CITY STREETS – EVENING
1. Action: Dino races across town; Leah follows.
2. Life Threatening situation: his driving.
3. Mystery: why so reckless.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 35: EXT. RACE TRACK ENTRANCE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino opens gate, goes onto the track.
2. Life Threatening situation: they are about to race.
3. Mystery: Why does he want to drag race,
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 36: SERIES OF SHOTS:
1. Action: Leah & Dino racing.
2. Life Threatening situation: racing their bikes
3. Mystery: why race, what’s it prove
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 37: EXT. RACE TRACK – LATER
1. Action: shows Dino winning every race.
2. Life Threatening situation: racing
3. Mystery: why he is so crazy reckless
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 38: EXT. HIGHWAY – DUSK
1. Action: Dino drives out to Mtn. cabin, Leah follows.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why did he bring her; what are his intentions
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 39: EXT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino parks, Leah parks; tells her they’re friends.
2. Life Threatening situation: alone w/ a murder suspect.
3. Mystery: why are they there.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 40: EXT. TRAIL – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino takes her up to the lake & water falls.
2. Life Threatening situation: ongoing
3. Mystery: Dino shows her the lake and water falls
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
Twist 7:
Direction: Leah does not expect Dino to be so open, honest, romantic
Twist: He takes her to mtns, shows her a waterfall & rainbow #10 unexpected side of someone
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SCENE 41: EXT. LAKE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino points to falls, strips and swims off.
2. Life Threatening situation: awkward, he’s naked, might get hypothermia
3. Mystery: why go to the falls naked.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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ACT TWO page 22
SCENE 1: EXT. ROCK LEDGE – BASE OF THE FALLS – LATER
1. Action: Leah helps Dino out of lake water.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: see this rainbow Dino’s talking about
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 2: EXT. ROCK LEDGE – CONTINUOUS
1. Actions: Dino leads the way in behind the waterfall.
2. Life Threatening situation: Leah slips, almost falls
3. Mystery: this rainbow of Dino’s
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 3: INT. CAVE – LATER
1. Action: Dino & Leah talk re: life, goals, etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: she sees the ax
3. Mystery: this cave from his childhood
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 4: INT. POLICE STATION – INTERROGATION ROOM -DAY
1. Action: Steph lies to cop taking her statement re: Dino.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why is she here
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 5: INT. VIEWING BOOTH – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah watches Steph play the cop, gets pissed.
2. Life Threatening situation: she alibi’s Dino off
3. Mystery: How she knows Leah’s name.
4. Villain’s plan
Twist 8:
Direction: Leah interrogates Steph re: Dino, Steph reveals her name
Twist: Steph knows her name #12 – secret identity uncovered.
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SCENE 6: INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah enters, Steph warns her re: Dino and love.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: How Steph knows her name
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing.
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SCENE 7: INT. POLICE CHIEF’S OFFICE – LATER
1. Action: Leah tells Chief, she has a suspect.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 8: INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA – NOON
1. Action: Bruce hits Steph, Dino floors him, leaves w/ her.
2. Life Threatening situation: fight could escalate to guns
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: NA
Twist 9:
Direction: Leah interrogates Steph re: Dino, Steph reveals her name
Twist: boy punches girl in face #10 – unexpected side of someone
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SCENE 9: EXT. PIZZA PARLOR PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON
1. Action: Leah & Dino argue re: Cindy, Leah’s lie, etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: did Dino know who she was from the start
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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ACT THREE page 31
SCENE 1: INT. CHARGER – EARLIER IN THE DAY
1. Action: Dino treats Steph’s wound, needs stitches.
2. Life Threatening situation: subdural hematoma
3. Mystery: their bond, friendship but not amorous
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 2: INT. DIRTY BOURBON – LATER
1. Action: Leah introduces herself. Show’s Dino’s photo.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why Dino was there and with whom
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 3: INT. OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah & owner talk re: Dino and last Wednesday.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why Dino comes in, just to dance?
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 4: INT. BOWLING ALLEY – AFTERNOON
1. Action: Steph & Jerome talk re: Dino & her and life.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Dino handles life’s problems w/ sex.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 5: EXT/INT. THOMAS RESIDENCE – LATER
1. Action: Leah calls on Grace, Dino’s mom.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Mom’s relationship w/ her son, Dino & husband, Jim
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 6: INT. CUBBY-HOLE OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Jim watches them via hidden camera.
2. Life Threatening situation: Leah is in his sights
3. Mystery: How does Jim know Dino’s been w/ Cindy.
4. Villain’s plan: will keep feeding Leah clues
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SCENE 7: INSERT – NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS
1. Action: Shows Dino’s Dad’s capture and imprisonment.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: who is he keeping them
4. Villain’s plan: to get Luke to hand over the plates.
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SCENE 8: INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah tells Grace about Dino’s affair w/ Cindy
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: How did Jim know Dino was w/ Cindy.
4. Villain’s plan: feed Leah more clues re: Dino.
—————————-
SCENE 9: INT. CUBBY-HOLE OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Jim watches, says something cryptic
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: ongoing
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 10: EXT. BAR – PARKING LOT – SAT. NIGHT (FEB 10TH)
1. Action: Leah rides up, asks Dino to go eat w/ him.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: their chemistry and attraction
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 11: EXT. ACROSS THE STREET – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: We see a dark sedan
2. Life Threatening situation: someone watching them
3. Mystery: Who are they watching: Dino or Leah
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 12: INT. SEDAN – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney w/ camera captures Leah & Dino together. 2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why she is getting so close to him
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
Twist 10:
Direction: Rodney is spying on his partner, not Dino
Twist: Rodney and Leah should be a team #3 Someone changes sides
—————————-
SCENE 13: SERIES OF SHOTS:
1. Action: Dino’s erratic behavior & dangerous stunts.
2. Life Threatening situation: his driving
3. Mystery: Why he drives like that
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 14: EXT. DINO’S HOUSE – BACK PORCH – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino parks bike; Jim comes out, drunk, mad etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: Jim tries to hit Dino
3. Mystery: why drunk;
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
Twist 11:
Direction: Dino tries to avoid his drunk step-dad, Leah sees it all
Twist: Dino kisses Leah after the altercation #4 A new problem occurs
==================================================================
ACT FOUR page 43
SCENE 1: MONTAGE – LEAH & DINO OUT ON THE TOWN
1. Action: caring, gentle side of Dino is revealed.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: their chemistry
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 2: INT. SCHOOL – MORNING (MONDAY, FEBRUARY 12TH)
1. Action: Steph reads Dino riot act for being w/ Leah.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: her anger, then kissing him, conflicted
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 3: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
1. Action: Leah tells Rodney she has 3 suspects via Dino.
2. Life Threatening situation: her involvement w/ Dino
3. Mystery: Rodney can’t figure out why
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing, working
Twist 12:
Direction: Leah confronts her partner re: photos of her
Twist: he did it at the behest of the Chief #9 A trust is violated.
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SCENE 4: FLASHBACK – CEMETERY – MORNING
1. Action: Leah spying on Dino, sees him cry at Cindy’s grave 2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: NA
4. Villain’s plan: NA
—————————-
SCENE 5: INT. POLICE STATION – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney gives Leah file on Dino re: a shooting.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino was shot
3. Mystery: why did the man accuse Dino; then recant
4. Villain’s plan: Ongoing
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SCENE 6: EXT. FOOD TRUCK – NOON (TUES. FEB 13TH)
1. Action: Leah & Dino talk; she brings up Lorraine, he goes
2. Life Threatening situation: He is being framed for murder
3. Mystery: Why won’t he talk to her about Lorraine, leaves
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
Twist 13:
Direction: Leah confronts Dino re: Lorraine
Twist: he freaks, he leaves; doesn’t answer her #4 a new problem occurs
—————————-
SCENE 7: INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
1. Action: upset, Leah calls Dino while lying in bed.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino is upset, volatile
3. Mystery: Lorraine and that situation
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 8: INTERCUT: LEAH IN BED; DINO STANDING WITH HIS BIKE
1. Action: talk re: suspects, video of Dino & Cindy…
2. Life Threatening situation:
3. Mystery: he flies a paper plane w/ Cindy’s photo in it
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
===================================================================
ACT FIVE page 51
SCENE 1: FLASHBACK – FONDUE RESTAURANT – NIGHT
1. Action: Dino tells Leah why he hates “goodbye”
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: he equates the word goodbye w/ death.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 2: EXT. MOUNTAIN MEADOW – VALENTINE’S DAY
1. Action: Leah spying on Dino; he’s asleep.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why is Dino there alone, sleeping
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 3: INT. CRV – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah has flower bouquet for him in car.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Why Dino is there alone on his b-day.
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 4: EXT. MEADOW – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah walks over, sets flowers by Dino & leaves
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: her feelings for him
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
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SCENE 5: INT/EXT. ROSEMONT HIGH SCHOOL – LATER
1. Action: Steph calls tell Dino cops coming, get to her car
2. Life Threatening situation: cops come to arrest Dino
3. Mystery: why, what has changed? New evidence.
4. Villain’s plan: he has gives them more clues against Dino.
Twist 14:
Direction: cops descend on Dino’s school;
Twist: Steph rescues Dino, they leave in her car #13 Worst thing possible happens
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SCENE 6: INT. CHARGER – MINUTE LATER
1. Action: Dino ducks down, Steph leaves, turns his cell off
2. Life Threatening situation
3. Mystery
4. Villain’s plan
—————————-
SCENE 7: INT. STORAGE UNIT – TWO HOURS EARLIER
1. Action: Rodney & Leah enter: find photos, evidence.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why did Dino have this place
4. Villain’s plan: new clues tie murder to Dino
Twist 15:
Direction: Leah & Dino go and investigate a storage unit
Twist: find a bedroom setup, porn-like Dino’s pics #4 A new problem occurs
—————————-
SCENE 8: INT. STORAGE UNIT – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney finds Dino’s knife; it’s his 3rd M.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino is now wanted
3. Mystery: how’d the knife get there & Cindy’s journal
4. Villain’s plan: ties murder around Dino’s neck.
—————————-
SCENE 9: EXT/INT. ROSEMONT HIGH SCHOOL – NINETY MINUTES LATER
1. Action: Rodney leads raid and lock down of Dino’s school. 2. Life Threatening situation: Dino might have a gun.
3. Mystery: Where is Dino?
4. Villain’s plan: working out perfectly
—————————-
SCENE 10: INT. SCHOOL CONCOURSE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: students video everything that happens.
2. Life Threatening situation: Dino might be armed
3. Mystery: where did he go
4. Villain’s plan: working to a tee.
—————————-
SCENE 11: INT. CHARGER – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Steph asks Dino who wanted Cindy dead
2. Life Threatening situation: he is now wanted for her murder
3. Mystery: who is behind it
4. Villain’s plan: he has upped his game
—————————-
SCENE 12: INSERT TEXT
1. Action: Dino rips into Leah re: school raid, etc.
2. Life Threatening situation: he’s now wanted APB on him
3. Mystery: what changed, what new evidence came up
4. Villain’s plan: working perfectly.
—————————-
SCENE 13: INT. CHARGER – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Steph gets idea; it’s Jim; he’s a hater.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why does he hates on Dino
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing
—————————-
SCENE 14: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
1. Action: Leah gets Dino’s text; didn’t know school raid.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: what happened at the school, the raid, he escaped
4. Villain’s plan: working perfectly.
—————————-
SCENE 15: INT. CAPTAIN’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Leah confronts Chief; he shows her photos.
2. Life Threatening situation: she could lose her job.
3. Mystery: how did she get so far off target.
4. Villain’s plan: working
—————————-
SCENE 16: INT. CABIN – BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Dino & Steph start to make out.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: Steph seduces Dino, why now
4. Villain’s plan: working
—————————-
SCENE 17: INT. SCHOOL GYMNASIUM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Rodney comes up w/ no Dino; pissed.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: where did he go, who tipped Dino off.
4. Villain’s plan: working
—————————-
SCENE 18: INT. MASTER BATHROOM – DAY
1. Action: Jim puts his bottle of oxy in medicine cabinet.
2. Life Threatening situation: for the wife, Grace
3. Mystery: why is he doing this; to get rid of her?
4. Villain’s plan: is escalating,
Twist 16:
Direction: Jim puts the narcotics in the medicine cabinet
Twist: does it to entice Grace; get her to OD #9 A trust is violated
—————————-
SCENE 19: INSERT – LABEL
“Oxycodone, 20 mg. Take one tablet by mouth every six hrs…
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SCENE 20: INT. DINO’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
1. Action: Jim goes in, takes one of his black teeshirts.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why one of his tee shirts
4. Villain’s plan: ongoing and evolving
—————————-
SCENE 21: INT. CABIN – BEDROOM – DAY
1. Action: Dino and Steph making love.
2. Life Threatening situation: NA
3. Mystery: why now, why wait until this moment
4. Villain’s plan: coming to a head
—————————-
SCENE 22: INT. WOMEN’S BATHROOM – SAME
1. Action: Leah mad at herself, vows to catch killer.
2. Life Threatening situation: for Dino perhaps
3. Mystery: Cindy was framing Dino, so did she get betrayed
4. Villain’s plan: working
—————————-
END OF PILOT PAGE 59
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Leo’s Twists and Turns
What I learned is that each mini movie needs at least one twist. I had some, but I hadn’t identified them as such. I added new ones where they were missing. Also, these serve as good endings to acts.
Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure – Matt is a movie star with a life threatening disease.
Current Direction: It appears to be an Indiana Jones style adventure
Twist: No! It’s only actors on a movie set
Life Threatening 1 — Matt has a life-threatening medical condition
Life Threatening 2 — Matt passes out in public
Villain’s Plan 1 — Pretend to not know anything about Matt’s background.
Mini-Movie 2 – Locked into Conflict – Matt tries to locate his dad, Luke, but uncovers mysteries
Current Direction: Sweet old lady offers to help him
Twist: She turns on him when she realizes who he is
Current Direction: Creepy old guy tells him to go away
Twist: He comes back, armed, but willing to talk.
Mystery 1: Where is Luke?
Life Threatening 3 — The floor of his old house has massive blood stain
Mini-Movie 3 – Hero Tries to Solve a Problem, but Fails – Matt looks for his dad, but fails and is attacked.
Mystery 2: Who is Hank?
Life Threatening 4 — Matt is being surveilled by a mysterious man
Life Threatening 5 — Someone shoots arrows at Matt’s car
Life Threatening 6 — Twitter threat – We know you’re looking for your dad. We’ll protect him, even if it means killing you.
Villain’s Plan 2 — Lie about his background and his injuries.
Villain’s Plan 3 — Create an incident that “makes him change his mind” and agree to help Matt.
Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan – Matt accepts help from his stunt double Bill and military consultant Hank.
Current Direction: Matt is frustrated and without a plan
Twist: Stunt double Bill and Hank volunteer to help him.
Current Direction: Matt is confused about his dad’s motivation
Twist: Hank tells him a lie which Matt believes
Mystery 3: Why no police?
Villain’s Plan 4 — Convince Matt not to involve the police in trying to find his dad.
Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats and the Antagonist Prevails – Matt tries to learn about his father in a mountain town near Luke’s camp.
Current Direction: Mountain town near dads camp seems safe
Twist: People are spying on him
Current Direction: Hank seems like a good person
Twist: He kills a townsperson in cold blood
Life Threatening 7 — Matt’s father has allies in the mountain town near his cabin – they are reporting on him
Mystery 4: Why does Hank know so much?
Villain’s Plan 5 — Recruit people to infiltrate Luke’s survivalist group.
Villain’s Plan 6 — Kill the recruit and make it look like Luke did it.
Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan! – Matt gets close to Luke’s camp, but loses Bill, and ends up in a trap.
Current Direction: Bill has been helping
Twist: Hank feeds Bill bogus info so he has to leave
Current Direction: Matt and Hank are closing in on Matt’s dad
Twist: Matt falls into a trap – a pit in the ground
Villain’s Plan 7 — Try to get rid of Bill, so Matt is totally dependent on him.
Mystery 5: What happened to Bill?
Life Threatening 8 — There are people patrolling the woods
Life Threatening 9 — They encounter a bear
Life Threatening 10 — Matt is caught in a trap
Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis and Climax – Hank rescues Matt and gives him instructions on how to get to Luke.
Villain’s Plan 8 — Train Matt to overcome the obstacles Luke has set up to protect his hermit camp.
Life Threatening 11 — Matt thinks he has killed his father
Life Threatening 12 — Matt considers suicide
Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo – By finally committing an act of real heroism, Matt is able to rescue his Dad and defeat Hank.
Current Direction: Matt is still reluctant to take risks
Twist: He jumps across a ravine to save his Dad from Hank
Current Direction: Matt’s Dad still doesn’t know who Matt is
Twist: He sees dog tags and realizes who Matt is.
Villain’s Plan 9 — Arrange the final meeting so he can first kill Matt in front of Luke, then kill Luke.
Life Threatening 13 — Matt must jump from one cliff to another
Life Threatening 14 — The antagonist has captured both Matt and his dad
-
Linda’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s easy to create twists when isolating the direction and brainstorming ways you can twist it.
New Twists:
· Direction: Leo in court, client on stand.
· Twist: Opens his folder and there is a threat.
· Direction: The defendant is killed in prison.
· Twist: But the threats keep coming.
· Direction: Leo is prosecuting Antonio’s enforcer who is on trial for murder.
· Twist: A witness changes his tune.
· Direction: Leo’s wraps up his closing.
· Twist: Vittorio got back early from visiting “family” and wanted to see his friend in action in high profile case. Leo says I don’t lose. Vittorio – when are you going to leave prosecutor’s office for more money on defense side? Launching his AG bid in a month.
· Direction: Quick verdict means conviction.
· Twist: But it’s not guilty.
· Direction: Antonio’s men go to shake down a shop owner.
· Twist: He laughs at them and tells them to get the hell out.
· Direction: At relaxing dinner with family when an “Amber” alert goes off.
· Twist: It’s a warning to him instead.
· Direction: The verdict may hurt Leo’s chance to be AG.
· Twist: Still in the lead for AG.
· Direction: Leo is with Vittorio when he gets a message and reminder not to tell anyone.
· Twist: He tells Vittorio immediately.
· Direction: Told there are no tables at the restaurant.
· Twist: Vittorio shows his temper.
-
OPENING
Direction: a teenage girl is sleeping.
Twist: A man comes in and rapes her.
A girl is raped.
LIVE THREATENING 1 – Will this man kill the girl?
Direction: He puts his hands around her neck as if he wants to strangle her.
Twist: He talks to her in a threatening but fatherly way and closes the door behind him.
MYSTERY 1 Who is this man? Is he an intruder?
MYSTERY 2 He leaves without saying a word.
MYSTERY 3 The girl doesn’t scream or talk.
LIVE THREATENING 2 – Will stepdad do what he has told her he will do when she talks? Kill her?
MYSTERY 1 Will she talk to her mother?
Direction: Having breakfast with mother. Tells her mom she is called in for a talk with her mentor.
Twist: Stepdad walks in, we recognize the rapist.
MYSTERY 2 Will she tell her schoolteacher?
MYSTERY 3 Will she tell her friend,
Breakfast. We meet Lilly’s mother. Theatrical person. Totally absorbed by new husband. Is Lilly going to tell her what’s happening? Mom has to come to school too Stepdad looks at her threateningly.
1. School. Talk with a mentor about her paper. . It’s about a troubling paper she wrote about a girl who commits suicide. It’s well written. Lilly claims it’s not auto-biographic.
Direction: Lily goes in for a talk with her mentor.
Twist: Stepdad is sitting there. They talk about the topic she picked. The suicide of a young girl. She hung herself.
2. Stepdad Florida’s governor
3. Lily flees the house by climbing out of the window. She’s followed by stepdad. Stepdad catches her and she tells him she’s pregnant. He takes her to the gynecologist’s office. How does she know the child is his. There is no other way, Lily tells him. He was the only one.
Direction: Lilly is climbing on a chair. A rope in her hand. new think she will commit suicide.
Twist: she attaches the rope to the window and climbs out along the rope and runs.
Direction: Stepdad wants to sneak out of bed.
Twist: mother wakes up.
Direction: Stepdad follows her, and catches her.
Twist: She’s pregnant and her stepdad takes her to the gynecologist.
LIFE-THREATENING 3
Stepdad follows her. Catches her. What is he going to do? Is he going to make her disappear, like he said he would?
INCITING INCIDENT
Introduced to gynecologist. Gynecologist knows stepdad. Old boys’ network. Talks with both Lilly and stepdad in private about the abortion. Who’s the father? Stepdad lies about promiscuity Lilly.
Direction: Abortion procedure.
Twist: She can’t have an abortion.
Direction: Who is the father?
Twist: stepdad
MYSTERIE 1
Who is the gynecologist? Is he to be trusted?MYSTERIE 2
Is the gynecologist telling the truth about Lilly’s pregnancy?
MYSTERY 3
Will Lilly tell the GYN. Her stepdad is the father?
MYSTERY 4
Who are the 2 wise guys talking to the gynecologist?Life-threatening 4
Wise guys threaten gynecologists. He’s got to make a move on.
MYSTERY 1
Why does the Gynecologist say everything is going to be alright? ‘ Let’s say: I got lucky today?.’
Life-threatening 5
Stepdad threatens her again.
MYSTERY 1
What has the gynecologist said to make stepdad back off?
Direction: gynecologist is a friend of stepdad and tells Lilly he will help him to make this disappear.
Twist: He threatens his stepdad to tell on him.
4. Scene with stepdad and Lilly. Here’s what we’re going to do…Abortion. Make your life into a living hell if this comes out. Your mother will not survive this.
5. Gynecologist examines Lily. She’s too far gone. Abortion is not possible. Tells stepdad, he’ll see to it that she’s in good hands. He calls the billionaire couple. Good news. They are going to be parents at last. They send a car.
PLOT POINT 1 Gynecologist takes Lilly to billionaire couple. He delivers young girls. Stray cats he calls them. He also works at the shelter for runaway trains.
· Billionaire couple nice. There are more girls there. Lilly wants to call home. They won’t let her. Number one rule: no phones in the house. Introduction RED HERRING HOUSEKEEPERS?
Direction: leaving the gynecologist’s office to move Lilly to the couple.
Twist: Stopped by 2 mean-looking wise guys.
Direction: Gyn. Brings Lilly to safety.
Twist: It seems a prison. It’s a small island. Needs a boat to get off the ‘island’. She is not allowed to use her phone. They are acting weird.
6. Gyn. tells the couple the baby is for them. He has a deal with them brings in fresh blood. Stray cats as he calls them.
MYSTERIE 1
What is happening in this house behind closed doors and what has the gynecologist has got to do with it?
MYSTERY 2
Who is the young girl who’s always on their side?
MYSTERY 3 Gyn. Cryptic language to wise guys. I’ve got something special for you. As requested. Then we’re even.
Mystery 4 Will the schoolteacher and her detective wife find out where Lilly is?
Direction: Teacher and her detective wife want to find out where Lily’s at.
Twist: phone call boss detective. They need to back off.
Direction: Detective is going to back off.
Twist: Mentor takes over.
Life threatening 6
The housekeepers catch Lily and her new friend red handed in the control room.
Direction: finding out how bad these people really are.
Twist: They are caught red-handed by housekeepers.
7. There is a party going on, but Lily is not invited in. Housekeepers take over. At the party lots of young girls and old important men.
8. Schoolteacher visits mother and stepdad. Expresses her worries.
9. The mysterious girl befriends Lilly in secret. Tells Lilly about the control room. They are caught red-handed by housekeepers.
Direction: Lilly and the girl want to escape together. They set a time and place.
Twist: The girl is waiting for her with the couple and housekeepers.
Direction: Lilly wants to confront the girl.
Twist: the girl has left the house.
10. PINCH 1
MYSTERY 1 Why are the criminals interested in Lilly and her pregnancy?
MYSTERY 2 WHAT’S IN THE CONTROL ROOM.
MYSTERY 3 Where have they taken the girl?
MYSTERY 4 Is the gynecologist just as bad as the couple?
Lilly investigates and finds sex videos on computer. Taped also girls in the bathroom. Surveillance / watched – cameras in the house. Control room
11. She asks gynecologist for help. She wants out.
12. Talking about the danger – friendship with another victim. She tells Lilly that the couple is bad news and that she must flee the island. She doesn’t know much about the gynecologist. He has been at parties, but she never saw him leave with a girl. But she’s not sure.
13. Mother presses stepdad. She wants to know where Lily is. Stepdad tells her he doesn’t know either. It’s best for her to leave Lily in peace for now. She doesn’t want to see them. She’s in good hands.
14. Life threatening 7
15. Lilly is taken away by armed men after being interrogated by the couple. The housekeepers tell her off. The couple has been so generous she must be grateful. That awful girl has been coming here for years and has gotten a professional training and she is so ungrateful. They bring Lilly to the billionaire couple. They interrogate Lilly. How much does she know? Suddenly, they are not the soft-spoken nice people anymore.
Direction: Lily wants to talk to the girl who has left the house.
Twist: Lilly finds out the girl is dead. Sees it on the news: body of missing girl found. (Different State)
LIFE THREATENING 8 Is Lilly going to be the next victim?
16. Lilly wants to find her friend and finds out she is dead. Sees it on the news: the body of the missing girl found. (Different State)
17. Lilly tells the gyn. the billionaire she has found out that the couple are abusing young girls. She wants out. He promises her to come and get her. Follow his lead and everything will be alright. Lily tells the gynecologist that she wants to escape; he says he will help her. He promises her to smuggle her from the island.
18. Gynecologist tells criminals: She wants out. A cryptic conversation between criminals and gynecologist. It’s clear he’s afraid of them and that they are after the baby. They tell him to follow their plan.
19. Stepdad comes over to ask about Lilly. The criminals threaten him. Gynecologist tells stepdad to leave her alone and not to report her missing. He blackmails him: don’t report her missing otherwise I’ll go to the police tell them you sexually abused your stepdaughter.
20. Gynecologist comes over and tells the couple that he wants to take Lilly with him. They fight over the baby. He acts like he’s protecting Lilly.
21. MP The detective comes to her rescue
Mystery 1 Are the criminals really police officers?
Mystery Pedophile criminals pose as police officers and tell them they are there on behalf of Lilly’s family. They are taking Lily with them. They tell Lilly they are police. Lilly still thinks she’s safe with gynecologist. Detective watches them leave and follows them.Direction: gyn. Is coming to safe her.
Twist: the criminals in police uniforms enter. They have a court order to take Lily with them.
Lilly gets her stuff. Her phone is in there. Quickly hides it. 86 missed calls from mentor.
22. PINCH II Scene with detective, boss and billionaire, who has supported the police force with communication system. We don’t want them to be crossed. Maybe she should take a break. But when the billionaire is gone, he says he can’t do anything about her investigating while on a break. I think a lot of people will help you get this MF behind bars.
Direction: Boss has orders to take detective from the case
Twist: He gives her carte blanche to arrest them.
23. She stays at gyn. house, finds out about the pedophile network and his trade with girl trafficking. Overhears conversation about her being useless after the baby is born. She tries to flee with dinky and almost drowns.
Direction: Finding out who the criminals are.
Twist: finds out about the pedophile network and his trade with girl trafficking
24. Detective follows them but when they spot her a shoot-out follows.
25. Boating accident. Lilly wakes up in cellar of gynecologist. Female detective wakes up in hospital.
26. Detective confronts stepdad and mother. Must report their child missing. Stepdad influential can have her fired. She talks with the mother and tells her off. What kind of mother is she?
27. Detective doesn’t know what to do anymore when mother shows up and reports her daughter missing.
Direction: Detective is at the end of her rope
Twist: Mother comes to the station Afterall to report her girl missing.
28. PLOTPOINT 2 Lilly escapes. Chased by gynecologist and criminals. She manages to stop a police car. They recognize her from Amber alert. Take her to the station but are shot at by masked men. They capture Lilly.
29. MYSTERY 15
Will the detective find Lilly?30. LIFE THREATENING The criminals will kill her now that they know she had a miscarriage.
Direction: Detective talks to mother and stepdad. Stepdad doesn’t have information.
Twist: Mother starts looking in her calendar: she remembers her husband was talking about this gynecologist. Gives detective the address.
31. Detective is at house gynecologist. She’s off the case. She breaks in. Searches the house and finds videos on computer involving babies. She vomits.
32. Criminals and gynecologist come in. She hides. Realizes this is a disturbed pedophile network. Gynecologist blackmailed them, but they turned it around and demand the baby. They are powerful people and capable to have him disappear. They will kill the girl when it’s all over.
CLIMAX Gynecologist wants to examine Lilly. She struggles. They find out she had a miscarriage.
Direction: They will take Lilly to Mexico to have the baby.
Twist: Lilly had a miscarriage.
33. Detective wants to arrest them. Shots are fired. Lilly knows there is a gun ( she snooped around before and found a gun ) Detective down but still pointing her gun at criminal. When he wants to shoot the detective, Lilly manages to get the gun and shoot criminal. Detective gets the other one. Gynecologist tries to help the criminal, but Detective cuffs him.
RESOLUTION
34. Lilly in hospital, billionaire couple taken to prison. Criminals dead. Mother in hospital with girl and detective. The girl doesn’t want to go back home. She must.
Direction: All’s well ends well.
Twist: At home stepdad wants to continue the sexual abuse. Lilly fights him this time. She manages to redial the detective’s number unseen.
35. At home Mother is hospitalized. She’s all alone with him. School teacher is detectives’ spouse. Lilly calls her. She sounds scared but doesn’t tell what’s going on. Detective suspicious.
36. At home stepdad wants to continue the sexual abuse. Lilly fights him this time. She manages to redial the detective’s number unseen.
37. The detective overhears what Lilly says to him. She tells him she’s going to blow the whistle on him. He tries to strangle her.
38. Detective drives through town like a mad woman. Arrives at the house. Tries to get in.
39. Lilly manages to grab a heavy candle holder. She hits him on the head several times.
40. The detective comes in. He’s down already and Lilly hits him several times with the candleholder. The detective stops Lilly. Don’t kill him. When he tries to grab the candle holder the detective shoots him.
41. THE END
Police cars ambulances schoolteacher and the detective are taking care of Lilly.
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