Day 9 Assignments

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis’ Dialogue 3-5

I learned from this assignment that the dialogue in my script already had a lot of setup/payoff and anticipatory dialogue, but could use more ironic dialogue.

Setup/Payoff

#1 (After)

DELIA

We’re not quite there.

DELIA

It doesn’t matter. Sooner or later she’ll find something that sticks. And then it’ll be too late.

#2 (After)

ZACK

But Sasha. It’ll ruin her.

MANNING

I’ll need your badge and your gun.

Anticipatory Dialogue

#1 (After)

DELIA

This apple decided to run as far away from that tree as she possibly could.

(beat)

Now what are we going to do about her?

#2 (After)

DELIA

I’m sorry you feel that way, but I am worried.

(softer)

You’re seeing them again, aren’t you? Just like ten years ago.

Ironic Dialogue

#1 (After) Words opposite Words

DELIA

Don’t get me wrong, Duncan, I’m always glad to see you. But it is a busy time–

#2 (After) Words Opposite Action

DUNCAN

Are you really gonna waste your time going after every P.I. I talk to?

DELIA

It’s not a waste if I’m looking out for you.

#3 (After) Words Opposite Character

SASHA

Hey, mom.

TRISH (O.C.)

What’s wrong? You don’t sound like yourself.

SASHA

I’m fine. How’re you?

[Marcus Wolf]

Lesson 9

Marcus’ Dialog 4-6.

I learned doing this assignment some more ways to punch up my dialog. Like Phyllis, I had a lot of setup/payoff and anticipatory dialog already. In fact, I didn’t think I’d really find any place to add anything new. But I was surprised. These (and irony) let me do some nice rewrites. I thought I was pretty good at dialog, but having specific goals for each pass of rewriting it really helps. I went through my entire script with this.

I didn’t save any of the “before” dialog, but I was proud of the “afters”. A lot of times in the past, I’ve looked at dialog and wondered if it was good enough. I mainly focused on subtext and avoiding exposition. Now I have several more tools to mindfully work with.