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Day 9 Assignments
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6 Replies
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Assignment 9 – Adding Physical Humor and Prop Humor
What I learned from doing this assignment was to look for areas in the comic scene where physical and prop humor can be added. In my scene I found several areas that add additional incongruence and humor to the dialogue.
Main areas of incongruence – Car runs out of gas with driver who only navigates by stores and malls for reference.
Father is ex-military who blurts out commands as if he is still in the military when woken up suddenly.
(I just realized I used name Cheryl – not intended as a dig on our administrator, Cheryl.)
Changing the name to one that is more aligned with the character I can up with:
Ryder – she should be a rider not a driver.
Additional incongruent ways to present action/props.
Ryder’s Car is left on an angle causing other drivers to veer to avoid the car causing crashes and accidents.
In addition, I had a police officer leave a ticket on the car for illegal parking on a highway. Ryder complains, “It’s not like there is a meter to put a quarter in.”
I have the physical action of her falling over the fence. I added Ryder’s purse strap kept her from hurting herself but then the fence collapsed.
The dog will be used as a prop when the two guys stop to check out Ryder, one hops out and the dog pees on him. Disgusted they leave before telling her where she is.
The boots are a physical prop, she steps in muddy patch while climbing the fence. She grabs a sales paper in the news bin in front of the store and wipes off the mud. It had the address of the store on it.
Rather than go into the Dunkin donuts and ask the patrons what the address is, Ryder disses donuts as evil and asks where there is a Starbucks. The cop is stuffing a donut in his mouth. I added more of Ryder talking about all the bad ingredients in the donuts and health risks causing the officer to toss his donut back in the bag and leave.
Outline Revised:
Assignment 9A – Revised Outline with Props and Physical Humor added
Ira Drower’s Topper Outline
What I learned from this lesson was how to look for bigger laughs and running laughs by repeating he same statement. Using a brainstorm session can point to these potential running laughs as well as tighten up the comedic scene.
Rough Draft:
Characters: Ryder – clueless college student who ran out of gas on highway and can only give directions by what store or mall is nearby.
Dad: Concerned father when woken up suddenly believes he is back in the military.
Ryder is driving home late from her girlfriends when the car starts to hesitate and stall out. She pulls over on the highway at an angle with the rear of her car sticking out on the highway. She calls her father.
Dad answers but in his half-sleep blurts out “All-right recruits nap-time is over. Drop your socks and grab your cocks we’re marching today.”
Ryder: First off, dad I don’t have one of those and I am not marching in these boots. They are brand new.
Dad wakes up and realizes it’s his daughter. Ryder, what’s up? Are you OK?
Ryder: No, I am not ok. The car died on the highway. A car passes screeching as it swerves to avoid Ryder’s car.
Dad: Did you remember to put gas in when you get to half a tank like I told you? The fuel gauge doesn’t work it shows half a tank.
Ryder: How am I supposed to know when it is at half tank when it shows it is at half a tank?
Dad: That’s what that gas app is for that I put on your cell phone. It calculates the distance you drive and lets you know when to add gas.
Ryder: Oh, I thought it was for the other kind of gas. You know the smelly kind like if you ate at a Mexican restaurant or something. What they really need is a crap app. To tell you if you are about to step into something brown and smelly.
Ryder: A San Francisco version would be helpful.
Dad: The fuel gauge is not the only thing registering half-full.
Dad: What about Google Maps on your phone? That will tell you where you are.
Ryder: I had to delete that app. It was too confusing. I mean turn in 100 feet. Does it expect me to stop the car and go out and measure? Plus the little
arrow was always going the opposite of where I was.
Dad: Never mind. I’ll come get you. Where are you?
Where are you?
Ryder: On the highway.
Dad: What highway? Did you see any signs along the way?
Ryder: I did but I did not read them. I only need to know to turn at the tower by JC Penny’s.
Dad: Are there any signs you can read now?
Ryder: Yes, here’s one. 6.2
Dad: That is a mile marker. Any street signs you can see or overhead signs?
Ryder: No, and there are no malls near here.
Dad: Well, you will have to find one for me to get you. Are you by a neighborhood?
Ryder: Yes, there’s a fence and some homes behind it.
Dad: Go hop the fence and check out the street signs, call me back.
Ryder walks across the grassy area toward the fence stepping into a muddy puddle. ‘Yuck – and my new boots’ What good are the boots if they get wet?
Ryder ventures out and tries to climb over the fence. Her purse strap leaves her hanging on the other side of the fence. The fence breaks, not her purse strap as she falls over it.
A dog barks and lights go on in the home and Ryder runs out of the yard leaving the gate open.
Ryder tries to read the street signs, but it is dark, and she left her glasses in the car. A small poodle follows her through the neighborhood.
The Halloween decorations spook her, she screams and the poodle barks. She picks up the poodle asking it, I don’t know what this place is, but I think I saw the wicked witch. You can be my protector. Reads his dog tag incorrectly, Pierre. The dog barks in agreement.
Seeing some bright lights Ryder walks with dog in tow to check it out. She fashioned a leash with a Halloween decoration. She still cannot read the street signs without her glasses but can see the addresses which she ignores. Instead, she checks out the windows of the stores on the main street.
Ryder: ooh, they have a Nordstrom’s Rack here? How come I’ve never been here? And my boots are on sale for $39.95. I paid $59.95!
She checks out the other shops on the street. A Shoe Carnival, Ann Taylor, Yuck, not my style. A Casual Corner. Look Pierre, spring fashions. Ryder and Pierre continue walking along the street, a custom dress shop, too expensive, a second-hand store. She grabs an ad flier from a stack in front of the store and wipes her boots. She ignores the address on the flier.
Do you see this, Pierre? Eighties fashions are the latest. Pierre stares into the window with Ryder.
A car with a couple of young men pulls up along the road.
Dude 1: Hey babe? Going my way? Dude one hops out of the car.
Ryder: How would I know which way you are going? She looks at Pierre.
Dude 2: Ask her how much? Dude 1 checks her out head to toe. How much?
Ryder: Oh, $59.95 but they are on sale at Nordstrom’s rack for $39.95.
She shows off her boots.
Dude1: You look all revved up and running hot.
Ryder: Actually, ran out of gas. Pierre takes a leak on Dude 1.
Dude 2: Let’s go. This chick is nowhere. The two guys take off.
Ryder picks up Pierre: You here that we are Nowhere. At least we now have a town name. Ryder continues to walk window shopping with Pierre. A police car pulls up and asks Ryder if she needs help.
Ryder: No, my dad is coming to pick me up.
Cop: Why don’t you wait at the Dunkin’ Donuts across the street. Cop starts munching on a donut.
Ryder: Ye-ew. No thank you. I wouldn’t want to even get close to that stuff. Do you know what’s in those things? Poison, that’s what. Carcinogins, saturated fat, carbs galore. I hear the cholesterol comes from dead babies. Is there a Starbucks nearby?
The cop places his half-eaten donut in the bag and tosses it on the floor.
Cop: About a mile down the street but it’s closed. You sure you are, Ok?
Ryder: I have Pierre for protection. He may be small, but he is feisty.
Pierre barks.
Cop: Suit yourself. Cop pulls away.
Ryder calls her dad
Dad: Elevation 30 degrees, distance three thousand yards, Fire!
Ryder: Dad, are you awake?
Dad: Latitude 26 degrees west, longitude 160 degrees south. You must cross enemy lines.
Ryder: Absolutely not. I refuse to go to Dunkin’ Donuts. Donuts are evil.
Mother wakes up and punches dad in stomach.
Dad: Oomph… oh Ryder. Did you figure out where you are?
Ryder: No, I left my glasses in the car and worse than that.
Dad: What. What happened?
Ryder: My boots I paid $59.95 are on sale for twenty dollars less!
Mother: Ask her what stores she sees.
Dad: What stores did you see?
Ryder rattles off the stores and says Dunkin is across the street but there’s a Starbucks one mile away.
Mother: She is at Dempster and Austin.
Dad: I can see how she gets her sense of directions. I’m on my way.
Dad picks up some gas in a gas can and drives to meet Ryder.
Dad: Where did the dog come from?
Ryder: Oh, this is Pierre. Pierre this is Dad.
Dad: It has a tag. The dog’s name is Tank. What is the address?
Dad drives to Tank’s house. The homeowner is outside calling for Tank.
Dad: Say goodbye to Tank.
She walks to homeowner holding the dog.
Ryder: Is this yours? Ryder snuggles Tank.
Goodbye Pierre, thanks for being my companion tonight.
A perplexed homeowner walks inside his house with Tank.
At the car, Dad pours the can of gas into the car.
Ryder finds a ticket on the car for illegal parking on a highway. Ryder complains, “It’s not like there is a meter to put a quarter in.”
Several car crashes are being attended to up ahead.
Ryder: Where have I seen one of those before? Oh, there’s one of those in the trunk.
Dad opens the trunk finding a gas container filled with gas.
The next day, Dad places a sign on the windshield of the car. For sale, Fuel gauge like daughter shows tank half-full.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Ira Drower. Reason: forgot to add google map app
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Brad’s Action/Props
What I learned from this assignment is that it can be helpful to think of all the props you may be able to employ in a comedic scene before deciding how that scene will unfold.
Main area of incongruence: An astronaut is about to blast off with two guys who know nothing about being an astronaut, one of whom wants to sabotage the mission, and the other who just lives to get high. I would categorize this is Forced Union of Incompatibles, but the comedic moments are really more Misinterpretation. So maybe it’s Misinterpretation caused by the Forced Union. 🙂
Props:
Helmets, Gloves, Spacesuit, Oxygen hoses, Joint/weed, control panel/associated switches & buttons, abort handle, manual
Swift, Dan and Dirk are harnessed in, Swift in the center seat. Dirk tries to convince him they’re not astronauts.
Dirk We’re not supposed to be here. Swift: I know. Shame about Spreckles and Hampton.
Dirk: We’re not astronauts. Swift: That’s what I kept telling them; they wouldn’t listen.
Dirk: We just wanted to get high. Swift: We’ll be a hundred miles high in no time.
Dirk: No “high” high. Swift: Any higher than that, we’re on our way to the moon.
Dirk tries rolling a joint with astronaut gloves. He uses the flight manual like an album cover to sort the stems and seeds. Dan rehearses turning the abort handle with his bulky glove.
Dirk tries to lick the joint but forgets he has a helmet on. It crashes into his helmet and weed flies everywhere. Swift looks quickly at Dirk; they crash helmets. Swift realizes they’re not astronauts.
Dan goes to turn the abort handle; Swift dives to stop him; the three of them are a tangled fighting mess: Dirk on top of Swift; Swift on top of Dan. Dan can’t reach the abort handle or the control panel.
Dan: Hit some buttons. Dirk: It’s a zipper.
As they fight for control of the abort handle and the countdown is in the final 30 seconds there are 3 cutaways to people who are oblivious to the stir fry of astronaut arms and legs flailing about in the command module.
Carolyn (Swift’s wife) with the wives of the two astronauts who got pulled watching the countdown on TV: “Tom and Ace should in there.”
Spectator: Such brave men.
Launch Control Director: Apollo, you are looking good.
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Amanda Avalon’s Action/Props
What I learned is outlining a scene is important and adding comedy to the outline helps to write it.
Main area of incongruence
Mark wants to persuade Juniper to come back to him even though she’s on a date with another man.
Rewrite of the outline:
Juniper (40s) is having a romantic dinner with her boyfriend Noah (30s) who is her employee. Her ex, Mark (50s) enters the restaurant with his friend. Mark decides to have a little chat with Juniper to persuade her to come back to him even though she’s on a date with another man.
Mark is trying to stay calm even though he’s painfully finding out that his precious Juniper has moved on and has been sleeping with Noah. He ends up spilling redwine on his new slacks he bought to impress Juniper.
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Denice’s Action/Props
What I learned doing this assignment is: Breakthrough! A situation can be funny even if it’s not incongruent. (That’s the way my mind thinks and usually what I enjoy as being funny in a movie.) However, incongruence takes comedy to another level and allows for so much more creativity. It’s an evolving mind-process. Long way to go, but hopefully, I’m going to get it with more practice.
Comic situation: Thief pretends to be Captain of a cabin cruiser.
Main area of incongruence: Jake knows nothing about boats and is allergic to water.
New Outline:
Name of boat is: WILD ANIMAL
Jake steals aboard a cabin cruiser. Terrified of water.
He can’t open the cabin door.
He slithers through bathroom window.
Steps on toilet. Loses sock. Starts itching
He opens drawers in cabin, looks for money, pockets change, sees key to start boat
Daisy hails him. Needs him to take her to yacht in ocean. Her dog is a Newfoundland. Very friendly.
“I don’t take animals.”
“He won’t be any trouble.”
She offers him $50 dollars. He reluctantly agrees.
She enters cabin.
Punchlines: “Nice color.”
“Pink cuts down on the water’s reflection.”
He unhooks rope. Sexy music like “LET’S GET PHYSICAL” begins. Can’t turn it off. Stops when rope retracts.
Daisy discovers drawer with sex toys.
Dog accidentally pushes control, boat takes off.
Jake flies off back. Flails. Disappears underwater.
Dog jumps in ocean. Hauls Jake to shore.
Daisy turns boat around. Helps him aboard. Dog shakes water on him.
Punchline: “You own a boat, but can’t swim?”
“I like riding on top.”
Jake dashes for a towel.
Punchlines: “You can’t put ocean water on a Hamam.”
“I could use one of their beers.”
He wipes fast, but itches, can’t get his clothes off
fast enough.
Punchlines: “What are you doing?”
“I’m allergic.”
“To clothes?”
“Water.”
He wants her off the boat.
She offers him $500 dollars.
He agrees.
Jake takes stolen change out of his jeans. Throws it into ocean and makes a wish.
Daisy, in a hurry to catch yacht, drives.
He changes into the only clothes available – animal- print, low-cut blouse and skirt of a woman who is short and heavy.
Punchlines: “My, ah, aunt is a gnome.”
“Who likes sex toys.”
“She’s a collector.”
Storm blows in.
Jake looks in a drawer for shoes. Cat hisses. Leaps out of drawer. Lands on dog’s back.
Choppy waves reveal a reef.
Jake, Daisy, and Cat shriek.
Boat runs aground. Rips off motor.
Can’t call for help.
Punchlines: “I’m not going in the water.”
“You ruined my whole career.”
“I’ll ruin my life.”
“Stay here. See what happens when the tide comes in.”
Cut To:
Dog pulls life preserver to shore with a terrified Jake balancing on his knees, holding an angry cat whose head sticks out a slit in the towel covering it. Daisy swims alongside. “Isn’t the water beautiful, Captain?” or “Shame you can’t be baptized.” Or?
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Anthony Ward’s action props.
What I learned is how to write physical action and use props to enhance the comedy in a scene / movie.
Incongruent: A well manicured momma’s boy goes on a hunting trip with two rugged outdoorsmen.
Rich and Mick are at the camping spot. Mick is sitting the sharpening his hunter’s knife. Rich is loading ammo into the magazine. They have all of the supplies they will need neatly packed and attached to their backpacks and sleeping bags. They are wearing camouflage hunting clothes.
Rich tell Mick that he doesn’t think Tony is going to show. Low and behold Tony arrives late. He is wearing a red skullcap and a yellow bubble jacket. He has a lot of luggage with him. Tony trips over the luggage as he is taking it out his smart car. Tony is happy to show off the compass app he downloaded on his seat phone. He got the free version so every so often an add poops up on the screen while using the app. (During the trip add will pop up to disturb the deer they are hunting.) He tells the two how much fun this is going to be.
Mick ask Tony what he has on and calls him K & M for ketchup one mustard. Because of the colors he is wearing.
Rich ask Tony is he ready to go hunt something. Tony is ready, but Rich shows Tony his gun, Mick shows his. Mick and Rich both have riffles with scopes on top. Tony pulls out a golden revolver that he brags about the great deal he got at the pawn shop.
Rich brags about his military experience and so does Mick. Tony feels like he has to prove he is a tough guy so he lifts his shirt to show where he was once shot with a bb gun.
They ask Tony why he brought suitcases and so much luggage.
He explains to them that he had no idea how to dress so he brought options.
They head for the site where they will setup camp. Tony has the app open and an audible add pops up for a new medicine to treat erectile disfunction.
The three men are walking the trail. Tony is pulling a dolly with all of his luggage strapped to it.
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Janeen’s Action/Props
What I learned doing this assignment is the more of these activities I do, the more in focus and focused the scene becomes.
Comic Situation Outline:
Ivy, the Secret Service agent, arrives before Nick and the President’s parents do and is lying in wait inside the cottage.
Nick and the parents come into the cottage in the dark, not wanting to call attention to their entrance.
Nick leaves to hide the car.
Ivy announces her presence to Holly and Rudy in a happy reunion.
Nick returns and mistakes Ivy for a threat to the parents’ safety.
2. Main area of incongruence for my story: Nick, tough special ops guy, has Grizzly, a delicate teacup poodle as his PTSD dog that he trusts implicitly and would protect to the death.
3. Action props already in the scene: Holiday decorations, including a collection of expensive Murano glass dogs that are very fragile. In spite of Nick’s protection of Grizzly, the little dog is routinely used as a weapon to bite ears, fingers, etc. to help Nick. Grizzly also travels in a case made out of two combat helmets and lined with pink satin (blue if Grizzly is played by a boy dog. :-> ).
Outline:
Ivy breaks into the cottage and scopes it out with a penlight, noting the delicate glass dog collection covering most horizontal surfaces and making jokes about it.
Ivy hides when she hears people approaching and recognizes Rudy and Holly’s voices who don’t sound frightened. She is perplexed.
Nick sends Grizzly into the cottage and asks if there are any threats. Grizzly runs right up to Ivy who picks up Grizzly and gives the tiny pet a hug, then puts her down again and shoos her away.
Grizzly returns to Nick and tells Nick via a lick on the nose that there are no threats.
Nick hustles Rudy and Holly into the cottage, telling them to remain in the dark and not disturb anything.
Ivy consults with them about Nick, finds out he is a good guy.
Nick returns, Rudy is startled and knocks over a glass dog, breaking it.
Nick signals for quiet but as each person moves, another dog is destroyed.
Nick picks up Grizzly who may be hurt by the broken glass.
Nick and Ivy fight although Nick is lovestruck and tries to subdue rather than hurt Ivy. Ivy doesn’t want to hurt Nick, but dodges his half-hearted grabs and attempts to detain her, telling him that they must leave the cottage immediately because the FBI knows this is his great aunt’s cottage.
Nick is crushed further with every dog that is broken, diving to catch one and knocking another off a table in the process.
Ivy tries to save dogs too and fails.
Holly and Rudy fail in their attempts.
In every case, as each glass dog, more expensive than the last, is broken, Grizzly is lovingly passed/tossed successfully from person to person as they attempt to rescue (and fail to do so) another glass dog.
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