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Day 9 Assignments
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9 Replies
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Day 8: (Advanced Dialogue) – Anita’s Colorful Dialogue
What I learned: Colorful Dialogue Formats:
– Take to extreme
– Poetic
– Unique Naming
– Jargon
– Write emotionally
– Contradictory statements
– Strange conclusions
INT. REBECCA’S HOUSE – DAY
Danica’s come to visit. She has flowers.
The huge TV that was once the source of so much family entertainment now just drones out bleak background news.
Rebecca sits on the couch next to Ted, looking very ill. By now her husband and kids know about her advanced kidney disease.
In fact, she has been undergoing intensive dialysis. As Dani greets her sister and hands her the bouquet we see the ruined veins up and down Becky’s arms.
Dani flinches at the sight.
DANICA
Hey Beck.
Becky tugs down her sweater sleeve self-consciously.
REBECCA
Ted, could you put these in some water for me please?
Ted leaves with the flowers; the two sisters sit in awkward silence. Finally –
DANICA
So what does the doctor say?
REBECCA
Oh you know, the usual alphabet soup… CKD’s progressed… eGFR is off…. electrolytes imbalanced, blah-blah-blah –
DANICA
But the dialysis is working, right?
REBECCA
Well, I’m still here, so – guess so.
Rebecca looks out the window in her placid way.
REBECCA (CONT’D)
You know Dani, this isn’t a long-term solution. It’s just a matter of time –
Dani shakes her head in denial. The TV catches her eye. It’s a commercial about Cyrus Kilner running for re-election as Judge – all about “family values”.
TV ANNOUNCER
“Judge Kilner remains staunchly and unabashedly pro-life.”
CYRUS
(on TV commercial)
“Any woman who finds herself the vessel for the creation of human life should feel honored to be part of that most sacred process.” –
Danica jumps up, grabs the remote and turns the TV off. She’s fuming, pacing.
DANICA
(under her breath)
Disgusting! What a goddamned hypocrite!
REBECCA
Dani, please don’t use that language – there’s no need –
Danica whirls on her sister.
DANICA
(incredulous)
No Need!? There’s every need for that kind of language!
In the face of Becky’s frailty, she bites off the rest of her rant and sinks to the couch.
After a moment Becky speaks softly –
REBECCA
So I was right. It was his, wasn’t it?
It’s Dani’s turn to stare out the window.
DANICA
I didn’t go through with it you know. I – well, I just couldn’t –
REBECCA
(emotional)
You mean I have a niece or nephew out in the world?
DANICA
(irritated)
No, it’s not like that Beck. I mean, yes – technically – a niece, but I don’t know anything about her. Except –
(beat / gets choked up)
Except her name. I named her after dad.
REBECCA
Wait – you named your daughter Edgar!?
DANICA
(snorts – just like Harley)
Don’t be ridiculous! Harley. Her name’s Harley.
Rebecca takes this in. Nods her head.
REBECCA
Thank you Dani.
DANICA
For? –
REBECCA
That’s one big burden lifted from my heart. Just knowing she’s out there in the world lifts my spirit.
Dani reaches out and takes her sister’s hand. They sit that way for some time, each lost in their own thoughts.
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Cameron Martin’s Colorful Dialogue
What I learned doing this assignment is…don’t settle for average dialogue. Make every line pack a punch that sings with character, and don’t be hesitant to bring physicality to the scene. Again, it goes back to the question, what does this blocking, or this line say about this character.
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INT. JUDE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
SULLY checks the perimeter, looking for any chance of a breach, while JUDE sits with ISAIAH as he adds to his notebook.
ISAIAH
Are you really a spy?
JUDE
Oh, not a very good one. I’m more of a hired ranch hand.
SULLY
(in a thick redneck accent)
Howdy, I reckon that’s exactly what they hired you to do. Shovel The Hegemony’s crap?
Jude shifts her attention to Sully when he checks the door to her room.
JUDE
That’s secured, deer heart.
SULLY
(oh really?)
I’m sure it is.
Sully jiggles the handle, looking for a way inside.
SULLY
I’m sure that’s why they sent a wannabe cow polk to the far reaches of space. To shovel piles and piles of crap behind this very door.
Jude gets up.
ISAIAH
I’m sorry, I’m lost. I don’t think she’s here to shovel…poop.
JUDE
(on her way over to Sully)
Let me explain…
Jude takes Sully by the arm and puts him in a wrist lock.
ISAIAH
(jumping to his feet)
Daddy!?
JUDE
(pulling Sully away from the door)
Without a steady hand guiding it, a horse will never achieve its greatest potential.
SULLY
(breaking free)
Enough, I’m fine! Everything’s okay, Isaiah.
Sully then runs over and FRONT KICKS the door. The impact reverberates across Sully’s leg, but the door itself doesn’t budge.
SULLY
(grabbing his leg)
Shit!
JUDE
See, sweet thing. *cough* Your daddy’s still a wild animal, no better than those things.
Jude JUDO THROWS Sully to the floor.
JUDE
(coughing)
And only a capable hand can break an animal in to make it useful.
Jude lets go and coughs, desperate to catch her breath.
Realization washes over Isaiah’s face.
ISAIAH
Jude, how long have you been infected?
Sully gets up and hurries over to Isaiah, holding him and creating a barrier between him and Jude.
JUDE
Well, aren’t you perceptive? If only your daddy would let me catch my breath.
ISAIAH
Do you have an inhaler? Anything that can keep the lungs moist?
SULLY
Isaiah, now’s not the time.
ISAIAH
We can add to that time! They won’t hatch until—
SULLY
We have to go.
JUDE
Go where? You’re outside the bunker in an outbreak. There’re rules intended to keep everyone safe.
SULLY
I know. Just as well as you do. The only difference is I learned “rules” is just another word for “obstacles.” And I’m playing to win this time.
JUDE
All you people are the same. Too stupid to realize life’s a lot easier when you accept the inevitable.
ISAIAH
But, Jude. There’s a way. We just have to keep your lungs hydrated long enough. We can get a humidifier and get you plenty of water—
JUDE
And then what? You’d still have to get the eggs out. But, you use those smarts to help your daddy out. Maybe you two can get out of this.
(coughing becomes much more intense all of a sudden)
As for me. I don’t want to ruin a good thing.
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Day 9
Dev Ross – Colorful dialogue
What I learned, once again, how rethinking the dialogue within new parameters, uplifts it, makes it ring out, pushes things to extremes, adds dimension and personality to character…
EXT. GRASSY FIELD/ABANDONED COTTON MILL – NIGHT
Clay plows through a field of long dead stems of dried grass toward a long-abandoned Cotton Mill that once fueled a robust economy.
Lincoln, who’s been following him, appears in the distance. He’s winded.
LINCOLN
Stop running. We need to talk!
Clay sprints to the mill, tries several doors, finds one that he can wrest open, heads inside. The door, open wide, now slowly, painfully, starts its journey back to being closed.
Lincoln runs through the field toward the mill. He finds the still halfway open door and enters.
INT. ABANDONED COTTON MILL – CONTINUOUS
As Lincoln lingers in the half-light the door’s letting in, he hears…
CLAY (O.S.)
(Reciting from Proverbs)
“Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise one brings healing.”
He starts his search…
LINCOLN
We’re both guilty of ‘rash words,’ wouldn’t you say?
CLAY (O.S.)
I’d say: “Everyone who hears my words and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.’
Lincoln stands before row upon row of old cotton processing equipment. A dilapidated roof allows light to stream in.
LINCOLN
Matthew 7:24 – but you weren’t word perfect. I do know the bible.
The heavy door behind him finally shuts, the darkness pierced only by ceiling’s leaking light.
Lincoln ducks behind some machinery.
LINCOLN
Listen to me. We can talk this out. We can choose to change whatever this is.
CLAY (O.S.)
We can’t!
Clay steps out of the shadows.
CLAY
You’re the change that I can’t let happen!
Clay fires repeatedly at Lincoln’s dodging, ducking form…
LINCOLN
You can’t stop it by killing me!
Bullets speed past him.
CLAY
Extinguish the flame, stop the fire!
LINCOLN (O.S.)
And if you’re the fire?
Clay fires again and again as he moves toward the door and then shoots off its handle.
CLAY
God will choose.
Clay moves quietly through the mill when comes up behind Lincoln who squats in hiding. Clay raises his gun to shoot him in the back when a SHIMMER passes over Lincoln. The shimmer passes and Lincoln is gone.
CLAY
Or the Devil.
Another SHIMMER. Clay turns to see that now he’s in Clay’s sights, a gun pointed at him.
LINCOLN
I don’t want to kill you!
Then, he struggles as if his will is being forced out and replaced by another.
LINCOLN
Now that’s a lie, cuz, oh how I do want to kill you.
A SHIMMER passes as Lincoln fires… into nothing.
Now, SHIMMERS pass like the tide coming in, toppling over one to reach the shoreline.
Clay and Lincoln appear and then disappear, each while firing at each other from all over the huge warehouse. Their shouts are cut off, disembodied, their voices becoming intermingled…
LINCOLN/CLAY
I’ll kill you!/Kill you!/You need to die!/You die!
A near final SHIMMER has them standing across from each other – like two Western gunfighters about to draw. The men apprehensively aim at each other, expecting at any moment for another shimmer. When it doesn’t happen…
LINCOLN
So this is how it all finally ends.
CLAY
Yes, this is how it ends.
They fire, yet still stand, blinking at each other in disbelief. As if mirrored reflections, they both sink to their knees. Their eyes lock. Another SHIMMER hits, envelops the two halves into a whole, who hit the warehouse floor unseen face first.
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June Fortunato’s Colorful Dialogue Day 9 of dialogue
Some of these pages are revised and so I repost here. Previous to these pages (90-94.) Roy worked on a film with the pyrotechnicians. Kim returned to the hospital to look for Roy. Marilyn is the woman whose car she stole. It’s very near the ending, and the writing is emotional and sometimes contradictory.
EXT. FILM SET – AFTERNOON Roy & Pyro Crewman finish the pack up. Pyro extends his hand.
PYRO CREWMAN Good working with you, Roy. I’ll request you next time.
ROY EX cellentness.
PYRO CREWMAN And… (pulls out his cell phone) Why don’t you give me your number?
ROY No gots.
PYRO CREWMAN No cell?! Email?
Roy shakes his head.
ROY That’s OK, I’ll find you.
Stark revelation.
PYRO CREWMAN How you gonna get paid?
ROY First ride free. It’s been real.
Roy turns to leave.
PYRO CREWMAN Yo, wait.
Takes out his wallet.
See what you can do with this.
Gives Roy his cash.
Join the union, man.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY & NURSES’ STATION – AFTERNOON Kim’s about to leave, when Marilyn, in her wheelchair, is pushed into the hall. Kim and Marilyn recognize each other. Kim tries to hide her face. Too late.
MARILYN From the boutique?!
KIM Hi, Lady.
MARILYN Oh, come here! How are you dear?
KIM What happened to YOU?
MARILYN Fuss and bother. I broke my hips and then broke my spine. I’m in a mess. … Oh don’t worry. But come visit me? I’m lonely, you know.
KIM Uh.
MARILYN It happened right after we met. My car was misplaced. By the time I got home, my Woofie and Ludwig were so excited! And knocked me down.
KIM Oh no!
MARILYN I miss them so much. I’d love for you to meet them.
SUZY Yes, please.
MARILYN Nurse Suzy’s petsitting until we can find someone. Do you like dogs?
KIM I love dogs. And I know someone else who does, too.
But, suddenly, Kim hates herself.
KIM I… I gotta go.
SUZY Wait. Let me show you the ropes.
MARILYN Please. Nurse Suzy needs your help.
SUZY We both do.
Pause. Kim, mortified, doesn’t know what to do.
SUZY Come back at six. I’ll take you over.
Kim nods and rushes into the stairwell.
INT. HOSPITAL – STAIRWELL – CONTINUOUS As soon as the door closes, Kim collapses into tears.
INT. MARILYN’S HOME – TWILIGHT Suzy and a more composed Kim, enter. Woofie and Ludwig take to Kim immediately and she to them.
INTERCUT
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY & NURSES’ STATION Visual only. Tara tells Roy about Kim’s visit, and writes Marilyn’s address on a slip of paper.
While:
Suzy and Kim’s conversation overlaps the scene.
SUZY (O.S.) And you’ll take the best – the finest care –
KIM (O.S.) I am. I will. I’ll love them with all my heart.
SUZY (O.S.) Because that kid next door was …
EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREETS – TWILIGHT – CONTINUOUS Suzy and Kim walk the dogs.
KIM Suzy, this is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.
SUZY Oh. So. Not Roy?
Kim laughs.
KIM Definitely Roy. Too.
SUZY You won’t steal anything?
KIM No!
SUZY Because Marilyn is – She doesn’t deserve this – what happened to her. Pause. And just between us. It’s not looking good for her.
Pause. Internally, Kim’s self condemnation battles with her affirmations. Kim sits on the front steps. Suzy watches her.
SUZY You’re good???
Kim gives a thumbs up.
SUZY OK. You know where everything is. I’ll come back later. Call me!
KIM You got it.
Suzy leaves. Kim hugs the two dogs tightly and talks into their fur.
KIM I will be good. I will be strong. I will be just. I will not do anything to hurt you or that poor lady. I am good. I am strong. I am trying. I will try.
Across the street, Roy watches. He keeps his distance. Finally, Kim looks up and sees him.
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DAY 9 Creating Colorful Dialogue
Lisa’s Colorful Dialogue
What I learned is that it is difficult to make each piece of dialogue unique and special.
Scene from “Mary’s Wonderful Christmas”
INT-CAR-DAY
DASH and DONNA, US Government officials chasing kidnapped Santa Claus, are in a line of cars at the Canadian-US border crossing. Donna is driving. And they are singing at the top of their lungs…
DONNA AND DASH IN UNISON
Up on the housetop reindeer pause,
Out jumps dear old Santa Claus.
Down thru the chimney with lots of toys
All for the little ones, Christmas joys.
DONNA
I can’t imagine Christmas without Santa this year. We need him these days. He is so kind and he can create miracles!
DASH
You sure know a lot about Santa Claus.
DONNA
Santa can see all of the people around the world, and he makes children happy year after year. That’s awesomely special.
DASH
Yeah, he’s cool.
DONNA
Cool? (rhyming) Santa Claus, isn’t the Wizard of OZ! He has to follow laws…like us!
DASH
We’re like Santa Claus?
DONNA
Yes, in our own way. In the fact that we have to follow the us government laws and he has the Christmas laws which he lives by. And we help people too.
DASH
(looking puzzled)
Christmas laws?
DONNA
Anyway, what we got there?
DASH
(looking at his iPad)
Look! They are really booking it now.
DONNA
They had to ditch the snowmobiles by now.
DASH
(sarcastically)
Duh! Snowmobiles don’t usually run well on roads, Mensa.
DONNA
I know that, but they probably had a car waiting somewhere.
DASH
Nah, They’re moving at the speed of light.
DONNA
Okay, Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
DASH
They must be on a train! Maybe we can catch the train?
DONNA
OMG! We can’t catch a train. What are we going to catch it with? A big net?
DASH
No! But maybe we can get there first.
DONNA
We won’t get anywhere unless we keep moving! (yelling out the window) Come on!!
Dash looks at his iPod.
DASH
Hey. The signal has stopped. It looks like they’re in Seneca Falls, New York!
Donna pulls out of line and speeds up to the border crossing. CANADIAN BORDER GUARDS stop them.
DONNA
We are with the US government, and we are on a mission!
BORDER GUARD #1
What kind of mission?
DASH
(hysterical)
It’s a matter of life and death!
BORDER GUARD #1
(to Donna)
Is he alright? Do you have identification?
Donna hands over her driver’s license and her NORAD badge.
BORDER GUARD #1 (CONTINUED)
NORAD, eh? What are you doing? Chasing Santa Claus?
Border Guard #1 laughs. BORDER GUARD #2 is standing on the passenger side of the car and he laughs too.
DONNA
As a matter of fact,
BORDER GUARD #2
(mockingly)
Hey! Look at us! We are chasing Santa Claus! Let us through!
The Border Guards laugh hysterically.
DASH
It’s true! Now let us through!
BORDER GUARD #1
(mockingly)
Let us through! Santa Claus we’re coming for you!
BORDER GUARD #2
(to Guard #1, drawing it out)
Sooooo, what are we going to do?
BORDER GUARD #1
Well, we wouldn’t want to hold up Christmas!
The Border Guards laugh harder.
BORDER GUARD #1 (CONTINUED)
Go on. Get out of here!
Border Guard #1 hands Donna’s documents back to her. Donna speeds off and they are heard picking up their song where they left off…
DONNA AND DASH
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go!
Ho, ho ,ho! Who wouldn’t go!
Up on the housetop, click, click, click,
Down thru the chimney with good Saint Nick.
The Border Guards mimic a Santa sleigh ride.
BORDER GUARDS in UNISON
We’re coming Santa Claus!
The Border Guards stop and look after the car for a moment.
BORDER GUARD #2
Maybe we should have checked out the guy?
BORDER GUARD #1
Maybe we should have called in their IDs?
The Border Guards stare at each other, then they run to the Guard House to hide for a while.
FADE OUT
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Matthew Frendo’s Colorful Dialogue
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned how to enhance dialogue through different coloring techniques. This will make the dialogue more interesting and attractive to actors.
EXT. ABANDONED CIRCUS – NIGHT
Jocelyn is walking away, Kristen following.
KRISTEN
Wait! Where are you going?
JOCELYN
You almost got me viciously eaten and consumed by Mr. Hellish Beast of Torment over there!
KRISTEN
I almost got eaten by whatever hellish beast thing you called it too…but you saved me!
JOCELYN
Ugh. I do not save people. I barely try to save myself.
KRISTEN
You’re a freaking hero! Like Superman, but with more tattoos and an anger problem.
Jocelyn closes her eyes, and pretends to pray.
JOCELYN
Oh Kristen’s God, please save me from your annoying, far-too-sunshiny followers.
She opens her eyes and sees Kristen beaming at her.
JOCELYN
See, you’re God hates me.
KRISTEN
He doesn’t hate you. He loves you more than anybody because you saved ME!
JOCELYN
I just helped you for my own reasons. It wasn’t about saving you. Ugh. Stop saying that.
KRISTEN
Maybe we can be a badass monster fighting team now. “BFFs from Heaven” we can call it.
JOCELYN
Every word in that sentence makes me want to barf.
KRISTEN
But you didn’t say no.
ALICIA
Hey, wait!
She starts running up to them.
JOCELYN
Thank God.
Kristen beams at her.
JOCELYN
I meant another God. One who didn’t ruin my life.
Alicia gets there.
ALICIA
You found a weapon.
Jocelyn looks at the wrench in her hand.
JOCELYN
It’s a basic lug wrench. It would be better if it was a thirty inch adjustable wrench, or large screwdrivers that could be sharpened–
She notices they’re looking at her.
JOCELYN
What? I used to work on cars.
KRISTEN
Because she’s a cool super badass. Even if she is cranky and mean.
JOCELYN
Hey! Just because I don’t want to be your personal albatross bringing in the south wind–
KRISTEN
I don’t even know what that means, silly.
ALICIA
I think I was wrong before. It might be a good idea to work together after all.
KRISTEN
Yes! Yes! A million times yes!
JOCELYN
Oh, you gotta be freaking kidding me!
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Kates Colorful Dialogue
“What I learned doing this assignment is it brought out an entire character I had barely mentioned before as she came to life fighting with Darrogh. And it was fun to do with those elements in mind.
(COLORFUL DIALOGUE SCENE.)
Flashback scene to Amahla and Darrogh fighting.
INT. BEDROOM IN DARROGH AND AMAHLA’S HOUSE -20 YEARS AGO
Early evening, Amahla is sitting at her dressing table, in a long apricot-colored lacy slip, brushing her hair looking in the mirror, happily humming Gershwin’s ‘’Lets Call The Whole Thing Off to herself.
The door cracks open and Darrogh’s face appears. He looks at her a long while, as she is unaware.
He steps into the room and lets the door bang behind hm. Amahla Jumps, dropping the brush which rolls away from her toward Darrogh.
AMAHLA
Oh heavens! You startled me!
DARROGH
Oh, did I? Sorry.
AMAHLA
(smiling easily)
It’s ok. I’ll live. Can you pass me the brush please?
DARROGH
I can, but will I?
Amahla senses something is off.
AMAHLA
Darrogh? You ok?
Darrogh, with exaggerated courtesy, picks up the brush and holds it out to her, just out of reach.
DARROGH
As ok as a man can be. Your brush.
Amahla stands carefully watching him. She knows him enough to feel the danger here even though she’s not experienced it. She tries to make him smile. She drops a curtsey.
AMAHLA
Thank you, kind sir.
Darrogh bows in like fashion, as if to then present her with the brush but instead, but walks in a circle away from her, keeping her in his sight.
DARROGH
Expecting company tonight?
AMAHLA
No. Just you.
DARROGH
JUST me…
AMAHLA
I mean, only you .. noone else.
DARROGH
How disappointing for you.
AMAHLA
Darrogh! Don’t start this.
DARROGH
Start what?!
AMAHLA
This, this nonsense. I love you – always have, always will.
DARROGH
So what’s with the song!
AMAHLA
Song?
In exaggerated imitation, but good voice, Darrogh sings.
DARROGH
‘Things have come to a pretty pass Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that’.
AMAHLA
It’s a song! It doesn’t mean anything.
DARROGH
Oh so these lines don’t mean anything?
(he sings)
‘But oh if we call the whole thing off then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart’.
Amahla has had enough. She reaches for the brush.
AMAHLA
It’s a song.
Darrogh holds the brush above his head.
DARROGH
You are cock-tease Amahla.
AMAHLA
And you’re a first class shit.
DARROGH
Always first class here.
AMAHLA
Give me the brush.
DARROGH
Or what?
Amahla suddenly, and very skillfully, takes 3 steps forward, leaps into the air like a gymnast reaching for the rings, grabs the brush from Darrogh’s uplifted hand, and using her other hand vaults off his other shoulder, and lands back almost where she started.
There is a moment as they face each other at each other.
DARROGH
If it weren’t for me you’d still be in the circus and maybe that’s where you I should send you back to.
AMAHLA
Nia would like that.
Darrogh is taken aback.
DARROGH
MY child will never be a fucking gypsy! Tramping about the country, sleeping with any man who looks her way.
AMAHLA
How dare you! I left my world to be with you. You’re the one who haunted me, followed me from show to show ‘til I couldn’t do anything but agree to go with you.
DARROGH
And I have given you everything. A life you could never have imagined.
Amahla comes to him, gently.
AMAHLA
Yes, dearest Darrogh. You have. And I love you, not for what you’ve given me but for who you really are when this darkness isn’t upon you.
There is a long moment as Darrogh looks at her. She strokes his arm, and hands, down to his fingers one by one. He begins to relax.
AMAHLA
Come to bed, dear man who I love so much.
She pulls his toward the bed.
DARROGH
I need a shower.
AMAHLA
I can help you with that.
Darrogh sits on the edge of the bed and pulls her into his lap, enfolding her in an all encompassing embrace into which she melts. He looks over her shoulder as she snuggles in. He is both relieved and also slightly sad as if he doesn’t believe this will last.
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Day 9 – Creating Colorful Dialogue – Assignment
Mike O – Colorful Dialogue
What I learned doing this assignment is that it another tool at a writer’s disposal. Dialogue is in my opinion, the single most important facet to master in script writing.
1. Write a scene where two characters oppose each other.
2. Go back through and look to see how you can use each of these Colorful Dialogue Formats in the dialogue.
– Take to extreme
– Poetic
– Unique Naming
– Jargon
– Write emotionally
– Contradictory statements
– Strange conclusions============================================
INT. CORNER TABLE – LATER
Brooklyn glances out the window: snow falling, pines swaying. In a word, amazing! Sitting across the table, Richard. His nonchalance a pretext. Before them, their entrees.
BROOKLYN “I heard you are interested in the gallery.”
RICHARD “I’m not sure this is the time or place, but since you broached the subject, what were you thinking?”
BROOKLYN “I don’t know: rental contract, lease agreement, lease-to-own? I’m not sure if I want to sell, or take over where my father left off.”
Richard reaches for his wine, gives a thoughtful pause while savoring the Merlot.
RICHARD (lies) “Your father and I were business partners. Believe you will find papers to that effect in the office. Where, Lord knows, Joshua was lax with organization. Neither of us went to college for business. “
Richard flashes a charming smile as the waitress returns with a water pitcher. He waits while she refills their glasses.
RICHARD “Joshua and I worked well together. Acquisitions, appraisals and client signings, my area of expertise. Marketing, promotions and showings, your father’s focus.”
Brooklyn, knife in hand, slices into her steak. CLOSE ON the BLOOD leaking out of the New York strip.
Richard, lips red with wine, dabs his mouth with a linen napkin. The princess-cut diamond on Brooklyn’s index finger holds his gaze. Knowing the clarity, cut and worth gives him pause.
RICHARD “I would never have guessed you like your meat bloody. Red is the color of romance. (B ‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.’”
BROOKLYN “A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act One, Scene One, if I’m not mistaken. For me, red represents power and courage.”
RICHARD (Mona Lisa smile) “Artists need a lot of both.”
BROOKLYN (counter-punches) “You interested in renting, or do you have something else in mind?
RICHARD “I’m just the hired help. After all, what does a salesman know about business besides the ABC’s:(off her look) Artists, Buyers and Commissions. At the moment, I’m still processing your father’s passing.
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<div>PS81 – Dana’s Colorful Dialogue
</div><div>What I learned Doing This Assignment.
</div>
Dialogue needs to “pop.” Don’t hold back, push the extremes to define character.
SETUP:
Ryan, the psychotic alter, has revealed on air that he’s kidnapped Ellen’s family.
SCENE:
INT. ON AIR STUDIO – CONTINUOUS
Ellen nods.
RYAN
Dr. Ellen? Come out, come out wherever you are.
ELLEN
I’m here —
RYAN
For a moment, I thought I’d lost you.
ELLEN
What do you want?
RYAN
We’ll get to that. But first, we need to lay the ground rules.
ELLEN
Ground rules?
RYAN
Let me begin by apologizing to your sporting enthusiasts. The Dr. Ellen Show will be running long today, so Dick Metcalf’s Sports Bonanza will be bumped until further notice.
ELLEN
Why are you doing this?
RYAN
Your station may want to consider refunding its advertising revenue to the sponsors. I’m going to demand your undivided attention today, and that means your show can never leave the air, not for a single moment. No news updates. No commercials. No station breaks. Not even a PSA for orphaned puppies. Or the show’s over. Do you uderstand?
ELLEN
Please, don’t do this…
Pete join the team in the control room. He can’t believe what’s happening.
RYAN
I also don’t want our time infected by outsiders. We have a good thing here, you and I, so no interlopers. No family. No friends.
(with emphasis)
And no cops. Their involvement only adds tension to an already emotional situation. Besides, this is what you get paid to do.
Ellen looks to Sorensen — he nods.
ELLEN
Okay. No police.
RYAN
Good. Now we’ve come to the theme for our show. It’s about second chances — yours, Dr. Ellen.
ELLEN
What do you mean?
RYAN
I’m going to give you a second chance to redeem yourself.
ELLEN
I don’t understand.
RYAN
Do you know what it’s like to live on the streets? Begging people for money? Digging through garbage for bottles and cans? Not knowing where you’re going to sleep one night to the next? The stench. The filth. It’s intolerable.
ELLEN
Please, just tell me. What do you want?
RYAN
The others and I have grown weary of living Jason’s hellish life. We need a reprieve. And you’re going to help us.
(beat)
You’re going to use all of your psychological prowess to excise Jason from our reality.
ELLEN
What?
RYAN
You’re going to convince Jason to cease to exist.
Ellen turns to the others with stunned disbelieve.
ELLEN
That’s impossible. I can’t do that.
RYAN
Don’t quit before you get started, Ellen. That’s defeatist talk. Your family’s depending on you.
ELLEN
My family?
RYAN
I intend to kill one member of your family every hour on the hour until Jason is no more.
ELLEN
Oh, dear God. No, no. Please. You can’t do this. You can’t. Please, no… not my family…
RYAN
Greatness requires sacrifice and pain, Ellen. Embrace it. It’s a gift. A moment in time given to achieve the extraordinary.
ELLEN
This is insane…
RYAN
We live between genius and madness. You of all people should appreciate that. This is your awakening. Your becoming.
ELLEN
Please, I’m begging you. Don’t do this. Please…
RYAN
Don’t worry, Ellen. I have faith in you.
Shock takes Ellen, crying without sound.
RYAN (CONT’D)
Now… let’s talk.
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