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Day 9 Assignments
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6 Replies
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Madeleine Vessel’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is the more passes I make to this outline, the more fleshed out it becomes. Also, it’s changing a lot from my first idea. I’m wondering where it will end up.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established:
INT. ABBOTT LIVINGROOM – DAY (DUSK)
The Abbott girls, Kathryn, age 14, and Mallory, age 12, prepare to walk the mile or so through the woods to Bedelia Umbra’s house. Bedelia is having her 13<sup>th</sup> birthday party.
Grace and Frank Abbott listen to the TV news.
Television news reports that a boy named Max Brackett was found dead, possibly of hypothermia, in a patch of snow on the grounds of Glenbrook Middle School. An A-student, he left behind his mother and stepfather.
Mallory knew Max from a summer art camp. She is horrified that someone their age, someone so talented could be dead.
The girls’ mother, Grace, tells them she will pick them up after the party. “Call me, and let me know when you’re ready to leave.
Kathryn and Mallory exit the door. On the way out, Mallory hugs the family’s dog. “Don’t miss me too much,” she says. She’s lovable but very conceited.
EXT. GLENBROOK MIDDLE SCHOOL – NIGHT
On the way to the birthday party, Kathryn and Mallory pass by the site of Max’s death Did he really die from hypothermia?
Mallory finds a pocketknife she believes belonged to Max. “I watched him sharpen colored pencils with this,” she says. Kathryn tells Mallory to put the knife back where she found it.
Mallory pretends to put the knife back where she found it, but then, at the last moment, when Kathryn isn’t looking, she puts it into her pocket. Max’s ghost follows them.
EXT. OLD LADY SETTER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The girls pass by Old Lady Setter’s house. They see her leaving the house with a suitcase.
INT. THE UMBRA HOUSE – NIGHT
At the birthday party, everyone exclaims over Mallory’s clothes and makeup. She intentionally outshines everyone there.
At the birthday party, Lili Umbra, Bedlia’s mother, gives her a Ouija Board for her and the girls to play with.
Kathryn, who is Catholic, shrinks back from the forbidden game. Max, who has been hovering around Mallory, also shrinks back.
Kathryn whispers in Mallory’s ear that they are not permitted to play.
Mallory refuses to heed Kathryn’s warning. She doesn’t believe in that taboo. “It’s just a game,” she says. “What harm could it do?”
All the girls except Kathryn are lured into playing with the Ouija Board.
Kathryn silently calls on St. Michael the Archangel to defend them from evil.
Mallory takes her turn at the Ouija Board. She asks the Ouija Board, “When will I die?” The Board answers, “On your 13<sup>th</sup> birthday.
Mallory loses it.
Kathryn tries to calm Mallory down. She says, “The Ouija Board’s just trying to scare you.”
Bedelia is delighted by Mallory’s comedown.
When Mallory won’t calm down, Kathryn tells Bedelia that it’s best they leave. They head out into the dark and the snow. Kathryn prays the rosary as they go.
EXT. TRAIL THROUGH THE WOODS – NIGHT
The girls take a shortcut through the woods and get caught in blizzard conditions.
Looking for shelter, they come across Old Lady Setter’s house. The porch light is on and welcoming. There’s also a light on in the window.
Mallory wants to go inside. “Old Lady Setter isn’t home. She’ll never know.” She seeks and finds a window unlatched and with its bars open. Kathryn tries to stop her, but Mallory climbs in through the window. Reluctant to leave Mallory by herself, Kathryn climbs in after her. Max enters behind her.
INT. OLD LADY SETTER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Once inside the house, the window latches and the bars close and lock in front of it.
Mallory freaks.
Kathryn tells her to calm down. They’ll be able to leave through the front door. But then, they hear the doors and windows all lock by themselves.
When Kathryn tries to unlock and open the front door, she can’t. When she realizes that there might be no way out, she tells Mallory, “Maybe, it’s special security to protect all Old Lady Setter’s antiques.” The house does double duty as an antiques store.
Mallory pitches a fit.
Kathryn reassures Mallory. “ We’ll find a way out.”
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Inside the house, Kathryn looks for a way out, but all the windows are barred and latched, and all the doors are locked and won’t open from the inside. They are trapped. All escape routes seem cut off.
Mallory continues her hysterical behavior.
Kathryn distracts Mallory by turning her attention to the antiques. One is an old Steinway piano. Mallory is eager to try it. She sits down and begins to play.
Meanwhile, Kathryn looks around. She passes an old candelabra holding four candles. A box of matches sits alongside. Kathryn touches different items, she sees their histories revealed, including tragedies.
Touching a M1917 doughboy helmet, used by U. S. soldiers in World War I, she sees in a vision that it belonged to a soldier killed by a bullet to the chest at Argonne in France. He was 19 years old and unlucky enough to be caught up in the deadliest battle of the war.
Touching a steering wheel, she sees in a vision that it’s from a 1922 Sunbeam that crashed during a pick-up road race, killing the driver, an adventurer and risk-taker, who died at the age of 23.
When she joins Mallory at the Steinway, she touches it and sees that the 1920 Steinway piano was passed down in a family to a young female prodigy, who died in 1967 of a drug overdose at a college party. One bad choice, and she was dead.
Shivering, Kathryn takes out her rosary. The visions go away.
Then, suddenly, all the lights go out.
Mallory screams. Kathryn calms her down. “It’s the storm. I’ll check the circuit breakers.”
Feeling her way back to the candelabra, Kathryn lights the candles and carries into one room and then another. Mallory frantically sticks to her side.
Finally, they find the circuit breaker box. Kathryn checks the circuit breakers. None are blown.
Kathryn takes out her mobile phone. “We need to call Mom.” But there’s no phone service.
Mallory takes out her phone, tries to call home. It doesn’t work either.
Mallory needs to use the restroom.
INT. OLD LADY SETTER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
In the bathroom, Kathryn on the tub while Mallory uses the toilet.
Mallory preens in front of the mirror.
They hear a noise. Suddenly, they realize that there is someone else in the house.
INT. OLD LADY SETTER’S HOUSE – HALL – NIGHT
Kathryn steps out of the bathroom and comes face-to-face with Max. She knows right away that he’s Max’s ghost. Kathryn asks Max how he got into the house. He tells her he came in with Mallory. He’s surprised she didn’t know that. He acts like he’s still alive.
Mallory comes out of the bathroom and joins Kathryn. Kathryn introduces her to Max, but Mallory can’t see him, at least not until she sees his reflection in the hall mirror.
Mallory can’t seem to keep from looking at herself in the mirror.
Mallory sees Max. She loses it AGAIN!
Comforting Mallory, Kathryn feels the pocketknife in Mallory’s pocket. She takes it out and realizes that Max must be attached to it in some way. That’s why he’s there with them.
Mallory explains that she wanted his creativity. What she got was him. “I’m sorry.”
Kathryn explains the situation to Mallory. Max, hearing what she says, remembers what happened to him.
He remembers what happened to him. He’s full of anger toward his stepfather, who beat him and sent him out of the house to die. He blames his mother for allowing his stepfather to abuse him.
Now he accepts that he’s dead.
Kathryn suggests to him that dying with a grudge against his stepfather is preventing him from departing to the afterlife.
MIDPOINT: The malevolent ghost introduces himself and tells them they will die unless they can find his bones buried in the basement.
A malevolent ghost of a woman confronts the three. She sends Max flying. Now, she tells the girls that she has a surprise for them.
Reluctantly, Kathryn and Mallory and Max follow her into the living room and an old chest.
INT. OLD LADY SETTER’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Mallory opens the chest It’s full of beautiful clothes.
The malevolent ghost tells her she’s free to try on the clothes. “Have fun with it she says.”
Kathryn tries to persuade Mallory to close the chest.
Mallory gets angry. She refuses to follow Kathryn’s advice.
Max hides in the shadows.
Mallory tries on one dress after another and preens in front of a mirror.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Mallory tries on the last dress in the chest. It’s beautiful. She preens in front of a mirror.
Suddenly, the dress puts a strangle-hold on Mallory.ax creeps out of the shadows.
Mallory starts vomiting. Kathryn tries to release her from the dress to no avail.
Mallory remembers what the Ouija Board said and is convinced she’s going to die. She loses it believing that she will die without her parents ever finding her.
Mallory collapses.
Other ghosts of other children appear out of the woodwork. They are all raging, throwing things, threatening. Kathryn tries to protect a terrified Mallory.
The malevolent ghost enters into Mallory.
Midnight chimes on a clock upstairs. It’s Mallory’s 13<sup>th</sup> birthday. Mallory loses it. She believes her death is imminent based on the Ouija Board.
Kathryn begs the demon leave Mallory and enter into her.
The malevolent ghost obliges, suddenly diving out of Mallory into Kathryn. Kathryn is possessed.
The malevolent ghost is trapped inside Katherine, screaming to get out.
Finding herself all alone with a ghost and a possessed sister, Mallory starts praying Kathryn’s rosary.
It’s her only hope of getting rid of the malevolent ghost.
INT. FOYER – NIGHT
There’s a sound of a key in the front door. Old Lady Setter enters. As if by magic, she finds everything in the house put to right.
Mallory enters the foyer and finds the front door wide open. She’s tempted to leave without Kathryn when she has the chance.
She denies herself and runs back to the living room.
INT. OLD LADY SETTER’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Max and Mallory both pray for Kathryn’s deliverance.
The malevolent ghost is exorcised.
Kathryn’s possession and exorcism makes Mallory realize the error of her ways.
Kathryn realizes that Mallory does not need her anymore.
Mrs. Setter doesn’t seem surprised to find Kathryn and Mallory in the house. She gives Mallory a box and tells her to give it to her mother.
The girls leave.
The pocket knife remains behind in the house.
The ghosts of Max and others can be seen peering out the windows.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Malory and Kathryn go to the police.
Kathryn tells the police about what she knows about Max’s situation.
The story of Max’s abuse is exposed on TV news. His stepfather is arrested.
Max forgives his mother and departs for purgatory/or heaven.
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I learned that even with all the planning we’ve done up until now, you still need to turn it into a story by adding details that execute on the plan.
Readable Outline
Fire rages through an apartment building. The Fire Department arrives, but it’s not going to be an easy one to fight and there are still people in the building.
The fire chief rushes in to save them, but he gets trapped by falling debris, the result of shoddy construction. He has to watch the residents perish, while he himself burns to death slowly, and is engulfed in a ball of flames.
Some years later, another brand new building is seeing its first occupants, as the CEO of Haven Development welcomes his staff to their new office. The building isn’t even fully done yet, in fact their floor is the only one that is occupied. But nevertheless, several of the key employees are there, including the Senior VP, the Marketing Director and the CEO’s Assistant. Also in attendance for the walk through are the Architect of the building and the Contractor responsible for construction.
As the architect inspects the building, he notices some things that are not up to his standards, and points them out. But the Contractor dismisses his concerns and the Marketing Director puts her usual positive spin on things.
When they try to leave, they find the elevator is not working. A Security Guard who is making his rounds tells them that a mechanic is working on it.
When they try to access the stairwell, the door appears to be fused shut and won’t open. The Security Guard suggests they wait in the office while he goes to check on the mechanic.
The Security Guard goes to the machine room, where he discovers that the mechanic has been charred to death and the control board and communications panels have been fried.
He hurries back to the others to tell them to evacuate.
A Janitor who is waxing the floor helps them get the stairway door open. They begin to descend, but there are flames below that block their way.
They retreat and try another stairwell, but discover it is also blocked by fire.
The Janitor thinks he can access the elevator override, so he pries open the elevator doors and gets to work inside it.
The Contractor tells them there is a viaduct that can take them to the other side of the building, where the rear stairwell is. No one else is willing to crawl into the viaduct, so the Contractor goes alone.
The Contractor crawls through the viaduct but becomes stuck. Smoke begins to surround him from behind, and flames crawl up his legs. He writhes in pain, trying to pat the fire out and get loose, but he can’t. Right before the fire engulfs him, he sees a face in the flames.
Back in the office, the others hear a scream. The duct collapses and the Contractor’s charred body falls to the ground, but there is no sign of the fire.
They flee for the elevator and the Janitor now has it working, so they get in and try to go down. But the fire burns through the cable, and causes the elevator to drop suddenly and stop abruptly between floors.
Smoke starts to fill the car. The Janitor tries to pry open the doors, but he has trouble. The SVP thinks she has a better idea to escape through the hatch, but when she opens it, the fire bursts through the hole with human-like arms and pulls her from the car and envelops her.
The Janitor gets the doors open and they all climb out onto an unfinished floor of the building. The fire erupts into the hallway and they scatter for safety, separated by the flames.
The Architect tries to escape down a hallway, but without being finished, it quickly becomes a maze of corridors. At every turn, there is fire at the end of the corridor. He frantically runs back and forth trying to find an exit, when he comes to a dead end. He turns around to backtrack, but the fire has him cornered. It takes human form and hugs him to death in flames.
Meanwhile the CEO is trying to lead the rest of them to safety, but the fire erupts in a hallway. The Marketing Director is cut off from the rest. She grabs a fire hose and the fire monster pulls back, but the hose doesn’t work. The creature laughs and attacks her, grabbing the hose and strangling her with it (so she can’t even scream). She is then engulfed in flames and burned to death.
The others take refuge in an empty, unfinished office, where they argue about the fire and it’s strange behavior. The Assistant admits that she knows the shortcuts her boss takes. The Janitor supports her and the Security Guard is outraged. “If you took shortcuts in this building, then these deaths are on you.” They leave him in the office, slamming the door behind them on the way out.
The door gets stuck, and the CEO can’t get out. Smoke starts to fill the office. The fire tries to come through the door, but it can’t get through, so it smashes through a glass window to get at him. Wounded and scared, he falls on the floor, and the fire begins to engulf him. But he crawls away into a closet and slams the door. The fire engulfs the wall and door and he screams within.
The Security Guard leads the others through the unfinished corridors, looking for a way out, when the fire erupts from an empty office. He grabs a fire extinguisher and tries to fend it off while the Assistant and Janitor escape. But it runs out and the fire overtakes him. As it slowly burns him to death, he pulls out his pistol and shoots himself in the head to escape the pain.
The Assistant and Janitor duck into a machine room to take refuge. They try to come up with a plan to extinguish the fire. But water and fire extinguishers don’t work. The fire comes through large air ducts into the room and quickly surrounds them. They embrace each other in the impending doom.
The CEO bursts through the flames wrapped in fire retardant insulation. His flesh is charred but he is still alive. He gives them the insulation and tells them to run. The fire grabs him and throws him through the glass window to his death. The air rushes into the room and the fire swells.
The Janitor and Assistant make it out into the hallway and close the fire proof door. The Janitor realizes the fire needs oxygen, and he can reverse the HVAC machine to suck all the air out of the room, but he’ll have to go back in. And he’ll need the Assistant to distract the fire.
They wrap themselves in insulation and he grabs a fire extinguisher and they rush into the room. He blasts the fire creature with the extinguisher which slows it enough for the Assistant to run into the room and distract it. The Janitor begins work on the HVAC machine.
The fire closes in on the Assistant backing her up towards the window. Just as it’s about to close in on her, the Janitor reverses the HVAC unit and the creature is sucked back into the air vents.
He embraces the Assistant. It’s over. But as they hug, smoke starts spewing from every vent in the room and the air ducts start shaking violently. All at once the fire explodes from every vent, and a hundred fiery tendrils reach out and grab the Janitor. He is pulled away from the Assistant, and the fire slowly burns him to death as she watches.
With the Janitor gone, the fire turns on the Assistant, forcing her toward the window. She climbs out on the ledge to get away, 50 stories up. The fire follows. It looks her in the face, she thinks she’s about to die and so she jumps from the ledge. But the fire creature has its arm around her and keeps her from falling. It gives her a sympathetic look and then the creature dives off the ledge taking all of the fire with it. It evaporates into smoke and disappears in the air. The assistant crouches, crying, on the window ledge.
The Assistant is in an ambulance being tended to. The Fire Marshal talks to her about the fire and tells her that it looks like it was due to shoddy construction. She tries to tell him about the creature, but he dismisses it as trauma. He tells her it happens. A similar thing happened some years ago, at another building that took shortcuts – and their fire chief was killed.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Gregg Guest.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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I learned how to put all the plot pieces together and turn them into a solid and coherent outline.
ACT 1
EXT. WILDERNESS – DAY
An extreme hiker, OUTDOORS OLLIE, walks through a very secluded area. He is clearly an extreme hiking vlogger, but much crapper than he appears on camera. There are a number of jump scares. He gets chased by a bear, climbs up a tree and pepper-sprays the bear. Then he gets freaked out by a racoon (I hate those shifty little bastards). He hears a rustling in a bush and a chipmunk leaps out at him, freaking him out.
He stops, looks up at the setting sun and sets up a camera on a tripod. He gives a report on his trip out here, (Hey guys, Outdoors Ollie here) very macho, says it’s been an interesting day with some close encounters of the natural kind, and now I’m literally hundreds of miles from the nearest living soul.
He hears a noise that sounds like someone sniggering behind him.
It freaks him out a bit, but he tries to look macho in front of the camera. Maybe I’m not alone! he says, trying to laugh it off, but he is clearly unnerved. He walks towards the noise, after taking out and unfolding a comically large pocket knife. He steps onto something, which makes a slight clicking noise, and suddenly and swiftly sets off a huge bear trap that sinks into his midriff. He screams, then hears a loud ticking sound and looks puzzled but then we hear a second trap set off and a larger trap still flies up and decapitates him just below the shoulders.
He doesn’t have time to react, it all happens too quickly. We hear the sniggering sound again and then we see a shoeless foot stamp on a lever and the trap opens back up, the hiker’s body falling to the floor. The head is picked up off the floor by the hair by a filthy hand and the body is dragged away by the unseen killer.
INT. BRUNO’S BEDROOM – DAY
This room is chaotic. There is stuff everywhere and a couple of video game posters for The Forest, The Last of Us, Mortal Kombat, Wolfenstein II, Manhunt and Carmageddon framed posters on the walls.
CELINE and BRUNO, early 20s, are having fairly raucous sex. Celine is bouncing up and down on Bruno who is loving it. She is saying come on, come on, but s we close on her face, we see she is focusing on her smart watch calorie counter. As Bruno climaxes, Celine shouts Yes! iI just burned 76 calories. So not a complete waste of time.
Bruno says, Babe, you say the nicest things. He clearly doesn’t care. He’s not in love with her, he just loves shagging her. He’s not a complicated guy. She smiles a fake smile.
Suddenly the mood changes as there is a strange noise coming from the bathroom door. She climbs off him and tentatively opens the bathroom door. A cat leaps out on top of her. She shouts fuck and freaks out. I fucking hate cats. But he loves you. She looks at her watch. We’d better get going. We are not going to be late.
He says, Are you sure you want to come, ‘cos…
Of course I want to come, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.
It’s just, you know, you’re not technically invited.
Yes, but where you go I go, right?
Uh, sure…
Come on, let’s go. I fucking hate being late.
INT. AUBREY’s BEDROOM – DAY
His room is pristine. Nothing is out of place and there are a couple of Monet paintings on the wall and a couple of literary posters – one for Jean-Paul Sartre’s Huis Clos and another for Camus’ L’Etranger.
SHANIA and AUBREY are also having sex, but it is quite dull. They have clearly been together for some time. He tells her he is about to come and she says OK, she smiles but clearly isn’t that into it. He comes in a very protestant way and she feigns interest, He says it’s amazing how the sex is still so good, even after all these years. She says yeah…
Aubrey complains about the trip, he really doesn’t want to go – why does Justin have to invite us on these fucking trips? He knows I hate the outdoors. He’s a damn sadist. Shania tells him it will be fun, she can’t wait to hang out with Brittany. If she comes, says Aubrey. She hates the wilderness as much as I do.
The mood changes to one of suspense when they hear a noise. He goes to the closet and opens it slowly and a large white shaggy dog leaps out, knocking him over. Aubrey shouts, Roger, for fuck’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you to keep Bojo out of my room? I fucking hate dogs.
There is a car horn and Aubrey goes to the window. That can’t be Bruno… Sure enough, Bruno is outside, waving and smiling broadly, like the cat that got the cream. It’s a miracle, he’s NEVER on time, what the hell..?
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – DAY
They go down to the car and are both shocked to see Celine sitting in the passenger seat. Bruno jokes around, isn’t it great? Celine was able to come! Shania mutters, that’s more than I could manage. She greets Celine, they’re both civil and outwardly smiling, but it’s clear they’re not besties. Aubrey gives Bruno a look. What? Justin is gonna fucking freak.
INT. JUSTIN’S BEDROOM- DAY
Justin’s room is so manly it’s painful. The wall has photos of lakes and mountains and wildlife. He is clearly an outdoors fan.
JUSTIN and BRITTANY are having movie star sex. Everything is perfect, they are clearly very much in love. They reach a loud and hilarious climax. Justin is a big guy, in very good shape, Brittany is a bit more bookish but still very attractive.
The mood changes when they hear a noise. She is freaked out and goes to open the bedroom door and a huge tiger roars and knocks her over. She laughs and says I fucking love tigers.
He complains that she isn’t coming to the camping trip. Justin is a real outdoors type, Brittany not so much. She tells him that she’s not going to go, you go without me. You know I hate camping – it’s not camping, it’s a cabin! They’re all c-words to me. If god had wanted us to stay in cabins he wouldn’t have invented hotels with en-suite bathrooms and jacuzzi hot tubs. Does this cabin have a bathroom with hot water and a kitchen with a proper stove? Yes. And a butler. And a bar, with a really good bartender? He tries to persuade her. They hear the car horn. Seriously? Bruno is never on time…
He looks out of the window and sees Celine. Always on time, damn her. Shit. Justin begs Brittany to come with him now to protect him from Celine. Reluctantly, she agrees, but neither are happy about Celine being there.
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY
They come over to the car and Bruno smiles and points at his watch – what kept you? Brittany is frosty with Celine who is outwardly friendly. Brittany jumps into the back of the car with Shania and they hug, clearly good friends. She whispers, so..? Shania nods her head, smiling, but whispers to her to be quiet. She hasn’t told Aubrey yet, it’s still early.
Justin has a chat with Bruno and Aubrey away from the car – it is clear they are good friends who go back a long way. Justin is furious that Bruno has brought his ex without asking. It’s bad enough you’re dating her, but bringing her along? How fucking dumb can you get? Bruno calms him down, it will be great. She’s over you man. She’s just using you to get to me, you know that right? With that body she can use me to get to anybody.
Aubrey takes the piss out of the car – didn’t see you as a mini-van man, Bruno. Are you finally ready to settle down. It’s a rental, dickhead. And it fits six, so shut up. Did you pack your slippers? And your pipe? Fuck you. Eloquent with the come-backs, as ever. Bruno imitates Aubrey’s voice in an exaggerated way, repeating his sentence.
EXT. CITY LIMITS – DAY
The car winds its way along a highway that quickly turns into countryside.
INT. CAR – DAY
In the car, Bruno complains about this being a fucking gas guzzler. There’s no way we’ll be able to get to the cabin without running out of gas. They are in a pretty remote area already, but there is a big house that he spots and pulls over.
EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY
Bruno gets out and walks over towards a house where the owner is watering the lawn. He is a really dodgy-looking guy, the opposite of a city slicker. The guy nods at him and Bruno asks if he might have some gas going spare. The guy says are you serious? He points to the huge gasoline truck parked next to his house. Cool!
They all get out of the car to stretch their legs. Shania and Brittany go to find a spot to pee and Celine climbs into the very back seat and settles down to sleep.
Justin and Aubrey join Bruno and the man and they all chat as the guy fills the car’s tank with gas. He asks them where they’re heading and they tell him – Victorville Lake. Let me give you some extra to take – you don’t want to run out of gas if you’re heading that way. Whatever you do, don’t leave the main road. And don’t go west, up by the pines. Stay away from the pines. Why? Strange things happen out there. Papa Carter went up there just a few weeks ago to do some oil painting in the woods. Came back. He shakes his head sadly. Brun is intrigued – what happened? No paint brushes. They’d just disappeared. And he had no face. What? Well, no that last bit’s not true, but he couldn’t see properly no more. What? Yeah, he lost his reading glasses. Now he can’t fuckin read – can you imagine that? Not being able to read? Horrible. And Ma Hardesty went out there to go fishing. Never seen again. Well, not without a sunburn, anyway. And it was a really bad sunburn. It stung for days, she said. Just stay away. Nothing good happens up there. Shania tells Bruno to listen to the man – he seems to be very wise.
They all get back in the car
INT. CAR – DAY
They carry on with Justin now riding shotgun next to Bruno, Celine is trying to sleep in the far back next to a reluctant Aubrey who asks her to let Shania sit there. Celine refuses, saying she needs to sleep and the middle’s not comfortable enough. He says, Whatever makes you happy, princess.
I’m a fucking princess? You’re the one who brought a juicer on a camping trip.
The cabin’s kitchen is woefully ill-equipped, I’m not eating burnt burgers all weekend.
Woefully ill-equipped? Who even talks like that?
Someone with an education.
You arrogant fuck.
You joyless harridan. I don’t know what that means, but I know it’s not good. Justin shouts back telling them to shut up. Go to sleep, Celine. She opens her mouth to retort, thinks twice about it and mutters damn right I’ll go to sleep. I want to go to sleep. Not cos you told me to.
Justin also falls asleep, as does Aubrey. Shania and Brittany chat quietly among themselves. Shania tells her she is thinking of starting in-vitro. Brittany suggests she just finds a guy with better sperm…
EXT. MAIN ROAD – DAY
Bruno ignores the warning and, without telling the rest of them, leaves the main road. He trundles along a pretty crappy road, but comes across a large diversion sign. Shit, He turns onto an even crappier dirt road, gets exasperated and starts driving really fast. The GPS on his phone has stopped working, he’s driving blind.
Justin wakes up and they have a big argument about him leaving the main road – where the fuck are we? I don’t know, but who cares? We’ll get to somewhere! Justin tells him to slow down, as do the others, but instead he speeds up, yelling out loud. Bruno, for once go against type says Aubrey. Justin loses it and tells him to stop the car, this is bullshit: Bruno smiles and takes his hands off the wheel – you wanna drive? You drive, buddy!
Justin grabs the wheel but, just as he does the tires all suddenly burst, Justin loses control, the car careers off the road and slams into a tree trunk at such a speed that the car rears up on its hood and falls onto its roof.
As it does, it lands on a large, spiked tree stump that crashes through the windscreen and impales itself into Justin’s face. There is silence, all the passengers are knocked unconscious except Justin, who is very dead. We hear footsteps and the passenger door opens. We hear the same sniggering as in the opening scene.
EXT. DESOLATE COUNTRYSIDE – DAY
The survivors slowly start to wake up one by one but there is no Justin. There is however, a lot of blood. Brittany and Celine are really worried – Shania says he just went for help, that’s typical of Justin – he’s seen us all unconscious and decided to find help. He’ll be back soon with a tow truck and an ambulance. And some breakfast burritos! But Bruno says that is a lot of blood.
Aubrey says Justin’s a fucking animal, he’s gone for help. That’s the only explanation. Initially Brittany is in tears, desperately scared for Justin’s life. But she asks the fuck is going on? Where’s the blood trail? There is no way he went for help – has he been taken? Celine is also scared for Justin and beats up on Bruno, laying the blame squarely on him. “If Justin is dead because of you, I will slice your balls off. And not in a good way.”
Now Justin has gone, she no longer pretends to care about these people. She also blames Brittany – if she hadn’t stolen Justin from her they wouldn’t have come on this trip with you losers, it would have just been the two of us and shit for brains here wouldn’t have been driving and we wouldn’t have crashed and he wouldn’t be…she can’t say the word and breaks down.
Brittany tries to get her shit together, realizing this situation got very real very quickly. Bruno says they must have hit a rock. Brittany checks out the tires, seeing that they were sliced by something sharp – this was no rock, they must have driven over some spikes or something. There is nothing in the road, though, no spikes, no rock either… Brittany says why would someone lay a trap like that?
Aubrey’s cocky self-assuredness is gone, and he laments that the only person who knows what the fuck they’re doing out here in the sticks is gone. Brittany takes charge, but Bruno teases her, we’re not your students, miss.
Aubrey goes for a piss (I have an enlarged prostate, OK, I can’t help it. Man, you’ve got an enlarged sense of your own worth, that’s what you’ve got, says Bruno. Shania begs him not to go, just go behind that bush, he whispers that he needs a number two and says, what’s the worst that can happen?
EXT. CLEARING – DAY
Aubrey walks into a clearing away from the others, to find a suitable dumping place, but almost gets killed in a fiendish trap. He steps on the trap mechanism, which makes a clicking noise that makes Aubrey move to one side, just in time, as a spear flies out of the ground and just grazes his knee. He cries out in shock and pain and the others quickly come to investigate.
They all take close look at the trap – Brittany takes the lead. She says this isn’t a regular hunter’s trap. It is very well made and fiendishly clever – none of them has seen a trap like this before. It looks designed to kill people, not animals. Bruno laughs it off – he’s not ready to believe this.
EXT. CAMP – DAY
They go back to their camp: While Aubrey escaped with just a minor flesh wound, this makes him even more of a whining annoyance. Brittany, Celine and Aubrey think that they are being hunted, except Shania, who still won’t accept it. We’re not in Texas! This isn’t a massacre, it’s just hunting season and we got unlucky, that’s all. We got into an accident because someone was driving too fast, and Aubrey walked into a hunter’s trap. It will all be fine once Justin gets back.
Celine rips into her: Justin lost like a gallon of blood and then just disappeared without leaving a blood trail – do you think he somehow patched himself off before setting off to find help? Yes, I do, Justin’s a real outdoors guy – he’ll have used his first aid kit to cover his wound and… Brittany shows her the first aid kit. It hasn’t been touched. Get real – he’s not coming back!
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Bruno decides to be all macho and go off in search of food. He has a speargun and some spears and sets off looking to hunt for “a deer or something”. Brittany knows this is a bad idea but wants to keep an eye on him and recce the area “It would be good to get a lay of the land”. Celine also goes with them, Shania stays with Aubrey, who has no intention of going anywhere or doing anything. “Did you bring snacks, baby?” “Of course I did, sweetie.”
EXT. WILDERNESS _ DAY
Brittany and Celine are arguing behind Bruno, Celine now convinced that Justin is dead.
Bruno turns around, annoyed with all this bickering and asks them to shut up – how the hell are we supposed to kill a deer with you making all this noise? And anyway, I thought you were over Justin? As Bruno turns his head around to talk to them, he walks backwards. He trips a wire and as he turns around, an axe swings down from the tree above him and splits his head in two.
As he falls backwards to the ground, he fires the speargun into the air. The two women stare at Bruno for a moment, stunned, not believing what they’ve just seen. Suddenly, the spear comes back to earth, landing in Bruno’s chest. They both scream fuuuuuuuck! Now it is undeniable: these traps have been laid to kill them – they are being hunted and the killer is nowhere to be seen.
The two women leave Bruno there and head back to the camp, after picking up his speargun and wrenching the harpoon out of him. They are both horrified, and Celine blames Brittany for everything, she just won’t stop bickering.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
EXT. WILDERNESS TRAIL – DAY
Brittany walks into a wire, which sets off another trap, but she trips and falls just in time. Five arrows all whistle over her, all coming from different directions, missing her by inches. That was close. But there is a scream behind her – Celine has been hit by an arrow – clean through her breast. Brittany finds one of the crossbows that fired one of the arrows – this is a really intricate trap. Someone really wants us dead. They head back to the camp, Celine refusing Brittany’s help – I got shot in my boob, not my leg, I can walk just fine!
EXT. CAMP – DAY
They get back to the camp and tell Shania and Aubrey about what happened. Aubrey is freaked out and is also devastated at losing his other best friend. When Shania tries to convince them these are probably just some animal traps set by hunters, Celine points to her breast arrow and asks if this looks like the work of a hunter. Aubrey explodes sarcastically, and Shania says fuck you and walks away. Brittany convinces Shania that these are no hunters’ traps, there’s a maniac out there, the sooner you accept that, the better the chance we have of surviving. Brittany snaps the arrow and takes it out of Celine’s boob and helps her to patch it up.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
EXT. CAMP – DAY (Cont.)
Brittany gets them all to start looting the car for anything that might protect them, then regroup: – we need to be able to fight this fucker. They regroup and show their weapons. Aubrey has a BB gun, shows it off, Celine asks if that’s a BB gun? Yes, yes it is. God help us. “This could take someone’s eye out.” Celine has a pair of tweezers, (“You’re gonna pluck his eyebrows to death? asks Aubrey. “Shut up BB boy. These are fucking sharp tweezers”). Brittany has the speargun and a large hunting knife she found in Justin’s bag (she offers this to Celine who refuses, saying she is just fine with her tweezers, thank you very much). Shania says, I’ve got Lucy. Lucy? She pulls out a .44 Magnum. WTF?
She tells them of when she was younger, she got attacked by two men who tried to drag her into an alleyway. Thankfully, unbeknown to Shania, her mum was psychopathically over-protective and she used to follow her when she went out at night. Her mom shot them both in the ass, then taught me how to shoot. I’ve been packin’ ever since. They rest up for the night in their makeshift camp. Aubrey: you think you know somebody…
EXT. CAMP – NIGHT
As the four survivors sleep, a figure lurks in the camp: it could easily kill them but doesn’t. We only see its shadow. As it walks away, it snaps a twig. Quick as a flash, Shania sits up and fires a few shots into the dark. There seem to be two cries of pain. “I got the bastard!” and the others wake up really quickly. Aubrey limps back to the camp, “Don’t shoot!” a bullet having grazed his leg. He had gone behind a bush for a pee. But he did see a shadowy figure get shot. He didn’t go down, but he took a bullet.
Brittany says we’ll go after him in the morning. Celine wants to go now, Brittany says off you go, chasing off after a psycho killer who’s been laying traps for us, in the dark. Fair point. Bitch. One of us has to stay awake, I’ll take first turn, holding the speargun. She won’t take the gun, scared she’ll kill someone with it. That’s kinda the point. Aubrey finally tries to be macho, there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep now, I’ll take first watch.
EXT. CAMP – EARLY MORNING
Brittany wakes up and sees that Aubrey is indeed asleep, cradling the gun in his arms. Pissed off, she wakes him and the others up, let’s eat then let’s take the fight to this bastard. They all start eating from the food coolers they brought with them.
EXT. WILDERNESS TRAIL – DAY
Armed as well as they can be, they follow the blood trail left by the killer. Brittany beats a path with a very long stick. The trail dries up, but they see smoke and come to a very dilapidated house.
EXT. DILAPIDATED HOUSE – DAY
Three small, ragged-looking children play in the yard with a gun. One of them waves it around and accidentally shoots it, closely missing one of the other kids, who only has one ear. “If you go shooting my other ear off, Annie,” she cries. “Vickie will kill you!”
The survivors can’t believe that this could be the killer’s home – there are children here! At the sound of the gunshot, a young woman, VICKIE, comes out of the house, angry and afraid, and shouts at the kids, What have I told you about playing with guns on a Sunday? She stops when she sees the strangers. They ask if she has seen someone come by with a wound – they tell her they are being hunted. She shakes her head but says there are a lot of hunters out these parts, but I ain’t seen nobody for weeks.
They ask her for help but she says she ain’t got no phone and don’t want to get involved. If there are hunters out there, she has to think of the kids. Shania asks if they can stay with her – the woman looks scared – no, I don’t know you, I can’t have strangers coming into my house. I’m sorry. Y’all gotta leave. Aubrey: anyone else getting a hills have eyes vibe? No? just me? Fuck. They leave.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Vickie comes inside the ramshackle house and talks to her brother, EARL. He heard the conversation. She thinks Lonnie has been killing people. Trapping them. Last night’s dinner wasn’t no carrion. Earl is furious. He’s killing again. I’ll go find him.
EXT. WILDERNESS TRAIL – DAY
On the way back to the camp, Brittany and Celine set off traps: Shania prevents Celine from being killed, though Celine is maimed (again) and Brittany miraculously survives, although her leg is snapped in two. She doesn’t care, she just straps a piece of wood to it with a couple of belts, but she is horribly wounded.
Aubrey says fuck this, come on, Shania, she says no, we’ve got to help them, he says fuck that, come ON. Shania shouts at him, don’t be such a fucking coward! Wanting to live does not make me a coward. See you back at the camp. She shouts after after him, incensed, he wavers, but then turns and runs, falling into a pit of snakes. Lying there, he is winded and doesn’t realize he is surrounded by very angry serpents.
Shania’s initial reaction is to jump into the pit to help Aubrey, but Celine of all people stops her. Shania struggles to hold her shit together, she is terrified for Aubrey. Aubrey sweetie, are you OK? He stirs a little, still stunned. He is about to sit up but she quickly calls out, don’t move! He replies brusquely “Don’t tell me what to do, I’m fine to move. You’re always telling me what to do…” As he moves to get up, several of the snakes bite him. He screams as other snakes attack and soon he falls silent. Shania struggles in Celine’s arms then breaks down, not quite able to believe what she’s just seen. She holds her belly.
EXT. CAMP – DAY
Back at the camp, Celine roots around in her bag, then takes hold of Shania and pops a pill in her mouth – swallow. Brittany says, come on sweetie, we need you. We have to fight this fucker.
Brittany says she has a plan.
EXT. WILDERNESS TRAIL – EVENING
Lonnie comes along the track where they all got trapped and finds Aubrey still in the pit, his face contorted in a complaining expression. We see Lonnie’s silhouette; he is dressed like a ragged pianist, with top hat and tails but no shoes. He walks in a very menacing fashion, confident and dangerous, carrying a vicious-looking long hook with a rope attached to it, which he aims to use to pull Aubrey out of the pit, and another metal hook hangs from his belt.
As he starts to pull Aubrey’s body out of the pit, he is shot by a bullet and then by a harpoon. Shania comes out of hiding with her gun firing. As Lonnie’s face lifts and we finally see it – a hideous, deformed child-like in-bred face. He manages to get away but is bleeding badly. Shania shoots again and he takes one in the shoulder.
EXT. WOODED AREA – EVENING
He leads them into some covered woods and Brittany almost falls into a trap, but teeters on the edge, trying not to fall in. Celine pushes her in. Shania screams, Celine! And shoots Celine, in the other breast, and Celine runs away, cursing her. Shania helps Brittany out of the trap: she is, unbelievably, still alive, but this time with her arm snapped in two. She shrugs it off.
EXT. WILDERNESS CLEARING – EVENING
Lonnie has caught up with Celine and they are fighting, but with both of them very injured it is hard for each of them to deal a final blow. He is hideous – he looks like an in-bred child in the face, but with a man’s body comically and hideously deformed.
Lonnie is badly shot up, with one arm useless, while Celine is bleeding from both breasts. He draws back his hook to kill her, but Celine stabs him in the eye with her tweezers. He screams, drops the hook and slowly pulls out the tweezers, which pops his eyeball out. He looks at the eye for a second, pulls it off the tweezers and stuffs it back in his eye socket. He turns back to Celine, who has been watching this with morbid curiosity. He then proceeds to stab Celine in the chest with the tweezers.
He stops when Celine appears to be dead and looks up in time to see Brittany and Shania hobbling towards him (Shania helping Brittany to walk). Lonnie goes after them, very slowly, brandishing his hook in one hand and the tweezers in the other.
Brittany can’t do much, but Shania shoots him twice before running out of bullets. Lonnie keeps coming and hits Shania, knocking her to the ground. Brittany is also on the floor now, unable to get up with her snapped leg, but she screams at him, come on you bastard, I’ll bite your legs off. I’ll rip your fucking heart out with my teeth!
Lonnie stands over Brittany, raises his hook and is about to deliver the final blow… She summons up all her strength and kicks him in the balls with her one good leg. She is an amazing example of the sheer willpower to live. Lonnie falls to the floor, she kneels on her good leg, lifts up the hook with her good arm and is about to plunge it into him when a gunshot goes off. It is Lonnie’s brother and sister, with crazy feral kids in tow. Earl has shot into the air and now points the rifle at Brittany. Just leave him now, he won’t bother you no more, we’ll make sure of that. We’re not bad people. Lonnie just likes to bend the rules a little. Vickie helps Lonnie up and takes him away. Earl says come with me, I’ll help you get home. The two women look at each other, unwilling to trust him. “I’m not like my brother, I’m no killer. And if I wanted you dead, you’d be dead.”
EXT. CLEARING – EVENING
Earl leads them to a trail and points to a wheelbarrow. I’ve got some transportation you can borrow. Brittany climbs in and Earl points to the trail. Follow that trail for a couple of miles, you’ll come to a road. Cars come along there once in a while. They set off, silently.
EXT. DIRT ROAD – EVENING
Shania, her head covered in blood, and Brittany, hardly conscious, slowly make their way to the end of the trail, which brings them to a road. They finally manage to flag down a car. As they tell the driver what happened, a beaten-up pickup truck slowly drives in the other direction. They see the three siblings in the front, and the feral kids and a very large freezer on the back.
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MICAH’S HORROR OUTLINE 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to remember there are many passes still to come and so not to get stuck plot holes or imperfections.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
A delivery boy anxiously approaches a barren property with a dilapidated house in the middle. He deposits groceries at the edge of the property and then skedaddles. The Hermit comes down to get his and leaves money behind.
INT. HOME
A Father explains to his young son to keep away from that property, and that the Hermit isn’t bad but a very unlucky man.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The boy plays with his dog. It runs onto the property and the boy pursues.
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE
All the mirrors are broken. The Hermit sits in a chair, cursing a wryneck bird that perches on a chair, watching him. He hears the boy outside and goes to the window.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The Hermit cries out for the boy to leave. Other townsfolk hear and call for the boy, but dare not go after him.
The dog is distracted by a gopher and runs off, leaving the boy. The boy’s leg plunges into a gopher hole and breaks. A pack of wolves surround him.
The Hermit is shot dead by the Father, who stands with a rifle. The wolves run off.
Holding on the dead Hermit’s face, we hear: FELIX: “Some people have all the luck.”
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND – DAY
Felix narrates about the nature of luck. Little Felix runs to catch a ball, slips and breaks his arm.
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND – DAY
Little Felix is in a cast, watching the game sadly from the dugout.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Young Felix is picked on.
EXT. DRIVE-IN – NIGHT
Young Felix sits alone in his car, while two teens are fucking in the car next to him.
INT. PARTY HOUSE
Felix and Young Tina get drunk.
INT. BEDROOM
Felix and Tina make out on the bed.
INT. BATHROOM
Felix and Tina behold a positive pregnancy test.
PHOTO MONTAGE: wedding photos, baby photos, little June growing up, Felix opening passing the bar(?) and opening up a practice as a contract lawyer, things turning for the worse, the housing market crash, Covid, Felix loses his father, he and Tina fight, they split up.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
Felix is shown a CAT scan by his doctor and sees a brain tumor.
End of narration.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix sits alone, eating Chinese food and reading about inoperable tumors on the internet. He makes the comment that he wishes he could give someone else his luck right as he opens one of three fortune cookies. The fortune states: “You can.” Felix opens the next one. It reads: “Answer the door.”
There’s a faint tapping at the door.
EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
A wryneck bird surprises Felix.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix gets the last cookie, opens it: “Make the deal.”
EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
Felix agrees to whatever deal the bird is offering. It attacks and scratches him, then disappears. The scratch is gone.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix checks his face in the window and finds no scratch. He looks at the fortunes; they’re all normal. Felix glances the symptoms of brain tumors on his computer and sees “hallucinations.” He weeps.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina arrives to have Felix sign the divorce papers. She notes that it’s cold when she stands near Felix.
Tina senses something wrong, that he’s wearing glasses now, that he seems groggy, but he tells her it’s nothing, he just has a headache. Felix is disappointed that June won’t come in to see him.
INT. CAR – DAY
June waits in the car, texting with her boyfriend.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina expresses concerns about her older boyfriend. She stubs her toe.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix goes to get the mail and talks to his neighbor. As they chat, mailman going by is drenched when the sprinklers come on. Then a passing car knocks the side mirror off the neighbor’s parked car.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
The doctor notes that it’s cold in his office. Felix tells him he’s been feeling a little better, and the doctor expresses that his treatment has been going much better than expected.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix is talking with his neighbor again, who notes that it’s cold near Felix, though his wife across the fence doesn’t feel it.
The neighbor’s brother-in-law begins to back out of the driveway, unaware that his five-year-old nephew is in his path. Felix sees this at the last second. The boy’s mother throws herself against the back of the car, being knocked down as her brother hits the breaks. Crisis averted.
INT. JUNE’S BEDROOM
June and Ivar make out, though he slows things down. June expresses her upsetmet over her parents’ divorce. She makes Ivar promise never to leave her. She has the idea to sneak out and go to a hotel
Connect with the characters II: the various characters arrive at the hotel for their own reasons.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Establish dilapidated hotel in the shitty part of town. A pregnant woman, CANDYCE, gets a case out of her car and enters.
INT. LOBBY
Lily checks in Mr. Lamb, who insists on tipping her even though she says it’s against policy. He goes up to his room.
Nico and Candyce check in. Nico is grumpy, Candyce lighthearted. Candyce makes a joke to Lily, who is confused by Candyce’s pregnancy.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Alfred sits on the bed, looking sadly at a picture of his wife. There’s a gun in his suitcase.
INT. LOBBY
Nico, who doesn’t like elevators, asks where the stairs are.
INT. STAIRWELL
The stairs creak a lot as Nico ascends.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM
Felix is marveling that he no longer needs to wear his glasses (or some other sign of recovery) when Tina calls. She doesn’t know where June is, and doesn’t have the tracker app on her phone. Felix checks and sees she’s gone to a hotel. He tells Tina he’ll take care of it.
INT. CANDYCE AND NICO’S ROOM
Candyce candles and tries to get Nico in a romantic mood.
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – DAY
It’s cloudy overhead, and there’s a low rumble of thunder. Felix is waiting at a traffic light when a big rig turns on its side and crashes in the intersection, block the street to the hotel. No one is hurt.
Felix gets out of his car and jogs down the street to the hotel.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
The wryneck watches as he enters.
INT. LOBBY
Lily’s pen leaks onto her hand as Felix approaches her. She also notices a chill. Felix shows her a picture of June and asks if she’s in the hotel. When Lily says she can’t divulge information about guests, Felix tells her that if she doesn’t comply she’ll be party to statutory rape. A flustered Lily acquiesces.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is on the phone with her mother when Felix comes off the elevator and suddenly her connection dies. She freaks when she sees a cockroach.
Felix hears the sounds of sex coming from a room and knocks on the door.
INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl and Autumn having sex in their room. Their condom breaks and Autumn rushes to the bathroom.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily tells Felix it’s the wrong room, and leads him to the correct one. Ivar answers the door in his boxers, surprised to see Felix, who pushes past him.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix finds June wrapped in a sheet and tells her to get dressed. Both she and Ivar try to explain, but Felix is having none of it. Ivar knocks over a lamp and sets it back up without the shade.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The argument spills out into the hallway as Felix drags June away.
Alfred enters the hallway and tries to calm everyone, advising Ivar to back down.
INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl snorts cocaine. Autumn re-enters and asks what all the noise is outside.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn, Pearl, Candyce, Nico, and Mallory all come to check on the scene.
Alfred’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack. Mallory realizes what’s happening, tells someone to call an ambulance while she gets something from her room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory gets a thing from her room, not realizing that the bottle of naxolone drops to the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix gets off the phone, but remembers the accident at the intersection and realizes an ambulance won’t be able to get through. They decide to carry him downstairs so they can get him to Felix’s car.
The elevator busts. They have to take the stairs.
INT. STAIRWELL
As they head down the stairs, the stairwell collapses, Mallory nearly falls, but Felix and Ivar help her up while Lily supports Alfred. They are forced to head back upstairs.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Alfred panics, says he’s not ready to die after all, fears there’s nothing on the other side. He dies.
Ivar comforts a frightened June, to her father’s chagrin. Mallory is hit hard. When asked if she’s a doctor, she relates that she’s a former paramedic who quit because she got tired of seeing people die.
Nico yells at Lily for the hotel’s unsafe state.
Pearl becomes panicky. Nico yells at him to be quiet. Autumn and Candyce calm their respective partners. The characters note a drop in temperature around Felix.
Nico calls the police, explaining the situation and emphasizing there’s a pregnant woman in the building.
They’re going to have to wait. Mallory asks that they move Alfred out of the hallway.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
They lay him on the bed. Nico notices the gun on the bed.
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – NIGHT
Police are trying to move the big rig, but it’s going to take time.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn talks about putting out positive vibes, to Nico’s annoyance.
Felix glances in a hallway mirror and sees his reflection start to become the Jinx. He has a sense of what’s happening, but says nothing.
June becomes friendly with Candyce, and asks her about the baby. Candyce makes a joke about being impregnated by a Swedish bodybuilder.
People note the cold. Ivar goes to get a blanket for June.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix follows Ivar and talks to them about his relationship with June. Ivar trips and falls on the lamp, breaking the bulb which punctures his throat. Felix calls for help.
INT. HALLWAY
Mallory and June rush to the room.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Mallory tries to cover Ivar’s wound, but he dies. It upsets her deeply.
June and Mallory are suspicious of Felix. He tries to comfort June, but she keeps her distance.
INT. HALLWAY
The three return, only reporting that Ivar had an accident, though Mallory keeps her eye on Felix.
Pearl babbles about conspiracy theories, suggesting they’re in some kind of controlled experiment; the elevator, the stairwell, the crash, Alfred, and Ivar can’t all be coincidences. Autumn suggests a supernatural cause, which Nico balks at.
Pearl is for getting out of dodge, and Nico agrees. They open the elevator doors and find the car stuck between this and the next floor down. Lily advises against this, citing regulations and insisting the police will be here soon. Candyce is worried but Nico assures her.
They climb onto the car and open the ceiling hatch.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
They drop down and try to pry open the doors. There’s not enough room to get to the next floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix stands near the open elevator doors.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The cable suddenly snaps. The elevator drops several feet and the breaks take hold.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
Now they’re stuck between the next two floors down.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Everyone is trying to see down into the shaft, including Felix.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The brakes creak.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
Pearl and Nico scramble to get out.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Autumn and Mallory kneel down to help pull them out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix looks over his shoulder the wryneck on a stand, flopping its head.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl coughs and becomes dizzy. He tries to help Nico up, but can’t.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others turn to Felix for help, but he backs away.
June and Autumn hold onto Mallory as she leans into the shaft.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The brakes creak and the car drops an inch. Nico runs, jumps, and is caught by Mallory, who pulls her up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Nico climbs to safety.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl sorta comes out of his daze and tries to jump, but misses.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix backs further away.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl jumps and is caught by Mallory just as the brakes fail and the car plummets. Pearl is hauled up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory demands to know why Felix chickened out on them, and becomes horrified when she sees the head of his shadow flopping like the wryneck.
Confrontation. Felix tries to explain himself. Peal freaks out. Nico threatens Felix. June defends her father.
Autumn notices the cold. She moves to the far end of the hall and feels the difference in temperature. She suggests the cold indicates the range of the Jinx’s influence.
Felix agrees to quarantine in a room, but insists that June stay on the phone with him.
NOTE: Throughout, the symptoms of Felix’s tumor (fatigue, difficulty speaking, headaches, nausea, imbalance) subside and he becomes stronger, quicker, and more focused.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix waits alone, not knowing what to do. The wryneck appears, chirping in a way that sounds like laughing. Felix attacks the bird, chases it, eventually capturing it and killing it. It reappears elsewhere, still laughing at him.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Nico looks out the window.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It thunders overhead and rain falls.
Down below, guests and staff have fled the building, police and medics tending to them. Up the street, they’re still trying to drag away the big rig. Nico urges them to hurry up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl paces nervously, unaware that his shoes have come untied and he passes the elevator again and again. He’s showing early signs of overdose. Mallory questions him, but he just says he’s coming down from his high.
Candyce calms herself singing to her baby, and encourages June to join in. Pearl tells them to be quiet. Nico jumps to Candyce’s defense. There’s an argument. Autumn cuts in and tells Pearl to tie his shoes.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix’s phone is nearing death. He finds a charge and plugs it into a power strip, the wryneck watching. There’s a spark and the power goes out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The lights go out.
They set up cell phones along the hallway to act as lights.
Cockroaches swarm over Mallory, who becomes hysterical, nearly backing into the open elevator shaft. Autumn calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches.
Pearl’s overdose kicks into full swing. Recognizing the symptoms, Mallory runs to get the naxolone from her room. But Felix’s room is in between.
INT. TBD ROOM
Hearing the situation over the phone, Felix says he’s get the naxolone.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory guides Felix over the phone.
Felix exits his room and enters Mallory’s.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Felix unknowing kicks the naxolone with his foot, sending it further under the bed. He can’t find it. His phone dies.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is dying. Mallory throws caution to the wind and runs for her room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
They scour the scour.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is losing consciousness.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory finds the bottle and bolts out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix follows her. Mallory trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator. Seeing this, Felix retreats back toward his room.
Autumn grabs it just before it goes over the lip and rushes it to Pearl. Too late. He’s dead.
[ESTABLISH SOMEHOW THAT THIS CAUSES THE JINX’S POWER TO SPREAD]
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
A melting candle ignites the bed sheet in the room and a fire breaks out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Everyone is comforting Autumn.
Lily smells the smoke, goes to check. It’s cold near the room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Shit! Fire!
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily runs to the fire cabinet. She grabs the extinguisher and Nico grabs the hose.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Lily tries to put out the fire, but it’s too much. Nico’s hose won’t work.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Nico runs to another room. Mallory follows.
INT. ANOTHER ROOM
Nico grabs the bed sheet and rushes to the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM
Nico turns on the bathtub and soaks the sheet.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Nico slaps at the flames while Lily sprays with the fire extinguisher. Felix enters to help, but Nico tells him to get the fuck out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix retreats back into his room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
June comes in and tosses water from an ice bucket on the flames.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June and Candyce exchange buckets. Candyce passes the empty one to Mallory.
INT. BATHROOM
Mallory fills an ice bucket with water.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The buckets are exchanged again.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The fire is put out. Nico chokes on the fumes and collapses. Lily goes to help her up.
The leg of a burnt dress snaps. The dresser falls. Lily pushes Nico out of the way before being crushed by the dresser.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Candyce and Mallory immediately feel the cold.
[CONTINUE TO ESTABLISH THE BROADENING OF THE FIELD]
They hear June screaming and run to see
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Mallory rushes to Lily but quickly sees it’s a lost cause.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is furious and begins kicking the walls.
Autumn becomes hysterical. Candyce tries to comfort her, but Autumn becomes belligerent. Nico steps between them, and the two begin shoving each other. Autumn falls backward into the open elevator shaft. Nico screams “Nooo!”
Silence. Everyone is in shock. Then Candyce goes into labor.
Nico gets up and goes to Alfred’s room.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Nico retrieves Alfred’s gun.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others see Nico approaching.
June stops her. There’s a struggle. The gun goes off, shooting Nico in the leg. She falls, another shot going off. It ricochets and nicks the artery in June’s neck.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix hears the gunshots and Mallory screaming Nico’s name, and runs out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix rounds the corner to see Mallory tending to Nico. Mallory gets the bleeding under control and tells Felix (who’s keeping his distance) she’ll be fine.
Felix tells her to throw him the gun. Nico tries to stop her, but Mallory complies.
Just as Felix picks up the gun, an earthquake strikes.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Everyone wobbles. Windows shatter. Cracks form on the sides of the building. All along the street, buildings wobble.
INT. LOBBY
The floor splits. Part of the ceiling collapses.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
A piece of the ceiling caves in, blocking Felix from returning to his room. He tells the others to get away from him and keep June safe.
As they are running away, the floor collapses beneath Mallory.
INT. NEXT FLOOR DOWN
Mallory hits the floor below and breaks through it.
INT. TWO FLOORS DOWN
Mallory splats against the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix shares a final glance with June, then retreats into the furthest room he can. Candyce and Nico drag June away.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
The three enter the room, June not wanting to let her father go. Candyce says it’s not cold in the room.
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix prepares to shoot himself and sees his reflection in the mirror. It has its back to him. Suddenly, the head flips backward and gawks at Felix upside down. The reflection turns to face him, the head transformed into the birdlike Jinx.
Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
No more! Felix brings the gun to his head and fires. The gun jams. He smashes the window open, puts his foot on the sill. He slips on the rain water and falls on his back, spraining it, unable to move. The Jinx taunts him the whole while.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
Candyce is having labor pains.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The fire truck is finally able to reach the hotel. The ladder is extended to the open window and a firefighter climbs up.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter enters the window and calls out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The firefighter notes the cold, calls out again.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
They hear him.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They call back. He tells them to come to him. They dread doing so but have no other choice.
They meet him at hole in the floor. June has an idea and goes back to the room.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM BATHROOM
June grabs the shower curtain rod.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June extends the rod across the opening. The firefighter holds it, and pulls as June leaps across the gulf.
Candyce next. She grabs hold of the rod. The floor gives out beneath her and she falls. June and firefighter are nearly dragged down.
Nico leaps over the opening and helps them all up.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter gets on the ladder first.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It’s raining hard. The firefighter turns to face Candyce, slips, nearly falls.
Candyce is terrified, but Nico kisses her and hands her off to the second firefighter. Everyone moves slowly. June and Nico hold the ladder.
The rubble beneath the fire truck shifts. The ladder shakes. The firefighter falls to his death. Candyce loses her grip and dangles over the ground below. Nico climbs out onto the ladder and saves Candyce.
Another firefighter comes to retrieve Candyce. Lightning strikes a transformer. The pole slams against the hotel and the power cable comes a-swinging. Nico dodges it. It comes swinging back. Nico slides down the ladder and leaps off just as the cable electrifies the ladder. Nico’s leg is broken, but she’s otherwise okay.
Using their hose, the firefighters blasts the pole far back enough that the cable falls away from the ladder.
It’s June’s turn. But instead of to go down the later, she instead goes to rescue her father.
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix has barely gotten to his feet when June enters. He tells her to get away, but she holds him up. The Jinx won’t allow him to die, she reasons, so as long as they’re together, she’s safe.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June supports Felix as they stumble through the hall. The floor creaks. Debris threatens to fall. But they make it to the room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
They reach the ladder.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The pole slips and falls onto the fire truck, electrifying it. The truck explodes and the ladder falls.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Now what?
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They take the useless fire hose and drop it down the opening in the floor. Candyce holds onto her father’s back as he climbs down.
INT. TWO FLOORS DOWN
They reach the floor and hobble toward the staircase. The ceiling collapses and Felix pulls his daughter away just before she’s crushed.
INT. STAIRWELL
The landing below them is still intact. They jump together. June is nearly impaled on the broken railing, but Felix twists in midair. They land roughly and roll down the steps. They stop with an inch between a rebar and June’s face.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The whole thing collapses.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Debris falls from all sides. Everyone backs up.
INT. STAIRWELL
The two get up, climb over the debris. It’s blocking the door. They remove it together. Pull the door open just wide enough for one. Who goes first? They hold hands. Felix will go first and pull June after him. They start.
INT. LOBBY
A pillar collapses, exposing a water main. Water shoves the door closed on June’s arm.
INT. STAIRWELL
Rubble falls all around June.
INT. LOBBY
Felix screams for help.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Firefighters come running.
INT. LOBBY
One slips on the wet tiles. The other gets to Felix.
INT. STAIRWELL
The roof of the stairwell caves in.
INT. LOBBY
The firefighter and Felix get the door open and free June just in the nick of time. They flee to the exit, the building collapsing all around them. They leap out the door.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The hotel comes down. Everyone seems safe. Felix and June hug. Stand. Holding hands, a foot apart.
A police car approaches.
INT. POLICE CAR – MOVING
The wryneck zips past the windshield and startles the driver.
EXT. HOTEL
The police car skids, hits the fallen power pole, flips.
Slow mo: it heads straight for June. Felix spins her out of the way, taking her spot. The car hits him, sending him flying into a standing piece of wall.
June comes to her dying father’s side. They have a final moment before he goes.
The wryneck flies off.
-
Ed’s Readable Horror Outline Draft 1.
What I learned doing this assignment was I didn’t capture all the details that I’d should have. I fall into writing exposition, rather than capturing scene essence. Not a big problem, I will improve it, however, it would take less time, if done properly. The process is great to move those details in to the rough outline, takes practice, but good for workflow management.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
INT. CHARLOTTE AIRPORT – DAY
Teen, AVA, her parents, MIKE and LINDA, race for the gate, Ava lags behind, too cool to run. Frustration boils over, Ava curses her parents for being so nerdy. This is the RODAK Family.
INT. AIR PLANE – DAY.
The scene from the airport has not subsided. Ava, declares she wished Christmas never came and this ski vacation is stupid. The plane takes a deep dive, air masks drop from the ceiling. It looks like the plane I going down. Ava yells , good I hope we all die. The plane comes under control just in time.
INT. SKI RESORT – LOBBY – NIGHT
Eccentric strangers arrive. A man, long hair, scraggy beard, all in black, long coat and top hat. He is KRAMPUS, in disguise. His evil partner, SAINT NICHOLAS, red fur coat, white fur collar, gold walking stick, alpine style hat.
The ski resort manager hassles them over no reservation. It’s Christmas weekend and they are booked. Krampus, removes his shades, his eyes glow yellow. A dagger springs from Nicholas’s walking stick. With a flick, Nicholas, stabs the manager through the heart. They reach behind the counter and take the room keys for the suite and strut away.
EXT. BURLINGTON AIRPORT – SHUTTLE BUS – DAY
A ski resort shuttle bus waits at the curb. The DRIVER chats with the GUIDE about a big store. Already on board gay couple, JAMES & MICHAEL argue. Then enters, REVEREND GENE, teacher/expert in pagans. The bus is just about to depart when, Ave, Linda, and Mike, pound on the door. They get on.
Before they pull away. A SHERIFF enters the van with a warning. A Nor Easter will shut down the ski lodge. There’s no way to leave for a few days. Other guests have cancelled. No one decides to get off of the bus.
EXT. ROAD – SHUTTLE BUS – DAY
All the riders, except Ava, engage in exciting chat about the weekend. The storms has started. Visibility getting bad. The guide leans out the bus door. Just off the road, deep ravines. A car from opposite direction, cuts them off. The bus swerves. The guide falls off the bus, over the ravine. Guests agree to go on. Vacation time and weather getting worse. The driver will take care of it on the way back. They all feel guilty, except Ava.
INT. SKI LODGE – NIGHT
The guest from the bus all pile in as paramedics wheel out the dead manager. Nicholas is behind the lobby counter. He hands out room keys and invitations addressed to guests.
INT. GUEST ROOM – JAMES & MICHAEL – NIGHT
Unpacking – read the invitation – to a, “To Die For” arrival party in the bar tonight. Odd Christmas message. But it is open bar.
INT. GUEST ROOM – RODAKS – NIGHT
More arguing, Ava’s not going to the party. Fine. Also there’s no cell service. At least there’s Netflix.
INT. GUEST ROOM – REVEREND GENE – NIGHT
Gene examines the invitation with great interest. Smells the paper. He compares the handwriting to some reference in a text. He looks concerned.
INT. SKI LODGE – BAR – NIGHT
The guest have assembled, Michael, James, Gene, Mike, Linda & TINA, the bar tender, complains to anyone who will listen on multiple topics . Krampus and Nicholas hold court. At this time they appear as eccentric, charming gentleman, serving as hosts.
Spending cocktail talk the with each guest, Krampus & Nicholas, mysteriously reveal they know a lot about the guests, for strangers. Michael flirts with Krampus, as that is his nature.
SUSIE the ski lodge pro, former olympian winner, put out, joins the party. She has an invitation too. She asks who is Ava, her ski pupil for tomorrow?
Krampus notes Ava, is missing. She needs to be present. Mike, protests, but something sinister in Krampus’s request says he better go get her. Meet them in the lobby.
INT. SKI LODGE – LOBBY – NIGHT
A big Christmas tree, under it gift wrapped presents, next to the huge stone fireplace. All the guests, plus, Susie & Tina, gather. Mike drags a sulking Ava to the party. She joins her mom.
Krampus calls for attention. Nicholas steps forward – He proclaims he is thee Saint Nicholas
There are presents under the tree with all their names. Krampus and Nicholas argue over the fact there is a Micheal and a Mike, here, however both presents are for “Mike” this is a comic moment before the scary truth.
Krampus sets forth the rules, each present contains an item – its purpose is to be used to kill another guest. Participation is mandatory. The guest laugh at the obvious joke, or is it?
Krampus removes his top hat revealing his horned head. He removes his shades revealing his yellow eyes. He smiles with pointed fangs. He is a monster. Reverend Gene makes the sign of the cross.
Nicholas reveals that he knows each of them holds a terrible secret. A secret that needs retribution for. James blurts out about the shuttle bus. Nicholas appreciates the confession but that’s not it.
Krampus assures them, they will shout out their secret to save their souls. It might work, it might not.
Tina says this is bullshit, she’s just a bar tender. She makes for the door. Nicholas walking stick, transforms into a bishops staff, with a hook on the end. It telescopes after Tina and rings her around her neck. It tightens, she turns blue as she dragged back into the room.
The Michael and Mike argue over who’s is there’s. Krampus and Nicholas argue about this name screw up. The participants exchange the presents -white elephant style. Now each has a present with another participant’s name on it.
Krampus calls out Micheal, who he points out, was nice enough to hit on him over drinks made by Tina. What name is on Michaels present? – It reads , Tina. What a coincidence, open it. Michael opens it revealing an electric hedge trimmer. Tina shall be killed by Michael using the hedge trimmer at the stroke of 8 Bells.
Tina shrieks, James, protests, the others watch in shock.
INT. GUEST ROOM – JAMES & MICHAEL – NIGHT
James is a wreck, Micheal is more curious than upset , what will it be like to kill another person? He’s intrigues as James is more frighted by this. Is this Michael’s secret?
INT. GUEST ROOM – THE RODAKS – NIGHT
Mike checks the windows. The blizzard ranges on. Linda believes reasoning with these strangers will get them out of this. Ava trying to convince them this some prank for social media. Just wait and see. It sounds reasonable, give the situation. But still, are they with psychopaths?
INT. GENE’S ROOM – NIGHT
Reverend Gene, anxious, is flipping through pages of his text books. Pictures of Krampus and Saint Nicholas escapades, flip over the pages.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
TIna drinks her troubles away. She reaches under the bar, finds a revolver and tucks it away. The lobby clock strikes 8 bells.
INT. LOBBY – NIGHT
The participants have assembled. Krampus and Nicholas sit by the fireplace, having a drink, comfortable as can be. Michael pulls the trigger on the trimmer, its blades zig zag, in sharp harmony.
They all turn to the bar where Tina, emerges, drunk. Looking defeated. Linda pleads for this to end now. Mike tries to intervene but with a swipe his hand, Krampus sends him sailing against the wall.
Tina pulls the gun, rather than pointing it at Michael she empties the gun, firing at Nicholas and Krampus. No effect. Laugh it off. Krampus call on Michael to deliver his “Gift” Tina stumbles, she falls. Tina cries out she’s been stealing from the bar for years. So what, she works for tips.
Michael cuts her throat with the hedge trimmer. Blood spatters him and the participants bringing home the reality. James shrieks is total disbelief his BF is a killer.
Mike runs for the front door. He opens it only to have a valance of snow come pouring in. There’s no leaving any time soon. Nicholas does his hook the neck thing, Mike’s tossed back into the lobby. The lights flicker and go off.
Reverend Gene and Michael carry Tina’s body off to the meat locker in the kitchen.
INT. MEAT LOCKER – NIGHT
Reverend Gene tells Michael there is a chance of defeating them but it’s risky. Michael recommends overpowering them. Gene dismissed that idea. They can’t be taken, at least not alive.
INT. LOBBY – NIGHT
Michael and Gene return. Krampus flings Gene at the fireplace. He’s held near the flame long enough to suffer for his betrayal.
Krampus announces we shall gift exchange again at 9 Bells.
The guest shun Michael – who protest their time will come soon enough. Don’t judge, that’s what Krampus wants us to do. Krampus , invites Michael to join him for a drink, since he killed the bar tender he’ll have to mix drinks.
INT. GUEST ROOM – THE RODAKS – NIGHT
Linda comforts Ava, reality sets in. There’s a knock, Reverend Gene at the door. Gene learns of the air plane incident. Ava freaks out that she is to blame for Krampus & Nicholas being here.
Gene discusses a plan with Mike for killing Saint Nicholas, he’s not as strong as Krampus, Nicholas is only the messenger essentially. Susie enters with a hunting cross bow – will this work?
Gene performs a weird blessing of the crow bow’s bolt. Cursing it. Mike volunteers to do the deed. Linda and Ava protest.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
INT. LOBBY – NIGHT
Susie sits nervously. She’s alone. Michael , Krampus, Nichols arrive. No one else is here. The clock strikes nine. It appress we have mutiny. Krampus tortures Susie, her screams bring down the others from their rooms, except Mike. He’s hiding out on the walkway above the lobby.
Krampus calls out for Mike to come out. He’s about to torture Ava. Mike appears with the cross bow – that’s not your gift Mike! NO – but it’s yours. Mike shoots the cross bow the bolt strikes Nicholas right in the heart. Krampus is enraged. Krampus stumbles as if some of his power just left his body.
Nicholas dismembers and is sucked up the fireplace in pieces. He vanishes from the premises in a huge burst of flame. The bloody bolt falls to the floor.
Krampus in a fit of anger flings Mike from the second story walkway through the air onto the antler chandelier. He’s empaled up there for everyone to see. Dead. Linda attacks Krampus, she shoved aside. No gift exchanged.
Susie always the competitor , asks if that counts as the 9 PM kill. Are they safe until 10?
Participates are safe, however, given the treachery. Each participate shall use their gift to kill the other participate of defend themselves. It’s all out combat at 10 Bells. Prepare!
The participants scatter off to find handing places or allies or surprise attack locations.
INT. SKI PRO OFFICE – NIGHT
Ava, Linda and Susie are in the office. Susie reveals there’s a way to get to the ski lift shed and down the mountain – but the person has to be small – like Ava. She protests but Linda convinces Ava she must risk it.
INT. BASEMENT – UTILITY ROOM – NIGHT
Ava, Susie and Linda are next to a small tunnel. The ski lift cables run into it from a large fly wheel device. Ava can climb through the access tunnel to the lift. From there she can release the cars. She have to jump at the end. Once the 10 PM exchange run to here and escape.
INT. JAMES & MICHEAL’S ROOM – NIGHT
Gene, Michael and James, sit awkwardly silent. James – I bet you like to kill on of us. Gene my interest is pagans. Michael – ever been to a rave? There’s a way. The bolt that killed Nicholas is in the lobby. It has his blood on it. If Krampus can be stabbed with it, it can kill him. Blood of the blood curse. Michael and James won’t do it so Reverend Gene has to, assuming his not dead yet. Then someone else can try.
INT. LOBBY – NIGHT
The clock loudly strikes 10 PM, not one is around except Krampus and Reverend Gene. Gene not good and hiding his plan glancing at the cross bolt bolt on the floor.
Krampus sits by the fire. He appears to me meditating. Tongues of fire from the fire place snake around the complex seeking those hiding.
INT. BAR STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT
Michael and James are cashed out by the fire.
INT. RODAKS GUEST ROOM – NIGHT
Ava and Linda are chased out by the flames.
INT. SKI LODGE – UTILTY ROOM – NIGHT
Susie is chased out from her hiding location.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
INT. LOBBY – NIGHT
Before long they are all back in the lobby. The tension is high. Krampus invites them to open their presents. Linda pleads this cruel exchange end immediately. Ava wants him to just go away. Reverend Gene warns Kramus he’ll not get away with this. James is in the verge of hysteria.
James has Ava as a gift exchange partner. They will go first. Ava gift contains a fancy silk scarf, not much for protection but can be used for strangulation. James gift contains a hand bag. Krampus laughs hard to the point of running out of air. The clue the bag can be used for suffocation.
James screams and attacks Ave. Linda steps in stopping him. Ava and Susie take off for the basement utility room. Krampus sees somethings up. Yells for James to go after them.
INT. BASEMENT UTLITY ROOM – NIGHT
Ava and Susie storm down the stairs. Susie flips open the door. Ava climbs in. James screams for her to stop. Krampus will kill him if you don’t. He has a hold of her angle, she kicks free and climbs onward. Susie clocks James across the back with a large wrench. Ava disappears into the dark shaft.
INT. SKI LODGE – LOBBY – NIGHT
Reverend Gene watches as Krampus retrieves the cross bow Mike used. Obviously he’ll go for the bolt next. Gene times his move. He lunges for the bolt, just as Krampus goes for it. Krampus stops his foot down on Genes’s hand, smashing it. Krampus stabbed Gene in the eye with the bolt – noting Nicholas blood is now tainted.
Krampus goes to the second story landing that over looks the ski shed.
INT. SKI LODGE – SECOND STORY LANDING – NIGHT
Krampus pushes open the double doors. Through the blizzard Ava is seen fussing about in the ski lift shed. Krampus waits for an open moment.
EXT. SKI LIFT SHED – NIGHT
Ava throws some levers releasing the brakes on the lift. The chairs start to move down the mountain. She hops into one. She clears the shed , out into the open.
INT. SKI LODGE – SECOND STORY LANDING – NIGHT
Krampus steadies the cross bow. Ava in his sights just twenty yards away. His about to pull the trigger when CRACK – Linda slugs him over the head with the wrench from the utility room. Ava watches in horror from the ski lift. She screams as Krampus snatches the wrench out of Linda’s hands and proceeds to beat her to death on the landing.
Ava may have got away but she’ll never get that image out of her head.
INT. SKI LODGE LOBBY – NIGHT
Krampus returns to the lobby, bloodied. He seethes at Susie, she jabs at him with a ski pole. Krampus forces her down the stairs to the utility room.
INT. SKI LODGE – BASEMENT – UTILITY ROOM – NIGHT
The giant fly wheel controlling the ski lift turns slowly. The cables snap tight. Krampus pushes Susie down the stairs. Michael and James follow. She lays stunned next to the spinning wheel. Kramnpus asks which one of you wants to do it? Krampus declares He who does its get the next kill!
Together Micheal and James lift Susie up by legs and arms . Krampus curses the loop hole he created. They toss her into the wheel. The force of the steel and tension break Susie’s body in two. The wheel grinds to a stop.
EXT. SKI LIFT – NIGHT
Ava rides the ski lift down mid-mountain. Then it jerks to a stop leaving her thirty feet in the air.
INT. UTILITY ROOM – NIGHT
Krampus points out, James and Michael are the last two. One must kill the other for the game to end. Krampus doesn’t have a preference. They refuse. James, historical runs outside, up to his waste in snow. The blizzard rages on. Michael calls after him. Krampus – He won’t get far.
INT/EXT. SKI LODGE GARAGE – NIGHT
The door raises and the snow groomer machine plows out into the snow. Michaels driving it.
EXT. SKI SLOPE – NIGHT
James barely makes it down the slope. He’s screaming for Ava. He can’t see through the storm. Up the slope the glaring lights of the snow groomer marks it approach.
INT. SNOW GROOMER – NIGHT
Krampus spots James ahead- he points the direction out for Michael.
EXT. SKI LIFT – NIGHT
Ava hears her name being yelled but from where? She can’t see anyone. She screams out – JAMES? She takes out her phone and turns on the flash light.
EXT. SKI SLOPE – NIGHT
James sees Ava’s light. He tries to make his ways to that direction.
EXT. SKI LIFT – NIGHT
James yells at Ava they are coming for her. She needs to get down and run. She’s afraid too high. James climbs up reaches for Ava and helps her over the the lift tower. They climb down together.
James says he’ll hold them off. Ave need to run for the road for safety. She proclaim he’s the bravest man she knows. With that Ava is off.
INT. SNOW GROOMER – NIGHT
James appears in the groomer’s wash of lights. He starts running as best he can down the slope. The groomer is gaining fast. We see stays inline with the lift towers. Krampus tells Michael to run him over.
Michael guns the groomer. It speeds up. The distance to James getting closer and closer. Michael wipes away a tear. Krampus smiles. He loves it.
EXT. SKI SLOPE – NIGHT
James is exhausted. He can barely move in the heavy snow. The groomer is nearly upon him. He makes a last dash for the next ski lift tower. Before he reaches it the groomer runs him over. The snow turns red.
INT. SNOW GROOMER – NIGHT
Distraught – Michael loses track of where the groomer is. It smashes into the ski lift tower. The occupants rocked against the windshield and dash. Nothing but the sound of the blizzard raging outside.
INT. PARIS – HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
A fancy hotel suite, Krampus stands by the window, admiring the view of the Eiffel Tower. Michael emerges from the bathroom wearing a towel. His hair wet. Krampus says he has something from Micahael, who seems unsure of the implication.
Michael opens the gift. It’s a miniature version of a guillotine. Big enough to take off a thumb, or worse. Krampus tugs at Micahael’s towel. It falls off.
EXT. PARIS HOTEL – NIGHT
From inside Krampus’s room we hear Michael scream out in agony. The scream goes on and on as we pull away from the building across the Paris sky.
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Tom’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is it’s not as hard as I thought to write Horror stories.
TO SERVE HUMANS — Readable Outline
INT. HOMELESS TENT IN A HOMELESS CAMP – DAY/NIGHT
Homeless man raises the new born Andrew. The man dies.
INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY
The orphans who compete to be adopted hate Andrew because he’s cute and more adoptable.
Not adjusting well, Andrew has panic attacks. Three mean boys bully him. He’s miserable. Betsy and Clare laugh when Andrew flubs his first writing lesson. That night Clare flashes her bare chest at him. Andrew is embarrassed. Elizabeth thrusts his hand into her pants. He turns red and runs away.
EXT. TWO LANE HIGHWAY – NIGHT
A man wearing a cape claims Andrew from the orphanage. Says he’s his son, takes him out in the country, and gives him a high voltage shock. Andrew flaps his arms and flies around the man’s head, has strange hallucinations. The man drops his cape. His skin is scaly like the creature from the Black Lagoon. He attacks Andrew who accidently kills him and returns to the orphanage.
INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT
The three boys gag Andrew and throw him down a staircase. He takes flight and kicks their butts.
EXT. COLD, WINDY, RAINY CITY STREET – NIGHT
M’Lord shows homeless cannibals the orphanage. Millicent wants to adopt.
EXT. ABANDONED BUILDING – DAY
Millicent adopts Andrew, takes him inside, ties him up and cooks him to eat. He crashes through a window to escape. She follows but cuts herself and bleeds out. He bakes her in the oven and makes the best meal he’s ever had. When cops surround the building, he goes to the roof and flies away.
Detective Mabel finds his fingerprints and identifies Millicent’s burned hulk as Andrew’s body.
INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY
In disguise, Andrew adopts Betsy from the orphanage and barbecues her in an abandoned house across the state line in Arizona. A SWAT team enters. Andrew disappears from inside a bathroom.
Rooky cop Ethel finds a fishy scale in the toilet. She later becomes a crime scene forensics specialist. Outside the tiny Andrew exits a sewer. As he runs away, he grows back to full size.
INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT
Andrew coaxes Clare to sneak out with him. He takes her to a random house. Later a housewife returns from shopping and finds Andrew giving Clare a bath in her kitchen sink. Still later, the husband returns from work. In the sink he finds human bones. He runs screaming from the house. Cops arrive. A tiny Andrew climbs from a storm drain outside and returns to adult size.
Midpoint: Homicide detective Mabel and forensics specialist Ethel meet at a homicide cop conference, compare crime scenes notes and finds the evidence points to a single killer—Andrew.
During recess, Andrew takes one of the mean boys, David to a deserted mansion and gives him a bath. He bakes a cake, cuts a slice and serves it to him. After a few bites, David convulses, has a seizure. Andrew cuts him up and roasts him.
INT. EMPTY HOUSE – DAY
In another kitchen, Andrew jams Elizabeth’s hands down the garbage disposal and turns it on. A housewife arrives and surprises him in her kitchen. He does the same thing to the housewife’s hands and suffocates them both in black plastic bags.
EXT. TWO LANE HIGHWAY BRIDGE – NIGHT
He throws the bags off the bridge. They land in the river and sink to the bottom.
INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT
Andrew tasers the meanest boy, Floyd and sneaks him the back door.
He drags him to a loading dock at the closed factory where he’s keeping Mabel’s little girl, Tara. He starts up a forklift and pulls the chain he wrapped around his waist until Floyd’s stomach pops from his distended abdomen. His spine snaps. His liver sticks out.
Mabel and Ethel enter the factory front and back doors simultaneously, guns drawn.
Andrew holds a barber’s razor to Tara’s throat.
Mabel takes careful aim.
Ethel yells, NO! He’ll kill Tara.
Mabel hesitates. Ethel shoots Andrew in his right shoulder. He drops the razor. Snatches a steak knife with his left hand, prick’s Tara’s neck, dares them to shoot.
Ethel aims and fires a bullet into Andrew’s heart. Mabel call it in and comfort Tara.
When they’re backs are turned, Andrew revives, throws a knife. It plunges into Ethel’s throat. She slumps to her knees. Bleeds out.
INT. ROSE HILLS CEMETERY – DAY
Mabel and Tara stand before Ethel’s gravestone.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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