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Day 9 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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12 Replies
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Subject Line: Roscoe’s – Twists and Turns.
“What I learned is…?” A twist can make the story more intriguing. I have to work on more twists and turns though.
OPENING: A Navajo family is killed by a Skinwalker/Witch.
What is a skinwalker/witch? Why did the skinwalker kill the family?
INCITING INCIDENT: Tribal Cop is called into investigate Navajo deaths. Off Indian Reservation.
Why are animal tracks larger than normal at crime scene?
CURRENT DIRECTION: Can tribal cop Stephen explain these deaths as spiritual in nature?
TWIST: A fearful, County Sheriff, says there is no money to help Stephen investigate. He’s on his own.
Turning Point 1: Stephen goes to home of his Navajo ex-wife Gabby.
Why does the skinwalker follow Stephen? How come the skinwalker shape shifts into a black wolf?
CURRENT DIRECTION: Why does wolf stop at the cedar ash circle around Gabby’s home?
TWIST: Gabby stands inside that circle and the wolf won’t cross it. She is protected.
Gabby is later found with bruises on her face.
CURRENT DIRECTION: The skinwalker attacks Stephen’s truck.
TWIST: Stephen’s cop partner shoots the skinwalker who disappears into dust.
Gabby wasn’t inside the car crash that killed her family.
Midpoint: Stephen interviews Gabby’s uncle Jack.
Why does Gabby’s aunt Kathy attend a skinwalker meeting? Gabby then disappears.
CURRENT DIRECTION: Why does aunt Kathy threaten Stephen and Gabby?
TWIST: Aunt Kathy admits if she had the chance to kill Gabby. She would.
Why does Gabby visit a Navajo grandmother?
CURRENT DIRECTION: Skinwalker catches up to Gabby.
TWIST: Skinwalker shape shifts into wolves and they kill Gabby’s close friend.
Turning Point 2: Stephen protects Gabby.
Why does Stephen go to a modern Shaman? What did a gun shop owner give Stephen?
Climax: Stephen and Gabby fight against the skinwalker.
Resolution: The skinwalker is finally killed.
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TWIST 2:
Emmanuel Sullivan’s Plot Twist and Turns
What I learned is the more twists that are relevant to the story will keep the audience on the edge to watch more. The key is creating engaging twists, so it’s a brainstorming session. However, it’s easier when you have a list of plot twist themes to draw inspiration from.
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Kimberly’s Twists and Turns
What I learned: Many twists are built into the MIS but this exercise was a great opportunity to reinvest in adding more thrilling twists and turns.
Thriller Plot with Twists
Act 1: Navy SEAL vet has chosen a solitary life at sea to cope with PTSD.
Opening – On land for supplies, Lacia is a duck out of water. Attacked by kids.
· Mystery – Why is Lacia afraid of leaving the boat?
· Mystery – Is Lacia deaf?
· TWIST 1: Direction – Lacia is deaf / Twist – She uses earplugs to protect herself from outside stressers
· Mystery – Who is man on the Wanted poster?
· Mystery – Store owner seems to be Lacia’s only contact with outside world. Why?
· Life Threatening – Three young men in the village attack Lacia. She fights back.
· TWIST 2: Direction – Lacia is fragile / Twist – She’s a badass with fighting skills
· Mystery – Where did Lacia learn to fight?
· Mystery – Why did Lacia pretend to be deaf?
Inciting Incident – Lacia swims back to boat in fog and discovers a strange man in cabin.
· Mystery – Why does Lacia live alone on open ocean?
· Mystery – When she loses her fishing pole, why is she afraid to go in the water?
· Life Threatening – While spear fishing in open ocean, Lacia sees fog rolling in. She must get back to her boat before it disappears in the fog.
· Life Threatening – Lacia discovers Rian in the cabin.
· TWIST 3: Direction – Lacia is alone at sea / Twist – Rian appears on her boat seemingly from nowhere
· Mystery – Who is the man in her cabin and how did he get there?
· Villain’s Plan – Rian appears nonthreatening and passive.
Turning Point – She is stranded on a dead boat when Emma & Rian steal her sailboat.
· Villain’s Plan – Rian tells Lacia they must rescue the woman he left on their adrift boat.
· Mystery – Can she trust Rian?
· Mystery – Who is on that boat?
· Villain’s Plan: Rian convinces Emma that Lacia is dangerous and they should leave her behind on their dead-in-the-water boat
· Mystery – Why would Emma agree to leave Lacia to certain death on their boat?
· Life Threatening – Lacia is left on their adrift boat and must overcome her fear of ocean to get back to her boat which is drifting away with Emma and Rian on it.
· TWIST 4: Direction – Lacia attempts to repair their boat / Twist – They leave her and steal her boat
· Life Threatening – Lacia swims to and climbs aboard her boat. Rian sneaks up behind and she is rendered unconscious.
Act 2: Lacia is forced to work with the couple if they are to survive.
New plan – To survive, Lacia must go from hostage to savior.
· Mystery – Lacia wakes up to discovered she is tied up. Why did they do this?
· Mystery – Who destroyed the radio and why?
· Life Threatening – (OC) Rian destroyed the radio while Lacia was unconscious.
· Villain’s Plan – Rian tells Lacia that Emma wanted her tied up.
· Life Threatening – Food supplies running low leads to Lacia going back into water to spear fish.
· TWIST 5: Direction – Lacia accidentally lost the fishing pole / Twist – With 3 mouths to feed, Lacia will have to go into the water for food
· Villain’s Plan – Rian tells Lacia that Emma has been eating more than her share.
· Villain’s Plan – Jealous of Rian’s praise of Lacia’s fishing skills, Emma dives for fish.
· Life Threatening/Villain’s Plan – Rian throws fish guts into the ocean while Emma is spear fishing in order to attract sharks. Lacia saves her at the last minute.
· TWIST 6: Direction – Emma trusts Rian / Twist – Rian puts her in jeopardy by attracting sharks while she is in the water
Midpoint Turning Point – Rian injures Lacia’s arm so that she is no longer able to sail without help.
· Villain’s Plan – Rian deliberately triggers Lacia with a song he sings.
· Villain’s Plan – Knowing Lacia only needs one person to help her, he deceives and gaslight to build distrust between the women. Tells Lacia that Emma broke the radio.
· Villain’s Plan – Rian “accidentally” detaches the sea anchor.
· TWIST 7: Direction – The sea anchor keeps them stable when spear fishing / Twist – Rian releases the anchor putting anyone going into the water in danger
· Villain’s Plan – While adjusting sails, Rian’s unwelcome help “accidentally” injures Lacia so that she can no longer sail solo
· Life Threatening – Lacia is injured.
· TWIST 8: Direction – Emma starts hoarding food / Twist – Emma gets food poisoning from eating spoiled food
Act 3: Unable to sail alone because of her injury, Lacia must rely on the couple and teach them to sail without becoming unnecessary.
New Plan – She teaches them to sail but she must keep navigation secret to ensure they still need her.
· Mystery – Why does Lacia kill the GPS and hide the manual navigation tools?
· Villain’s Plan – Trigger Lacia’s PTSD by getting too close and making physical contact so that Emma sees her as unpredictable and dangerous
· Life Threatening – Water running low.
· Villain’s Plan – Tells Emma that Lacia has been coming on to him during their sailing lessons
· TWIST 9: Direction – They are going to have to save themselves / Twist – The Coast Guard arrives after seeing them on radar to warn them about the coming storm
· TWIST 10: Direction – Coast Guard will save them / Twist – Rian kills the CG and blows up their boat after drugging Lacia and Emma
· TWIST 11: Direction – Rian is doing his best to help them all survive / Twist – He is a devious killer
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Lacia discovers Rian is a killer.
· Villain’s Plan – Rian finds the hidden nav tools.
· Life Threatening – With beard growth, Lacia recognizes Rian as man in Wanted poster.
· TWIST 12: Direction – Lacia believes Rian is just inept / Twist – Lacia discovers Rian has been lying and is the killer from the wanted poster
· Villain’s Plan – Rian realizes that knows his secret
· Villain’s Plan – Rian checks Lacia’s updates on the nav maps to see their location.
Act 4: Violent storm attacks them and the boat.
New Plan – Lacia must protect herself and Emma from killer Rian.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – During storm, Rian and Lacia have winner-take-all confrontation.
· Villain’s Plan – Having learned to sail and navigate, Rian decides to get rid of the women. He throws Emma overboard.
· Mystery – Will Emma die?
· Life Threatening – Lacia rescues Emma.
· Villain’s Plan – Realizing that Lacia has discovered his crimes, he tries to kill her during the storm
· Life Threatening – Rian and Lacia fight during the storm.
· TWIST 13: Direction – Emma tries but is really helpless in a crisis / Twist – She helps Lacia fight Rian during the storm
Resolution – Coast Guard rescues Lacia and Emma. Emma gets 15 min of fame because of Rian. Lacia returns to solitary life.
· TWIST 14: Direction – The storm shreds the sails and they are dead in the water / Twist – The Coast Guard sends a ship after their missing boat and rescues them
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Subject line: Larry’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is to make sure there is a clear correlation between the direction and the twist. I also found that by looking for new twists it made the plot more engaging.
Tell us the places you added
twists.
Include the new version of your
Thriller Map.“Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.”
– Yogi Berra
Since I didn’t really include many of my twists in my original Thriller map and the plot is complex as most twists do not immediately follow an initial direction I’m going to lay everything out a little differently. The audiences’ minds will be so twisted by the end no one will be sure what to believe.
Story premise: A ring of highly placed individuals, who are pedophiles, operates in Chicago. A child victim is killed and a detective (the Hero) is assigned to ensure an accused teacher (red herring) is found guilty. However, the detective is not convinced of the teacher’s guilt and continues investigating after the teacher’s trial. The Ring is concerned the killer, and possibly its own existence, will be revealed – that simply will not do! By the way, Ring members are identified with a same-style signet ring (and you won’t find these in Cracker Jack boxes).
Character twists:
School janitor:
Direction: young mentally challenged man cleans school
Twist: turns out he was first victim of ring and may be able to identify killer; he was mentally disabled when he was assaulted as a child by the killer
School Superintendent
Direction: appears as caring for children, sets up special projects to highlight student successes and likes to photograph “special students”
Twist: Ring member wanna-be and psychopathic killer
Chief:
Direction: law-and-order kind of guy who is “hands-on” in the operation of his force so as to be directly responsible
Twist: Ring member who oversees activities on the police force and can misdirect any actions that may reveal the identities of the ring members
Detective’s “friend”
Direction: a detective befriends our Hero
Twist: spies on Hero and relays everything back to station Captain
State Superior Court Judge
Direction: appears as fair-minded man who follows the rule of law
Twist: Ring leader who railroads teacher’s trial to ensure guilty verdict
Detective’s Wife
Direction: supports husband in his ongoing investigation post trial
Twist: leaves husband, fearing for their son’s life
Double Twist: (with a touch of irony) detective’s nephew gets kidnapped and killed (maybe)
Station Captain (red herring)
Direction: oversees station and detectives in particular and follows orders explicitly; reports everything to the Chief, as ordered
Reverse Twist: everything the Captain does appears to be working against the Hero, but in fact, he is just doing his duty (This will keep the audience guessing.)
School Principal
Direction: Appears as progressive education leader
Twist: Ring member who recruited the school superintendent & identifies potential victims
Action twists:
Direction: Superintendent and teacher (red herring) appear to be friends
Twist: Superintendent sets him up as “fall guy” for the murder of child-victim (remember: he is a psychopath)
Direction: Captain assigns Hero to oversee case against teacher
Twist: He secretly assigns another detective to covertly “oversee” work of Hero (Why?)
Direction: During the Trial it appears the teacher will be exonerated
Twist: Judge bars key evidence and only allows incriminating evidence as valid and directs jury on key points of law in his summary to sway jury
Direction: Hero continues investigation insisting there was a miscarriage of justice
Twist: Captain orders him to desist or be “walking the beat – like forever.” Wants Hero to solve backlog of “missing children” cases (and how come there are a lot of missing children, eh?)
Direction: Hero convinces wife investigation is important and she supports him
Twist: Later after attempts on Hero’s Life, she leaves him, fearing for son and herself (just when you think she’s got his back).
Direction: Principal wants to have his “successful” students highlighted in superintendent’s special projects
Twist: He turns out to be in the Ring and identifies victims
Direction: Janitor says he has new information for the Detective and comes in to the police station for an interview with the Hero
Twist: Janitor disappears
Direction: After a sniper shoots at the Hero outside the police station from a roof top, the Captain rushes up to secure the scene with the Detective behind.
Twist: When the Hero looks over the edge of the roof the Captain appears about to shove him over, but grabs him and pulls him back instead (remember – red herring)
Direction: brother and nephew of Hero visit him at his home
Twist: boy disappears
Direction: superintendent plans to trap and kill Hero in abandoned warehouse
Twist: killer not there; redirects Hero to abandoned factory nearby
Direction: After some gun play the boy is shot and so is the detective who falls down an elevator shaft, both appearing dead
Twist: neither is really dead as the boy was wounded and dragged himself into a hiding spot while the hero had a bullet-proof vest
Direction: superintendent is having a ceremony showing “top students” in city
Twist: nephew shows up on stage in cast
Direction: the superintendent is in the police station with the Hero for questioning and booking
Twist: the superintendent, wearing a signet ring, cracks it open and swallows a cyanide pill, but while dying whispers something in the Hero’s ear
Direction: The Ring is having a meeting believing the members are safe as the link to them is dead
Twist: The Hero crashes the meeting.
THE END
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Larry,
So try interesting the way you laid this out – with Direction and Twist. I can see so much of your story now. Very good work IMHO
James
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Hi James: Thanks for noticing. I think the story is coming together nicely. I’ve made a few alterations in the next assignment to tighten it up a little. I dumped the nephew and put the Hero’s son in his place.
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Kathy’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is that my script has many twists and turns.
Twists are in parentheses.
V=Villain’s plan
M=Mystery
LT=Life Threatening
OPENING: Ben’s ex-wife checks in at the airport. She’s leaving the country. (M) She drops her passport and Simone picks it up. She tells Simone, “I was in danger. You could be too.” (M,LT, consequences) Simone is at the airport to meet Ben, a business associate.
Ben charms Simone into having dinner with him. ( new options)
Ben takes her to the botanic garden.
Ben looks at her house, an expansive MCM on a big lot worth over a million.
He takes Simone and her son Josh to a nice Italian restaurant.
INCITING INCIDENT: Six months later, Ben proposes and she accepts.( solution makes things worse)
Ben has her sign a pre-nup. He tells Simone it’s about his business but he has added a sentence that says if she dies before Josh is 18, then Ben gets the house so he can care for him. (V, solution gets worse)
On the honeymoon, Simone finds a cryptic note of Ben’s, “call M about closing”. (M, new problem) Ben says it’s nothing but it is a note about a past house closing that he did with Marcie. (V)
Josh thinks Ben is buttering him up since he is always so nice. (V)
Simone talks to her friend Beth about finding a mortgage statement. Ben and Betsy Conner are on the loan. (M) Simone knows that Ben lied to her about the closing. (V, a lie is uncovered)
Ben and Simone have a fight. (LT, unexpected side of Ben)
Ben secretly rips up her will. (V, violates her trust)
TURNING POINT 1: They go to Thanksgiving dinner at his cousin’s where she tells Simone that Ben was a bully as a child. And that he had 2 short previous marriages. Two marriages and 2 divorces in 2 years. (M,V, lies uncovered, secret identity uncovered)
They talk about taxes. Simone kneels at his feet. Ben says he will pay them. (changes sides)
They go to a convention on the Ga. coast. Simone is tired so she goes to sleep. Ben meets Marcie, his lover, who tells Ben that she will take care of Simone. (V, got more dangerous)
Marcie hits Simone with a metal tennis racquet. (LT, more danger) Simone falls, has a concussion, needs stitches, remembers nothing. (V)
Back home, Ben leaves and doesn’t give Simone any money. (V, lost resources)
Beth suggests that Simone investigate Ben. (M, new options)
Simone drives to Savannah and surprises Ben in his office. He scrambles to hide Marcie’s photo. After Simone leaves, he calls Marcie and tells her to get her stuff out of his condo. (V, new problem)
Beth finds the ex-wives, calls Simone. Simone finds out that Ben lied to her. His first wife didn’t die. (V, lie uncovered) She is the lady in a wheelchair that Simone met at the airport. (M, secret identity uncovered)
In Ben’s condo, Simone finds a gun. Ben aims it at her and pulls the trigger. It isn’t loaded. He scares her. (LT, see an unexpected side of Ben)
While Simone sleeps, Ben meets Marcie. He tells her about the pre-nup. (V) Marcie says Simone could be in an accident. (LT, more danger)
Simone wakes up, rummages through Ben’s desk, takes 2 CD’s. Simone tours Savannah the next day. Tells Beth she found 2 CD’s. (M, new options)
MIDPOINT: Back home, Beth opens the CD’s. (M, secret identity revealed) They find AmEx bills for expensive restaurants, women’s phone numbers and pictures of their houses. The women think that Ben has been having many affairs. (A major revelation. The opposition is 10 times worse than thought.)
Simone cuts up Ben’s clothes. (new consequences)
Simone and Beth call a woman’s number. (M) Rhonda Stevens tells them that Ben tried to get her house as a wedding present. ( secret identity uncovered)
They call Ben’s ex-wife, Nancy Edwards, who lives in Atlanta. (M) They drive to her house. Nancy tells them that Ben conned her out of her house and threatened her father. (LT, secret identity uncovered)
Beth says Ben has 2 personalities (M) and needs a doctor. ( new options)
Simone and Beth confront Ben, tell him they know about his women so he goes to therapy or Simone divorces him. ( new consequences)
Marcie tells Ben that she has a plan that will speed things up.(V, more danger)
Ben and Simone argue in the therapist’s office. Ben apologizes to Simone.(V), unexpected side of Ben)
Montage of Ben and Simone sleeping apart, talking to the therapist ( new options)
TURNING POINT 2: A month later, a car, driven by a woman in a red dress, grazes Simone. (M, V, danger) She falls and has a broken elbow. (Major setback.)
Ben takes Simone to a fancy restaurant and apologizes. Says all the women were before her and that he loves her. (V)
Simone tells Beth that the car was stolen and hasn’t been found yet. (M) She says Ben is a changed man, he’s putting money into their account, that Ben’s wife Betsy was crazy. Wife #2 Nancy lied to get back at him and her dad wasn’t threatened, he says crazy stuff, has Altzheimers. (changes sides, unexpected side)
Ben wants Simone to visit him in Savannah. Beth is worried. Simone says, “It’s a tour? What could go wrong?”(V, new options)
Simone, without a cast, meets Ben at the Savannah airport. He calls Marcie, tells her the cast is gone. She says she’ll deal with Simone. (V, LT, danger)
Ben tells Simone that the boat is not a tour boat, it is a friend’s boat. He doesn’t tell her Marcie is the owner. (V, new problem)
At the marina, Simone sees “HASHTAG”, a 35 foot sailboat. Onboard, Simone meets Marcie, who Ben introduces as a colleague. Marcie says, “I’m sure we’ll become great friends“, which is a lie. (V, new problem)
They cast off and motor into the Wilmington River. Simone goes into the cabin, calls Beth, tells her she is not on a tour, is sailing to St. Simons Island, and Marcie is on the boat. Beth is worried, tells Simone to call her when she gets to St. Simons.(M, lost resources)
Ben hoists the mainsail up. When it is full of wind, Marcie spins the wheel. The sail deflates. Ben swings the boom and the boat veers to the left. Simone screams, grabbing the railing as she falls. The boom narrowly misses her head. (LT) Ben secures the boom rigging to a cleat, says “nice jibe,” to Marcie. (V, danger)
Simone goes into the cabin, finds a first aid kit, bandages her knee, sips a beer, finds a gun in a cabinet. (M,LT, danger) Looks in a bin, finds makeup, a bra, panties, and a red dress, (M) looks in another bin, finds a logbook for the boat, opens it, Marcie’s name is on the first page as the owner. (V, secret identity uncovered) Simone calls Beth but no answer. Simone goes up to the deck. Waits for sunset. (M)
Simone goes back into the cabin, calls Beth, tells her that Marcie owns the boat and spun the wheel, almost knocking her down. (M,LT, danger) Beth says to get off the boat asap, doesn’t trust either Ben or Marcie.
After dinner Ben walks off with Marcie, who wears a red dress, (M, secret identity) leaving Simone alone to shop.
Back on the boat, Simone drops her shopping bags and calls Beth who says she is nervous about the gun, asks “who owns it?” (M,LT, danger) Simone agrees to get a hotel room. ( something planned doesn’t happen)
Simone packs her bag and sees that the gun is missing. (M,LT, danger)
CLIMAX: Ben attacks Simone on a burning sailboat. (LT, danger)
She’s looking for the gun as Ben and Marcie stagger onto the deck. Ben comes into the cabin. He’s drunk, starts a fight (new problem), binds Simone’s hands, socks her. (V,LT, danger) She plays dead.
He grabs her cell and goes up the steps. Back on the deck, he tosses her phone overboard. (new problem) Ben starts releasing the lines. Marcie’s afraid of getting caught. Ben starts the engine and they move away from the dock. (new problem) He stomps back downstairs to the cabin.
Simone plays dead. (M) Ben and Marcie head to the bedroom and shut the door. (V) Simone tries to free her hands then heads up to the deck. ( new options)
Simone elbows the hatch doors shut. She spots the tackle box, kneels, turns around on her knees, and fingers the lock. It pops open. She fingers a knife and uses it to slowly cut the rope around her wrists. It parts. She puts the metal crab net through the doors. ( new options)
Simone turns to the radio next to the wheel, talks to the marine operator who tells her to turn on the running lights. She does. A white light from the mast spotlights the boat. A green light is on the right side and a red light is on the left side. A white stern light illuminates the water around the rear platform. ( new options)
Ben notices the lights. As he kicks the doors( unexpected), Simone says, “Operator, help. My husband is trying to kill me. (LT, danger) There’s a gun on the boat…….somewhere.” (M, LT)
Intercut between Ben and Simone. He sees her through a hatch, and starts shooting. (V, LT, unexpected side, violates trust, danger)She’s talking to the marine operator but has to drop the microphone and run.
Simone climbs above the door as Ben shoots through the crab net handle. (LT, danger) It splits and he opens the doors. (V) She conks him on the head with a fire extinguisher and he falls back into the cabin onto Marcie.
The fire extinguisher rolls off the deck, through the railing, and disappears into the sea. (M, worse thing to happen)
Simone shuts the doors again. She grabs a padlock from the tackle box and padlocks the doors.
She calls the marine operator again. The Coast Guard will be there in 10 min. Simone says, “I could be dead by then.” (M, LT, new option)
Marcie shoots through the doors. (LT, secret identity, danger) Simone climbs to the bow. Marcie sees her, tells her Ben wants to apologize. Simone says, “I know you own the boat.” Marcie says the CG isn’t coming. (secret identity, M,LT)
Simone calls the marine operator again, “send the CG”.
Shots come through the cabin doors. (LT, danger) One grazes Simone, hitting in her left calf. Blood pours down her leg. (worse thing happens)
Ben’s head pops through the ceiling hatch. He sees Simone and shoots through the doors again,(LT, danger) hitting the radio, which smolders. Simone climbs back on the cabin roof. The radio is on fire. (LT, worse thing happens)
Marcie sees the fire. Simone, toward the bow, turns, creeps back to the open hatch, and kicks the back of Marcie’s head, forcing her inside, then closes the hatch and stands on it’s edge. Shots go through the ceiling hatch. (LT, danger) Simone jumps back. The hatch pops open.
Ben aims the gun at Simone,(V,LT, unexpected) tells her to open the doors. She ducks in front of the doors where he can’t see her, spots the tackle box, grabs a big wrench, leaps up, and hits Ben on the head with the wrench.
Ben, gun in hand, falls into the cabin on top of Marcie. The gun hits her head. Both lie in a pile on the cabin floor.
(LT scene) Flames reach a canvas tarp covering the narrow deck under the starboard railing. The canvas catches on fire and the flames spread along the right side. Simone opens a storage box to the left of the cabin doors. She grabs a towel and tries to put out the flames but the towel catches on fire so she throws it overboard. A coil of rope on the deck catches fire.
Simone backs away from the flames and climbs onto the cabin roof. She walks along the railing until she is at the bow.
The flames along the tarp grow higher. (more LT)
The edge of the mainsail starts to blacken, smolder, then catches fire. (most LT, worse thing possible happens, sail’s on fire)
Simone holds onto the bow railing and stares into the depths. “I love you Josh.”
The CG arrives and extinguishes the flames. Ben and Marcie are handcuffed. The sailboat is towed to shore. The duo are put in jail.
RESOLUTION: Simone is rescued by the Coast Guard. (new options) Ben and Marcie are jailed. ( new consequences) Simone sells Ben’s condos, gets on a plane to Paris. (new options) She sits next to a Frenchman who asks her to see the Louvre with him. (new options) Her passport sticks out of her bag.
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James’ TWISTS and TURNS
I learned that this isa building block which I have the feeling will change more of my story as we continue with this map. I feel some of my Twists are not very strong and maybe not really called Twists but as time goes on I will rewrite this stuff as I go.
FARM MURDERS:
OPENING:
Woman backing out of Barn at night – shock at discovering something, then heading out quick to the road – soon 3 HOODED GUYS with voice devices on, follow her – she runs, they chase after. When they get too close the Lead Hooded one says to fall back. “Give her a chance.” They wait for her to get to another farm and in the middle of the field they hit her over the head, she lands face down. They rub her face in the farm dirt – then slam her face into it – she is unconscious when a Thrasher approaches – only feet away she awakes to see it upon her and SCREAMS.
TWIST: At the end we see that the Thrasher was to scare the Hooded Guys away and the woman – Tang’s Mom is still alive!!
At College: Tang refuses to tell her college friends of her home life.
TWIST: Friends ask him for his “dead name” at least. He says “That’s why I’m never going back – because “Tina” will always be alive there.”
INCITING INCIDENT: TANG, in last week of College, gets call to come home as the woman who died was her Mom.
Tang goes home to grieve and wants to comfort and get comfort from his dad, grieving hard but stoically.
TWIST: He turns away from his Trans Son.
Tang Has to assert himself to get medical and coroners report.
TWIST: Farm folk call her TINA and so he uses it to threaten them: “I killed Tina so what do you think I’ll do to you if you don’t give me what I have a legal right to possess?!”
Finds comfort with Phil and a Girl she had a HS crush on like her as a “Him.”
Prejudices from townsfolk who knew him as female.
TWIST: They call him TINA a lot and it builds that finally he yells at one of them – “My name is Tang! Tang, got it??” Guy says “Well, that’s the stupidest name ever.” TANG: “Okay, what’s your name?” GUY: “Bubba.” TANG: “Members of the jury, I rest my case.”
TWIST: Another Guy threatens him with a shotgun he grabs from the cab of his beat-up truck. Tang uses his defense training to easily take the weapon from him and shoot out one of his tires. TANG: “That buckshot in your tire just doubled your trucks value. You can thank me later.” He shoots the other bullet into the air and hands back his empty weapon.
Eyes always upon Tang.
TWIST: Only the young people accept Tang, their eyes upon their iPhones “He’s Trans? Cool.”
Covertly – Phil has set the old neighbors and friends against Tang for being Trans Male, all the wild being his truest friend, like they were best friends back in High School.
3 GUYS dress in HOODS with voice disguise mechanisms to force Farmers, at gunpoint, to sign their farm deed over to them.
The coroner resists giving Tang his report on cause of death. “I mean she wasn’t chopped into one inch cubic bits, correct?”
At Dinner with Dad: Dad says there is no reason for a cause of death. Tang says they have procedures for a death like that.
TWIST: Dad wants to give Tang relief that Mom is alive and fine but can’t.
All Mom’s friends don’t want to tell Tang anything. 1. Trans now. 2. Think a “daughter” should never have left her parents for so long. 3. They are despondent because they think Mom is really dead.
TWIST: The most conservative one now will later become Tangs friend?
The Sheriff acts like he’s hiding something. (Mom was the Sheriff’s HS sweetheart he was supposed to marry once)
TWIST: He is behind the fake death of Mom also and is hiding that!
The Sheriff IS the law but doesn’t act like it; his son, Phil seems to try harder to figure it out.
A Guy Tang’s age mentions the “HOODED GUYS” as a joke but Tang wants to know more.
TWIST: Guy gets nervous, makes an excuse and leaves OR makes a mean-spirited Trans joke out of the blue. (Later turns out to be one of the Hooded Guys)
TURNING POINT: TANG finds suspicious cover-ups to her mom’s death, including the death of the Town MAYOR just a month before.
After Mom’s funeral, cremated of course – a car with no plates – almost runs Tang over.
Old school classmates of Tangs stalk him; taunt Tang as a girl;
Tang refuses to be intimidated when asking for all medical and crime reports on his Mom
At the site of Mom’s death – Tang doesn’t find much but takes soil samples and then notices footprints and works them back near the Sheriff’s farm. Could the Sheriff be involved?
Tang gets a hang for this as she finds the Mayor was killed in a very different way but suspiciously and calls the FBI to get someone over for these multiple murders – and hopefully, to see she is ready to join.
TWIST: FBI thinks he’s a quack caller.
She talks to the Coroner about the Mayor’s death.
TWIST: Coroner freely answers all his questions!
Coroner hands her a bag from storage which has lots of black clothing fibers – a possible clue which leads to the hoods of the mysterious HOODED GUYS. Coroner says they were found mostly in the Mayor’s hair.
TWIST: Makes Tang think he could’ve been one of the HOODED BAD GUYS.
Farm owners nervously call it an old urban legend.
TWIST: If it’s old why did he never hear it growing up there as “Tina?”
MIDPOINT: The girl Tang had a crush on – when Tang was female – is infatuated right back and they become a couple.
The more Tang digs and the Sheriff threatens to put him in jail – 25 years Sheriff – he won’t comment further against the word of a 22 yr old Trans.
Tang drives her Mom’s old car and is chased. Both cars get stuck in a sand bar or corn field and they both run and the chase continues on the farm’s 4 wheelers which are dumped in downtown residential blocks of houses and they now chase on foot – through backyards; Tang is grabbed by an owner of one house and held by his collar like a teenager caught stealing something! The person chasing Tang leaves, foiled again.
Unknown person threatens to post photo’s of Tang’s top surgery;
Tang is upset and Phil, Girlfriend and another friend of theirs get Tang to talk about being Trans.
TWIST: Phil makes a joke about it – which hits Tang hard, seemingly very unlike who Phil is.
Tang takes the hurt to psychoanalyze Phil as she explains what she studied in college to be in the FBI to identify criminally minded people.
TWIST: Tang says he has maniacal tendencies and no empathy for the suffering of others – as a joke but Phil gets angry and leaves saying they are no longer friends!
TWIST: Tang didn’t mean for that to happen but later glad when he is found to be the killer.
Tang’s Dad finally gives in and talks about Mom’s mouth getting her into trouble.
TWIST: Tang questions his use of present tense when he talks about Mom but he makes an excuse that he is still grieving and in shock.
Tang finds out: Already sold Tang’s farm but Tang nor Dad knows about it. Tang’s Dad finally admits the Hooded Guys threatened him to sign his land away but he refused – he had no idea that Mom went through with it.
Then Farms deeds are found to be bought up by shell companies.
Someone says that they saw the Mayor get into an argument with someone in the shadows by the Sheriff’s barn the day before he was found dead. (the Sheriff is the RED HERRING)
The Sheriff says the Mayor wasn’t murdered but the buried condoner’s report is quite different from the official statement.
Tang finds it seems connected to Mom’s death (farm machine?? Components found like black threads?)
Mayor had no enemies except the Sheriff ran against him more than once.
Tang finds that Items from the same website which sells HOODS w Vocal Disguisers on them were sent to the Sheriff’s address. He demands that Tang go back to their college town and don’t open this can of worms.
Is Hoods with mouth pieces are found in the Sheriff’s barn by Achilles (and Girlfriend)?
Tang and Girlfriend abducted with black hoods over their heads;
TURNING POINT 2: Tang girlfriend is killed or almost killed by a bullet meant for him.
ONE WITNESS says that the leader Hooded Guy had a mis-step to him, they can tell because they breed horses and you gotta watch for that or they aren’t worth as much but for studding.” (Phil has no toes on right foot from a farm accident)
TWIST: Phil had been acting like Tangs best friend all this time!
Phil traps Tang in his barn basement;
CLIMAX: Turns out it has been Tang’s best old friend from growing up who is the killer and he goes after him, they fight, he escapes – only to be chased down by his own father, the Sheriff, and arrested.
Turns out the Sheriff was protecting his son, Phil. And as he looks at his son in cuffs about to cry he sets him free and yells for him to run!!
TWIST: Paternal instincts are too strong after we thought he is doing the right thing.
It is Tang alone who has to chase him down on foot – in the very field where his own Mom was killed and duke it out with Tang the victor.
Phil confesses: Killed the Mayor in Phil’s Garage cuz he found out our plan to steal the deeds, use out own notary for the documents and connections to sell to the Billionaire but they didn’t kill Tang’s Mom but meant to cuz she snooped around and found our HOODS . We knocked her out in the field and someone else drove that thrasher over her!
Phil and the Sheriff are taken in by the Deputy.
RESOLUTION: Tang gets reunited with his Mom!!!
TWIST: She’s been alive all this time!!!
Dad, the Sheriff and the Coroner made up the story that she died because she knew you could find out who the Hooded Guys were and save their farms and that this was the only way you’d ever come back home again.
Tang also gets all the farm folks their deeds back and is shown gratitude by those who hated and were scared that Tang is a Trans Male.
Tang visits his Girlfriend, recovering in the hospital and Perhaps a phone call from the FBI – “when can you start?”
TWIST: He smiles at his Girlfriend which makes us think he may turn down the job offer to stay with her.
Girlfriend demands he go and fulfill his dreams – besides now she has the idea that getting out of town to go to college might be a good thing also.
TWIST: Tang suggests that this farm town ain’t so bad and that they hang out here for the summer and think about all their options.
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Leona Heraty’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is…there are many areas in my script where I can add twists, and twists make my story a lot more exciting and fun!
ACT 1
OPENING: McKenzie is driving to work, and is followed by
a Masked Figure!CURRENT DIRECTION: McKenzie blasts
the music, keeps driving and is oblivious that she’s being followed.TWIST: The Masked Figure speeds by
her and shakes their fist at McKenzie, but McKenzie is looking down for a
second and doesn’t notice.INCITING INCIDENT: McKenzie’s Mom forbids her to hike alone at Cuyamaca Rancho State Park, and wads up her flyer and hurls it into the trash! McKenzie stands up to her Mom and says she’s going anyway!
CURRENT DIRECTION: McKenzie grabs her keys and is about to head out the door, but she pauses to hug her Mom and sister and her Mom argues with her and tries to convince her not to hike to Perilous Peak.
TWIST: The Masked Figure gets out of his car, creeps up onto rings McKenzie’s Mom’s doorstep, then leaves a large photo of the Grim Reaper on the doormat, rings the doorbell and flits away like a phantom.
TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT 1: McKenzie finds a backpack in the cave with a note that says “I’m being chased by a guy with a mask and knife! Please help me!
CURRENT DIRECTION: McKenzie is looking through the backpack for clues to the note writer’s identity.
TWIST: McKenzie pulls out a bloody white scarf and SCREAMS!
ACT 2
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Tuvelle points to a red mark on her arm and a Black Widow Spider that’s nearby. She’s been bitten by the spider and she sprained her ankle!
CURRENT DIRECTION: Tuvelle pulls out her first aid kit to treat the spider bite and wrap Tuvelle’s ankle.
TWIST: A giant tree limb, battered by the rain, CRACKS and falls only a few feet away from them, making them both SCREAM!
ACT 3
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT: When McKenzie falls through the rickety bridge to the stream below and hits scrapes her leg on a rock and blood gushes out of her wound.
CURRENT DIRECTION: McKenzie surfaces from the water and crawls to the shore, her leg gushing with blood.
TWIST:<b style=”font-weight: bold;”> McKenzie picks her way through some downed tree limbs from the storm, trips and falls hits her bloody leg on a large stone, and SCREAMS in pain.
ACT 4
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT: Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Ghoul, climbs over the edge, and looks
around for McKenzie, and Terry climbs over the edge and lunges at Tuvelle,
dressed as the Masked Ghoul. They struggle on the ground and McKenzie sees her
chance and pulls off the Masked Figure’s mask, it’s Tuvelle!CURRENT DIRECTION: McKenzie is
stunned when she finds out Tuvelle is the Masked Figure! She’s too stunned to
speak for a few seconds.TWIST: Tuvelle reaches out and SLAPS
McKenzie in the face, then rolls on the ground and SHRIEKS with demented
LAUGHTER.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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Melanie’s Twists and Turns
What I learned: adding twists and turns create an intricate plot maze.
Act 1
Opening: Lure us into the story and introduce the lead character in action
Vivienne picks up daughter from her ex-husband’s house and finds a wound on her arm. Vivienne takes her to Urgent Care.
Vivienne talks to best friend about past trauma working at 911 along with her hateful ex-husband.
Direction: She is looking for compassion and someone to talk to
Twist: Turns out the best friend had dated her ex-husband briefly. Vivienne now knows she can’t talk to her about him.
Her best friend recommends seeing a professional to help her deal with everything.
Direction: Vivienne decides to confront husband about the wound on her daughter’s arm.
Twist: She sees her ex-husband at a cafe on a date with a blonde woman.
Inciting Incident: An event that propels the Hero on the journey
Vivienne is at work (the 911 Call Center) and receives
a woman caller who reports a power outage. Vivienne passes it off as a non-emergency, there’s no patrol car near her location and to call the power company. She calls back thinking she saw a shadow outside her home. Vivienne tells her to call the power company, hold tight. The next time she calls, she’s been stabbed and is at the hands of an intruder. She questions why she didn’t believe her. Vivienne hears her being bludgeoned to death on the call. Officers arrive – too late.
Direction: Vivienne blows the woman off.
Twist: The woman we recognize as being with her ex-husband previously.
Funeral.
Officers confront her after the woman’s husband questions her fault on not taking the murder seriously. (Villain Plan 1)
Direction: Vivienne answers their questions
Twist: In doing so, the supervisor starts to question her mistakes.
Turning Point 1: A major twist that locks the hero into the conflict. Point of no return.
Officers take her in for questioning. She becomes a suspect. Vivienne has a panic attack.
Act 2
Vivienne starts therapy…with psychiatrist Hugo Gage. He starts to ask probing questions. Did her actions kill the woman? She is overcome with guilt. (Villain Plan 2)(Life Threatening Seq 1)
She fills RX for medication.
Direction: She takes the pill, looking for relief.
Twist: The medication gives her more anxiety.
She takes Natalie to her friend’s home for a sleepover.
At work a call comes into 911, Vivienne is on another call and her supervisor takes it. Officers are dispatched.
Direction: Officers investigate the scene.
Twist: We see it’s Natalie’s friend’s mom who has been killed. (Life Threatening Seq 2)
Natalie is questioned again by the cops
Direction: She tells them she walked home with her friend.
Twist: She’s caught in a lie and officers think she is covering for her mom.
Vivienne takes more pills. Increases her anxiety level. (Mystery 2)(Life Threatening Seq 3)
Midpoint: A major revelation. The opposition is 10x worse than thought.
Vivienne’s best friend calls her at 911. Her power is out and an intruder enters. The same circumstances as before. (Villain Plan 3)
Direction: The killer attacks the next victim.
Twist: But after he leaves, we see she is alive.
Act 3
Direction: Vivienne is at her best friend’s side at the hospital. This is too close for comfort.
Twist: While her friend sleeps, she sees on her cell that her ex-husband had called her last night.
She follows her ex-husband thinking that he may be the killer. (Mystery 3)
Direction: Vivienne tells Natalie she is not to see her dad due to the danger.
Twist: Natalie thinks she’s behind the cases and goes to stay with her dad anyway. (Life Threatening Seq 4)
Turning Point 2: Major setback. The lowest of the low.
Her daughter calls dad to pick her up because she doesn’t want to live with her mom anymore. She’s OD’ing on prescription drugs. She’s slipping at work. And she gets a mysterious call threatening her daughter’s life. (Life Threatening Seq 5)
Act 4:
Direction: Before leaving for work, Vivienne flushes her pills, throws out her alcohol. She realizes they are affecting her judgement and she needs to get a grip to protect her daughter.
Twist: At work, the supervisor finds pills in Vivienne’s desk, and fires her. (Life Threatening Seq 5)
Climax: The ultimate expression of the main conflict
Daughter calls 911, Vivienne recognizes the number and picks it up. Daughter is hiding in a closet from an intruder. Vivienne leaves to rescue her. (Mystery 4) (Villain Plan 4)(Life Threatening Seq 6)
Direction: Vivienne gets there and expects to find her ex-husband
Twist: She comes face to face with Hugo Gage – her psychiatrist is the killer and husband to the woman who had called. (Villain Plan 5)(Life Threatening Seq 7).
He gains the upper hand – intending to kill her because she let his wife die. She calls 911 but the Supervisor doesn’t pick-up.
Direction: Vivienne calls her ex-husband, the last person she ever thought she’d call, for help.
Twist: Her ex-husband comes to the rescue and saves her life. Hugo is arrested.
Resolution: The end of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way.
Vivienne gets daughter back, and mends relationship with ex-husband. New therapist turns into her new best friend.
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Jeff Guenther’s Twists and Turns
What I Learned: Twists and turns are very effective, especially if they are not just for the sake of a twist, but are logical, previously foreshadowed, thematic, in character, or unexpected. The map if very tentative, may be overcooked at this point.
Reel 1. Setup: the Hero’s status quo, ending with the inciting event.
Boyfriend is iffy [relationship could end] and he’s unemployed.
MC, a nurse, has no job, fears being broke.
She has a daughter out of wedlock [her secret could be revealed.]
CURRENT DIRECTION: Taking a job at Burgerpalooza
TWIST: 7. New options emerge. She hears of job at St. Julian’s Hospital, which has a bad rep.
Desperate, MC takes job at Hospital for the pay, starts work.
CURRENT DIRECTION: Thinks Hospital job is safe.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. Indigent patients often attack staff [physical danger]
Young girl is admitted for tonsillitis. VILLAIN’S PLAN TO ATTACK THE HOSPITAL
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC is off the indigent ward and safer.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. Strange phenomena begin [the unknown] on a paying patient floor.
MC fears for the young patient who is on the floor below [danger to someone they know]
Reel 2. Predicament ‘lock in’ to the conflict (end of Act 1).
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC has only has a few patients besides the girl, no indigents.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. Escalating phenomena, observed by MC, definitely supernatural
The eldritch janitor [Mr. Red Herring?] scares her [stalked].
CURRENT DIRECTION: Her job is safe.
TWIST: 9. A trust is violated. Her secret comes out and she may lose her job.
CURRENT DIRECTION: The paying floors seem safe.
TWIST: 8. A mistake returns to haunt them. Janitor says that floor was haunted a long time ago.
The girl’s father (he’s the villain) disappears.
CURRENT DIRECTION: The hospital is fully staffed
TWIST: 6. New consequences emerge. Staff start to quit. VILLAIN’S PLAN PART 1
Sr. Polygrippa’s team uses holy water, prayer, etc., to try to stop the phenomena
CURRENT DIRECTION: The phenomena seem to abate.
TWIST: 14. The “solution” makes things worse. Doesn’t work, causes worse problems.
Reel 3. First attempt to deal with problem. Easy option fails, stakes rise.
CURRENT DIRECTION: They’re short an anesthetist, so MC will assist in the O.R.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. MC has phobia infections from sharp medical instruments.
Girl is operated on.
CURRENT DIRECTION: Operation is smoothly under way.
TWIST: 2. Lost their resources. O.R. lights fail VILLAIN’S PLAN 3
MOTIF: Sharps, scalpels [presence of weapons]
They use emergency lights and move the girl to another room.
Girl’s mother dies in the room next to her. VILLAIN’S PLAN 2
Reel 4. More grandiose, extreme plan goes horribly wrong (ends with the mid-point)
CURRENT DIRECTION: They decide to shut down two floors.
TWIST: 7. New options emerge. An exorcist is found, Fr. Wilbur Dean.
Mother’s autopsy reveals she died from excess alcohol
MC wonders where Mother got the alcohol.
Exorcist called in by Sr. Polygrippa
Exorcist scares MC with stories [talking about the danger]
CURRENT DIRECTION: Restaffing begins. Exorcism starts.
TWIST: 9. A trust is violated. Calling in the exorcist is leaked to newspaper,
CURRENT DIRECTION: Staff is up to previous level.
TWIST: 6. New consequences emerge. Patients leave re newspaper VILLAIN’S ULTIMATE PLAN
The phenomena are traced to proximity of girl (next door, floor above, etc.)
They shut down all those rooms, move the girl near the chapel.
CURRENT DIRECTION: Outbreak of phenomena is contained in now vacant rooms.
TWIST: 10. We see an unexpected side of someone. The Exorcist ID’s the girl as a poltergeist. All hell breaks loose.
CURRENT DIRECTION: He prepares to exorcise the girl.
TWIST: 1. Something planned for doesn’t happen. Exorcist is killed mysteriously.
Reel 5. Hero retreats to address flaw Confronts her weakness. Fear? Lack of Faith?
MC begins to investigate the rooms.
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC finds something strange about the room, openings in the wall that don’t seem to go anywhere.
TWIST: 6. New consequences emerge. Sr. Polygrippa orders MC to stop snooping in the rooms. [demand to stop investigating.]
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC investigates basement.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. MC Finds awful notes in her locker [threats]
She reports the notes to Sr. Polygrippa, gets bawled out.
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC talks to Janitor, who says he knows secrets about the old wing.
TWIST: 4. A new problem occurs. Janitor dies during storm; is put in cold storage until police can get there.
She fears what killed the janitor, think it’s demonic.
She gets mad, decides to face her fears and continue to investigate, even if she loses her job
She meets with Sr. Polygrippa, other staff.
CURRENT DIRECTION: Sr. Polygrippa agrees to fix something associated with the old wing.
TWIST: 6. New consequences emerge. Someone overhears their conversation [surveillance]
CURRENT DIRECTION: Sr. Polygrippa requisitions the repair work.
TWIST: 5. A lie is uncovered. The requisition is denied. Money needed for repairs is gone. VILLAIN’S PLAN 3
Reel 6. New plan, hero prepared to change All goes wrong, and new revelation. (end of Act 2)
CURRENT DIRECTION: Girl will be discharged soon.
TWIST: 9. A trust is violated. Co-worker reports MC snooping to the hospital manager [someone covert near them.] and she is punished.
CURRENT DIRECTION: Polygrippa donates personal funds to order repairs.
TWIST: 4. A new problem occurs. Polygrippa is missing VILLAIN’S PLAN 2
MC searches for Sister Polygrippa.
CURRENT DIRECTION: The funds are secured; but Polygrippa’s signature is needed.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. MC is attacked while looking for Sister in the records room
She escapes but found there’s no money because unneeded supplies and facilities are being bought. She informs the CFO.
CURRENT DIRECTION: CFO calls in the auditors.
TWIST: 6. New consequences emerge. MC is threatened with being fired.
Reel 7. Change, rejoins the battle. Goal reached, but . . .Final twist, Villain turns the tables.
The hospital is bankrupt [loss of a job or career.] VILLAIN’S ULTIMATE PLAN
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC looks for the books to give to the auditors.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. MC’s attacked while checking records [lured into danger].
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC hides in the cold storage room.
TWIST: 13. The worst thing possible happens. MC finds Polygrippa in cold storage on a slab next to the janitor, who is covered with a blanket.
Polygrippa has records in her apron.
MC finds evidence nun was looking at old employee records.
MC finds evidence nun was looking at recent expenditures.
CURRENT DIRECTION: MC grabs evidence and starts out of cold storage, but she stops to cover the janitor better.
TWIST: 6. New consequences emerge. Janitor’s body is missing, replaced w. anat. skeleton
CURRENT DIRECTION: She tries the door to go meet with the auditors.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. She is locked in cold storage room
Reel 8. Finally defeats antagonist. Wrap up, epilogue, the New World
MC discovers a speaking tube in the cold storage room, calls for help.
Polygrippa’s evidence shows funds were spent for unnecessary expenditures VILLAIN’S PLAN 3
MC finds that EMTs are being bribed to bring more indigents VILLAIN’S PLAN 4
CURRENT DIRECTION: She goes to the office to call the police.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. On the way, MC finds organ harvesting has begun. VILLAIN’S ULTIMATE PLAN
She fears she might be next.
CURRENT DIRECTION: She runs away from the transplant surgery wing.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. The head of the Hospital sees her.
CURRENT DIRECTION: She hides in an old wing.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. 12. Secret identity uncovered. Villain chases her, tries to kill her.
CURRENT DIRECTION: She runs to the top floor.
TWIST: 11. It just got more dangerous. Poltergeist appears in front of her, grinning fiendishly.
Villain reminds girl he’s her father, tells her to kill MC
CURRENT DIRECTION: Girl approaches MC, arms outstretched.
TWIST: 3. Someone changes sides. Girl swivels, pushes Father down stairwell from 10 feet away.
Girl embraces MC. MC tells the police Villain stumbled and fell.
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Kathryn’s Twists and Turns
I learned an awesome tool to make scenes more intriguing before they are even written. I also learned I had not at all been thinking about this script from a scene level.
STRUCTURE FOR MR & MRS AMERCIA
OPENING: Mass of people don’t show up to campaign rally, all have fevers
-night of opening debate his wife is ill and can’t be there
-the President has terrible headaches
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
Max’s campaign manager is staunch
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer, he goes to meet her at a restaurant and she isn’t there. Max goes to his wife’s grave
-the “good Dr.” demands investigation into why
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-Max is threatened by the opponent
-Max’s car is tailed the night of the announcement
INCITING INCIDENT: Max gets in a car crash.
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S, man was a war vet/amputee
-wakes up with Emily, flashing lights, no memory; Emily is in a Dr.’s coat
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-the front runner dies (of the virus)
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after
-campaign manager has a sick daughter, Max tells him the truth about Emily in private
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-Emily shuts down cancer research to make the whole clinic rehab
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-target physical therapists for virus
-leaked to the press that Emily is AI, he denies
his house is targeted, and the clinic, death threats
Campaign manager meet the Dr., hands him paperwork,
-good Dr. dies–by his own virus
TURNING POINT 1: Emily is arrested.
Max prepares to resign,
-alter voting polls, polls sky-rocket
Emily begs him to stop investigating the virus
-people get virus passports
Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
-Pres finds surveillance attached to his watch
he misses a check up and is followed
-The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
Max becomes president
-(the Dr. links Emily, then dies)
MIDPOINT: Max’s brain is in a robot body.
Max pulls over car following him—
-there is no one in the car following him, car blows up
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
Max leaves his “watch” in his car, then goes back in—he sees Emily put a body in the car?
-Emily is shot, insists he take her to the lab to fix herself
-he goes underground, under wife’s grave, to lab
-there is a crematorium in the lab
He is threatened with a Supreme Court case
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
-Max’s headaches make him blackout, Emily gives him a reboot, takes herself off the grid
TURNING POINT 2: The brain is dying, Max collapses during state of the union.
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres himself and Emily refuses
Dr turns Emily off, but she is off the grid—he sends all workers to locate her
-Max is kidnapped and tied to a machine
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
CLIMAX: Emily kills Dr. S and tells Max to turn her off.
-the Dr “kills himself”
-power in the clinic goes out. Dr. is dead, everyone else (except Emily) is “off”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
RESOLUTION: Max decides to become a full robot. Address the public as if he were human and funds the viral research. “the people are safe”
-Max sends politicians with virus to health conference w/officials in…Russia?
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