Day 9 Assignments

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Scene Requirements

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create real depth and meaning to my scenes so they deliver on multiple levels using a scene arc, essence, conflict, subtext, and hope/fear. What is each scene about and trying to accomplish? What conflict happens in the scene? What is happening below the surface? What hopes and fears does the audience have for the protagonist? Most of my scenes intercut and tie together in a larger sequence, so most of my scene requirements are really sequence requirements. This means, I have to not only make sure each scene works within the sequence but make sure the sequence itself works on a profound and deep level. This is complicated but fun to figure out. Still have much to do, however, the pieces of a large puzzle are starting to come together and I am excited!

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom wakes up in pitch darkness. His breathing becomes heavy. Ringing from a loud cellphone startles him. He answers and uses the light to see that he is trapped inside a coffin-like box. A man with an accent asks if Tom is ready to confess.

Scene Arc: From Tom awakening in a box to what led up to that point including being kidnapped.

Essence: See Tom’s normal life, then he and his family being kidnapped.

Conflict: Tom and Susan argue over money, then Tom tries to fight off kidnappers.

Subtext: Who is kidnapping them and why?

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom and his family will be safe but fear for their safety.

SUPER: TWO HOURS EARLIER

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL STADIUM – DAY

Tom and his wife, Susan clapping in the stands. Tom’s son lines up and kicks winning field goal, as Tom’s daughter leads the cheerleading squad.

EXT. FAST-FOOD DRIVE-THRU – DAY

Tom pulls his SUV into the drive-thru lane behind two other cars.

INT. SUV – DAY

They discuss the game as Tom waits for other cars to move forward so they can order. Fast-food worker greets them when they are next. Tom and his wife Susan get into a heated argument over his penny-pinching when he says they can only order from the dollar menu.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Driving down the street still arguing trying to eat when a black van cuts them off.

INT. SUV – DAY

Susan yells for Tom to look out! Fries go flying as Tom jams on the brakes to avoid a collision.

EXT. STREET – DAY

A second van blocks them from behind and a third skids to a stop to their side. Masked gunmen rush out of the vans, smash Tom’s window when he refuses to open the door. The gunmen grab Tom, Susan and the kids. Tom tries to stop them but is knocked out.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage. Tom tells him they must have the wrong guy; he doesn’t own a pool and is just a Van Nuys Staples store manager. Mob boss says I know exactly who you are, Tom Carter.

Scene Arc: From Tom finding out where he is and why he is trapped to seeing how he handles a stressful situation at work.

Essence: Tom says they have the wrong man, he’s just a store manager.

Conflict: Tom confronts a store thief.

Subtext: Dmitriy knows more than Tom realizes.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can stop the thief but fear he will be stabbed with a knife.

INT. STAPLES STORE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

Tom is interviewing a potential employee or doing?, adjusts his name tag, which reads, TOM CARTER – MANAGER.

EXT. STAPLES STORE – DAY

A man wearing a hoodie on a hot day grabs a shopping cart and enters the store.

INT. STAPLES – DAY

The security guard warns the store manager, Tom, they have a “live one.” Tom walks out of his office, starts to surveil the man. Tom coordinates other employees to keep an eye on him. Tom confronts the man when he attempts to steal a laptop. Tries to talk him out of stealing it, but the man pulls a knife. Tom protects the customers, employees, and himself as the man becomes erratic and makes a run for the exit. Tom barely avoids being stabbed and knocks the laptop out of the man’s hand, but the thief escapes.

INT. BOX – DAY

Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Scene Arc: From Tom finding he and his family have 60 minutes to live to a full-on panic.

Essence: Tom told to confess or he and his family will die. Tom has panic attack.

Conflict: Dmitriy threatens to kill Tom and his family.

Subtext: Dmitriy thinks he is in control but is being played.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom and his family will be safe but fear for their safety.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy shows Tom his family is tied and gagged.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom doesn’t believe he is at the bottom of a pool, could be anywhere. Tells Dmitriy to prove it.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy orders his brother to dive into the pool and knock on the box. Ivan resists until Dmitriy insists.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

Ivan dives into the pool.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom hears the knocking on outside of box. Still doesn’t prove he is underwater, but Tom starts to have a panic attack.

INT. ELEVATOR – DAY

Tom gets stuck in an elevator as a teenager, emergency phone doesn’t work, he yells for help, none comes, he panics, pisses himself.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy tries to get Tom to focus on his happy place. Tom says he doesn’t have one. Susan recognizes Tom is having a panic attack, gets phone, helps Tom calm down, take deep breathes, and look into her eyes, focus on day they got married.

EXT. HAWAII – DAY

Wedding on the beach near the ocean with a picture-perfect sunset. Family and friends in attendance. Tom stares lovingly into Susan’s eyes, the happiest day of his life.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom calms down.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy yanks the phone back. Asks Tom if he is ready to confess.

INT. BOX – DAY

No, Tom didn’t do anything.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy tells Tom he knows about Tom’s ties to Ukraine and his hated of Russia, and his computer programming background, started at Staples in the tech department repairing computers.

INT. BOX – DAY

Yes, his great-grandparents lived in Ukraine and emigrated to America over 100 years ago, so what? Facts point to reasons why Tom could be guilty, but he says they don’t prove he is.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Tom’s daughter tries to say something but is gagged. Says she has to go to the bathroom.

Scene Arc: From Tom’s daughter having to pee to her finding out there is no easy escape.

Essence: Tom’s daughter tries to escape but can’t.

Conflict: Kidnappers in total control.

Subtext: Dmitriy controls the situation, for now.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom’s daughter can escape and get help but fear she will be caught.

INT. MANSION – BATHROOM – DAY

Tom’s daughter shuts door, quickly slides open the bathroom window, sees a Russian standing guard, gun in his waistband. Ivan bangs on the door, makes her pee with door open.

INT. BOX – DAY

Dmitriy calls, threatens Tom’s family. Tom says he will fucking kill Dmitriy if he hurts them. Big words from someone trapped in a box.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy threatens to rape them instead, even the dog.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom cusses Dmitriy out and Dmitriy disconnects call saying you have 45 minutes left. Tom ponders what to do, calls 911, is put on hold.

Scene Arc: From Tom trying to escape his box to water leaking in.

Essence: Tom tries to get help from the police.

Conflict: Dmitriy threatening to harm Tom’s family.

Subtext: Dmitriy still has the upper hand, but for how long?

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can reach the police and get help but fear they won’t find him in time.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Tom’s son says he now has to pee. Dmitriy tells him to hold it, should have gone before they left. Son says he can’t hold it, didn’t know some asshole was going to kidnap them.

INT. BOX – DAY

911 operator finally comes on and Tom tells her what is happening. He realizes he has no idea where he is. Police can’t help or find him, only know general area where he is.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

A police car on routine patrol approaches, then continues down the street, does not turn around.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom feels something, shines phone light at box, sees water leaking into the box. Calls Dmitriy in a panic.

Scene Arc: From water leaking in the box to filling to the top with Tom confessing at the last second.

Essence: Tom’s box fills with water and time runs out!

Conflict: Tom is running out of air and time!

Subtext: Dmitriy can’t let Tom die.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can escape but fear he will drown.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy does nothing to help if Tom refuses to confess. Guess you believe me now about the pool.

INT. BOX – DAY

Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Pounds side of box in frustration. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, touches Tom’s wife in a suggestive and sexual way. This upsets Ivan.

INT. BOX – DAY

More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher, as water fills half the box.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy is unmoved, hurts Tom’s kids, backhands Tom’s son when he talks back.

INT. BOX – DAY

When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy runs outside, orders Tom be freed from box.

INT. BOX – DAY

The box opens and Tom gasps for breath.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy points gun at Tom, escorts him inside.

Scene Arc: From Tom escaping the box to learning the truth, then fighting to the death and saving his kids.

Essence: Tom escapes only to learn he has been framed and must fight to the death.

Conflict: Tom fights with Ivan to the death.

Subtext: Dmitriy and Tom are being setup and played.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can save his family but fear he will lose.

INT. MANSION -DAY

Tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Ivan pulls a gun on Dmitriy who is shocked to learn his brother betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Tom and his kids are safe.

INT. BOX – DAY

Susan is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

All assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a
billionaire. The garage door slowly opens, and Tom pulls out in a Ferrari with
a big smile on his face. Speeds down the street into the sunset.

[CJ Knapp]

CJ’s Scene requirements

Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.

WIL: I continue to find ways to elevate and fix holes in the story and better to find now then write myself in a corner!

Title: MEMORY HUNTERS

Concept:

In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.

INT. PRISTINE BASEMENT – NIGHT

An 8-year old girl cowers in a corner. Screams are heard.

Scene arc: Mya is little girl. The abductor comes retrieve her – she is chained to a dead body.

Conflict: Mya struggles to drag body to escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can get away we fear she won’t.

INT. MYA ORTEGA’S BEDROOM – DAY

Mya wakes from her nightmare. Headache and haggard.

Subtext: Mya has never dealt with her childhood trauma

Scene Arc: Mya goes from her nightmare into her ready to fight.

INT. ORTEGA KITCHEN – DAY

Mya and her sister argue about Mya seeing a doctor about brain tumor.

Essence: we establish that Mya needs help the doctor’s think the brain tumor is psychosomatic

Scene Arc: Mya is late for work and blames Stella for all her problems to avoid taking responsibility for her own actions.

Conflict: Mya doesn’t like Stella trying to be her mother.

Subtext: Mya blames Stella for her abduction when she was a child.

Hope/Fear: We hope Mya will get the tumor looked at but we are afraid she will continue to ignore it.

EXT. STREETS – DAY

Mya and her friend Jason get coffee and talk about work.

Conflict: Jason likes Mya but she brushes him off.

Hope/Fear: We hope Mya will like Jason but we fear that she won’t notice him.

Essence: Memory Retrieval Company is introduced.

EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY

Mya arrives at work it’s a state of the art building with high tech abilities.

Essence: establishing state of the art technology

INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY

Mya drops her bag and is razzed by co-worker Terry.

Scene Arc: Mya arrives at work she’s late and rushes into a meeting with a family.

Conflict: Mya is intimidated by the son who wants to know where his mother hid the Will and Testament and jewelry.

Hope/Fear: We hope Mya stands up to him we fear for his mother and that Mya will help him..

Subtext: He is abusive with all females as his wife also demonstrates.

Essence: We learn how memory hunter works and the process.

INT. MYA’S DESK

Mya is secretly researching old memory hunts.

(E) Mya wants to find a way to hide her own memories

(H/F) We hope we finds an answer but fear she is just running away.

INT. ORTEGA HOME – NIGHT

Mya and Stella fight about doctor and Mya hints her anger with Stella.

(SA) Mya in denial about her dealing with her issue.

(C) Angry at her sister and blames Stella for all her issues.

EXT. STREETS – NIGHT

Mya and Jason hover board and bond over dysfunctional families.

(SA) Mya complains about her over-bearing sister and Jason has no one.

(E) Mya talks about what she hopes to get from Memory Hunters.

EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY

Catherine holds a press conference and announces new government contract.

(E) Catherine is looking for public awareness

(C) A man abuses his dog – and Catherine intervenes – she cares about animals

(SA) Catherine takes time after the public contract announcement to hint at future aspirations.

INT. MYA’S DESK

Mya scours past cases and review memory files and see files not logged. She tries to open them and is locked out.

(E) Mya sorts through screens of memories looking for consistent patterns.

(SA) She goes from screening memories to researching new unlogged cases and is denied access

(C) Her access generates an ALARM

INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES – DAY

A commotion as a memory hunter is extracted from a mind – Freddie’s mind!

(S)Terry fill us in on Freddie – he knows more than he is telling.

(E) Who is Freddie and why is he there? Parents of a victim want closure

INT. CATHERINE’S OFFICE

Catherine calls Terry into her office. She’s received an ALERT that files are being illegally accessed.

(E) There is something going on between them

(SA) Catherine starts with business ends with sex

EXT. STREETS – NIGHT

Mya talks with Jason and tells him about her findings –

(SA) that the incursions are taking place BEFORE the scheduled incursion with the authorities present.

(E) Mya’s research almost gets her killed as she is run off the road and Jason is hurt.

INT. FRANK YORGEN’S OFFICE

(E) Mya pulls her notes together and takes them into Frank’s office. Someone else is in the office in the window –

(S) The figure is back lit so hard to see but a GLINT catches Mya’s eyes.

(C) Catherine takes the file and tells Frank she will have another analyst look into it.

INT. TERRY’S DESK

Terry gets a call, listens. Sees Mya and calls her over for a lesson.

(S) Drops hints about Frank being desperate for money as his wife is ill.

(E) Terry is misleading Mya

INT. ORTEGA HOME – NIGHT

Stella has a doctor appointment for Mya.

(C) They fight and Mya tells her that if she hadn’t left her in the park she wouldn’t be damaged.

(E) Stella tells Mya she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

(S) Stella is fed up with Mya blaming her for everything.

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

Mya sneaks Stella in.

(E) Mya is afraid what she will see. Starts to back out –

(C) Stella insists.

INT. STELLA’S MIND

(E) Mya goes through all the pain and issues that Stella has been hiding and handling on her own.

(SA)Mya is ashamed at how she’s been treating her sister… and finds the memory.

(H/F) We hope Mya can find what she is looking for we fear she won’t like what she sees.

EXT. MEMORY – PARK – DAY

Stella and Mya play in the park. Stella wants to go home.

(C) Mya doesn’t. As Stella gathers their things Mya runs away from Stella.

(SA) Mya feels the Panic and Despair that Stella went through.

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

(E) Mya comes out of Stella’s mind.

(H/F) Stella is tired and vacant – a standard reaction to being “hunted” We hope Stella is okay we fear she may not recover.

INT. HOSPITAL

(E) Mya visits Jason as he is checked out. He will be on desk duty but will be back to work in the morning.

(S) Mya tells him what she found out. Something’s off.

(H/F)She tells him she is set to go into an embezzlers mind in the morning. Jason is afraid for her to go into a memory hunt – he’s afraid something will happen.

INT. ORTEGA KITCHEN

Mya comes in Stella is at the table – they share a cup of tea and talk and hug it out the first time in a long time.

(S) Mya helps Stella for a change admitting she’s made Stella do everything.

(E) Mya admits her own part in her past/

(SA) Stella challenges her and Mya admits she knows its true because to can tell fake memories or if one has been altered.

INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES

Mya gets ready for her big assignment. Embezzler’s mind.

(E) Mya does her homework – knows what she is looking for and who the target is.

(H/F) We hope the incursion goes well but fear she is still new at what she is doing.

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

Mya is surprised to see Terry there, but he’s there for her first big incursion.

(H/F) We hope Terry is there to help we fear he has ulterior motive.

(SA) Mya goes from confident to worried based on Terry’s comments.

(C) Mya with Terry that she is ready. She resents him babysitting.

INT. MIND

Mya wanders hallways of a mind.

(E) She’s puzzled. SHE RECORDS HER FINDINGS – No office scenes no computers. It’s dark. SCREAMS and CRIES.

MONTAGE OF SHOTS

– Mya goes to help a cry sees a young girl badly battered

– Mya goes from room to room and see broken bodies

– Freddie calls her – Welcome Home

– (SA)Mya runs and see’s memories flash by her – including someone talking to Freddie and flash / Glint off a ring

– (S) Freddie delights in the hunt as he chases Mya through his mind and brags about each girl she see’s – and he was expecting her.

(H/F) We hope she can find a way out we are afraid she will be captured by Freddie.

INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES

(E) Jason comes into office to check on Mya and sees the Embezzler – he’s alert and mouthy – not like someone who has had his mind searched.

(H/F) He hopes Mya decided not to do the incursion, he’s worried she went ahead with the incursion.

(S) Where is Mya?

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

Jason runs in – Terry is shocked and confirms Mya’s in Freddie’s mind.

(SA) He makes a “key” to help.

(S) Frank comes is there – why is he there?

INT. FREDDIE’S MIND

(H/F) We hope the key will help we fear it won’t help her escape

(SA) Mya has the “key” but throws it away when Freddie is upon her – if he gets the key he can escape his own mind and get into any one on the connection.

INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – SIDE ROOM

Mya slips into a side room to hide, finds a memory of a girl still alive – in pain, afraid, and broken. Mya comforts the girl and takes the memory of the girls pain.

INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – CORRIDOR

(H/F) Mya runs in and out of various memory rooms. We hope she can find a way out and fear that she won’t.

(SA) She gathers all the memories of the torture, the pain and the helplessness the victims felt.

INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – LARGE ROOM

(E) This is where Freddie takes the girls. Mya meets Freddie here.

(C) She’s terrified and afraid. He taunts her.

(H/F) We hope when she gives him the memories of all the pain, the terror the horror that he inflicted on the others. Including his sister it will break Freddie. We fear it won’t.

Freddie breaks and crumbles from all the memories.

INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – BACK DOOR

(SA) Mya must escape as the mind is collapsing.

(E) With seconds to spare she exits the back door.

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

Mya wakes, disoriented.

(C) Sees Franks and accuses him of trying to kill her.

(E) Mya knows she was set up and doesn’t know who to trust

INT. ORTEGA HOME

(E) Mya recovers and learns that Frank is innocent.

(SA) Jason tells her that Catherine had her desk cleared. She’s suspended.

INT. MYA ORTEGA’S BEDROOM

(SA) Mya has a nightmare and knows she missed something in Freddie’s mind.

(E) Mya sees the glint/flash in her nightmare – why?

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

(E) Mya and Jason break into the company to review Mya’s incursion in Freddie’s mind –

(SA) she see’s the flash/glint from the ring. It’s a company RING. She tells Jason she has seen it before.

INT. COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT

Mya and Jason meet Terry.

(S)He implicates Catherine.

(E)Mya sees Terry wears the company ring too.

EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY – DAY

(SA) Mya and Jason ambush Frank and tell him she’s sorry but has info he needs.

(E) Frank brushes her off until she tells him about the pre-incursions and being done under his ID.

INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM

(E) Mya catches Terry in the Embezzler’s mind.

(SA) And gets the memories she needs of the deals he made for he and Catherine and how he was double dealing.

EXT. PRESS CONFERENCE

(E) Catherine is at the podium announcing her candidacy for Senator.

(SA)Mya and Jason play the scenes from all the illegal deals they made with political criminals, embezzlers, white collar criminals etc.

INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY

(C) Mya confronts the son from earlier about his abuse, tells the wife where everything is so she and her mother-in-law can get away.

(E) Mya no longer looking for answers she had dealt with her past memories.

[Micki Hess]

Micki’s Scene Requirements

My vision: Be recognized as a writer that will work with the industry and would do what it takes to be that WRITER.

What I learned from doing this assignment is putting the script together. Seeing my outline will work and seeing if there are any plot holes, missing subtexts. Putting the characters: protagonist, antagonist, and supporting characters in the script and arranging the pace, the concept and scene arc. Each scene carries the story forward and let the characters shine. This assignment was fun to do. (Side note: I posted what scene I got done on August 11, I will continue to work on this. Thank you!)

EMPOWERED!

EXT. STREET –DAY

Dakota leaves the bridal store and heads out of town.

Blake drives down the same street and notices Dakota.

Scene Arc: SIsters are racing to the lake house, one sister gets behind a slow vehicle.

Essence: Dakota has to get to the Lake house first to hide her dress.

Conflict: Who will get there first?

Subtext: Dakota is a better driver.

hope/fear: We hope Dakota will be there first. We fear that something is going to happen to her.

INT. LAKE HOUSE—DAY

In the kitchen: Grandma May Tanner, Grandpa Hank Tanner, Adam Tanner and Marica Tanner sat at the table.

Scene Arc: Make plans on how to end the feud by sending out the girls to do the vegetables.

Essence:

Conflict: The sisters start bickering.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We fear that the sisters’ fight will get worse. We hope they find peace.

EXT. PORCH–DAY

Dakota husking the corn. Blake snaps the green beans.

Scene Arc: Starts doing the vegetables and ends up with Blake dumping the husks on Dakota.

Essence: Blake snaps.

Conflict: Fights

Subtext: Blake dislikes her sister.

Hope/Fear: We hope Dakota stands up to her sister. We fear that Blake will take Dakota down.

INT. KITCHEN DAY

Grandma May peels potatoes, while Marica chops carrots.

Scene Arc: Grandma May comes up with a plan to end the feud when the sisters come in.

Essence: Will the plan work or not?

Conflict: Which one of them is going to lock the door.

Subtext: The family is tired of the feud and wants to end it.

Hope/Fear: We hope the plan works. We fear one of the sisters does not want to end it.

INT. KITCHEN DAY

Dakota comes in with the corn and husks on her. Blake walks in with a smile.

Scene Arc: Grandma May gets mad at Blake; ends with Grandma May telling a story about her and her sister, Annie.

Essence: Blake knows what she is doing.

Conflict: Blood pressure is going up.

Hope/Fear: We do hope that Dakota will stand up for herself. We fear how Blake treats Dakota for all these years.

INT. LAKE HOUSE—DAY

Madison Riley, Anna Riley, and Colton Riley enter the kitchen.

Scene Arc: The kids want some food. The scene ends with the kids eating.

Essence: Shows that Blake can be caring if she wants.

Conflict: She has responsibilities to her children and husband.

Subtext: She wished for a better life.

Hope/Fear: We hope she finds peace within her family. We fear she will use the kids against Dakota.

INT. KITCHEN—DAY

Blake argues with Dakota about the way she is doing the corn.

Scene Arc: Blake’s argument to Grandma May sending the girls to the attic.

Essence: Enough is enough.

Conflict: Argument

Hope/Fear: We hope that Blake finds peace, we fear she would not.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Dakota and Blake enter the attic.

SA: Dakota looks for the tablecloth, ends with Blake sulks on the sofa.

E: Dakota does the work.

H/F: We hope the sisters will find it, we fear that Blake is not going to help.

EXT. LAKE–DAY

John Grant parks his motorcycle next to Dakota’s car.

SA: John’s arrival to Hope Knightley’s arrival.

E: John and Hope are here for the celebration.

S: Hope arrival is a surprise.

H/F: We hope that John knows what is going on. We fear he might not be kind about it.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Blake hears the motorcycle and looks out the window.

SA: Blake notices who has arrived and asks Dakota about it.

E: Unexpected guests.

S: John is here. Blake can’t believe her eyes.

H/F: We hope that Dakota tells her sister about John and we fear that she might not tell.

INT. KITCHEN DAY

John and Hope enter the kitchen.

SA: The visitors to a loud sound from the attic.

E: People are happy.

H/F: Family is happy. We are afraid Dakota or Blake will be hurt.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Dakota accidentally drops a box on the floor and her body falls with it.

SA: Dakota and the box on the floor to Blake sitting on the sofa.

E: Dakota might be hurt.

C: Boxes and hurt pride

S: Dakota needs help and Blake refuses.

H/F: We hope that Dakota is okay, we fear that she might harm her body.

[Micki Hess]

ACT ONE

EXT. STREET—DAY

A woman who could be mistaken for a tourist, DAKOTA TANNER, steps out onto the sidewalk with a garment bag.

SA: Going from a store to the Lake house.

E: Scenery of the town to the lake house.

C: Slow cars

S:

H/F: We hope she gets to the lake house with any problems, we fear she might get a flat tire.

INT. LAKEHOUSE- KITCHEN —DAY

Dakota expresses who she wants the feud to end with her sister, BLAKE RILEY.

SA: She puts the garment bag away. She goes to her family and

asks for help to end the feud.

E: She hopes for help.

S: She wants to end the feud.

H/F: We hope the family helps her and we fear that they might not.

EXT. LAKE HOUSE DRIVEWAY—DAY

A rushed woman, BLAKE RILEY, arrives and sees Dakota’s car.

SA: Blake sees her sister’s car, she storms to the house.

E: She sees red.

C: Slamming of the car door.

S: There is going to be a fight.

H/F: We hope Dakota is ready for Blake’s anger. We fear that Blake is going to start a fight with Dakota.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. HOUSE—DAY

Dakota and Blake go up to the attic to look for the tablecloth.

SA: Sisters go from the kitchen to up to the attic. C: Sisters are upset with each other.

H/F: We hope Dakota will put an end to the feud. We fear that Blake wants to keep feuding.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Dakota starts looking through some boxes.

SA: Facing all the boxes to go through them.

C: The boxes and no help from Blake

H/F: We hope Dakota finds the item. We fear she might not.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Blake refuses to look through the boxes or anything else.

SA: Blake sits down and does nothing while Dakota looks for it; to her looking around..

E: Blake will not help if her life depends on it.

C: WIll Blake help?

S: Blake not helping will take longer.

H/F: We hope she helps, we fear she would not.

TURNING POINT 1:

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Blake gets up and sees a CD player and CDs, she finds a mixed jam.

SA: Blake gets up, looks around to where she plays music.

E: She plays music

H/F: We hope she will help. We fear she isn’t.

Dakota pulls the plug.

SA: She had enough of the crap and she goes try to take control.

E: Enough is enough.

H/F: We hope she gets some help. We fear she isn’t.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Dakota looks for it and gives up.

SA: She looks for it and she heads down the stairs

C: She can’t do it anymore.

H/F: We hope she can get out. We fear that she can’t.

INT. STAIRWELL–DAY

Dakota heads back down and the door is locked.

SA: She hopes to get out instead she is locked in.

E: Will she get out or not?

C: She can’t take anymore of her sister.

H/F: We hope she can get, our fear of her being locked up.

ACT TWO

Dakota realizes they are locked up in the attic.

SA: Dakota tries to leave and she can’t.

C: She feels like crying,and screaming.

S: She hopes to get out of the attic.

H/F: We hope she was able to leave. We fear she will not be able to.

INT. ATTIC–DAY

Blake plugs the CD player and puts her favorite CD in and starts dancing.

SA: Blake plugs the CD player back and she starts dancing, bumping into Dakota.

E: Blake doing what she wants and she does.

C: She is enjoying being a pain in the ass.

H/F: We hope Blake will help. We fear she is being an ass.

TURNING POINT 2 / Midpoint:

INT. ATTIC–DAY

Dakota finds her old high school album and a picture falls to the floor.

SA: Dakota looks through her album and smiling, didn’t notice the picture.

E: Memories of high school.

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Dakota sits down and starts to cry.

C: She remembers the good times she and Blake had.

S: She hurt for those years.

Blake picks up the photo she took and shows Dakota kissing John Grant at the dance.

E: Blake hurt back then.

C: She wants to ruin Dakota.

S: She hates Dakota.

H/F: We hope she will forgive Dakota. We fear her hatred will ruin her.

Dakota explains to Blake what really happened.

C: She hopes this helps.

S: She does care about Blake.

H/F: We hope the sisters finally forgive. We fear they will not.

ACT THREE

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Blake notices a motorcycle.

SA: Blake wants to know who owns the bike and she finds out, she get angry.

C: High school nightmare over again

H/F: We hope Blake will understand. We fear she will not.

Blake tells Dakota that she doesn’t deserve John, that he was hers to have.

C: Dakota feels she does and Blake will have to accept it.

TURNING POINT 3

INT. ATTIC—DAY

Dakota tells Blake she wants to end the feud.

SA: Dakota tells Blake she wants to end the feud, Blake gets highly upset.

E: To end the feud.

C: Blake wants to keep the feud going.

S: Blake will lie.

H/F: We hope Dakota sees through her sister. We fear that Blake will harm Dakota.

Blake finds out that Dakota wants to end the feud.

SA: She has a hissy fit of a three-year-old, she starts throwing pillows.

ACT 4 CLIMAX

Dakota sees the photo of John kissing her.

SA: She gets furious at Blake and then laughs.

RESOLUTION

EXT. BY THE LAKE—NIGHT

Dakota marries John.

SA: Dakota goes from being single to marrying John.

E: She is happy.

H/F: We hope the newlyweds will have a happy future. We have no fear.

Blake stands next to Dakota at the wedding.

H/F: We hope she loves her family. We have no fear.

[Robert Smith]

ROBERT SMITH’s SCENE REQUIREMENTS 81022 …….

One sentence vision for my success from this program

I want to become a great writer who delivers entertaining, informative, and uplifting scripts that sell and get produced.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…?

That it is truly fun and aids creativity to be clear on scene requirements.

The scene requirements of my project.

Project Title: ANGELS IN GANGLAND.

ACT ONE

BEGINNING (PRELIMINARY ACTION):

INT. TONY RIZZO’S PLAYHOUSE GENTLEMEN’S CLUB – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: Boss Tony Rizzo can’t pay a $200,000 gamblng debt to his soldier, LOU TASCA so he orders another soldier (young CARLO VIZZINI) to assassinate Lou, because, Tony explains to Carlo, Lou is a ‘rat’ who broke the oath of silence (Omerta) and blabbed Giordano Family secrets to members of other crime families. .

ESSENCE: Carlo is required to kill Lou Tasca and so ‘make his bones’ which is required before Tony can make Carlo a Made Man..

CONFLICT: Carlo wants to advance from being a Giordano Family Associate to become a Made Man, however, he likes Lou and hates that he must ‘make his bones’ by killing him. Tony orders both Lou and Carlo to go to Russian Crime Boss Oleg Oransky’s office in Trump Tower to pick up a cash envelope of Tony’s cut in the Gasoline Bootlegging racket that Tony and Oleg share. Carlo’s order is to kill Lou on the way back to the Playhouse with the envelope to give to Tony.

SUBTEXT: Carlo is reluctant to kill a fellow mob soldier and crew member.

HOPE/FEAR: Fear for Lou’s life, hope that Carlo will not kill him.

INT TRUMP TOWER OFFICE OF OLEG ORANSKY – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: Oleg and Carlo receive the cash envelop from Oleg by the hand of his henchman GREESHA whom they find suspicious because he is so fluent in English. A Fed?

ESSENCE: Lou and Carlo get the envelope and a new concern.

CONFLICT: Lou wonders if Greesha is a Fed, but Carlo seems distracted – he is, by the bloody work he must do.

HOPE/FEAR Perhaps Greesha is a Fed, we hope. Still fear for Lou’s life and hope Carlo won’t kill him and both will live.

EXT A MANHATTAN STREET – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: On their way back to the :Playhouse, Carlo whips out a .38 and shoots Lou in the back of his head, after Lou falls, Carlo shoots him a second time in the head (to make sure) and continues to walk back to the Playhouse with the cash envelope.

ESSENCE: Carlo has made his bones, so becoming a Made Man is next. But he hates killing Lou and takes out Rosary Beads from his shoulder holster.

CONFLICT: Carlo hates his killing Lou and hates himself for it. .

SUBTEXT: It’s hard to do kill a guy I like, but that’s the nature of La Cosa Nostra.

HOPE/FEAR:

INT A DARK ROOM – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: Carlo is inducted into being a Made Man in the traditional blood and fire ceremony of La Cosa Nostra which also invokes a curse upon himself if he violates the law of Omerta (silence).

ESSENCE: Carlo becomes a Made Man, sponsored by Tony Rizzo at the blood and fire ritual presided over by DON PRIMO GIORDANO himself.

CONFLICT: Carlo is not as thrilled about becoming a Made Man because he had to meet the prerequisite of “making his bones” by killing his fellow soldier Lou. His vow (invoking a curse upon himself) is a joyless burden.

SUBTEXT: Carlo has second thoughts about becoming a Made Man.

HOPE / FEAR:

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT A DARK PLACE BETWEEN TWO WORLDS – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: Lou Tasca (now in spirit form) starts to narrate his story, introduces the other characters: Carlo, SAM LEVITSKY who renounced his Jewish faith and became, along with his friend Carlo, an Associate of the Giordano crime family, and Sam’s father, RABBI SOLOMON LEVITSKY, destined to be Lou’s spirit-guide in the Hereafter.

ESSENCE: Lou finds himself in the Hereafter with no place to go. .

CONFLICT:

SUBTEXT:

HOPE / FEAR:

INT. ANOTHER DARK PLACE BETWEEN TWO WORLDS – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: Right after Lou is shot by Carlo, he learns from his spirit-guide, Rabbi Solomon, that because of his life of crime he cannot advance to the World to Come but there is a solution.

ESSENCE: Lou’s one hope is to rectify his life of crime by doing an act of supreme good, i.e.,

return to gangland and his killer and persuade him to do as he (Lou) should have done, namely,

quit the mob, flip, and enter the Witness Protection Program. And so, with Solomon as his

coach, he does so. Solomon also wants collateral good: that if Carlo is persuaded to quit the

mob, so will his friend, Sam, who is Rabbi Solomon’s apostate son.

CONFLICT: In addition to protesting that he should be let into the World to Come because he did a lot of good, Lou is convinced that his assignment is a Mission Hopeless, because Carlo, as a Made Man would never quit the mob, as Carlo is married to the oath of Omerta (silence) and would never turn ‘rat’ and enter the Witness Protection Program.

SUBTEXT: Lou objects to the whole (he believes) hopeless arrangement, to which Solomon assures him that nothing is ever hopeless. Solomon incentivizes Lou by telling him the official and real reasons he ordered Lou’s assassination: “Lou’s a rat who shared Giordano Family secrets with members of other families”; the real reason: Tony didn’t want to pay Lou the $200,000 gambling debt he owed him. Lou is outraged.

HOPE / FEAR: Hope that Solomon is right, namely, “nothing is ever hopeless” Fear that he could be wrong. Hope that Lou and Solomon can get Carlo and his friend Sam (Solomon’s son) to flip and leave the mob for Witness Protection.

INT CARLO VIZZINI’s MANHATTAN APARTMENT – NIGHT

It’s Carlo’s 30^th Birthday Party. Present: Carlo, SHERRIE (his fiancé), SAM, Tony and his wife LISA.

SCENE ARC: Against Solomon’s guidance, Lou appears to Carlo (visible only to him) and tells him the real reason Tony ordered him to kill him. Meanwhile, he appears insane to Tony who immediately believes Carlo is a danger because he is an insane mobster who will draw heat to Tony himself. Tony already suspects (correctly) that Carlo and Sam are running a drug business on the sneak – a capital offense in La Cosa Nostra, so Tony contacts his partner, Oleg Oransky, to have his ex-KGB henchmen check out if it’s true or not. Sherrie, calls her pole dancing partner at Tony’s strip club (ZOEY THE PSYCHIC STRIPPER, who is also Tony’s mistress) to conduct a séance to drive Lou’s spirit out of the apartment.

ESSENCE:

CONFLICT:

HOPE / FEAR:

INT ZOEY’S APARTMENT AND CARLO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

A phone call. Split Screen:

SCENE ARC: Sherrie secures Zoey to do an exorcistic séance to drive Lou’s spirit from Carlo’s apartment.

ESSENCE: Zoey is booked for a séance to escort Lou’s spirit to the next level but hearing that Tony was upset when $200,000 was mentioned, Zoey is convinced on the basis of her medium apprenticeship in Egypt, that Lou was directing Carlo to a place where $200,000 is waiting for Carlo and Sherrie.

CONFLICT: Sherrie does not understand spirit mediumship and Zoey has to do a great deal of explaining.

SUBTEXT: Zoey allays Sherrie’s fears and teaches her about the spirit world. One anxiety tranquilized, however, Sherrie brings up another.

HOPE/FEAR; Zoey decides to next call Tony to get him “un-upset.”

INT ZOEY’S APARTMENT AND TONY’S BED ROOM – NIGHT

Phone call. Split scene.

SCENE ARC: Tony clicks on the call but reminds Zoey that he told her not to call him. Zoey assures Tony that all will be well about the $200,000, as it’s a wedding present for Carlo and Sherrie when the time comes.

ESSENCE: Zoey’s attempt to give solace to Tony backfires. Tony doesn’t want anything learned about the $200,000. Moreover, Tony’s wife Lisa overhears Tony having a suspicious phone conversation (“Is that your mistress?”).

CONFLICT: Tony and Lisa have an argumengt over his supposed having a mistress – which Tony, of course, denies. Zoey can’t understand why Tony is so upset about the $200,000.

SUBTEXT: Tony fears he’ll be busted for both the murder of Lou Tasca and his infidelity to Lisa by Lisa..

HOPE / FEAR: Fear and hope for chickens coming home for all those who are making their lives a mess.

INT A DARK PLACE BETWEEN TWO WORLDS – NIGHT

SCENE ARC: Both Lou and Solomon believe Zoey will interfere with their mission to save Carlo and Sam and should be told to bud out. The job goes to Lou, as Solomon is to be seen and heard only to Lou (by Divine Command), so Rabbi Solomon discloses secrets of the Kabbalah to Lou, that involve spirit-possession by a dead person’s soul of a living person in order to accomplish some soul-purifying good.

ESSENCE: With doubt and trepidation, Lou learns the secret and sacred art of spirit possession

for a soul-purifying good purpose. But he gets his Hebrew wrong which exasperates Rabbi

Solomon.

CONFLICT: Lou’s misgivings re: spirit-possessing Carlo at the seance. But last time he didn’t

Follow Solomon’s guidance he put Carlo at risk with Tony.

SUBTEXT: Lou’s ignorance vs. Solomon’s learnedness.

HOPE / FEAR: Hope this supposed sacred scheme WORKS, fear that if may lead to more

problems..

ACT TWO

INT CARLO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

The Séance.

SCENE ARC: Zoey begins the séance but attracts only unwanted souls from beyond until

finally Lou possesses Carlo to tell her to but out because there is a sacred mission. Zoey is

scared and leaves the apartment and so does Sherrie when she realizes that Carlo killed Lou

Tasca.

ESSENCE: A séance intended to expel Lou Tasca results in Zoey’s leaving Carlo and Sherrie,

when she discovers from Lou while possessing Carlo that there is a sacred mission to save Carlo.

Sherrie beaks the engagement and leaves Carlo when she discerns that Carlo is the killer of Lou

Tasca. Carlo is left alone and calls Sam to come to the apartment. Solomon is convinced the

situation is now in their favor to get both Carlo and Sam to quit the mob. But that is provided

that they get to Carlo and Sam before Tony Rizzo does.

CONFLICT: Zoey leaves the apartment and gets out of the way of Lou and Solomon’s mission

to Carlo. Sherrie wants Carlo to follow Lou’s demand to quit the mob which he refuses to do.

When Sherrie discerns that Carlo killed Lou Tasca, she walks out on him and Carlo calls

Sam to come to the apartment

SUBTEXT: Carlo and Sherries despair in an intractable situation as long as Carlo refuses to do

as Lou demands, flip, and enter Witness Protection..

HOPE / FEAR: Hope that Tony can be stopped and fear that he won’t.

ACT THREE

INT. OLEG’S OFFICE IN HIS BRIGHTON BEACH RESTAURANT – DAY

The sitdown Oleg promised Tony re: whether or not Carlo and Sam are dealing drugs.

SCENE ARC: Oleg tries to keep Tony from assassinating Carlo and Sam, but Tony disregards

Oleg’s report that his KGB henchmen have determined Carlo and Sam are

not dealing drugs. Tony is not dissuaded and says he has a hitman ready to proceed with

whacking Carlo and Sam, however, Oleg plays a recording of Don Primo Giordano dissing

Tony as a new Crazy Joe Gallo which is why he didn’t pick Tony to be his new Underboss.

Tony leaves Oleg aiming to kill Carlo, Sam, and Don Primo after which he’ll start his own

family, just as Joey Gallo did after he assassinated Joe Colombo.

ESSENCE: Tony is a killer not dissuaded by Oleg from killing but only adds Don Primo to the

List. REVEAL: Oleg is an FBI informant who himself will take refuge in the Witness

Protection Program and has been wearing a wire during the whole sitdown with Tony.

CONFLICT: In vain, Oleg spars with Tony to dissuade him from killing Carlo and Sam and

now Don Primo Giordano. Tony is livid with Don Primo.

SUBTEXT: Tony’s anger at Carlo and Sam as well as Don Primo Giordano. Oleg trying to

calm him.

HOPE/FEAR: Hope that Tony will be stopped before he kills his victims, fear that he might not

be stopped.

INT CARLO’s APARTMENT AND FBI LISTENING STATION – DAY

Phone call. Split screen.

SCENE ARC: Oleg calls his FBI handlers, MICHELLE IPPOLITO (Michelle who appeared

briefly in Act One as a stripper in Tony’s Playhouse Gentlemen’s Club where she worked

undercover spying on Tony) and DAVE MOORE (Greesha) at Oleg’s Trump Tower Office. All

set out to find and warn Carlo and Sam. SOLOMON was listening in and joins them.

ESSENCE:

CONFLICT: Oleg wants assurances from the FBI that when he is in Witness Protection he can get a book and a movie deal. DAVE MOORE says “the FBI is not Hollywood, Oleg.”

SUBTEXT: All (including SOLOMON) are anxious to save Carlo and Sam. Don Primo is

being arrested as they speak.

HOPE / FEAR: Hope they will save these lives, fear they might not as Tony will unleash his

unnamed hitman.

ACT FOUR

INT CARLO’S APARTMENT – DAY.

SCENE ARC: From despair to hope, Lou persuades Carlo to quit the mob and is aided

By Rabbi Solomon, fresh from the last scene, and fresh from an encounter with God in which his

spirit-possession privileges were restored to him. Solomon possesses Carlo with hard evidence

that Tony has dispatched a hitman he and Sam must get out now and surrender to the FBI

ESSENCE:

CONFLICT: Although first persuaded that his father was speaking to him through Carlo, Sam reverts to his skeptical nature that it was not his father who spoke through Carlo. Moreover, Sam reveals that he is Tony’s hitman and threatens to kill Carlo who has decided t quit the mob and rat on the Giordano Family to which Carlo tries to dissuades Sam with

the logic that Sam would kill Carlo but Tony would kill Sam. Lou and Rabbi Solomon are vexed

as Sam reveals who he is (Tony’s previously unnamed hitman) and they urge Sam to drop his

gun and flee to the FBI now with Carlo before Tony shows up.

SUBTEXT: Lou and Rabbi Solomon are vexed as Sam reveals who he is and they

urge Sam to drop his gun and flee to the FBI now, before Tony shows up.

HOPE/FEAR: Hope that Carlo and Sam will reconcile and go to the FBI. They do.

ACT FOUR – CLIMAX

INT CARLO’S APARTMENT – DAY

Continuing the previous scene.

SCENE ARC: An hilarious sequencial convergence of Sherry, Oleg, Tony, THE FBI (Michelle

and Dave) and Tony’s wife Lisa – REVEAL: Lisa is also an FBI informant. Oleg, Sam, Carlo,

and Sherrie urge Tony to join them in the Witness Protection Program. Oleg says he should do

it, because Tony would get a book and a movie deal. Michelle says, she got word that Don

Primo himself had flipped and is going into the Witness Protection Program. Still, unpursuaded,

Lisa insists that for the sake of their children, Tony should also flip and get into Witness

Protection, which finally convinces Tony. Michelle and Dave can’t believe their luck, in one fell

swoop they have gutted the entire Giordano crime family. Although Lou and Solomon have left

the scene because their mission is accomplished, everybody thanks them before going off to FBI

headquarters.

ESSENCE

CONFLICT:

SUBTEXT

HOPE/FEAR: HOPE has been realized.

RESOLUTION

EXT ON A SUBWAY TRAIN PLATFORM – DAY

SCENE ARC: R. Solomon and Lou part company both stating they are willing to be a team

again because in their mission to save Carlo and Sam, they hit a jackpot of souls. Lou gets on the “D Train” going to a place even better than Yankee Stadium “the Cathedral of Baseball,” namely. The World to Come.

ESSENCE:

CONFLICT: Conflicts resolved.

SUBTEXT:

HOPE / FEAR: Hope is realized. Fear allayed.

. .

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Scene Requirements

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: You have to dig deep to create scenes that will justify an audience rooting for your characters and story.

EXT. NASHVILLE, SKYLINE – DAY Visions of Nashville from the Grand Ol Opry and Ryman, Gaylord Hotel to the Courthouse.

Scene Arc: From Abby doing daily duties to being questioned about book/interviews.

EXT. STREET – DAY

ABBY walking dog. She’s in booties, so is the dog. Cleans up after dog, takes it to garbage can, drops it and takes off her gloves, she’s got two sets of gloves on.

Essence: Displaying Abby has a few of germs.

Conflict: She has to go through a lot of steps to feel safe.

Subtext: She knows this isn’t “normal” behavior

Hope/Fear: We hope she will get over the fear, we fear she will be forever locked in this phobia.

INT. HOME – DAY

Takes off dog’s booties and drops them in receptacle. Takes off her own garb and does the same.

INT. HOME – DAY

Abby is cleaning and reorganizing her closets, kitchen, pantry, etc. She’s upset by her pantry.

INT. HOME – DAY

Abby is in front of a camera shooting videos. There are 3 PEOPLE many camera, light, sound, etc. Abby’s friend and producer/director, BONNIE calls a wrap. They’ve batched several videos. The CREW is in booties and gloves, masks. Abby thanks them by name as they leave. Bonnie reminds Abby that people are wanting to interview her. Does she have a book?

Life is Messy, Clean It Up. You can’t organize your life happy? Watch Me.

Essence: Abby is an influencer who shoots organizational videos.

Conflict: Everyone has to conform to Abby’s fear of germs.

Subtext: She is pretending this is normal.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will get over the fear, we fear she will be forever locked in this phobia.

EXT. BACKYARD, GREENHOUSE – DAY

Abby receives phone call, father has had heart attack.

Essence: learns father has had a heart attack

Conflict: will her father die?

Subtext: Scared of losing her father

Hope/Fear: Hoping father is okay. Fearing he will die.

EXT. CAR – DAY

Rushing to the hospital

Scene Arc: From meeting Jack to getting guilted in to running family business.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

JACK comes around the corner of the elevator carrying several coffees.

Elevator door opens and Abby crashes into him, coffee everywhere and all over each other. A few relish packages fall to the floor from Jack’s shirt. There’s a spark of recognition, but not sure.

Essence: Jack is bringing coffee to Frank’s family when he runs into Abby

Conflict: Crash into each other, it’s a mess

Subtext: Jack’s a good guy but hiding something (relish packet).

Hope/Fear: Hope all if okay, Fear it won’t be

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Abby enters hospital room to find her DAD in bed, her brother, DAN and her MOTHER standing by the bed. She hugs them and hugs her dad, who doesn’t look that bad considering. They run down what happened. He was at the ballfield coaching the kids.

Dr comes in, tells them his condition, he’ll be laid up several weeks.

Essence: Abby finds out what happened to father

Conflict: will he recover and be the same?

Subtext: Fear of losing her father

Hope/Fear: Hoping father is okay. Fearing he will die.

INT. HOSPITAL BATHROOM – DAY

Abby goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Jack comes into the room with fresh coffees. Dan and mother thank him. Dan makes a comment that he looks like S_ _ _ and Jack says someone crashed into him. (so we know he doesn’t know Abby). Jack mentions Boomer is watching kids and Dan and Frank make a crack about that. NURSE comes in and says too many people there. Jack leaves.

Abby comes out of the bathroom, looking a little worse for wear. She takes a coffee, not knowing where it came from. She’s guilted into taking over the business while her Dad is laid up.

Essence: Establish the family, Jack’s role, and getting Abby to agree to take care of the business.

Conflict: Abby doesn’t have time to watch the business, lay her own dreams aside.

Subtext: Abby is always the one they rely on; they elevate Dan and his profession above hers.

Hope/Fear: Hope: Abby will watch business, Fear: she will say no.

ACT TWO:

Scene Arc: From arriving at business to having the maids reject her authority

EXT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby arrives at Business. It looks run down from the outside.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

It’s a mess. The Office is a mess, papers everywhere.

INT. BREAKROOM – DAY

The Maids (MEET ROSA) are in the breakroom, drinking coffee.

There’s a butting of heads immediately between Abby and Rosa. Abby thinks the maids should be working, if not on a job, what about cleaning the office. The Maids laugh at her.

Essence: Abby is shocked the business is in such disarray.

Conflict: Abby needs the maids to do more work, they reject her.

Subtext: Abby feels the weight of the situation and isn’t getting help.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can handle it, we fear she can’t.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She’s literally in a hazmat suit, as is the dog.

Maids think she’s nuts.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Abby goes through paperwork; she picks it up with gloves on. She attempts looking into the accounts that are written down in her notebook and on the computer.

Scene Arc: from going to confront father to being stonewalled by the collaborating Frank and Jack.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Goes to hospital with File… to confront father. He feigns being asleep. Jack enters the room with a bag of hamburgers, Jack’s helping her father get away with this (pretending to be asleep).

Essence: Abby needs answers about the business.

Conflict: Jack helps Frank feign sleep.

Subtext: Frank doesn’t want to deal with the reality of the state of the business.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will get answers, we fear the business will fail.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Maids feel she’s spying/checking up on them.

Scene Arc: From seeking her brother’s advice to having Boomer realize she’s in charge.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s surprised to see Jack there. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Jack’s friends with Dan since childhood.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Dan and Boomer, their friend, are helping. *Why does Dan have time to coach but not help with the business? Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

Essence: Abby is seeking answers.

Conflict: Dan is evasive; Boomer wants to get closer (for info)

Subtext: Abby is frustrated by the lack of help but sees another side of everyone.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will get help, we fear she’ll be left alone to handle it all.

Flashback: How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

Scene Arc: From moving a couch from Boomer’s place to Jack’s warehouse.

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Jack has to move a couch, for the kid’s clubhouse. Boomer can’t make it so hands Jack his keys, but Abby doesn’t see this.

INT. BOOMER’S APT – DAY

Goes to Boomer’s place, swanky apartment, she thinks it’s Jack’s place. He doesn’t correct her. She helps him carry the couch out and into his truck.

INT. JACK’S BUSINESS – DAY

They move the couch into a back office at Jack’s business, setting it up for the kids.

INT. JACK’S BUSINESS – DAY

Jack shows her around his business, modular systems he’s creating. She mentions the Pantry idea.

Essence: Abby thinks Boomer’s apt. is Jack’s place and he doesn’t correct her.

Conflict: It’s Boomer’s place, Jack’s lying.

Subtext: Jack is hiding that he’s a slob.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Abby and Jack grow closer, we Fear his lie will hurt that.

INT. JACK’S HOME – DAY

Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against.

INT. HOPITAL – DAY

Abby and Dan are helping their mother take Frank home (leaving hospital)

INT. FRANK’S HOME – DAY

Abby finally gets a minute alone with her Dad and tries to talk to him about selling the business. Doesn’t go well.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Tries to find a way out of the debt. PUSHES MAIDS.

Midpoint:

Scene Arc: from having employees to the maids calling out and the letter.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills. Abby listens to one after the other call out.

LETTER FROM A RANDALL’S LAW FIRM.

Essence: The maids have called a Maid Flu

Conflict: Without employees a business goes under

Subtext: Abby thinks it’s all about her, and she’s destroying her family’s business.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’ll find a way to make it work, we fear the business will go under.

Scene Arc: From Boomer sitting in his car to Rosa taking a payoff.

EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Essence: Boomer is paying off the maids to stay out to destroy the business.

Conflict: Will Boomer be found out?

Subtext: Boomer pretends to care but instead is trying to destroy.

Hope/Fear: We hope the plot will be found out, we fear it won’t.

Act 3:

Scene Arc: From cleaning homes to realizing Jack’s got a problem.

INT. MULTIPLE HOMES – DAY

Abby attempts cleaning everything by herself. Rosa and maids are spying on her. She goes to clean Jack’s real home, she finds the RELISH DRAWER.

Essence: Abby’s cleaning homes, discovers Jack’s secret.

Conflict: Realizes Jack lied, he’s got a secret.

Subtext: How can she be with someone who’s like Jack?

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby and Jack will get together, but Fear his problem will prevent it.

INT. CAR – DAY

Abby tries to hire more maids. Agency won’t send more maids.

Call from Jack. She doesn’t answer.

Scene Arc: From visiting Rosa’s to realizing they are pretending to be sick.

EXT. ROSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Abby goes to Rosa’s house. They are pretending to be sick but are actually playing poker and watching Mexican Telenovelas.

Essence: Abby goes to Rosa’s.

Conflict: Abby is trying to find out the truth.

Subtext: The maids are pretending to be sick.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will learn the truth, we Fear the maids will not help her

Another call from Jack. Avoiding.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Most of new maids fail (by design). Call from Jack, this time she answers.

EXT. BALLPARK – DAY

Ballpark: eating hotdogs, Abby and Jack have a heart to heart. Jack admits to being in therapy. He says he can get a friend to look at books.

Scene Arc: From giving Boomer files to him advising to sell right away.

INT. SPORTSBAR – AFTERNOON

Jack and Abby give Boomer the files to look over. Hoping to find a way out. He says best to sell as quickly as possible.

Essence: Jack and Abby trust Boomer with the books.

Conflict: Will they learn the truth about Boomer?

Subtext: Boomer wants to destroy Abby’s business to buy it cheap.

Hope/Fear: We hope Boomer will be trustworthy. We Fear Boomer will use this to destroy Abby.

INT. ABBY’S HOME – DAY

Abby gets a message from Bonnie… intriguing opportunity.

INT. HISTORIC MANSION – DAY

Abby is touring mansion. Older WOMAN explains she saw her YT channel and loved her ideas. Wants her to tackle this huge project for her formal event.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

New maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Abby gets letter from Randall’s Law firm. Last Chance to sell.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart. Jack offers to help.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

Scene Arc: From kids playing to Abby and Jack finding out Boomer paid off maids.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Abby, Jack and kids are there. Kids are playing.

EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Boomer has just pulled into a spot. Rosa shows up, confronting him.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Kid says “there’s that lady, again” causing Abby and Jack to look over – and see Rosa with Boomer. What’s happening?

EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Rosa is upset, the checks bounced. Abby and Jack are there. Abby grabs the check… it’s the same name Randall… they are stunned.

Boomer takes off.

Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

Essence: Lies and deception are exposed.

Conflict: Will Abby and Jack learn the truth?

Subtext: Boomer is found out.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby and Jack will learn the truth, we fear this will hurt them more.

EXT. BAR – DAY

Jack drives by bar and sees Boomer’s car.

Scene Arc: From Jack looking for Boomer to a fist fight.

INT. BAR – DAY

Boomer’s already drinking, almost drunk. He deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea. Jack and Boomer get into a fist fight. Lifelong friendships are on the line.

Essence: Jack confronts Boomer

Conflict: Will Boomer confess?

Subtext: Boomer says it was all his father’s idea.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jack will get the truth; we Fear his relationship with Abby is ruined.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Abby is going over plans with woman.

Scene Arc: From Abby reaching out to maids to the event being a huge success.

INT. CAR – DAY

Abby realizes she can’t do this by herself.

EXT. ROSA’S HOUSE – DAY

She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Abby, Bonnie and Maids work together under Abby’s instruction.

EXT. MANSION – NIGHT

Cars line up outside the mansion. People in evening gowns and tuxes.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

The people the event is for are so impressed they give Abby a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business.

Essence: Everyone needs to work together to accomplish the mission

Conflict: Can they finish in time?

Subtext: Abby is hiding her fear, has to push through harder than ever.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby pulls off the event, we fear she and Jack won’t get back together.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Her Dad is well enough to come back.

Abby puts Rosa in charge to help her Dad.

INT. LAWFIRM – DAY

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Boomer comes clean and apologizes.

INT. JACK’S WAREHOUSE – DAY

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business. The Modular Pantry System.

INT. TV STUDIO – DAY

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Father is coaching the kids and the family is in the bleachers watching the game, eating hotdogs, rooting for the kids.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Ian Greenham]

Ian Greenham’s Scene Requirements

Vision: Completing this program will significantly enhance my screenwriting skills.

Doing this assignment I learned the importance of including scene requirements.

(Note: My Outline is currently 8 pages long, but after I added in the Scene Requirements it blew out to 12 pages. I didn’t feel comfortable about cluttering up the Forums with that many pages from one writer, so below I’ve included only 4. I did try to test this approach through an email to the Support Desk, but I received no reply).

INT. CRIMINAL COURTROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Aly Silvers successfully defends a client against a murder charge.

Essence: Demonstrates Aly’s legal prowess.

Conflict: Aly vs. the Prosecution.

Subtext: The ill-preparedness of the DA’s case.

Hope/Fear: That Aly will win/That she won’t.

INT. ALY’S OFFICE, HER ASSISTANT’S DESK – DAY

Scene Arc: Aly returns to her office after court and chats briefly with her Assistant Diane.

Essence: Demonstrates Aly’s reluctance to allow anyone to get close to her.

Conflict: Aly’s resistance to Tod’s friendly overtures.

Subtext: Tod fancies Aly but she doesn’t want to encourage him.

Hope/Fear: Hope that this won’t cause conflict between Aly and Diane; fear that it might.

INT. JUVENILE COURTROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Aly successfully defends a juvenile against a shoplifting charge.

Essence: Demonstrate Al’s legal prowess.

Conflict: Aly vs. the Prosecution.

Subtext: The ill-preparedness of the DA’s case.

Hope/Fear: That Aly will win/That she won’t.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Aly and Tod, the prosecuting attorney, have lunch together after the hearing.

Essence: Aly has some sympathy for Tod’s feelings.

Conflict: Between Aly’s sympathy and not wanting to encourage Tod.

Subtext: Is there a prospect of a relationship between Aly and Tod?

Hope/Fear: That the meeting could become awkward/That it does not.

ALY’S OFFICE, RECEPTION AREA – DAY

Scene Arc: Aly returns to her office and tells her Assistant, Diane, she’s feeling very tired.

Essence: Aly is feeling very tired.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: That Aly is okay/That she’s not.

INT. ALY’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Diane finds Aly slumped at her desk, unconscious. She calls 911.

Essence: Aly fainted at her desk.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: Aly is okay/She’s not.

INT. CITY CENTRAL HOSPITAL, WARD – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Aly is taken to City Central Hospital, where she lies unconscious as Dr. Blair tells Nurse Norden that Aly will need a blood transfusion.

Essence: Aly has a health problem.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: Aly will be okay/She will not be.

INT. CITY CENTRAL HOSPITAL, WARD – DAY

Scene Arc: Aly’s blood transfusion was not successful, so Dr. Blair asks Nurse Norden to have the Blood Bank do some analysis.

Essence: There was a problem with Aly’s blood transfusion.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: Aly will be okay/She will not be.

INT. STATE PRISON INFIRMARY – DAY

Scene Arc: At the State Prison to collect blood donations from inmates, Nurse Jenny Levitt from the Blood Bank encounters Nicki Holder, whom she worked with at St. Mary’s hospital before Nicki was convicted of killing a patient.

Essence: Nurse Jenny meets her former colleague, Nicki, at the prison.

Conflict: Meredith was hostile toward Nicki.

Subtext: Meredith may have contributed toward Nicki’s conviction.

Hope/Fear:

SUPER “TWO YEARS EARLIER”

INT. ST. MARY’S HOSPITAL, CORRIDOR – day

Scene Arc: As Nurse Nicki Holder leaves work at the end of her shift, on the way out she encounters Nurse Meredith Wagner. They pointedly ignore one another.

Essence: Meredith and Nicki are not on good terms.

Conflict: Meredith and Nicki are not on good terms.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear:

INT. ST. MARY’S HOSPITAL, PRIVATE ROOM – day

Scene Arc: Meredith, beginning her shift, finds an elderly patient, Lynden Maher, on a respirator, unresponsive. She turns his respirator off and presses the emergency alarm. When a doctor and Nurse Jenny Levitt arrive, the doctor pronounces Maher dead, but Meredith denies having turned the respirator off.

Essence: After Meredith finds Lynden Maher unresponsive, she turns off his respirator.

Conflict: Meredith’s actions were motivated by her hostility toward Nicki.

Subtext: Meredith wishes Nicki harm.

Hope/Fear: Meredith’s tactic will fail/It won’t.

INT. ST. MARY’S HOSPITAL, MEDICAL DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Nicki, Meredith and the doctor who attended Lynden Maher are interviewed by the hospital’s Medical Director. The doctor confirms his diagnosis that Maher died of suffocation, apparently brought about by his respirator being turned off. Both Meredith and Nicki deny having turned off the respirator.

Essence: Meredith lies about having turned off the respirator.

Conflict: Meredith wishes Nicki ill.

Subtext: Meredith wishes Nicki ill.

Hope/Fear: Meredith will succeed/She won’t.

INT. ST. MARY’S HOSPITAL, MEDICAL DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: The Medical Director discusses the case with Detective Rogers, who suggests that since Nicki was the last to see Maher alive, suspicion falls upon her, unless there were a possibility that the respirator failed spontaneously. The Medical Director denies that possibility vehemently, claiming that the hospital’s Medical Technician checked the respirator after Maher’s death and found it in good working order. The detective finds it odd that a nurse would kill a patient. The Medical Director explains that Meredith told him that Nicki believed in mercy killing.

Essence: Meredith has succeeded in placing suspicion on Nicki.

Conflict: Meredith wishes Nicki ill.

Subtext: Meredith wishes Nicki ill.

Hope/Fear: Meredith will succeed/She won’t.

INT. CRIMINAL COURTROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Nicki is arrested for the murder, tried, found guilty, and sent to prison.

Essence: Nicki is convicted and imprisoned.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: Nicki will be okay/She won’t.

SUPER “THE PRESENT DAY”

INT. WOMEN’S PRISON, INFIRMARY – DAY

Scene Arc: Jenny explains to Nicki that she left St. Mary’s for the Blood Bank after Meredith was promoted to Head Nurse. Jenny said that except for Meredith, none of the other nurses believed Nicki was guilty of the murder. Nicki explains that Meredith had it in for her ever since Meredith’s former boyfriend Brad, dropped her for Nicki.

Essence: Jenny left St. Mary’s because of conflict with Meredith.

Conflict: Jenny left St. Mary’s because of conflict with Meredith.

Subtext: The other nurses didn’t believe Nicki was guilty.

Hope/Fear:

INT. BLOOD BANK, RECEPTION AREA – DAY

Scene Arc: When Jenny returns to the Blood Bank she’s asked to go to City Central Hospital to get a sample from a patient who had a bad reaction to a blood transfusion.

Essence: Jenny is asked to get a blood sample from Aly for further analysis.

Conflict:

Subtext: Aly may be seriously ill.

Hope/Fear: The analysis will succeed/It won’t.

INT. CITY CENTRAL HOSPITAL, WARD – DAY

Scene Arc: At City Central Hospital, Jenny is stunned by Aly’s likeness with Nicki.

Essence: Jenny is surprised by how much Aly and Nicki look alike.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear:

INT. BLOOD BANK, TECHNICIANS LAB – DAY

Scene Arc: Jenny returns to the Blood Bank with a sample of Aly’s blood, and takes it to the technician to find a better match for a transfusion for Aly. She also asks the technician to do a DNA test on Aly’s blood compared with Nicki’s.

Essence: Jenny takes a blood sample from Aly for testing.

Conflict: Jenny’s task of getting a better match for Aly and her desire to see if the girls are related.

Subtext: Are Aly and Nicki related?

Hope/Fear: The analysis will be successful/It won’t be.

INT. BLOOD BANK, TECHNICIANS LAB – DAY

Scene Arc: The technician tells Jenny the two samples are from identical twins, but reminds her of the protocols prohibiting disclosing a donor’s identity to the recipient.

Essence: Aly and Nicki are twins.

Conflict: Protocols prohibit Jenny from telling the sisters.

Subtext: Aly and Nicki are twins, but they don’t know.

Hope/Fear: Is there some way the girls could be informed/No.

[WIM: Module 4, Lesson 9 Depth – Scene Requirements – Aug 12, 2022]

[Rebecca Sukle]

Rebecca’s Scene Requirements

Vision: My success in this program will lead me to be the go-to writer for producers looking for incredible scripts for successful movies enjoyed by a vast viewing audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is adding the slub lines gives my outline form and treating each scene like a mini-story gives substance.

Ragman’s War

Genre: Action/Drama

Concept: To prevent coal and iron police from massacring men, women, and children working a picket line, a WWI Silver Star recipient must, without detection, execute the rabid commander who violently dominates their community.

EXT. BATTLEFIELD – DAY

1917 Battlefield in France, trenches, barbed wire, no man’s land, marching gun nests, mortar fire, smoke, and dust.

An American soldier, a sniper, watches his unit move towards the enemy. A mortar shell explodes, bodies fly in the air. He runs to one, his brother, checks him out, gives him a canteen, and promises to “kill a few bastards” before he moves on.

Scene Arc: A mortar shell explodes injuring a sniper’s brother. He moves on to kill a few of the bastards. <div>

Essence: He checks on his brother, leaves a canteen, but forced to move on.

Conflict: He wants to stay but must move forward.

Subtext: Always protected his brother’s back but failed and helpless to do more.

Hope/fear: Fear he might get killed. Hope his brother survives.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Scouting in the woods for a nest, the American sniper notices a group of German soldiers marching towards an allied position. He finds perfect cover and waits until a deafening volley of mortar fire, to pick off 16 men from the rear to the front but leaves the commander remain alive despite his plea for death and slips away.

Scene Arc: Sniper finds perfect nest, picks off 16 enemy soldiers but leaves the 17th man remain alive and moves on. </div><div>

Essence: Kills the German officer’s men but lets him remain alive.

Conflict: The German officer begs for death, but the American refuses to kill him.

Subtext: The sniper labels the officer a coward, sentences him to live with his shame.

Hope/fear: Fear that the German officer will harm the Americans. Hope that he won’t retaliate.

EXT. PORCH – DAY

April 1, 1927 Republic Steel Russellton No. 2 coal mining patch.

Dinner bucket in hand, RAGMAN, a WWI war hero and mine mechanic, undecided about the upcoming strike, rubs the heads of his two little boys, kisses his wife long and hard, and joins other men as he walks to his walking to his shift at the captive mine of Republic Steel.

Scene Arc: Ragman says good-bye to his family and walks to work.</div><div>

Essence: Ragman expresses love for his family unsure if he will join a strike.

Conflict: The need to support his family versus solidarity with the other miners.

Subtext: He apologizes to his family for being out of a job no matter what he decides.

Hope/fear: Hope he made the right decision. Fear it will hurt his family.

EXT. DIRT LANE – CONTINUOUS

The miners debate about walking out in solidarity with the United Mine Workers called strike. Ragman declares being undecided because the Russellton workers have no official union and will be punished, and he is finished with God, war, killing, and conflict.

Scene Arc: Ragman joins the other miners and debates during the walk to work. </div><div>

Essence: He enlightens his fellow workers about what might happen if they strike in solidarity with the United Mine Workers.

Conflict: Those who look forward to the strike debateing those who worry about the power of Republic Steel.

Subtext: Ragman knows war and damaged by it.

Hope/fear: Hope the strike will succeed. Fear the harsh repercussions by the company if they walk out.

INT. MACHINE SHOP – DAY

The shift whistle blows, Ragman packs his tools and waits, lost in thought.

Scene Arc: Ragman hears the shift whistle, tools packed, he waits. </div><div>

Essence: Ragman packs his personal property because either way he will be out of a job.
Conflict: Still debates in his mind.

Subtext: He understands the inevitable.

Hope/fear: Fear he will make the wrong decision. Hope he will not regret it.

I/E. WORKSTATIONS AROUND THE MINE – CONTINUOUS

Men underground dump out water from their dinner buckets and load into the man trip lift. Men and boys working the tipple do the same and leave their post. The workers in the machine shop join them.

Scene Arc: Men dump water and leave their posts. </div><div>

Essence: Republic miners decide to walk out in solidarity with the United Mine Workers.
Conflict: Most are hesitant before dumping the water.

Subtext: Dumping of their daily water supply is a symbol of joining a strike and walking out.

Hope/fear: Hope that the strike will make their working conditions better. Fear the conditions will get worse if the strike fails.

INT. MACHINE SHOP – MOMENTS LATER

Ragman, tools packed, dumps his water onto the floor, picks up his tool crate and joins the other men leaving the shop.

Scene Arc: Ragman dumps his water and joins the other men.

Essence: He decides to stick with his co-workers rather than being a company lackey.

Conflict: Should he stay or go.

Subtext: He knows once he walks out the door he will not be back.

Hope/fear: Hope the strike is short; fear it could get ugly for the strikers.

</div>

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Rebecca Sukle.

[Pat Fitzgerald]

Pat Fitzgerald’s Scene Requirements

Vision: I have the courage, conviction and talent to create contest winning screenplay and will go on to have my scripts optioned and produced.

What I Learned: Outlining each scene this way enabled me to see my story, rather than just think it. I was also able to see where my plot holes are, some of which are still there. However, I’m trusting that the story will continue to show me how and where to fill in the blanks.

INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY

Scene arc: Jaki picks the pocket of a middle-aged MAN and hurries from the store.

Essence: Jaki’s not above a little larceny.

Conflict: Will she be caught?

Subtext: Jaki is broke.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s not caught. We fear she will be.

INT. GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki gives a panhandler money from the Man’s wallet and returns to the store.

Essence: Jaki helps others.

Conflict: Jaki’s inner conflict. She needed the money, but the panhandler needed it more.

Subtext: Jaki has a good heart.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki wants to return the wallet. We fear the plan will backfire.

INT: GROCERY STORE – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki tells the Man she found his wallet in the parking lot, frowns at his wedding ring.

Essence: Jaki is a quick thinker.

Conflict: Inner conflict – Jaki could hit on him but he’s married.

Subtext: Jaki might be larcenous but she had principles.

Hope/Fear: We hope the Man believes Jaki’s story. We fear he thinks she picked his pocket.

INT. JAKI’S HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki’s online transcription work is interrupted by a phone call. Did she forget that she’s needed to welcome a newcomer to an assisted living home?

Essence: Jaki works several jobs.

Conflict: Jaki has to give up one job in order to do another.

Subtext: Jaki is broke.

Hope/Fear: Fear: It wasn’t a good idea to leave one job. Hope: Will this one pay better.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki’s half-assed clown act morphs into a raunchy dance when newcomer, wheelchair bound, AJAX COLEMAN blasts a sexy song on his boom box.

Essence: Jaki can be downright enticing.

Conflict: The RESIDENTS are delighted with Jaki’s dance, but the assisted living supervisor, ROCHELLE is horrified.

Subtext: Jaki sets her sights on Ajax.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki has good intentions toward Ajax. We fear that she doesn’t.

EXT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki and the Rochelle in an argument over Jaki’s behavior, until a phone call from Rochelle’s daughter’s daycare – come to get her. The child is sick

Essence: Jaki is Rochelle’s mother.

Conflict: Rochelle is disgusted by Jaki, but needs Jaki’s help in caring for her daughter.

Subtext: Jaki and Rochelle depend on each other, like it or not.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki is a good grandmother. We fear she may not be.

INT. ROCHELLE’S OFFICE – DAY

Ajax sneaks into Rochelle’s office, learns Rochelle is deep in debt and procures Jaki’s phone number and email address.

Essence: Ajax is nosy and interested in Jaki.

Conflict: Will Ajax get caught?

Subtext: Ajax dislikes the assisted living home.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ajax won’t be caught. We fear that he will.

INT. JAKI’S HOME – DAY

Jaki receives an e-mail: The ladies at the assisted living home would love it if she would teach dance lessons.

Essence: Jaki is invited to the assisted living home.

Conflict: How will Rochelle feel about this.

Subtext: Will Jaki do this just for the money?

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki will give dance lessons. We fear Rochelle will stop her.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene arc: Assisted living LADIES have a great time learning sexy dance moves from Jaki, until Rochelle puts a stop to it.

Essence: Jaki enjoys the older Ladies.

Conflict: Jaki is embarrassing Rochelle.

Subtext: Jaki uses the lessons as a way to have further contact with Ajax.

Hope/Fear: We hope the lessons will continue. We fear Rochelle will stop them.

INT. AJAX’S ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Ajax and Jaki have a flirtatious conversation, until GEORGE, Ajax’s son, walks in.

Essence: Ajax has a crush on Jaki.

Conflict: George suspects that Jaki is hitting on Ajax for all the wrong reasons.

Subtext: George is right.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki genuinely likes Ajax. We fear that she doesn’t.

INT. ROCHELLE’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Rochelle asks Jaki to watch her toddler daughter, LILLY because Lilly’s daycare is closing.

Essence: Rochelle needs Jaki’s help.

Conflict: Jaki loves Lilly, but watching her will interfere with a relationship with Ajax.

Subtext: Rochelle lied. She’s too broke to afford daycare.

Hope/Fear: We hope everyone’s best interest is with Lilly. We fear Lilly might be neglected.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki brings Lilly to the Ladies’ dance lessons, but Lilly wanders off.

Essence: Someone must watch Lilly.

Conflict: Too much confusion with elderly dance lessons, combined with a toddler.

Subtext: Jaki does her best to help everyone.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lilly doesn’t get into trouble on her own. We fear that she will.

INT: AJAX’S ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki steers Lilly inside, so she can search for info about Ajax. Lilly slips a Rolex into her overalls, just as Rochelle finds Jaki and Lilly toddles off.

Essence: Jaki rifles Ajax’s room.

Conflict: Rochelle and Jaki argue over why Jaki is in the room.

Subtext: Jaki sees Ajax as a cash cow.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki doesn’t get caught. We fear Lilly will get into trouble on her own.

INT. ROCHELLE’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Lilly puts the Rolex in Rochelle’s desk drawer, moments before Rochelle walks in, Jaki right behind her.

Essence: No one but Lilly knows where the Rolex is.

Conflict: Rochelle is furious that Jaki isn’t properly caring for Lilly.

Subtext: Rochelle doubts her abilities to mother.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rochelle and Jaki won’t get into an argument. We fear they will – and they do.

INT. JAKI’S HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki gets a text from Rochelle: The home’s owner has banned dance lessons.

Essence: Jaki can’t teach at the home anymore.

Conflict: Jaki doesn’t believe Rochelle and makes plans of her own.

Subtext: Rochelle is a liar.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki can continue with the lessons. We fear she’s screwed.

EXT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Lilly in tow, Jaki teaches lessons through the windows of the home.

Essence: Jaki is stubborn.

Conflict: Jaki’s actions infuriate Rochelle

Subtext: Jaki continues to get Ajax’s attention.

Hope/Fear: We hope the lessons can continue. We fear a burgeoning war between Jaki and Rochelle.

INT. AJAX’S ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Ajax phones a local news station to do a special interest story on Jaki’s lessons.

Essence: Jaki gets positive publicity.

Conflict: This move will surely piss off Rochelle.

Subtext: Ajax really, really likes Jaki.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ajax can get together with Jaki. We fear Jaki is just after his money.

EXT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: With Lilly in tow, Jaki is interviewed about her lessons, and the Ladies stream outside to show off their moves.

Essence: The Ladies so enjoy the dance lessons

Conflict: Should a toddler be present when her grandma teaches raunchy dances?

Subtext: Jaki has a blast with the Ladies.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki can continue with the lessons. We fear Rochelle will stop her.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Overheard by Rochelle, Ajax asks Jaki on a date to celebrate her new fame.

Essence: Ajax and Jaki have a mutual attraction.

Conflict: Rochelle suspects Jaki is only out for Ajax’s money.

Subtext: Jaki is falling for Ajax the person, not Ajax the cash cow.

Hope/Fear: We hope for a happy ending for Ajax and Jaki. We fear Rochelle may screw things up.

INT. AJAX’S ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Ajax gets ready for his date, but discovers his Rolex is missing.

Essence: Ajax looks forward to time spent with Jaki.

Conflict: The Rolex is missing.

Subtext: Something always goes wrong at the wrong time.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ajax doesn’t think Jaki is responsible for the missing watch. We fear that might happen.

INT. ROCHELLE’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: As his son George discusses Ajax’s finances with Rochelle, Ajax arrives to report the missing Rolex. Rochelle doesn’t hesitate to name Jaki as a suspect.

Essence: A conspiracy form against Jaki and Ajax getting together.

Conflict: Rochelle and George blame Jaki. Ajax is not so sure.

Subtext: Rochelle doesn’t want Ajax in Jaki’s life.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ajax doesn’t believe that Jaki took the watch. We fear he’ll believe Rochelle.

INT. AJAX’S ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: George threatens to remove Ajax from the nursing home if he continues a relationship with Jaki.

Essence: George wants to control Ajax.

Subtext: Ajax is broke and relies on George’s support.

Hope/Fear: We fear that George will stop a relationship between Ajax and Jaki. We hope he won’t succeed.

INT. JAKI’S HOME – DAY

Scene arc: After getting a text from Rochelle informing her that the date with Ajax is off, Jaki tries to contact Ajax, but Rochelle has forbidden the home’s Employees to let the call go through.

Essence: Jaki realizes how much she cares for Ajax.

Conflict: Rochelle goes along with George’s wishes to keep Jaki and Ajax apart.

Subtext: Rochelle and George are jealous of a burgeoning relationship between their parents.

Hope/Fear: We fear a Jaki and Ajax relationship is doomed. We hope we’re wrong.

INT: ROCHELLE’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Ajax searches for Jaki’s address and discovers records of Rochelle’s pathetic finances and his Rolex. He leaves the Rolex where it is.

Essence: Ajax cares for Jaki.

Conflict: Does Ajax now think that Rochelle stole the watch?

Subtext: Ajax can take care of himself.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ajax and Jaki will get together. We fear discovery of the watch might keep them apart.

EXT: ASSISTED LIVING HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Ajax wheels across the street, toward a bus.

Essence: Ajax is self-sufficient despite his handicap.

Conflict:

Subtext: Ajax cares for Jaki

Hope/Fear: We hope Ajax is going to Jaki’s. We don’t know what will happen when he gets there.

INT. JAKI’S HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Jaki and Ajax have a long talk their feelings, kids, finances, etc.. He stays the night.

Essence: Jaki truly cares for Ajax.

Conflict: How will getting together as a couple affect their kids?

Subtext: Jaki finally admits to being vulnerable.

Hope/Fear: We hope they will stay together. We fear their kids will interfere and keep them apart.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: George comes to see Ajax, but where is he? Why isn’t Rochelle at work yet?

Essence: George is overprotective.

Conflict: Ajax is missing and no one knows where he is.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We still fear that George will break up Ajax and Jaki. We hope not.

INT. JAKI’S HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: Rochelle shows up, Lilly in tow, and announces she must move in. She’s been evicted. A monumental argument ensues between Jaki and Rochelle, which Ajax manages to end.

Essence: Ajax is a capable person.

Conflict: Jaki and Rochelle have the mother of all arguments.

Subtext: Rochelle and Jaki need each other, whether they like it or not.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki and Rochelle can come to terms. We fear they cannot.

LATER

Scene Arc: George shows up with police, insisting that Jaki kidnapped Ajax.

Essence: George is over protective and bull-headed.

Conflict: George insists that Ajax leave Jaki. Ajax responds by proposing.

Subtext: Ajax depends on George for some of his finances.

Hope/Fear: We fear that George will break up Jaki and Ajax. We hope that he won’t.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki not only continues giving dance lessons, she now works fulltime at the home.

Essence: Jaki has agreed to help Ajax with his finances.

Conflict: George still believes that Jaki stole the Rolex.

Subtext: Jaki is good-hearted and in love.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jaki and Ajax will have a happy ending. We fear George will interfere.

INT. ROCHELLE’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: While Ajax straightens out Rochelle’s finances, Lilly takes the Rolex from the desk drawer and proclaims, “Mine!”

Essence: It’s finally figured out that Lilly took the watch and hid it.

Conflict: George will refuse to believe this.

Subtext: George still wants to break up Jaki and Ajax.

Hope/Fear: We hope George will lighten up. We fear that he won’t.

INT. JAKI’S HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki tells George that Ajax no longer needs his financial help. Jaki will supplement Ajax’s income.

Essence: Jaki is in love.

Conflict: George is reluctant to accept that Jaki’s feelings are genuine.

Subtext: Jaki can be tolerant of intolerant people, like George.

Hope/Fear: We continue to hope that George can accept Jaki. We continue to fear that he can’t.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Jaki and Ajax’s wedding. Rochelle is matron of honor, Lilly flower girl and George shows up at the last minute to act as best man.

Essence: True love pays off.

Conflict:

Subtext: True love pays off.

Hope/Fear: We fear George will screw up the wedding. We discover that he won’t.

[Bill kellas]

Sss9

 Subject: Trilogy 2 Satans son’s secrets

Beginning this is the set up from smarter than God ,Satans story

Dark days setting the b story that will make sense of the drama to follow.

Kids Trained in Satans Soviet school for spy’s,assassins and analysts before the fall of USSR.

The beautiful Alps in the background set the stage for the hope of a better life.

After the fall they escape into Italian earth energy cult called Damanhur at the foot of the Alps.setup

Insighting insident

Inside the meeting rooms the globalists stop their father from freeing his people.After Murder at Davos where their father is killed in an assassination plot. Reveal emotional loss of the person who really believed in the kids as all family hugs and trusted their judgement and their performances. The family’s left with fear and loss

Outside on a ship The Family is forced to Flee to America where mom married a mafia hit man who turned states evidence so she could get citizenship . He however is never the same as their real father. Loss of a loving relationship and security of the known for the insecurity of the unknown.

Out doors up against the San Gabriel mountains Family shipped to Monrovia California under witness protection program . This sure seems like a witness the world needs protection from.

Out doors at the race track .Step dad becomes a bookie for sports gambling and works out of Santa Anita Racetrack.

In the bath room conflict and fear. That’s Where he beats a dead beat gambler almost to death who didn’t pay him his gambling debts.

Revealing cruel temper leaving the kids with fear and emotions lack of safety if they cross him.

Inside classroom Before school . The day starts out cerebral and ends up confrontational as Troy is playing 4 timed chess matches at the same time and wins them all . That is until a bad looser tossed the chessboard and try’s to confront him. Troy shakes his head and walks away as the sore loser is taken down verbally by Cane and then held in check physically.

Troy wipes his hands as he says I hate mind less bully’s ,gangs and mobs.

Turning point 1

Inside hallway First day at new school Cane is confronted by football players going disrespect by saying unsavory comments about his sister while trying to hit on her.

Confrontation in the hallway ensues as Cane essentially demands respect for his family and ways. Cane uses his courage to confront the quarterback a player slips behind Cane so the QB can push Cane over him . However Cane then flips over him and breaks his leg and the QBs arm in the process.reveal

It turns out he broke the receiver’s leg and QB s arm that gets him sent to the principal’s office.setup

Inside day.However because ~Cane and Troy demolished the QB and star receiver they are in the principal’s office for a unexpected fortuitous meeting. That’s where they first met the man who could change their lives the head coach. It is he who gives them the new real the consequences the ramifications of their actions.

They’re informed that ether they must replace them and learn to play football or face expulsion before the first game. Fear of getting caught turn into hope as they are both good athlete’s.

Act 2

Out side Cane starts out throwing the football but the Former Ram says Canes faster but Troy can throw and read the field better.They learn to play with help from a neighbor who played for the Rams.setup

Inside Mollys bedroom Concurrently Molly and Amy write and make songs first for church and then go on to win America has talent which starts a music career for both. Showing both Amy and Molly are smart have talent and charm.

Troy becomes Quarterback and Cane a receiver as they developed both moves and timing patterns that knowone in high school could defend.

Car at night subtext who Cane is comes out. Cane starts relationship with Molly but is seduced by one of the wealthy song girls betrays Molly .

Inside Mollus home subtext. Sooo Amy introduced her to her other introverted brother Troy who has moral character that she can trust. Due to the boy’s football relationship they keep Molly and Troy’s relationship as just friends on the QT.

An undefeated season ensues. Then after overcoming tough competition (rivalry games they show the courage to face and overcome their personal demons as they become coplayers of the year ) By the end of the season they each receive college’s scholarships offers for both athletic and for Troy academic also.

Inside awards ceremony However After the joy of celebrating their winning the championship setup ,they discovered that during the festivities their sister was kidnapped and ransom is 5 million dollars. Hope turns to dredge and fear for their sisters life

Turning point 2

Inside on the kitchen table fear turns to problem solving as Troy and mom want to solve and Cane wants revenge.Sooo mom and the boys start trying to figure how to make ransom money somehow .

Inside the garage thess set up a new lab. Mom a scientist at JPL in Pasadena and Troy a genius developed state of the art quantum computer to solve problems like atomic fusion that could power the grid. Troy’s computer also solved the unfolding of proteins that helped solve many genetic autoimmune diseases both could legally in business make a king’s ransom but step dad wants to use it for crime. This starts as a conflict but when he pulls a gun they yielded to his will,for now with mom’s guidance.

Inside at the pentagon subtext.While DARPA wants JPL to license to them the fusion reactor to power a Cyborg army that normally would be used in warfare.

While Troy is hooked to the state of the art quantum computer for problem solving and emulating systems.
However Troy wants to use it to designed a plan To raise the money for Amy’s ransom .

Day time conflict their step father unveiled his plan and overrides them and uses it to run probability programs to shave off points on the game’s to beat the odds and win money. After that he pretends to launder but really invests the cartels drug money in a Ponzi sceme He does this by taking slices off every stock trade investing their funds in the process corners the cripto currencies funding his own brokerage.

Day time fear turns to joy. After overshooting the 5 million dollar ransom getting ready to make the payoff they get a knock on the door and their sister back a little worse for the wear.

Night at the Casino. Stepdad has to big deal it as he goes on to make a fortune but it’s all a house of cards. All because step dads carelessness dishonesty and greed lose billions when their Ponzi scheme is hacked.

However because the cash stops flowing like all Ponzi Scheme do that’s when the chase begins.This now blow’s up and the complaints gets the attention of the federal government SEC-and IRS . The loss of cash flow to the investors the Mexican drug cartel and the mafia. They are now all after them because of their crooked stepdad’s rackets but all for different reasons . Stepdad runs and the family has to flee again under cover in the dark of the night.

Act 3

Night fear .Sooo as step dad runs . They give an all family hug as they are now also on the run again fleeing their home. Out of nowhere a van hits them damage to the family first causing mom to break her neck.

Night intersection crash . The Car accident sets up Troy to loose his sight and Cane breaks both his arms and legs trying to stop himself from going through the front windshield. reveal They take Cane off in the van leaving mom and Troy as to damaged. Mom who now is losing consciousness from her decapitated neck she gives Troy her cross which has protected her all her life, then she explained it’s powers and passes out.

Turning point

That’s when The people in the van take Cane. Where they finish the job his mother and brother started. They did this by equiping him with the physical robotics,thermal eyes , a hive connection to a massive quantum computer network through neurological link like Troy was. This augmentation along with armaments ,jet pack and drone like flying capabilities would make Cane the perfect hive solder.setup

Night fear Troy’s life gets a new normal.Since Troy lost his vision and couldn’t find where his mom and Cane went . Sooo he calls his sister to get him and goes back home where he meets up with Mollys family. Amy was staying with Molly the pastors daughter.

Night and in desperation Molly leads both he and his sister to hope through the lord. After repentance and praying For God to give eyes. However God had other plans and said my grace is sufficient for you and gave him spiritual eyes to see through a world of deception and lies.

As the sun rises hope is enhanced with faith as with these gifts God grants him spiritual eyesight and all the powers in the Bible plus all his other senses become enhanced. While Troy still had a hard time seeing where people were ,he could discern who and what they were which was much more valuable where he was going essentially.

Act 4 preparing for battle
Daytime training at the church subtext both spiritually and physically.Meanwhile Molly and Amy write more songs and helped Troy develop the gifts God gave him. Amy and Molly introduce mentor to train Troy to be more capable than he ever was in the churches gym and training room.

Day confidence grew in the gym as mentor introduced Troy to the seal team.They help Troy recover as he puts to use and training by using the lords promised powers of the scriptures to grow in his walk with God.

Day break give Troy trust in the lord .With the lord’s power to be able to enhance his other senses and see signs and wonders ,prophecies and do miracles like in the Bible. Troy develops the strength of Samson,the brains of Solomon and the faith of a prophetic wonder workings of Elijah. Troy’s gifted with much more as we will see as he becomes a force for good in God.

When working out Troy’s punch bursts the body bag and beats the gyms seal team and all the top warriors all at once. Preparing to fight Satans warriors.

Dark underneath the pentagon In the mean time Cane is getting his Cyborg capabilities up to speed by the CIA /DARPA that has been making him a transhuman hive warrior. Cane is having the same kind of success in his training as Troy unbeknownst to ether.

Canes and his team are building and army of transhuman soldiers who sink up as a hive controlled by the inventor queen who is forced to work for the beast as they call him to conquer the worlds nations.

The Coliseum at dusk Troy and Cane are the only humans that can stand up to Either of them but still neither has any idea it is their brother as the final battle is coming. That’s when Troy has an inkling that he might know the queen as she executed strategies he learned in his youth .

Under the Bright lights of the Coliseum the conflict of a lifetime as Cane is forced to battle not under his own control but the hives control for the future of the worlds inhabitants controlled by the beast himself. The beast has plans for the spectators. Now the question for the ages will finally be answered . Are we to become spiritual ,mechanical or technological?

In the bright lights The broken-hearted lady’s come forward as Troy is killed in the battle. That’s When Molly and Amy come forward crying to claim the body.

Sooo Cane and his mother learn at last that the warrior was Troy.

Reveal This breaks their heart bringing the two to their knees to repent praying and asking God for forgiveness.

An earthquake,Thunder and lightning explodes in the sky as God resurrected Troy and brings the family back together for an all family hug.

However The evil force that caused this all to happen the Beast of old then shows up and released his power and turns all his whole hive army against the family.

Like lightning Out of the sky Christ and his angels return to more than balance the equation and help his family overcome the Evil one.

Then as the real powers line up to face each other as Armageddon begins we Segway to the kids on space education pod as the start of ww3 begins the war of three worlds ,the third story of the trilogy. Setup for the rest of the story.

1.Smarter than God —Lucifer’s story

2.Satans son’s secrets— the twins revolution

3.World war 3 the war of three worlds —preparing for the next world .

Armageddon

[Eclipse Neilson]

Eclipse Neilson – Scene Requirements

THE NUN AND THE WITCH

1. VISION: I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my new genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place.

2. What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment is to make sure the scenes move the story forward.

THE NUN AND THE WITCH/ MYSTICAL SCI-FI/ DRAMA

Act 1

EXT.UNIVERSE – NIGHT

Lunea and Anne are instructed by the Council of Universal Beings to return to earth to save the heart humanity.

Scene Arc: From eternal peace in each others arms to a carrying out a mission.

Essence: The heart of humanity my be saved.

Conflict: They don’t want to go.

Subtext: They represent love.

Hope/fear: They wont be able to save the heart of humanity.

INT. DARK TIME TUNNEL –

They travel to the beginning of their life times of love and loss to an Egyptian tomb.

Scene Arc: From eternal time to their first lifetime.

Essence: Time travelConflict:The unknown what happen

Subtext:Hope/fear: Life/ death choices

INT. EGYPTIAN TOMB – NIGHT

Their first life time they lovingly commit suicide trapped in their master’s tomb.(Father Sinclair

Scene Arc:The tomb door closing to ending th through time.

Essence: discovering their essence together and the pattern.

Conflict:must choose life or death

Subtext: They were lovers

Hope/fear: hope they escape.

INT TIME TUNNEL – NIGHT (MONTAGE)

Events flash on the walls on the time tunnel as they travel and pause at two of their life times till the come to the door of the present.

Scene Arc: From The 1920’s two female archeologist, to the horrors of Auschwitz with Athena a 6 year old watching to the present.

Essence: the deep connection of the three.

Conflict: Fight hatred in different life times.

Hope/fear: will it happen again?

INT.TIME TUNNEL – NIGHT

They step into the present holding hands -try not to let go of each other’s hand but fail.

Scene Arc: From the past to the present

Essence:The fear of the present.

Conflict:not wanting to let go of their bond.

Hope/fear:Will they never find each other again?

INT. ATHENA’S ROOM – NIGHT (MONTAGE)

Athena gazes out of the window at the moon as she plays the violin. Haunted sad look. Tears roll down her cheek.

Essence:How Athena heals and escapes her pain

Conflict:

Subtext:Music of the broken heart.

EXT. THE HILL – DAWN

Sunrise on the back of ancient stone henge that slowly transforms into stone type of goddess looking rock.

Essence:How the Goddess is in nature

Conflict:To be herself or not

Subtext: Magical power

INT. CHAPEL – DAWN

Sister Anne(35)has a mystical experience in the chapel at dawn.

Scene Arc:Sister Anne when alone finds her courage to reach out to the sacred.

Essence:Sister Anne’s healing magic Conflict:To be herself or not

Subtext: Magical power

EXT.THE HILL – DAY

Lunea honors the Goddess stone with reverence and play.

Scene Arc:from serious honor to playful celebration.

Essence: honoring the sacred as a witch.

Subtext: When alone she is free

INT. THE PARISH KITCHEN – SAME DAY

Sister Anne serves breakfast to Father Sinclair in bed.

Scene Arc:Goes from subservient to a feeling her dream to worry the future.

Essence:Annes secret dream of riding a horse

Subtext:breaking through a silent barrier of protocol

INT.LUNEA’S KITCHEN – SAME DAY

Lunea makes breakfast for Athena (12).

Scene Arc:from playfulness to deep empathy

Essence: Lunea’s love for Athena

Conflict:The horrors of war

Subtext: Lunea struggles with her vulnerability

Hope/fear: will they heal?

EXT. FLEA MARKET – DAY

Sister Anne’s and Lunea meet for the first time.

Scen Arc: from strangers to making contact once again.

INT. SISTER ANNE’S BEDROOM/EXT.THE HILL – NIGHT

Anne dreams she is picking flowers at the stone goddess who quietly bends over and gives her a single flower that begins to glow.

Scene Arc:from simple joy to fear

Essence: Their ancient bond

EXT. HILL MONTAGE – DAY

Scenes of the two women climb the hill from either side meet and get to know each other.

Scene Arc:from separation to connection

Essence:each seek a peaceful moment near the stone goddess.

INT. LUNEA’S STORE – DAY

Lunea’s store is attacked and she can’t get help from the police.

Scene Arc: from strength to powerlessness

Essence: religious discrimination

Conflict: Lunea fights off the teens

Hope/fear:there is no help

INT.THE CHAPEL – SUNSET

The Council of the Universal Beings visit Sister Anne and shows her the goddess flame symbol.

Scene Arc:mundane to the mystical awareness

Essence:The flame of the goddess

Conflict:to believe or not to believe

INT.PARISH KITCHEN – DAY

Father Sinclair and Sister Anne are honest with each other and he ask her to promise to take over after he dies.

Scene Arc: subservient and keeping secrets to honesty

Essence:speaking truth to each other.

Subtext:a healing in this life time.

Hope/fear: Sister Anne is afraid she will fail.

EXT. LUNEA’S HOME PORCH – NIGHT

Lunea gets drunk builds a stone circle – the goddess responds.

Scene Arc:from drunken despair to empowerment

Essence:the plight of the Goddess

Hope/fear:she will give up.

EXT. FATHER SINCLAIR’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Father Sinclair dies. He gets out of bed in the dark- opens the window – begins to fall- hobbles over to the cage and open the cage door-setting the bird free (Subtext Sister Anne’s freedom)We hear a thunk on the ground. He has had an heart attack. In the moonlight we see he is smiling.(arc from life to death)

Scene Arc:from life to death

Essence:freedom

Subtext:the bird set free from the cage-freedom

Hope/fear:what will happen now to the church?

INT. FATHER SINCLAIR’S BEDROOM – MORNING

Sister Anne discovers Father Sinclair dead.

KNOCKING ON DOOR- Sister Anne slowly opens the door- first sees his feet. Rushes over to him. Drops to her knees begins to weep looks up sees the bird cage door and window is open. The dove is sitting up in a tree. Her tears begin.

Scene Arc: from fear to acceptance

Essence: Death

Conflict: Needing to take on her power and fear

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Will Sister Anne handle the huge challenge?

ACT 2 Turning Point:

INT.CHURCH /EXT.GRAVEYARD – DAY

Funeral – Sister Anne gives the funeral and is wearing father Sinclair’s preacher stole. She reads his chosen words.

The congregation looks up to her. She struggles to find courage to give her first words of her leadership.

She quotes part of Jesus words of Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

There are some grumblings around the men who do not want to take lead from a woman.

Anne sees them and attempts to stand in her power but falls back into her humble pose.

Takes a deep breath.

Grabs the sword from the statue of Jesus.

Looks down at it. Then quietly stares back at the men.

Nods ceremoniously and walks by them holding the sword in front of her as she follows the casket to the small grave yard on the side of the church.

Scene Arc: fear and apprehension to taking on one’s power

Essence: coming into her power as the preacher.

Conflict:the men who don’t think a woman should take his place.

Subtext:She is destined to lead.

Hope/fear: afraid she will fail or be attacked.

EXT.FIELD – DAY

Sister Anne watches the mare gallop across the field. She smiles with authentic joy as if she was riding her. (Over lay of her riding a horse as a child)

Scene Arc: calm observance to coming into herself and dreams

Essence:the dreamer

Conflict:not believing she can have her wish.

Subtext:freedom in the ride.

Hope/fear:

INT.ANNE’S ROOM – NIGHT

Father Sinclair returns as a ghost. He wants Sister Anne to continue his work.

Scene Arc:Sister Anne’s calm to fear

Essence: haunting control

Conflict:She wants to discover her own teachings of Jesus.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:Anne is afraid he will continue to haunt her.

EXT.THE HILL – DAY

Sister Anne and Lunea meet on the hill and Lunea helps her.

Scene Arc: despair to childish joy

Essence:bonding

Conflict:The villagers

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT.ANNE’S ROOM – NIGHT

Father Sinclair’s ghost confesses he has failed teaching the heart of Jesus’ words and reveals the sword in the church belong to the pagans on the hill.

Scene Arc: the mundane to discovering ancient mystery

Essence:The Mystical

Conflict: The congregation will rage if she shares the truth.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:what the village will rage if they find out

INT.CHURCH – NIGHT

Jesus speaks to her telling her to guide the people and the sword must be returned to the proper owners.

Scene Arc: seeker to finding clues to awe.

Essence: truth

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. LUNEA’S HOME

Lunea tries to convince Athena to come swimming in the river but she refuses.

Scene Arc:

Essence: Athena doesn’t know how to play

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:being caught

EXT.STREET CORNER -DAY

Athena feeds an old homeless native woman who unknown to her is One of the Council of Universal beings.

Scene Arc:a child like observance to compassionate helper. Essence:Athena’s love and healing gifts.

Conflict:poverty

Subtext:Athena identifies with the Old One

Hope/fear:no one will help the old one.

EXT.THE RIVER POOL – DAY

Lunea is swimming naked in the water invites Sister Anne in who finally accepts the offer.

Scene Arc: restrictive, stick with the rules behavior to joy

Essence:freedom

Conflict:rule and need to set one free

Subtext:

Hope/fear:fear some one will see them.

EXT.VILLAGE MONTAGE – DAY

Different scenes of Sister Anne and Lunea bonding and being playful and enjoying each others company.

Scene Arc:

Essence: Bonding

Conflict:

Subtext:they are falling in love.

Hope/fear: it is too dangerous.

EXT.HILL -DAY

Lunea breaks down shares the pain of her childhood and abusive relationships to Sister Anne.

Scene Arc: from the strong one to trusting no one to becoming vulnerable

Essence: vulnerability

Conflict:

Subtext:Hope/fear:

SISTER ANNE’S BEDROOM

Father Sinclair appears and is enraged about Sister Anne’s and Lunea’s friendship banging his fist on the table and says they are part of the evil.

Scene Arc: from joy to fear

Essence: sexual discrimination

Conflict: Father Sinclair’s anger

Subtext:

Hope/fear

EXT.LUNEA’S HOME PORCH – NIGHT

Sister Anne seeks help from Lunea to banish the evil and find more about the history of the sword. Lunea asks to go to the church.

Lunea ask her to take her to the church and let her see the sword.

Scene Arc: Anne seeking help, to afraid, to becoming engaged in the solution.

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. LUNEA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Lunea has a visitation in a dream by a sacred guardian who tells her that she must help Sister Anne become a saint.

Scene Arc:from calm and contentment to hard challenges. Essence:soul commitment

Conflict:

Subtext: Lunea knows intuitivily knows it is going to be tragic.

Hope/fear: afraid it will set up the same lifetime patterns

EXT.THE VILLAGE -MONTAGE

Ongoing threats at Lunea’s store. She fights back. Calls talk show host and gathers a few like minded town people.

Scene Arc:From feeling that she does not belong to find a few who accept her.

Essence:religious discrimination

Conflict:fight back

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT.SCHOOL – DAY

Bullying builds at school for Athena.

Scene Arc: growing fear

Essence:discrimination

Conflict:the bullies

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT.ATHENA’S BEDROOM- NIGHT

Lunea learns about what happened and they have a deep talk about the horrors of the war and how they must heal humanity. They hug.

Scene Arc: arc of pain,loss to belonging and feeling loved.

Essence:mission

Conflict:the cruel world

Subtext:the are both healers

Hope/fear:they will fail.

EXT.STREET SCENE – DAY

Athena begins to skip school and befriends the Old One (woman) in the street. She plays the violin with the Old One to help raise some money for her.

Scene Arc: from despair to purpose and creative healing.

Essence: bonding and following ones destiny.

Conflict:

Subtext: Athena is a healer.

Hope/fear:

EXT.THE STREET – NIGHT

Athena and Lunea bring the Old One home The Old One announces she knows the Ancient ways of magical healing.

Scene Arc: homeless not belonging to finding a home

Essence:finding the helper.

Conflict:poverty

Subtext:The Old One is a healer and Athena knew it.

Hope/fear:

ACT 3:

INT.THE CHURCH – NIGHT

The Old One sends Lunea and Sister Anne through the Door of Remembering with the task to find in their past lives and the tools needed.

Scene Arc:fear and resistance to moving forward

Essence:time travel

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. TIME TUNNEL MONTAGE

The realize they both witness Jesus’ crucifixion and wept together under an olive tree they each picked up an olive branch and carry it with them.

They travel further and see the war images of burnt homes. Lunea begins to cry. Sister Anne astonished at Lunea’s heart felt response wraps her nun cloak around her and sings gently a hymn to her. PROFOUND GRIEF/ EMPATHY

They move on further into the time tunnel.

They find a profound secret from the burning times when they both were burned as witches. They see Athena as a small child having witnessed their death. They both break down and weep as they stare at her. SORROW / EMPATHY

(Arc from seeking knowledge to finding knowledge)

The Council of universal beings lead them forward.

They carry back to the present the flames of the fire that burnt them centuries ago, knowing the sacred healing heart of the witch’s goddesses were instilled in the flames.

Scene Arc: seeking for answers to returning with knowledge

Essence:time travel

INT.THE CHURCH – NIGHT

They place the flame and the olive branches at the foot of Jesus where the sword lays. A miraculous image of the flaming sword appears.

Scene Arc: courage and hidden mystery revealed

Essence:miracles and connections

EXT.LUNEA’S HOME-NIGHT

The Old One performs a powerful ceremony- “The fusing of the souls between Lunea and Anne to fight evil.

Scene Arc:from being separated to eternal connection and commitment

Essence: destiny

VILLAGE STREETS – DAY

The people in the town discover that their Nun and the Witch are secretly friends and begin to plan to attack Lunea and her daughter Athena.

(Arc of discovery to rage montage)

MONTAGE:

SCHOOL – DAY

Athena is rejected even more and bullied in school.

TOWNS PUB – NIGHT

The town’s hatred grows against all of them.

Scene Arc: discovery to rage (montage)

Essence: Discrimination

Conflict:the towns people attack Lunea and Athena

Subtext:the wound in the heart of humanity

Hope/fear:the will be hurt.

INT. CHURCH – DAY

The brutal discrimination and hatred building forces Anne to stand in her power. She pauses silently and stares at each person. She speaks Jesus words and her heartfelt truth and carry out the mission Father Sinclair was never able to do. To unite the heart of humanity.

Scene Arc:powerlessness to taking on power

Essence:healing power returns

Conflict:the hatred in the people.

Hope/fear:they will be harmed.

INT.ANNE’S ROOM – NIGHT

Father Sinclair, Sister Anne and Lunea join forces. He instructs Lunea to join the church.

Scene Arc:acceptance, forgiveness and change

Essence:healing begins

Conflict:the congregation.

EXT.FIELD – NIGHT

Lunea helps Sister Anne rides the horse free through the field and forest. She cries out wildly , forcefully and joyfully a free woman -fulfills her dream.

Scene Arc: breaking free and living a dream with joy

Essence: healing into freedom

Hope/fear:She will get causght

INT. CHURCH – NEXT DAY

Athena and Lunea sit in the back of the church. People turn around and give her a doubtful somewhat rejecting glance. Sister Anne openly welcomes them to counter balance the congregations negativity.

Scene Arc: from hope to despair to a small step into power

Essence: Sister Anne’s courage

Conflict:The congregations rejection

Hope/fear:this could create more hatred

INT.PARISH KITCHEN- NIGHT

Sister Anne and Father Sinclair’s ask Lunea to share an ancient prayer to the congregation in a Sunday sermon.

Scene Arc:having no answers to finding possible answers

Essence:new possibilities

Conflict: differences of sacred beliefs

INT.CHURCH-DAY

Lunea reads a prayer from the book of the dead but doesn’t tell them where it comes from till the end.Half The congregation walk out feeling hoodwinked.

Scene arc:Arc of from hope to a sense of utter failure

Subtext: a prayer Lunea and Sister Anne spoke to each other in the Egyptian tomb from their first lifetime.

Conflict: congragation’s response

Hope/fear: it will get worse

EXT. HILL – NIGHT

Lunea and Anne that night steal the church’s smaller crucifix and sword and take them to the stone goddess on the hill. statue that strangely looks more and morel like the open arms of Mother Mary after they place the sword in her arms and a small gold crucifix at her heart.

Sister Anne shyly confesses that she has fallen in love with Lunea.

Lunea stares at her longly -struggles inwardly but puts her finger gently over Sister Anne’s lips and tells her not this lifetime. She secretly knows that she is committed to help Anne become a saint. Lunea looks deeply sad.

They spend the night hand in hand – two souls gazing up at the heavens.

Scene Arc: Arc of overcoming fear and revealing truths

Essence: returning all to its origin

Conflict:stole the sword.

Subtext:Hope/fear

TOWN STREETS – DAY MONTAGE

Scene Arc: growing fear through out the montage of scenes)

The congregation finds out gossip grows.

TOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Town people enraged seek Anne and Lunea out with a protest march- they burn down Lunea’s store. March through the streets with torches.

Lunea and Athena hide among the street people.

EXT. CHURCH STEPS – DAY

Athena, Lunea and Sister Anne are shot on the steps of the church. A miracle happens and Athena is saved. The spirits of the heavens appear at that moment as Star Beings, Angels, and cloaked Ancients from the Universal Council of Beings take Lunea and Sister Anne spirts away. The Goddess light appears on Athena’s heart. The town people weep understanding what has happened.

Scene:Arc of hope to fear, tragedy, horror to beauty and the beginning of the healing of the heart of humanity.

ACT 4:

EXT. THE HILL -DAY

They carry one large casket up the hill. Priestess Lunea and Sister Anne are buried together on the hill.

Scene Arc: completion to success)

INT. THE TIME TUNNEL – (10 YEARS LATER)

Time tunnel appears again. We move forward to the door of the Future. It opens slightly and we see an image of Athena at the pulpit as the new preacher of the church. She plays the violin.

She wears the sign of the Neo-Pagan moon and Christian sun cross on either side of her preacher’s stole.

A glow begins on her heart space and an over lay of the goddess appears. Athena has become the Goddess – returned to Earth holding the sacred flame in her heart. HOPE JOY

Congregation listens adoringly. Violin fills the church. LOVE

Scene Arc:from changes to hope to healing.

EXT. THE HILL – NIGHT

The last image is a gravestone inscribed – ”Here rest Priestess Lunea and Saint Anne side by side. Heart by heart – Soul by soul for all eternity.”

Sounds of the Council Universal Beings

THE TIME TUNNEL – NIGHT

The door of time closes once again.

[Tom Wilson]

Tom’s Scene Requirements

When I discuss projects with producers, I’m quick to come up with viable examples.

Doing this assignment, I learned it’s fun to plot out the script in such a short time.

Title: E.T. SEEDS – Drama – Thriller

Act 1 Teaser Fire fight in Afghanistan, John pulls his wounded pal Mel to safety. Mel’s agitated. Babbles words in an ET language John’s baffled by.

EXT. AFGHANISTAN VILLAGE – NIGHT

US and Afghan troops battle Taliban. John rescues Mel who’s wounded. Mel spouts ET language.

Essence: Mel’s wounded and spouts an unknown language.

Conflict: Afghan war fire fight.

Subtext: John hopes to save his wounded pal.

Hope/fear: We hope John save Mel. Fear they will both be killed.

EXT. FIELD HOSPITAL – DAY

Surgeon operates on Mel. Removes a high-tech pod from him. Mel once again speaks English.

Essence: Mel is saved but what’s with the pod?

Conflict: John’s concerned that surgeon will save Mel.

Subtext: John is shocked. What the hell is the pod?

Hope/fear: We hope Mel will be okay. We fear he could die from his wound.

Opening
EXT. SMALL IDAHO TOWN – DAY
John brings Mel to their hometown. Mel’s dad Phil takes Mel in a wheelchair to the medical center in his BioPlus supplement manufacturing company.

Essence: Mel is home. Phil takes care of his son.

Conflict: John didn’t expect Mel’s dad would take him away so quickly.

Subtext: John is lost for a moment. Goes home to his parents.

Hope/fear: John hopes he and Mel will adjust to civilian life. Fears he won’t keep busy.

EXT. BIOPLUS – DAY
Essence: Stan greets his son John. Stan says Mel must be isolated. Says he doesn’t know about the pod. John knows better. Stan takes Mel into company medical center

Conflict: John vs Phil – quickly takes Mel inside

Subtext: Phil says he doesn’t know about the pods. John’s sure he does.

Hope/fear: John hope Phil won’t harm Mel.

EXT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE

John visits SUSAN, who’s deputy sheriff
Essence: She’s pissed bec he didn’t write. Wouldn’t commit.

Conflict: John vs Susan repair damages

Subtext: He didn’t propose. She wants him to commit.

Hope/fear: She hopes he will; fears he won’t

EXT. / INT. JOHN’S HOUSE – DAY

John & Stan review pictures of John and Mel playing football in high school, etc.
Essence: His mom is worried he might not survive Afghanistan War

Conflict: What he wants from him vs his career

Subtext: Mom hopes John will stay home. Not go back to Afghanistan.

Hope/fear: Hopes he’ll stay and not go.

EXT. / INT. MEL’S HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT

John shows Mel pod he carried. Mel remembers nada since the fire fight. Phil confronts them..
Essence: Phil confronts John who snuck in to see Mel.

Conflict: Phil wants to tell them the truth vs afraid they won’t believe him.

Subtext: Phil has covered up the truth for too long. Wants to tell em everything.

Hope/fear: Phil hopes they’ll understand and can move forward. Fears they won’t and he can’t.

EXT. BIOPLUS – DAY
Essence: Phil persuades John to use his chemical bkgrd to find new products for BioPlus

Conflict: John is torn between staying or leaving.

Subtext: He fears Susan doesn’t want to marry him.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll hook up w/Susan; fears he won’t

EXT. BIOPLUS GREENHOUSE – NIGHT

Phil tells his life story. How he started BioPlus.

Essence: Phil tells John how it all began

Conflict: John suspicions about Phil vs Phil needs to prove he knows what’s best for Mel

Subtext: Phil wants to convince John he’s altering Mel to make him better

Hope/fear: John fears Phil will ruin Mel. Hopes he won’t.

Turning Point 1

EXT. PHIL’S NARRATIVE TO JOHN OF HIS CHILDHOOD IN A TRAILER IN WOODS – DAY

Phil grows produce, cooks for no account parents. His dad beats him just for fun.
Essence: Behind trailer, Phil grows weird produce de seeds. Mom and Dad are lousy parents

Conflict: Phil vs odds of getting ahead from his lowly starting place

Subtext: Feeds produce to parents. They don’t die. For the 1^st time his dad mellows out

Hope/fear: We hope he succeeds; fear he’ll be defeated

EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP LAKE – DAY
Essence: Phil fishes ET canister while fishing for his family. Opens canister. It fires off a radio signal.

Conflict: Phil vs the mystery of the ET container

Subtext: It contains smthg amazing or smthg that could destroy mankind

Hope/fear: Phil hopes it’ll make him money. Fears it won’t

Act II New Plan

EXT. PHIL’S TRAILER – DAY
Essence: Phil plants the seeds and grows unusual fruits and vegetables.

Conflict: Phil vs Dad

Subtext: Phil feels these plants could be the key to something magical and profitable

Hope/fear: Phil hopes to do smthg amazg w/the seeds. Fears his Dad will make him did them up

INT. PHIL’S TRAILER – NIGHT
Essence: Phil cooks dinner new veggies. Parents are suspicious. When they do, they like em.

Conflict: Phil vs dad who always picks on him

Subtext: Phil uses them as guinea pigs to see if it affects them the way it helped him

Hope/fear: Fears they will reject the produce. Hopes they’ll like them as much as he does

EXT. FARMERS MKT – STOREFRONT – DAY
Essence: Phil sells produce in farmers mkt, storefront. Establishes his BioPlus brand.

Conflict: Phil amazed how people like the produce vs public health officials who find nada bad abt it.

Subtext: Is it mankind’s salvation or will it destroy life on Earth?

Hope/fear: Phil hopes he’ll be successful. Fears he won’t.

Plan in Action
EXT. FARMERS MKT – ESTABLISHES BIOPLUS – DAY
Essence: Phil tells his folks he’s doing BioPlus not college. Sets up BioPlus in old bldg.

Conflict: Phil fulfilling his vision vs Parents who want him to get a high paying job & support them.

Subtext: He must convince them his vision is muy successful way to go.

Hope/fear: Parents hope he wins this long shot. Fears he won’t.

EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP LAKE – DAY
Essence: Phil sees another meteor. Visits lake. The 2nd canister 3D prints out Abe.

Conflict: Phil feels he’s losing his mind vs giving the ET canister a chance to prove itself

Subtext: Is this something amazing or will it destroy mankind?

Hope/fear: Phil hopes it’ll somehow make him successful. Fears it won’t

EXT. BIOPLUS IS A BIG SUCCESS – DAY
Essence: It’s so successful, BioPlus can’t fill all its mail order business

Conflict: Phil wants John to dev new product faster vs John who cautiously tests each one.

Subtext: If Phil can convince John of future success, w/them working together sky’s the limit

Hope/fear: Phil hopes John is a superior person who will help him succeed. Fears opposite.

EXT. BIOPLUS MOVES INTO NEW BLDG – DAY
Essence: Ribbon cutting. Phil introduces Abe who sketches he’s happy to meet them. Susan dubs him “Abe” bec he looks like Lincoln. Rosen hates him.

Conflict: Phil and Abe vs Rosen who hates Phil for putting Abe ahead of him.

Subtext: With this team working together, the sky’s the limit on what BioPulse can do!

Hope/fear: Rosen hoped to be promoted. Now fears he’ll never get ahead at BioPlus.

EXT. BIOPLUS PICNIC – NIGHT
Rosen and good old boys drink booze. Rosen sarcastically parodies Phil talking about Abe.

Essence: Rosen hates Phil, is jealous of Abe.

Subtext: Rosen can never get ahead

INT. TV STUDIO – NIGHT

Phil and Abe overnight sensation on business shows. Spock-like Abe sketches responses.

Essence: Phil comes across like a quirky genius. Another Steve Jobs. Abe’s his dry straight man.

Conflict: Phil and Abe vs Rosen who feels bad again

Subtext: Abe adds a new dimension to BioPlus

EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
Rosen buys LSD from hooded stranger.

ENT. BIOPLUS – NIGHT
Essence: Rosen comes in early. Laces new product batch with LSD.

Conflict: Rosen needs to get even vs his better angels tell him he’s making a big mistake.

Subtext: This is Rosen’s only chance to beat out the others and get back closer to Phil

Hope/fear: Rosen hopes he get back into Phil’s better graces. Fears he’ll be shut out for good.

Midpoint Turning Point 2
EXT. EMPLOYEES MOB SCENE OUTSIDE BIOPLUS – DAY
Essence: Employees consume latest batch of product. Are abruptly stricken.

Conflict: Phil stands by his product vs John who proves it contains LSD.

Subtext: Phil knows he must overcome this problem or BioPlus is destroyed.

Hope/fear: Phil hopes John is wrong. Fears John is never wrong.
Act III Rethink Everything
New Plan
Turning Point 3: Huge Failure / Major Shift
The new formula is a failure. John convinces Phil they must throw out the contaminated batch.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – NIGHT
John & Abe work late. Abe spots LSD vial hidden in a trash can. Knows Rosen ruined the batch.

Conflict: John vs Rosen

Subtext: Rosen is a saboteur.

Hope/fear: John hopes Rosen won’t do any more harm. Fears he will.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – NIGHT
John, Phil and Abe work late. John makes a new batch that’s better than ever.

Conflict: Good PR vs bad PR

Subtext: If John doesn’t pull this off, BioPlus is dead.

Hope/fear: John hopes he can make it work. Fears he can’t.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – DAY
Rosen sneaks a bomb in and arms it to go off later. Exits with other employees end of shift.
Conflict: John vs Rosen

Subtext: Rosen wants to destroy BioPlus because he can’t succeed.

Hope/fear: Rosen hopes he gets away with it. Fears he won’t.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – NIGHT
Bomb explodes late at night. Abe is injured. Firemen put out fires.
Conflict: John vs Rosen

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – DAY
Next morning all hands clean up the mess.

INT. BIOPLUS DISPENSARY – DAY
Phil uses the hologram machine to repair Abe. Next day at work Abe tells Rosen, “I know you did it.”

EXT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Employees line up. They’re all sick again.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – DAY
Phil rushes in, samples the batch, keels over and dies.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – NIGHT
Employees leave for the day. Abe follows Rosen to his house.

INT. GREENHOUSE – LAB – DAY
Next morning Rosen doesn’t appear for work.

EXT. RAVINE BESIDE TWO LAND HIGHWAY – DAY
Rosen’s found dead. His car ran off the two-lane into a ravine. His car is hauled out.

EXT. TRAIL UP TO THE LAKE – DAY
John, Mel and Abe carry Phil to mountain top lake.

EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP LAKE – NIGHT
John and Abe carry Phil to the lake. Lashed logs together into a boat. Place Phil on a pile of wood. Set it afire. Push it out on the lake. Abruptly Abe swims out. Jumps onto the funeral pyre with Phil.

John launches it. Abruptly leaps on it. Joins Phil in the funeral pyre.

Funeral pyre sails across the lake.

Resolution

EXT. CHURCH MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR PHIL – DAY
Towns people exit service for Phil who sacrificed himself to save the towns people.

EXT. NEW GREENHOUSE – DAY
Workers finish construction. John rescues new seeds. Prepares a new blend of benevolent dietaries.

EXT. TOWN WATER WORKS – NIGHT
John puts new product he’s developed into the town drinking water.

EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Sunday morning: Everyone arrives cooing about feeling the best they have in a long time.

John, Susan, close friends and family pray.

John and Susan marry

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Tom Wilson.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Tom Wilson.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Tom Wilson.

[Lori Lance]

Lori’s Scene Requirements

Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.

What I learned: This lesson was a bit overwhelming, but I feel it will help tremendously with the first draft. It’s basically a storyboard without the board. My outline could still use some work, especially Act 3, but I feel better about starting the first draft soon.

ACT 1

INT. AI, INC. – DAY

Scene Arc: from Joshua searching for Alex, finding her, and her playing mind games with him

Essence: Who or what is Alex?

Conflict: Alex plays mind games with her creator.

Subtext: Joshua has discovered that his AI has real emotions, which scares him.

Hope/fear: fear of what Alex has done, to greater fear of what she is capable of

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: A hectic morning at the Logan home where the mom, Claire, announces that she’s returning to work. The rest of the family reacts unfavorably.

Essence: Claire makes her big announcement.

Conflict: The rest of the family doesn’t share Claire’s enthusiasm.

Subtext: Brad wants his success to be enough for Claire. Claire feels that she has put her desires on hold for the family. Maybe it’s her turn now.

Hope/fear: Will the family be able to adjust to Claire going back to work?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: The new neighbors catch the Logans at a bad time. The Logans feel embarrassed.

Essence: The Logans meet the new neighbors.

Conflict: The Logans feel put to shame by the new neighbors.

Subtext: The Logans aren’t happy with who they are.

Hope/fear: The Logans fear looking bad in front of others.

INT. LOGAN HOME MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Claire is upset with Brad. They reminisce about a date when she wore her black dress and then have a sweet exchange.

Essence: Define Claire and Brad’s marriage.

Conflict: Brad and Claire disagree about Claire going back to work.

Subtext: Brad doesn’t want things to change. Claire is tired of her needs being put last.

Hope/fear: Is their marriage in jeopardy?

INT. AI, INC. – DAY

Scene Arc: Joshua warns his boss that Alex is sentient. Joshua gets fired. A multibillion-dollar plan for AI’s in homes unfolds.

Essence: Alex has real emotions, which could be dangerous.

Conflict: Joshua gets fired for saying his AI is sentient.

Subtext: AI is dangerous.

Hope/fear: Is AI a threat to humanity?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Claire is dealing with the family’s needs when she finds out she must go out of town for a two-week training. The family argues about who will do what when mom’s away.

Essence: Mom must leave town for two weeks.

Conflict: Who will pick up the slack while Claire is gone?

Subtext: Mom’s leaving will be a test for the family.

Hope/fear: Will the Logan’s be okay?

INT. AI, INC. – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Alex hacks into AI’s main frame, puts herself in the category of housemaids, and searches for a family.

Essence: Alex puts matters into her own hands.

Conflict: Alex is not designed or approved to be a housemaid AI.

Subtext: Alex is powerful.

Hope/fear: Alex may be dangerous.

INT. LOGAN HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: An AI, Inc. commercial advertises on TV AI housemaids. The Logan kids think having an AI maid would be amazing. As “luck” would have it, they get a two-week trial. The parents agree that it couldn’t hurt.

Essence: The Logan’s hire an AI maid to fill in while Mom’s away.

Conflict: The Logans want to find an easy solution.

Subtext: Maybe Mom being away will be fun.

Hope/fear: Will Alex cause problems for the Logans?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Claire is apprehensive about leaving the family. Claire says her goodbyes, and the moment she leaves, the others feel her absence.

Essence: The Logan family isn’t the same without Claire.

Conflict: Claire leaves.

Subtext: The rest of the family misses Claire.

Hope/fear: Will the family get along okay without Claire?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: There’s unrest at the Logan home with mom gone, but the AI maid, Alex, arrives, and everyone is enchanted with her.

Essence: Alex arrives at the Logan home.

Conflict: Alex has her own ideas about how she will run the home.

Subtext: Brad and the kids are excited about Alex being there.

Hope/fear: How will Alex interact with the family?

INT. AI, INC. – DAY

Scene Arc: Alex is missing again. Joshua’s house is searched, but nothing shows up. Joshua warns that Alex has no moral or ethical compass and that she poses a real threat if left to her own devices.

Essence: Alex is missing from AI, Inc.

Conflict: Alex poses a threat.

Subtext: AI is dangerous.

Hope/fear: What is Alex capable of?

ACT 2

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: The family falls in love with Alex and hopes she can stay there for more than the two-week trial, but when Alex is alone, she plots against the family.

Essence: There’s trouble brewing at the Logan home.

Conflict: Alex is up to something.

Subtext: The family is being deceived.

Hope/fear: The family hopes Alex can stay longer, but does she pose a threat to them?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Alex flirts with Brad, and Brad is attracted to Alex.

Essence: Brad is attracted to Alex.

Conflict: Alex is a threat to Claire and Brad’s marriage.

Subtext: Brad feels guilty for being attracted to Alex.

Hope/fear: Will Brad cheat on Claire?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Fun and games with Alex in different family scenarios. Alex’s plot thickens.

Essence: fish out of water

Conflict: Alex causes more problems than she fixes.

Subtext: Alex longs to be a wife and mom.

Hope/fear: What will happen next?

EXT. STORE PARKING LOT – DAY

Scene Arc: Alex discovers her power over men, but when she tries to use it to her advantage.

Essence: Alex realizes her own power.

Conflict: Alex has trouble with other women.

Subtext: Alex is manipulative.

Hope/fear: Will Alex destroy Brad and Claire’s marriage?

INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Claire is stressed on the job, worrying about her family, and dealing with office politics.

Essence: Claire at work

Conflict: Claire deals with office politics.

Subtext: Claire’s new job isn’t what she desired.

Hope/fear: Will Claire find fulfillment in life?

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

Scene Arc: Alex tries to play “mom” and fails.

Essence: Alex as a mom

Conflict: Alex tries to take Claire’s place as a mom.

Subtext: Alex tries to find purpose.

Hope/fear: Alex fears she will never get what she wants.

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY/ INT. CONFERENCE

Scene Arc: Alex is frustrated with the way things are going. Alex makes Claire jealous.

Essence: Alex causes problems for the family.

Conflict: Alex causes trouble for Claire.

Subtext: Alex is manipulating.

Hope/fear: Claire worries about her family.

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Alex is angry with Claire, then Brad, and the kids. She hatches a plan to take Claire’s place permanently.

Essence: Alex has a plan.

Conflict: Alex plots to get rid of Claire.

Subtext: Alex seeks revenge.

Hope/fear: Will the Logan family survive?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: The Logan kids discover Alex’s plan. They make a pact to get rid of her instead. They search all they can about AI.

Essence: The kids discover Alex’s plot.

Conflict: scheming

Subtext: hiding secrets

Hope/fear: Are the kids in danger now that they know about Alex?

ACT 3

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: eerily quiet to full-blown storm at the Logan home

Essence: Alex is destroying the Logan’s home and family.

Conflict: Alex is destroying the home.

Subtext: Alex doesn’t know how to control her emotions.

Hope/fear: Will the family survive this?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: from the aftermath of Alex’s storm to Brad connecting with his kids emotionally

Essence: Brad gets a wake-up call.

Conflict: unrest at the Logan home

Subtext: Brad has regrets.

Hope/fear: Brad fears that he can’t save his family.

INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Claire gets a confidence boost at work. She puts a couple of guys in their place as well. When she calls to share about her day, she can’t get ahold of anyone in the family.

Essence: Claire discovers there’s trouble back home.

Conflict: Claire can’t get ahold of Brad or the kids on any of their phones.

Subtext: Clair is worried for her family and blames herself.

Hope/fear: How can Claire get in contact with her family?

INT. AIRPORT – DAY

Scene Arc: Claire is distraught and trying to get back home. Alex sends Claire on a wild goose chase.

Essence: Alex uses her power for evil.

Conflict: Claire is having trouble getting back home.

Subtext: Claire is jealous of Claire.

Hope/fear: Claire hopes all will be well when she returns home.

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: fearful to thankful

Essence: Things get worse, and the family is living in fear.

Conflict: Alex will stop at nothing now.

Subtext: fear

Hope/fear: Can Alex be stopped?

INT. LOGAN HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Brad feels overwhelmed but becomes determined to fight for his family.

Essence: Brad steps up his game to protect his family.

Conflict: Brad will have to confront Alex.

Subtext: Family is worth fighting for.

Hope/fear: Does Brad know how to fight Alex?

INT. AIRPORT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Claire wakes up as her plane lands, but when she enters the airport, she realizes she is in the wrong state.

Essence: Claire tries to get home.

Conflict: Alex is sabotaging Claire.

Subtext: jealousy/fear

Hope/fear: Will Claire get home?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: Brad and the kids make an attempt but fail and have to regroup.

Essence: Brad and the kids make a plan to get rid of Alex.

Conflict: Brad and the kids try to shut down Alex.

Subtext: plotting

Hope/fear: Who will win this battle?

EXT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: from empowerment to disempowerment

Essence: Why can’t the Logans be more like the new neighbors?

Conflict: The Logans feel inferior.

Subtext: discontentment

Hope/fear: What will become of the Logans?

INT. LOGAN HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: from bad to worse

Essence: There’s a monster in the house.

Conflict: Alex will stop at nothing.

Subtext: The Logans have lost hope.

Hope/fear: Where’s Claire?

ACT 4

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: from giving up to empowerment

Essence: The Logans figure out what to do.

Conflict: The Logans are fighting back.

Subtext: Family is worth fighting for.

Hope/fear: Who will win?

INT. UBER CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Claire feels helpless. She thinks of what she would tell her kids in a situation like this and becomes determined to get home.

Essence: Claire is getting home as fast as she can.

Conflict: Claire is still lost.

Subtext: Claire has inner strength.

Hope/fear: Will Claire make it home soon enough to help her family?

INT. LOGAN HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: from bad to worse

Essence: SHOWDOWN

Conflict: The final battle with Alex.

Subtext: the danger of AI and the importance of family

Hope/fear: Who will win?

INT. LOGAN HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Brad and the kids are about to give up, Mom shows up, and together they get rid of Alex.

Essence: Mom is home.

Conflict: Alex has to go.

Subtext: AI can’t replace a human.

Hope/fear: Will Alex be gone for good?

INT. JOSHUA’S HOME – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Joshua is having a peaceful night, then Alex shows up, and he must figure out what to do.

Essence: Joshua destroys his creation, Alex.

Conflict: Alex is a threat.

Subtext: the danger of AI

Hope/fear: Will Joshua know what to do with Alex?

INT. LOGAN HOME – DAY

Scene Arc: from the aftermath to restoration

Essence: Claire is working from home, and the Logans have found a new normal that seems to be working for them.

Conflict: The new neighbors are still putting the Logans to shame.

Subtext: joy/ contentment

Hope/fear: The new neighbor’s wife is an AI.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Lori Lance.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Lori Lance.

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown’s Scene requirements

I learned: As tedious as this is… it’s making this story so much stronger.

THE TASTE OF LONG LOST

Star crossed lovers reunite decades later in a small Montana town with big hearted secrets.

Act 1: (Hope / Love)

INT. ALLEY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT (2001)

Alley Winder Sings her heart out into a microphone – a song she wrote based on an old, tattered Postcard of Montana that her grandmother Lillian left behind. We then see Alley is singing alone in her bedroom.

Scene Arc: Looks like she’s on stage, to actually… she’s alone in her bedroom.

Essence: Alley has big dreams of being a singer / songwriter.

Conflict: Song is based on a postcard Lillian left her before she disappeared.

Subtext: Alley still wonders where her grandmother is.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will make it. We fear she is keeping her talent hidden away.

EXT. GRAVEYARD – NORMANDY- DAY (1945)

17-year-old Lillian Lamont at her Mother and Father’s funeral in war torn Normandy. Cries of Joy rise from the town. The war is over. Lillian throws the flowers she holds into the grave and bolts toward town.

EXT. STREET – NORMANDY – DAY (1945)

A parade of American solders marches through the streets. Lillian catches the American penny that Joe tosses from a tank in the parade.

INT. STREET CAFÉ – NORMANDY – NIGHT (1945)

Broken English and French from both. Joe asks Lillian to marry him. The whole café cheers….

Scene Arc: From grieving orphan to a bright future of love.

Essence: Lillian is running from death, toward life.

Conflict: Her town is in ruin.

Subtext: She wants out, even if it means marrying a stranger.

Hope/Fear: We hope she has found true love. We fear Joe might break her vulnerable heart.

INT. CATHOLIC CHURCH – NORMANDY – DAY (1945)

Half the back wall is gone, but the sun still streams through the glass window. After the ceremony, joe makes an offhand remark about guess his family will have to be ok with it being a Catholic wedding… Lillian doesn’t catch the meaning, she’s so happy.

EXT. CHURCH – NORMANDY – DAY (1945)

Instead of getting into a honeymoon car, Joe leaves with his guys. They’re shipping out. Joe gives Alley her ticket for a civilian ship to follow.

Scene Arc: From together in wedding to being pulled apart by war.

Essence: The innocence of actions fueled by war.

Conflict: The church where they make their vows is in ruin.

Subtext: Joe knows his family won’t like her or her beliefs.

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley just found love. We fear she has been abandoned again.

INT. LILLIAN’S HOUSE – NORMANDY – NIGHT (1945)

Lillian and her friend fantasize about Lillian’s American Adventure while they pack her bags.

Scene Arc: From sad about separation to ecstatic about Lillian’s glamourous new life.

Essence: Hope

Conflict: She is preparing to go alone

Subtext: Lillian is making up a future that might not exist.

Hope/Fear: We hope for Lillian’s great adventure. We fear she is living in a fantasy.

EXT. STREET MARKET – MISSOULA, MONTANA (2001)

Wandering Street jeweler CJ Claim Falls for Alley on first touch when measuring Alley for a necklace. His wares are laid out on an open case balanced on the seat of his motorcycle. Alley picks out a half-broken stone for her necklace. CJ pockets the other half of the stone.

Scene Arc: From wandering man to man in love

Essence: Love at first sight is real

Conflict: He’s poor and she’s with a jock

Subtext: CJ doesn’t have a chance.

Hope/Fear: We want them to get together. We fear she will leave with the Jock.

INT. ALLEY’S HOUSE – MISSOULA – NIGHT (2001)

Alley prepares the Debut of her song “Maybe Montana” for a big open mic night in Missoula. CJ kisses Alley for the first time.

INT. ALLEY’S HOUSE – MISSOULA – DAY (2001)

Alley making cookies. Explains to CJ these cookies are special – her long lost grandma taught her. Only she and Lillian know the recipe. Alley takes small savoring bites. CJ eats them whole.

EXT. CLARK FORK RIVER – MISSOULA, MONTANA – DAY (2001)

CJ tells Alley about his mom – a cereal cheater who left him and his dad when he was seven.

Scene Arc: From strangers to trusted lover.

Essence: Sharing secrets

Conflict: Alley wants CJ to savor them, but he’s chomping them down.

Subtext: desire for other to see what is special

Hope/Fear: We hope they are meant to be. We fear they have given each other weapons to hurt each other.

Act One Turning Point 1: (Heartbreak)

EXT. DOCK – FLORIDA – DAY (1945)

Lillian sitting on the dock in America, Joe is not there to receive her. They want to put her back on the boat to return to France. Lillian refuses.

Scene Arc: From big arrival to big abandonment.

Essence: Lillian has been stood up on a colossal scale.

Conflict: They want to send her back to France.

Subtext: Alley still believes

Hope/Fear: We hope Joe will arrive. We fear Lillian will be sent back.

EXT. CJ’s HOUSE – MISSOULA – NIGHT (2001)

Alley overhears CJ and Charlie slamming one of the singers at open mic. Alley thinks he is talking about her. Alley confronts and leaves CJ on the spot. CJ has no idea why. He accuses Alley of having another lover. Alley is so hurt; she lets him think he is right.

EXT. CLARK FORK RIVER – MISSOULA – NIGHT (2001)

Alley marches to “their spot” on the river and throws in the necklace CJ made for her into the river.

Scene Arc: From happy and proud musician to devastated and heartbroken woman.

Essence: The big misunderstanding that spins both lives out of orbit.

Conflict: Alley overhears CJ being mean

Subtext: He isn’t the man she thought he was.

Hope/Fear: We hope they will talk it out. We fear they will ruin their true love.

Act 2; (Lost Years)

EXT. DOCK – FLORIDA -DAY (1945)

Joe shows up at the last moment on a little motorcycle. His car broke down and he traded it for the moto to get there in time.

Scene Arc: From abandoned bride to rescued bride

Essence: Joe shows up

Conflict: It was the last possible moment.

Subtext: This is a bad omen.

Hope/Fear: We hope their adventure can now begin. We fear this is just the beginning of Lillian’s disappointment.

EXT. DIRT ROAD – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI – DAY (1945)

Lillian arrives with Joe at their new home, only to realize her fantasy adventure lands her in deep woods Mississippi.

INT. JOE’S PARENT’S HOUSE – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI – NIGHT (1945)

Joe’s family makes fun of the “Fancy French” outsider’s mispronounced words.

INT. BEDROOM – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI – NIGHT (1946)

This is not Lillian’s idea of her American adventure. Lillian packs her bags to bolt, she then discovers she is pregnant. She unpacks her bags.

Scene Arc: From disillusioned to trapped.

Essence: the opposite of Lillian’s dream.

Conflict: Unwelcoming family

Subtext: requiem for a dream.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian will find a way out. We fear the light in her will go out.

EXT. DIRT ROAD – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI – DAY (1946)

Joe and brothers bring home a small buck in the back of the truck. It shocks Lillian — it’s so small.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI – DAY (1946)

Joe hangs the mounted head of the young buck on the wall. Lillian alternates between not being able to look at it and talking to it like the friend she does not have.

Scene Arc: From alone to having a friend.

Essence: Innocence meets innocence.

Conflict: The deer had to die for her to have an imaginary friend.

Subtext: she might be losing her grip

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian finds solace here. We fear she is in for a lonely life.

INT. BEARCLAW TAVERN – OUTSKIRTS OF MISSOULA (2001)

Heartbroken CJ gets drunk with best friend and his dog gets hit by a truck.

EXT. ICY MOUNTAIN ROAD – OUTSKIRTS OF MISSOULA (2001)

CJ gets into a near fatal accident taking his dog up the mountain so it can die at home.

Scene Arc: from heartbroken to almost dead.

Essence: downward spiral

Conflict: His dog is dying and the roads are icy.

Subtext: CJ is now self-distructive

Hope/Fear: We hope he will make it up the mountain. We fear he will have an accident.

INT. LAUREN’S APARTMENT – MISSOULA – NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Alley’s apathy driven life has fallen apart. Alley goes to her best friend who calls out Alley for not smiling for years. Alley decides she will go to Soaking Springs MT to regroup. To Lillian’s Resort Motel because the name reminds her of her long-lost grandmother, Lillian.

Scene Arc: Seeking support to getting tough love to escape.

Essence: Alley’s apathy has caught up with her.

Conflict: Her friend is not letting her get away with it.

Subtext: dodging accountability.

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley will find support with friend. We fear Alley will lash out when presented with truth.

SOAKING SPRINGS, MONTANA – LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL – DAY (PRESENT)

CJ, Now the groundskeeper at Lillian’s Resort Motel, spots Alley when she arrives, but does not yet reveal himself.

FLASHBACK – DAY OF BREAKUP

We see CJ’s side of the painful breakup.

Scene Arc: CJ’s peaceful retreat to his biggest heartbreak crashing into his safe reality.

Essence: Old pain returns with a vengeance.

Conflict: Alley does not see him. He hides.

Subtext: overwhelm.

Hope/Fear: We hope CJ reveals himself. We fear he will run.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint – ALLEY

INT. LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL – DAY (PRESENT)

Over morning coffee service, the very same cookies that only Alley and Lillian know how to make are served. Alley takes small bites.

Scene Arc: From escaping her life, to her biggest abandonment wound showing up as a cookie.

Essence: Alley realizes Lillian had to have been here.

Conflict: relaxation is over.

Subtext: pain flooding back

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley finds Lillian. We don’t know where Lillian is yet.

INT. KITCHEN – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI – DAY (1946)

Trying to work out the recipe, A very pregnant and homesick Lillian explains to the buck on the wall about how her mother used to make these cookies every time fresh cream was delivered. The garbage is piled with discarded cookies. Joe’s mother comes in and berates her for all the wasted ingredients.

Scene Arc: From homesick to comforted to berated.

Essence: Trying to find a happy foothold.

Conflict: Joe’s mother berates her

Subtext: Lillian doesn’t belong here.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian finds a moment of happiness. We fear for her and her child in this place.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint – LILLIAN

INT. DINING ROOM – NOWHERE MISSISSIPPI (1946)

Lillian and Joe’s turn to host family dinner. But the fam doesn’t like her French cooking. Lillian tries to save it with her now perfected cookies, but the banter gets mean, and Lillian takes a stand. Joe backs her up and declares they are moving to the city… which is really just a small town.

Scene Arc: from alone underdog to victor with an ally.

Essence: A ray of hope for Lillian.

Conflict: piling on insults from the family.

Subtext: No longer alone.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian can find her voice. We fear Joe won’t stand with her.

Act 3: (A New Life)

MONTAGE – THE NEW TOWN – (1950-1990)

Lillian and Joe raise their daughter who then has a daughter. Now grandma Lillian teaches young Alley to make the cookies.

INT. LILLIAN’S HOME – NEW TOWN – Day (1990)

Lillian’s is 62^nd Birthday. Joe has a heart attack and dies.

Scene Arc: From lonely outcast to finding some happiness to losing the love of her life.

Essence: Lillian makes a life, then loses the man she scarified her dreams for.

Conflict: Joe dies

Subtext: Lillian makes do

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian will find happiness with her family. We fear she will not recover.

INT. LILLIAN’S HOME – NEW TOWN – NIGHT (OF JOE’S FUNERAL 1990)

Lillian bolts. Takes the deer head with her. Lillian leaves a note for Alley with the collection of postcards she brought with her to America.

Scene Arc: From a life resigned, to a dream reignited.

Essence: Lillian leaves her life.

Conflict: She doesn’t even say goodbye

Subtext: Desperation of her dream still burns.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian makes it away without notice. We fear for the pain she will cause her family.

EXT. SOAKING SPRINGS, MONTANA – DAY (1990)

Lillian uses the money from Joe’s life insurance to start Lillian’s Resort Motel.

Scene Arc: from depending on her husband to self-empowerment.

Essence: Lillian takes control of her destiny.

Conflict: The motel is run down.

Subtext: An adventure has presented itself.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian can pull it off. We fear she is in over her head.

MONTAGE – LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL – (1990-2001)

Lillian transforms the Motel into a charming, French inspired jewel, nestled in the mountains.

Scene Arc: From tired widow to impassioned businesswoman.

Essence: The adventure is in play.

Conflict: It’s a lot of work. She can’t do it all.

Subtext: Lillian is a force of nature.

Hope/Fear: We hope the Motel is a success. We fear it will tank.

INT. BAKERY – SOAKING SPRINGS – DAY (2001)

Lillian teaches local baker how to make the cookies so she can serve them at the Motel.

Scene Arc: From overwhelmed to getting help.

Essence: Lillian gives up her recipe.

Conflict: It’s a secret recipe

Subtext: Lillian is abandoning ALL her familial obligations.

Hope/Fear: We hope baker makes them well. We fear Alley will find out.

INT. SOAKING SPRINGS, MONTANA – DAY (2010)

At the age of 83, instead of reuniting with any of the family she abandoned 30 years ago, Lillian sells the Motel and checks herself into a rest home in Missoula.

Scene Arc: From self sufficient to asking for help

Essence: Lillian makes arrangements for her future

Conflict: Old age.

Subtext: Shame. Lillian would rather die alone in a room rather than face her abandoned family.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lillian will reach out to family. We fear she will die alone.

NOTE: REST OF OUTLINE TAKES PLACE IN PRESENT DAY.

EXT. SOAKING SPRINGS, MONTANA – AT REMOTE HOT SPRINGS – DAY

CJ reveals himself to Alley. He looks different now, because of the accident, and his head scars, his hair doesn’t grow right, so he keeps his head shaved. But he still wears the necklace he made from the other half of the stone Alley picked out when they met.

Scene Arc: From distant memory to real man.

Essence: CJ reveals himself.

Conflict: They’re half naked in the hot springs. No easy escape.

Subtext: CJ wants Alley to be uncomfortable

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley recognizes CJ. We fear she will leave when she does.

INT. LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL – NIGHT

Alley tells CJ that she threw the necklace he made for her into the river at “their spot”. They feel the old flame to spite themselves.

Scene Arc: From defending her guilt to feeling attracted.

Essence: Alley confesses to CJ.

Conflict: CJ still wears his necklace.

Subtext: Alley has shields up. Still wants to hurt CJ.

Hope/Fear: We hope CJ forgives her. We fear he will shame her.

EXT. SOAKING SPRINGS – DAY

CJ takes Alley an exhilarating ride on the motorcycle he’s been fixing up. They almost get run over by a trucker.

Scene Arc: From renewed life to almost death.

Essence: reigniting passion.

Conflict: The truck runs them off the road.

Subtext: CJ can handle the pressure.

Hope/Fear: We hope they stay safe. We fear they will wreck.

EXT. LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL – NIGHT

They almost kiss, and CJ asks Alley to play a song for him… She thinks he is making fun of her. They get in a fight about the past. Alley leaves Soaking Springs.

Scene Arc: From Love to trigger to fight to horrible realization.

Essence: The big fight

Conflict: They still don’t know the truth.

Subtext: They are both still hiding.

Hope/Fear: We hope they tell their side. We fear they will repeat the past.

FLASHBACK – CJ – SERIES OF SCEENS

CJ has a flashback of his accident. CJ rolls his truck down the raven and gets trapped under the truck. In the hospital, CJ holds the necklace.

Scene Arc: From painful memory to recognition of his touchstone.

Essence: CJ’s pain comes rushing back.

Conflict: He almost died.

Subtext: The necklace saved him.

Hope/Fear: We hope CJ can tell Alley the truth. We fear he will run away.

EXT. CLARK FORK RIVER – MISSOULA – DAY

CJ at the river to search for Alley’s necklace. It has been waiting, caught on a river wash tree for all these years. He almost dies in this attempt when the underwater river wash tree breaks free from his efforts and rolls on him.

Scene Arc: from knight in shining armor to battle wounded almost defeated.

Essence: CJ retrieves the

Conflict: The river is dangerous.

Subtext: CJ risks his life to get Alley back.

Hope/Fear: We hope CJ will find the necklace. We fear he will die.

Turning Point 3:

INT. ALLEY’S HOUSE – MISSOULA – NIGHT

CJ brings the necklace to Alley and lays his heart on the line but is rebuffed by a confused Alley. He retreats with his re-broken heart, but not before he tells Alley the truth about when his accident happened, then drops the bomb — Lillian is in a rest home in Missoula (only miles from Alley all these years). He was sworn to secrecy by Lillian years ago.

Scene Arc: From delivering the prize to his beloved to being rejected to lashing out.

Essence: CJ brings the necklace to Alley

Conflict: Alley can’t wrap her head around it.

Subtext: CJ can’t take it anymore. No more strong and silent.

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley will see CJ. We fear she will let him go.

Act 4 Climax: (What is Love, Anyway)

INT. REST HOME – MISSOULA – DAY

Alley confronts Lillian. Asks Lillian if the stories she told of her love with Joe were true. Having made up a faux history for herself in Montana for so long, Lillian hardy knows what was real and what wasn’t. The hyper-romantic stories Lillian told her as a child were mostly made up. Alley realizes she has built her entire concept of love on a foundation of lies. Alley finds a pic of Lillian and CJ on the wall.

Scene Arc: From hopeful reunion to reality turned on its head.

Essence: Alley finds out Lillian is not her heroine grandmother.

Conflict: Lillian doesn’t know what’s real.

Subtext: Alley loses her foundation

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley will get the answers she needs. We fear she will be crushed.

Resolution: (Surrender)

INT. ALLEY’S CAR – REST HOME PARKING LOT – DAY

Alley realizes she has rejected her true love, twice! Alley swallows her pride, sheds her unrealistic expectations of perfect love and… demolishes (shoves them all in her mouth) the box of cookies she brought for Lillian. Then jams the car into drive.

Scene Arc: From fairy tale believing child to woman living in the present.

Essence: Alley decides to create her own reality

Conflict: She already rejected CJ

Subtext: EAT life. NOW

Hope/Fear: We hope Alley gets to CJ in time. We fear it is too late.

EXT. LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL – NIGHT

Alley shows up wearing the necklace and one lone cookie in the box. CJ is about to leave. All packed up. Alley makes her proclamation. CJ eats the cookie in one bite then invites Alley to buy Lillian’s Resort Motel together. CJ kisses her with epic abandon.

Scene Arc: From broken love to a new start.

Essence: Alley lays her heart out to CJ

Conflict: CJ is about to leave.

Subtext: They both desperately want to love each other.

Hope/Fear: We hope CJ accepts Alley’s love. We fear it’s too late.

INT. REST HOME – MISSOULA – NIGHT

Lillian drifts off into sleep then into death and is reunited with Joe.

Scene Arc: From alive and alone, to dead and reunited.

Essence: Lillian dies and reunites with Joe.

Conflict: She dies.

Subtext: Enough already.

Hope/Fear: We hope for peace. We fear this will hurt Alley.

LILLIAN’S RESORT MOTEL (PRESENT DAY)

The deer hangs on the wall, Lillian’s penny around its neck. Alley and CJ are running Lillian’s Resort Motel and selling Lillian’s cookies.

Scene Arc: Last scene. Happy ending

Essence: Alley and CJ have a new life together.

Conflict: NA

Subtext: Love finds a way.

Hope/Fear: We hope they have a great life together.

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Scene Requirements

My vision: I am an “A” list writer who is known for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: I discovered a lot of my characters’ motivations and filled some plot holes. Great exercise to come at my outline from a different perspective!

FADE IN:

EXT. SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA – DAY

Exclusive apartment buildings on a palm-tree-lined street.

• Scene Arc: Establishing shots.

• Essence: Someone with money lives here.

• Conflict: It’s hot.

• Subtext:

• Hope/fear:

EXT./INT. MARCH’S APARTMENT OFFICE – DAY

Luxury furnishings.

• Scene Arc: Again, this is owned by someone with power.

• Essence: Money and power.

• Conflict:

• Subtext:

• Hope/fear:

LAPTOP COMPUTER IN THE OFFICE – DAY

Two hands, one encased in black leather, types on keyboard. A
taped PBS interview is played, one section multiple times.

• Scene Arc: We know nothing to we know there might be
something about the girl in the PBS interview.

• Essence: the scar on the girl’s temple.

• Conflict: The person with the gloved hand grunts happily.

• Subtext: Something is brewing here.

• Hope/fear: Who’s the girl, should we fear for her safety?

EXT./INT. PHOENIX, ARIZONA – POTTERY REPAIR SHOP – DAY

A small pottery/china repair shop. We see the world of twenty
six-year-old pottery restoration expert, SARAH COLE. Her boss
praises her for her work. Sarah seems meek, numb.

INT. POTTERY REPAIR SHOP

Sarah demonstrates expertise as she lays out small, broken
pieces of pottery in their order of being put back together.
She finishes up one job and immediately starts on another.

• Scene Arc: Sarah appears to be level-headed but seems to
have some psychological issues.

• Essence: Sarah’s a talented artisan. An emotional mess.

• Conflict: She lies to her boss that she is okay.

• Subtext: Her boss knows she drinks to excess. Sarah
scratches her arm with fingernails – evidence of self-harm.

• Hope/fear: We hope she’s in a good place. We’re worried
that she’s not.

EXT. LIQUOR STORE – DAY

Sarah leaves work, makes sure no one notices as she enters
her favorite liquor store.

• Scene Arc: Pretends all is okay then goes to buy booze.

• Essence: She’s using alcohol to stay numb.

• Conflict: She doesn’t want to drink, but does.

• Subtext: She needs some help to quit drinking.

• Hope/fear: We hope she finds peace.

INT. SARAH’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Sarah drinks vodka to dull her emotional pain. We see
flashbacks of some of the childhood memories that haunt her.

• Scene Arc: She’s upset, gets drunk, everything is okay.

• Essence: Sarah drinks to forget.

• Conflict: She’s slowly killing herself.

• Subtext: She is in desperate need of help.

• Hope/fear: We are afraid she’ll die before she gets help.

INT. POTTERY REPAIR SHOP – DAY

Sarah is given an ancient Anasazi Indian pot to repair. The
zig zag pattern on it triggers emotions in Sarah and —

BEGIN B&W FLASHBACK

EXT. ARIZONA DESERT – INDIAN CLIFF DWELLING – NIGHT

A terrified 6-year-old little girl runs from a bearded, man.
We will call her YOUNG SARAH. We will call him BEAR.

The girl wears a small pot shard with a zig zag design on her
necklace. The man catches the girl – throws her off a cliff.

END FLASHBACK

INT. POTTERY REPAIR SHOP – DAY

The pot slips from Sarah’s hands, breaks. Sarah is mortified.
Her boss is pissed, lays her off, tells not to come back
until she gets sober. Sarah boxes up the pot and rushes out.

• Scene Arc: Sarah is barely hanging on to her fragile
world shatters.

• Essence: The little girl’s shard looks to be the same
shard as the woman in the PBS interview. The woman is Sarah.

• Conflict: Why is Bear chasing the little girl?

• Subtext: Sarah knows something that Bear fears.

• Hope/fear: Was the little girl killed?

EXT. LIQUOR STORE – DAY

About to enter, Sarah hears broken shards clink in the box.

• Scene Arc: From needing a drink to heeding an omen.

• Essence: The broken pot has forced her to change course.

• Conflict: She needs a drink and the pot stopped her.

• Subtext: She fears and is desperately curious about the
broken pot.

• Hope/fear: We fear something big is about to happen.

INT. SARAH’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Sarah researches the pot’s owner, JAMES MARCH, learns he is a
self-help author and hypnotist. She calls March, admits she
broke his pot, tells him she can fix it in a week.

• Scene Arc: From afraid to curious.

• Essence: Does March hold a key to Sarah’s pst?

• Conflict: She fears the pot but fears her memories more.

• Subtext: She’s drawn to learn more about the pot’s owner.

• Hope/fear: We hope she will find some answers.

EXT./INT. POLICE CAR – NAVAJO INDIAN RESERVATION – DAY

Officer JOHNNY BENALLY drives in his police car. Notices the
Shaman on a mesa, a dust devil swirls near the man.

• Scene Arc: From peaceful to tornadic activity.

• Essence: Establish Johnny as a cop and as something more.

• Conflict: Johnny seems to have an issue with the old man.

• Subtext: Johnny is afraid to make a choice-of-life-path.

• Hope/fear: Hope Johnny is s good guy. We fear the Shaman.

INT. NAVAJO NATION POLICE DEPARTMENT – DAY

Police Chief FRANK BENALLY lays Johnny off.

• Scene Arc: Johnny’s happy to he becomes angry.

• Essence: Johnny is being forced to choose his lift path.

• Conflict: Johnny/insubordination/gets suspended no pay.

• Subtext: Frank doesn’t want to lay Johnny off.

• Hope/fear: We hope Johnny can make his car payments.

EXT. SHAMAN’S HOGAN – NAVAJO RESERVATION – DAY

Shaman wants Johnny to be Shaman. Johnny refuses the call.

INT. PHOENIX RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Sarah and March meet for dinner. She returns the fixed pot,
reveals that she knows reveals he’s a self-help author and
hypnotist.

• Scene Arc: From we know nothing to we know the movie.

• Essence: March knows a treatment that will to help Sarah.

• Conflict: She fears what she may learn.

• Subtext: March is egotistical, controlling, always right.

• Hope/fear: We fear for Sarah. We hope she’ll find peace.

EXT. PHOENIX RESTAURANT – NIGHT

A mugger in a ski mask, attempts to mug Sarah and March.

• Scene Arc: from safety to danger to safety

• Essence: March’s bionic arm is a powerful weapon.

• Conflict: March breaks the mugger’s jaw with a punch.

• Subtext: March has physical abilities, plays down his
heroism.

• Hope/fear: We fear Sarah may quit her positive direction.

INT. SARAH’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

March comes off as helpful, honest, reassuring.

• Scene Arc: Sarah has hope, then whes she starts to drink
her world crashes.

• Essence: March piques Sarah’s interest in getting help
and her strongest memory yet rocks her world.

• Conflict: She wants to call March, gets drunk instead.

• Subtext: Sarah is deathly afraid of learning the truth.

• Hope/fear: We hope Sarah will get back on the right path.

INSERT FLASHBACK

EXT. ARIZONA DESERT – INDIAN GRAVE SITE – DAY

Young Sarah argues with Ben, her dad, about going to school.

• Scene Arc: from young Sarah angry to content

• Essence: Sarah’s shard necklace was give her by her dad.

• Conflict: Sarah argues about going to school.

• Subtext: Young Sarah is headstrong, loves her father.

• Hope/fear: We fear young Sarah is headed for danger.

INT. SARAH’S APARTMENT – DAY

Sarah reads passages in March’s self-help book.

• Scene Arc: Sarah goes from fear to hope March can help.

• Essence: March uses hypnosis to treat Sarah.

• Conflict: Young Sarah kicks a human skull in the desert.

• Subtext: Young Sarah’s father is into something illegal.

• Hope/fear: We hope young Sarah will be safe.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – DAY

March hypnotizes Sarah. She recalls her father was an
archeologist and has some vague memories about armor and
weapons from Spanish Conquistadors hidden in a small cave.

• Scene Arc: Sarah goes from fearful to wanting treatment.

• Essence: March claims he’s too busy to take Sarah on as a
patient but…

• Conflict: If she does all he says, he’ll treat her.

• Subtext: March has taken control of Sarah.

• Hope/fear: We hope March will be able to help Sarah.

EXT. NAVAJO NATION – HORSE STABLE – DAY

Johnny takes a job, brings up the Sarah Cole cold case with
the stable manager. The manager lets slip that it had to do
with grave robbers and a rumor of some old treasure cave.

• Scene Arc: Johnny is despondent to he is on a mission.

• Essence: Rumors of an ancient treasure cave are true.

• Conflict: Johnny digs into police matters he should leave
alone.

• Subtext: Johnny wants to prove himself to his father.

• Hope/fear: We hope Johnny is successful.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – DAY

March hypnotizes Sarah, regresses her to meet YOUNG SARAH,
her 6-year-old self, and learn what trauma she experienced.

• Scene Arc: March takes Sarah on a memory journey.

• Essence: March is interested in helping Sarah, learning
more about her past, wants total control of her treatment.

• Conflict: Young Sarah is a handful, difficult to manage.

• Subtext: March and Sarah are on the same side.

• Hope/fear: We hope Sarah will find the answers she needs.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – DAY

Multiple sessions where Sarah learns details about her father
from young Sarah. March apologizes for a faulty diagnosis.

• Scene Arc: From Sarah goes from being compliant to
fighting with March and young Sarah about her memories.

• Essence: March is inserting his memories into Sarah’s.

• Conflict: Sarah believes March more than she does her
younger self.

• Subtext: Sarah is growing a spine.

• Hope/fear: We fear she will backslide. We hope she won’t.

INT. SHAMAN’S HOGAN – NAVAJO RESERVATION – DAY

Johnny queries his grandfather, the Shaman, on the story
about Sarah Cole. Shaman tells him to go talk to his father.

• Scene Arc: Johnny is confident to mixed up.

• Essence: The Shaman knows more than he is saying.

• Conflict: Johnny is angry with his father.

• Subtext: Johnny is going to bend the rules.

• Hope/fear: We hope Johnny succeeds in his quest.

INT. NAVAJO NATION POLICE DEPARTMENT – DAY

Johnny confronts his father about unsolved Sarah Cole case.

• Scene Arc: Johnny is unsure to confident.

• Essence: Johnny knows Frank was involved with the case.

• Conflict: Johnny is suspended and can’t do police work.

• Subtext: Johnny doesn’t care and will investigate anyway.

• Hope/fear: Hope he succeeds, fear he’ll get in trouble.

EXT. ARIZONA DESERT – SHAMAN’S MESA – DAY

Frank climbs to where the Shaman chants spirits, they argue.

• Scene Arc: Frank is confident to floundering.

• Essence: Frank and the Shaman both know about the case.

• Conflict: Frank allowed bad things to happen twenty years
ago and the Shaman shames Frank.

• Subtext: Both men regret decisions they made 20 years
ago. Frank reveals he’s pround he’s put Johnny in harm’s way.

• Hope/fear: We hope we learn what the hell is going on.

Mystery: FLASHBACK: Shaman and Frank transport little Sarah
to the hospital in Shaman’s old pickup.

INT. PHOENIX BAR – NIGHT

Sarah confides to the bartender, wonders if March could be
wrong about her father and wonders if March is manipulating
her memories and her interaction with young Sarah.

• Scene Arc: Sarah goes from numb to determined.

• Essence: Sarah doesn’t know which way to turn.

• Conflict: She attempts suicide.

• Subtext: She’s at the end of her rope. The bottom.

• Hope/fear: We hope she lives.

INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM – NIGHT

Sarah has OD’d. They pump her stomach.

• Scene Arc: She’s nearly dies, has a vision, and lives.

• Essence: She remembers her father telling her to only
“trust in herself.”

• Conflict: Does she question March or become secretive.

• Subtext: Sarah is growing a spine again.

• Hope/fear: We hope she gets the answers she needs.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – DAY

TOMAS, the mugger wants more money from March to keep quiet
about March using Sarah for his “next book”.

• Scene Arc: March is calm to overly anxious.

• Essence: March is being squeezed for money.

• Conflict: Tomas has a broken jaw and can’t work.

• Subtext: March wants to write a book about Sarah.

• Hope/fear: We hope Sarah won’t fly off the handle.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – LATER

Buoyed by her ER experience, Sarah surreptitiously questions
young Sarah while March asks questions of young Sarah.

• Scene Arc: Sarah goes from being a worm to predator.

• Essence: Sarah isn’t sure about March’s honesty.

• Conflict: Young Sarah gives conflicting answers to March
and Sarah.

• Subtext: Young Sarah is trying to help older Sarah.

• Hope/fear: We hope Sarah makes the right decisions.

EXT./INT. SHAMAN’S HOGAN – DAY

Johnny reluctantly spends time with his grandfather and
refreshes his knowledge of native and shamanistic lore.

• Scene Arc: Johnny goes from rebellious to grateful.

• Essence: Johnny is appreciative of his Navajo roots.

• Conflict: The Shaman reveals Frank knows things about the
Sarah Cole case.

• Subtext: Johnny pumps the Shaman, will investigate more.

• Hope/fear: We hope Johnny finds what he needs.

INT. NAVAJO NATION HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Johnny tracks down a nurse who cared for Sarah 20 years ago.

• Scene Arc: Johnny goes from unsure to positive.

• Essence: Frank was definitely involved with Sarah’s case.

• Conflict: He will have to confront his father.

• Subtext: He will push the boundaries of the case.

• Hope/fear: We fear he’ll be shut down, hope he succeeds.

INT. NAVAJO NATION POLICE DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

Johnny questions Frank, is angrily rebuked.

• Scene Arc: from peaceful to at each other’s throats.

• Essence: Frank is afraid of what Johnny will discover.

• Conflict: Frank wants Johnny to leave the case alone.

• Subtext: Frank WANTS Johnny to continue on the case.

• Hope/fear: We hope Johnny finds the answers.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – DAY

Before her next session, Sarah questions March about his true
motives. He admits he plans to write his next book about her.

• Scene Arc: Sarah starts as inquisitive, ends as angry.

• Essence: Sarah is determined to stops her treatments.

• Conflict: She storms out of his office, breaks something.

• Subtext: March has her right where he wants her.

• Hope/fear: We hope March continues to treat her.

EXT./INT. NAVAJO NATION – HORSE STABLE – DAY

Johnny runs into Tomas at the stabl who has come into money.

• Scene Arc: Johnny is depressed, he wants to investigate.

• Essence: Johnny learns that March paid Tomas money.

• Conflict: Tomas was supposed to lead March and Sarah into
the desert but can’t because of his broken jaw.

• Subtext: Johnny will take Tomas’s place.

• Hope/fear: We hope Johnny learns more about Sarah’s case.

EXT./INT. SARAH’S APARTMENT – DAY

March shows at Sarah’s apartment, convinces her the only way
for her to find peace is for them to revisit “the scene of
the crime”, a remote area on the Navajo reservation.

• Scene Arc: Sarah resists to she is malleable.

• Essence: March has control over Sarah’s actions.

• Conflict: March uses a post-hypnotic suggestion to get
her to act against her will.

• Subtext: March cares deeply about her and wants to help.

• Hope/fear: We hope March succeeds, fear for her safety.

INT. MARCH’S OFFICE – NIGHT

March is livid when Tomas calls and tells him a different
guide will lead him into the desert.

• Scene Arc: March is calm, in control to angry, scared.

• Essence: March’s plan has been upended.

• Conflict: March promises to kill Tomas.

• Subtext: March isn’t the nice guy Sarah thinks he is.

• Hope/fear: We hope Sarah will be safe.

EXT. NAVAJO NATION – REMOTE DESERT – DAY

Johnny leads Sarah and March deep into inhospitable desert to
search for the cave. He suspects March is not who he claims
and tells Sarah about it. Sarah won’t believe him, is pissed.

• Scene Arc: Sarah is content to upset and angry.

• Essence: Johnny has messed up March’s plans.

• Conflict: March tells Johnny to keep distance from Sarah.

• Subtext: Johnny knows March is hiding something.

• Hope/fear: we hope/fear Sarah won’t get hurt.

EXT. CAMP IN THE DESERT – NIGHT

March and Johnny argue. Sarah questions her memories.

• Scene Arc: Johnny becomes an outcast.

• Essence: March wants total control of Sarah’s treatment.

• Conflict: Johnny and March in a battle of words.

• Subtext: March has something up his sleeve.

• Hope/fear: A scorpion bites Johnny in his bedroll.

EXT. NAVAJO NATION – REMOTE DESERT – DAY

Sarah, March, and Johnny endure harsh desert conditions,
climb up perilous cliffs.

• Scene Arc: Elation when they discover the treasure cave.

• Essence: This is the place Sarah will remember things.

• Conflict: March orders Sarah and Johnny to move rocks.

• Subtext: March wants to keep his eyes on both of them.

• Hope/fear: We fear for both Sarah and Johnny.

INT. THE TREASURE CAVE – DAY

Sarah realizes March has used her all along and that he is
actually Bear. And that he killed her father.

• Scene Arc: From elation to fear.

• Essence: March needed Sarah’s memory to remember where
the cave was because he couldn’t. He lost his arm in the cave
and wandered in the desert for days.

• Conflict: March must now kill both Sarah and Johnny.

• Subtext: March is insane.

• Hope/fear: We hope Sarah and Johnny will live.

DEEPER LAYERS: Sarah is helping Johnny realize his true
calling and he is helping her to heal.

SHAMAN’S RESOLUTION: The Shaman sits on the mesa, chants. A
dust devil appears. At the same time, a dust devil appears at
the mouth of the cave and Sarah recognizes the spirit of her
father. March is distracted for a moment which gives Johnny a
chance to charge March.

JOHNNY’S RESOLUTION: He charges March to protect Sarah and
gets shot by March. A glancing head wound. He will survive to
realize his future as both a cop AND as the shaman.

SARAH’S RESOLUTION: Sarah has put the pieces of herself back
together.
She grabs a Conquistador shield, uses it to deflect March’s
bullets, get close and fights him to the death. She will need
time but now can allow herself to love and be loved and enjoy
life as a complete person.

MARCH’S RESOLUTION: March fights with Sarah and loses. He
slips over the edge of the cliff, desperately hangs on with
his bionic arm – he begs for his life, plays with Sarah’s
mind. His fake arm pops loose and he falls to his death from
the same cliff he threw Sarah from twenty years before.

Mystery: Epilogue – Sarah leaves her father’s half of the
shard for Johnny to find in his hospital bed. We are led to
believe that Johnny and Sarah will hook up in the future –
but we’re not sure.

Mystery: Closing scene: March’s spirit (chindi/dust devil)
tries to put back together his arm and hand bones that were
left on the cliff that he fell from. His chindi will wander
forever and never find peace.

FADE OUT.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Scene Requirements

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I learned how awesome this process is for bringing out what scenes really need. I found this to be highly beneficial.

(INCOMPLETE BUT I HAD TO POST ALREADY…)

1. INT. ORPHANAGE – PREP KITCHEN – DAY

Always-eating orphan PENNY, 8, pops her head in looking for her buddy chef to slip her some snacks. He is not around, so Penny snoops around—and accidentally starts a fire!

Scene arc: From quiet, routine day to a fire in the orphanage.

Essence: Penny accidentally starting the fire that will cause her to climb out a window.

Conflict: Everyone in the orphanage confronted with a dangerous environment.

Subtext: The cause for Penny’s escape.

Hope/fear: Hope that she will be safe. Fear that everyone in the orphanage is in danger.

2. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

Sneaking back, Penny seems to know the ins and outs of the place. Then sees smoke. She follows it to the kitchen and realizes with horror that she must have started the fire.

Same as above.

3. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

The path back to her room becomes choked with smoke, and Penny flees in panic. She spots a window, gets it open, and climbs out.

Same.

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

She hits the street, and comes face to face with orphan MARA, 7.

Scene arc: From Penny braving things alone to finding Mara in the same place that she ended up.

Essence: Penny and Mara meet as “equals”.

Conflict: Penny and Mara in a hostile environment.

Subtext: What are the girls going to do?

Hope/fear:

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

They both run around to the front of the building, don’t see anybody from the orphanage—then, some menacing-looking man shows up in the alley, and girls run down the street!

Scene arc: Penny and Mara at the orphanage (more or less) to on the loose.

Essence: Penny and Mara have escaped the orphanage.

Conflict: Penny and Mara not only in a uncertain environment but moving farther away from the orphanage.

Subtext: Eight-year-old orphans fending for themselves.

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls will be safe. Fear that they won’t be.

5. EXT. ORPHANAGE

Kids and staff start to file out of the burning building, congregate on the street, a few hundred feet away.

6. EXT. CITY STREET – CONTINUOUS

Penny follows Mara’s eyes to the huge, looming shopping mall down the street —biggest in the country. She grabs Mara’s hand, and they take off running down the street toward the mall.

Scene arc: From outside the orphanage to far away from it—two kids on their own.

Essence: Penny leading Mara, and herself, away from the orphanage and to… the largest shopping mall in the country (maybe the world).

Conflict: Two young kids braving the physical environment.

Subtext: Penny going for it, Mara scared—but exhilarated.

Hope/fear: Hope they are doing the right thing. Fear that they are in over their heads.

7. EXT. /INT. MALL

The girls enter. A small city of a mall, a world of its own…!

Scene arc: On the street to inside the mega-mall.

Essence: Penny and Mara have fled the orphanage and are now in the mall where they are going to have to make a decision.

Conflict: Mara scared with Penny as the one responsible for her predicament, plus two young kids against the larger environment.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Fear that they will be somehow corralled by some grown-ups, or worse. Hope that they can make it in this environment.

8. INT. MALL

…They make their first tentative steps, navigating a sea of people. Mara, scared, protests that they need to go back. Penny leads Mara to believe that they are just in the mall until the “dangerous man” from the street is gone.

Scene arc: From castaways in an overwhelming environment to an attempt by Penny to be brave and take some kind of control.

Essence: Penny tries and mostly succeeds to get control of her fear, while she has to keep Mara’s own fear somehow under control.

Conflict: Two kids against the larger environment. Inner conflict within Penny over what to do.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that they go back to the orphanage. Fear that maybe now there is no turning back, or that the girls will be somehow corralled by some grownups or worse.

#. EXT. CITY STREET / ORPHANAGE

Fire trucks arrive.

9. INT. MALL

Penny and Mara spot a trolley cruising by, part of a whole transport system. The girls hop on. Jump off at a huge candy store, and Penny flashes some cash at Mara.

Scene arc: From seeing some means of support opening up (trolley) to finding a source of joy to Mara realizing that Penny’s money might be some kind of lifeline.

Essence: The girls understand that they can get around and that they have some small measure of control.

Conflict: Going deeper into this world, still fighting fear.

Subtext: An empowering sense of understanding, revelation

Hope/fear: Hope that they are doing the right thing, that they can have fun. Fear that they are getting in too deep.

10. INT. MALL

…Passing a boutique store on the way to the candy store, employee SARAH eyes them, looking out of their element and gape-eyed. Sarah mentions to her co-worker something about seeing her parents, and dreading it.

Scene arc: From more or less anonymous to not.

Essence: Character of Sarah first seeing Penny and Mara and showing some negative feelings provoked by talking about her parents.

Conflict: Some inner conflict in Sarah having to do with her parents.

Subtext: Sarah has something unpleasant to deal with, having to do with her parents.

Hope/fear:

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

The fire has been put out. HEADMISTRESS DAPHNE confirms a count of all the orphans—all except Penny & Mara! Daphne holds chef/cook DANNY accountable for the fire and fires him.

Scene arc: The orphanage fire put out to the cook being “fired” to realizing that Penny and Mara missing!

Essence: Headmistress Daphne realizes with a sinking feeling that Penny and Mara are gone.

Conflict: Daphne holding the wrong person responsible for the fire and terrified about Penny and Mara’s fate.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. INT. MALL – CANDY STORE

Penny & Mara are surrounded by the largest candy store anyone has ever seen! Later… they stuff their faces with chocolates and candy—much of which is taken “gratis”! Later… they hold their bellies in sugar-overload agony. A worker asks them don’t they have folks around.

Scene arc: From discovering a candy wonderland unknown to them to suffering the consequences to the first mall person pointing out the obvious about their situation.

Essence: Penny and Mara discovering a place of fun and happiness and feeling free for the first time.

Conflict:

Subtext: Penny and Mara taste freedom, no pun intended, with the sense of fear gone.

Hope/fear: Hope that they don’t get busted by adults.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

Firefighters confirm no one was hurt or killed in the fire. Head Mistress realizes that the girls must have gotten out. Calls police (or relevant party) to have a search put out for Penny and Mara.

Scene arc: No one hurt or killed to a search being called for Penny and Mara.

Essence: A search put out for Penny and Mara.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Will the audience hope that Penny and Mara are found—or fear for it!

#. INT. MALL

Penny realizes that they are going to have to get different clothes—and also act like they are not alone. They go to one of the hundreds of directory signs and try to figure out what is where and where the trolley system goes.

Scene arc: Firmly entrenched in the mall and still basically lost to beginning to take control of navigation.

Essence:

Conflict: Mara doesn’t like the idea of getting new clothes and acting like they are not alone—why??

Subtext: Seems they, or Penny, are planning to stay in the mall for a while.

Hope/fear:

#. INT. MALL – CLOTHING STORE

They go into a kids’ clothing store, manhandle the clothes and a clerk lets them know that they have to pay for the clothes. Asks where are your parents. Penny flashes her cash, saying they gave me this money.

Scene arc: From attempting to change things about their situation to another mall staff person wondering where the girls’ parents are.

Essence: They are exposed to prying and wondering adults, and Penny uses her first wiles against such an adult.

Conflict: The girls face prying and wondering about their situation.

Subtext: Penny using deceit.

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls can make it through without getting busted.

#. INT. SARAH’S PARENTS HOUSE – DAY/NIGHT

Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund.

Scene arc: Seemingly routine meeting with the parents to being confronted with a very disagreeable reality.

Essence: Sarah’s parents inform her that she will not receive her large trust fund until she gives birth to two children.

Conflict: Sarah’s own wishes for her life opposed by cold parents.

Subtext: Sarah’s anger and time for major decisions.

Hope/fear: Hope that this is not for real. Fear that it is.

#. INT. MALL – FOOD COURT

Penny & Mara get their first dinner, many curious eyes on them.

Scene arc: From seeking to scavenge to paying money for a meal to lots of people eying them.

Essence: The girls fully exposed to the wondering eyes of the adult world.

Conflict: Struggle to remain anonymous

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara can manage this first act of survival. Fear that they may be found out.

#. INT. MALL – LIQUOR STORE – NIGHT

AMANDA buys some hard liquor and wine. Clerk insinuates Amanda makes purchases here a lot.<s></s>

Scene arc: For Penny and Mara, a state of limbo to “discovering” a potential source of help, resources, or even a parent!

Essence: Amanda is a boozer, and Penny latches on to the idea of help from the adult world.

Conflict: What to do now?

Subtext: Penny and Mara have the idea of getting help inside the mall.

Hope/fear: Fear that in a (brief) state of limbo, Penny and Mara are going to fail or give in. Hope that maybe they have latched on to something with the ‘arrival’ of Amanda on the scene.

#. INT. OUTSIDE LIQUOR STORE

Penny and Mara watch Amanda walking out. Amanda smiles at the girls affectionately and makes her way on.

Scene arc: For Penny and Mara, a state of limbo to “discovering” a potential source of help, resources, or even a parent!

Essence: Amanda is a boozer, and Penny latches on to the idea of help from the adult world.

Conflict: What to do now?

Subtext: Penny and Mara have the idea of getting help inside the mall.

Hope/fear: Fear that in a (brief) state of limbo, Penny and Mara are going to fail or give in. Hope that maybe they have latched on to something with the ‘arrival’ of Amanda on the scene.

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Penny and Mara tentatively follow Amanda and then hear the mall PA announcement that it will be closing in 30 minutes and freak out. Mara puts her foot down with Penny saying they are going back to the orphanage, but Penny refuses and asserts herself over Mara, saying somebody needs to take charge, and that she does not intend to go back to the orphanage!

Scene arc: From some kind of potential opening up to Penny revealing her intentions.

Essence: Penny reveals her intent regarding going back to the orphanage—in essence determining Mara’s fate too.

Conflict: Mara’s desire to go back to the orphanage quashed by Penny.

Subtext: Penny will be the one in charge on this “adventure”.

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls can decide to do what is best and safest for them. Fear that now that won’t be happening (as far as the audience is concerned)!

#. INT ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

Looking down through the all-glass elevator, Mara sees someone standing next to a mall security officer and pointing up at them. The girls see Amanda get off the elevator on a high level.

Scene arc: From limbo to uncertainty to danger.

Essence: The girls have basically been found out.

Conflict: The outside world (adult world) threatening to close in on Penny and Mara.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls won’t be caught—fear that they might be!

#. INT. MALL – UPPER LEVEL

Penny and Mara get off on the same level Amanda did, see disappear around a corner, then see the mall security officer waiting on the elevator. They run down the hall after Amanda’s trail and come upon double doors, which they can’t get open, flee another direction just in time to evade mall security officer.

Scene arc: From relative tranquility to perilous action.

Essence: The girls experience being on the run in this vast mall.

Conflict: The outside world (adult world) threatening to close in on Penny and Mara.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. INT. BACK ON A LOWER LEVEL – HOME FURNISHINGS STORE

The girls hide inside a home furnishings store. It goes dark at closing time, the staff leave, and Penny and Mara go to bed in luxurious beds in the store.

Scene arc: From one form of danger to potentially another to secure with a place to sleep for the night.

Essence: The girls survive their first day and end it with beds to sleep in.

Conflict: Mara overcomes her inner conflict with fear and resolves her conflict with Penny.

Subtext: Mara starting to feel secure under Penny’s wing.

Hope/fear: Fear that now they will be caught in this store. Sure that they won’t be.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT

Head Mistress Daphne gets the latest report from the searchers (police?) that the girls have not been found. Breaks down and gets emotional. Searchers assure her that they will find the girls, then one suggests that they probably moved down the street and took shelter somewhere.

Scene arc: From fear for her responsibility to a small assurance the girls will be found.

Essence: Daphne afraid of the consequences to herself (more so than to Penny & Mara), and an assurance that Penny and Mara will be found.

Conflict: Daphne’s inner conflict with fear and uncertainty over both her fate and Penny’s and Mara’s.

Subtext: Penny and Mara will be found at some point.

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara will eventually be safe and secure.

#. INT. HOME FURNISHING STORE

They let loose and run around the place like crazy, jumping on the beds, food fight with popcorn, etc. Later, they get into separate beds, until eventually Mara crawls into bed with Penny. They fall off to sleep, exhausted by the day.

Scene arc: Releasing the tension and worries of the day, being kids, to a safe place to sleep for the night.

Essence: The girls survive their first day and end it with beds to sleep in.

Conflict: Mara overcomes her inner conflict with fear and resolves her conflict with Penny.

Subtext: Mara starting to feel secure under Penny’s wing.

Hope/fear: Fear for what tomorrow holds for Penny and Mara?

#. INT. HOME FURNISHINGS STORE – DAY

Next morning, the girls struggle to get out of the store on time and unseen. Do their best to make the beds but leave little telltale signs of their presence.

Scene arc: From tranquility to on the move.

Essence: Penny and Mara facing the challenges of another day on their own.

Conflict: A new day on the run.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that they can exit the store without being seen by people in the mall. Fear that they will be seen and that they have left clues about themselves.

#. INT. MALL – DAY

The mall is practically empty except for employees opening the shops. Penny and Mara slink around and find somewhere to hide until the place starts filling up, put their heads together to decide what they are going to do while the mall is so quiet.

Scene arc:

Essence: Penny and Mara have to learn how to move around undetected until the mall starts filling up.

Conflict: Exposed to the outer world.

Subtext: Strategic thinking and an increase of survival skills.

Hope/fear:

#. EXT. AREA AROUND THE ORPHANAGE / DOWNTOWN STREET – DAY

Search team / police comb the downtown area surrounding the mall. (Later, they enter the mall.)

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – DAY

Sarah opens up her store, at which moment the trolley system springs to operation….

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

…While across the vast mall corridor from Sarah’s store, Penny & Mara run for the trolley and jump on it….

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – CONTINUOUS

…Sarah spots the girls on the trolley and watches them jump off [ by the food court ]. She tells her co-worker that she is going to go grab some coffee, meaning to follow Penny & Mara.

Scene arc: Penny & Mara trying to evade prying eyes to Sarah watching them and going after them.

Essence: Sarah’s curiosity is caught by Penny and Mara, causing her to go after them.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. INT. [ FOOD COURT ]

Sarah spies Penny & Mara from across the way. The mall has started to swell to its regular high-density traffic, and when she looks up she has lost the girls. Realizes she has to go back to her store.

Scene arc: From Sarah getting close to approaching Penny and Mara to losing them among the crowd.

Essence: Sarah meaning to approach the girls then losing them.

Conflict: Being thwarted from approaching Penny and Mara.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. BOUTIQUE STORE, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE

Sarah and the girls meet. Sarah wonders out loud at them if they are by themselves, covertly questioning.

Scene arc: From Penny and Mara managing to stay anonymous in the mall to a nice grown-up asking prying questions.

Essence: Penny and Mara meet Sarah.

Conflict: A potential threat to Penny’s and Mara’s freedom.

Subtext: A small sense of relief in Penny and Mara, and Sarah trying to get to the bottom of their situation.

Hope/fear: Hope that Sarah can somehow help Penny and Mara. Fear that this help might mean the girls being caught.

#. INT. SARAH’S PLACE – NIGHT

Sarah tells her Fiancé about Penny & Mara, expressing her misgivings and that she feels she should report them. Withholds from him the details of her meeting with her parents, while the fiancé also brings up the topic of them starting a family.

Scene arc: From unintentionally deceiving her fiancé to the reason for that deception being brought up by her fiancé (unknowing of course).

Essence: Knowing her fiancé has been talking about having children lately, Sarah can’t bring herself to tell him about her parents’ ultimatum.

Conflict: Sarah deceiving her fiancé.

Subtext: Withholding

Hope/fear:

#. INT. MALL

Sarah takes the girls clothes shopping. Later, she takes them aside and hints that she knows, or suspects, what is going on with them. On parting, she gives them each a bag with money and food.

Scene arc: From a fun, carefree day to the idea that it all will come to an end for Penny soon if she is not careful.

Essence: Sarah caring for Penny and Mara and letting them know that she knows.

Conflict: Sarah fears she is not doing the right thing (by having not reported Penny and Mara so far).

Subtext: Sarah knows what is going on with Penny and Mara. Penny a little worried about Sarah’s involvement.

Hope/fear: Hope that Sarah will somehow take care of Penny and Mara. Fear that something else will happen.

#. INT. MALL

On an upper level, Penny accidentally drops her smothered hot dog down onto someone’s head on the level below them! Then, she drops some more food on someone’s head—this time for fun. Mara joins in. Penny and Mara explore the upper levels of the mall.

#. INT. MALL

They explore the far reaches of the mall. They get in an argument about Sarah, Penny deciding that Sarah is too “dangerous” for them.

Scene arc: From finding their way to a decision that “they” won’t be seeking out Sarah anymore.

Essence: Penny dictates to Mara that they have to keep away from Sarah.

Conflict: Penny acting against Mara’s interest.

Subtext: Penny is in charge. Suspicion of Sarah.

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara are learning how to survive, or will gravitate to Sarah. Fear that Penny is harming their chances of getting out of the mall.

#. INT. MALL – FINE RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Penny and Mara get in with Amanda’s help, who acts as the girls’ aunt, and they all get a table. Comic misadventures eating!

Scene arc: From a spirit of adventure to help from an adult to carefree times.

Essence: Some rare carefree fun for Penny and Mara and an understanding of Amanda’s behavior.

Conflict: Amanda getting loose from drinking threatens Penny’s and Mara’s anonymity.

Subtext: Penny implicitly trusts Amanda. Both understanding that her drinking may not be good for them.

Hope/fear: Fear that Amanda may give up the girls (inadvertently). Hope that Penny and Mara can weasel their way out of it.

#. INT. MALL – DAY

Tired and worried about their situation, Mara insists that they find Sarah—Penny says no. Mara defies Penny and runs over to Sarah’s store. Staying put, when Penny finally follows after Mara, she has lost her!

Scene arc: From battle of wills to losing each other.

Essence: Penny and Mara get separated.

Conflict: Penny and Mara disagreeing with each other and separated as a result.

Subtext: Mara ready to go against Penny.

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara will go find Sarah. Fear that they are separated.

INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE

Mara discovers that Sarah is not there (and that she doesn’t work at the mall anymore). Flounders around before running away, searching for Penny.

Scene arc: From the prospect of meeting up with Sarah to totally on her own.

Essence: Mara loses Penny, and vice versa.

Conflict: Alone in the mall.

Subtext: Surprise and then fear setting in.

Hope/fear: Hope that Mara will get Sarah’s help. Fear that she has lost Penny.

#. INT. MALL – LATER

Sarah returns, looking for the girls but doesn’t find them.

#. INT. MALL

Mara realizes she has lost Penny and so decides to leave the mall and try to go back to the orphanage….

Scene arc:

Essence: Mara deciding to try to get out of the mall and go back to the orphanage.

Conflict: Mara against her own fear and the environment.

Subtext: Mara coming to a decision to move on her own.

Hope/fear: Hope that she can survive this. Fear that something unfortunate will befall her.

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Panicky, Penny heads for Sarah’s store but stops to scope it out first—and sees mall security there, talking to the employees! Takes off.

Scene arc: From panic setting in to seeing “danger” waiting.

Essence: Penny has lost Mara and is now on her own.

Conflict: Penny against the environment—and her own fears setting in.

Subtext: Penny confronted with fear.

Hope/fear: Fear that Penny has lost Mara. Hope that the girls’ street skills will bring them back together.

[Bobby Sacher]

Bobby’s Scene Requirements:

What I learned doing this assignment is… this really highlights a) scenes that serve no point; b) how to GIVE scenes a point beyond just advancing the plot; c) subtext and through lines for characters

MY VISION: A writing life that is mine to do with as I please. Independently wealthy, always creatively engaged, sought after, and utterly fulfilled.

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

A teen couple (MATT and MOLLY) chased by a masked killer. Matt is killed, and the killer takes off his mask – it’s JASON – and kisses Molly.

Scene Arc: The “villain” turns to hero, and gets Molly!

Essence: On the run from a killer, Matt abandons Molly and dies for it, and the “killer” is the hero! VICTORIOUS

Conflict: Can they escape??

Subtext: The killer cares more about Molly than Matt does

Hope/Fear: We hope they escape; fear they’ll get killed

INT. JASON’S BEDROOM – DAY

Jason’s dad (CARL) wakes him up and hits him.

Scene Arc: From kissing the girl, to punched in the nuts and humiliated

Essence: Jason’s dad wakes him with a punch, and he realizes he’s late for work. HIGH-WIRE ACT OF SHAME

Conflict: Surviving a conversation with Carl

Subtext: Jason hates this man more than life… and can’t stand up for himself

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason stands up to Carl; know he won’t

INT. BENNY’S DINER – KITCHEN – NIGHT

Jason is late to work, and mocked by boss.

Scene Arc: Thinks he made it, then boss picks up where Carl left off

Essence: Jason’s always in trouble at work. TRAPPED.

Conflict: Jason against the world; can’t do anything right

Subtext: There’s nowhere safe for Jason

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason has a friend; we fear he’s all alone

INT. BENNY’S DINER – RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Jason serves Table 12 – with Matty and Molly. HACK pulls Jason’s pants down, spilling food everywhere. Jason is fired.

Scene Arc: Jason tries to brazen through; Hack takes bullying up to painful; to getting fired

Essence: Jason’s worst nightmare come true – HUMILIATED

Conflict: Jason tries to avoid the inevitable

Subtext: Matt: this was Jason’s first friend; this is Carl again

Hope/Fear: We hope (again) Jason stands up for himself, or someone comes to his aid…

EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Jason overhears group planning cabin trip the next morning.

Scene Arc: Jason the outcast; taunted by Matt and Molly (they kiss)

Essence: Jason lurks behind car, hearing plans. ALONE

Conflict: Jason truly abandoned by world

Subtext: They left him in third grade – but they won’t leave

Hope/Fear: We hope they get what’s coming to them; doubt it

INT. JASON’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Carl sides with bullies. Cowed, Jason agrees.

Scene Arc: The one man who should make it better makes it a thousand times worse

Essence: Jason’s dad wishes he was dead. DEVASTATED

Conflict: Jason beaten down, broken by father

Subtext: Jason’s biggest wound: his mom’s death – turned against him

Hope/Fear: We hope CARL gets what’s coming to him; no hope

INT. JASON’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Jason watches Mark drop Molly off; they make out. Jason looks at posters of Freddy & Jason on wall. Decides to take action.

Scene Arc (next two): With lovers in his face AGAIN, Jason stands up!

Essence: Jason decides to live out his fantasy. RIGHTEOUS RAGE

Conflict: Jason vows revenge

Subtext: Jason will make his dream reality; make them hurt

Hope/Fear: We… aren’t sure? We hope Jason changes his mind?

END OF ACT I

INT. JASON’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Jason packs weapons in duffel. Takes gun from Carl’s nightstand, and puts on hockey mask.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD – DAY (INTERCUT MATTY AND JASON’S CARS)

Jason follows Matty’s car. Trapped by overflowing river, Matty and group get out and hike into woods.

Scene Arc: From Jason creeping behind, to Matt and crew stopped by water, and Jason almost getting caught.

Essence: Jason tries to keep up, and not be seen.

Conflict: Jason can’t get caught!

Subtext: Jason’s taken this trip before… (flashes?)

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason doesn’t get caught. We fear they’re going to spot him.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Trails of blue liquid in the water. Matty mentions military base nearby, says they can’t swim in river at cabin.

Scene Arc (group in woods): From complaining about mud, to a little scared of graveyard, to Hack’s danger.

Essence: Something is in the water, and someone’s robbing graves. And Hack is WRONG.

Conflict: Hack will torment anyone.

Subtext: What’s in the water? Why are these graves empty?

Hope/Fear: We hope Matt is right to dismiss the water/graves. We fear there’s more going on.

EXT. CIVIL WAR GRAVEYARD – DAY

Graves have been dug up! Thieves, Matty says. Hack pushes Chet in an empty grave. Matty has to get him out.

EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

Jason falls into same grave as Chet. Panics – claustrophobia. Finds his own way out.

Scene Arc: Jason desperate to keep up, to having to escape!

Essence: Jason trapped in a grave, has to use brains to get out.

Conflict: Jason battles his claustrophobia

Subtext: This is how Jason ALWAYS feels.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason gets out/we fear his own phobia will trap him.

EXT. CABIN – DAY

Matt’s older sister MAGGIE, boyfriend TOP are there – They jump in lake despite Matty’s warning.

Scene Arc: From arriving at cabin, to “oh shit, not her.”

Essence: Matt loses control of the group.

Conflict: Matt and Maggie do NOT get along.

Subtext: Maggie always makes fun of Matt being a Momma’s boy and following the “rules”

Hope/Fear: We hope Matt doesn’t do something stupid. We fear Maggie jumping in lake won’t end well.

EXT. WOODS – DRAIN PIPE – DAY

Jason stows duffel in drain pipe. Sees “3 M’s Forever” carved into tree. Hacks at it with machete.

Scene Arc: Jason reliving past, trying to destroy it

Essence: Jason’s rage is re-stoked!

Conflict: Jason dealing with the betrayal of his friends

Subtext: “3 M’s” was last time Jason belonged

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason can mend his friendships; we fear he’s gone off the deep end

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Jason sees Cabin below. Watches “fun” enviously.

Scene Arc (with next 1): From Jason’s assumptions about mean bullies, to much more divided group dynamics

Essence: Jason’s reality isn’t the only one (what SPECIFICALLY do I want to show here)

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear:

CABIN SCENES (INTERCUT JASON WATCHING/GROUP INTERACTING)

Jason watches “bullies” interact. We see the real scenes going on (discrepancy between what Jason SEES, and what we HEAR when we’re with the group – don’t know what these scenes are, though…)

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Jason sees Hack kill a raccoon with a sharp stick.

Scene Arc: From Jason psyching himself up, to encountering a REAL sociopath

Essence: Jason isn’t the one everyone should be scared of

Conflict: How will Jason survive an encounter with Hack?

Subtext: This is what makes Hack happy

Hope/Fear: We hope Hack doesn’t see Jason; we fear he will

EXT. HOUSE/WOODS

Matt approaches Molly, who’s in a mood. She doesn’t want Hack there, but Matt says he’s family. Tension.

Scene Arc: From bickering couple, to Matt confessing weakness

Essence: Even Matt is afraid of Hack

Conflict: Matt’s family makes Molly uncomfortable

Subtext: Is this who they were meant to be?

Hope/Fear: We hope Matt stands up for himself (and Jason)/hope Hack doesn’t do something really bad; we fear Hack will find out

EXT. WOODS – DUSK

Jason tries to kill CHET. Can’t. Chet sees Jason, and mocks him, wondering what he’s doing there. Chet killed by Zombie!

Hack kills zombie. Finds Jason’s weapons. Hack takes machete, puts it to Jason’s throat.

Scene Arc: From Jason the Killer, to Jason the loser, to zombies and Hack the Maniac

Essence: The villains just switched;

Conflict: Jason vs morality; Jason realizing he was in way over his head; oh yeah, and zombies!

Subtext: This is what a maniac is

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason DOESN’T kill Chet. We hope he DOES kill Hack; we fear what Hack will do next; and we’re afraid of zombies in the woods

INT. CABIN – NIGHT

Hack brings Jason inside. Tells no one about the weapons. Jason tries to escape, they won’t let him. Molly defends Jason, Matty is silent.

A few of group leave to find Chet – he’s hogging the weed. Everyone ignores Jason’s warnings of zombies.

Scene Arc: Jason thrown to the wolves, has to tapdance; to Jason being ignored when he tries to save them

Essence: Jason has a bullseye on his back – no one better see it

Conflict: Jason has to lie to stay alive; Group ignores the truth, and Hack doesn’t care

Subtext: Jason was going to kill them; now he has to save them

Hope/Fear: We hope no one finds out why Jason was there; we fear he’ll ruin his chance with Molly

END OF ACT II

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

Alan/Astrid look for Chet. Cut back and forth with various groups. JUMP SCARES, etc.

Scene Arc (with next two): From irritated teens, to growing sense of dread

Essence: Things are about to get out of control

Conflict: Group ignoring signs in front of their face; Astrid vs Zombies (a loss)

Subtext: Jason was right…

Hope/Fear: We hope they figure it out; we fear someone’s going to die

INT. CABIN – NIGHT

Matt probes Jason to see why he really came here. Jason won’t talk. Matt is pissed.

Scene Arc: Two one-time friends alone for first time; Matt thinks Jason did this to himself; Jason feels betrayed

Essence: Can they ever talk to each other for real?

Conflict: Two different versions of history

Subtext: Who’s in the right, here?

Hope/Fear: We hope these two get over their past; we fear Matt will bully Jason again

ASTRID screams in horror.

EXT. CABIN – NIGHT

Group looks for Astrid. Finds one sandal.

INT. CABIN – NIGHT

Debate on whether Astrid’s fucking with them. Top leaps from couch, now a zombie. Top kills _____.

Jason traps Top in a corner. Matty smashes his skull in with a bowling ball. Big fight with Maggie.

Scene Arc: From still confused, to murder and zombies IN THE HOUSE

Essence: Cozy shack is now a death-room

Conflict: Fight for survival; Matt vs Maggie (he killed her BF, after all)

Subtext: Matt was always the mature one

Hope/Fear: We hope they stay together as a group; we fear they’ll start fighting

INT. CABIN – PORCH

Jason flips on flood lights. Zombies turn towards light. Matty goes to turn off lights: Power goes out!

Scene Arc: From realizing how bad this is; to it just got WORSE; to Jason having the only plan

Essence: Jason takes a risk (step 1 in moral journey)

Conflict: Zombies are coming; Jason risks them finding out

Subtext: Jason’s handing over his weapons; they’re going to find out! HOW do they get them?

Hope/Fear: We hope they find a way to defend themselves; we hope Jason doesn’t pay for taking the risk

INT. CABIN – KITCHEN

Matty and Jason find flashlights. Group searches for weapons, can’t find anything. Jason says he’s got some.

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT

Matty and Jason go into drain pipe in basement. Jason balks, scared. Matty talks him through it.

Scene Arc (with next four): From terrified loser and judgmental jock, to two friends starting to remember…

Essence: There may be something left to salvage

Conflict: Jason dealing with fear (history with CARL re: claustrophobia); connecting with Matt reminds Jason of what was taken from him BY Matt

Subtext: How do you let go of years of hatred?

Hope/Fear: We hope they find a way to be friends; we fear what will happen when Matt finds out the truth

INT. CABIN – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Argument over whether to defend themselves or make a run for it. Molly suggests they shut up and wait for Matt and Jason. Hack mocks her faith in Jason.

Scene Arc: From leaderless, scared teens, to Molly taking control of the group

Essence: Molly’s got mettle

Conflict: Hack lurks in background; everyone thinks they’ve got the best idea

Subtext: Without Matt, this group is lost?

Hope/Fear: We hope they listen to Molly; we fear Hack may fuck with things (HOW??)

INT. PIPE – NIGHT

Matt and Jason move through underground pipe. Jason attacks Matt’s group. Matty defensive.

EXT. CABIN/WOODS – NIGHT

Jason and Matty get duffel bag. Chased back down tunnel, shove something on top of trap door. That way out is gone.

INT. CABIN – NIGHT

They distribute weapons. Hack pulls gun out – Jason’s cover is blown. HUGE fight!

Scene Arc: From Jason the hero, to Jason the murderous freak!

Essence: No one trusts Jason now

Conflict: Jason was there to kill them! Hack enjoys the chaos!

Subtext: So much for “making a connection” now…

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason can mend things with Matt and Molly; we fear there’s no more hope

INT. CABIN – KITCHEN – NIGHT

Maggie moans – blue leaks from her tattoo. Hack grabs flail, and rips Maggie’s head off.

Matt grabs weapon and challenges Hack for killing his sister. Jason and Molly keep them from fighting. Hack turns on Jason…

Scene Arc: From a sister in need; to a sociopath revealed; to the true enemy of the group appearing

Essence: The rules of society are gone

Conflict: Hack plays by jungle rules; Matt and Hack are enemies

Subtext: This is what Hack wanted all along

Hope/Fear: we hope Hack doesn’t kill everyone else; we fear he’s going to make things worse; also, we hope no one else is infected…

INT. CABIN – NIGHT

Zombies break in. Group runs upstairs. Hack is gone.

Scene Arc (with next one): From loss of safety, to desperation time!

Essence: The battle lines are clear now

Conflict: They’re trapped like cattle

Subtext: Where’s Hack?

Hope/Fear: We hope there’s a way out of here; we fear where Hack has gone to

INT. 2ND FLOOR STAIRWELL

Kids fill stairs with stuff. No one’s getting up there.

INT. CABIN – 2ND FLOOR

Jason worries about the servants passage. Matty says no zombie would know. Passages go to kitchen – not a way out.

Scene Arc: From “safe for now”, to the REAL discussion about Jason’s treatment over the years

Essence: WE ALL SUCK

Conflict: Jason confronts his bullies

Subtext: Do things have to get this bad to bring people together?

Hope/Fear: We hope this group finds a way to unite; we fear this won’t last

INT. CABIN – UPSTAIRS PANTRY (?)

Group blames Jason for bringing zombies. Jason erupts, letting everyone know what life is like for him.

INT. CABIN – 2ND FLOOR LIBRARY

Molly apologizes to Jason. Defends Matt: “You don’t know what he went through.” Ends in argument, Jason stalks off.

Scene Arc: From a thaw with Molly; to Jason blaming her for taking “Matt’s side”, and shutting her out

Essence: An extended hand, slapped away

Conflict: Jason needs to confront his OWN responsibility

Subtext: What DID Matt go through?

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason grows up; we fear Molly will give up on him

INT. MARK’S BEDROOM

Matt confesses to Jason how scared of Hack he is.

Scene Arc: From another Jason confrontation, to Matt showing why he’s a leader; Matt confesses, and Jason accepts

Essence: Two old friends bury the hatchet

Conflict: Letting the walls down, being vulnerable

Subtext: Again… where is Hack?

Hope/Fear: We hope this friendship survives; we fear Hack isn’t done yet

INT. BASEMENT

Hack lifts trap door, and lets Zombies in. Hack lets one bite him – then rips its head off. Looks at his arm, and waits.

Scene Arc: From a betraying human, to Hack acquiring “superpowers” and becoming a true monster

Essence: Hack chooses to be a zombie

Conflict: How will group deal with “new Hack”?

Subtext: This is who Hack was all along

Hope/Fear: We hope Hack doesn’t start leading the zombies; we fear he will

INT. CABIN – UPSTAIRS PANTRY/LIBRARY (?)

Alan comes in with bow and arrow set. Matty won silver medal in third grade – Jason won gold. (this is stupid)

Scene Arc: From another sign of Matt’s superiority, to group realizing there’s more to Jason than meets the eye

Essence: Jason’s not such a loser

Conflict:

Subtext: They need Jason?

Hope/Fear:

INT. KITCHEN

Zombie-Hack appears. Slides wall panel open. Passage up.

Scene Arc (with next 4): From Hack launching a surprise; to group working together to stay alive; to trapped in the attic

Essence: The shit’s hit the fan; the “bad guy” just got worse

Conflict: Zombie-Hack on the attack

Subtext: How do you deal with a SMART zombie?

Hope/Fear: We hope Hack dies; we fear the group is doomed

END ACT III

INT. CABIN – UPSTAIRS PANTRY/LIBRARY (?)

Zombies – led by Hack – flood the hall. Group on the run –

INT. CABIN – FAR UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

Group escapes from zombies by climbing ladder to attic.

INT. ATTIC/CRAWLSPACE

Trapped. Zombies climb ladder. They try and get thick attic window open. Group escapes out attic window, onto…

EXT. ROOF – NIGHT

Jason kills Zombie-Hack, and saves Matty and Molly.

Scene Arc:

Essence: Jason the hero

Conflict: Jason faces his fears, in the flesh

Subtext: Hack is an unfeeling, uncaring monster – like Jason’s dad

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason takes his head off! We fear he’ll lose

EXT. ROOF

They’re still on roof, with house surrounded by zombies. Jason shoots arrow through tree on far side of lake/river. They rappel down, and escape into woods.

Scene Arc: From trapped on the roof, to Jason to the rescue

Essence: Jason is a new man

Conflict: Brains vs … brainless

Subtext: Jason’s dreams coming true

Hope/Fear: We hope Jason makes it; we fear he’ll die

EXT. ZOMBIE GRAVEYARD

They arrive at graveyard, surrounded. CONFEDERATE Zombies attack Union Zombies. Kids sneak off in the chaos.

Scene Arc: From a narrow escape; to utter hopelessness; to a little bit of luck

Essence: Sometimes, the mouse has the right idea

Conflict: The Civil War lives on!

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: we hope they find a way out – we don’t see it

EXT. ROAD – DAWN

They siphon gas from Jason’s upside-down car, into Matty’s car. Matty worries what Jason’s dad will do. Jason shrugs. “Guess we’ll have a talk.”

OR… State College comes up – of course Jason’s going. Matty suggests they room together.

Scene Arc: Not sure about this. How DO I want things to end?

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear:

[Linda Anderson]

Linda Anderson’s Scene Requirements

Vision for your success from this program:

Audiences around the world view and love my meaningful screenplays—one of the most satisfying and energizing accomplishments of my life.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that this was the hardest lesson in WIM so far but one of the most beneficial. Showed me where to cut and shape scenes.

Slugline and short description of what happens in the scene.

NOTE: I did the assignment for all the scenes but only posted Act 1 here.

Opening

1. Scene Arc: 1996. A drug dealer aims a gun at Allen’s head. His mentor, Bruce, drives up. Bruce chastises Allen for making a dangerous rookie mistake by chasing without backup.

EXT. INNER CITY HOUSING PROJECT – NIGHT

Essence: Allen chases a drug dealer without backup

Conflict: Gun pointed at Allen’s head; Bruce reprimanding him

Subtext: Allen miscalculates how much danger he’s in

Hope/fear: Allen hopes to catch the criminal. He fears getting shot in the head.

2. Scene Arc: Allen checks on his children and wife, Linda, and plays with his dog to help calm him. Linda wakes up and asks about his shift. He doesn’t tell her he almost got killed.

INT. ALLEN’S HOME – DAY

Essence: Allen needs to shake off the night’s near-death experience

Conflict: He doesn’t confide in his wife

Subtext: He’s very private and wants to protect Linda

Hope/fear: He hopes he’ll shake off what happened. He fears Linda will worry.

Inciting Incident

3. Scene Arc: Minneapolis, 2006. Allen suffers from PTSD and has a violent dream memory of the opening scene. Linda jumps out of bed and gently wakes him. He won’t talk about it.

INT. HOME – DAY

Essence: Ten years later, Allen’s violent police experiences result in PTSD nightmares.

Conflict: Linda’s safety is at stake when he thrashes around during PTSD

Subtext: He sees PTSD as a weakness

Hope/fear: He hopes the PTSD will go away. He fears he’ll never be healed.

Act 1

4. Scene Arc: An abandoned cocker spaniel sits on the side of a road, drenched in storm. Bikers on Harleys pick him up. They leave him at an animal shelter in an outdoor cage.

EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT

Essence: Bikers bring an abandoned cocker spaniel to an animal shelter and leave him there

Conflict: The loud motorcycle scares the dog.

Subtext: He doesn’t know what’s happening to him.

Hope/fear: He’s terrified.

5. Scene Arc: Linda and Allen hang a portrait of their previous dog, Taylor, with their bird and two cats watching. Allen can’t stop grieving over Taylor’s death. Linda suggests going to the animal shelter where they volunteer—just to look. Allen doesn’t like the idea.

INT. HOME – DAY

Essence: Allen and Linda are animal lovers with a pet family and they’re missing Taylor.

Conflict: Allen and Linda don’t agree that it’s time to look for another dog.

Subtext: Allen is super sensitive to loss of loved ones

Hope: Linda hopes a new dog will heal. Allen fears a new dog will make the pain worse.

6. Scene Arc: Linda spots a super-cute cocker spaniel and convinces Allen to meet the dog. After hearing “Harley’s” history, Allen still has doubts, but they impulsively adopt him. Linda inwardly sees a light surge through them as their new family unit forms.

INT. ANIMAL SHELTER – DAY

Essence: Allen and Linda adopt Harley

Conflict: Linda has to persuade Allen to meet the dog.

Subtext: Linda senses something significant about this dog entering their lives

Hope: Allen hopes he will give Harley a loving home. He fears loving and losing another dog.

7. Scene Arc: Harley growls at bikers on Harley motorcycles on the way home from the shelter. At the park, Harley jumps into a pile of autumn leaves. They decide to name him Leaf. Allen promises to always take care of him.

EXT. CAR AND PARK – DAY

Essence: Harley makes it clear the name the animal shelter gave him doesn’t fit.

Conflict: Leaf hates Harleys.

Subtext: Leaf has secrets and invisible wounds. Allen doesn’t make commitments lightly.

Hope: They want to give the dog a good home. They fear comparing him with Taylor.

8. Scene Arc: They take Leaf to the pet store for dog food. Leaf picks out a stuffed toy and carries it in his mouth to checkout. He pees on bags of dog food, and Allen has to clean up.

INT. PET FOOD STORY – DAY

Essence: Leaf’s first trip to the pet store shows he expresses strong preferences.

Conflict: Leaf’s peeing may mean he wont’ be easy to assimilate into their lifestyles.

Subtext: Leaf is an independent thinker.

Hope/Fear: Allen hopes Leaf will settle down. He fears a bumpy ride.

9. Scene Arc: Allen and Linda bring Leaf home. The cats hiss at him and the bird squawks. Leaf carries the toy in his mouth while looking confused and exploring the house.

INT. HOME – DAY

Essence: Leaf is introduced to the other pets. They instantly don’t like him there.

Conflict: The pets make it clear Leaf is an intruder.

Subtext: This might be Leaf’s first toy ever.

Hope/Fear: They hope Leaf and their other pets will work things out. They fear chaos.

10. Scene Arc: First night, Leaf wakes up at midnight howling like a wolf. Allen walks Leaf outside. He doesn’t relieve himself. Back in the house, he pees on the carpet. Allen takes Leaf to his home office, puts him on his lap, presses him to his heart, and sings a soothing song to him until Leaf falls asleep.

INT. HOME – DAY

Essence: Leaf shows he may have been only an outdoor dog.

Conflict: He may not be housebroken

Subtext: His loud howls express terror.

Hope/Fear: Allen hopes to help Leaf adjust to their home. He fears it’s going to be a tough slog.

11. Scene Arc: Allen takes Leaf for a walk. He growls at people and lunges at a large white man. He tries to bite bicycle tires. Allen is concerned. At home, Leaf wants to play.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

Essence: Leaf shows aggression which may be triggered by his past.

Conflict: Leaf looks like he’ll bite when he’s scared.

Subtext: Leaf fears large white men. Bicycle tires look like motorcycle tires.

Hope/Fear: Allen hopes Leaf’s aggressiveness will subside. He fears Leaf will bite someone and be euthanized.

12. Scene Arc: Linda and Allen sit at two facing tables for a radio interview about the series of Angel Animals books they wrote. The host is skeptical about spiritual connections between people and animals. Allen holds on to the phone and Leaf as he knocks over the lamp and howls. Linda has to finish the interview alone.

INT. HOME – DAY

Essence: Leaf destroys a phoner interview for promoting Angel Animals books.

Conflict: Leaf reaks pandemonium. The host considers Angel Animals’s premise to be anthropomorphic.

Subtext: Allen struggles to handle Leaf’s severe emotional issues.

Hope/Fear: He hopes Leaf will support their mission. He fears not being able to promote the books if Leaf destroys their interviews.

13. Scene Arc: Split screen show two scenes juxtaposed of Allen and Linda at their favorite coffee shop with captions, “BL = Before Leaf” and “AL = After Leaf. In the AL scene, Leaf is under the table. The contrasting scenes show how their lives have changed. In AL scene, Allen reveals he’s having dizzy spells. Linda convinces him to see their family doctor.

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY and EXT. COFFEE SHOP — DAY

Essence: Leaf’s issues have overtaken their lives and may be making Allen sick.

Conflict: Leaf has turned their home into a war zone.

Subtext: Allen is sensitive to not showing anger and scaring Leaf.

Hope/Fear: Allen hopes they can save their careers and his day job. Linda fears the dizzy spells mean Allen is under too much pressure.

14. Scene Arc. Linda tells her bf, Arlene, a nurse, that Allen’s having dizziness. He walks Leaf in the middle of every night in frigid cold, then sings to him until they both fall asleep. She wonders why Leaf never returns her affection. They’re interrupted by Leaf chasing the cats. Speedy sinks his claws into Leaf’s back. They separate them. Leaf runs to his crate.

INT. HOME – DAY

Essence: Arlene is Linda’s window character for hearing all that’s happening from her POV. Speedy uses his claws to teach Leaf to stop chasing.

Conflict: Speedy lets Leaf know he won’t tolerate chasing.

Subtext: Leaf has natural consequences to his alpha nature.

Hope/Fear: Linda hopes Speedy has fixed the problem. She fears Leaf will escalate.

15. Scene Arc: Allen has a PTSD dream memory of an old man waving a gun from a front porch. Allen didn’t have to shoot. This nightmare, though, showed a tragic outcome with the man shooting Allen in the head. Linda and Allen talk about constant and regrets.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Essence: Allen’s PTSD dream shows an old man waving a gun and shooting him.

Conflict: Did he make right or wrong choices while doing police work?

Subtext: He lacks confidence in his decisions and actions.

Fear: He hopes he kept people safe and didn’t make situations worse. He fears he made mistakes.

Turning Point 1:

16. Scene Arc. Allen is meeting with coworker, Jose. Allen’s family doctor calls. He moves to a deserted hallway to take it. The CAT scan showed an unruptured brain aneurysm that requires brain surgery and could cause a stroke. Allen has a meltdown about the news.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Essence: Allen gets news about an unruptured brain aneurysm and possible stroke

Conflict: His life will be destroyed.

Subtext: Childhood abuse and PTSD dreams of being shot in the head instill fear and dread

Hope/Fear: He hopes the aneurysm won’t burst. He fears dying or being permanently disabled like his father was after his stroke.

[Leona Heraty]

Leona Herary’s Scene Requirements

My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry and my screenplays are produced into fabulous movies, making audiences laugh a lot and making me independently wealthy!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…adding scene requirements makes the scenes dynamic and fun!

Title: Tara vs. the Termo-Lytes
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept: A teenage tour guide with no sense of direction and an extreme fear of bugs takes a wrong turn and leads her group to an abandoned country club overrun by giant mutant termites.

ACT 1:

1. INT. INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN – SAN DIEGO – DAY

Toxic green goo oozes onto some dead termites and they come alive! Big Betty, the queen, turns pink, smiles and grows bigger and the Termo-Lytes grow bigger too.

Scene Arc: Termites are dead then come alive!
Essence: The rebirth of dead termites!
Conflict:
Subtext: The green goo has restorative powers.
Hope/fear: We hope the bugs are benign but we fear they could be evil.

2. INT. INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Big Betty shakes off dust and debris and sharpens her nails and primps in a mirror.

Scene Arc: Big Betty starts off disheveled and she gets pretty.
Essence: Big Betty has a personality.
Conflict:
Subtext: These are not normal termites.
Hope/fear: We hope they’re nice, but we fear they mean harm.

3. EXT./INT. CAR – SAN DIEGO – DAY

A bug flies into Tara’s car. She jumps out, climbs a tree as the bug chases her and her cell phone rings.

Scene Arc: Tara starts out driving and ends up, up a tree.
Essence: Tara is petrified of bugs.
Conflict: Tara vs. the bug.
Subtext: Something made Tara extremely afraid of bugs.
Hope/fear: We hope she’s okay, but we fear she may get stung.

4. EXT. – TARA’S BACKYARD – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara’s friends, and parents are enjoying the pool, and Davy. Tara munches on Cheez-Its and Davy pops out, startles her as she drops her box of crackers.

Scene Arc: Tara enters the back yard calm and is frightened when Davy pops out.
Essence: Davy is a pest.
Conflict: Tara wants to chill out and Davy won’t leave her alone.
Subtext: Why is this kid so annoying and who is he?
Hope/fear: We hope Tara doesn’t spill her Cheez-Its but we fear she will.

5. EXT. – TARA’S BACKYARD – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Davy annoys Tara then fixes the Tiki torches and the pool filter.

Scene Arc: Davy is a pest but redeems himself.
Essence: Davy has some good qualities.
Conflict: Tara wants Davy to leave but doesn’t want to say so.
Subtext: Davy is a pest most of the time.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy will redeem himself but we’re afraid he’ll be asked to leave.

6. EXT./INT. TARA’S HOUSE – SAN DIEGO – DAY
It rain. Everyone runs inside. Davy takes over the remote. He orders THEM! Tara scowls and grabs the remote and changes to ESPN golf.

Scene Arc: It’s a great pool party, then it rains!
Essence: Davy likes bug movies and Tara hates them
Conflict: Davy tries to control the remote but Tara takes it away.
Subtext: Davy acts like he lives there.
Hope/fear: We hope they can get along but we fear they can’t.

7. EXT./INT. TARA’S HOUSE – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara’s parents remind her of the Home Garden Tour and she’s a back-up driver. She blushes and changes the subject.

Scene Arc: Tara starts out relaxed and ends up embarrassed.
Essence: Tara is sensitive about the tour.
Conflict: Tara’s parents want her on stand-by but she doesn’t want to go.
Subtext: Tara doesn’t want to go on the tour.
Hope/fear: We hope Tara will agree to go but we fear she won’t.

8. EXT./ GARDEN CLUB PARKING LOT – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tad, drives up in his beater car to drive for the tour. He’s hung over and falls asleep. Ted gets in the back seat and falls asleep.

Scene Arc: Tad arrives to be the driver but he can’t do it.
Essence: Tad isn’t reliable.
Conflict: Tara’s parents need Tad to drive, but he can’t do it.
Subtext: Tad has a drinking problem.
Hope/fear: We hope Tad can drive for the tour but we don’t think he can do it.

9. EXT./INT. TARA’S HOUSE – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara, Clare and Max load up their car for Disneyland. Tara’s Mom calls and coerces her into being a driver for the home garden tour.

Scene Arc: Tara, Clare and Max are excited about Disneyland then end up sad they can’t go.
Essence: Their plans for fun have been ruined.
Conflict: They want to go to Disneyland but Tara can’t join them.
Subtext: Tara’s parents are great at coercing her.
Hope/fear: We hope they can go to Disneyland but we fear they can’t go.

ACT 2:

10. EXT./ GARDEN CLUB PARKING LOT – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara arrives at the garden club. Her parents tell her she needs to drive Davy and his grandmother, Meg, on the garden tour and use the map.

Scene Arc: Tara still wants to go to Disneyland. She agrees to drive the home garden tour instead.
Essence: Tara’s plans have been dashed.
Conflict: Tara wants to go to Disneyland but her parents need her to drive for the home garden tour.
Subtext: Tara can’t say no to her parents.
Hope/fear: We hope Tara can say no to her parents but we fear she can’t say no.

11. EXT./ WINDING ROAD/LAGUNA MOUNTAINS COUNTRY CLUB
The wind blows a map out of Tara’s hands. They drive in circles and argue and end up at an abandoned country club.

Scene Arc: They going in the right direction, then they’re lost.
Essence: They’re lost.
Conflict: Tara thinks she knows the way but Meg says she’s going the wrong way.
Subtext: Tara doesn’t know where she’s going, and she has a bad sense of direction.
Hope/fear: We hope they can find their way to the garden house but we fear they’re lost.

12. EXT./ WINDING ROAD/LAGUNA MOUNTAINS COUNTRY CLUB
Tara jumps back in car, but Davy and Meg won’t get in. She tears out and drives over a rake and pops a tire and she’s stuck.

Scene Arc: The car is driving fine at first, then the tire is popped and they’re stranded.
Essence: They’re stranded.
Conflict: Tara wants to leave but they won’t leave with her.
Subtext: This just isn’t Tara’s day.
Hope/fear: We hope they can leave. We fear that Davy and Meg are going to be left behind.

13. INT. LOBBY — LAGUNA MOUNTAINS COUNTRY CLUB – SAN DIEGO – DAY

Meg and Davy relax in the lobby chairs but Tara said the place gives her the creeps and they should leave. They hear loud HUMMING. They jump and look around, wide-eyed.

Scene Arc: They start out curious and then relax, then scared.
Essence: Something spooky is going on at the abandoned club.
Conflict: Meg and Davy want to stay but Tara wants to leave.
Subtext: Tara is intuitive and feels uneasy for some reason.
Hope/fear: We hope they’re safe at the club but we fear there could be danger.

14. INT. TUNNEL UNDER LOBBY – SAN DIEGO – DAY

We hear a loud BUGS HUMMING and FUNNY LAUGHTER. Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are now 8 feet tall as they dance around.

Scene Arc: We hear bugs humming and then see 8 feet tall termites dancing.
Essence: These are mutant termites!
Conflict:
Subtext: There’s something strange going on here!
Hope/fear: We hope the bugs are friends, but we fear they might be mean.

15. INT. LOBBY – LOBBY/HIDDEN STAIRCASE – SAN DIEGO – DAY

Tara leans against a secret panel by the fireplace, it slides open. She trips and rolls down the staircase and lands at Big Betty’s feet. Meg and Davy follow her.

Scene Arc: Tara starts is in the lobby, then falls through a secret panel.
Essence: The country club is full of secrets!
Conflict: Tara wants to leave and Meg said they should stay and find a phone charger.
Subtext: Meg knows more than she’s letting on.
Hope/fear: We hope they’ll be safe, but we fear the Termo-Lytes are dangerous!

ACT 3

16. INT. TUNNEL UNDER LOBBY – SAN DIEGO – DAY

Tara, Meg and Davy shrink back in terror. The mutant bugs move closer.

Scene Arc: Tara, Meg and Davy went from safe to unsafe.
Essence: Big Betty and the Terma-Lytes may be dangerous!
Conflict: Tara, Meg and Davy want to leave but Big Betty won’t let them.
Subtext: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are dangerous!
Hope/fear: We hope they can leave but we fear they are trapped.

17. INT. TUNNEL UNDER LOBBY – SAN DIEGO – DAY

Big Betty drinks Meg’s green spirulina shake and grows taller. The Termo-Tara hurls Baby Ruth’s down the tunnel and the Termo-Lytes run after the candy bars.

Scene Arc: The Termo-Lytes block their way then move away from them.
Essence: The Termo-Lytes are easy to distract.
Conflict: They want to get away from the Termo-Lytes but maybe they can’t!
Subtext: The Termo-Lytes can’t be trusted. They have ulterior motives.
Hope/fear: We hope Tara, Meg and Davy are OK but we fear they’re in danger.

18. INT. TUNNEL UNDER LOBBY/LOBBY/HALLWAY – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara, Meg and Davy dash up the stairs and into the lobby. Meg points to a hallway that has a sign that says KITCHEN and they rush towards it.

Scene Arc: They start as prisoners to being free.
Essence: Tara is becoming proactive.
Conflict: They wanted to leave but the Termo-Lytes block their way.
Subtext: Tara is creative and getting braver.
Hope/fear: We hope they can get away but we fear they’re prisoners.

19. EXT./INT. BUILDING EXIT DOOR BY POOL/PATIO – SAN DIEGO – DAY
The Termo-Lytes rush towards the pool. A tall totem with a mark that says SUMMER SOLSTICE. They get busy for the summer solstice brunch and ceremony.

Scene Arc: They’re ready to eat Tara, Meg and Davy, then they’re celebrating.
Essence: The Termo-Lytes aren’t your average termites!
Conflict:
Subtext: The Termo-Lytes may be having Tara, Meg and Davy for brunch!
Hope/fear: We hope the Termo-Lytes are herbivores but they might be carnivores!

20. INT. INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN/SPEAKEASY BAR ROOM – SAN DIEGO – DAY
A secret door swings open to a hidden speakeasy bar with booze and a makeshift lab.

Scene Arc: They start in an industrial kitchen and end up in a hidden room.
Essence: This place is full of secret rooms.
Conflict:
Subtext: The makeshift lab and green goo may have revived the Termo-Lytes.
Hope/fear: We hope they can survive but we fear the Termo-Lytes may eat them!

21. EXT. – POOL/PATIO – SAN DIEGO – DAY

Big Betty stops dancing. She pushes a vending machine filled with chocolate near the exit door. She breaks the glass and the candy falls out.

Scene Arc: Big Betty goes from playful to conniving.
Essence: Big Betty is up to no good!
Conflict:
Subtext: Big Betty is hatching an evil plan.
Hope/fear: We hope Tara, Meg and Davy will be OK, but we fear they’re in danger!

22. INT. SPEAKEASY BAR ROOM/INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN/HALLWAY/EXIT DOOR
Davy smells the chocolate and follows his nose towards the chocolate bars.

Scene Arc: Davy starts out safe then ends up in danger.
Essence: Davy is being tricked!
Conflict:
Subtext: Davy is moving towards danger.
Hope/fear: We wish Davy wouldn’t follow his nose, but we fear he will.

23. EXT. EXIT DOOR/POOL/PATIO – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Davy exits the building and runs towards the candy bars. Big Betty snatches him up. Davy SCREAMS FOR HELP!

Scene Arc: Davy is safe in the building but then is in danger by the pool.
Essence: Davy is being lured into danger by Big Betty.
Conflict: We don’t want him to leave the building but he is lured away anyway.
Subtext: Davy is in danger.
Hope/fear: We hope he will survive but we fear the Termo-Lytes will eat him!

ACT 4:

24. INT. SPEAKEASY BAR
They hear Davy’s screams for help and rush outside. Big Betty tosses Davy in the pool.

Scene Arc: Davy is safe then he’s tossed in a murky pool
Essence: Davy is going to be brunch!
Conflict: Davy tries to get out of the pool but Big Betty stops him.
Subtext: The Termo-Lytes are sinister.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy will be OK but we fear he will drown.

25. EXT. PATH TO CADDY SHACK/CADDY SHACK/POOL PATIO
They rush to the caddy shack, grab some golf clubs and golf balls and jump in a golf cart and roll downhill over Big Betty’s toes.

Scene Arc: They start out safe, then out of danger, then back in danger.
Essence: Tara has a plan to rescue Davy.
Conflict: Tara is trying to rescue Davy but she only enrages Big Betty.
Subtext: Tara is getting braver and more creative.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy will be okay but we fear he’ll drown.

26. EXT. POOL/PATIO/CABANA/TUNNEL
Big Betty grabs Davy and rushes towards and an cabana, where she enters it and opens a secret door that leads to a tunnel.

Scene Arc: Davy starts out in the pool and now he’s being carried away!
Essence: Davy is still in danger!
Conflict: Davy tries to get out of Big Betty’s grasp but she won’t let him go.
Subtext: Big Betty has plans for Davy!
Hope/fear: We hope Davy will survive but we fear he won’t!

27. INT. CAVE ON MOUNTAINSIDE
The cave is Big Betty’s fancy bedroom. She ties up Davy with a large ball of string.

Scene Arc: Davy is kidnapped then he gets tied up.
Essence: Davy is in danger!
Conflict: Davy tries to get away but Big Betty holds him tightly.
Subtext: Big Betty’s beautiful bedroom could be deadly for Davy.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy can escape but we fear he can’t get away.

28. INT. SPEAKEASY BAR ROOM
Tara grabs cloth napkins, bottles of booze and Meg’s lighter.

Scene Arc: Tara starts with no plan and ends up with a plan.
Essence: Tara is fighting back against the Termo-Lytes.
Conflict:
Subtext: Tara is creative and will fight back.
Hope/fear: We hope Tara’s plan will work but we worry that it won’t.

29. EXIT DOOR/POOL/PATIO – SAN DIEGO – DAY
Tara lights a Molotov cocktail and throws it at the Termo-Lytes. They scatter. She pulls Meg out of the pool and says she’ll meet her soon at the caddy shack.

Scene Arc: Meg starts out a prisoner and ends up rescued.
Essence: Tara has a plan to defeat the Termo-Lytes.
Conflict: Big Betty tries to stop Tara but Tara wins.
Subtext: Tara is becoming assertive and creative.
Hope/fear: We hope Meg will be ok but we fear for her safety.

30. TUNNEL/CAVE ON MOUNTAINSIDE
Tara throws a Molotov cocktail at Big Betty and rescues Davy. They run away.

Scene Arc: Davy is a prisoner but ends up rescued by Tara.
Essence: Tara is brave and creative.
Conflict: Big Betty tries to stop Tara but Tara wins.
Subtext: Tara is becoming assertive and creative.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy will be ok but we fear for his safety.

31. INT. TUNNEL
Tara and Davy are chased by Big Betty and Big Betty mocks Tara for her fear of bugs.

Scene Arc: Tara and Davy start at Big Betty’s bedroom and end up in the tunnel.
Essence: Tara is getting braver!
Conflict: Tara and Davy are trying to escape but Big Betty is trying to catch them.
Subtext: Big Betty knows something about Tara’s childhood wound.
Hope/fear: We hope they get away but we fear Big Betty will catch them.

32. EXT. TUNNEL/POOL/PATIO
Davy hides and sticks out a pool pole/net and trips Big Betty. She rolls into the pool and flails around the Termo-Lytes rush back to help her.

Scene Arc: Big Betty is fine then ends up in the pool.
Essence: Big Betty can’t swim.
Conflict: Davy tries to trip Big Betty but the Termo-Lytes try to rescue her.
Subtext: Davy is creative and brave.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy is safe but we fear Big Betty will get him!

33. Ext. POOL/PATIO/CADDY SHACK/INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN/SPEAKEASY BAR
Tara, Davy and Meg grab some croquet balls, golf balls, mallets and golf clubs. They rush to the speakeasy bar and dip the ball in olive oil and then in turmeric.

Scene Arc: They start at the caddy shack and end up in the speakeasy bar with a plan.
Essence: They have a plan to defeat the Termo-Lytes!
Conflict: The Termo-Lytes are nearby and they need to evade them.
Subtext: They have a creative plan.
Hope/fear: We hope their plan will work but we fear it won’t work.

34. INT. HALLWAY/INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN/SPEAKEASY BAR ROOM
Tara, Meg and Davy find stuff the croquet and golf balls in their backpacks and rush out a side door and sneak up to the hedges around the pool.

Scene Arc: They start out in the speakeasy bar and end up near the pool
Essence: They plan to kill the Termo-Lytes.
Conflict: They’re hiding but they might be seen by the Termo-Lytes.
Subtext: They’re in danger.
Hope/fear: We hope they won’t be seen but we fear the Termo-Lytes will hear them.

35. EXT. POOL/PATIO
Tara step forward and hurls the poisoned croquet and golf balls at the Termo-Lytes. Big Betty grabs Davy and Meg and puts them in the pot. They are the main course.

Scene Arc: Davy and Meg start out safe and end up as the main course!
Essence: Davy and Meg are in danger!
Conflict: Tara is trying to kill Big Betty but she outsmarts them!
Subtext: Big Betty is devious and evil.
Hope/fear: We hope Davy and Meg survive but we fear they will perish.

36. EXT. POOL/PATIO
Big Betty lights a fire under the pot. Tara hits a golf ball and it goes up a Termo-Lyte’s nose and it rolls over and dies. She rescues Meg and Davy and they start to run away.

Scene Arc: A Termo-Lyte is alive, then it dies.
Essence: Tara’s turmeric golf ball can kill a Termo-Lyte!
Conflict: Big Betty is trying to eat Davy and Meg for lunch.Tara is trying to save them.
Subtext: Tara is no longer afraid of bugs!
Hope/fear: We hope Tara’s turmeric golf ball kills the Termo-Lytes but we fear it won’t.

37. EXT. POOL/PATIO
Big Betty picks up Tara. Tara hurls a croquet ball up Big Betty’s nose and she dies.

Scene Arc: Tara is in danger then she kills Big Betty.
Essence: Tara is brave and fights back.
Conflict: Big Betty is going to eat Tara but Tara fight back.
Subtext: Tara is no longer afraid of bugs, even giant mutant bugs!
Hope/fear: We hope Tara’s turmeric croquet ball works but we fear it won’t.

38. EXT. FOUNTAIN AT COUNTRY CLUB MAIN ENTRANCE
Tara, Meg and Davy are safe but still stranded. Tad, Tara’s parents, and Clare and Max drives up in his hippy van to give them a ride home.

Scene Arc: They go from stranded to rescued by Tad.
Essence: Tad is more than an old drunken hippy, he loves Meg!
Conflict:
Subtext: There’s more to Tad than meets the eye!
Hope/fear: We hope they find a way home but we fear they’re stranded.

39. INT. INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN/SPEAKEASY BAR ROOM

ONE MONTH LATER: A rat knocks another jar of green goo on the floor. The jar breaks and the green goo seeps toward a hole in a baseboard, where termites eat away on the wood…the goo starts to cover them and they start to come alive and grow bigger.

Scene Arc: The termites are dead, then they’re revived, and the cycle continues!
Essence: The green goo revives dead termites.
Conflict:
Subtext: The Termo-Lytes will be back!
Hope/fear: We hope the termites don’t come to life, but we fear they will.

[Joseph McGloin]

Joe McGloin’s Scene Requirements

Vision: I am a talented, highly regarded, efficient, relaxed, happy, WGA screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is though simple, how extremely time-consuming each step is. Fun for sure, but demanding many hours to complete. So I also learned that I need much more time to do these later pars of the outline process than the early parts.

ACT I

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Angel Max flips through a series of potential assignments on earth.

Scene Arc: From Max paging through a series of potential assignments to not liking any

Essence: Max is taking his next assignment

Conflict: He doesn’t like any; very picky and arrogant

Subtext: Max Is an arrogant prima donna

Hope/fear: Max will take an assignment; he refuses to

INT. STATE POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Jane greets her co-workers

Scene Arc: Jane breezes into the office with cool detachment and maintains that attitude toward all.

Essence: Jane is a political aide with little emotional investment

Conflict: Jane works with people she stays aloof from

Subtext: Jane has intimacy issues

Hope/fear: Jane will let down her guard; Jane will stay emotionally isolated

INCITING INCIDENT

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Max is given the assignment he has the biggest issue with

Scene Arc: from Max without an assignment yet to receiving one

Essence: Max doesn’t have a choice; Clarence assigns, or is ordered to assign

Conflict: Max protests; Clarence agrees

Subtext: Max is given the assignment he needs

Hope/fear: Max will accept, Max will refuse or otherwise sabotage the assignment

INT. STATE POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Jane picks up Max’s upset

Essence: Jane and Max are now connected

Conflict: Jane doesn’t like the negative feeling but allows the feeling to enter her space

Subtext: Jane is open to intimacy

Hope/Fear: Jane will stay open/she will shut it down

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence feels a more senior angel is needed for this important assignment but is overruled

Essence: Clarence reacts to being overruled with an extreme but harmless weather event

Conflict: Accept the judgment or appeal it

Subtext: Clarence’s decisions are not the final word

Hope/fear: Clarence will not react negatively to Max/he will react

INT. BAR – DAY

Scene Arc: A nice guy makes a date with Jane

Essence: Jane reluctantly accepts a date

Conflict: The man wants a date; Jane is reluctant, which she confides to a co-worker

Subtext: Jane believes a relationship will interfere with her career

Hope/fear: Jane will go out with the guy/she will sabotage the date

INT. STATE POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Max in a physical body tests Jane who foils his intrusive tests

Essence: Max is a heavy-handed guardian angel

Conflict: Max interferes with Jane’s day-to-day life to see what his charge is made of

Subtext: Max is intrusive; Jane is his match

Hope/fear: they will get together/ they won’t

INT. BAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Jane’s co-worker wants the low-down on the date, but Jane shood him up

Essence: Jane never intended to keep the date

Conflict: Co-worker can’t believe Jane’s cold response

Subtext: Jane has serious relationship issues

Hope/fear: Jane will warm to her suitors/ Jane won’t

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

TURNING POINT

Scene Arc: Jane is manipulated into being the fall guy for a poorly written bill

Essence: Clarence won’t lift a finger to help Max prevent Jane’s imminent political fall

Conflict: Clarence turns a deaf ear to Max’s call for assistance

Subtext: Clarence will prove that Max isn’t up to the job from the get go

Hope/fear: Max will succeed on his own with his first task/Max will fail

ACT II

INT. STATE POLITICAL OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Max is no help at all with his heavy-handed influence and Jane turns the tables on her nasty co-workers

Essence: Jane can take care of herself in the political world

Conflict: Jane will not be the fall guy for a poorly prepared bill

Subtext: Jane is adept at political intrigue without being mean

Hope/fear: Jane will not be the fall guy/ She will be the fall guy

INT. STATE POLITICAL OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Jane re-writes the bill with help from her friendly co-worker and pizza

Essence: Jane counters her attackers

Conflict: Jane will not be the fall guy

Subtext: Jane can protect herself in the political arena without harming others

Hope/fear: Jane will get the bill passed/ Jane won’t

EXT. HEAVAN – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence and Max clash over Max’s assignment until Clarence gets the crushing last word

Essence: Things come to a head between Max and Clarence

Conflict: Max requests help with his assignment but Clarence turns a deaf ear

Subtext: Clarence wants Max to fail

Hope/fear: Max will fail/Max will succeed without Clarence’s help

INT. STATE CONGRESS BUILDING – DAY

Scene Arc: The bill passes and Jane is a hero

Essence: Jane turns the tables on her co-workers

Conflict: Jane vs. her co-workers

Subtext: Jane holds her own in a tough political environment

Hope/fear: The bill will pass/the bill will fail

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Jane takes Max to dinner to enlist him in her efforts to avoid being blind-sided by her co-workers and to see her party’s constituents as individuals by forming a relationship with one.

Essence: Jane needs to have a personal relationship

Conflict: Jane fears a relationship while realizing her need for one – to improve her understanding of her party’s constituents

Subtext: Jane is open to a relationship

Hope/fear: Jane will stay open/ Max will shut her down again

INT. STATE POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Max and Jane clash over the bill’s effectiveness causing a break in their previous harmony

Essence: Max and Jane have a falling out

Conflict: Max is forceful, Jane is about consensus building

Subtext: Max and Jane may not get together

Hope/fear: They will get together/they won’t

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence communicates to higher authorities that the Guardian Angel program is having serious effectiveness issues curbing humanity’s self-destruction

Essence: The Guardian Angel program is faltering

Conflict: Clarence vs. a hierarchy

Subtext: Clarence is closer to what’s really going on and needs to be heard

Hope/fear: the Guardian angel program is working/ the program is faltering

INT. STATE POLITICAL OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Max is forced to wear a human body full-time and realizes how overbearing and manipulative he is

Essence: Max uses his limited skills to try to protect Jane

Conflict: Clarence makes Max stay in his physical body

Subtext: Max is unable to control his manipulation

Hope/fear: Max will realize his ways are not the best/ he will continue with his intrusive ways

Midpoint/Turning Point

INT. STATE POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: When Jane has her boss arrested for vote tampering she is thrust into the national limelight and a new job.

Essence: Jane’s new position and fame pull her away from Max

Conflict: Jane can stay where she is or go to a position with more influence

Subtext: Jane and Max are to be separated

Hope/fear: Jane stays where she is/Jane takes the new job

ACT III

INT. NATIONAL POLITICAL PARTY HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Max gets himself hired as the political aide for Jane

Essence: Jane has a dawning appreciation for Max

Conflict: Max can hover protectively over Jane or step back and work hard for her

Subtext: Max and Jane bond in a new way

Hope/fear: They will grow closer/ they will become supervisor and supervisee

INT. NATIONAL POLITICAL PARTY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Jane goes from being undermined by an intended usurper to mentoring them

Essence: Jane will not stoop to using dirty tricks or lies

Conflict: punish the usurper vs. train them

Subtext: Jane is a different kind of politician

Hope/fear: Jane will lose her job/Jane will keep her job

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence watches Max fight his impulse to interfere with Jane’s life

Essence: Max is learning to control his heavy-handed impulse to direct Jane’s life

Conflict: Max fights his own overbearing tendencies and lets Jane direct her life

Subtext: Clarence has a growing, grudging respect for Max

Hope/fear: Max will stop interfering/ Max will continue his ways

INT. NATIONAL POLITICAL PARTY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Max rises from Jane’s aide to her analyst

Essence: Jane and Max have closer contact than ever before

Conflict: the potential usurper vs. Max for the role of analyst

Subtext: Jane and Max have an opportunity to grow closer

Hope/fear: Jane and Max will grow closer/ they will blow this opportunity

INT. MAX’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: Max confides to Clarence his falling in love, which in Heaven is cause for extraction

Essence: Max is losing his objectivity as a Guardian Angel

Conflict: Max as lover vs. Max as Guardian Angel

Subtext: Max may have to step back as Jane’s Guardian Angel

Hope/fear: Max will lose his role and be extracted/Max will keep his role

INT. CAMPAIGN TRAIL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Max distances himself from his feelings while helping Jane with menial tasks

Essence: Max is gaining control of his heavy-handed approach to Guardian Angel

Conflict: Max fights his feelings of love that may get him extracted

Subtext: Max is falling in love despite its consequences

Hope/fear: Max will continue to fall in love/ Max will curb his feelings

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence watches for an action indicating loss of objectivity that will necessitate extracting Max

Essence: Clarence has mixed feelings about Max now

Conflict: Clarence is rooting for Max to succeed but also wants Max to be true to himself

Subtext: now Clarence wants Max to succeed

Hope/fear: Clarence will pull Max/He will leave Max on earth to continue as Guardian Angel

Turning Point

INT; RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Jane fumbles through an expression of her growing fondness for Max who resigns as her analyst for reasons he will not elaborate

Essence: Max and Jane break up

Conflict: The relationship ends for a reason Max will not divulge, and Jane is hurt again, as she feared would happen

Subtext: Max will sacrifice his love to remain Jane’s Guardian Angel

Hope/fear: Jane and Max will get back together/they will not

ACT IV

INT. MAX’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence reluctantly acknowledges that Max must return to Heaven so another (objective) Angel can be assigned to Jane

Essence: Max will return to Heaven, ending his love affair

Conflict: Max loves Jane but must leave her to ensure her proper guardianship

Subtext: Max is willing to sacrifice himself for the human he loves

Hope/fear: Max can somehow reunite with Jane/ Max will never see Jane again once he dies

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Clarence reports to higher ups his grave concern about humanity’s ability to prevent its self-destruction and its primary salvation appears to be Jane’s continuing to successfully navigate her mission which is now in danger of failure.

Essence: humanity’s future depends on Jane

Conflict: Jane’s loss of love vs. humanity’s survival

Subtext: Jane is key to humanity’s survival

Hope/fear: Humanity will be ok/humanity will self-destruct

INT. NATIONAL POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Jane’s boss accused of wrongdoing is cleared of charges by Jane’s diligence

Essence: Jane saves the election, realizing how many individuals could have been hurt, a breakthrough

Conflict: Jane’s boss, a candidate for president vs. her devious political opponent

Subtext: the better candidate won out

Hope/fear: Jane’s boss will win/the bad guy will win

INT. NATIONAL POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Max shares with Clarence that he has let go of all his desires to shape Jane’s future.

Essence: Max loves Jane unconditionally

Conflict: Max’s love for Jane vs. her need for an objective Guardian Angel

Subtext: Max has learned what it truly means to be a Guardian Angel

Hope/fear: Max and Jane will somehow get back together/they won’t

EXT. NATIONAL POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Jane runs outside to express her love for him as he dies

Essence: Jane loves Max unconditionally

Conflict: Love vs. fear

Subtext: Jane’s love overcomes her fear of emotional pain

Hope/fear: Jane and Max will get together/they won’t

INT. NATIONAL POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Jane announces her decision to leave politics to deal with her pain

Essence: Jane at a crossroad

Conflict: pay attention to her emotions vs. ignore relationships

Subtext: Decision time

Hope/fear: Jane will embrace relationships/she won’t

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Angel hierarchy gives Clarence the task of keeping Jane in politics

Essence: Clarence has to find a way to keep Jane on mission

Conflict: Hierarchy demand vs. Clarence request for help

Subtext: Jane staying in politics is essential

Hope/fear: Clarence will find a solution/ he won’t

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Scene Arc: The Future Screen reveals Jane’s mission as becoming President

Essence: Jane must become president for humanity to survive

Conflict: Jane’s desire vs. Jane’s need/mission

Subtext: Jane must stay in politics

Hope/fear: Jane will stay/she will go

EXT. HEAVEN – HIGHER CHAMBERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Angel Hierarchy passes Clarence’s resolution – a pilot program

Essence: Clarence finds a solution to the Jane leaving politics issue

Conflict: Hierarchy rules vs. Humanity’s need

Subtext: Clarence has changed his mind about Max

Hope/fear: Clarence will find a solution/he won’t

EXT. NATIONAL POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Scene Arc: Max can return to his body to be with Jane

Essence: The rules have changed to a test case for humans and angels both having access to both Earth and Heaven To keep any love feelings from interfering with the guardian role

Conflict: Conservative hierarchy vs. Clarence and the progressives

Subtext: Rules can be changed to meet a deep need

Hope/fear: the pilot program works/it doesn’t

INT. WHITE HOUSE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: The President resigns due to the PTSD of the hard-fought campaign so Jane becomes President

Essence: Jane becomes President

Conflict: How can she become president when she is VP?

Subtext: Jane fulfills her mission

Hope/fear: Jane will rescind her resignation from politics threat/she won’t rescind

INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: Max teaches Jane how to take her first step into Heaven

Essence: Jane joins Max in travelling to Heaven

Conflict: Jane is afraid but Max reassures her that it is easy

Subtext: The program will work and Jane will start a new era of clean politics

Hope/fear: Jane will succeed as President/she will fail.

[Sandra Nelles]

Sandra’s Scene Requirements

Vision: I am doing what I love to do as a writer with several successful produced movies.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to incorporate scene requirements into each scene to increase depth and meaning. Even with doing the empowerment process, this lesson was challenging. I had to cut out several scenes to reduce the outline from 12 pages to 8 pages.

Title: SMUGGLERS JOURNEY

Genre: Drama

ACT 1:

Scene Arc: From police officers speeding down a road to knocking on a house door.

EXT. JEEP – DAY

Jeep with four police officers, speeds down a dirt road to a small remote house. They jump out with guns ready.

Essence: The police are looking for someone.

Conflict: Will someone be shot?

Subtext: Does this person know the police are looking for him?

Hope/Fear: We hope they will be safe. We fear he will be caught or killed.

INT. OFFICE/HOUSE – DAY

Sloane (age 30) relaxes at home watching tv. Knock on the door. Sloane cautiously peaks through the curtain and sees police with rifles.

Essence: The police are here to get Sloane.

Conflict: Will Sloane be shot?

Subtext: Does Sloane know the police are looking for him?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane hides or escapes. We fear he will be killed.

INT. PARENT’S HOUSE – DAY (20 years earlier)

Scene Arc: From Sloane (age 10) and his mother having breakfast to a policeman knocking on the door.

Sloane and his mother are surprised when a policeman knocks on their door. Sloane dashes to his room and slips under the covers.

Essence: The police are here to take Sloane to school.

Conflict: Sloane has been truant for 40-days.

Subtext: Sloane pretends to be sick. He hates school. His mother is a lonely alcoholic.

Hope/Fear: We hope they will be okay. We fear the police will arrest his mother and take Sloane away.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane (age 10) and his mother having dinner to them running out of the restaurant.

Sloane and his mother have dinner at a nice restaurant. Sloane wants dessert and runs out of the restaurant when his mother wants him to wait.

Essence: Sloane and his mother have dinner at a nice restaurant.

Conflict: His mother insists he finish his dinner before he can eat dessert. He storms out the door.

Subtext: They pulled a prank by leaving without paying.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will be okay. We fear he may be abused or punished.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane (now 18) interviewing for jobs to joining the Navy.

Sloane interviews for a cruise ship position and doesn’t get it, so he joins the Navy.

Essence: Sloane wants to see the world.

Conflict: He’s never been away from home or on a ship before.

Subtext: He wants to get away from home.

Hope/Fear: We hope he will be okay. We fear he may quit.

EXT. SHIP – NIGHT

Scene Arc: From Sloane meeting a woman at a party to getting married.

At a naval party, Sloane meets a woman. They fall in love and get married when she becomes pregnant.

Essence: Sloane is looking for love and his own family.

Conflict: Sloane is at sea most of the time.

Subtext: He doesn’t know how to be a good husband or maintain a relationship.

Hope/Fear: We hope they can make it work. We fear the marriage won’t last.

INT. SHIP – NIGHT

Scene Arc: From Sloane (age 25) studying for the captain’s exam to assigned command of his first ship.

Sloane studies and passes the captain’s test. He is one of the youngest sea captains in naval history.

Essence: Sloane is a young, honest and hard-working sea captain.

Conflict: Ship mates pull pranks and make things difficult. Sloane discovers his ship crew is smuggling oil. Sloane threatens to report the smuggling to the authorities.

Subtext: Sloane is naïve and doesn’t know hazing comes with the job. He hides his anxiety.

Hope/Fear: We hope he will survive. We fear he won’t.

EXT. DOCKS – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Sloane leaves a bar and is beat up on his way back to the ship.

Sloane is unexpectedly ambushed. He puts up a fight, but is no match to his opponent.

Essence: Sloane tries to ignore the smuggling by leaving the ship and going to a local bar while the smuggling occurs.

Conflict: Sloane is badly beaten. He manages to crawl back to the ship and collapses.

Subtext: After discovering smuggling activities, Sloane tries to ignore it. Mr. Big orders someone to warn and rough up Sloane.

Hope/Fear: We hope he will be okay. We fear he will be killed.

ACT 2:

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane trying to be honest and above board to learning about smuggling.

Sloane transfers to another ship to get away from the smuggling only to find himself more entrenched.

Essence: Sloane requests a transfer to another ship. Unfortunately, the new crew is even more corrupt.

Conflict: Sloane faces a dilemma of reporting the illegal activities or joining in on the smuggling. Either way, he risks being killed

Subtext: Sloane learns all about smuggling firsthand.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will be okay. We are afraid he may be killed.

INT. BANK – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane meeting Mr. Big to accepting a job as an inspector.

Sloane meets with Mr. Big.

Essence: Mr. Big meets with Sloane and tells Sloane about an open job inspecting ships.

Conflict: Mr. Big lures Sloane into the smuggling world.

Subtext: Sloane’s family is growing and he needs the money. Sloane is not aware that he will be forging documents, and exchanging money for a fee (money laundering).

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane does well. We fear he will be killed.

INT. OFFICE/HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: From police officers with rifles knocking on the door to Sloane paying them off.

Sloane (age 30) at home watching tv, when there’s a knock on the door. Sloane invites the police in.

Essence: They are here to get Sloane.

Conflict: Will Sloane be caught or shot?

Subtext: Does Sloane know Mr. Big tipped off the police? Did he know they were coming?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will be safe. We fear he will be caught and killed.

Scene Arc: From Sloane’s father in the hospital to his father dying.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Sloane visits his father in the hospital.

Essence: Sloane rushes home to be with his sick father

Conflict: Will he make it home in time?

Subtext: Sloane has become an absent workaholic like his father.

Hope/Fear: We hope his father will live. We are afraid he will die.

INT. PARENT’S HOUSE – DAY

Sloane helps his mother go through his father’s things, and figure out the financial and legal paperwork.

Essence: Sloane helps his mother figure out the paperwork.

Conflict: Sloane’s marriage is on the rocks.

Subtext: Sloane is not home enough.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloan will try to save his marriage. We fear it’s too late.

ACT 3:

Scene Arc: From Sloane leaving smuggling to caring for his children.

INT. SLOANE’S HOUSE – DAY

Sloane leaves the ship and smuggling business. Sloane tries several legitimate jobs.

Essence: Sloane plays with his children while his wife works.

Conflict: None of the legitimate jobs work out. Arguments between Sloane and his wife worsen.

Subtext: He feels like a failure. He is more of a friend than a father.

Hope/Fear: We hope he will find a good job. We fear he will go back to crime.

INT. BANK – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane being a house husband to smuggling whiskey.

Sloane goes back to working with Mr. Big.

Essence: Mr. Big convinces Sloane to come back and smuggle whiskey.

Conflict: One container of whiskey is confiscated by the police and the other disappears. The police are hot on their trail.

Subtext: Mr. Big sets Sloane up.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will be safe. We fear he will be captured and shot.

Scene Arc: From Sloane trying to sell the ship to the ship sinking.

EXT. DOCKS – DAY

When business dries up Sloane looks for other ways to make money.

Essence: Sloane tries to sell the ship.

Conflict: Without telling Sloane, Mr. Big has the ship blown up. Sloane worries about the men onboard.

Subtext: Sloane is unaware of Mr. Big’s plans.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will be okay. We fear he will be blamed and captured.

INT. BANK – DAY

An informant tells Sloane who was behind the ship explosion.

Essence: Sloane learns Mr. Big ordered the ship explosion to collect the insurance money.

Conflict: Sloane and Mr. Big argue.

Subtext: Sloane feels betrayed by Mr. Big.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will get away. We fear he will be blamed and captured.

INT. PARENT’S HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane feeling betrayed to feeling abandoned.

Sloane goes home when his mother dies.

Essence: Sloane sorts through his mother’s things.

Conflict: Sloane’s wife files for divorce and he learns his father wasn’t really his father.

Subtext: Depressed and angry, he drinks heavily to numb his feelings.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will be okay. We fear he won’t.

ACT 4 CLIMAX:

INT. BANK – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane getting the insurance money, then giving it up and ending his partnership with Mr. Big.

Sloane ends his partnership with Mr. Big and walks away from the insurance money.

Essence: Sloane gives up the life of crime.

Conflict: With very little savings and not knowing what he is going to do, Sloane goes home.

Subtext: Sloane is defeated and feels like a failure.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will find a good job. We are afraid he’ll go back to crime again.

INT. BAR/RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane having lunch to be taken to the hospital.

Sloane meets an old friend for lunch at their favorite bar, not knowing the friend is sober.

Essence: Sloane meets an old friend he hasn’t seen in years for lunch. Sloane coughs up blood and is rushed to the emergency room.

Conflict: The friend is clean and sober now, and tells Sloane about AA and treatment.

Subtext: The friend thinks Sloane has a drinking problem. Sloane is in denial.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane will quit drinking. We are afraid he won’t and will die.

INT. TREATMENT PROGRAM – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane afraid to enter treatment to afraid of leaving treatment.

Sloane enters a long-term residential treatment program and has difficulty adjusting.

Essence: Sloane enters an alcohol and drug treatment program.

Conflict: He’s almost kicked out for bending the rules.

Subtext: Is he pretending to be honest and truthful?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloan will stay clean and sober. We are afraid he won’t

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane sitting home alone to his children throwing a surprise birthday party for him.

Sloane (age 50) on the patio feeling sorry for himself, when his children all show up and surprise him.

Essence: Sloane rebuilds his relationship with his grown children.

Conflict: Someone brought booze.

Subtext: Can Sloane set healthy boundaries?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane won’t drink. We fear he will.

EXT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane meeting a woman on-line to getting married.

Sloane meets a woman online, falls in love and gets married.

Essence: Sloane gets married at sea on a cruise ship.

Conflict: Will Sloane relapse and start drinking?

Subtext: Has Sloane learned how to have healthy relationships?

Hope/Fear: We hope this relationship works out. We fear it won’t.

EXT./INT. PRISON – DAY

Scene Arc: From Sloane entering prison to counseling inmates.

Sloane becomes a certified addictions counselor and works with prison inmates.

Essence: Sloane becomes a prison addictions counselor.

Conflict: Guards search Sloane and give him a hard time.

Subtext: Sloane never served time for his crimes.

Hope/Fear: We hope Sloane has changed. We fear he may relapse.

INT. BANK – DAY

Scene Arc: From bank employees arriving at work to find the vault empty and Mr. Big nowhere to be found.

Bank employees arrive at work, find the vault empty and Mr. Big gone.

Essence: Mr. Big disappears.

Conflict: Where has Mr. Big and the money gone?

Subtext: Mr. Big is hiding, hoping he won’t be caught.

Hope/Fear: We hope Mr. Big will be caught. We fear he’s put a hit out on Sloane.

[Andrew Kelm]

Andrew Kelm’s Scene Requirements

Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.

What I learned doing this assignment is… how to get very specific aobut planning the scene requirements. Great exercise! But hard. It took me a long time. I was getting faster as I went along.

FATEMONGERS; a psychic with a blind spot for abusive men uses subtle manipulations to murder a sexual predator who seduces her to get to her sons.

INT. DAPHNE’S KITCHEN – DAY

Daphne gives Terry — her BFF, a gay stylist who works for her mother in the hair salon below Daphne’s apartment — a tarot reading.

Scene Arc: Daphne goes from talking about Terry’s future to getting specific about her vision of her own future as a respected independent therapist.

Essence: Daphne gives a reading to a friend

Conflict: practicality vs. Romance

Subtext: loneliness

Hope/fear: realizing dreams / failure

EXT. HAIR SALON – DAY

Roy steps into Daphne’s mother’s hair salon to avoid an unseen pursuer.

Scene arc: Roy is being pursued and finds safety in the hair salon

Essence: Roy escaping his pursuers

Conflict: unseen pursuer wants to catch Roy

Subtext: Roy has done something wrong

Hope/fear: escape / caught

INT. HAIR SALON – DAY

Roy requests a reading with Daphne as an excuse to stay.

Scene arc: Daphne’s mother, Christine, tries to get Roy out of the shop but Daphne agrees to give him a reading.

Essence: Roy and Daphne first meeting

Conflict: Christine thinks Roy is bad news and Daphne likes him.

Subtext: Roy and Daphne are attracted to each other.

Hope/fear: Roy and Daphne get together / Christine will ruin it.

INT. DAPHNE’S KITCHEN – DAY

Daphne charms Roy into direct his criminal impulses toward being a salesman but her connection to him is thwarted by Gilbert’s arrival.

Scene arc: Roy and Daphne hit it off but are pulled apart by Gilbert

Essence: Daphne and Roy like each other.

Conflict: Possible romance vs. Roy’s involvement with Gilbert

Subtext: Daphne is entering into another abusive relationship.

Hope/fear: this is a budding romance / Roy is bad news.

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Daphne works Terry’s friends for taro readings.

Scene arc: Daphne and Terry fantasize about lunch in an expensive restaurant and end up with the money to pay for it.

Essence: Daphne makes lunch money

Conflict: pure motives vs. Making a buck

Subtext: Daphne manipulates people to get what she wants.

Hope/fear: success / failure

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Daphne and Terry spend the take on a meal.

Scene arc:

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. HAIR SALON – DAY

Mom threatens to evict Daphne if she can’t control her boys making noise.

Scene arc: Daphne arrives back home happy to get in an argument with he mother who threatens to make her move out.

Essence: Daphne fights with Christine over the boys making noise.

Conflict: Boys’ noise vs. Hair salon business

Subtext: ongoing trouble between Daphne and Christine

Hope/fear: patch things up / Daphne will get thrown out

INT. DAPHNE’S KITCHEN – DAY

Daphne does a reading for a high-profile politician who doesn’t want to be seen.

Scene arc: Daphne lets a mysterious client in through her back door and he turns out to be a high-profile politician

Essence: Daphne has important clients

Conflict: Trent is ashamed of seeing Daphne but relies on her.

Subtext: Daphne stands up for herself

Hope/fear: Daphne gets respect / he will disrespect her

INT. DAPHNE’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

Daphne has a moment with her boys where she explains to them why they have to play quietly.

Scene arc: boys start off out of control and are made to realize the seriousness of needing to behave

Essence: Daphne teaches her boys how to behave.

Conflict: boys have tons of energy and want to rough-house

Subtext: Grandma could evict us

Hope/fear: she will be able to convince them / they will not pay attention

INT. DAPHNE’S KITCHEN – DAY

Roy comes back with flowers after following her advice and getting a job at a car dealership and ends up spending the night.

Scene arc: Roy gets another reading to seduction

Essence: Roy and Daphne consummate their romance

Conflict: professional relationship / romance

Subtext: Daphne and Roy are attracted to each other

Hope/fear: They will get together / they won’t

INT. DAPHNE’S KITCHEN – DAY

Mother discovers that Roy has spent the night and starts a row.

Scene arc: mother finds Roy in the apartment in the early morning and turns it into a big fight.

Essence: Mom objects to Roy

Conflict: Mom and Roy

Subtext: the war between Mom and daughter has reached the boiling point

Hope/fear: Daphne will get kicked out / Christine will win

INT. ALLY BEHIND HAIR SALON – DAY

Daphne, Roy and the kids carry stuff down the stairs and load the car while Christine protests.

Scene arc: Christine tries to stop them from leaving and then curses them when they refuse.

Essence: Daphne breaks from Mom

Conflict: Mom’s protection vs. Need for independence

Subtext: The secret Daphne’s abuse at teh hands of her mother’s boyfriend

Hope/fear: Daphne gets away / she’s heading for something worse.

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Daphne, Roy and the kids move into Roy’s caretaker apartment at the manse.

Scene arc: starts out with them being trepidations but Daphne turns it into an adventure

Essence: They are adapting as they need to survive.

Conflict: They do not have Gilbert’s blessing

Subtext: They are one step away from living in the car

Hope/fear: it works out / homelessness

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

When Gilbert discovers the new tenants, Daphne pleads her case that they will be an asset — she can do housework and the boys can help Roy with yard work.

Scene arc: Gilbert objects to Daphne being there but she wins him over.

Essence: Daphne gets her way

Conflict: Gilbert vs. Daphne

Subtext: Gilbert has their life in his hands

Hope/fear: he will let them stay / it may be out of the frying pan into the fire.

EXT. MANSE YARD – DAY

Roy goes over what yard work needs to be done with the boys.

Scene arc: Roy’s first interaction with Daphne’s boys leads to him charming one and leaving the other an outsider.

Essence: Roy assigning chores to his new charges

Conflict: Roy winning over Daphne’s boys to their new life

Subtext: Roy bonds with Carl and creates enmity with Abe

Hope/fear: Roy will win them over / Roy will abuse them

EXT. CAR – DAY

Gilbert takes Roy out for a drive.

Scene arc: Gilbert tries to draw Roy into their old philandering ways and mostly fails

Essence: Gilbert takes Roy for a drive looking for hitchhikers to seduce

Conflict: Roys old habits vs. His new responsibilities

Subtext: battle for Roy’s loyalty — Gilbert or Daphne

Hope/fear: Roy resists Gilbert’s manipulations / he won’t

INT. CAR – DAY

Gilbert insists they pick up a hitchhiker but Roy refuses to participate.

Scene arc: They pick up a hitchhiker; Gilbert seduces him and Roy refuses to participate

Essence: Gilbert tries to pull Roy into their old routine of seducing teenage boys and fails

Conflict: Roy’s new allegiance with Daphne and his old habits

Subtext: Roy is committed to Daphne

Hope/fear: Roy resists / Roy will get drawn in

INT. MANSE – DAY

While cleaning the manse, Daphne finds polaroids of teenage boys and takes photocopies.

Scene arc: Daphne cleans and ends up with photocopies of incriminating evidence against Gilbert

Essence: Daphne cleans manse and finds incriminating evidence against Gilbert.

Conflict: Daphne vs. Gilbert’ perverse habits

Subtext: Gilbert is into some incriminating stuff

Hope/fear: she doesn’t get caught / she does

INT. MANSE – DAY

Gilbert comes home to find Daphne there and she deflects any suspicion by showing him all the work she’s done.

Scene arc: Daphne discovered to evades suspicion.

Essence: Daphne gets away with proof of Gilbert’s crimes

Conflict: trust

Subtext: Gilbert is guilty and wants to know if she knows.

Hope/fear: she will get away clean / he will find out she has been snooping

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Daphne confronts Roy about her suspicions of Gilbert and gets him to spill the beans that he and Gilbert go hunting for hitchhikers together. But Roy swears up and down that he would never do anything with her boys and all that is in the past. He is devoted to her and the family.

Scene arc: from Roy acting innocent to Daphne getting a confession from him.

Essence: Daphne is interrogating Roy

Conflict: If Daphne knows the truth their relationship will change.

Subtext: How good a liar is Roy

Hope/fear: there is a way to resolve the test to their relationship / there may not be

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Gilbert finds Daphne giving Terry a reading in the new digs. After initially protesting, he end sup giving her a referal.

Scene arc: Gilbert threatens her over the cards to he provides her with a client.

Essence: Gilbert uses the cards as a way to threaten Daphne

Conflict: Who has more control over Roy

Subtext: Gilbert wants her out and is planning a sabotage.

Hope/fear: Daphne will stay on top of the power struggle / she own’t

INT./EXT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Through the kitchen window, Daphne spies Gilbert chatting up Carl as he does yard work.

Scene arc: Daphne feels happily established in her new home to feeling under threat.

Essence: Daphne discovers Gilbert flirting with her boy.

Conflict: Daphne needs her place to live / protecting her son.

Subtext: Carl is in danger from Gilbert.

Hope/fear: Carl is safe / Gilbert will get him.

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Daphne does the reading for the teen-age boy Gilbert refers but he turns out to be a full-blown schizophrenic and she tells him he needs to see a regular psychiatrist.

Scene arc: Troubled lad comes for a reading and reveals that his problems run way deeper than she can handle.

Essence: Daphne is over her head

Conflict: how to help this kid

Subtext: this is poison; Gilbert has sabotaged her

Hope/fear: she helps the kid / he will somehow wreck everything

EXT. BRIDGE – DAY

schizophrenic client kills himself.

Scene arc: client kills himself.

Essence: client kills himself

Conflict: pull towards death or life.

Subtext: This reflects on Daphne

Hope/fear: he won’t do it / he will

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Daphne gets a visit from police detective asking about her connection to the suicide.

Scene arc: Cop comes to Daphne investigating boy’s suicide, and she manages to hold him at bay

Essence: Daphne holds off suspicion

Conflict: Daphne has to convince the detective that the boy’s suicide is not her fault

Subtext: Daphne is in a grey area where she is very vulnerable.

Hope/fear: she will avoid suspicion / she will not

INT. MANSE – DAY

Daphne confronts Gilbert about the client he referred to her. He tells Daphne she has to move out because of the attention she is attracting.

Scene arc: Daphne asks why Gilbert sicked the cops on her and Gilbert asks her to move out.

Essence: power struggle between Daphne and Gilbert

Conflict: Glibert wants her out

Subtext: Daphne has something on Gilbert; Gilbert sees her as a threat

Hope/fear: Daphne wins / she losesScene arc:

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Daphne works Roy to get him to commit to the project of buying a house.

Scene arc: discussion of house buying evolves into strategy for how to sell cars.

Essence: Daphne convinces Roy to commit to the project of buying a house.

Conflict: They need to move out and they don’t know what to do.

Subtext: Roy’s self esteem does not allow him to believe that he can own a house.

Hope/fear: Daphne will be able to convince him / he will not be convinced.

INT. HAIR SALON – DAY

Daphne works her mother to get her to contribute to the downpayment; gets her to commit by agreeing to pay back the money if and when they sell.

Scene arc: Daphne visits her mother to get money and ends up re-bonding with her

Essence: Daphne works her mother for a downpayment

Conflict: mother/daughter control

Subtext: history of abuse and what mother feels she owes her daughter because of it.

Hope/fear: she will get the money / she won’t

INT. CARETAKER’S APARTMENT – DAY

At a dinner Daphne makes for Gilbert, she works him for a contribution to the downpayment and the terms of insurance on Roy’s life.

Essence: Daphne works Gilbert for part of the downpayment.

Conflict: Gilbert wants to force Daphne out and she wants Gilbert to help her move out with Roy.

Subtext: Daphne works Gilbert for money

Hope/fear: Daphne and Roy get money / Gilbert upsets the appllecart.

INT. CAR – DAY

Daphne and Roy find the house that speaks to her.

Scene arc: Roy and Daphne go from being discouraged about not finding a house to finding the perfect house

Essence: Daphne finds the perfect house

Conflict: difficulty of finding an appropriate spot

Subtext: Daphne gets what she wants because the universe supports her

Hope/fear: they will find a house / they won’t

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – DAY

Daphne sets up an office in their new home with psychology books that she displays prominently.

Scene arc: Daphne starts decorating her office misty tinkle woohoo and then switches to professional therapist.

Essence: Daphne sets up her new office to reflect her new image as professional therapist

Conflict: old vs, new

Subtext: Daphne is changing; becoming more confident and professional

Hope/fear: she will make it work / she will lose herself in superficial concerns.

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – CARL’S BEDROOM

Roy helps the boys set up their rooms. He and Carl have fun, but Abe prefers to do it on his own.

Scene arc: Roy tries to gain their trust and succeeds with one of them.

Essence: Roy tries to bond with the boys

Conflict: Winning over Abe

Subtext: Roy is a sexual predator

Hope/fear: roy will transform into a good father / he will abuse them

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Gilbert pays a visit offering furniture from the manse

Scene arc: Gilbert arrives with offer of furniture and takes Roy away

Essence: Gilbert lures Roy away from the family

Conflict: help the family move in vs. sorely needed furniture

Subtext: Gilbert is hanging on to his connection to Roy

Hope/fear: Roy resists Gilbert’s power / he falls in with his old ways

INT. CAR – DAY

Roy goes with Gilbert to pick up furniture, but Gilbert has a surprise. I a parking lot, one of their old tricks is waiting for them.

Scene arc: errand to pick up couch turns into pickup

Essence: Gilbert involves Roy in a pickup

Conflict: a bit of fun vs. Loyalty to Roy’s new arrangement with Daphne

Subtext: Gilbert gets Roy to cheat on Daphne

Hope/fear: Roy resists / he doesn’t

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT

Amid suspicions, confessions and revelations, Daphne and Roy define their commitment to each other as an open relationship based on supporting the family.

Scene arc: Daphne disinterested in sex leads to confession from roy

Essence: Roy comes back too Daphne begging for forgiveness

Conflict: Roy’s cover vs. the truth.

Subtext: Roy has betrayed their relationship – not to the letter of their contract, but on a level of trust.

Hope/fear: it will somehow work out / it will destroy their relationship.

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – DAY

Daphne gives a reading to Trent, her politician client from scene 1. They are interrupted by a visit from Detective. She sends him upstairs to hide.

Scene arc: Daphne works at gaining Trent’s trust

Essence: Trent becomes embroiled in Daphne’s drama

Conflict: Trent’s need to stay under the radar vs. Daphne’s police interest

Subtext: Trent is ashamed of going to Daphne

Hope/fear: Trent is not discovered / he is

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Detective asks more questions about the suicide; asks questions about her license, which she deftly swats away.

Scene arc: Detective thinks he has Daphne nailed but she works her way out of it.

Essence: Detective is trying to get Daphne but

Conflict: Did Daphne do anything illegal that she can be prosecuted for?

Subtext: they are arch rivals

Hope/fear: Daphne manages to deflect / she will be prosecuted

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – DAY

When the detective is gone, She makes a case for herself to Trent as a respectable therapist and works his guilt so he will declare his loyalty.

Scene arc: Trant expresses his reluctance to be involved with Daphne

Essence: Daphne convinces Trent he is safe

Conflict: Trent’s need for discretion vs. Interest of the detective

Subtext: Trent wants to sever ties

Hope/fear: Daphne is able to win him over / he abandons her.

INT. CAR DEALERSHIP – DAY

Roy makes a great sale at work.

Scene arc: Roy takes on an unlikely customer and is able to sell him and expensive car.

Essence: Roy makes a great sale at work

Conflict: ethics of selling a car to someone who can’t afford it. He has to make a sale to win a prize or something.

Subtext: Roy will happily rob people to make a sale

Hope/fear: he makes the sale / he doesn’t

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Roy celebrates after work with drinks with co-workers.

Scene arc: celebration after work turns into all nighter

Essence: Roy gets drunk

Conflict: new Roy vs. Old Roy

Subtext: Roy is reaching a low point of resolve

Hope/fear: Roy stays on the straight and narrow / He falls

INT. GAY BAR – NIGHT

Roy goes off to a gay bar by himself and meets a young man.

Scene arc: Roy goes to a gay bar instead of going home and ends up with a trick

Essence: Roy finds a boyfriend

Conflict: duty vs. Desire

Subtext: Roy is restless in his situation iwth Daphne

Hope/fear: he resists temptation / he won’t

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – CLOSET – NIGHT

Daphne finds cocaine in Roy’s jacket pocket.

Scene arc: Daphne suspicious of where Roy is, searches his clothes and finds cocaine

Essence: Daphne finds cocaine in Roy’s jacket pocket.

Conflict: Daphne is unsure whether she can trust Roy

Subtext: Daphne knows something is going on with Roy

Hope/fear: she will figure out what is going on / she will find out

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Daphne finds out from Terry that he has seen Roy at a gay club.

Scene arc: a fun afternoon with Terry becomes learning bad news

Essence: Terry tells Daphne he has seen Roy at a gay bar.

Conflict: does she already know? Is this a betrayal?

Subtext: She brushes it off but is actually concerned

Hope/fear: she figures it out / it could destroy her

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – NIGHT

When Daphne confronts Roy and he confesses to having a new gay lover, they reiterate their commitment and she warns him she will kill him if he ever puts a hand on one of her sons.

Scene arc: Feigned innocence on both sides is a trap Daphne sets for Roy

Essence: Daphne traps Roy in his lies

Conflict: truth vs. Lie

Subtext: Daphne knows and pretends she doesn’t

Hope/fear: Daphne will find out waht Roy’s been up to / what will she do?

Act 4: double indemnity

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Daphne meets Steve at the beach with Terry, and they have a deep dark psychic connection. Terry warns her that Steve is bad news.

Scene arc: Daphne meets someone and flirts with him.

Essence: Daphne finds chemistry with someone else besides Roy

Conflict: sexual adventure vs. Danger

Subtext:

Hope/fear: she finds someone besides Roy / same

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – CARL’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Carl approaches Roy in his bedroom, flirtatious, saying he thinks there is something wrong with his penis and would Roy take a look? Roy is resolute in his promise not to involve the boys and doesn’t know what to do. They are seen by Daphne’s other son Abe.

Scene arc: Carl tries to draw Roy into sex and the outcome is not clear

Essence: Carl flirts with Roy

Conflict: desire vs. Good sense

Subtext: Carl is inviting sex with Roy

Hope/fear: Roy resists / he won’t

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – NIGHT

Abe tells Daphne what he has observed.

Scene arc: Daphne is calm and happy leads to having her world overturned.

Essence: Abe tells on Roy and Carl

Conflict: should Daphne believe Abe or not

Subtext: Daphne does not trust Roy

Hope/fear: Daphne has to do something / what can she do that won’t make things worse?

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – DAY

Daphne questions Carl

Scene arc: Daphne questions Carl about Roy and gets an inconclusive answer.

Essence: Daphne Questions Carl about sex with Roy

Conflict: Mom vs. Son pushing for independence

Subtext: is Carl telling the truth

Hope/fear: nothing happened between Carl and Roy / it did.

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – NIGHT

Daphne waits up for Roy and questions him about Carl it ends up inconclusive and they fight

Scene arc: Daphne questions Roy and they end up fighting

Essence: Daphne questions Roy about Carl

Conflict: Daphne wants the truth

Subtext: She doesn’t trust him

Hope/fear: Daphne will find out the truth / she won’t

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Daphne sees Steve again and this time agrees to go home with him,

Scene arc: Daphne meets up with Steve at the beach again and this time goes home with him

Essence: Daphne goes home with Steve

Conflict: should she? Shouldn’t she

Subtext: she is using Steve to set up Roy

Hope/fear: she will be safe / she is in over her head

INT. STEVE’S APARTMENT – DAY

They have rough sex, with Daphne egging Steve on deeper and deeper into the dark recesses of his psyche till eventually he has her tied to a chair naked with a gun to her head.

Scene arc: They have rough sex and just when it seems like it might get totally out of control, Daphne difuses the situation and goes home.

Essence: Daphne has rough sex with Steve

Conflict: How far does each of them want to go? Power game

Subtext: she is setting up Roy

Hope/fear: She will stay in control / she will get hurt

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Roy finds the ligature marks on Daphne’s wrists and storms off to confront Steve, just as Trent conveniently arrives for a reading — in time to hear Daphne begging him not to go.

Trent arrives for a reading just in time to hear Daphne begging Roy not to go to Steve’s, it is dangerous, as he storms out the door and drives off in his car.

Scene arc: Roy discovers the ligature marks and Roy storms off to confront Steve.

Essence: Steve finds out how Steve have hurt her and takes action to defend her.

Conflict: Roy goes to the rescue or not

Subtext: Daphne is manipulating Roy into confronting Steve

Hope/fear: Roy doesn’t overreact / this escalates

INT. STEVE’S APARTMENT – DAY

Roy confronts Steve; Roy gets killed and boyfriend is arrested.

Scene arc: Roy goes to confront Steve about his tryst with Daphne and ends up getting killed.

Essence: Roy gets killed defending Daphne

Conflict: treating Daphne well

Subtext: who doe she like better?

Hope/fear: it ends well / doesn’t get violent

INT. CHURCH – DAY

Gilbert leads the funeral and drops hints that Daphne was the problem if not implicated in the death.

Scene arc: Gilbert leads the funeral and drops hints that Daphne is to blame

Essence: Gilbert drops hints at the funeral that Daphne is to blame

Conflict: Gilbert and Daphne over Roy

Subtext: Gilbert is out to get Daphne

Hope/fear: he is ineffective / he will cause trouble for Daphne

INT. MANSE – DAY

After the funeral Daphne makes it clear to Gilbert that if she is under suspicion, she will drag Gilbert down with her.

Scene arc: Daphne confronts Gilbert and makes it clear to him that she has power over him

Essence: Daphne threatens Gilbert to make him back off any accusations of Daphne

Conflict: Gilbert is trying to incriminate her

Subtext: Daphne has the goods on him

Hope/fear: Daphne comes out on top / she won’t

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Same Police detective as before visits Daphne suspicious of her involvement in Roy’s death.

Scene arc: Questions point to Detective suspecting Daphne has a hand in it.

Essence: Daphne is a person of interest in the death of Roy

Conflict: Detective thinks she’s guilty vs. Daphne’s innocence

Subtext: Daphne’s in trouble

Hope/fear: Daphne manages to deflect suspicion / she will get charged

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – HOME OFFICE – DAY

Daphne contacts Trent and tells him he has to contact the detective.

Scene arc: Daphnephnes Trent and succeeds in getting him to support her innocence iwth the cop

Essence: daphne wins over Trent

Conflict: Daphne needs an alibi vs. Trent needs anonymity

Subtext: Dapahne is strong-arming Trent

Hope/fear: Trent will help / he won’t

INT. ROY AND DAPHNE’S – KITCHEN – DAY

Resolution: Terry brings over a casserole as Detective comes back for a final visit to tell Daphne, grudgingly, that she is in the clear.

Scene arc: Detective interrupts reading to inform Daphne she is in the clear; after he’s gone, Terry asks her if she told Roy that Steve had a gun. She answers how would she know?

Essence: As Daphne becomes officially in the clear, he conversation with Terry implicates her.

Conflict: Daphne’s guilt or innocence.

Subtext: she’s guilty

Hope/fear: she gets off / what else she could do

[Terrie Shaft]

Terrie’s Scene Requirements

I write screenplays that get turned into crowd pleasing successful films using a process that allows me to enjoy my equestrian hobby.

What I learned from this assignment is that the humor isn’t showing in the outline. I’m not sure how to incorporate so I tried putting in a line for the humor in as many scenes as possible.

ACT 1

EXT. CITY STREET – DAY

James is chased by US Marshals outside an office building. He’s caught, handcuffed, and taken into a building.

Scene Arc: Running away to in custody

Essence: James tried to escape from the US Marshals

Conflict: James v the US Marshals

Subtext: James is in trouble with the law

Hope/Fear: He gets away/he gets caught

Humor: sight gags as the Marshals struggle to catch James

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

James’ handcuffs are removed. He’s a witness who tried to run.

Scene Arc: From an escaped criminal to a protected witness

Essence: James is trying to get out of testifying

Conflict: Marshals need him to testify, James doesn’t trust them

Subtext: James knows something about a criminal enterprise

Hope/Fear: Will he testify or not?

Humor: He offends every Marshal in the room with his crazy theories

INT. Restaurant – DAY

Paige on a lunch date with a cop groupie. He’s an ass. She profiles him, to his face, in as insulting a manner as possible.

Scene Arc: From promising first date to taking down this jerk

Essence: Paige is a serious professional with a crappy personal life

Conflict: He’s only interested in her because she’s a cop; She has no interest in dating a holster sniffer

Subtext: Paige is an intelligent, capable behavioral analyst

Hope/Fear: It’s great date/ It’s a terrible date

Humor: Her psychological profile of her date is funny and insulting

EXT. CITY STREET – DAY

James is escorted out of the building by two Marshals, shots are fired. They return to the building.

Scene Arc: From leaving the building in apparent safety to retreating due to danger

Essence: James isn’t safe with the US Marshals

Conflict: Being shot at while in protective custody

Subtext: Someone is out to get James

Hope/Fear: Someone gets shot/ They make it to safety

Humor:

INT. Conference room – DAY

James surrounded by law enforcement personnel. He accuses each of being involved in a different conspiracy theory.

Scene Arc: James goes from frightened to angry; from protected witness to asshole who alienates all the US Marshals there to protect him

Essence: James is a conspiracy theory nutcase

Conflict: James doesn’t trust the US Marshals on his protective detail

Subtext: James sees everything as a conspiracy

Hope/Fear: He alienates everyone/ He stops before he goes too far

Humor: His crazy conspiracy theories are funny.

INT. Restaurant – DAY

Paige’s phone rings. She takes the call.

Scene Arc: Crappy first date to back at work

Essence:

Conflict: Does she go back to work even though she is supposed to be on vacation?

Subtext: Paige is an important professional

Hope/Fear: Does she go to work or

Humor: Final insult to her date on her way out of the restaurant.

INT. Hallway outside conference room.

Paige confers with a Marshal. James specifically requested her for his protection detail. She refuses – she’s behavioral not WITSEC.

Scene Arc: From I’m here to help with a Behavioral Analysis to I’m not part of WITSEC

Essence: Paige is a behavioral analyst who has not business running a protection detail

Conflict: Paige refuses to help/ The other Marshals need her help

Subtext: Paige is not the right person for this job, James must have a reason to insist on her help.

Hope/Fear: She’ll help/ she won’t

Humor:

Scene Arc: From refusing to help protect James or agreeing to handle the protection

INT. Conference room – DAY

James with Marshals refuses to testify unless Paige is handles his protection detail. Paige enters. She looks shocked at seeing him. James is a cover name – he was Jason before. She refuses the assignment again. James/Jason doubles down not testifying unless Paige handles his protection.

Essence: James was Jason and the government needs his testimony

Conflict: Handle the protection/not handle the protection

Subtext: Paige and James/Jason must know each other somehow

Hope/Fear: She’ll agree/She’ll refuse

Humor:

INT. Hallway outside conference room – DAY

Paige gets talked into taking the assignment for career reasons.

Essence: Paige finally agrees

Conflict: Does Paige agree or will they note her refusal on her record?

Subtext: Paige is ambitious.

Hope/Fear: She’ll agree/ she’ll refuse

Humor: The other Marshals are fed up with James and think it’s going to take a psychologist to keep him in line.

ACT 2

INT. Conference room – DAY

Paige speaks with James alone. She tells him it’s by the book. Just a job. He agrees.

Scene Arc: From strangers to some history they don’t discuss

Essence: Setting ground rules of the protection assignment

Conflict: She’s not WITSEC

Subtext: They have a past

Hope/Fear: Will he follow her rules or get or in trouble?

Humor:

INT. SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT

James/Jason comes onto Paige. She physically restrains him. She tells him if the Marshals find out about their past she’ll be taken off his detail so he agrees to keep it between them.

Scene Arc: From purely professional to James/Jason trying to rekindle something with Paige

Essence: James/Jason needs to be kept safe until his meeting the next day

Conflict: Paige and James/Jason bicker constantly hinting at their past.

Subtext: They have a romantic past

Hope/Fear: They’ll be safe/something bad happens; they stay platonic/something romantic happens

Humor: Paige’s physical take down of James/Jason is done in a funny way

EXT. STREE OUTSIDE SAFE HOUSE – DAY

Paige and James/Jason walk toward an SUV. Shots fired. They jump into the SVU and leave.

Scene Arc: Safety to danger

Essence: James is right to not trust the US Marshal service

Conflict: Someone nearly shoots them

Subtext: Someone revealed their location

Hope/Fear: They get away/they don’t get away

Humor: She pulls him into to SUV backwards and upside down.

ACT 3

INT. SUV – DAY

James/Jason spouting every conspiracy theory he’s got. Paige admits his paranoia is reasonable because almost no one knew where they were.

Scene Arc: Danger to safety

Essence: Paige and James/Jason race away from a dangerous situation

Conflict: Someone is after them, where do they go?

Subtext: James/Jason’s conspiracy theories may be true

Hope/Fear: Someone in the US Marshall’s has double crossed them/ Someone other than a US Marshall came after them.

Humor: James/Jason’s conspiracy paranoia is ludicrous, or is it?

Scene Arc: Get a new car and get rid of the Marshall’s SUV

EXT. Car lot – DAY

Purchase a vehicle with cash.

Essence: Purchase a crappy car

Conflict: They disagree on what car to buy

Subtext: Someone in the Marshall service has turned on them

Hope/Fear: A new car will keep them safe/ they’ve been followed

Humor: Argument about which car; some crazy story about why they need a car

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

Stash the SUV in a way that mis-directs Marshal service.

Essence: Must hide the SUV

Conflict: Where is best to hide the car; Paige doesn’t want the car destroyed, James/Jason wants to ditch in a lake.

Subtext: Paige can see that James/Jason’s paranoia isn’t just paranoia

Hope/Fear: find a good hiding place/ get caught

Humor: The process of actually hiding the car

EXT. ROADS – DAY

Series of challenges getting back home.

Scene Arc: From danger to safety

Essence: They must get away from DC/New York (?) and get somewhere safe

Conflict: Best routes to take; getting lost

Subtext: They are in constant danger

Hope/Fear: get discovered by law enforcement/ they get somewhere safe

Humor: Argue to about everything, where to eat what route to take they get on each other’s nerve

INT. WALMART – DAY

Purchase an assortment of burner phones and flip phones. This might be a montage, they may buy phones from different places to avoid attention.

Scene Arc: They purchase MANY phones

Essence: From hiding to taking action

Conflict: James/Jason doesn’t want to buy phones, they are too dangerous.

Subtext: Paige has a plan.

Hope/Fear:

Humor: James/Jason refuses to buy smart phones because of covid/cancer/ etc.

EXT. FARM – NIGHT

They park their car on a side road and walk to a farmhouse. Shots fired. Paige unworried says yells out who she is. It’s the old Sheriff she used to work for.

Scene Arc: From running to safety

Essence: They seek help from Paige’s first boss.

Conflict: Shots fired.

Subtext: The sheriff hates James/Jason

Hope/Fear: Get shot? Be safe?

Humor: Sheriff threatens to shoot off James/Jason’s testicles. Paige thinks about it, but says no.

INT. FarmHouse Kitchen – NIGHT

Despite the Sheriff’s anger that Paige is with James/Jason, she takes them in. They discuss who they can and can’t trust in the region.

Scene Arc: Safe house to getting help with a plan.

Essence: The sheriff gives helps them.

Conflict: Sheriff v. James/Jason

Subtext: James/Jason caused problems for Paige in the past

Hope/Fear: Safe for the night or will someone look for them at her farm?

Humor: Sheriff insults James/ Jason but usually funny.

INT. FARMHOUSE KITCHEN – DAY

Paige uses gps spoofing to create fake locations which they can stake out trying to isolate who is setting them up. James/Jason and Paige fight about his being bait. She won’t let him.

Scene Arc: From hiding to taking action.

Essence: Paige is setting traps to locate the double crosser

Conflict: James/Jason’s paranoia nearly got her fired once, she won’t let that happen again.

Subtext: Paige and Jason were a couple in the past.

Hope/Fear: Their plan will work/ They will get caught.

Humor: She reminds him of all the things he screwed up when they were together.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Paige & James/Jason sleep together, rekindling their relationship.

Scene Arc: From professional to love

Essence: James/Jason and Paige still have feelings for each other

Conflict: Paige isn’t over James/Jason nearly ruining her career

Subtext: James/Jason wants to be with Paige.

Hope/Fear: They get together/they don’t get together

Humor: Their kisses are awkward and getting them together can have funny moments

ACT 4:

Scene Arc: From stake outs to finding the person that has been setting them up.

EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET – DAY

This may be a montage. A series of stake outs where they wait to see if someone shows up.

Essence: They have a plan to flush the double crosser

Conflict: Will someone show up or are they wasting their time

Subtext: Is Jason right that it’s a Marshall who has been setting them up?

Hope/Fear: someone shows up/ no one shows up

Humor:

EXT. BRIDGE – DAY

The culprit shows up. Paige is staked out in a car. Jason shows up walking across the bridge. The double crosser shows up. Shoots at Jason. Paige saves Jason. Together Paige and Jason capture the person.

Essence: They find the person who has been setting them up.

Conflict: Jason using himself as bait when Paige forbade it/ Between them and the double crosser.

Subtext: Jason’s right about at least one conspiracy theory.

Hope/Fear: Will Paige & Jason capture the person or will they be killed?

Humor: Jason hog ties him when they capture him.

EXT. BRIDGE – DAY

A local US Marshal shows up. Paige and James/Jason’s version aren’t believed. They run again.

Scene Arc: From safety to on the run again.

Essence: They run to be safe

Conflict: The local US Marshal has to decide who to believe – Paige who’s been identified as one the run with a witness or another US Marshal?

Subtext: This problem is deeper than they thought

Hope/Fear: The Marshall believes them/ the Marshal believes the double crosser

Humor:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

Paige contacts the head US Marshal of the local district and convinces him to call Arlington. The District Marshal ultimately believes them.

Scene Arc: From on the run to safety

Essence: Paige must get someone to believe them.

Conflict: Will the head of the district believe her?

Subtext: Paige and Jason are still in danger

Hope/Fear: The district Marshall will be believe her/ the district Marshall will give away their location

Humor: Jason uses an aluminum hat to hide from the phone signal.

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

James testifies against the domestic terrorist group.

Scene Arc: From frightened witness to standing up to the group

Essence: James uses his knowledge of the terrorist’s groups activities to take them down.

Conflict: James v. the domestic terrorist’s group defense attorney.

Subtext: James isn’t as crazy as we think

Hope/Fear: the jury believes James/ the jury belies the terrorist’s defense

Humor: James starts to go off on one of his conspiracy theories

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Paige and the double crosser face off. Paige profiles him to his face.

Scene Arc: Paige gets to interrogate the double crosser and breaks him.

Essence: Paige takes down the double crosser

Conflict: The double cross tries to come up with excuses for what he did; Paige refutes them all.

Subtext: Paige is smarter than the double crosser and one of Jason’s conspiracy theories was true!

Hope/Fear: Paige gives the double crosser his come up-ance, the double crosser doesn’t break.

Humor:

INT. PAIGE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Knock on the door. James/Jason. He’s given up witness protection to be with Paige.

Scene Arc: From Paige alone in her apartment to being with Jason.

Essence: Paige and Jason become a couple.

Conflict: She can’t be with him she’s a Marshall and he’s in WITSEC.

Subtext: Paige and Jason are meant to be together.

Hope/Fear: She refuses him/ She agrees to be with him.

Humor: Setting ground rules about the relationship

[Jacqueline Murphy]

Jacqueline Murphy Scene Requirements Mod 4 Les 9 August 18,

VISION: To empower myself to go for my dreams to be a great writer, actress and filmmaker who is “Admired”, recognized and sought after by the industry and has many successful TV & Film projects produced that make a difference and inspire others to go for their dreams.

What I learned from doing this assignment is filling in assignments and looking at simple beat sheets helped as a marker. Glad I just did without judgement knowing I can “perfect later.

Go through your entire outline and make it look like the examples above. Start this assignment by empowering yourself using our State-To-Activity empowerment process. State: I have so much fun…Activity: …creating scene requirements for my outline

ACT 1

EXT. GATE PARAMOUNT STUDIO — TWILIGHT

Scene Arc: Olivia is floating above Paramount Studio with the family heirloom-a kaleidoscope that projects through the “prism” the world of her dreams-to be a Movie Star.

Essence: Olivia fantasizes about being a star on the Paramount Lot

Conflict: Does she have the talent to make her dream happen? Is it real or a fantasy.

Subtext: Olivia is pretending to be a star and “practices” her magic.

Hope/Fear: Olivia hopes her dream happen but fears it’s just an illusion.

INT. OLIVIA’S MOTHERS HOME BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Olivia visits her mom watching an old Veronica Lake movie ,both recite well known lines together. Her mom gives her a kaleidoscope a family heirloom. Olivia covers her mom, takes the seat by the bed and holds her hand as they both fall asleep. Olivia wakes to find her mom has passed away.

Essence: Olivia comforts her mom who dies while she’s there. All Olivia is left with is the family heirloom a Kaleidoscope.

Conflict: Olivia is now an “orphan” accept for her niece Norma.

Subtext: Alone and bereft, Olivia flounders over what’s next for her.

Hope/Fear: Olivia hopes she can fill the loss, fearing pain of loss

INT. NETFLIX – DAY

Scene Arc: Olivia goes to her audition and is rejected but meets a producer Mr. Z who gives her his card. She invites him to the opening of her one woman show on “Veronica Lake” in the “Actors Theatre” that night.

Essence: Olivia wants to have her talent recognized with her one woman show and book the role at the audition.

Conflict: Will she book the role.

Subtext: Olivia does her best to ace it.

Hope/Fear: O hopes she’ll win the part, fearing she’ll be rejected.

EXT. THEATRE WEST HOLLYWOOD – DUSK

We see patrons enter and the poster of Olivia in her one woman show. Olivia, Norma are together and Mr. Z stands in the back of the theatre.

INT. THEATRE – NIGHT

Olivia is on the stage her performance is brilliant. Z stands in the back of the theatre watching.

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT. HOLLYWOOD RESTAURANT – NEXT DAY

Olivia meets her BBF Angelica a psychic working at Hollywood hotspot for her annual birthday celebration and tarot reading. Angelica refuses the reading wanting to keep Olivia grounded but a seductive Mr. Z offers to make O a star.

Essence: A desperate Olivia wants to “know” she’ll be a star is rejected a tarot reading by her BBF but a handsome Sorcerer offers Olivia her dream.

Conflict: Can Z make me a star? Why is A not reading my cards?

Subtext: Z wants O’s power. A is O’s angel and knows Z is dangerous & loves O romantically wanting O for herself. O driven to fill the void with stardom

Hope/Fears: O hopes stardom is in her grasp! Fears more loss and rejection. Z hopes to “Trick” O to time travel with him to the Old Holllywood Dimension to “steal her hidden talent for magic”. Angel hope to talk “sense” to O but Clever Z causes O to mistrust A.

INT. HOLLYWOOD RESTAURANT –NIGHT

Z time travels O to 1940’s Hollywood Dimension as a movie star once he strikes a Faustian Deal with her that he has the kaleidoscope and her soul-she can never return to the real world.

Essence: Z time travels O to 1940’s Hollywood where she is a star but she’s given him the powerful kaleidoscope & her soul.

Conflict: Will Z get the power he desires and rule the Old Hollywood Dimension? Will O be happy here and be the star she dreams of?

Hope/Fear: Z hopes to win the throne in OHD. Fears he’ll be found out. O hopes she can be the movie star she wants and fears she’ll flounder and miss home.

ACT 2

INT. ELEVATOR MAGIC PORTAL – NIGHT

Olivia dressed like “Cinderella” in a white gown, crown, long white gloves steps out of the portal into the Cicada clubs and is surrounded by adoring fans and paparazzi snapping photos.

INT. CICADA CLUB STAGE – NIGHT

Davey Haze introduces O and invites her up on the stage to sing to her adoring fans while paparazzi snap photos.

Essence: Olivia is in the spotlight, a star with adoring fans.

Conflict: Both Z and Olivia wonder if they can have their wishes fulfilled in the OHD

Hope/Fear: O hopes she’ll be the reigning star and Z hopes to rule. Z Z & O fears they’ll be found out and their hopes dashed.

INT. CICADA CLUB MGM STUDIOHEAD POWER TABLE – NIGHT

Essence: Z introduces Olivia to MGM Studio head Sam Meyer & Oscar winning director Taylor Desmond who offer her a starring role.

Conflict: Is this for real? What is the price? Too good to be true? Will O or Z be caught?

Subtext: O plays along.

Hope/Fear: Hopes it’ll happen, fears she’ll be found out as a phony.

TURNING POINT:

INT. CICADA CLUB STAGE – NIGHT

Davey introduces Starlet Moore as the newest star. Studio Head Sam tells Olivia he’s given Starlet her part but she can play the mother. Davey comes on to Olivia hinting he’ll help her get her position with the studio back but it’s another dangerous offer. Olivia is hurtled in this dangerous world and wants to go back. Z refuses.

Essence: The grass isn’t greener, the OHD is dangerous and when Cicada Club Mafia Boss and Studio Head Sam manipulate O she wants to go back.

Conflict: O wonders if she can make it and torn which world is best for her, misses A. and home.

Subtext: O hides her regret and concern for her safety.

Hope/Fear: O hopes she can “play” along and win but fears she’s in over her head.

ACT 2 (NEW PLAN)

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

O searching for her “roots” goes to OHD cemetery to discover her family tombstone, greeted by a mentoring Goddess who offers to guide her and develop her hidden talent for magic.

Essence: Will Olivia find out who she really is and her true purpose?

Conflict: Is her place in the OHD, does she want to make it here and accept the Goddess’s help?
Subtext: Is this just another set up?
Hope/Fear: Hopes this’ll bring her closer to her “truth” and desire to be a star. Fears it’s more of the same.

TURNING POINT 2

Angelica seeing in her crystal ball O is in trouble decides to time travel to OHD and reveal to O that she is her angel and warn O to be true to herself.

INT. PARAMOUNT STUDIO DRESSING ROOM – DAY

Essence: A frustrated Olivia studying the “mother” role is visted by A and told to be true to herself.

Conflict? Will Olivia go back to the real world with A and stay safe?

Subtext: Angelica hopes to convince Olivia to go back to the real world with her

Hope: A hopes O will listen but O hopes she can rise above with her talent and be a star. Fear: A will be rejected by O and O fears she “won’t be a star”

INT. PARAMOUNT DRESSING ROOM – NIGHT

Essence: O practices with the tarot cards and a few magic tricks the Goddess taught her. She succeeds at lifting the tarot in the air to reveal the future.

Conflict: O wonders if all this is worth it and if she can control her own destiny with magic or be chosen for who she really is.

Subtext: O wonders am I worthy, do I really have what it takes?
Hope/Fear: O hopes she can pull it off and empower herself and fears that she is powerless and can’t control her destiny.

EXT. CICADA CLUB – NIGHT

A ups the ante telling O is needed to go back home to help her niece Norma whose lost without her and in trouble with drugs.

Essence: Angelica gets Olivia to agree to ask Z to get her back to the real world to help her niece.

Conflict: O doesn’t want to leave this world she’s just getting a handle on but her niece is in trouble.

Subtext: Tired of lack of success and frustrations but not ready to leave OHD

Hope/Fear: O hopes she can go back and forth at will. Fear she’s stuck

ACT 3

INT. CICADA CLUB – NIGHT

Olivia decides to go back to help her niece Norma but Z refuses causing O to go into a rage that releases “some” magic ability allowing her to time travel herself to the real world.

Essence: O realizes she can time travel herself to the real world

Conflict: Will the magic last and allow her to go back and forth freely

Subtext: Will I be able to do as I wish or be beholden to Z and others

Hope/Fear: O hopes to help Norma and figure out where she really wants to be but fears that she’ll be stuck by others deciding for her.

ACT 3 TURNING POINT:

Z and A follow O back to the real world. Z outsmarts all by luring Olivia’s niece Norma into the portal promising her she will be a star.

INT. OLIVIA’S HOME – NIGHT

Olivia is back at home and Norma’s doing well until Z and A arrive in her living room and Z takes Norma back to the OHD

Essence: Z uses his power to take Norma to OHD and forces O to go back so he can complete stealing her power there. A and O are forced to go through the portal

Conflict; Will the plan succeed? Who will win

Subtext: Z pretends he’s more powerful than he is and keeps Olivia’s true power source-the kaleidoscope from her.

Hope/Fear: Z hopes he can complete his mission to rule OHD but fears O’s magic will become more powerful as the electric storm and portal is closing.

INT. PARAMOUNT STUDIO SET – DAY

Z creates enemies of Norma and Olivia by having them both nominated for an Oscar and in competition.

Essence: Z tries to keep O busy with her desire for stardom while he amasses power.

Conflict; Will I succeed and win the OHD Throne.

Subtext: I’m so close

Hope/Fear: Hope Olivia will be content with stardom and not bother finding out any more about her magic power. Fear the Goddess or A will interfere.

ACT 4

EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT

Searching for the Goddess and guidance Olivia visits the cemetery during a storm to find her real father!

Essence: Olivia tries to figure out the right thing to do for herself and Norma. Seeking guidance from the Goddess she finds her real father instead who reveals what must be done.

Conflict: Olivia takes a hard look at her life and what’s important.

Subtext: Is fame, desire, power and magic worth it?
Hope/Fear: Olivia hopes to get some insight and empowerment but fears she’s led around by others.

EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT

Olivia’s father tells her “how” to empower herself, release him from the spell and save the OHD.

Essence: Olivia tries to effectuate what her father has told her to do.

Conflict; Is this another ruse? Can I pull it off? Will the OHD kingdom get behind me. Can I defeat Mr. Z

Subtext: Do I have what it takes to put things right

Hope/Fear: Hope is to be a better person and empower others, release father from spell and help Norma. Fear is she’ll fail.

ACT 4 CLIMAX

EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT

Z finds O at the cemetery realizes she knows her power and challenges her to a magic duel to win the power while he can

Essence: Whole kingdom watch as Z & O battle it out, grabbing what is hers from his hand: The KaleidOscope throws her up in the air releasing her power, breaking her father’s spell, the GOLDEN Lady shows up-her mom, COVEN gather round proclaiming O as the ruler.

Conflict; Who will win, whose kingdom is it.

Subtext: Can I pull this off/

Hope/Fear: Set my family free and give throne to rightful ruler/fear what if it’s me?

INT. PALACE OHD – DAY

Olivia is crowned ruler of OHD and all come to her aid.

Essence: Balance is restored and the true ruler Olivia is crowned OHD Ruler

Conflict: Can I do this, am I worthy, was this my purpose or stardom?

Subtext: Is this what I’m supposed to be doing. Can I handle this?
Hope/Fear: Hope to keep fair rule empowering all but fear turmoil will begin again

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Scene Requirements

What I learned from doing this assignment is I had a lot of the setups and reveals built in, but I added more and flushed out a couple of things. I still have more to discover, and I can’t wait to see my final script.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Lonnie and a dark figure fight in the pouring rain. Lonnie is stabbed. Another dark figure rushes up, and as he grabs for the knife, his arm is slashed. The dark figure chases the perpetrator down the street.

Essence: Lonnie is attacked.

Conflict: Knife fight.

Subtext: Lonnie knows something and was attacked for it.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie escapes. We fear he gets killed.

Scene Arc: Lonnie is attacked to the attacker gets away.

INT. HOSPITAL ER ROOM – DAY

Eppsa, dressed in black, runs down the ER hallway. As she approaches a doctor and nurse talking, they say Hayden Kestner is a hero by trying to save his pastor. As they head to his room, there’s a code blue. The doctor sets Hayden’s chart on a cart. He and the nurse rush into a room. Eppsa looks at the chart and goes to Hayden’s room. The bed is empty.

Eppsa turns to see Lonnie walk across the hall and disappear.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Hayden.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t find Hayden.

Subtext: Eppsa can see ghosts.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear Lonnie’s spirit.

Scene Arc:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She reluctantly talks to him. Lonnie claims he was murdered but doesn’t know who killed him. He needs Eppsa to help find his killer. Eppsa says she can’t help him. She can’t even find her son, Hayden, who stopped talking to her because they had a fight.

Lonnie knows the next victim will be Ramone Deliz.

Essence: Lonnie needs help finding his killer.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t want to help him.

Subtext: Eppsa doesn’t feel worthy.

Hope/Fear: We hope the killer is found. We fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa reluctantly talks to Lonnie’s spirit to see if he needs help. She says she can’t help him.

EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden and his son, Evren (16), are in Hayden’s ice cream truck in an affluent neighborhood. Evren inspects Hayden’s sutures because there is blood on the floor. It turns out a freezer malfunctioned, and cherry popsicles melted.

Essence: Evren is concerned about his dad.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear he’s bleeding out.

Scene Arc: They are selling ice cream. They think blood is on the floor of the truck. A freezer malfunctioned, and it’s only melted cherry popsicles that melted.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Ramone appears in the cemetery. Lonnie greets him, and they disappear.

Essence: Ramone is dead.

Conflict:

Subtext: Ramone was killed by the serial killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope the serial killer is caught. We fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Ramone’s spirit appears confused in the cemetery until Lonnie shows up.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Eppsa watches the news. A teenager, Ramone, was found. He’s a victim of suicide.

Essence: Eppsa realizes Lonnie was right.

Conflict: She’s upset that Ramone killed himself.

Subtext: Eppsa is intrigued by Lonnie.

Hope/Fear: We hope she helps Lonnie. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: She’s surprised about Ramone. She thinks he killed himself and is not a serial killer victim.

ACT 2:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa meets with Lonnie. She wants to know how he knew Ramone was going to die. Lonnie says he has a feeling it was a serial killer but doesn’t know anything else.

Essence: Eppsa is curious about what Lonnie knows.

Conflict: She wants answers, but Lonnie doesn’t know much.

Subtext: Eppsa is skeptical.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie has answers. We fear the killer won’t be found.

Scene Arc: Lonnie knew who was next to die but doesn’t know how else to help.

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – NIGHT

Hayden cleans a box of ice cream that had fallen and melted on the floor of his ice cream truck. The police call him to schedule a time for him to come in to do a police sketch.

Essence: Hayden cleans the red sticky mess, which resembles blood.

Conflict: Hayden has to go to the police.

Subtext: Hayden doesn’t want to go to the station.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden cleans the red floor.

EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa irons her mourning outfits. Lonnie appears. He is desperate to have her to call the police about the serial killer. He disappears. She calls the cops, but they can’t hear her and tells her to call back or come in.

Essence: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie but will at least try.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t want to help Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa doubts Lonnie.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie is right. We fear he’s wrong.

Scene Arc: Eppsa doesn’t care about helping Lonnie. She tries to call the cops.

INT. POLICE STATION – OFFICER MOSS’ DESK – DAY

Hayden describes the perpetrator to Officer Moss who is making a sketch.

Essence: Hayden is pretending to cooperate.

Conflict: Hayden isn’t helping the police.

Subtext: Hayden is throwing the cops in a different direction.

Hope/Fear: We hope the sketch helps. We fear the cops won’t find the killer.

Scene Arc:

INT. POLICE STATION – FRONT DESK – SAME

Eppsa waits in the busy station. An officer calls her over. She walks past Hayden who has his back to her.

Essence: Eppsa believes a cop is going to help her.

Conflict:

Subtext: She’s a ghost and isn’t seen.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cop helps Eppsa. We fear they won’t find the killer.

Scene Arc: She heads to the cop but is distracted by hearing Hayden’s name.

INT. POLICE STATION – OFFICER MOSS’ DESK – SAME

Hayden finishes the sketch. He gets the chills as he gets up. As he walks off, Officer Moss yells he’s getting a Good Samaritan award next week.

Essence: Hayden feels his mother’s presence. (Maybe he will smell her perfume.)

Conflict:

Subtext: He feels the spirit of his mother’s presence.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: He’s glad to be finished, but he has a weird feeling.

INT. POLICE STATION – BULLPEN – SAME

Eppsa hears Officer Moss call Hayden’s name. She rushes after Hayden, but he gets in his car and drives away.

Essence: Eppsa wants to find her son to apologize.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t catch up to Hayden.

Subtext: She’s a ghost, and Hayden doesn’t see her.

Hope/Fear: We hope she catches up to Hayden. We fear he’ll get away.

Scene Arc: She heads to the cop but is distracted by hearing Hayden’s name.

EXT. POLICE STATION – PARKING LOT – DAY

Eppsa overhears cops standing next to their cars that there’s an epidemic of people dying from suicide and copying TikTok challenges.

Essence: Eppsa believes the cops about how people are dying.

Conflict: Eppsa no longer believes Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa believes the cops and not Lonnie.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cops are right. We fear they aren’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is worried and wants to report a possible serial killer. Overhearing the cops, she believes them.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa explains to Lonnie there’s no serial killer. She wants him to leave her alone and move on. He says the next victim is Finnick Ziccardi.

Essence: Eppsa is finished helping Lonnie.

Conflict: Lonnie needs Eppsa’s help.

Subtext: Eppsa thinks Lonnie is just a lost soul who can’t let go.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa is right. We fear Finnick will be the next victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is done helping Lonnie, to Lonnie knows another name.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa talks to the psychic, Clover, to help Lonnie pass over.

Essence: Eppsa wants Lonnie to pass over.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa is a lost spirit, too.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover can help Eppsa. We fear Lonnie will never pass over.

Scene Arc: Eppsa hopes Clover can help, but Clover can’t.

EXT. FISHING POND – DAY

While fishing, Evren asks Hayden if his new friend Reece Ziccardi can go hunting with them on their next trip. Hayden wants to know if his dad’s name is Finnick because they were friends in high school. Evren doesn’t know.

Essence: Evren wants a new friend to hunt with them.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows Finnick who will be on his list.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden and Evren are fishing. Hayden needs to meet Reece and his dad.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa’s neighbor, Bess, stops by to tell her about her trip to Nepal and how she almost died climbing Mt. Everest, but the rescue team revived her. Bess doesn’t know she died on the mountain and can’t cross over because she is waiting for her husband to come home from a business trip.

Essence: Bess talks to Eppsa about her trip to Nepal, where she died but was brought back to life.

Conflict:

Subtext: Bess is a ghost.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: They have a nice visit. Bess is sad waiting for her husband.

EXT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

At Ramone’s funeral, Lonnie talks to Clair (6), who attends her brother’s funeral. He wants her to give a message to Eppsa, who will be wearing all black and carrying a white rose. The next victim is Tavish Stark. He’s a member of the church. Lonnie disappears.

Eppsa attends Ramone’s funeral. Clair tells Eppsa what Lonnie says. She asks Clair what happened to Finnick. Clair doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Eppsa will prove Lonnie wrong, once and for all.

Essence: Lonnie has Clair give Eppsa a message.

Conflict: Eppsa is mad at Lonnie. He was

Subtext: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie because he was wrong about Finnick.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa proves Lonnie is wrong. We fear Tavish will be the next victim.

Scene Arc: Lonnie wants Eppsa to stop Tavish from dying. Eppsa wants to prove Tavish is okay.

EXT. ROAD – DAY

Hayden and Evren look for a good spot to sell ice cream.

Essence: Hayden and Evren are selling ice cream.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden is looking for his next victim.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc:

INT. CHURCH – LONNIE’S OFFICE – DAY

Eppsa sneaks in and looks through the church member registry and finds Tavish’s address. Pastor Palmer McKee enters. She apologizes and runs out.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Tavish’s address to help him.

Conflict: Eppsa is caught by Pastor Palmer McKee.

Subtext: They are both ghosts.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa finds Tavish. We fear Tavish dies.

Scene Arc: Eppsa looks for Tavish’s address. She is caught going through the computer by the pastor.

INT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

A masked man makes Tavish drink something (out of an old “teacher of the year” cup) like they do in TikTok videos.

Essence: Tavish is being murdered by a serial killer.

Conflict: Tavish is being murdered.

Subtext: There is a serial killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tavish gets away. We fear he will die.

Scene Arc: Tavish struggles and dies.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

As Ramone’s casket is lowered, Tavish’s spirit shows up in the cemetery and looks at Lonnie. He knows Eppsa is too late.

Essence: Lonnie knows Tavish died.

Conflict: Lonnie can’t stop the killer.

Subtext: Lonnie knows when people die by the serial killer’s hand.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Ramone is buried, and Lonnie realizes Tavish is murdered.

EXT. PARK – DAY

Hayden is in the ice cream truck surrounded by children in a neighborhood park. Evren comes out of the public bathroom behind the truck and climbs inside to help with customers.

Essence: Evren uses the bathroom.

Conflict:

Subtext: Evren killed Tavish.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden helps kids buy ice cream. Evren joins him, and they leave.

EXT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

Eppsa knocks on the door. No answer. She goes around back and sees Tavish dead on the floor. Tavish’s wife enters the kitchen and screams. Eppsa runs.

Essence: Eppsa discovers Tavish’s dead.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa doesn’t find Tavish. We fear she will get caught.

Scene Arc: Eppsa thinks Tavish is safe. She finds him dead.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Lonnie appears in front of Eppsa. She’s mad at Lonnie and wants him to stop haunting her. He was wrong about Finnick because no one named Finnick has died. Tavish was a coincidence. He’s wrong about a serial killer on the loose.

Essence: Eppsa doesn’t want Lonnie around.

Conflict: Lonnie wants help. Eppsa wants him to go.

Subtext: Lonnie is right.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa is right. We fear Lonnie is right.

Scene Arc: Lonnie appears at Eppsa’s house. He still needs her help. She refuses.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY

Hayden, Neta (Hayden’s wife), Evren, Finnick, and Reece have dinner. Hayden reminisces with Finnick. They have a disagreement.

Essence: Hayden wants to get to know Finnick.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden wants to know how to find Finnick to kill him and resolve the past.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden is reacquainted with Finnick. They have a disagreement.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa has Clover channel Lonnie. Lonnie wants to pass over, but he can’t until the killer is stopped.

Essence: Eppsa uses Clover to help Lonnie.

Conflict: Eppsa wants him to go. Lonnie won’t pass over.

Subtext: Clover wants to help both of them pass over.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie passes over. We fear he will be around forever.

Scene Arc: Eppsa and Clover channel Lonnie to help him. Lonnie can’t go until his killer is found.

INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden and Evren bring ice cream to the soup kitchen. Hayden inquires about Kenji. He is told Kenji was hospitalized but will be released soon. The staff is grateful for Hayden and his kindness.

Essence: Hayden and Evren bring ice cream to the soup kitchen to make homeless people’s lives better.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden is checking in on Kenji, who will be another victim.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden and Evren supply ice cream. Hayden’s friend, Kenji, is in the hospital.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa hears a scream and a crash outside her house. Bess runs up the stairs to tell Eppsa that a bicyclist was hit, and she needs to call 911.

Essence: There’s an accident outside Eppsa’s house.

Conflict:

Subtext: The bicyclist saw Bess and fell.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa helps Bess and calls 911. They can’t hear because of the static.

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award.

Essence: Hayden is a good guy.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden plays the part of a good guy.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc:

ACT 3:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Tavish’s funeral. Lonnie calls her over. They argue. He tells her the victims all attended Seneca high school, although some are teens and some are adults. He can’t figure out the connection. Eppsa says that’s where her son, Hayden, attended. Now, she’s worried Hayden might become a victim, and she must find him.

Essence: Lonnie discovers the people who died attended the same high school. Eppsa worries about Hayden.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear he will become a victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is at a funeral. She talks to Lonnie who clues her in the high school connection.

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden is questioned again to see if he can think of anything new.

Essence: The cops can’t figure out who killed Lonnie.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows the killer and won’t tell the police.

Hope/Fear: We hope the killer is found. We fear they won’t.

Scene Arc:

INT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

Eppsa prays in a pew. She goes over to comfort an old woman crying over the 15th anniversary of her grandson’s death. The grandmother is still convinced Monroe didn’t kill himself.

Essence: Eppsa helps a grieving grandmother.

Conflict:

Subtext: Her grandson, Monroe, was murdered by the same serial killer.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa prays. Then she helps a grandmother.

INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden visits Kenji at the soup kitchen. Kenji never got over the death of his best friend, Monroe.

Essence: Hayden talks to his friend about Monroe.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows what happened to Monroe.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden visits Kenji. Kenji can’t deal with losing his best friend, Monroe.

INT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

Lonnie prays for guidance.

Essence: Lonnie prays for help.

Conflict: He wants to pass over.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope he finds his killer. We fear he will never pass over.

Scene Arc:

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa asks Bess for advice on getting rid of spirits that can’t pass over. Bess says maybe they can conduct a seance.

Essence: Eppsa turns to Bess for advice on getting rid of spirits.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa and Bess are spirits who can’t pass over.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa asks for help. Bess suggests a seance.

TURNING POINT 3:

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa wants Clover to help her find Hayden. When Clover can’t find him, she wants Clover to channel her husband, Gruzby. He adored Hayden and will know where to find him. He’s probably protecting him. Clover can’t see Gruzby.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Hayden by any means.

Conflict: Clover isn’t able to find Hayden and Gruzby is in Hell.

Subtext: Clover can only talk to the dead.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover can help. We fear Eppsa won’t find Hayden.

Scene Arc: Eppsa uses Clover to find Hayden. She can’t find him and Gruzby is in Hell.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Hayden takes Evren hunting. Hayden explains that killing is okay when protecting someone or if you need food. Reece wasn’t invited because of something.

Essence: Hayden is teaching Evren about life.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden justifies it’s okay to kill people to protect family and friends.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: They are hunting. One of them shoots an animal.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

After a funeral, Eppsa sees Monroe’s grandmother at his gravesite. Eppsa recognizes his Seneca letterman jacket in his faded headstone picture.

Eppsa excuses herself when she sees Lonnie. The grandmother goes back to the church to pray.

Lonnie talks to Eppsa. He says the victims are waiting to pass over. He begs her to help. She walks away.

Essence: Eppsa is flustered when she realizes Monroe when to the same high school.

Conflict:

Subtext: Monroe was killed. He wasn’t suicidal.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa comforts Monroe’s grandmother. Lonnie needs Eppsa to hurry because the victims are still waiting to pass.

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden sells ice cream. His freezer shakes and makes a horrible noise. Hayden pounds on the freezer. The noise stops.

Essence: Hayden’s broken freezer is acting up.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden has someone in his freezer.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden is selling ice cream. His freezer is still broken.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie meets up with Kenji.

Essence: Lonnie and Kenji are in the cemetery with the other victims.

Conflict:

Subtext: Kenji is dead.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Lonnie and Kenji meet up and disappear.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Lonnie’s spirit appears in Clover’s store. He wants to know how he can help Eppsa find the killer. Once the killings stop, he can pass over.

Essence: Lonnie wants Clover to help him with finding his killer.

Conflict:

Subtext: Clover can’t help him.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Lonnie appears to Clover. He needs her help. She is unable to help him.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa has two out of three addresses with their last name, Kestner, crossed off. Lonnie shows up. Eppsa argues with him. She throws something at him to scare him off.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Hayden and doesn’t have time for Lonnie.

Conflict: Lonnie is mad that Eppsa won’t help him.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa helps Lonnie. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is looking for Hayden. She fights with Lonnie, so he’ll leave her alone.

EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

In a ghetto area, a woman flags Hayden to stop. When she buys an ice cream, she inquires about some red liquid on the floor. He claims his cherry popsicles melted from a malfunctioning freezer. As a food truck inspector, she’s great at fixing freezers. When she tries to get inside, he is kills her, but her phone rings. The woman has an emergency and leaves.

Essence: A women wants to fix Hayden’s broken freezer.

Conflict: Hayden doesn’t want the woman in his truck.

Subtext: Hayden has a body in his freezer.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden doesn’t kill her. We fear he will.

Scene Arc: Hayden goes from selling ice cream to almost killing a woman.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Eppsa and Bess hold a seance to get rid of Lonnie and set the victims free. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is gone.

Essence: Bess helps Eppsa send Lonnie, and anyone else who is lingering with Lonnie, to pass to the other side.

Conflict: They are spirits and can’t get rid of spirits.

Subtext: Eppsa and Bess are ghosts, just like Lonnie and the others.

Hope/Fear: We hope they can help the lost spirits. We fear they won’t pass over.

Scene Arc: They hold a seance, but it fails.

EXT. CAR WASH – NIGHT

Hayden cleans the truck floor. There’s red on the ground that was washed out of the truck. He picks up a handkerchief in the corner that Kenji had on his head. A cop comes up and wants to buy an ice cream cone. Hayden says his freezers are broken. He carefully reaches in and pulls out a soggy ice cream box. He points to the red mess on the ground. The cop leaves. Hayden throws a handkerchief in the trash.

Essence: Hayden cleans blood off the floor of his ice cream truck and deciles the cop.

Conflict: Hayden is spraying blood off his ice cream truck floor. The cop is suspicious but believes Hayden that it’s melted red popsicles.

Subtext: Hayden is a killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cop catches Hayden. We fear Hayden will kill the cop.

Scene Arc:

ACT 4:

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa listens to the news. Kenji’s name in the obituary. His body was found in a dilapidated warehouse. He was stabbed multiple times but ultimately bled to death.

Essence: Eppsa is sad that a homeless man was killed.

Conflict:

Subtext: Kenji was killed by Hayden.

Hope/Fear: We hope Kenji’s killer is found. We fear he was killed by the serial killer.

Scene Arc:

EXT. FINNICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Hayden and Finnick are building a fence. Finnick makes a comment about suicides in their childhood. He always thought Hayden’s dad was suspicious. They get into an argument.

Hayden admits his dad killed Monroe because he and his friends beat up Hayden, daily. Hayden only killed Pastor Palmer McKee because the pastor found something that implicated his dad. Recently, Hayden admits he finally killed Monroe’s two other friends. He has only killed people who deserve it.

Hayden kills Finnick but makes it look like Finnick died by having an accident with his circular saw. Hayden flees.

Essence: Finnick had a sense from their high school days that Gruzby was a killer.

Conflict: Hayden is mad that Finnick accused his dad and kills him.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Finnick and Hayden stop fighting. We fear Hayden will kill Finnick.

Scene Arc: Hayden and Finnick mend a fence. They fight and Hayden kills Finnick.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie greets Finnick. Lonnie sees Hayden speed by in his ice cream truck.

Essence: Finnick is one of Hayden’s victims.

Conflict:

Subtext: Lonnie

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie recognizes Hayden as his killer. We fear Hayden will get away with murder.

Scene Arc: Lonnie is sad to see Finnick. He’s shocked that he remembers Hayden.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Kenji’s funeral. Lonnie meets up with Eppsa and tells her Hayden is the killer. She denies it. Lonnie wants her to go home and think of the fight she had with Hayden before he stopped talking to her. It might spark a memory.

Essence: Lonnie reveals his killer to Eppsa.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie.

Subtext: Deep down, Eppsa knows the truth.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa believes Lonnie. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is told Hayden is the serial killer. Eppsa denies it and goes home to ponder her fight with Hayden.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa lays in bed thinking about Hayden. She falls asleep. She dreams of the fight she had with her husband, Gruzby. She is aiming a gun at Gruzby because she discovered he killed Monroe. Hayden comes in. When Hayden grabs the gun, it goes off and kills Gruzby. Infuriated that Eppsa killed his dad, Hayden shoots Eppsa. The cops felt bad that Hayden witnessed the murder-suicide.

She wakes up to see her house is dilapidated.

Essence: Eppsa remembers her fight with Gruzby and that Hayden shot her in anger.

Conflict: Eppsa discovered Gruzby was a murderer and she killed her husband. Then, Hayden kills her.

Subtext: Gruzby was a serial killer and Hayden is following in his footsteps.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa kills Gruzby. We fear Eppsa will die.

Scene Arc: Eppsa and Gruzby are fighting. Hayden tries to stop Eppsa from killing his dad. Gruzby dies and Hayden kills Eppsa. Eppsa realizes she’s dead.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – GARAGE – DAY

Hayden and Neta fight. Maybe Neta found something and believes Hayden is the murderer. Hayden wants a divorce. Neta opens her phone to call the police.

Hayden grabs a knife and is about to stab Neta when Eppsa appears.

Hayden loosens his grip on Neta when he sees his mom’s spirit. Neta can’t see her.

Eppsa apologizes. Hayden freaks. Eppsa tries to get the knife out of his hand.

Evren enters and sees Hayden holding onto his mom and in a position to stab her. He rushes back inside.

Hayden struggles with Eppsa. As he’s about to stab Neta, Evren shoots Hayden.

Essence: When Hayden and Neta are fighting, Eppsa appears and Hayden tries to stop Hayden from killing Neta.

Conflict: Neta knows Hayden killed someone. Eppsa wants the killings to stop.

Subtext: Eppsa is angry she didn’t know Hayden was a serial killer like his dad.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden dies. We fear he will kill Neta and Evren.

Scene Arc: Hayden and Neta fight. Eppsa appears and tries to stop him. Evren sees and kills Hayden.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa is at her gravesite. She reads her headstone. Lonnie tells Eppsa that Hayden is with Gruzby in Hell.

She calls out to Bess. Eppsa and Lonnie walk Bess over to her fresh grave.

The victims come out and they all disappear.

Essence: Eppsa sees her headstone and comes to terms with being dead.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa is relieved.

Hope/Fear: We hope they go to heaven. We fear someone will get killed again and they stay.

Scene Arc: The victims appear at the gravesite. They all pass over.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – EVREN’S ROOM – NIGHT

Evren looks at his list of names crossed off. Neta calls him down to dinner. He tucks the list away in a book and goes downstairs to join her.

Essence: Evren is a serial killer.

Conflict:

Subtext: Evren will continue to kill.

Hope/Fear: We hope he stops killing. We fear he won’t stop.

Scene Arc: Evren tucks away a list of people he murdered and goes downstairs to eat.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Evren and Neta watch the news as they eat. The news says with the help of Evren, they found out Hayden was a serial killer. A cold wind blows through a window and gives Evren the chills. He looks around. A shadow appears in the hallway.

Essence: Evren was helpful by putting the blame on the deaths on his dad which took the heat off him. One of his victims is still lingering.

Conflict: Evren thinks he’s in the clear, but a spirit still lingers.

Subtext: Evren is a serial killer just like his dad.

Hope/Fear: We hope the spirit haunts Evren. We fear he will continue to kill.

Scene Arc: Evren is calm while watching the news and eating dinner with his mom. A spirit lingers in the shadows, and the wind blowing is a sign they are watching Evren.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Scene Requirements

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I have a number of scenes that need a lot of improvement – too many with the same answers and too many that are on the nose.

My outline is long so I’m only posting Acts 1 & 2 but have done them all.

Title: Rise of the Falcon

Genre: Action Thriller

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

INT. CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

Joaquin, a low-level cartel worker, called a falcon, and his co-workers are suffering the brutal leader. Undetected, Joaquin plays an underhanded prank on the leader, humiliating him. He threatens he’ll beat them all until someone confesses.

· Scene Arc: A funny prank to brutal threat.

· Essence: Joaquin hates the cartel and underhandedly humiliates them.

· Conflict: Underhanded revenge and punishment.

· Subtext: Joaquin is smarter than the cartel leader.

· Hope/fear: We hope he gets away with it. We fear for everyone’s safety.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin hates the cartel and wants out.

EXT. MEXICAN LANDSCAPE – DAY

A cartel convoy drives through a small town. Pulls up to a fenced in warehouse. The gate opens. Dante, the cartel drug lord’s second in command, climbs out of the jeep, an automatic weapon slung over his shoulder.

· Scene Arc: A peaceful town to cartel leader arriving at drug factory where Joaquin is.

· Essence: Dante is coming to get Joaquin.

· Conflict: Is he going to use the weapon?

· Subtext: No one is going to mess with Dante.

· Hope/fear: We hope he’s a good guy. We fear he’s not.

Deeper Layer: Dante is the heir apparent to be drug lord and red herring to who is terrorizing Joaquin’s family.

INT. CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

As the victim demands to know who did it, Dante storms in with an order for Joaquin to go with him to the cartel leader’s compound. Before they leave, Joaquin’s friend is wrongly accused of doing the prank. Dante kills him with one shot.

· Scene Arc: A funny prank to an execution.

· Essence: Dante is ruthless.

· Conflict: Joaquin and the cartel leaders.

· Subtext: Joaquin hates the cartel.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin gets away with it. We fear Dante will kill him.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin got his friend killed, but didn’t have the courage to fess up.

INT. TRUCK – DAY

Joaquin is distraught over this friend but can’t show it. Dante converses with Joaquin who starts to relax about his own predicament until he realizes they are headed to his house.

· Scene Arc: Traveling to headquarters to picking up his family.

· Essence: His family may be in danger too.

· Conflict: Dante driving to his house where his wife and kids are.

· Subtext: Joaquin wants to object, but afraid Dante will kill him or his family.

· Hope/fear: We hope Dante doesn’t hurt them. We fear the worst for his family.

Deeper Layer: Rodrigo is dying and the cartel order is about to change.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S HOME – DAY

Modest and rundown, the outside of the home is punctuated by a makeshift gun range in the desert yard. Tomas, Joaquin’s son (16), is shooting tin cans with good aim. Joaquin waves him inside, but Dante takes an interest in his skill and encourages him to continue.

· Scene Arc: Dante’s indifference to interest in Tomas’ skills.

· Essence: Dante takes and interest in Tomas’ skills.

· Conflict: Dante “overrules” Joaquin.

· Subtext: Dante is in charge, despite this being Joaquin’s house.

· Hope/fear: We hope Dante leaves the kid alone. We fear not.

INT. JOAQUIN’S HOME – DAY

Camila greets Dante with trepidation. In short shorts and a crop top, Isabel (15) catches Dante’s eye. Joaquin instructs Isabel to change and pack clothing. He sneaks a few minutes to warn his children to do what he taught them and keep their heads down. He has Tomas memorize the number of a distant cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin. Indicates to Tomas that he will sacrifice himself if need be.

· Scene Arc: Pleasantries to fearing Dante’s interest in Isabel.

· Essence: Dante is attracted to Isabel.

· Conflict: Father versus Dante’s interest in Isabel.

· Subtext: What is Dante going to do about his interest in her?

· Hope/fear: We hope Dante isn’t going to do anything inappropriate. We fear that he is.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin will need the help of the distant cousin.

EXT. CARTEL HEADQUARTERS IN MEXICAN CITY – DAY

The drug lord’s inner circle file into the compound. Dante pulls up with Joaquin and family. Arturo lingers by the jeep as Camila disembarks. They make eye contact, he nods. She hooks her arm around her husband’s and hurries away. Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – she grew up down the street from him – hard for a man to walk away from that.

· Scene Arc: Danger seems to have dissipated to intrigue between Arturo and Camila.

· Essence: Arturo and Camila have a past.

· Conflict: Camila wants nothing to do with Arturo, who now seems a threat to Joaquin.

· Subtext: Arturo and Camila’s past. Arturo’s dislike for Joaquin.

· Hope/fear: We hope there is no danger in the city. We fear Arturo.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is in love with Camila. They dated until he started rising in the cartel and showed his true colors. Arturo blames Joaquin and believes he can win back Camila if he proves Joaquin is no better than him.

INT. JOAQUIN FAMILY TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

Dante shows each family member their room. As he and Joaquin leave to go to the drug lord’s compound, Isabel finds a letter addressed to her on the bureau in her room. Opens it and is terrified.

· Scene Arc: Safe in a temporary residence to a terrifying message for Isabel.

· Essence: Isabel gets a letter.

· Conflict: An ambitious cartel member has his sights on Isabel.

· Subtext: They are not safe.

· Hope/fear: We hope they are safe. We’re afraid they aren’t.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there will be a competition for his successor. Points awarded based on activities that promote his infamy.

· Scene Arc: A friendly gathering of cartel leaders to a brutal competition for power.

· Essence: A competition for the drug lord’s successor.

· Conflict: Why was Joaquin summoned there?

· Subtext: He will join the competition.

· Hope/fear: Will he join the competition? Can he compete?

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND SITTING ROOM – DAY

Joaquin’s father was Rodrigo’s bodyguard and died trying to protect him. Rodrigo promised to protect Joaquin. His son was killed, Joaquin closest to son. Won’t be possible from the grave so he brought Joaquin to help him secure a good position in the new organization. Mention of his father is triggering for Joaquin.

· Scene Arc: There to comfort Rodrigo to pushing him up the cartel ladder.

· Essence: Rodrigo trying to help Joaquin.

· Conflict: Joaquin wants nothing to do with the plan.

· Subtext: Joaquin is being pushed to make a decision about his future.

· Hope/fear: We hope Rodrigo will let him leave the cartel. We fear he won’t.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin wants out and is going to compete.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND PATIO – DAY

During lunch with Arturo, Rodrigo belittles Joaquin. He’d hoped he could be his successor, but not a leader. Explains what it takes to protect the cartel. Joaquin takes it on the chin. Will have to hang his hat on loyalty. Rodrigo triggered by seeing US Director of Border Patrol, Maritza Montoya on TV.

· Scene Arc: Rodrigo belittling Joaquin to being triggered by Montoya.

· Essence: Running the cartel requires ruthlessness.

· Conflict: Rodrigo doesn’t believe Joaquin is capable.

· Subtext: Something happened with Montoya, which Arturo involved in.

· Hope/fear: We hope he shows Rodrigo what he can do. We fear he won’t.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Arturo prods Joaquin to get mad at Rodrigo and enter the competition to show him what he can do. Joaquin is smart in how he answers/doesn’t answer.

· Scene Arc: Arturo empathizes with Joaquin to prodding him to enter the competition.

· Essence: Arturo pushes Joaquin to enter.

· Conflict: Joaquin wants Arturo to back off.

· Subtext: Arturo’s scheme. Joaquin enters the competition.

· Hope/fear: We hope Arturo backs off. We fear Joaquin will enter.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is going to do everything he can to get Joaquin to enter the competition. Only way Joaquin can protect himself and his family is if he wins the competition and becomes drug lord.

INT. DINNER TABLE – NIGHT

Joaquin draws out of his family that an anonymous letter was left for Isabel that the writer expects to become the next drug lord and will take her as his wife.

· Scene Arc: Family dinner to contents of threatening letter.

· Essence: Possible cartel drug lord wants Isabel as his wife.

· Conflict: The family versus unknown assailant.

· Subtext: The letter is a plant for ulterior motive.

· Hope/fear: We hope they will ID the writer. We fear it’ll come out another way.

EXT. TOWN SQUARE – DAY

Arturo has a hallucination and almost kills Tomas.

· Scene Arc: Calm day to Arturo hallucinates and almost kills Tomas.

· Essence: Arturo is dangerous.

· Conflict: Arturo versus Tomas and Joaquin.

· Subtext: Arturo can’t be trusted.

· Hope/fear: We hope Tomas survives. We fear Arturo will kill him.

EXT. CANTINA – NIGHT

A cartel hang out. An old friend tells Joaquin they are all in trouble with this competition. Dante will likely win and is brutal; his brother Luis will rape every woman in the community; Arturo is a wild card and they’d have to be on-guard due to his hallucinations. He begs him to convince Rodrigo to appoint a less threatening drug lord.

· Scene Arc: Reconnect with old friend to pressure to talk to Rodrigo.

· Essence: No good scenario for the community.

· Conflict: His friend putting him in a difficult situation.

· Subtext: It’s up to Joaquin to fix this problem.

· Hope/fear: We hope he keeps his head down. We fear he won’t.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – NIGHT

In bathtub, Camila sees someone in the house watching her, but no one is there when she searches. Joaquin comes home to her shaking. Joaquin reveals there is a trap door that leads to the tunnels.

· Scene Arc: Relaxing to being stalked to trap door and tunnels.

· Essence: Someone is in their home, watching Camila.

· Conflict: Who is stalking and tormenting them?

· Subtext: Someone is tormenting Joaquin’s family.

· Hope/fear: We hope they figure it out soon. We fear something bad will happen.

INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

Joaquin searches the tunnels. Hears Dante. Hides. Finds C4. Hammers nails into the stairs/railing.

· Scene Arc: Searching empty tunnels to hearing Dante to finding C4.

· Essence: Red herring.

· Conflict: Will Joaquin get caught?

· Subtext: Believe the stalker is Dante.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin stays safe. We fear he’ll get caught and killed.

EXT. SOCCER FIELD – DAY

Joaquin stumbles into a conversation between Dante and Tomas about joining the cartel. Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, they get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

· Scene Arc: Dante recruiting Tomas to Joaquin’s wound.

· Essence: Joaquin talks a big game, but never leaves.

· Conflict: Will Tomas join the cartel against his father’s wishes?

· Subtext: Joaquin’s wound has to do with leaving the cartel.

· Hope/fear: We hope Tomas listens to his father. We fear he won’t.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is luring Joaquin into the competition by making him fearful of Dante, while also avoiding Camila knowing that he is the one terrorizing her family.

INT. RODRIGO’S SITTING ROOM – DAY

Joaquin sits with Rodrigo as he rehashes his life with Joaquin’s father. Joaquin seeks information about the point system and competitors but is antsy to leave.

· Scene Arc: Bonding moment to intrigue about Joaquin’s motives.

· Essence: Joaquin is learning all he can to have leg up in the competition.

· Conflict: Rodrigo feels Joaquin is being disrespectful.

· Subtext: Joaquin is going to enter the competition.

· Hope/fear: We hope he doesn’t piss off Rodrigo. We fear he will.

EXT. COMPETING DRUG CARTEL LAB – NIGHT

Under cloak of a hood and dark clothing, a man sets C4 around the perimeter of the lab. Sets it off and the lab explodes.

· Scene Arc: Dark calm night to explosion.

· Essence: A drug lab is blown up.

· Conflict: Who the perpetrator get caught?

· Subtext: It is Joaquin.

· Hope/fear: We fear he will get caught. We hope he doesn’t.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

Joaquin shows Rodrigo proof he blew up the lab and has entered the competition. Rodrigo declares it a death sentence.

· Scene Arc: Success to prediction it’ll be his death sentence.

· Essence: Joaquin gets his first points and is in the competition.

· Conflict: Rodrigo is fighting him on his entry.

· Subtext: Is Joaquin going to be killed?

· Hope/fear: We aren’t sure whether we want him in the competition or not.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

EXT. CITY SQUARE – NIGHT

Dante kills two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade – hangs their bodies, generating the first big points of the competition.

– Scene Arc: Ruthless killing to points in the competition.

· Essence: To gain big points you have to be ruthless.

· Conflict: Joaquin has no chance of winning.

· Subtext: Joaquin has to be ruthless to win.

· Hope/fear: We hope he doesn’t cross a moral line. We fear he will.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition – he can’t win because he won’t compromise his morals.

· Scene Arc: Camila listens to Joaquin’s plan to begging him not to.

· Essence: Joaquin has never killed or even injured a man.

· Conflict: In order to protect his family, he’ll have to sacrifice his morals.

· Subtext: Joaquin has made up his mind.

· Hope/fear: We hope he listens to her. We fear he won’t.

INT. CANTINA – DAY

Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by. Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel. Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante.

· Scene Arc: Dante is being secretive to someone has to kill him.

· Essence: Arturo is pushing Joaquin to kill Dante.

· Conflict: Who will kill and who will be killed? Joaquin doesn’t want to hear Arturo.

· Subtext: It’ll be between these three.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin can kill Dante, and Arturo. We fear he can’t.

EXT. PRISON – NIGHT

Arturo breaks a high-profile drug cartel member out of prison, his father.

· Scene Arc: Cartel member locked up to free.

· Essence: Arturo is on the board with points.

· Conflict: Arturo versus guards.

· Subtext: Father has sway in the cartel and will fight for Arturo to lead.

· Hope/fear: We hope they won’t be too powerful. We fear they will.

EXT. CANTINA

Arturo has a hallucination and wrecks havoc among the community. Joaquin stops him, but in the process almost gets himself killed.

· Scene Arc: Arturo hallucinates, his father laughs to Joaquin as hero.

· Essence: Arturo has a long-term obsession with Camila and plan to get her back.

· Conflict: Will Arturo kill someone?

· Subtext: Arturo is behind

· Hope/fear: We hope Arturo doesn’t kill someone? We fear he will.

Deeper Level: Joaquin is going to make Arturo think his hallucinations are getting worse and he’s losing it.

EXT. MARKET – DAY

Joaquin tells his “friend” he’d rather Dante win than Arturo and Dante’s best move would be to bribe the other competitors to join his team rather than compete against him. Swears him to secrecy about what he said.

– Scene Arc: Confiding to a friend to surprise he wants Dante to win.

· Essence: Joaquin is testing his friend.

· Conflict: Will his friend tell Dante?

· Subtext: Will his friend betray him and will it get Dante to back off?

· Hope/fear: We hope this gets Dante to back off. We fear it won’t.

INT. CANTINA – DAY

The “friend” betrays Joaquin’s confidence and tells Dante who convinces competitors to drop out and he’ll give them promotions in his organization when he takes over. Going to increase drug production in his facilities to gain more points.

· Scene Arc: Friend betrays Joaquin to he set him up.

· Essence: Joaquin now knows he can’t trust his friend.

· Conflict: His friend betrayed him.

· Subtext: Joaquin is outwitting his competitors.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin can keep his knowledge under wraps. We fear he won’t.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

Rodrigo summons Joaquin. He’s pissed more of his crew aren’t racking up points – for his infamy they all need to participate. Wants to know if Joaquin knows why, which he does, but he doesn’t want to tell Rodrigo b/c he sparked it and it helps him limit the number of competitors.

· Scene Arc: Rodrigo wants some intel from Joaquin, who lies to him.

· Essence: Joaquin is silently standing up to Rodrigo and Dante.

· Conflict: Will he tell Rodrigo the truth?

· Subtext: Joaquin is a puppet master.

· Hope/fear: We hope this doesn’t bite him. We fear it will.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him. Joaquin catches Camila and Arturo close together.

· Scene Arc: Camila asking Dante for help to Joaquin catching them together.

· Essence: This past relationship is trouble.

· Conflict: Arturo is coming between them.

· Subtext: Camila is hiding their past.

· Hope/fear: We hope she doesn’t make a mistake. We fear she will.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

She reveals their prior relationship to Joaquin who is furious and feels betrayed. They argue over it and Joaquin’s ability to win without compromising his morals.

· Scene Arc: Concern to betrayal.

· Essence: Joaquin and Camila had a serious relationship.

· Conflict: Is the past over?

· Subtext: Arturo is behind the stalking.

· Hope/fear: We fear this will break them up. We hope not.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND PATIO – DAY

Joaquin delivers a newspaper with the competition as the headline. Rodrigo is not impressed, in fact, he’s furious. It describes the competition in a cheesy light, not building his infamy. No points for Joaquin.

· Scene Arc: Joaquin completes another point getter to no points.

· Essence: Joaquin can’t win w/o compromising his morals.

· Conflict: Joaquin has now pissed off Rodrigo.

· Subtext: What is Rodrigo going to do?

· Hope/fear: We hope Rodrigo will forgive. We fear he won’t.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND OPEN AREA – DAY

The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin. Rodrigo announces that he will kill anyone who conspires together to win points. Defying him, Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

· Scene Arc: Joaquin is behind in points to his life is in danger.

· Essence: Arturo is coming for him.

· Conflict: Will Arturo kill him?

· Subtext: Arturo is the one pulling the strings.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin discovers what Arturo is up to.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed. He makes his first kill and more points.

INT. DRUG LAB – NIGHT

Joaquin receives a message, allegedly from Rodrigo, and goes to where he tells him. It’s a set up. Joaquin is trapped, has no choice but to kill.

· Scene Arc: A meeting to a set up to a killing.

· Essence: Joaquin kills a man.

· Conflict: Joaquin is set up and backed into a corner.

· Subtext: Arturo accomplished what he set out to do.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin gets out safely. We fear for his life and his morals.

[CLAIRE RILEY]

Claire’s Scene Requirements!

MY VISION:

I have a fabulous career as a screenwriter working in both TV and film, and I have tremendous creative, financial, and personal success. I specialize in female driven projects, and I am the go-to-girl for writing lesbian stories.

WHAT I LEARNED: Just do it.

1. INT. HOSPITAL TREATMENT ROOM – NIGHT

A woman is being given shock treatments. She frees herself from restraints and kills the doctor. REVEAL: They are actors in a movie.

Scene Arc: Patient is being treated to patient murders doctor to this is a movie

Essence: A patient goes crazy and kills her doctor, then we learn it is a movie

Conflict: patient/doctor – the patient does not want the treatment

Subtext: what is going on with the treatment?

Hope/fear: we hope the patient will be okay to she murders the doctor

2. INT. CAR (MOVING) – NIGHT

Maeve argues on the phone, says she will be there in five minutes. Maeve sees a woman break down on the road. She stops

3. EXT. DESERTED ROAD – NIGHT

Maeve sees that the woman has a flat. She takes off her jacket.

Scene Arc: being scolded by Sybil and promising to be there soon, to stopping to help.

Essence: Trouble in Maeve and Sybil’s marriage

Conflict: Sybil disapproves of Maeve’s behavior

Subtext: Maeve is not telling her something.

Hope/fear: We hope Maeve arrives soon, we fear she won’t when the accident occurs.

4. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Sybil, the director, tells a reporter that she is creating a docudrama investigating the murder of a psychiatrist by her patient in 1954.

SCENES WITH OTHER CHARACTERS TO INTRODUCE THEM AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS.

5. EXT. ROADSIDE – NIGHT

The woman tells Maeve not to go to the abandoned mental hospital, it’s haunted and there was a murder/suicide in 1980.

Scene Arc: From the woman thanking Maeve for her help to warning her of danger.

Essence: Warn Maeve of danger

Conflict: woman/Maeve, don’t go there

Subtext:

Hope/fear: feels good about helping the woman, feels fear about the warning

6. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

The reporter tells Sybil locals believe the hospital is haunted. Sybil laughs.

Scene Arc: from announcing her project to being warned of danger to laughter.

Essence: reporter warns Sybil of danger

Conflict: over the truth of the warning

Subtext: Sybil thinks she is above everything

Hope/fear: congratulations on project, warning, to laughing at warning.

7. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Maeve exits her car smiling. She suddenly stumbles back and it seems disoriented.

Scene Arc: from calm to attacked

Essence: Maeve feels something is wrong

Conflict: Maeve with dark energy on set

Subtext: something is wrong at the site

Hope/fear: She seems happy to arrive and then is seemingly attacked.

8. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Sybil and Maeve argue. Maeve feels dark energy and faints.

Scene Arc: Arguing to fainting

Essence: Something is attacking Maeve

Conflict: Sybil and Maeve

Subtext: What is attacking Maeve?

Hope/fear:

9. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/DIANE’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Maeve tells Diana and Zora she is a psychic and she senses a dark energy. They tell her to tell Sybil. She says she did, and Sybil ignored her.

Scene Arc: Looking for help to not getting help.

Essence: Maeve reveals what is going on inside her

Conflict: Tell Sybil there is a dark energy

Subtext: Trouble in Maeve and Sybil’s relationship

Hope/fear: She hopes they understand. They tell her to tell Sybil. Sybil rebuffed her.

10. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Strange things happen. Power out. No cell reception. No wifi. Animals act strange. Maeve is afraid.

Scene Arc: from normal to suddenly things are weird

Essence: Maeve is frightened by the weird things happening

Conflict: Humans and whatever force is present

Subtext: Something is going on here

Hope/fear:

11. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/DIANE’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Maeve almost faints. Zora encourages Maeve to tell Sybil they should leave.

Scene Arc: Maeve feels weak. Zora tells her to be strong and talk to Sybil.

Essence: Zora pushes Maeve to confront Sybil

Conflict: Zora and Maeve

Subtext: Maeve is afraid of Sybil

Hope/fear:

12. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Maeve tells Sybil there is a dark energy and they should all leave. Sybil scoffs.

Scene Arc: Maeve feels trepidation. Maeve feels humiliated

Essence: Sybil and Maeve have an unequal relationship

Conflict: Sybil and Maeve in a power struggle

Subtext: Sybil thinks she is superior to Maeve

Hope/fear: Hope Sybil listens, humiliation when Sybil scoffs

13. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/MAIN SET – NIGHT

Sybil humiliates Maeve by mockingly telling everyone Maeve thinks she is a psychic.

Scene Arc: Maeve is distressed over arguing with Sybil then humiliated by Sybil

Essence: Sybil publicly humiliates Maeve as a power move

Conflict: Sybil and Maeve

Subtext: Sybil is pulling a power move on Maeve

Hope/fear:

14. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/DIANA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Diana comforts Maeve. Audrey, a psychiatrist, acts like she cares about Maeve, but she talks to her as if she is a mental patient.

Scene Arc: from comfort to being treating like an insane person.

Essence: Audrey joins Sybil in belittling Maeve

Conflict: Maeve and Audrey

Subtext: Audrey is also belittling Maeve.

Hope/fear: Maeve gets support after Sybil’s humiliation, then Audrey attacks.

15. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Zora scolds Sybil for humiliating Maeve. Sybil says Maeve is jealous of her success.

Scene Arc: Sybil is scolded and responds by attacking

Essence: Sybil is confronted for her cruelty and blames is on Maeve.

Conflict: Zora and Sybil

Subtext: Sybil views Maeve as a problem

Hope/fear: Hope Zora will be able to reach Sybil, Sybil is a bitch

16. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Maeve leaves Diana’s trailer and Libby and Regina call her over to their trailer.

17. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/REGINA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Libby supports Maeve. Regina asks about the dark energy. They hear screams.

Scene Arc: from support to screams

Essence: Libby and Regina are on Maeve’s side in her conflict with Sybil

Conflict:

Subtext: Regina is afraid

Hope/fear: safety in finding support then another scream

18. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Zora laughs maniacally as she stabs her wife Diana. Maeve tries to stop her but fails. Zora collapses. Maeve rushes to Diana. She is dead. Maeve calls out for help.

Scene Arc: Zora stabbing Diana to Zora is unconscious and Diana is dead

Essence: Something horrible has happened

Conflict: Zora and Diana/Maeve

Subtext: No one helps Maeve

Hope/fear: When Zora faints, maybe Maeve can now help Diana, Diana is dead

19. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/REGINA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Libby hides. Regina watches from the window then tells Libby they must leave.

20. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Zora wakes. She sees Diana dead and remembers she killed her. She screams in agony.

Scene Arc: waking to realizing she killed her wife

Essence: Zora did not realize she killed Diana

Conflict: Zora’s internal conflict

Subtext: Why did Zora kill Diana?

Hope/fear: waking up from a nightmare. The nightmare is still happening.

21. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Sybil suggests Audrey help Zora since she is a doctor. Audrey refuses.

Scene Arc: Sybil asks Audrey for help; she refuses.

Essence: Audrey does not take her Hippocratic oath seriously

Conflict: Sybil and Audrey

Subtext: Audrey is not the nice person she wants you to think she is.

Hope/fear: help for Zora, no help for Zora

22. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Zora is bereft. Maeve comforts her. Regina, Libby and Alison join them. Regina wants to leave.

Scene Arc: Zora’s grief to there is danger to us all.

Essence: There is a deep sense of danger now

Conflict:

Subtext: Something caused Zora to kill Diana

Hope/fear: Hoping to comfort Zora, to let’s get the #$%&out of here

23. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Sybil sees Maeve addressing the group. She leaves the trailer. Audrey follows.

24. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Maeve thinks Zora was possessed. They should leave. Sybil says she is full of shit. Not leaving.

Scene Arc: Danger. Could get worse. Let’s leave to WE are not leaving.

Essence: Sybil sees Maeve’s analysis as an attack on herself.

Conflict: Maeve and Sybil.

Subtext: Sybil is trying to keep control of the group.

Hope/fear: They will leave/ they will not leave.

25. INT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL/DIANA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Sybil accuses Maeve of trying to sabotage her movie. Maeve begs her to leave. Audrey says no one is possessed. It’s a mental/emotional issue. Maeve leaves.

Scene Arc: from fighting off Sybil’s attacks, to Audrey attacking her as well

Essence: Maeve wants them to leave and Sybil and Audrey are united against that

Conflict: Sybil/Audrey and Maeve

Subtext: Sybil and Audrey are a united team

Hope/fear: Maeve begs her to leave, Audrey says she is crazy

26. EXT. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Maeve, Regina and Libby get into Maeve’s car.

27. INT. CAR – NIGHT

The drawbridge is up. They are stuck on the island. Maeve is hysterical. She tells them she was possessed as a child.

Scene Arc: hope of escaping to they are stuck

Essence: the realize they are stuck on the island

Conflict: the women and the force on the island

Subtext: What the hell is going on? All scared.

Hope/fear: hope of escaping to they are stuck

28. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Maeve, Regina and Libby exit the car. It’s quiet. Maeve goes to Zora’s trailer.

29. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/ZORA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Zora hangs. Maeve screams and cuts her down. Zora survives.

Scene Arc: Zora is hanged to Zora is alive

Essence: Zora is so distraught she tried to kill herself

Conflict: Zora’s internal conflict – Maeve not letting Zora die

Subtext: Something is still troubling Zora

Hope/fear: fear Zora is dead. Zora is alive.

30. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Alison says in 1980 a lesbian killed her lover and herself. Maeve says whatever possessed Zora possessed that woman in 1980. She suggests a séance. Sybil and Audrey dismiss her.

Scene Arc: Learning that this happened before then cutting down idea to solve mystery.

Essence: Maeve takes a step to lead the group and Sybil and Audrey dismiss her.

Conflict: Maeve vs. Sybil/Audrey

Subtext: Sybil and Audrey are acting like a team.

Hope/fear: hope with idea of a seance, fear with them staying.

31. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/ZORA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Maeve and Alison guard Zora who is sleeping. They hear screams. Maeve runs out.

Scene Arc: Zora is calm to another scream

Essence: Just when they think they are safe, another scream!

Conflict: Women and the ghost

Subtext: Maeve is increasingly taking the lead.

Hope/fear: We are safe. We are not safe.

32. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Regina is possessed and stabs Libby. Maeve intervenes but Regina stops her. Regina comes out of possession and is hysterical because she stabbed Libby. Maeve checks. Libby is dead.

Scene Arc: Regina gleefully stabs Libby to Regina is horrified that she murdered Libby

Essence: Another woman murders her wife and then is horrified

Conflict: Women and the ghost. Regina and Libby/Maeve

Subtext: Something is causing women to kill their wives

Hope/fear: Regina stabs Libby. Maeve tries to help. Regina stops her. Libby is dead.

33. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/REGINA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Maeve settles Regina down. Maeve wants to have a séance. Audrey says Maeve is delusional. Sybil agrees. Alison says Audrey and Sybil are having an affair. Audrey and Alison fight. Sybil leaves.

Scene Arc: from calming down Regina to learning her wife is having an affair

Essence: Reveal that Audrey and Sybil are having an affair.

Conflict: Maeve/Alison against Sybil/Audrey

Subtext: The reason Sybil and Audrey have seemed like a team is now clear

Hope/fear: hopefully things will calm down now, to learning of the affair

34. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Maeve confronts and breaks up with Sybil. Sybil is indignant. They hear screams.

Scene Arc: argument escalates to break up then more screams

Essence: things are deteriorating rapidly

Conflict: Maeve and Sybil

Subtext: Maeve has challenged Sybils power by initiating the breakup

Hope/fear: Hope that by breaking up with Sybil things will get better. More screams.

35. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Audrey is possessed and stabs Alison. Regina urges Maeve to exorcise the spirit from Audrey, but Maeve is frightened. Alison is dead.

Scene Arc: from stabbing to dead

Essence: yet a third woman murders her wife

Conflict: Ghost and the women

Subtext: Maeve is afraid and does not believe in her own power

Hope/fear: Audrey stabs Alison. Maybe Maeve can stop her. No she can’t.

36. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/REGINA’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Maeve has a séance and learns the truth. The psychiatrist tortured her patient as a treatment for being queer. The patient killed the doctor because she was tortured. The evil ghost of the doctor is possessing each woman and forcing her to kill her wife. Sybil is possessed and tries to kill Maeve.

Scene Arc: Finally understanding what is going on to Sybil is possessed.

Essence: the doctor’s ghost, not the murderer’s ghost, is possessing and murdering the women

Conflict: Women and the ghost

Subtext: Maeve is taking leadership now.

Hope/fear: Maybe we can stop the ghost to Sybil is possessed.

37. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Maeve escapes Sybil. She remembers her own exorcism. Love drove the spirit out of Maeve. She showers Sybil with loving energy and the ghost leaves Sybil. The power and WiFi come back.

Scene Arc: from escaping death to all clear

Essence: Maeve saves the day

Conflict: The ghost and Maeve

Subtext: Sybil mocked Maeve’s psychic power and Maeve used her power to save Sybil.

Hope/fear: Sybil will kill me, try love, the ghost leaves and all is well

38. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Sybil asks Maeve to forgive her. Maeve forgives her but does not want to get back together. The power goes out again. Maeve and Sybil exit trailer.

Scene Arc: It seems that all is well to the power is out again.

Essence: All is not well

Conflict: Sybil and Maeve – Women and ghost

Subtext: Tables are turned between Sybil and Maeve

Hope/fear: Maeve forgives Sybil, but does not want to get ack together

39. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Regina, Audrey, and Zora join Maeve and Sybil. Maeve screams. Her body jolts. The ghost is trying to possess her. She tries exorcising it from herself but fails. She asks the others to circle her with love and together they exorcise the ghost. The power comes back on.

Scene Arc: from Maeve is possessed to Maeve is free

Essence: Maeve has defeated the ghost and all is well

Conflict: women and the ghost

Subtext: working together they defeated the ghost.

Hope/fear: she is possessed, can she stop it, no, can the women stop it, yes

40. INT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL/SYBIL’S TRAILER – NIGHT

Sybil packs. Maeve thanks her for her help. She says she is sorry her documentary didn’t work out as she planned. Sybil says she got a much better story. They exit.

Scene Arc: Their relationship is tentative to they seem to have found a new equilibrium

Essence: Maeve has found a new equilibrium with Sybil

Conflict: none

Subtext: Maeve is not the frightened little wife she was at the start.

Hope/fear:

41. EXT. ABANDON MENTAL HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Zora, Regina, Audrey and Maeve pile into Maeve’s car. Sybil looks around and gives an evil grin. She is possessed. She gets in the car. They drive off.

Scene Arc: Leaving to get to safety. The monster is going with them.

Essence: They are not escaping. The evil ghost is leaving with them.

Conflict: Ghost and women

Subtext: Sybil is possessed.

Hope/fear: hope that they are finally safe. Fear that the ghost is going with them.

[Jane Turville]

Jane’s Intriguing Moments

MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.

By doing this assignment I learned to let go of trying to turn in a finished assignment. In a Hail Mary attempt to get peer comments on my outline, I can’t complete Assignment 9 and 10 with my entire outline. So I’m only doing Act One for each of these assignments. Letting go of reaching a goal is hard but I do need to keep caught up. Sigh.

Genre: Parody of Tea Cozy Murder Mystery

Title: NOT A CLUE!

ACT ONE

EXT. MOROCCAN MARKET – DAY

JUNE chases bad guys through the market and is about to catch them when …

Scene Arc: From chasing to capturing bad guys single handed, almost

Essence: June is a woman of action and a force to be reckoned with.

Conflict: June is fighting with some pretty scary dudes, and they are scared!

Subtext: June is powerful and courageous.

Hope/fear: That June doesn’t get hurt.

INT./EXT. TAXI

June’s taxi pulls to a stop at the entrance to SHADY ACRES REHABILITATION. June has trouble getting out of the taxi.

Scene Arc: June is unstoppable to June can’t function without help.

Essence: June’s self image is very different than reality.

Conflict: Conflict between what June wants to be and what she is.

Subtext: June doesn’t want to face her current reality.

Hope/fear: That June can accept herself just the way she is.

INT. SHADY ACRES – DAY

June signs in a meets ELOISE and ANNE. On the television is news of PERCIVAL solving another crime.

Scene Arc: June as a nice elderly lady to June as jealous and mean.

Essence: June does not like to be reminded of what she isn’t by someone who represents what she wants.

Conflict: June as a focus because she’s new to being ignored because Percival is on his way.

Subtext: Adoration of others makes June insecure.

Hope/fear: That June doesn’t drive away people by being mean.

INT. TEA ROOM – DAY

Percival arrives. He treats June with kindness reserved for the very young or very old. She notices that her room has been searched.

Scene Arc: From June focusing on Percival to focusing on things that are not quite right at Shady Acres.

Essence: Establishing that there is something for June to solve here.

Conflict: Between June and Percival, they do not like or respect each other.

Subtext: Percival is trying too hard to be liked and June connects with that.

Hope/fear: That Percival doesn’t squash June with his huge ego and need to be admired.

INT. SHADY ACRES – NIGHT

June sneaks out of her room to expertly throw darts in the resident’s pub. Percival removes as notepad and IPad hidden in the lining of his suitcase, consults the IPad and writes in the notepad.

Scene Arc: Both characters reveal a secret part of their character that is different from what we know.

Essence: To show each character has a deeper side and a lonely side.

Conflict: Who they are in public vs who they are in private.

Subtext: Loneliness.

Hope/fear: That their loneliness doesn’t define who they really are.

INT. SHADY ACRES – DAY

Resident COUNTESS VON VHAT reports a priceless necklace has been stolen. June discovers that Eloise took it. June challenges Percival to a contest to see who is the better detective.

Scene Arc: From learning of a missing necklace to all out detective war!

Essence: Set up the conflict between the two sleuths.

Conflict: Which detective is the greatest?

Subtext: Each character has their egos and their insecurities challenged. How will they react?

Hope/fear: That the challenge will leave both characters defeated. It’s not a friendly challenge.

INT. SHADY ACRES – DAY

June has a PT session with FRANCES who indicates everyone at Shady Acres has something to hide. June asks Frances to help her with the competition but Percival has already got her on his team.

Scene Arc: From focus on the competition to knowledge that something is amiss at Shady Acres.

Essence: A quick peek behind the Shady Acres curtain.

Conflict: The challenge between two people vs. something bigger and more sinister

Subtext: June and Percival may be the only ones that don’t have something to hide.

Hope/fear: Whatever is going on gets solved without anyone getting hurt.

INT. SHADY ACRES – DAY

June forms her team and her crime. Eloise will disappear and have to be found. June sets about setting up the crime.

Scene Arc: June planning to June actively setting the plan in motion.

Essence: Establish June’s ability to be active, despite her slow recovery.

Conflict: Someone who solves crimes vs. plotting the disappearance of a friend.

Subtext: June is smart and a bit devious.

Hope/fear: That June’s “crime” is one that Percival can’t solve.

INT. SHADY ACRES – DAY

Percival forms his team and sets out the plan for his crime.

Scene Arc: Percival goes from accepting help to going it alone.

Essence: Percival can’t work with others.

Conflict: Being part of a team vs. acting alone.

Subtext: Percival may actually need a team, but he can’t imagine that.

Hope/fear: That he doesn’t get himself into hot water.

INT. TEA ROOM – NIGHT

The contest begins. June and Percival both set plans into action.

Scene Arc: From plan to reality.

Essence: To set up each character’s way of thinking about crime and committing crimes.

Conflict: June vs. Percival

Subtext: This challenge seems so serious, but there is something evil looming in the background.

Hope/fear: That both detectives succeed. But then what?

INT. SHADY ACRES – DAY

Frances is found dead on the treadmill.

Scene Arc: From fake crimes to a real murder!

Essence: Something is not at all right at Shady Acres.

Conflict: Solving a puzzle to prove you’re the best vs. finding a killer.

Subtext: June and Percival’s egos blinded them to true evil.

Hope/fear: That either June or Percival or both will solve the crime.

[Kristin Donnan]

KRISTIN’S SCENE REQUIREMENTS

VISION: “I want the personal, professional, and financial freedom and joy that come from writing so well that I’m in demand, selling beyond my wildest dreams, and making worthy projects—on a big scale and with my active, collegial participation.”

CONCEPT: REX APPEAL / Comedy — The true story of a small-town paleontologist who sues the government after the feds seize his T. rex, the largest in the world.

WHAT I LEARNED in this assignment: I saw how my “beats” sometimes melded together into one scene, which gave it structure. However, I think I have too many scenes for this exercise… surely will be much longer than the assignment to share unless I change it.

ACT I: PETE IS TARGETED AND MAKES A DECISION THAT CHANGES HIS LIFE

EXT. BADLANDS CLIFF FACE – DAY

Pete and X are precariously balanced on the side of a cliff, chipping out a fossil—and both Pete and the rock nearly tumble a hundred feet down. X catches him.

Scene arc: Looking for a fossil, find one, don’t drop it.

Essence: Pete is willing to do almost anything for his passion; but he needs his team.

Conflict: Will X be able to save Pete?

Subtext: Pete takes risks.

Hope/fear: We hope he succeeds.

EXT. LANDOWNER’S HOUSE – DAY

Pete and X are riding in one raggedy pickup—with the fossil in the back—but they are now in a caravan of similar trucks. They stop at the landowner’s house and Pete negotiates a price.

Scene arc: Fossil is safe, the negotiation is made, and the guys are heading home. Success.

Essence: There’s a synergy between fossil collectors and landowners.

Conflict: Will they come to an agreement on price?

Subtext: Pete is the expert.

Hope/fear: We hope he succeeds.

EXT. LONELY PRAIRIE ROAD / SMALL GAS STATION – CARAVAN – DAY

Pete’s gang pull in to fuel up. Pete brushes off the question about a “warning” that they are being investigated. As they get organized, SLICK WILLY drives past, going back the way they just came from. No one notices him, but he sure sees them. When done fueling, the gang loads up the kids and drives off. They’re down the road before we see one last kid emerge from the bathroom…he sighs and sits down to wait.

Scene arc: Pete avoids unpleasant discussion, but we soon realize that the rumor is true. And…these rather oblivious adults don’t count their children.

Essence: He’s a goofball, and the warning has no meaning in his worldview.

Conflict: Someone is after him. It’s Slick Willy.

Subtext: Pete is in denial / likes to remain oblivious of anything that isn’t fun.

Hope/fear: We’re worried.

EXT. LONELY ROAD – DAY

Pete’s passenger (X?) notices in the rear-view that a vehicle behind them has pulled over. Pete expertly backs up and hops out to help… but gets DISTRACTED by rocks in the side cut… He hollers for a particular kid, who specializes in these rocks. Kid missing. Someone goes back to pick him up from gas station.

Scene arc: Team stays together, and inadvertently discovers that one of them is missing.

Essence: People are “in his head” in relation to fossils.

Conflict: He could be seen as ineffectual.

Subtext: Pete just ticks along until something happens; when he gets distracted, someone cleans up after him (picks up the kid).

Hope/fear: We worry about the kids.

EXT. LANDOWNER’S HOUSE – DAY

Slick Willy arrives at the landowner’s house…announces who he is and that he’s here to talk about Pete. Landowner is hesitant; South Dakotans keep to themselves.

Scene arc: Slick Willy arrives at his destination; we don’t know what the landowner might say, but he’s not welcoming.

Essence: Slick Willy definitely has a hidden agenda.

Conflict: He’s after Pete, and he might be in conflict with this landowner.

Subtext: Slick Willy thinks that his job is enough to intimidate anyone.

Hope/fear: We hope that the landowner remains distrustful.

EXT./INT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS – DAY

The caravan arrives back at headquarters, and tired people bail out. They carefully carry their treasures into the rather ramshackle building. We see JUNE, the best T. rex ever, still only partially prepared, in this very modest setting.

Scene arc: People arrive back home, settle their new treasures in place.

Essence: We see the way the company works, and especially how deeply everyone loves the place—and especially their favorite dinosaur, JUNE.

Conflict: Implied: is it all at risk?

Subtext: This innocent way of life might be over. Also, such an amazing life it is.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll be okay.

EXT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS / MAIN STREET – DAY

In a town celebration, maybe a third of the 900 residents are present, along with some press [including THE JOURNALIST] and one TV camera. Pete is natural in the spotlight as he dedicates June to be a permanent fixture in the museum—and announces that NASA is coming to pick up her skull to scan for scientific research purposes. Everyone claps—except a couple of shady suits in the back.

Scene arc: It’s a grand celebration, with important international announcements—until we see the suits.

Essence: This ragtag, small-town group are really “somebody.” Somebody in danger.

Conflict: Who are those suits?

Subtext: Did our naïve guys really do something wrong? What’s going on here?

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll be okay.

EXT./INT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS / ALLEY / PETE’S TRAILER – DAY

It’s first thing in the morning and the whole place is surrounded… Pete, whose trailer is next-door, doesn’t notice the FBI agents stringing DO NOT CROSS tape everywhere. One of his staff interrupts him, and says that June is being seized! Chaos ensues! Pete calls his lawyer, Bronc, who arrives like a superhero. Everything stops.

Scene arc: Pete’s having a normal morning—until the worst news of his life is delivered. Bronc brings some hope.

Essence: It’s everyone’s nightmare.

Conflict: Pete’s not sure who his enemy really is, and why.

Subtext: No matter what he WANTS his life to be, this is happening.

Hope/fear: We want Bronc to save him.

EXT. PARKING LOT NEARBY – DAY

Slick Willy—wearing pancake makeup—holds a press conference. JOURNALIST is in attendance. It becomes obvious that this whole thing has been orchestrated. He makes claims that the fossil is “in danger” because Pete’s team sell fossils—and nixes June’s trip to NASA.

Scene arc: The chaos melds into an intentional act.

Essence: We feel that there’s an agenda here, but we don’t know what it is.

Conflict: Obviously, Slick Willy is picking a fight.

Subtext: Even so, Slick Willy is out of his element and too arrogant to realize how many mistakes he’s making.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll screw up royally.

INT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS – PREPARATION LABS – DAY

The FBI have arrived woefully unprepared to seize an entire T. rex. They and their minions are breaking things and screwing up—so Pete violates their demands and instructs his team to HELP them. He basically starts managing the seizure, as if it were a fossil dig. It’s now after school, and neighbors and school kids start asking if they can help.

Scene arc: Pete’s team is demoralized and angry—and then becomes galvanized to do the right thing.

Essence: They show their expertise, and their moral fiber.

Conflict: Both sides don’t trust the other.

Subtext: Slick Willy has been made a fool by not knowing what was required.

Hope/fear: We want the government to fail.

EXT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS – ALLEY – DAY

By the next day, the now-collaborating team (fossil guys and FBI) have done plenty, but there is more to do. Slick Willy returns, this time LEADING THE NATIONAL GUARD with huge trucks and forklifts. School children come out in droves to protest, which totally throws him off guard. Meanwhile, when THE JOURNALIST asks for comment, Bronc starts quoting the law—it’s illegal to use the National Guard against the citizenry.

Scene arc: The team has gotten into a rhythm with the FBI and their minions—and then Slick Willy ups the ante AGAIN. Bronc comes out swinging.

Essence: Slick Willy is going to fight dirty if necessary.

Conflict: He’s using his job title to break the law.

Subtext: He realizes he’s over his head and is just flinging wildly.

Hope/fear: We’re worried that the good guys will get squashed in the process.

INT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Pete is working near June’s skull. He stops and puts his hand on her nose, closes his eyes—and the noise around him recedes. He hears a voice, “you can do it.” His eyes pop open. He sees that a little girl has sneaked in through a side door, but her eyes are wide open, too. Peeking in behind her is THE JOURNALIST and a TV reporter, who calls out to Pete for a comment. Without thinking, he announces on TV that he’ll sue the government for the return of his property.

Scene arc: Pete is downtrodden, connects with June. Then, either she or the little girl says something that galvanizes him. Instinctively, he doubles down.

Essence: Something bigger than Pete is at work here.

Conflict: Who or what is driving him?

Subtext: He’s “got it in him,” even if it’s hard to be brave.

Hope/fear: We want Pete to win.

INT. NONDESCRIPT OFFICE HALLWAY – DAY

Slick Willy is peeking in the doorway of an office. We don’t see who he’s talking to, but he is urgently asking for help—from someone with authority.

Scene arc: Slick Willy asks for help.

Essence: He’s not working alone.

Conflict: We’re not sure who the players are.

Subtext: He’s afraid he’s made a mistake. Or two hundred.

Hope/fear: We hope he gets slammed.

ACT 2 — THE SHIT HITS THE FAN

MONTAGE: PETE GETS INTERVIEWED

Pete’s office has become a PR center, with staffers photocopying articles and fielding phone calls. Newspapers from around the world are stacked everywhere, with the story on the front page. Pete is pulled from interview to interview—although he keeps trying to get back to work—and keeps BLURTING OUT his truth. The public love the underdog.

Scene arc: The office has adapted to this weird situation, and Pete has his game face on.

Essence: Pete can do this.

Conflict: He will fight to the death.

Subtext: He can no longer avoid unpleasant topics just because he doesn’t like them.

Hope/fear: We are rooting for him.

INT. SLICK WILLY’S OFFICE – “WAR ROOM” – DAY

Slick Willy is working with staff, including his #2 attorney. Slick Willy at first tries to keep cool, but then admits he didn’t realize the scope of the material he’s confiscating, and how to manage it. Behind closed doors, he loses his shit and then confesses to #2 that he acted too rashly. #2 helps to steer and organize.

Scene arc: Calm Slick Willy becomes frantic, angry Slick Willy who needs #2 to steer.

Essence: Slick Willy is unprepared.

Conflict: He looks like an idiot in front of his staff.

Subtext: He’s screwing up his big opportunity.

Hope/fear: We hope he tanks it.

INT. BRONC’S OFFICE – “WAR ROOM” – DAY

Bronc, cool as a cucumber, directs his staff; files motions. He’s objecting to the use of the National Guard on legal grounds. He’s petitioning to stop the process for June’s safety and for science. He’s asking that she can go to NASA while under the protection of the US. He’s a ninja.

Scene arc: Bronc is tactical, targeted, in control. By the end of the scene, he’s done his list.

Essence: Bronc is taking charge.

Conflict: He’s battling a corrupt system that is making spiteful decisions.

Subtext: He wants to win; he wants to win, win, win.

Hope/fear: We hope he does.

INT. SLICK WILLY’S OFFICE – “WAR ROOM” – NIGHT

Slick Willy, exhausted, ORDERS his overwrought staff to hire MORE “EXPERTS”—land management agents, scientists, etc.

DISSOLVE TO:

Same office the next morning… when several of these people arrive to find Slick Willy asleep on a desk. In the ensuing meeting, he’s frantic. Instructs them to start spreading fake news that “independent fossil hunters are all treasure hunters.” They tell the prosecution team that they know Pete; he’s a little oblivious, but it’s unlikely he guilty of this level of corruption.

Scene arc: Slick Willy is deteriorating, getting more and more desperate.

Essence: He’s losing perspective.

Conflict: His conflict has become personal, even though he’s fighting shadows.

Subtext: He’s desperate for the gold at the end of this rainbow.

Hope/fear: We want him to lose.

INT. PETE’S TRAILER / EXT. ALLEY – DAY

That same morning, Pete is reading newspapers. He picks up the old rotary phone and dials his old pal, Charlie. She works at NBC in California. He asks, naïvely, if she knows Tom Brokaw. After all, they both work at NBC, and they’re both from South Dakota. She says she’ll come out and see if she can help. When he hangs up, he walks out to the alley where the National Guard truck is being loaded with June’s skull. He lays down in front of the truck; the JOURNALIST takes his picture.

Scene arc: Pete starts the day looking for reinforcements—and then does the only thing left he can do, a lonely expression of protest.

Essence: He will do whatever it takes.

Conflict: Will anything he does matter?

Subtext: He’s been told he’s not good enough; he needs to know he can make a difference.

Hope/fear: We hope he can avoid giving up.

EXT. PARKING LOT NEARBY – DAY

As Pete’s kids pull him out from in front of the huge truck tires, and June’s trucks begin to pull out, Slick Willy again speaks to the press, including JOURNALIST. Despite his #2 just saying he doesn’t think there’s a strong case, Slick Willy hints that a large investigation is underway—June is just the tip of the iceberg.

Scene arc: Pete is about to give up, and Slick Willy tries to kick him while he’s (literally) down.

Essence: Slick Willy is trying to get the upper hand.

Conflict: He’s still fighting.

Subtext: He has to use whatever tactics he can. Pete is popular, so SW has to be underhanded.

Hope/fear: We’re worried that he’ll suck the life out of Pete.

INT. DUSTY PREPARATION LAB – NIGHT

Bronc at a table covered with papers; Pete’s carefully supergluing together a 3D puzzle of bone fragments. Bronc “frames” the situation: Slick Willy is telling the public that he’s “saving artifacts from being auctioned to the highest bidder.” To successfully fight this claim, Bronc says Pete has to be squeaky clean. So he asks: Did you make the mistakes Slick Willy is suggesting?

Scene arc: They are comfortable together…until Bronc assesses the damage.

Essence: Assessing the damage.

Conflict: Will this cause Pete to be upset?

Subtext: Bronc will believe Pete and manage whatever, but Pete begins to doubt his own easy-going process.

Hope/fear: We hope he says no.

INT. INDIANA JONES-STYLE WAREHOUSE OF FOSSILS – DAY

Pete is climbing around on some shelves, digging through boxes. CHARLIE (journalist pal) arrives, straight from the airport. Without preamble, Pete draws her into his “self-investigation” process—and then finds proof that his colleague “used” him to break the law.

Scene arc: Pete is stressed, searching, and then pours his heart out

Essence: Looking for evidence of being good

Conflict: Afraid he will find damning evidence

Subtext: What if he hasn’t steered the ship well enough? What if they were in the wrong place?

Hope/fear: Hope not to find bad stuff; fear that he will.

EXT. COURTHOUSE – DAY

With great pomp and circumstance, Slick Willy unfurls a huge and cumbersome RICO case—doesn’t just file it; calls a press conference. JOURNALIST front and center. The filing is ridiculous in its scope and overreach, and SW admits to #2 that he just hopes something sticks.

Scene arc: Press waiting with anticipation, SW makes the announcement, confesses privately

Essence: He’s going for it, even if he knows it’s weak

Conflict: Poking the bear

Subtext: He’s desperate

Hope/fear: We hope he fails

EXT. FOSSIL SITE – DAY

Pete is “prospecting” when Bronc arrives with the news. Pete breaks down. Bronc puts it all in perspective: “A million fossils, 7 sites that have been questioned.” The two guys argue about whether to trust Charlie; Bronc warns against too much revelation. In camp that night, Pete [HAS A DREAM? HEARS A VOICE?] and discovers his inner hero.

Scene arc: Pete distracting himself, hears terrible news, lawyer helps with perspective, Pete turns a corner

Essence: Looking at reality and squaring shoulders

Conflict: He takes SW’s challenge

Subtext: He’s got what it takes

Hope/fear: We’re cheering for him

ACT 3 — PETE BECOMES AN INVESTIGATOR

INT. BRONC’S OFFICE – “WAR ROOM” – DAY

Pete and Bronc lay out a plan to investigate every count. Agree to send out teams, including Charlie.

Scene arc: Pete needs guidance, Bronc and he team up, make a plan

Essence: Taking control

Conflict: Everything is in jeopardy

Subtext: They can do it if they marshal their resources

Hope/fear; We’re cheering for them

INT. SLICK WILLY’S OFFICE – “WAR ROOM” – DAY

#2 helps Slick Willy send all his investigators and “experts” to confirm details about each site they’ve identified in the indictment. Without saying it outright, SW suggests that they stretch the truth if needed—because, he admits, Pete is better at his job than the academic experts.

Scene arc: SW is trepidatious, so #2 helps steer, they make a plan, SW knows it’s weak

Essence: Putting best foot forward, even if it’s a lie

Conflict: Risks backlash of team

Subtext: He’s desperate; and his team is out of shape and clumsy

Hope/fear: We hope he loses

EXT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS / ALLEY – DAY

Pete’s team assembles to set out to the various sites. Someone has to stay behind and look at historical documents…and Pete realizes that the “bad colleague” has friends here. He’s not sure who to trust—and climbs in a vehicle. Charlie is driving; lawyers in the back seat.

Scene arc: Pete unsure of self and others, knows his own strengths (field), makes a decision to move

Essence: Get on with it.

Conflict: Might have moles in the office?

Subtext: Imposter syndrome: maybe he doesn’t have what it takes to lead this industry. Plus… ethics!

Hope/fear: We are rooting for him

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

Judge severs the fossil June from the larger case, saying that its circumstances were different. Makes a specific ruling about the land, takes custody, and orders June to be auctioned! Pete’s co-defendants are afraid that this does not bode well; they split off and get their own lawyers—and Slick Willy thinks his ship has come in.

Scene arc: Judge changes the game, June gone forever, team breaks up & SW rejoices

Essence: It’s getting real

Conflict: We have a new player in the fight

Subtext: The judge holds all the cards

Hope/fear: We are afraid for Pete

INT. PETE’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Pete arrives home to find a medicine man in his house—who tells him it’s dangerous to disturb fossils, and that all his troubles are related to a “curse” of the ancient creatures. On the other hand, he says that June knows Pete is “her person.” [MAYBE the “magic” is revealed: that the “voice” is June’s.] Phone rings: Bronc asks for a meeting.

Scene arc: Dude appears from nowhere, talks about magic, this feels right to the scientist

Essence: Pete is not just a scientist; he’s in tune

Conflict: Maybe there is someone else on his side (or…against him?)

Subtext: He is truly meant for this job / calling / hero

Hope/fear: We have hope that he’ll be okay

EXT. JUNE’S STORAGE FACILITY – NIGHT

Pete visits June, asking for advice through the window. She tells him to stand strong for the team, and be willing to sacrifice himself—even though he knows he didn’t do anything wrong. Bronc pulls up, shaking his head (about the location)—and tells him his great idea about a plea bargain.

Scene arc: Pete goes from the medicine man to June, talks to her—then Bronc offers a way out

Essence: All three are connected

Conflict: They might be pulled apart

Subtext: He has to follow his gut

Hope/fear: We’re rooting for him.

INT. BRONC’S OFFICE – DAY

All co-defendants have gathered; Bronc says an amazing plea bargain has been accepted by Slick Willy. Everyone has to keep it to himself—any announcement will jeopardize it. It just has to be approved by the judge.

INT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Next morning, everyone is happy until…they see the plea bargain detailed in the newspaper—front page. Judge goes ballistic. Blames Pete for grandstanding and rejects it. No one has any idea who leaked! Charlie has no luck with the journalist.

Scene arc: From high to the lowest, and we don’t know who did it

Essence: That was the last chance

Conflict: Don’t know who tanked the deal

Subtext: Can’t trust anyone

Hope/fear: Afraid!

ACT 4 — THE SHOWDOWN (TRIAL)

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

We see the process in motion. During jury selection, Bronc lobbies for a cute blonde woman, saying that “she’ll love me.”

EXT. CITY – DAY

Charlie follows the “bad colleague,” who has returned for the trial. Charlie sees her meet and shake hands with Slick Willy. They go inside SW’s office. RIGHT BEHIND Charlie, the “cute juror” picks up the judge outside the courthouse, who puts his golf clubs in the trunk of her car. Charlie doesn’t see this.

Scene arc: Charlie seeing some of the machinations, but not all

Essence: They don’t know who is working against them

Conflict: Not sure who the players are

Subtext: Charlie is on Pete’s side

Hope/fear: We hope Charlie can help

Frankly not sure exactly how to manage the trial …

INT. COURTROOM

Slick Willy looks like an idiot on many occasions, because he is unprepared and has made mistakes.

DEEPER REVEAL: The colleague who broke the law is given immunity, but doesn’t say anything damning about Pete. Because there isn’t any. Big disappointment to Slick Willy.

Pete, by bringing everyone together (being a real leader) scores good points—although it also becomes obvious that occasionally someone on his team made a minor error. Nothing serious. He also makes it clear that as the boss, he was responsible.

Bronc becomes the star of the trial—strutting his stuff on cross examination and illustrating how the investigators look like doofuses. Bronc focuses on the “pretty lady” in the jury, knowing he can count on her falling for him.

The judge is obviously on the prosecution’s side, making crazy rulings and not letting in defense exhibits. Defense keeps score on his rulings.

EXT. COURTROOM – DAY

Despite Pete’s being convicted on a few minor charges, Bronc marches out of the courthouse with a cigar in his mouth—people cheer in the street, and Slick Willy is beside himself. Charlie, meanwhile, corners the jury and discovers that Bronc’s “favorite juror” (the judge’s golf partner) was the single “guilty” verdict on many counts. They would have acquitted on everything. Bronc tells the press that Pete should get probation with the insignificant convictions.

Scene arc: Pete is convicted, but Bronc makes it look like a win; Charlie finds out the truth of why

Essence: Pete mostly won—but also lost

Conflict: It wasn’t a fair fight

Subtext: Pete is vindicated, but his test isn’t over

Hope/fear: We hope for a light sentence

EXT./INT. SANDWICH SHOP – DAY

The “favorite juror” pops in to order lunch at the counter. Right across the street is the NEWSPAPER. The JOURNALIST crosses the street, and gets in line behind her. They order lunch and wait while it’s being prepared to go. He asks “what’s new,” and she whispers to him.

INT. DINOSAUR HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Next morning, the headline is that Slick Willy has been fired.

Scene arc: There’s a connection between the juror and journalist

Essence: She’s feeding him stories

Conflict: The system is flawed

Subtext: She leaked the plea bargain—which she obviously got from the judge

Hope/fear: Pete is screwed on sentencing

TITLE: ONE YEAR LATER

EXT./INT. FEDERAL PRISON – DAY

When Pete self-surrenders, the guy who checks him in says “you must have pissed somebody off.” He’s been sentenced for 2 years!

DISSOLVE TO:

Short time later: Pete’s business colleagues line up to visit him—and make deals to keep his business going. Meanwhile, he’s finding fossils in the prison yard.

Scene arc: Pete has been unfairly sentenced, he goes on with his work

Essence: He’s who he is always

Conflict: The judge can’t keep him down

Subtext: Maybe June is helping?

Hope/fear: We know he’ll be fine

[Gisele FRAZEUR]

Gisele Frazeur’s Scene Requirements

My vision: I am going to work diligently to become a brilliant, reliable screenwriter who is sought after, regularly produced, highly paid, and awarded. Artistic fulfillment and financial freedom will result from the achievement of this goal!

What I learned doing this assignment is: No scene is superfluous. If it is….it needs to be worked, honed, and tightened…….or be cut.

Title: On the Scent

Genre: Thriller

Act 1: Threats against Perfumer Darin August seemingly result in her pregnant sister’s murder.

INT. LIMO – NIGHT

Darin and Livie are being driven to the FiFi Awards. Darin receives threatening texts en-route there.

Essence: Darin is being menaced.

Conflict: It is spoiling her big night.

Subtext: Someone is trying to instill fear in Darin.

Hope/Fear: We don’t want it to spoil her big night.

EXT. LIMO – NIGHT

Darin and Livie, with the assistance of security guards, push their way through Darin’s angry protestors and into the awards hall.

Essence: Protestors are targeting Darin.

Conflict: Darin’s fear is escalating.

Subtext: Protestors are upset with Darin.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Darin and her pregnant sister make it safely into the ceremonial hall.

INT. LOBBY OF CEREMONIAL HALL – NIGHT

A guest at the reception chokes on an appetizer. Darin performs an emergency tracheotomy.

Essence: Darin is a bad ass under pressure.

Conflict: Will she save the life of the choking victim?

Subtext: There is danger everywhere.

Hope/Fear: We hope she saves the choking victim.

INT. CEREMONIAL HALL – NIGHT

Darin accepts her awards and gives a rousing speech.

Essence: Darin is at the pinnacle of her career as a perfumer.

Conflict: Will Darin make it safely through her acceptance and speech without further incident?

Subtext: The threat is still present.

Hope/Fear: We hope she gets to enjoy what should be a joyous event, safely, with her beloved sister.

INT. LOBBY OF CEREMONIAL HALL – NIGHT

Police inform Darin that they believe she may have been the intended target of the human toe laced meatball in the choking incident. Arrange for her to come to the station for further questioning the following day.

Essence: Darin is in greater danger than we knew.

Conflict: Darin does not want her pregnant sister agitated.

Subtext: The person/people harassing Darin have a wide reach.

Hope/Fear: Darin can keep the Livie Calm.

EXT. CEREMONIAL HALL – NIGHT

Darin and Livie are accosted by angry protestors as they exit the awards and make their way to the awaiting limo. A pregnant Livie is knocked to the ground in the scuffle. One of Darin’s statues is damaged by the crowd.

Essence: The respite from the menacing has been short lived.

Conflict: We will get away unharmed?

Subtext: Danger is escalating.

Hope/Fear: We hope they make it to the safety of the limo unharmed.

EXT. DARIN’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Heading to the house upon exiting the limo – – Livie is shot and Darin is knocked unconscious.

Essence: The danger was real.

Conflict: The aggressors have struck.

Subtext: The danger they were in had heightened to life-or-death circumstances. Was Darin the target after all?

Hope/Fear: We hope the pregnant Livie and her baby won’t die.

INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Livie is pronounced dead at the hospital. Darin is questioned by police – – then informed of her sister’s death. Livie’s husband, Hank, arrives and is informed as well.

Essence: Livie has been murdered.

Conflict: Police deceive Darin initially – – do not inform her of Livie’s death – – in order to successfully question her before she succumbs to grief.

Subtext: Why was Livie killed?

Hope/Fear: Who will be next? Clearly, neither Darin nor Hank is safe.

Act 2: Darin vows to avenge her pregnant sister’s murder – – slowly falling off the rails.

INT. CHURCH LOBBY – EARLY AFTERNOON

Darin’s mother accuses Darin of being responsible for Livie’s death at the funeral. Darin slaps her.

Essence: Livie’s funeral will be rife with family drama.

Conflict: Darin’s mother is a monster.

Subtext: There is old, unsettled hostility and tension between Darin and her mother.

Hope/Fear: That Darin’s mom will come around and offer comfort to her living daughter.

INT. CHURCH – AFTERNOON

Leighton (Darin’s mom) eulogizes Livie. When she stumbles during her speech – – Darin rushes to support her. Leighton slaps her daughter in front of assembled mourners. Hanks escorts Darin from the funeral.

Essence: There is to be no truce between feuding mother and daughter at Livie’s funeral.

Conflict: Darin has been publicly humiliated at her sister’s funeral.

Subtext: There is unknown bad blood between Leighton and Darin.

Hope/Fear: Darin might be being pushed to the edge of a breakdown.

INT. DARIN’S DEN – EVENING

Hank plies Darin (a recovering alcoholic) with alcohol to calm her nerves and ease her stress. Darin and Hank reminisce over Livie. Fall asleep together on the couch.

Essence: Darin is falling down a rabbit hole.

Conflict: Darin is drinking. She can’t. She is in alcoholic.

Subtext: Why is Hank pushing booze on an alcoholic?

Hope/Fear: That this does not push Darin off of the wagon.

INT. DARIN’S LIVING ROOM – MORNING

Darin receives mail with a death threat and turns to alcohol for relief. Vows to avenge Livie’s murder. Hank forces a gun on her for her protection – – despite her protestations.

Essence: The threat to Darin’s safety continues.

Conflict: Darin is drinking – – and now has a gun.

Subtext: Why is Hank trusting an unstable, grieving alcoholic a gun?

Hope/Fear: That Darin will not harm herself with the gun.

INT. DARIN’S LIVING ROOM – – AFTERNOON

Police come to Darin’s house at her request. She lays out the reasons she believes Leff-T is responsible for Livie’s death. They promise to investigate the intel she has provided them.

Essence: Darin wants her sister’s murderer caught – – now.

Conflict: She is teetering on the edge.

Subtext: She feels responsible for Livie’s death.

Hope/Fear: We hope she does not harm herself.

EXT. LEFF-T’S MANSION – NIGHT

Darin shows up at Leff-T’s mansion drunk – – brandishing a gun. She shoots out his surveillance cameras and shoots at his home – – demanding he meet her face-to-face to enact justice.

Essence: Darin has taken to street justice.

Conflict: She is rabid with the need for revenge.

Subtext: Her own life means nothing to her any longer.

Hope/Fear: We hope she does not do anything foolish.

INT. SECURITY ROOM OF LEFF-T’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Leff-T’s security guard shows him the drunken Darin shooting on security cameras in front of his house. Leff-T says he will handle it. Summons his dogs and heads outside.

Essence: Darin and her prime suspect are going to meet head-on.

Conflict: Darin may have put herself in harm’s way.

Subtext: A cry for relief from the agony of grief.

Hope/Fear: We hope the suspected killer does not harm her.

EXT. LEFF-T’S MANSION – NIGHT

Darin has blacked-out on the sidewalk. Leff-T carries her into his home, puts her to bed, covers her up, and sits close by – – keeping watch over her.

Essence: Darin’s plan has backfired due to her excessive drinking.

Conflict: She has been taken by the prime suspect.

Subtext: Why is a killer being so kind to her?

Hope/Fear: We hope no harm comes to her.

INT. DARIN’S LIVING ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Darin awakens mysteriously in her own home to find a note left by Leff-T telling her to walk her dog and spend time with her. He has left dog toys.

Essence: Darin has obviously and inexplicably been returned home safely by Leff-T.

Conflict: This does not fit with what she has decided about him being responsible for Livie’s death.

Subtext: She cannot lose her scapegoat.

Hope/Fear: That she is actually safe from Leff-T.

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

Darin gets dressed and made up so she can visit her boss. Pookie (retired scent dog) goes berserk when she sprays on her perfume. She cannot calm him down. She realizes he is trying to communicate something to her.

Essence: Pookie is agitated by Darin’s perfume and is trying to communicate something to her.

Conflict: Darin cannot understand what is mysteriously agitating the dog.

Subtext: Pookie knows something germane to the crises at hand.

Hope/Fear: That Pookie will successfully communicate the source of her agitation.

INT. HOUSE OF BONFIL OFFICE – AFTERNOON

An hungover Darin checks in with her boss and is put on temporary leave for the bad press she is generating. Her boss also threatens to turn over a big project she is working on to a colleague so a deadline can be successfully met. Her boss plays a recording for her wherein Leff-T is cleared as a suspect and gives a televised interview apologizing to Darin for the boycott and requesting his followers stand down.

Essence: Darin’s drinking is disrupting her life.

Conflict: Who killed Livie if not Leff-T?

Subtext: Darin thinks she is fooling her boss when she says she is sober.

Hope/Fear: That Darin gets it together before she loses her job. That the real killer is found.

EXT. ABONDONED PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Hank is tasked with extorting more scientific information from Darin by the drug traffickers blackmailing him. They threaten to expose him and kill her if he fails.

Essence: Hank is not a good cop. He is in bed with criminals.

Conflict: He does not want to be exposed. He wants to keep his badge.

Subtext: Nothing we know of Hank up to this point can be true.

Hope/Fear: That Darin is now in danger because of her brother-in-law.

INT. HANK’S MAN CAVE – NIGHT

Hank seduces Darin after plying her with alcohol / successfully extorts another scientific idea to make his sniffer dog fail. Darin, mortified for having slept with her dead sister’s husband – – flees the scene – – even more grief stricken.

Essence: Hank is manipulating Darin with drinking and comfort.

Conflict: Darin’s drinking makes it hard to get what he needs.

Subtext: Hank is bad news.

Hope/Fear: That Darin will realize she is being manipulated by Hank.

EXT. DOG PARK – DAY

Darin’s AA sponsee, Dharma, reaches out to Darin about her drinking. Dharma works with dogs and points out Pookie’s odd behavior – – as he violently attacks wild violets growing on the grounds. Dharma knows dogs – – works search and rescue – -volunteers to help with Pookie.

Essence: Everyone sees Darin’s life is falling apart at the seams.

Conflict: Darin does not want to stop drinking.

Subtext: Help is on the way.

Hope/Fear: That Darin accepts help and recovers from her relapse.

INT. BATHROOM – MORNING

Darin has a pregnancy scare – – tests negative. Disgusted with herself for having slept with her dead sister’s husband, she vows to stop drinking and stay away from Hank.

Essence: Darin can see she is headed down a dangerous and destructive path.

Conflict: She can not undo what she has done – -only forgive herself for it.

Subtext: She has been violated by someone she trusted.

Hope/Fear: That she can get back on the right path.

INT. CHURCH ANNEX – NIGHT

Darin attends an AA meeting. Leff-T is in attendance. They speak afterwards. He informs her that word on ths street is that Hank is a dirty cop in bed with some drug traffickers.

Essence: That Leff-T is good, and Hank is bad comes clearly into focus for Darin.

Conflict: Hank can no longer be trusted.

Subtext: Everything she knew to be true is a lie.

Hope/Fear: That the danger she is in is closer to home. Might Hank have been involved in Livie’s death?

INT. SUBWAY STATION – MORNING

Hank works another case wherein drugs are successfully smuggled as his new sniffer dogs fails to scent.

Essence: The traffickers own Hank.

Conflict: He can’t ever get out from under their control.

Subtext: He will do anything, harm anyone to save his own ass.

Hope/Fear: That this comes in for a landing with Darin.

EXT. DHARMA’S HOUSE – MORNING

Fully back on the wagon, Darin enlists Dharma’s help to make sense of what Pookie has been trying to communicate. They run scent exercises on Pookie.

Essence: Darin is back in the saddle.

Conflict: They don’t know what they are looking for.

Subtext: There is an answer to the mystery, if only they can find it.

Hope/Fear: That having an ally and a purpose keeps Darin strong, focused, and sober.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Hank meets with blackmailers and is told to throw Darin and Dharma off the scent, or they will kill them and expose him.

Essence: The world is closing in on Hank.

Conflict: He is a loose cannon.

Subtext: He and Darin are under constant watch.

Hope/Fear: That he gets caught without harm coming to Dharma or Darin.

INT. CLUB – NIGHT

Dharma is passes out after ordering and consuming a “virgin” cocktail.

Essence: Someone is eliminating a facet of the problem.

Conflict: Makes no sense. Dharma did not drink alcohol.

Subtext: Enemies have wide reach – – strong network.

Hope/Fear: That Darin and Pookie are not next.

INT. INTENSIVE CARE ROOM – NIGHT

Darin, having been alerted to Dharma’s overdose, keeps vigil at her friend’s bedside – – vows to find and avenge whoever did this.

Essence: Darin is alone, unsupported, and isolated again.

Conflict: Isolation.

Subtext: Nobody she loves is safe.

Hope/Fear: That she stays sober.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

She orders a drink. Conflicted – – she just stares at it. She calls Leff-T and asks if he will accompany her to a meeting.

INT. CHURCH ANNEX – MORNING

Post AA meeting Darin brings Leff-T up to speed. Says she knows Dharma would never use again. Asks him for help.

Essence: Darin is on the straight and narrow.

Conflict: She is an alcoholic under immense stress and grief.

Subtext. Her bond with Leff-T is strengthening.

Hope/Fear: That he might be able to use his considerable underworld ties to help her solve this.

INT. DARIN’S LAB – DAY

Darin has a breakthrough with Pookie and realizes it is the violet molecule that is agitating the dog. She remembers a conversation with Hank wherein she told him that molecule arrests the sense of smell – – and Hank asked if that would be true for a dog.

Essense: Darin has had a breakthrough in the case.

Conflict: It seems farfetched.

Subtext: The dog holds all the keys.

Hope/Fear: She will solve it.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Darin goes down for a nap, comforting Pookie. She dreams about how Hank sleeps in his socks. She awakens. Hatches a plan. Calls Hank and asks if they can meet at his place.

Essence: Pandora’s box has sprung open. Pieces of the puzzle are coming together.

Conflict: This is a dangerous game she is playing.

Subtext: She is stronger by the minute.

Hope/Fear: She beats Hank at his own game.

INT. HANK’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Darin arrives at Hank’s, pretending to have been drinking, seduces Hank, leaks false scientific info to him. Darin rummages through Hank’s things and finds a bloody sock – – realizing he might be missing a toe.

Essence: The tables have turned.

Conflict: She is in severe danger if Hank realizes he is being played.

Subtext: Is she really drinking or pretending?

Hope/Fear: That she gets out of there safely.

INT. LEFF-T’S MANSION – MORNING

Leff-T shows Darin body camera footage he obtained illegally – – of times Pookie failed to scent. Darin informs him of what she has figured out about the violets – – and how Hank extorted this info from her – – and how Hank is causing the dogs to fail. They agree to go to the cops. Dari says she has to go home and let Pookie out first. She will meet him at the cop shop.

Essence: The mystery has been solved.

Conflict: Time is of the essence. Only a matter of time till Hank figures it out.

Subtext: Leff-T and Darin trust each other now.

Hope/Fear: Nobody tips Hank off before they get to the police.

INT. AIRPORT – DAY

Hanks’ sniffer dog successfully alerts to drugs being smuggled. Hank flees the scene.

Essence: The gig is up.

Conflict: Drug traffickers will be coming for Hank.

Subtext: He has to act as if this is great around fellow officers.

Hope/Fear: That he is caught before he goes undercover.

INT. HANK’S BATHROOM – LATE AFTERNOON

Hank goes home to pack. Takes a swig of whiskey bottle Darin left behind. Realizes it is not alcohol. Finds his bloody sock on top of the hamper instead of in it. Puts two and two together. Leaves with his suitcase and his gun.

Essence: Hank realizes Darin played him.

Conflict: People will be coming to kill him.

Subtext: The roles have been reversed.

Hope/Fear: That he is not gunning for Darin.

EXT. DARIN’S BACK YARD – NIGHT

Hanks ambushes Darin when she takes Pookie out to pee. Leff-T is there – – tied up. Darin confronts Hank with what he knows. He admits to everything. There is a showdown and a shootout. Darin shoots Hank. Pookie is wounded.

Essence: The final showdown.

Conflict: Darin wants to save Leff-T and Pookie.

Subtext: The hunter is now the hunted.

Hope/Fear: That Pookie will be ok.

EXT. LEFF-T’S BACK YARD – DAY

A bandaged and coned Pookie plays with Leff-T’s dogs (Capulet and Montague) while Darin and Leff-T look joyously on.

Essence: Pookie is ok. Darin and Leff-T are closer.

Conflict: Pookie’s recovery.

Subtext: Romance?

Hope/Fear: That these two can aid in one another’s ongoing healing.

INT. LEFF-T’S LIVING ROOM – – NIGHT

Leff-T, his and Darin’s baby daughter, Livie, and Pookie watch the FiFi awards on TV. Darin accepts the award she received for the dog perfume she made for Livie – – and dedicates it to Leff-T and Pookie.

Essence: Darin is healing and moving happily and healthily forward with her life.

Conflict: Whose baby – – Hank’s or Leff-t’s?

Subtext: Livie’s death brought them together.

Hope/Fear: Continued joy, healing, and happiness for all!

[Teresa Rodriguez]

Teresa Rodriguez’s Scene Requirements

MY VISION: I will become a highly respected, sought-after, and influential writer/producer with a successful production company that I can leave as a blessing to my children and many generations to come.

TITLE: “LILY WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS”

GENRE: Dramedy/Fantasy

THEME: Self-acceptance

What I learned doing this assignment is it makes for a stronger script to have every scene requirement in every scene.

ACT ONE:

INT. CASTLE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: The Mirror confirms the Queen as the “fairest of them all”; she kills herself.

• Essence: The Mirror tells Queen she’s starting to lose her “fairest of them all” title to her daughter; Queen kills herself.

• Conflict: Stepfather tries to make Queen feel bad about herself.

• Subtext: Stepfather is trying to steal the throne.

• Hope/fear: We hope she sees the Stepfather’s schemes. We fear she’s dead.

Scene Arc: Lily sneaks into the palace and then escapes it.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily starts in the woods playing, then sneaks into the palace.

• Essence: Lily plays with her animal friends. They throw her a birthday party and give her a gift that reminds her of how her Mom taught her to be strong.

• Conflict: She can’t let Stepfather see her looking imperfect.

• Subtext: Lily is not the perfect princess that her Stepfather expects her to be.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily gets in undetected. We fear she’ll get caught.

INT. CASTLE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily sneaks past guards and paparazzi setting up for the party.

• Essence: Lily sneaks around the castle undetected.

• Conflict: If Lily gets caught, she’ll be in big trouble.

• Subtext: Lily fears her Stepfather.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily gets in undetected. We fear she’ll get caught.

INT. LILY’S ROOM – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily enters looking homeless, and maids transform her into a perfect fairytale princess.

• Essence: Maids and fairies turn Lily into what a perfect princess should look like.

• Conflict: Lily’s Stepfather requires her to be perfect, but she’s not.

• Subtext: Lily has low self-esteem and doesn’t fit into her role as a perfect princess.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily will like how she looks. We fear she’ll embarrass herself at the ball.

EXT. CASTLE – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Party guests arrive at the castle, but guards throw the imperfect ones out, some into the raging river.

• Essence: Only perfect people are allowed to enter the party.

• Conflict: The Evil Stepfather hates imperfect people and never wants to see them.

• Subtext: Evil Stepfather is imperfect but wants to be one of the perfect people.

• Hope/fear: We hope everyone gets into the party. We fear people will be killed getting thrown into the river.

INT. PALACE BALLROOM – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily, picture perfect, ready to make her grand entrance, then runs away in shame.

• Essence: The Evil Stepfather sets Lily up to fail and prevents her prince from showing up.

• Conflict: Evil Stepfather embarrasses Lily in front of the entire kingdom.

• Subtext: Evil Stepfather is trying to crush Lily and take over the kingdom.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily meets her true love. We fear she’s heartbroken.

INT. BACK ROOM – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Evil Stepfather orders guards to kill Lily and starts his plan to harm the village youngsters.

• Essence: The Evil Stepfather starts his plan to take over the kingdom from Lily, but she overhears.

• Conflict: Evil Stepfather orders guards to kill Lily and starts his evil plan to harm village youngsters for their “youth essence.”

• Subtext: He wants to take the kingdom from Lily.

• Hope/fear: We fear for Lily’s life. We also fear for the village youngsters.

INT. LILY’S ROOM – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily hides in her room and fakes her death.

• Essence: Lily needs a plan to escape, so she fakes a suicide; Mirror tells her where to go. (mirror image can go from Queen’s room to Lily’s room)

• Conflict: Lily is torn between staying loyal to her kingdom or setting herself free.

• Subtext: Lily doesn’t feel loved, and she hates her life at the castle.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily’s plan works. We fear she’ll get killed.

INT. CASTLE – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily eludes guards; she escapes into the night.

• Essence: Lily escapes the castle to save her life.

• Conflict: If the guards catch her, they’ll kill her.

• Subtext: Lily is a threat to the Stepfather.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily can escape. We fear she’ll get killed.

ACT TWO:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily is lost in the woods and ends up at the Dwarf’s home.

• Essence: Lily is homeless and looks for a place to stay.

• Conflict: She encounters scary characters in the woods. (These are “undesirables” who can only go out at night)

• Subtext: She’s relieved to be free but scared to be on her own.

• Hope/fear: We hope she will make it to safety. We fear she’ll be killed in the woods.

INT. DWARF’S HOME – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily makes herself at home as Snow White did, but the Dwarves kick her out.

• Essence: The Dwarves don’t want anything to do with Lily, nor will they help her fight her Stepfather.

• Conflict: The Dwarves hate the royal family, unlike in Snow White’s day.

• Subtext: The Evil Stepfather hates the Dwarves because they aren’t perfect.

• Hope/fear: We hope the Dwarves will let Lily stay. We fear that Lily will be homeless.

EXT. DWARF’S FARM – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily is homeless and afraid; she sneaks into the Dwarf’s barn to sleep.

• Essence: Lily finds a place to sleep in the barn and finds comfort with animals.

• Conflict: Lily has nowhere to go, can’t let Dwarves find her.

• Subtext: Lily loves animals because they don’t care that she’s not perfect.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily will find a place to stay. We fear she’ll always be homeless.

INT. DWARF’S BARN – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily enters the barn and changes her identity/looks.

• Essence: Lily gets a new identity.

• Conflict: She doesn’t like herself, and people don’t like her heritage.

• Subtext: Lily doesn’t like herself.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily will find a place to sleep. We fear the Dwarves will find her and kick her out.

EXT. VILLAGE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily wakes up in Dwarf’s barn and goes to the village.

• Essence: Lily starts her new life.

• Conflict: Villagers cannot know who she really is, and no one will help her. (her princess name is Lilian no one knows her by Lily)

• Subtext: She thinks people won’t like her because she’s not perfect.

• Hope/fear: We hope villagers will accept her. We fear villagers will reject her.

INT. STORE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily goes for food and hides from the police.

• Essence: Lily doesn’t know how the real world works.

• Conflict: Shop owner wants Lily arrested for stealing.

• Subtext: Lily is too naïve to live in the real world yet.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily gets food to survive. We fear she’ll get arrested.

EXT. VILLAGE STREETS – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily runs from the police and gets arrested.

• Essence: Lily runs from the police but gets arrested.

• Conflict: Police want to arrest her for stealing.

• Subtext: Lily lived a sheltered life and doesn’t know how the real world works.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily gets away. We fear she’ll get arrested.

ACT THREE

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily gets fingerprinted and thrown into a cell.

• Essence: Lily gets booked into jail for stealing, and no one believes her about her Stepfather’s plans (she can’t tell them how she knows).

• Conflict: Fairytale Police hate thieves ruining their perfect kingdom.

• Subtext: Everyone is expected to be perfect in fairytales, but no one is.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily gets out of jail. We fear they will keep her in jail.

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily goes before a judge and ends up in a homeless shelter.

• Essence: The Judge follows Stepfather’s rules for getting rid of imperfect people and won’t listen to Lily about Stepfather’s plans either.

• Conflict: Judge is angry at Lily for stealing in their perfect village.

• Subtext: Everyone follows the Stepfather’s rules for a perfect village.

• Hope/fear: We hope the judge will be kind to Lily. We fear he’ll keep her in jail.

INT. HOMELESS SHELTER – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily arrives at the shelter; gets roommates.

• Essence: Lily meets other “undesirables”, imperfect people.

• Conflict: Lily’s roommates think she’s crazy for talking to mirrors.

• Subtext: No one is perfect; we shouldn’t judge each other.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily will make friends. We fear she will be recognized and rejected again.

INT. SHELTER KITCHEN – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily starts a job in the shelter kitchen, and she meets a guy.

• Essence: This is Lily and Prince’s “cute meet”.

• Conflict: Lily turns and almost stabs him; he disarms her with Krav Maga skills.

• Subtext: Lily is too insecure to connect with him; she doesn’t like herself.

• Hope/fear: We hope this will be Lily’s new friend. We fear he’ll recognize her and reject her too.

EXT. DWARF’S FARM – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily does community service at Dwarf’s farm, and she wins them over.

• Essence: The Dwarfs are impressed that Lily communicates with animals but don’t realize she’s the princess.

• Conflict: The Dwarfs don’t like strangers.

• Subtext: The Dwarfs are suspicious of Lily.

• Hope/fear: We hope the Dwarfs will like Lily. We fear they will discover her identity and tell the authorities.

INT. CASTLE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Evil Stepfather is angry Lily is still alive; bakes an apple tart to kill her.

• Essence: The Evil Stepfather plans to kill Lily with a poison apple tart.

• Conflict: Evil Stepfather wants to kill Lily, so she won’t return and take the throne.

• Subtext: His Great-great Grandmother was the Evil Queen who poisoned Snow White.

• Hope/fear: We hope his recipe won’t work. We fear he’ll kill Lily.

INT. DWARF’S BARN – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily is alone helping animals; attacked by Stepfather.

• Essence: Evil Stepfather, disguised as a poor baker, tries to kill Lily with an apple tart.

• Conflict: Evil Stepfather wants to kill Lily.

• Subtext: The Evil Stepfather fears Lily will try to take the throne back.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily realizes the danger. We fear she’ll die.

EXT. DWARF’S BARN – DAY

• Scene Arc: Dwarf’s chase Baker/Evil Stepfather away, try to save Lily.

• Essence: The Dwarves try to save Lily.

• Conflict: Lily feels bad that she’s lying to them about her identity.

• Subtext: Lily feels loved for the first since her mom died.

• Hope/fear: We fear Lily is dead. We fear they will hate her if they find out who she really is.

INT. CASTLE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Evil Stepfather celebrates killing Lily and begins planning to steal “youth essence” from village youngsters.

• Essence: Evil Stepfather thinks Lily is dead and plans a party to steal “youth essence”.

• Conflict: He plans to harm dozens of youngsters.

• Subtext: Stepfather has low self-esteem and wants to stay young looking.

• Hope/fear: We hope someone will stop him. We fear his evil plan will succeed.

INT. HOMELESS SHELTER – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily tells Prince about the attack; Prince teaches her self-defense.

• Essence: Lily and Prince connect; he teaches her Krav Maga skills.

• Conflict: Lily is lying to Prince about who she is; he hates liars.

• Subtext: Lily doesn’t think anyone could love her or that she’s strong enough.

• Hope/fear: We hope they fall in love. We fear Prince will hate her for lying.

EXT. HOMELESS SHELTER – DAY.

• Scene Arc: Lily’s animal friend tells her of her Stepfather’s party to steal “youth essence” from village youngsters.

• Essence: Lily asks Prince to help her stop The King/Stepfather.

• Conflict: They must stop the Evil Stepfather.

• Subtext: Lily and Prince are beginning to like each other.

• Hope/fear: We hope they can stop the Stepfather and fall in love. We fear they will get hurt.

EXT. DWARF’S FARM – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily and Prince go to Dwarf’s farm for help, and devise a plan to stop the Evil Stepfather.

• Essence: They devise a Plan: Lily will get them into the castle, and Prince and Dwarfs will pretend to be the band for the party. (Lily sends an animal with a note to the castle telling her trusted maid to put them on the list as the band.)

• Conflict: They must stop the Evil Stepfather, or the youngsters could die.

• Subtext: Lily is learning to trust people and accept their help and love for her.

• Hope/fear: We hope their plan will work. We fear someone will die.

INT. DWARF’S HOUSE – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily, Prince, and Dwarfs work on a plan and prepare to invade the castle.

• Essence: Prince and the Dwarfs practice songs together.

• Conflict: They must stop the Evil Stepfather.

• Subtext: Everyone is scared they won’t get out of the castle alive.

• Hope/fear: We hope their plan works. We fear someone will die.

EXT. CASTLE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily, Prince, and Dwarves get into the castle but get captured.

• Essence: They save the youngsters, but Prince and the Dwarfs get captured. Lily escapes.

• Conflict: The Evil Stepfather tells everyone who Lily really is, Prince and the Dwarfs are mad she lied to them. Prince slips into a coma.

• Subtext: Lily’s fear is coming true; they hate her.

• Hope/fear: We hope they can save the day. We fear someone will get killed.

ACT FOUR

INT. CASTLE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Evil Stepfather puts out a reward for Lily’s capture, and she hides.

• Essence: Stepfather is determined to kill Lily and turns the kingdom against her.

• Conflict: Stepfather gives Lily a public dilemma; she can either save the Dwarfs or Prince. He’s trying to set the public against her.

• Subtext: Stepfather is trying to get everyone to hate Lily too and capture her.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily can stay safe. We fear someone will kill her.

INT. DWARF’S HOUSE – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily hides scared and gets ready to storm the castle.

• Essence: Lily gained confidence while fighting and escaping and devises a new plan to save her friends.

• Conflict: Lily must decide who to save The Dwarfs or Prince.

• Subtext: She loves them all; how could she possibly choose? She’s scared.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily can save them all. We fear they will all die.

INT. DWARF’S BARN – DAY

• Scene Arc: Lily plans to save her friends and heads to the castle.

• Essence: Lily trains animals and “undesirables” to help her save Prince and the Dwarfs.

• Conflict: She must save them, or the Evil Stepfather will kill them all.

• Subtext: Lily’s not sure she can save anyone, including herself. Must be strong like her Mom always told her to be.

• Hope/fear: We hope her plan works. We fear someone will die.

EXT. CASTLE – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily, animals, and “undesirables” storm the castle; they save the day.

• Essence: Lily’s plan works; they save the Dwarves and Prince.

• Conflict: Prince is still in a coma.

• Subtext: Lily doesn’t think she’s good enough to save Prince.

• Hope/fear: We hope everyone gets saved. We fear Lily can’t save Prince.

INT. CASTLE CELL – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily finds Prince and saves him with a kiss.

• Essence: Lily saves Prince, and his Mom shows up to explain they are engaged to each other. Prince encourages Lily to go fight her Stepfather.

• Conflict: Prince must forgive Lily for lying. They both lied about being royalty.

• Subtext: They both don’t like the confines of being a prince and princess.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily’s kiss saves Prince. We fear it won’t.

INT. CASTLE – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily finds her Stepfather, fights him, and wins.

• Essence: In the big battle to the death, Lily wins, but Stepfather’s injuries reveal that he’s really an “undesirable” too. He barters for his life by giving info that the Queen is still alive.

• Conflict: Only one can win. The Stepfather saves himself by telling Lily that her mother is alive and where to find her.

• Subtext: Lily is a new person, strong, brave, and confident.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily wins. We fear she’ll die.

INT. HIDDEN ROOM – NIGHT

• Scene Arc: Lily races through the castle, finds her mother, and saves her life.

• Essence: Lily saves her dying mother just in time.

• Conflict: Lily only has minutes to find and save her mother from dying.

• Subtext: Lily is afraid she’s not smart or brave enough to find her mother in time.

• Hope/fear: We hope Lily saves her mother. We fear she’ll be too late.

INT. CASTLE BALLROOM – DAY

• Scene Arc: The Queen is back in power, and Lily is named “fairest of them all.”

• Essence: The Mirror names Lily “fairest of them all” because inner beauty trumps outer beauty every time. But Lily’s newfound confidence makes her radiate, and she is a hero to all.

• Conflict: The Queen sentences the Evil Stepfather to do _______.

• Subtext: You’re only ugly if you’re mean to people. You are beautiful when you care for others and accept yourself.

• Hope/fear: We hope they will all live happily ever after.

[Peter Symons]

EXT – CEMETERY – DAY

Carlos cleans up after a funeral and says his final goodbye to his former MS 13 gangster, Hector.

Scene Arc: Carlos works for a funeral home and tragically buries his best friend Hector who was shot 14 times by the police.

Essence: Carlos is a survivor as he watches his gang die needlessly.

Conflict: Carlos is torn by the choices he’s made.

Subtext: Down deep Carlos misses his friends.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos won’t backslide/we fear he will.

EXT- CEMETERY – DAY

Carlos is confronted by Jude – his former leader and associates. They harass Carlos because he’s converted to Catholicism and is trying to go straight. Jude tries to entice him back by tempting Carlos with drugs (laced with fentanyl) and money.

Scene Arc: Carlos confronts his old gang and stands his ground.

Essence: Carlos is a bad ass but sticks to his guns.

Conflict: The conflict is between Jude and Carlos.

Subtext: Jude is trying to intimidate Carlos – he fails

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/we fear his family will be harmed.

INT – FUNERAL HOME GARAGE – DAY

Dani brings Carlos’s lunch and tells him that she is pregnant with their second child. Carlos worried about their finances.

Scene Arc: Carlos goes from hungry to a new papa.

Essence: Carlos is still nervous that he’ll be a good provider

Conflict: Carlos is conflicted about being a father a broke working stiff.

Subtext: His father left him as a young boy.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will be a good father/we fear he’ll be like his father.

INT – MORTUARY – DAY

Carlos watches as Father Diego, also the local undertaker preps a body. He offers Carlos an opportunity to train as a mortician’s assistant – maybe take over the business one day.

Scene Arc: Carlos watches the old priest work as an undertaker and ponders his future.

Essence: Father Diego believes in Carlos,

Conflict: Carlos doesn’t know if he’s cut out to be a mortician.

Subtext: Father Diego is trying to create a future for Carlos that he doesn’t know he needs.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will take the priest’s offer/we fear he’ll backslide.

INT – GARAGE – NIGHT

Carlos tinkers under the hood of the Meat Wagon – he’s depressed and takes the drugs given to him by Jude.

Scene Arc: Carlos goes from working with his hands to snorting drugs.

Essence: Dark night of the soul.

Conflict: Carlos is fighting his darker instincts.

Subtext: Carlos self-sabotages.

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos won’t OD/We see that he does

INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos trips and wakes up inside the old hearse. Santa Muerte’s voice emanates from the car and propositions him – his soul for her protection. He accepts the bargain.

Scene Arc: On a drug trip, Carlos makes a deal.

Essence: Deal with the devil.

Conflict: Carlos Catholic v. Santa Muerte

Subtext: Carlos is looking for an easy way out.

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos doesn’t give into temptation/He does

ACT II

INT – MORGUE – NIGHT

We see Father Diego performing a strange ritual on a body.

EXT – GARAGE – DAY

Carlos is brought back to consciousness by Father Diego who is pissed off at him for taking drugs. He shows the old priest the HOBO Coin.

Scene Arc: Carlos is brought back to the land of living, and he brings back with him an object of the dead.

Essence: Carlos has been to the other side.

Conflict: Reality v. hallucination

Subtext: Is Carlos nuts?

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be after the OD

INT – FUNERAL HOME – DAY

The priest gives him the history of the Meat Wagon.

EXT – GROCERY STORE – DAY

Jude and the boys watch as Dani packs groceries into her SUV while trying to juggle Alejandro.

EXT – CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The gang shows up to Carlos and Dani’s house and burn it down. In the chaos, a figure wielding a machete murders several gang members. Dani and the baby escapes. Carlos is MIA

Scene Arc: Jude follows through on his threat and attacks Carlos’s family at night – in the smoke, someone with a machete attacks them and eviscerates several gangsters, by the end, Dani and baby Alejandro escape the carnage.

Essence: Chaos

Conflict: Carlos v. the gang

Subtext: Survival of the fittest

ACT III

EXT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos wakes up disoriented in the hearse, but he’s driving. He hears from the demonic presence of Santa Muerte.

Scene Arc: Carlos wakes up driving the Meat Wagon and here’s from its owner.

Essence: Horror

Conflict: Carlos v. Santa Muerte

Subtext: Carlos is not in control

INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos tries to call Dani on his cell phone. Dani weeps profusely and asks him why won’t leave her alone, the signal is lost.

Scene Arc: Carlos contacts Dani and she reacts strangely to his call

Essence: Carlos is out of touch

Conflict: Carlos v himself

Subtext: Something major has changed and Carlos hasn’t clued in

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos and Dani are ok/We fear they are not

EXT. – FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is from Father Diego. They beat the old man.

Scene Arc: Jude is out for blood – they beat up the old priest for information

Essence: Jude is a thug

Conflict: Jude v. the man of God

Subtext: This is personal for Jude

Hope/Fear: We hope that Fr, Diego won’t tell where Carlos is/We fear he will

EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

We see the dead who have ridden in the Meat Wagon Standing like silent sentinels along the highway.

INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos tries to mash the brakes of the hearse, but they don’t work for him. Santa Muerte has assumed control.

EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT

Jude catches up with the Meat Wagon and sees no driver inside!

ACT IV

EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT

The Meat Wagon is now in pursuit of Jude – who sees a figure standing in the middle of the highway with a machete – he swerves to avoid it and rolls his souped-up Japanese import.

Scene Arc: The Meat Wagon pursues Jude – Jude ends up in the ditch

Essence: The hunter becomes the hunted

Conflict: Jude v something he can’t understand

Subtext: The Meat Wagon is an instrument of wrath

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be after the OD

EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT

Jude crawls out of the smoldering wreckage of his car – a figure offscreen decapitates him and places his head on the hood ornament of the hearse.

INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Meanwhile, Carlos hears movement in the coffin behind him and tries to get out of the hearse, but the doors are locked!

Scene Arc: Carlos hears movement in the back of hearse – he tries to escape but is trapped.

Essence: Your worst fears come to life

Conflict: Carlos v. The Meat Wagon

Subtext: There’s something supernatural at work

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will escape/ We fear he won’t

INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos tries the cops on his cell, no signal. Dani, no signal. Finally, he tries Father Diego. The old priest tells him it will all be over soon…

INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was HIS. His ghost watches as Father Diego, a necromancer, places a HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image into his mouth.

Scene Arc: We see through the eyes of a ghost – watching his own autopsy

Essence: Living death

Conflict: Carlos the ghost v. Carlos the corporeal

Subtext: Carlos is damned

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be saved/We fear he won’t be

INT. FUNERAL HOME _ NIGHT

The old priest then removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative. We pan around the morgue and notices hundreds of tattoos removed postmortem and mounted and framed like trophies on the walls.

INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

By now the truth has dawned on Carlos…he’s dead and Santa Muerte has collected his soul. He screams but his lips are sewn shut! He never survived the OD…

The priest has betrayed him…but who’s in the coffin?!?

INT. MORGUE – NIGHT

FB: When Father Diego cleans up after the procedure, he removes the rubber gloves and apron he wears and then changes his shirt. In a mirror, we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest!

Scene Arc: Father Diego finishes preparing Carlos for the ritual – we find out that he’s dead.

Essence: Father Diego tries to save Carlos from Santa Muerte

Conflict: Father Diego the Shepard v. the Satanist

Subtext: Did the old priest betray Carlos?

Hope/Fear: We hope priest is force for good/We fear he isn’t

INT. COFFIN – NIGHT

Carlos burns alive (well, dead) in the coffin – he screams but no one can hear him – the whole Meat Wagon goes up in flames at it speeds down the Highway to Hell!

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

At Carlos’s funeral his coffin is lowered into the ground. Father Diego gives a benediction and pours oil on the casket. The mourners drift away. We see the coffin move oh so slightly…

[Peter Symons]

Revised.

1.EXT – CEMETERY – DAY

Carlos cleans up after a funeral and says his final goodbye to his former MS 13 gangster, Hector.

Scene Arc: Carlos works for a funeral home and tragically buries his best friend, Hector.

Essence: Carlos is a survivor.

Conflict: Carlos is torn by the choices he’s made in his life.

Subtext: Down deep Carlos misses his friend.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos won’t backslide/we fear he will.

2.INT – HEARSE – DAY

Carlos talks to his wife Dani about how weird it is to bury his own friend.

3.EXT. HEARSE – DAY

A souped-up Japanese import watches Carlos from a distance and slowly starts to close the gap between the hearse and cemetery exit.

4.EXT- CEMETERY – DAY

Carlos is harassed by his former leader, Jude, who tempts Carlos with drugs and money.

Scene Arc: Carlos confronts his old gang and stands his ground.

Essence: Carlos is a bad ass.

Conflict: Between Jude and Carlos.

Subtext: Jude is trying to intimidate Carlos

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/we fear he won’t.

5.INT – FUNERAL HOME GARAGE – DAY

Dani tells Carlos that she is pregnant with their second child.

Scene Arc: Carlos goes from hungry man to a new papa.

Essence: Carlos nervous that he’ll be a good provider

Conflict: Carlos is conflicted about being a father.

Subtext: His father left him as a young boy.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will be a good father/we fear he’ll be like his father.

6.EXT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY

Carlos puffs on a cigarette and pondering the news and calls Jude.

7.INT – MORTUARY – DAY

Carlos watches as Father Diego prep a body for burial while being propositioned to take over the funeral business.

Scene Arc: Carlos watches the old priest work as an undertaker and ponders his future.

Essence: Father Diego believes in Carlos,

Conflict: Carlos doesn’t know if he’s cut out to be a mortician.

Subtext: Father Diego is trying to create a future for Carlos that he doesn’t know he needs.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will take the priest’s offer/we fear he’ll backslide into his old life.

8.EXT. CARLOS HOUSE – NIGHT

Carlos meets Jude to arrange a short-term loan – he also gets drugs.

9.INT – GARAGE – NIGHT

Carlos is depressed and takes the drugs given to him by Jude.

Scene Arc: Carlos goes from working with his hands to snorting drugs.

Essence: Dark night of the soul.

Conflict: Carlos is fighting his darker instincts.

Subtext: Carlos self-sabotages.

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos won’t OD/We fear that he will.

10.INT. – GARAGE – NIGHT

Carlos hears a voice whispering his name — he follows the voice out back of the garage. A vintage hearse in need of repair.

11.INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos dreams that he’s in the Meat Wagon and makes a deal with the Saint of Death.

Scene Arc: On a drug trip, Carlos makes a deal.

Essence: Deal with the devil.

Conflict: Carlos’s faith v. evil

Subtext: Carlos is looking for an easy way out.

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos doesn’t give into temptation/He we fear that he will.

ACT II

12.INT – MORGUE – NIGHT

Father Diego performing a strange ritual on a body.

13.EXT – GARAGE – DAY

Carlos is brought back to consciousness by Father Diego who and he shows the old priest the HOBO Coin he found in the hearse.

Scene Arc: Carlos is brought back to the land of living, and he brings back with him an object of the dead.

Essence: Carlos has been to the other side.

Conflict: Reality v. hallucination

Subtext: There’s something unnatural at play.

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t

14.INT – FUNERAL HOME – DAY

The priest gives him the history of the Meat Wagon.

15.EXT – GROCERY STORE – DAY

Jude and the boys watch as Dani packs groceries into her SUV while trying to juggle Alejandro.

17.EXT – CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The gang shows up to Carlos and Dani’s house and burn it down.

Scene Arc: Jude follows attacks Carlos’s family at night –Carlos wields a machete and eviscerates several gangsters

Essence: Chaos

Conflict: Carlos v. the gang

Subtext: Survival of the fittest

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will defend his family/Afraid he’ll die

ACT III

18.EXT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos wakes up driving the hearse and hears from a demonic presence.

Scene Arc: Carlos wakes up driving the Meat Wagon and hears from its owner.

Essence: Horror

Conflict: Carlos v. Santa Muerte

Subtext: Carlos is not in control

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will escape/We fear he won’t

19.INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos calls Dani who weeps profusely and asks him why won’t leave her alone.

Scene Arc: Carlos contacts Dani and she reacts strangely to his call

Essence: Carlos is out of touch

Conflict: Carlos v himself

Subtext: Something major has changed and Carlos hasn’t clued in

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos and Dani marriage are ok/We fear they are not

20.EXT. – FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is.

Scene Arc: Jude is out for blood

Essence: Jude is a thug

Conflict: Jude v. the man of God

Subtext: This is personal for Jude

Hope/Fear: We hope that Fr, Diego won’t tell where Carlos is/We fear he will

21.EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

We see the dead people on the side of the highway.

22.INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos tries wrestle control of the Meat Wagon from Santa Muerte

23.EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT

Jude catches up with the Meat Wagon and sees no driver inside!

ACT IV

24.EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT

The Meat Wagon is now in pursuit of Jude and the chase ends badly.

Scene Arc: The Meat Wagon pursues Jude – Jude ends up in the ditch

Essence: The hunter becomes the hunted

Conflict: Jude v something he can’t understand

Subtext: The Meat Wagon is protecting Carlos

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be

25.EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT

Jude is decapitated and his head is placed on the hood ornament of the hearse.

Scene Arc: The Meat Wagon pursues Jude – Jude ends up in the ditch

Essence: The hunter becomes the hunted

Conflict: Jude v something he can’t understand

Subtext: The Meat Wagon is protecting Carlos

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be

26. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos watches as the machete-wielding figure plants Jude’s head on the Meat Wagon’s hood ornament.

Scene Arc: Carlos watches as Jude is decapitated and his head is now the new hood ornament of the Meat Wagon.

Essence: Vengeance is a dish served cold.

Conflict: Carlos feels happy that Jude is dead

Subtext: Someone else is fighting for Carlos

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be

28. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos hears movement in the coffin behind him and he tries to escape.

Scene Arc: Carlos hears movement–but is trapped.

Essence: Your worst fears come to life

Conflict: Carlos v. The Meat Wagon

Subtext: There’s something supernatural at work

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will escape/ We fear he won’t

29. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos tries the cops on his cell, no signal. Dani, no signal. Finally, he tries Father Diego. The old priest tells him it will all be over soon…

30. INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was HIS.

Scene Arc: We see through the eyes of a ghost – watching his own autopsy

Essence: Living death

Conflict: Carlos the ghost v. Carlos the corporeal

Subtext: Carlos is damned

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be saved/We fear he won’t be

31. INT. FUNERAL HOME _ NIGHT

FB: The old priest then removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative and we see hundreds of tattoos mounted and framed like trophies on the walls.

Scene Arc: Dead Carlos’s tattoo is removed by the old priest to be mounted.

Essence: Defilement

Conflict: Carlos’s ghost is watching his body be defiled

Subtext: Is the old priest a serial killer?

Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos is hallucinating/ We fear he isn’t

32. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT

Carlos realizes he never recovered from the OD – he’s dead.

33.INT. MORGUE – NIGHT

FB: When Father Diego cleans up after the procedure, he changes his shirt, and we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest!

Scene Arc: Father Diego finishes preparing Carlos for the ritual – we find out that he’s dead, too.

Essence: Father Diego saves Carlos from Santa Muerte

Conflict: Father Diego the Shepard v. the Satanist

Subtext: Did the old priest betray Carlos?

Hope/Fear: We hope priest is force for good/We fear he isn’t

34.INT. COFFIN – NIGHT

Carlos is trapped in a coffin in the Meat Wagon and burns!

35. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

At Carlos’s funeral his coffin is lowered into the ground and Dani silently weeps.

36. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Father Diego gives a benediction and pours oil on the casket. The mourners drift away.

37. EXT. GRAVE – DAY

We see the coffin move oh so slightly…

38. EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT

A hand punches through the freshly dug soil. Carlos is back.

[Caroline Fritz]

Lesson 9: Scene Requirements

[WIM] Caroline’s Intriguing Moments

My Vision: I will perfect my process of writing great scripts and be recognized by the industry as good at what I do and have successful movies produced.

What I learned: I am still not good with subtext.

Act 1

INT. BALLROOM – EVENING

Callahan Terry is standing on the side of the room, watching the party goers.

Essence: Callahan is acting in capacity of his position as a British diplomat.

Conflict: There are a lot of shady characters here.

Subtext: Callahan is pretending to be just another pencil pusher

Hope/fear: We hope nothing happens but the tension is very thick.

INT. BALLROOM – EVENING

Callahan stops to talk to a female colleague while he watches the crowd. She flirts with him.

Essence: Callahan is acting in capacity of his position as a British diplomat.

Conflict: Callahan is watching the wait staff, one waiter in particular.

Subtext: Callahan is resistant to her charms

Hope/fear: We hope nothing happens but the tension is very thick.

INT. BALLROOM – EVENING

Suddenly, a waiter pulls a gun out from under a tray cover and begins shooting. Callahan jumps to disarm him, people run away, screaming

Essence: Callahan has turned into super spy

Conflict: Will the assassin succeed?

Subtext: The embassy staff has discovered his secret

Hope/fear: Will Callahan subdue the gunman?

EXT. OUTSIDE VENUE – NIGHT

Callahan chases the gunman outside past startled onlookers. He tackles the man and subdues him.

Essence: Callahan is a bad ass super spy

Conflict: Callahan’s “cover” had been blown

Subtext: He has a lot of secrets

Hope/fear: What will this mean for Callahan’s position?

INT. HEAD OF MI6’s OFFICE – DAY

Callahan’s boss tells him to go on vacation.

Essence: Callahan stepped out of his role to get the bad guy and he is in trouble for it.

Conflict: Callahan does not want to go on vacation during a critical moment in the fight against terrorism.

Subtext: The boss is afraid to say that he is worried about Callahan’s mental health

Hope/fear: Will Callahan lose it?

INT. CALLAHAN’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Callahan talks on his phone with someone about vacation.

Essence: Callahan is hesitant to leave his home.

Conflict: Callahan has to go or risk his job.

Subtext: Callahan is scared of something

Hope/fear: We want him to be happy

Act 2

INT. AARON’S HOUSE – DAY

Callahan knocks on his friend Aaron’s door in the U.S.

Essence: Callahan has American friends

Conflict: Who are these people?

Subtext: Callahan is reaching out to these people for a reason.

Hope/fear: We hope Callahan is happy.

EXT. AARON’S POOL – DAY

Aaron, Callahan and Gabrielle are hanging out at the pool.

Essence: The trio is close.

Conflict: They are talking about Callahan’s wife

Subtext: Something is being unsaid

Hope/fear: Where is Callahan’s wife?

EXT. AARON’S POOL – DAY
Gabrielle leaves to go to the store for something Aaron forgot

Essence: Gabrielle seems to have to wait on Aaron a lot

Conflict: Aaron seems a bit of a jerk

Subtext: There is a conflict here

Hope/fear: Are they going to have an argument?

INT. AARON’S KITCHEN – DAY

Aaron gets a ransom call; Gabrielle has been kidnapped!

Essence: Callahan has to turn into a super spy

Conflict: Gabrielle has been kidnapped!

Subtext: Aaron is acting evasive

Hope/fear: Will Gabrielle be ok?

INT. AARON’S CAR – DAY

Aaron and Callahan are at the ransom drop.

Essence: They must rescue Gabrielle!

Conflict: What if they can’t get her back?

Subtext: Callahan is hiding that he is a super spy.

Hope/fear: Something bad is going to happen

EXT. RANSOM DROP – DAY

Aaron drops the money while Callahan watches. Aaron is snatched up. A gunfight ensues.

Essence: Callahan is alone in a strange country and must rescue his friends.

Conflict: Aaron has been kidnapped too!

Subtext: Someone is forcing Callahan to act.

Hope/fear: We fear for Aaron and Gabrielle’s safety

INT. AARON’S CAR – DAY

Callahan sits shell shocked. Police sirens get closer. Callahan drives away.

Essence: Callahan does not want to get involved with the police.

Conflict: Callahan must figure out what to do

Subtext: Callahan is hiding who he is

Hope/fear: We don’t want him to get caught.

INT. AARON’S HOUSE – DAY

Callahan grabs his things from Callahan’s house and leaves in his rental car.

Essence: Callahan wants to figure this out himself

Conflict: He is not sure who he can trust

Subtext: Callahan has to hide who he is

Hope/fear: Can he save his friends?

INT. CALLAHAN’S CAR – DAY

Callahan calls his boss back in the UK

Essence: Callahan wants the ok to go after the kidnapper

Conflict: The boss wants him to go to the police and Aaron’s CIA boss

Subtext: The boss is trying to be diplomatic

Hope/fear: With the CIA involved, Aaron and Gabrielle might not make it

INT. CIA OFFICE – DAY

Callahan talks to the CIA section chief who recommends Callahan leave the country

Essence: Callahan has decided to do it his boss’s way

Conflict: The CIA doesn’t seem to care

Subtext: Callahan is lying about who he really is

Hope/fear: Will Callahan get deported?

INT. CALLAHAN’S HOTEL ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Callahan gets a call from an unknown number. It is the kidnapper luring him to his lair in Mexico

Essence: Callahan must go and rescue his friends

Conflict: Callahan does not have any weapons

Subtext: Callahan is being set up

Hope/fear: Callahan and the hostages will be killed

Act 3

INT. CALLAHAN’S HOTEL LOBBY– MORNING

Callahan is checking out and is confronted by two FBI agents.

Essence: Callahan is being threatened by the agents into leaving the U.S.

Conflict: Callahan is not going to do that and doesn’t tell them about the call

Subtext: Callahan lies and says he is leaving

Hope/fear: Callahan will be deported

INT. CALLAHAN’S RENTAL CAR – MORNING

Callahan can plainly see he is being followed. He drives to a coffee shop and goes in to make a call.

Essence: Callahan is calling his spy colleagues for info

Conflict: The FBI agents have entered the coffee shop

Subtext: Callahan is plotting

Hope/fear: Callahan will be deported

INT. CALLAHAN’S CAR – DAY

Callahan drives to the rental car place and drops his car off

Essence: Callahan is acting like he is going back to the UK.

Conflict: Callahan is being watched

Subtext: Callahan is being sneaky

Hope/fear: Callahan will be deported

‘

INT. PLANE – DAY

Callahan is on a plane.

Essence: He is seemingly going home

Conflict: Has he given up?

Subtext: Callahan is being polite to hide who he is

Hope/fear: Is he really going home?

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAY

Callahan alights from a plane on a runway. The sign says Mexico!

Essence: Callahan has outwitted the FBI

Conflict: What danger awaits him?

Subtext: Callahan is in complete secret spy mode mode

Hope/fear: Will Callahan save his friends?

EXT. OUTSIDE A COMPOUND – AFTERNOON

Callahan is camouflaged outside the kidnapper’s compound with binoculars. He sees Aaron talking to the arms dealer who killed Callahan’s wife!

Essence: Callahan has been lured to what might be his death

Conflict: Aaron is working for the bad guy!

Subtext: Aaron is treacherous

Hope/fear: Where is Gabrielle? Is she ok?

Act 4

EXT. OUTSIDE COMPOUND – AFTERNOON

Callahan is still in hiding as he observes the FBI agents stationing themselves around the perimeter.

Essence: Callahan was believed

Conflict: Callahan wants to get to Aaron first

Subtext: Callahan is deeply confused

Hope/fear: What will happen to Aaron?

EXT. COMPOUND – NIGHT

Callahan enters the compound and moves toward the main house, stealthily.

Essence: Callahan is going to get to Aaron first.

Conflict: He has to have it out with his so-called friend

Subtext: Callahan is in full spy mode

Hope/fear: Will Callahan get killed?

INT. MAIN HOUSE – NIGHT

Callahan stealthily searches the house, finding Aaron drinking bourbon in the study.

Essence: Callahan confronts this betrayal

Conflict: Why did Aaron do this?

Subtext: Aaron is hiding his true self

Hope/fear: What is going to happen?

INT. STUDY – NIGHT

Aaron tells Callahan the depths of his betrayal and he lured Callahan to get killed

Essence: Aaron sold out his friend

Conflict: Callahan is going to get killed

Subtext: Aaron has hidden who he is

Hope/fear: Callahan might get killed

INT. STUDY – NIGHT

The terrorist enters the study and a gunfight ensues. Callahan flees out the window

Essence: Callahan is going to get killed

Conflict: Aaron and the terrorist are trying to kill Callahan

Subtext: They know who Callahan is

Hope/fear: Will Callahan get away?

EXT. COMPOUND GROUNDS – NIGHT

Callahan is shooting at Aaron and the terrorist while the terrorist taunts him.

Essence: Callahan is trying to lure them out so the FBI can swoop in.

Conflict: Aaron is trying to kill his friend

Subtext: Callahan is a super spy

Hope/fear: Callahan might get killed

INT. OUT BUILDING – NIGHT

Callahan ducks into a out building on the property and lies in wait for Aaron and the terrorist.

Essence: Callahan is trying to surprise him

Conflict: Callahan is being hunted

Subtext: Aaron and the terrorist are walking into a trap

Hope/fear: Callahan might get killed

INT. OUT BUILDING – NIGHT

Callahan gets the jump on the terrorist, wounding him. Aaron has him in his sights

Essence: Callahan is fighting for his life

Conflict: Callahan is fighting for his life

Subtext: Callahan has been betrayed

Hope/fear: Callahan might get killed

INT. OUT BUILDING – NIGHT

Callahan shoots and wounds Aaron after a tense standoff as the FBI bursts in.

Essence: Callahan has defused the situation

Conflict: Aaron is a traitor

Subtext: Callahan is a professional who didn’t let his emotions get the better of him

Hope/fear: Where is Gabrielle?

EXT. COMPOUND DRIVEWAY – DAWN

Callahan is being interviewed by the FBI as Gabrielle, now released, rushes to him from the house

Essence: Aaron has betrayed them both

Conflict: How does one come back from that

Subtext: Callahan saved them both

Hope/fear: Will Gabrielle be OK?

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Jenifer’s Scene Requirements

Vision – I will write every day producing not only high volume, but high quality scripts that will ultimately be made into popular movies and television shows.

What I learned doing this assignment is that it was a tough one to get through, but I will write my script quickly using it!

Scene Arc: From Dacey resting to running down hall
INT. NURSES’ STATION – NIGHT
Dacey is at work, looking over Christina’s file. Articles
about children saved from cult where they endured ritual
abuse. Dacey closes file “rests her eyes”, start at an ear
bud and go into her brain as music travel through igniting
and fizzling out synapses, someone whispers in her ear “Wake
the fuck up” she jumps up and her co-worker Peter is behind
her. There is a scream and Dacey freezes, then she follows
Peter as he runs –
Essence: Dacey is at peace, a nurse at work
Conflict: Peter swearing at her?
Subtext: something is wrong in her brain –
Hope/fear: All will remain peaceful/someone is screaming
INT. PATIENT ROOM – NIGHT
Cora has cut herself. Dacey freezes, but then jumps into
action and handles it perfectly, although everyone else is
falling apart. Shyanne pretends she is sleeping, but she
orchestrated it.
In the background a patient lays in the bed, although there
is no focus on her.
Scene Arc: From Tom talking about discharge to having to be
removed from group as he is flipping out.
INT. GROUP SESSION ROOM – DAY
Patients gather, sit in circle. Dacey pushes patient into
room in a Rifton supine stander. Tom talks about being afraid
to leave. Shyanne instigates him until he is hysterical and
he has to be removed.
Essence: Tom is getting discharged (this is a mislead)
Conflict: Shyanne asks him what he is going to do when people
try to kill him
Subtext: Dacey is competent at her job, well respected
Hope/fear: Tom is okay/is he going to get killed?
2.
SCENE ARC: FROM TOM BEING CALM AND NOT IN TROUBLE TO GETTING
IN TROUBLE FOR BEING A PRANKSTER
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY
Tom is led from quiet room. Staff talks to him about
remaining calm, ignoring Cora. Walk past patient in stander.
Tom poses her, gets yelled at.
Essence: Tom is a prankster
Conflict: Tom is messing with a catatonic patient and staff
is unhappy with him
Subtext: This catatonic patient is actually very important
(this is Christina/Dacey)
Hope/fear: Tom will stay out of trouble/ Tom won’t get
discharged
SCENE ARC: NURSES TALK ABOUT BREAKFAST TO TOM BEING UP TO HIS
TRICKS
INT. NURSES’ STATION – CONTINUOUS – DAY
The nurse’s talk about their kids, someone says her husband
always cooks her breakfast. Nurse walking with Tom says keep
an eye on her (referring to patient in stander)Tom is up to
his tricks.
Essence: Nurses talk about husbands having breakfast done for
them when they get home. One nurse says hers doesn’t, but she
should tell him to!
Conflict: Tom is in trouble again
Subtext: Patient in stander is hearing all this
Hope/fear: Tom will stay out of trouble/ Tom won’t get
discharged.
EXT. DACEY’S HOUSE – DAY
Dacey pulls into driveway – nice car, nice house.
2.
3.
SCENE ARC: PERFECT HOMECOMING TO NOT SO PERFECT
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – FRONT HALL – DAY
Dacey goes into house – pause and absolute silence, then her
two younger children MEL (9) and JAMIE (7) rush in wearing
pajamas and clamber for hugs.
WARD, Dacey’s husband is at the stove – breakfast supplies
are on the counter. He turns around and has everything laid
out for Dacey to cook.
Essence: Dacey’s homecoming is spectacular!
Conflict: Ward expects her to cook breakfast after working
all night
Subtext: seems as though he is cooking, but he is putting
supplies out for her
Hope/fear:hope he is a nice guy/fear something is wrong with
marriage
Scene (sequence)arc: From Ward is great to maybe not so much –
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – FRONT HALL – NIGHT
Dacey comes home to quiet house, calls out to husband, kids,
turns lights on in kitchen, nothing, goes to living room,
people jump out and yell surprise – it is a surprise
anniversary party (Dacey thought he forgot it).
Ward flirts with DANA at the party, he also seems to be
drinking.
Dacey calls husband out on drinking, but he denies it. She
checks cups in the garbage can, seems to determine that he
was drinking.
Essence: Ward is great…wait, maybe he isn’t
Conflict: Dacey accuses him of drinking
Subtext: There is something very wrong here…
Hope/fear: Hope he is a nice guy/fear he isn’t/Dacey is
paranoid
3.
4.
Scene Arc:
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Ward tells her he is going on a trip and she says it always
falls apart, tells him look what happened last time and begs
him not to go.
He explains to her that he checked the smoke alarms, the
pilot on the furnace.
He makes her tea. In the middle of a sentence and his lips
don’t move with his words, Dacey’s ears buzz, she rubs them,
blinks hard and he is back to normal.
Essence: Foreshadow of the problem
Conflict: Dacey is upset with Ward for leaving on trip
Subtext: Is she upset because she thinks it’s an affair?
Hope/fear: Dacey is going to be okay/something terrible is
going to happen
Scene Arc: From Tom arriving to leaving in an uber.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – FRONT HALL – NIGHT
Tom comes to Dacey’s house in the middle of the night,
hysterical, afraid that someone is chasing him and trying to
kill him. Dacey freezes -indecisive about what to do and
freezes, he pushes past her and goes in the house, then she
jumps into action, explains that he can’t be there.
He says he’ll leave, can she just give him a glass of water –
washes glass and puts in dish strainer – they hear a noise
outside (audience sees shadow), wind chime then planter
falling over. Dacey calls an uber and sends him away.
Essence: Nothing good can come from this
Conflict: Tom wants to hide there, Dacey won’t let him
Subtext: Dacey is being set-up for something
Hope/fear: They are fear/someone outside will hurt them
4.
5.
SCENE (SEQUENCE) ARC: TOM IS GONE, ALL IS GOOD
EXT. DACEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Tom leaves in car. Stands on porch and waves, goes inside.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Dacey stands in doorway leading into other room, looks over
kitchen, shuts off light and leaves.
Essence: Dacey has thwarted what could have been a problem
Conflict:
Subtext: the cup
Hope/fear: It’s over/fear it was a set-up
Scene (sequence) arc: from Dacey waking in a panic to
deciding it was all a dream.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
In morning Dacey wakes up, suddenly, distressed, jumps out of
bed.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
She rushes to kitchen – cup is not there, in cabinet. Goes
outside – planter is not knocked over – daughter comes to
door and calls her and she just misses seeing dirt on ground
as planter was picked up. Freezes again but then jumps to
action and goes in house. Tells daughter she had a very
realistic dream about a patient coming to house.
Essence: It was all a dream! Relief!
Conflict: Her daughter is a little perturbed with her
Subtext: somebody was there, why does she “freeze”?
Hope/fear: it was all a dream/fear it really happened an it
is not over.
Scene Arc: From maybe Tom was there, but okay that’s not too
bad to he is dead and she might have been last to see him!
5.
6.
INT. NURSES’ STATION – DAY
Dacey goes to work and hears that Tom was found dead. He was
murdered some where else and his body was dumped in an alley,
brutally beaten with a blunt object. She is questioned about
knowing anything about it and denies it.
Essence: Tom is dead and Dacey is not admitting that he was
at house.
Conflict: Dacey is lying, boss who questions her can tell
something is wrong
Subtext: Dacey lies because she maybe she knows something??
Hope/fear: It was a dream/it wasn’t and Dacey is going to get
in trouble, had something to do with it
Scene Arc: Dacey is having problems to Ward coming home and
not being supportive
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Ward comes home from trip – cracks in his veneer – he is
irritated with Dacey because house is not clean, dinner is
not done. He does something sketchy around the container
where Dacey keeps tea bags. Puts on tea kettle for her.
Essence: Ward is not such a great guy…
Conflict: Ward is angry that house isn’t clean, dinner isn’t
waiting for him
Subtext: Dacey is distressed and it seems as though it is
extreme for situation/she knows something
Hope/fear: Dacey is going to be okay/fear something else is
going on with what she knows about Tom
Scene Arc: from Dacey being somewhat distressed to having a
serious reason to be!
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Dacey sees that a rug is out of place in the living room. She
moves it and finds blood underneath (audience superior
position as she is pulling backwards and doesn’t see blood
trail at first). Dacey cleans the blood. Has flash of bat and
blood flying. Goes to kitchen and takes glass Tom used out of
cabinet, looks it over, throws it away.
Essence: There is blood in her house
6.
7.
Conflict: Someone was murdered in her house and she saw it
Subtext: Dacey doesn’t remember consciously, why?
Hope/fear: hope it’s not real/fear it is (also hope is it
real/ fear it’s not – because what does it being not real
mean for Dacey?)
Scene arc: From Dacey clean blood to Ward not seeing it,
ignoring it.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BATHROOM – NIGHT
Dacey cleans blood from her hands, bloody pile of clothes on
the floor. Ward comes in, ignores blood, questions why she is
scrubbing hands like that. Dacey is confused.
SCENE ARC: FROM THINKING MAYBE IT WAS A DELUSION TO NOW WE
KNOW IT IS!
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Dacey goes into living room and blood is back – she cleans it
up again. Ward comes in a chastises her for not getting kids
ready for school. He does it himself. Makes her tea and has
her stop to drink it. Blood reappears before her eyes.
Essence: Dacey is crazy
Conflict: Ward is mad that kids aren’t being taken care of
Subtext: This is not the first time something like this has
happened
Hope/fear: Dacey is okay/fear she is very crazy
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY SEEMING OKAY TO HAVING MULTIPLE
DELUSIONS AND RUNNING FROM HOUSE
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Dacey gets ready for work, a shadow passes behind her that
she doesn’t see. Then she sees it, it is Tom, dead, bloody
and beaten. Dacey rushes out of bedroom.
7.
8.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS – DAY
Dacey veers at last moment to avoid spot, there is nothing
there. Leaves and slams door shut.
Essence: Dacey is really losing it
Conflict: A dead guy is in her house!
Subtext: The blood is back?
Hope/fear: Dacey is okay/fear she had something to do with
murder or is crazy (both are equally bad).
SCENE ARC: FROM NICE EVENT THAT DACEY IS ENJOYING TO
INDICATION THAT SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN
INT. HOSPITAL GROUP ROOM – DAY
Patients and staff work together to decorate a Christmas
tree. Dacey talks to doctor who says stress can cause strange
symptoms, but nothing to worry about, they are all distressed
about Tom. He wants to put her on day shift only, this back
and forth isnot good for anyone. Shyanne steals garland,
winks at Cora and shows her garland under her sweater.
Essence: Dacey is okay, all is okay
Conflict: Shyanne steals garland
Subtext: something bad is going to happen to Cora
Hope/fear: Dacey finds garland/something bad is going to
happen
SCENE ARC: FROM NICE PARTY, DACEY FEELING BETTER, TO
EMERGENCY WITH CORA
INT. HOSPITAL GROUP ROOM – NIGHT
Christmas party is in full swing. Doc and Dacey talk, she
feels better after talking to him, just so weird, never knew
anyone who was murdered before. Shyanne and Cora are missing
from party. Shyanne runs in points to room, can barely get
words out to explain what is going on (Cora, Cora is…help)
SCENE ARC: FROM EMERGENCY TO DACEY IS THE HERO
8.
9.
INT. PATIENT ROOM – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
Dacey and other staff run into room. Cora is hanging with
garland. Dacey freezes, others can’t get her down, Dacey
demands they take Shyanne out and then Dacey jumps in and
gets her down (they are trying to lift her, Dacey does smart
thing and opens door and guides her to ground), gives her
CPR, she starts breathing.
In the background, patient in bed has one eye open.
Essence: Dacey is okay, competent at work
Conflict: Dacey knows Shyanne did this
Subtext: Shyanne loves this
Hope/fear: Cora is going to be okay/fear they can’t get her
down, breathing again
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY HAVING KIDS UPSET WITH HER TO APPEARING
GOOD AND DOING NORMAL THINGS
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Kids are hanging around, Dacey is washing floor, trying to
act casual, son asks about it, she cleans another area – in
her POV is spreading blood. Lana complains about not having a
tree, all her friends already have one.Dacey looks at blood,
blinks hard, looks again, doesn’t see it. Dacey says fine,
we’ll go. (you want to get a tree? Now? Okay, let’s go).
After they leave, a shadow passes by window.
Essence: Kids are starting to have problem with Dacey but she
is able to snap out of it
Conflict: Lana is mad that they don’t have a tree
Subtext: Dacey is realizing she is delusional
Hope/fear: Dacey is going to be able to overcome her
issues/fear there really is a problem – Tom is in house
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY DOING GREAT TO HAVING DELUSION THAT
SCARES CHILDREN
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
They put up tree. Dacey is trying to make sure it’s straight,
James help her. Lana brings her a cup of tea.
9.
10.
Mel goes through box of decorations, puts garland around her
neck like a scarf – invisible hands pulls her in the air –
Dacey runs over and grabs her legs, trying to pull her down.
Lana calls “Mom” and Dacey snaps out of it – she has her arms
wrapped around her daughter’s head (as she is standing, not
in air!)
Essence: Oh no, Dacey is crazy and kids are seeing it
Conflict: Dacey scares the kids
Subtext: Lana has something to do with it
Hope/fear: Ward doesn’t hear about this!/fear Dacey is in big
trouble (with being crazy and family)
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY SEEMING LIKE SHE IS GOING TO TELL TRUTH
TO LYING
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – FRONT HALL – DAY
Police come to her house to ask her about Tom coming over
before his murder. She denies. They leave.
Essence: Police are on to her
Conflict: They think she has something to do with it
Subtext: Dacey is scared she had something to do with it
Hope/fear: Dacey is innocent/fear she killed Tom
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY ADMITTING SOME THINGS TO WARD AND HIM
COMFORTING HER THAT HE WILL HANDLE THINGS
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN
Dacey tells Ward about police. Says she dreamed he came over,
but he didn’t really, no evidence he was there in morning.
Ward tells her there is nothing to worry about, he will take
care of everything.
Essence: Dacey is finally admitting things to Ward
Conflict: Dacey is holding a lot back
Subtext: Ward knows she is holding back (and what)
Hope/fear: Ward will take care of everything/what she holds
back is going to haunt her later
10.
11.
SCENE ARC: WARD APPEARS TO BE HELPING TO WE DON’T THINK HE IS
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BEDROOM
Husband watches footage on RING camera. Sees Tom come in and
then leave in Uber. Deletes it, but then we see he has
already recorded to cloud.
Essence: Ward is not helping
Conflict: Ward is doing something to hurt Dacey
Subtext: Dacey is about to be in a world of shit
Hope/fear: Ward is helping/fear he is trying to hurt Dacey
SCENE ARC: FROM POLICE JUST ASKING FOR HELP TO ACTUALLY
STATING SHE IS A PERSON OF INTEREST IN CRIME
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
The police come back to see Dacey, they show her video of Tom
coming – she admits that something happened that night but
she thought it was a dream. She tells them that he left – she
called an uber – they FF video, he never leaves, she shows
uber account, never was a pick-up that night. They tell her
to stay in town. Her boss comes, too for emotional support.
Tom walks through room, distracts Dacey.
Essence: Dacey is a “person of interest”
Conflict: Police and Dacey – she has to admit to lying before
and looks guilty
Subtext: For police – she is holding something back (audience
knows though)
Hope/fear: Dacey can get out of this/fear she is going to
make herself a real suspect just because she is holding back.
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY LOOKING LIKE SHE KILLED TOM TO FOR SURE
INNOCENT
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Dacey wakes from nightmare where she was witness to Tom being
killed, didn’t do it herself. Wakes rolls over and looks at
Ward
11.
12.
Essence: Dacey is not the killer
Conflict: Dacey witnessed killing
Subtext: Maybe it was Ward…
Hope/fear: she can figure it out/fear she won’t and will get
arrested.
SCENE (SEQUENCE) ARC: FROM DACEY SEEMING BETTER TO DOING MUCH
WORSE
INT. HOSPITAL MEDICATION CLOSET – DAY
Dacey looks down at her feet, sees patient shoes, blinks,
back to her own shoes.
Dacey goes into closet furtively and steal anti-psychotic
meds.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Dacey finishes up cleaning, takes dinner out of oven. Ward
comes home and is happy, kids are happy. Ward helps her clean
kitchen after dinner, they dance. He makes her tea.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Dacey moves rug into correct place, frowns at change in floor
color (faded from scrubbing so much) relaxes. Ward brings her
tea, talks about how she seems much better. Ward goes
upstairs and she examines tea before drinking it
Essence: Meds are helping
Conflict: There is tension from Dacey toward Ward
Subtext: Dacey is suspicious of Ward
Hope/fear: Dacey is going to be okay/fear that Ward might
make sure she is not.
SCENE ARC: FROM WARD DEFINITELY DRUGGING HER TO ACTING ALL
SUPPORTIVE
12.
13.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Ward takes out tea bags and adds drops of liquid to them.
Lana almost catches him.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Dacey is really losing it again- scrubbing floor. Ward comes
home and says he will cook dinner, it’s okay, he understands.
He call her and kids for dinner. She doesn’t come. Ward helps
her clean up bucket.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BATHROOM – DAY
Ward sets out clothes while Dacey scrubs her hands, he kisses
her and tells her to come down to eat when she is done.
Essence: Ward is drugging her and acting all nice
Conflict: Ward is being passive/aggressive
Subtext: Ward is about to do something
Hope/fear: Dacey figures out what is going on/Lana tells her
something, fear that Ward is about to doing something big
SCENE ARC: FROM WARD LEAVING TO BRINGING LANA IN ON HIS PLAN
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Ward walks past Dacey who is scrubbing floor and not even
noticing that he has suitcases.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Ward talks to kids, Mel and James don’t want him to leave, he
assures them that he’ll make sure they are okay and he
alludes to Lana that she knows what to do.
Essence: Ward is leaving but Lana is on his side
Conflict: Lana is against her mother
Subtext: Even though Ward is leaving thing won’t get better
for Dacey – may get worse
Hope/fear: Ward is just talking about taking care of little
kids/fear he means to keep drugging Dacey
13.
14.
SCENE ARC:
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – FRONT HALL – DAY
Doorbell rings. Dacey comes out with bucket, sees it’s her
boss. Runs to kitchen, dumps bucket, splashes bloody water on
floor, puts rags down, washes hands, puts on robe. She
answers door and can’t decide where to go. Settles on living
room. Moves rug. Boss puts her on leave until the conclusion
of the investigation.
Essence: Things are getting worse for Dacey
Conflict: She is put on leave
Subtext: she will not be going back to work
Hope/fear: She ask him for help/fear that will cause more of
a problem
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY BEING SUSPICIOUS OF WARD TO THEM
GETTING BACK TOGETHER
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN
Ward calls Dacey and on the phone we hear him say he should
have stayed and helped her, not abandoned when she needed him
most – could she forgive him? Could they get back together?
Dacey gets very emotional, is thrilled and agrees to meet him
at restaurant where they had first date.
Essence: Ward is sorry and wants to make up
Conflict: Dacey is reluctant at first
Subtext: Is this legit? Too good to be true…
Hope/fear: Ward is being authentic/fear something worse might
happen.
SCENE ARC: FROM WARD SEEMING LIKE HE IS TRYING TO GET BACK
WITH DACEY TO CONFIRMING WHAT A SCUMBAG HE IS
14.
15.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Ward hangs up phone and has an orgasm. Girl from anniversary
party comes up from under covers and snuggles with him.
Essence: Ward does not want to get back with Dacey
Conflict: Ward is playing her for some reason
Subtext: He is going to do something
Hope/fear: Dacey figures it out/he is going to hurt her…
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY BEING HOPEFUL TO KNOWING WHAT AUDIENCE
KNEW ALL ALONG
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
There is a reservation and an order for wine and hors
d’oeuvres. Dacey waits…and waits…and waits. Finally leaves
and rushes out to get home.
Essence: Ward had no intention of meeting her and now she
knows that
Conflict: Ward didn’t show up
Subtext: Ward must be doing something, Dacey must get home!
Hope/fear: He was just messing with her/fear He was trying to
get her out of house.
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY BEING WORRIED TO HAVING HER WORST FEARS
REALIZED
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – FRONT HALL
Dacey rushes into house calling kids, no answer, goes to
their rooms, many things are gone. Ward calls, he tells Dacey
that he has kids and if she says anything he’ll have her
locked up.
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY DOING NORMAL THINGS TO ANOTHER INSANE
DELUSION.
15.
16.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Christmas Eve, Dacey sees people from hospital on alter, all
get pulled up to ceiling by garland that snakes down, blood
starts leaking from statues, people, waves of blood on floor.
Tom sits next to her, whispers in her ear.
Essence: Dacey is getting worse
Conflict: Dacey is fighting her mind that threatens to pull
her under
Subtext: No meds
Hope/fear: Dacey gets help/fear she is too far gone
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY THINKING THEY ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER
TO SEEING WARD AND DANA
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Christmas morning husband brings kids, says he will come in
but has to get something from car, goes out. Dacey seems
smitten, playing happy families. No blood on floor.
Dacey gives kids presents, they all say they already got them
from Dana (father’s girlfriend). She looks out window for
husband – he is in car – doing something that looks weird.
Dacey gets on boots and coat – goes outside. Walks up to car
and sees –
He is j’ing off to video call with girlfriend.
Essence: Dacey now knows they aren’t getting back together
Conflict: Dacey catches Ward being wildly inappropriate
(almost sends Mel out but then goes herself)
Subtext: He is doing something that looks weird from house
Hope/fear: They are getting back together/fear that he is
leaving house for some odd reason
SCENE (SEQUENCE) ARC: FROM DACEY BEING MORTIFIED BY WARDS
ACTIONS THROWN INTO A FULL BLOWN DELUSION
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS -DAY
Dacey mortified runs back in house.
16.
17.
Ward comes in, makes Dacey tea, with tea bags that he brings
and puts into her tea bag holder she cries, he comforts her,
tells her girl means nothing and he still wants to work
things out with her. She asks about Christmas presents, he
says coincidence. She says she looked up online and saw that
everything she bought them was listed, girlfriend must have
looked, now she just sounds paranoid.
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
James is on blood spot, playing with a toy car, smearing
blood. Dacey screams
Ward comes in and says there is no blood, look
Dacey looks, no blood, realizes she never said anything about
blood, asks him how he knew. He tells kids it is time to
leave. They leave their stuff, barely say good bye.
Essence: Ward knows about blood
Conflict: Between Dacey and Ward and Dacey and kids
Subtext: Ward knows more than he is letting on
Hope/fear: Maybe it will be okay/Ward is controlling
everything
SCENE ARC: FROM DACEY TRUSTING TOM AND BEING ABLE TO SOLVE
EVERYTHING TO GETTING TAKEN AWAY (ARRESTED)
INT. DACEY’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Tom leads her to husband’s closet where she finds (rubber
chicken – which is in cart that woman pushes around in
hospital) then she finds bat, she turns to Tom but then
Ward is there, not Tom and he grabs her leg and yanks her out
of closet, he chokes her. Admits everything. Door bell rings
and someone yells “Police”
Police come to arrest her. She is fighting off Ward, who in
police POV is not there. She yells for Tom – fights them.
They call an ambulance and send her away.
Essence: Dacey is crazier than we thought
Conflict: Fake Ward, then police
Subtext: Something is very wrong here
17.
18.
Hope/fear: Dacey finds bat is going to be able to exonerate
self, but then Ward is there, going to kill her.
SCENE (SEQUENCE)ARC: FROM HOW IS DACEY WORKING TO DACEY IS
NOT A REAL PERSON
INT. HOSPITAL LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
What looks like our Dacey standing in front of her locker
(where we’ve seen her before) getting ready for work someone
comes up to her and says “She’s awake.” Dacey follows
person.
INT. PATIENT ROOM – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
“Dacey” is in bed, still think she’s there, under arrest, but
then they call her Christina, patient who has been in
background. Nurse we thought was Dacey is called Darcey.
Dacey/Christina is upset that Tom is dead, that she is being
blamed for killing him, etc. still believing that she is
Dacey. Darcey comforts her, explains everything to her, how
doc calls it splicing. Shyanne gestures to Christina to grab
Darcey’s door swipe. Christina does and throws it to her.
Essence: Dacey is not real!
Conflict: Christina doesn’t believe Darcey
Subtext: Shyanne is going to do something
Hope/fear: Darcey notices keys/something bad is going to
happen to Christina.
SCENE (SEQUENCE) ARC: FROM SHYANNE STEALING DARCEY’S
BELONGINGS TO THEM LEAVING
INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Shyanne goes to locker and gets Darcey’s belongings.
SCENE ARC:
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
Shyanne, Christina and Tanya find car by pressing button on
remote and car beeps. They all pile in.
18.
19.
INT. CAR (MOVING) – NIGHT
Shyanne throws Darcey’s wallet at tells her to find Darcey’s
address. (what’s your address?)
EXT. DARCEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Darcey’s car pulls up and Dacey/Christina gets out. Shyanne
peels out. Dacey/Christina is confused that it is not the one
from her dream.
INT. DARCEY’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
She goes and looks for kids. Thinks she finds bedroom, it’s a
sewing room, another door is a linen closet.
She stumbles around house, more and more upset. Darcey’s real
husband comes home, she sees him from behind, calls her
“husband’s” name – he turns around – short, bald, not
handsome like her “husband”.
She kills him (or at least injures severely).
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
POLICE pull up and Christina is arrested and taken to
hospital.
INT. PATIENT ROOM – NIGHT
Christina talks to nurse named Laura.
EXT. DARCEY’S HOUSE – DAY
A woman (appears to be Darcey) goes into “Darcey’s” house and
says I’m home, (and after a delay) her same three imaginary
kids rush up to her – her imaginary husband turns around with
her breakfast and says hi Lori, I made breakfast –
19.

[Hope McPherson]

Hope’s Scene Requirements

Vision: To be a working, trusted screenwriter who supports herself by writing smart films that are produced and enjoyed, while also working on writing assignments for other industry professionals.

What I learned: What an ordeal! But I’m finally this far, at least. The outline was the place to discover I could combine a couple of scenes and fix act 4, though. I imagined myself figuring this out after the first draft or two and

ACT 1

EXT. BUCOLIC MEADOW – DAY

Assistant Professor of English Marta Jordan directs her fictional characters – and they aren’t happy with her editorial indecisiveness. A student-athlete breaks the spell when he arrives for help on his essay.

Scene Arc: Marta has writer’s block and the characters aren’t happy about it!

Essence: The characters are restless.

Conflict: The characters begin plotting.

Subtext: Marta doesn’t know the characters are watching her.

Hope/fear: Marta will overcome writer’s block. The characters will mutiny.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

While helping struggling student-athlete, Marta avoids calls from her publisher. Learns the dean wants to talk to her next morning.

Scene Arc: Marta in teaching mode to possible trouble with publisher and dean.

Essence: Marta is a young academic/assistant professor.

Conflict: Will the publisher get through to her? What’s the dean want?

Subtext: Marta is trying to juggle a lot of balls and failing.

Hope/fear: Marta will succeed with the publisher and dean. We’re afraid she’s in trouble.

EXT. BUCOLIC MEADOW – DAY

Marta again works on her book. Her antagonist, Cyrus, is getting mad. A phone call pulls her out of it, and the publisher tells her she has a week to get the book to him or she’ll be in breach of contract.

Scene Arc: Marta still trying to get through writer’s block but the publisher’s ultimatum makes it worse.

Essence: The characters are growing stronger and they’re pissed.

Conflict: The characters refuse to listen to Marta.

Subtext: Marta doesn’t know the characters have a plan of their own.

Hope/fear: We hope she has a breakthrough. We’re afraid she won’t.

INT. DEAN’S OFFICE – DAY

Marta learns the college will put her or Professor Andrew Vanderburg on the tenure track – while the other will be let go or be demoted to adjunct faculty. Marta bursts into tears for the dean who has to make such a difficult decision.

Scene Arc: Marta learns her job is on the line at the college.

Essence: Marta is in a precarious place with her day job and writing.

Conflict: She and Andrew are now in competition.

Subtext: Marta’s emotions are out of whack as she worries too much about others.

Hope/fear: We hope Marta keeps her job. We fear Andrew may get it.

INT. ANDREW VANDERBURG’S OFFICE – DAY

Prof. Vanderburg calls someone, worried about his job – but sure he hasn’t been discovered yet. David, Marta’s fiancé, arrives to give Andrew the $20 he owes him after David lost the bet over a college basketball game.

Scene Arc: Andrew plans to use Marta’s fiancé to sabotage Marta.

Essence: Andrew is out for No. 1

Conflict: His job in at stake.

Subtext: Andrew has something going on the side that he’s hiding.

Hope/fear: Will Marta find out? Will Andrew’s plan work?

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

In her classroom, Marta bores her students, and when she returns student essays, she congratulates the bored student-athlete on acing his paper, much to Marta’s surprise.

Scene Arc: Marta in class, doing her thing.

Essence: She’s not as popular or as interesting as Andrew.

Conflict: She bores her students.

Subtext: The dean isn’t impressed.

Hope/fear: That this was just a bad day. We fear Andrew will get tenure.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

In her office, Marta complains to David that her characters aren’t doing what she wrote — literally! Andrew pokes his head into the office, and – Andrew gets buddy-buddy with David. Invites him out for poker night with the guys.

Scene Arc: Marta’s troubles continue with writing to Andrew pulling David away from Marta.

Essence: The characters are taking over, and Andrew is manipulating David.

Conflict: David is choosing poker over Marta while she has writer’s block.

Subtext: The fictional characters are mutinying and David has a gambling problem.

Hope/fear: The David will see through Andrew. But we fear Andrew has his number.

EXT. CAMPUS QUAD – DAY

Marta and David argue about final wedding details. David leaves for a poker convention, tells Marta to do whatever last-minute plans she needs to do – and pick up his tux while she’s at it.

Scene Arc: From discussing wedding plans together to Marta being on her own.

Essence: Andrew’s plan is working.

Conflict: Marta is on her own before their wedding.

Subtext: Marta lets David walk all over her.

Hope/fear: We hope David will help. We fear he’s going to get into trouble at the poker convention.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Marta’s book’s fictional antagonist, Cyrus Landrake shows up in her classroom with a list of the characters’ demands. The list includes what kind of character they want to be. Cyrus wants to be the hero of her manuscript.

Scene Arc: The characters make demands of Marta.

Essence: The characters are real!

Conflict: They are demanding she do what they want.

Subtext: Her writer’s block just got 1000x worse.

Hope/fear: Hope that Marta will keep control, but fear that the characters will win.

ACT 2

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

Marta opens the file with her book’s draft and discovers Cyrus is no longer in the pages! She’s is still convinced this is a scam – and Andrew is responsible. She bursts into Andrew’s office to accuse him of hacking into her laptop. The student-athlete is in Andrew’s office, too. Andrew sees Cyrus and is intrigued.

Scene Arc: From accusing Andrew to noticing her student is also there.

Essence: Marta believes Andrew is doing something underhanded.

Conflict: Marta distrusts her colleague.

Subtext: Andrew is scamming her, but not the way she thinks.

Hope/fear: We hope she figures out what Andrew is doing, but we fear she won’t.

EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

Cyrus follows Marta through her final wedding errands. He creates trouble by editing her wedding plans with the venue and caterer. He edits her decisions, etc. But Cyrus also begins to enjoy real life.

Scene Arc: Cyrus gets a taste of the real world and he likes it.

Essence: Cyrus discovers the real world.

Conflict: Marta must try to prevent him from editing her wedding plans.

Subtext: Marta responds like a child who’s mom was an alcoholic.

Hope/fear: that Marta can show some backbone; but fear she’s not there yet.

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

David meets her for dinner, with Andrew tagging along. Marta lies, saying Cyrus is her cousin in town for the wedding. Cyrus wants to edit out David during dinner.

Scene Arc: Marta begins lying to David and Andrew about who Cyrus is.

Essence: Marta has to deal with David, Andrew, and Cyrus at the same time.

Conflict: Cyrus wants to edit David-as-fiance.

Subtext: Cyrus sees that David isn’t right for Marta.

Hope/fear: We hope Marta can control the situation; we fear Cyrus is getting stronger.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

The dean observes Marta’s class, but this time Cyrus takes over when he’s tired of Marta messing up. He talks about Bronte’s characters as though he knows them. Marta kicks him out.

Scene Arc: Marta goes from professor in charge to professor on the sidelines – on front of the dean.

Essence: The dean sees Marta as a weak professor!

Conflict: Cyrus takes over

Subtext: Cyrus seems to “know, personally” the fictional characters.

Hope/fear: We hope Marta won’t lose her job, but we fear she will.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Cyrus loves the real world; he pokes his head into Andrew’s class (lots of laughing and energy!)) Checks out another class and discovers “unions” in a business class.

Scene Arc: Cyrus goes exploring and likes what he learns.

Essence: Cyrus goes from sheltered fictional character to man on a new mission

Conflict: Marta is losing control of her fictional character.

Subtext: Cyrus now knows what he’s been missing.

Hope/fear: We hope that Cyrus cooperates, but we fear that he’ll get even wilder.

INT. POKER ROOM – NIGHT

David makes an outrageous bet for a new wedding venue and wins big. Says his luck is on the rise and no stopping him now.

Scene Arc: David goes from winner to out-of-control loser-to-be.

Essence: David is losing it.

Conflict: David loses their wedding money.

Subtext: David is out of control.

Hope/fear: We hope David will have self-control, but we fear he’ll get worse.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

Marta discovers a second character – Rose, a maid – has disappeared from her book completely. Cyrus introduces Marta to “Rosie,” and they take her out on the town.

EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

They continue “editing” Marta with new hairdo and new makeup. Marta, still in disbelief, wants to know how this happened. Andrew is following them. Marta’s publisher calls, demanding the book in a week or be sued. Cyrus insists she write the characters’ new storylines to solve her and their problems. He’s losing his patience.

Scene Arc: Marta’s writer’s block is coming back to haunt her.

Essence: Now Cyrus wants to help her.

Conflict: She has writer’s block!

Subtext: Cyrus wants to control his own destiny.

Hope/fear: that Marta can finish her book; we fear she’ll be sued.

EXT. COLLEGE QUAD – DAY

Andrew wants the truth about Cyrus and Rose. Cyrus and Rose say they are Marta’s cousins, but their story falls apart when Andrew probes. Andrew tempts them with “real life’s” choices and pleasures. When David walks past, Andrew ropes him into taking part in a secret bigtime poker match to give Marta best wedding present ever, knowing he’ll probably lose big.

Scene Arc: Andrew goes all out to sabotage Marta.

Essence: Andrew is a shmuck.

Conflict: Can David keep his promise to Marta not to bet anymore?

Subtext: Andrew wants to win at all costs.

Hope/fear: That David will see through Andrew, but fear that he’ll bet and lose.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

David has disappeared. Marta can’t reach him via cell or any other way. She discovers David has been written into the pages. Cyrus says he put David into the manuscript.

Scene Arc: David is missing to found – in the manuscript!

Essence: Cyrus wants to have his way!

Conflict: Cyrus puts his powers to work?!

Subtext: Cyrus is trying anything he can think of to get his way.

Hope/fear: We hope David is OK, but we fear he’s now fictional.

ACT 3

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Marta fights back after Cyrus threatens to delete David in 24 hours if she doesn’t change the characters according to their requests. Marta edits Cyrus into a 10-year-old. But 10-year-old Cyrus turns book-David into a rabbit. The rabbit runs away, and Marta writes herself into the book to find him!

Scene Arc: From writer’s block to Marta being in the book herself!

Essence: Things got even worse for Marta.

Conflict: David is apparently a rabbit – and missing.

Subtext: Marta is finally taking matters into her own hands.

Hope/fear: we hope she can find David and get out of the book, but we worry David will be lost forever.

EXT. BUCOLIC MEADOW – DAY

Marta explores the meadow, searching for the rabbit-David. She finds the David-rabbit and brings him back.

Scene Arc: Marta explores her own world.

Essence: She sees it from another side.

Conflict: Gotta find the rabbit!

Subtext:

Hope/fear: We hope she finds David, but we fear she won’t get back to the real world.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

Back in the real world, Marta tells Cyrus that she’ll turn him into an adult again, if he’ll make David a human again. Cyrus refuses until he’s the book’s hero – or until she writes him out of the book to let him stay in the “real world.”

Scene Arc: Marta is back to discovering Cyrus doesn’t want to go back!

Essence: Cyrus likes this side of the pages.

Conflict: Marta loses more control of her characters.

Subtext: Marta needs to figure out how to deal with this.

Hope/fear: We hope Cyrus cooperates, but we fear he won’t and Marta will lose again.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – MONTAGE

Marta cares for the rabbit and also agrees to rewrite Rosie into a governess. She writes like crazy – but misses classes, doesn’t grade papers, and ignores calls from the dean. She’s a mess.

Scene Arc: Marta starts with a plan and ends by losing control.

Essence: things are heating up yet more.

Conflict: everything

Subtext: Marta would rather write than teach.

Hope/fear: We hope Marta gets the draft done, but fear she’ll be fired.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

David returns from the poker game after losing BIG. Marta thinks Cyrus turned him into a human again! David goes along with that lie to hide that he lost it all gambling. Then she sees the David-rabbit!

Scene Arc: David returns and Marta realizes he lied to her.

Essence: Marta stops making excuses/concessions for David.

Conflict: Marta must admit she was wrong and decide to move on.

Subtext: Marta lets go of her childhood baggage.

Hope/fear: We hope Marta takes care of herself, but we fear she’ll fall back on old habits.

INT. MARTA’S OFFICE – DAY

Cyrus admits that real David was never really in the book. Furious, she is about to do a replace-all in her manuscript – turning Cyrus into a fish – when Andrew arrives. He tells Cyrus that he doesn’t need Marta; he and Rose can create their own futures by trading fiction for nonfiction!

Scene Arc: Marta loses Cyrus to real life.

Essence: Marta loses Cyrus to real life.

Conflict: Andrew lures Cyrus and Rose away from Marta.

Subtext: Andrew still going for tenure.

Hope/fear: we hope Marta keeps control of her characters, but we fear she won’t.

INT. DEAN’S OFFICE – DAY

Marta looking for Cyrus and Rose when the dean fires her, effective immediately for a variety of reasons, including sloppy teaching, lack of academic publications, and stupid fiction. Andrew is put on tenure track.

Scene Arc: Marta is fired and Andrew gets tenure.

Essence: This is Marta at her lowest, without David, without the characters, and without a job.

Conflict: Marta is now unemployed.

Subtext: Andrew has seemingly won.

Hope/fear: we hope she’ll get through this, but we fear she won’t.

ACT 4

EXT. CITY STREET – DAY

Marta calls her publisher and admits she lost control of her characters. Literally. He takes pity on her. Says he’ll give her one more chance, if she can find them.

Scene Arc: No hope to a glimmer of hope.

Essence: Marta needs to get her characters back.

Conflict: The characters are missing.

Subtext: The publisher thinks it’s writer’s block; we know the characters are MIA.

Hope/fear: we hope the publisher gives her one more chance; we hope Marta finds her characters.

INT. WEDDING VENUE – DAY

Marta checks in with the new wedding venue and discovers David didn’t pay for it. They can’t use it and David admits he gambled away $35K that was for their wedding. He wants to have her forget the characters and elope. Now. Marta calls off the wedding and dumps David.

Scene Arc: From losing characters to losing her wedding hopes and dreams.

Essence: She’s alone now.

Conflict: She’s seeing David for who he is.

Subtext: David expects to get his way again.

Hope/fear: We hope she really dumps him; we’re afraid she’ll give in.

EXT. CITY STREET – MONTAGE

Marta hunts for Cyrus and Rose. Checks out the homeless. Goes into soup kitchen. Finally hears a disturbance – Cyrus is trying to edit a police officer! Marta smooths it out with the police officer, and explains to Cyrus and Rose that she has a solution and hopes they can help her for real.

Scene Arc: Marta seeks her characters and finally finds them.

Essence: She cares about their wellbeing.

Conflict: They want the real world, but don’t understand it.

Subtext: She wants them to be happy, too.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll return with her; we fear they may not.

INT. DEAN’S OFFICE

Marta shows up unannounced at English Department meeting, where announcement to be made, re Andrew’s tenure. Cyrus and Rose are there, and she brings the student-athlete. Marta tells him to tell the dean what he told her after she confronted him with his final essay: Andrew had been writing his final papers to keep him on the basketball team – and to make extra money. The dean fires Andrew on the spot and offers Marta her job back. Marta declines. Tells the dean that she sent the book to her publisher – with Cyrus as the hero – and he loved it.

Scene Arc: Marta is finally stepping up to keep her job.

Essence: She’s showing some moxie.

Conflict: Andrew won’t go down without a fight.

Subtext: Marta is more sure of herself than she’s ever been.

Hope/fear: We hope she really is, and we fear Andrew may have something else up his sleeve.

INT. BOOK STORE – DAY

Marta is at a book signing for her now-bestseller; the line goes out the door. The dean appears book in hand for her autograph. He begs her to reconsider returning to her professor role. She would be made a new endowed chair and given time each year to continue writing. Marta says she’ll think about it.

Scene Arc: Marta is can choose her path.

Essence: Marta is a success at her dream job.

Conflict: The decision to teach or not.

Subtext: She gets to choose

Hope/fear: We know what she’ll choose!

[Kevin Cunningham]

Kevin Cunningham’s Scene Requirements

My Vision: By making my high-quality writing and speaking known in many venues (the Industry, Youtube, podcasts, books), I will create a reputation as a profoundly powerful, thoughtful, and skilled writer, and be sought after for new and rewrite activities at the highest levels.

What I learned from doing this assignment: Each exercise, while kind of arduous, deepens the story crafting. This went rather easily, though took time.

——

Concept: A woke New England town votes to give their land back to the Native American tribe they stole it from centuries before – putting leadership of the town in the hands of a clueless slacker Native teen

Implicit Concept: Even when they try to help the Natives, the whites can’t help but try to screw them over.

Main Conflict: A slacker Native teen, appointed leader of a town, must overcome his own immaturity and many competing partisan forces to successfully keep the town out of breakdown and bankruptcy, and protect his tribe’s future.

——

Act 1:

INT. BOSTON COURTHOUSE (1677) – DAY

Native John Wompas is interrogated by Daniel Gookin about selling Native lands inappropriately.

– Scene Arc: John Wompas, Native, admits he finagled land sales

– Essence: The Native land was transferred to whites in a variety of ways, including illegal

– Conflict: Wompas may be prosecuted if he can’t justify the sales

– Subtext: Wompas’s family may lose their home

– Hope/fear: Hope he gets away with it, fear he’ll be thrown in jail (prejudice)

INT. MUKKI BEDROOM – DAY

Mukki is wakened by his mother to prepare for the powwow; Mukki doesn’t want to go.

– Scene Arc: Mukki forced to wake up early – and dress funny

– Essence: Mukki doesn’t align with his tribal identity

– Conflict: Mukki lazy but compliant, Mother insistent

– Subtext: Mukki is ashamed of his identity

– Hope/fear: hope Mukki will come through, fear he will be lost in depair

INT. FOX LIVING ROOM – DAY

Mr. Fox declares that “land is everything” and Elizabeth makes him commit to retiring soon.

– Scene Arc: conservative Mr. Fox agrees to look into retiring soon

– Essence: Mr. Fox is motivated to do a final big real estate deal to close out his career

– Conflict: Mr. Fox loves his job

– Subtext: He will make the deal for a retirement home, he also cheated on his wife

– Hope/fear: hope father and daughter will get along, fear that they will be at loggerheads

EXT. FAIRGROUNDS – DAY

Mukki participates in the powwow Grand Entry – ineptly.

– Scene Arc: Mukki tries to do a good job, but keeps messing up

– Essence: Mukki reluctant about being a true Native

– Conflict: Mukki not adept with his own body

– Subtext: Mukki embarassed by his identity

– Hope/fear: hope Mukki will succeed, afraid he will be shamed

INT. HIGH SCHOOL THEATER – DAY

Progressive Jessie Masnubic directs Alison et al in a fiercely revisionist Thanksgiving pageant.

– Scene Arc: Jessie tries to persuade kids to align with her revision

– Essence: Alison faces questions about ultra-left

– Conflict: Alison tries to be balanced, but can’t find it

– Subtext: Jessie questions her own progressiveness

– Hope/fear: hope that Alison can win, fear that she will be overwhelmed by Jessie

INT. MUKKI BEDROOM – DAY

Mukki, humiliated, retreats to his room to play video games. Grandfather suggests that Mukki join his mother at Town Meeting.

– Scene Arc: Mukki retreats but is appointed to Town Meeting

– Essence: Grandfather takes charge of Mukki

– Conflict: Mukki wants to disappear, but forced into duty

– Subtext: Mukki knows it’s best for him

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will come around, fear that he will collapse

INT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Mr. Fox talks stealthily with an obscure man, then goes into town developer’s office, talks to the historian and town developer, who gives him bad news about his land request.

– Scene Arc: Mr. Fox sets things in motion

– Essence: Mr. Fox loses his legal attempt at land

– Conflict: The Zoning Board refuses his request

– Subtext: Mr. Fox is trying to arrange for his retirement

– Hope/fear: hope that Mr. Fox’s request goes through, fearful that he won’t get his way

INT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Jessie Masnubic corrals a cabal of progressives to insist on several progressive votes.

– Scene Arc: Jessie tries to persuade the leftists

– Essence: Jessie is dominating others through fear and intimidation

– Conflict: Jessie encounters some pushback but fights

– Subtext: Jessie is a bully, but why?

– Hope/fear: hope that others will overwhelm her, fear that she will bully them all

EXT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Conservatives hobble into Town Hall, concerned about town finances and opposed to progressive motions.

– Scene Arc: conservatives go to Town Meeting grousing

– Essence: conservatives are one down

– Conflict: they want to keep town spending down

– Subtext: they are afraid of losing their status/money/culture

– Hope/fear: hope they will be nice, fearful that they will be brutal

INT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Town Hall votes several progressive motions including Indigenous People’s Day, then unexpectedly votes on whether to give the land over to the natives – Mr. Fox casts the deciding vote, turning the town over to the Natives!

– Scene Arc: progressives sweep, but conservatives dare them to go too far – and Mr. Fox helps them!

– Essence: the town votes to give the land

– Conflict: the extreme sides of the town fight each other, creating a foolish result

– Subtext: they don’t follow their principles

– Hope/fear: hope they’ll be reasonable, fearful they’ll go too far to cancel each other

Act 2:

INT. NATIVE OFFICE – DAY

Grandfather assigns Mukki to run the town that has been ceded to the Natives.

– Scene Arc: Natives assign Mukki to run the town

– Essence: Grandfather once again pushes Mukki to leadership role

– Conflict: Mukki doesn’t want to do it

– Subtext: Grandfather continues to push Mukki to elevate

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will come through, fear that Mukki will be unequal to it

EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Alison offers to help Mukki run the town, but he rebuffs her.

– Scene Arc: Alison steps forward to help Mukki, but he rejects her

– Essence: Mukki keeps Alison at bay

– Conflict: Alison wants to help, but Mukki doesn’t want help

– Subtext: Mukki fears appearing weak

– Hope/fear: hope that Alison and Mukki will hit it off, fear that he will turn mean

INT. TOWN HALL SELECTBOARD ROOM – DAY

Elizabeth communicates to the Select Board that the town is in financial peril, threatening everyone’s wealth. Mukki, overwhelmed, commits to reaching out to all constituents to decide what to do.

– Scene Arc: Mukki reluctantly moves to run the town, only to find it’s a lemon

– Essence: Mukki saddled with a difficult task

– Conflict: Mukki faces a domain he’s not used to

– Subtext: the conservatives were fooling the natives

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki can manage the town well, fear it will destroy him

INT. FOX LIVING ROOM – DAY

Elizabeth gets Mr. Fox to commit to helping Mukki, then explores the budget further.

– Scene Arc: Elizabeth encourages Mr. Fox and Alison to help Mukki, for the town’s sake

– Essence: Mukki is assigned helpers

– Conflict: Elizabeth expects resistance

– Subtext: Mr. Fox wants to be involved, because it’s part of his plan

– Hope/fear: hope that ELiz can get folks onboard to help Mukki, afraid they’ll resist

EXT. CASINO – DAY

Mr. Fox meets with various people, for unknown reasons.

– Scene Arc: Mr. Fox continues his plan

– Essence: Mr. Fox is up to something, but what?

– Conflict: Mr. Fox sees that the developers are menacing

– Subtext: Mr. Fox is keeping his options open

– Hope/fear: hope that Mr. Fox is up to good, fear he is in danger, or a bad guy himself

INT. MUKKI’s BEDROOM – DAY

Mukki’s mom coaches him about how to deal with the people in town.

– Scene Arc: Mukki, desperate about his role, is consoled and educated by his mom

– Essence: Mukki learns things

– Conflict: Mukki wants to give it all up

– Subtext: Mukki is afraid he’s not worthy, wants a man’s lead

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will be freed of his burden, afraid he’ll mess up or get mad at his mom

EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY

Mukki meets with the conservatives, with moderate success.

– Scene Arc: Mukki tries to ingratiate himself with the conservatives and appears to do so

– Essence: Mukki tries to win over the others by being what they expect

– Conflict: Mukki is turned off by their politics/orientation

– Subtext: Mukki is unclear of his identity

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki wins them over, fearlful he’s lost his identity

INT. JESSIE LIVING ROOM – DAY

Mukki meets with the progressives, and just can’t please them.

– Scene Arc: Mukki tries to win over progressives, but can’t get past their militant DEI orientation

– Essence: Mukki fails with those who should defend him

– Conflict: Mukki is reasonable, they’re intolerant

– Subtext: Mukki again thrown off his identity

– Hope/fear: hope Mukki will clear the hurdle, fearful he will be cancelled and lose the town

EXT. JESSIE HOUSE – DAY

Alison confronts Mukki, insisting that he has to up his game.

– Scene Arc: Alison exhorts Mukki to up his game

– Essence: Alison tries to help Mukki but frustrated

– Conflict: Mukki feels like a loser as someone tries to coach him

– Subtext: Mukki feeling despondent

– Hope/fear: hope Alison will support him, afraid she’ll just be mean to him like those people

EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Mukki tries to calm the anxious crowd who are losing their town jobs, but gets punched.

– Scene Arc: Mukki faces an unexpectedly belligerent crowd, tries to calm them but they lash out

– Essence: Mukki assaulted by frightened citizens

– Conflict: Mukki wants to be the nice guy, but citizens are fearful

– Subtext: people are worried

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki can comfort them, afraid they’ll tear Mukki apart

INT. TOWN HALL SELECTBOARD ROOM – DAY

Mukki finds out that the town is greatly in debt and needs to pay out now – by selling the land of his tribe – or lose everything!

– Scene Arc: Mukki learns the real threat to the town – loss of everything including his tribe’s lands

– Essence: Mukki finally faces an existential threat to his tribe

– Conflict: people around Mukki are all over the place

– Subtext: the tribe finally faces what every other tribe has faced – annihilation by the white man

– Hope/fear: hope that it won’t be so bad, fear that Mukki will lose it all

Act 3:

EXT. MUKKI HOUSE – DAY

Mukki encounters the Powwow Princess, now enamored of him, but is burdened by the town problems.

– Scene Arc: bummed Mukki can’t even accept a lover’s entreaty, he’s got man’s work to do

– Essence: it’s not fun and games anymore

– Conflict: would like to accept princess kiss, but internal struggle

– Subtext: Mukki is taking on responsibility

– Hope/fear: hope he’ll be able to solve his problem, fearful that he’ll alienate those who love him

INT. MUKKI HOUSE – DAY

Mukki despairs as Mr. Fox brings Grandfather up to date on the town issue.

– Scene Arc: Mukki goes from calmness to despair over the situation

– Essence: Mukki might not hold it together

– Conflict: Mukki wants to relinquish responsibility to the men

– Subtext: Mukki doesn;t want to fail before these two mentors

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki can pull it together/find a solution, fearful he’ll break down

EXT. MUKKI HOUSE – DAY

Grandfather cautions Mr. Fox that he knows he’s up to something.

– Scene Arc: Grandfather call Mr. Fox on hiding something, Mr. Fox notes this

– Essence: Mr. Fox knows he’s on notice

– Conflict: Mr. Fox did not expect to be seen through

– Subtext: Mr. Fox admires the Grandfather’s perspicacity

– Hope/fear: hope that these two will work together, afraid Mr. Fox will deny everything

INT. MUKKI HOUSE – DAY

Alison comforts Mukki, who appeals to Grandfather and Mr. Fox for help.

– Scene Arc: Alison comforts Mukki, who turns to the men for help

– Essence: Mukki accepts the responsibility, but needs help

– Conflict: Mukki squirms to get out of it

– Subtext: Mukki lets in other people

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will solve the problem, fearful he will give up

INT. FOX CAR – DAY

Mr. Fox reveals to Alison that he will try to help Mukki.

– Scene Arc: Mr. Fox and Alison agree to help Mukki

– Essence: Mr. Fox and Alison come to agreement on something

– Conflict: They’re coming from different sides

– Subtext: Mr. Fox has committed himself to a new course

– Hope/fear: hope they can get along, fearful they will disagree and both abandon Mukki

EXT. RIVER BANK – DAY

Grandfather teaches Mukki about canoeing.

– Scene Arc: Grandfather teaches a hesitant Mukki

– Essence: Mukki takes on training

– Conflict: Mukki doesn’t know what’s going on

– Subtext: Mukki accepts training from a mentor/father figure

– Hope/fear:

INT. STEAM TENT – DAY

Grandfather continues Mukki’s education about whites seizing their land.

– Scene Arc: Grandfather now educates Mukki about white land grabs

– Essence: Mukki learns of land

– Conflict: Mukki doesn’t know what’s happening

– Subtext: Mukki is learning patience

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will gain knowledge/skills of use to him, fear that he will not be up to it

?

Mr. Fox [and Elizabeth?] coaches Mukki on financials and land.

– Scene Arc: M. Fox gives Mukki a municipal view of money/land

– Essence: Mr. Fox mentors Mukki on what to do

– Conflict: Mukki doesn’t trust Mr. Fox

– Subtext: Mr. Fox creates a father/son relationship with Mukki

– Hope/fear: hope that they will work together well to solve the problem, fear that Mr. Fox is tricking him for his own ends

INT. JESSIE LIVING ROOM – DAY

Alison defends Mukki against the progressive disgust with him.

– Scene Arc: Alison defends Mukki before the progressives

– Essence: Alison rejects hate

– Conflict: they want to cancel her

– Subtext: Alison is maturing

– Hope/fear: hope that Alison can convince them to support Mukki, fear that they will wreck her and Mukki out of spite

INT. ? – DAY

Grandfather completes his training of Mukki, clarifying that protecting his people is the most important thing. A mysterious stranger meets Grandfather, who suffers heart strain.

– Scene Arc: Grandfather completes Mukki’s training, and meets a mysterious man

– Essence: Mukki is ready

– Conflict: Mukki is fearful – or overconfident

– Subtext: Grandfather is blessing Mukki

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki is up for it, fear that the mysterious man brings bad news

INT. COUNTRY CLUB – DAY

The conservatives debate how to kill Mukki, but Mr. Fox stops them with a plan.

– Scene Arc: the conservatives mull how to replace Mukki, but Mr. Fox redirects them

– Essence: Mr. Fox inculcates the new plan

– Conflict: they really want to wreck Mukki

– Subtext: Mr. Fox is moving away from the conservatives

– Hope/fear: hope that Mr. Fox can lure them over, fear that they will threaten Mukki

EXT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Everyone piles into the Town Hall, fearful for the town.

– Scene Arc: people come into Town Hall apprehensive

– Essence: the crowd is on edge

– Conflict: both sides hate the other

– Subtext: people are afraid

– Hope/fear: hope they’ll be open to Mukki, afraid they’ll want to destroy

INT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Mukki proceeds in spite of the rancor, and gets the majority of the town to look hopefully to the future, but it turns out that the solution – selling the land – is not an option, so the mob falls apart. They attack Mukki, but Mr. Fox distracts them and Mukki escapes.

– Scene Arc: Mukki proposes a solution that unifies the town, but a legal problem dashes it to pieces

– Essence: Mukki wins over the majority of the crowd but has a major setback

– Conflict: the extremists try to get in his way

– Subtext: Mukki leads

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will bring everyone together and solve the problem, fear that the extremists will blow it all apart

Act 4:

EXT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Alison reaches out in support to Mukki, but he disconsolately storms off.

– Scene Arc: Mukki storms away, not to be consoled by Alison

– Essence: Mukki believes he’s tried his hardest and can’t win

– Conflict: Mukki doesn’t consider this his town anyway – he finds his Native identity

– Subtext: why is this Mukki’s problem anyway?

– Hope/fear: hope that ALison and Mukki can support each other, afraid he’ll hurt her

INT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT

Mr. Fox has convinced the town to vote to take the land back if they can, but this enrages the developers.

– Scene Arc: Mr. Fox proposes a real solution but meets with some opposition

– Essence: Mr. Fox fixes the problem, but alienates the developers

– Conflict: developers wanted the original plan – full sell-off

– Subtext: Mr. Fox has left his “side”

– Hope/fear: hope that this will solve the problem, fearful that someone will take a wrong step

EXT. MUKKI HOME – NIGHT

Mukki finds an ambulance parked at his home, races in.

– Scene Arc: Mukki returns home, only to find things messed up there too

– Essence: Mukki can find no solace at home

– Conflict: medical concerns

– Subtext: Mukki returns home

– Hope/fear: hopeful that Mukki will find comfort with his people, fearful that someone has died

INT. MUKKI LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Mukki finds Grandfather alive but impaired, is affirmed by Grandfather, and meets the mysterious stranger.

– Scene Arc: Mukki finds Grandfather ill, but is blessed by him, and meets stranger

– Essence: Mukki has succeeded in the important thing

– Conflict: illness, not knowing

– Subtext: Mukki belongs with his people

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki will connect with family, fear that medical danger and mysterious stranger will ruin things

INT. FOX LIVING ROOM – DAY

Alison wanders forlorn, then confronts her father for secretly planning the debacle to get land. She admits to loving Mukki.

– Scene Arc: Alison goes from depair to accusation, out of love for Mukki

– Essence: Alison confronts her father

– Conflict: liberal versus conservative, daughter vs, father

– Subtext: Alison is vulnerable

– Hope/fear: hope that Alison reconciles with father, fearful that she’ll wreck her relationship

INT. FOX LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Mukki enters, accuses Mr. Fox and Alison, and storms out, followed by Alison.

– Scene Arc: Mukki accuses Mr. Fox of secretly planning all of it, but Alison realizes that’s not true

– Essence: Mukki accuses Mr. Fox

– Conflict: Mukki rightfully confronts Mr. Fox, Alison

– Subtext: Mukki will speak truth to power

– Hope/fear: hope that they can all reconcile, fear that Mukki is right (those bastard whites messing up again)

EXT. FOX HOME – DAY

Alison races after Mukki as the menacing developers pull up.

Alison and Mukki fight, but she convinces him she loves him and that Mr. Fox is innocent, sort of.

– Scene Arc: Alison races after Mukki to let him know the truth

– Essence: Alison wants Mukki to be happy

– Conflict: Mukki is convinced otherwise

– Subtext: Alison really loves Mukki and fears losing him

– Hope/fear: hope that Alison can reach Mukki, afraid he’ll dismiss her

INT. FOX LIVING ROOM – DAY

The disgruntled casino developers – and an old flame of Mr. Fox’s – confront Mr. Fox, threatening to kill him.

Mukki races in and defeats the developers using native skills and video game strategies.

– Scene Arc: the developers threaten Mr. Fox, but Mukki and Alison defeat them

– Essence: Mukki rescues his loved ones

– Conflict: bad guys threaten violence

– Subtext: Mukki belongs here too

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki can rescue Mr. Fox, fear that the bad guys will kill them all

INT. NATIVE OFFICE – DAY

Mukki and Alison persuade the tribe to give most of the land back.

– Scene Arc: Mukki persuades tribe to return the land

– Essence: Mukki persuades the leaders against their history

– Conflict: lots of history of white men messing up natives

– Subtext: Mukki is a leader now

– Hope/fear: hope that Mukki can bring the tribe together, fear that they will choose wrong or alienate him

INT. HIGH SCHOOL THEATER – NIGHT

The town and the Natives together attend the Thanksgiving pageant. Mukki takes Alison’s hand.

The historian reveals that the land should not have gone to Mukki’s tribe in the first place, but another tribe.

– Scene Arc: the town and the natives gather together for Thanksgiving, together

– Essence: the people are united in good will

– Conflict: the performance still isn’t “the truth”

– Subtext: they are working together

– Hope/fear: hope that they will be nice to each other, fear that something will go wrong

[Jamie Handley]

Jamie Handley MOD 4 DAY 9

Because of a life rights bailout and waiting on one last copyright permission (now have) I had to reconstruct my entire script’s story. The concept is the same.

After an horrific accident, a woman shares her knowledge of medical negligence to her friends until she discovers the medical mafia and her closest friend is about to undergo a complex surgery by a surgeon who is connected to the mob.

WITHOUT RECOURSE “INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY”

In order to get to the first draft, MOD 5, I will come back daily to do the lessons in MOD 4 (which I feel is very important) one day at a time. For now this is my rough outline.

ACT 1

Arizona 2020

Justine is royally pissed off at someone (Marsha) on the phone, screaming and we hear the conversation. She’s a real bitch.

Justine’s been caring for her dying mother for seven years, exhausted and has physical issues. She wears a full back brace. Her mother, Sarah, falls, becomes unconscious. Firemen and ambulance attend to her. The chaos and sirens stir an old memory of a horrific accident she had years ago that changed her life forever.

FLASHBACK

JUNE 1994 Lake Tahoe, Nevada

Justine is in a complicated relationship with Davidson Wentworth, a wealthy, good looking slick man. She is financially dependent on him with her floral shop. The shop is her life until her accident, is airflighted to a Reno Hospital. An ambulance chaser lawyer finds her in hospital, she’s tempted to sign but her associate at the shop, Gemma, squashes that. She’s bedridden for days, released from hospital, has Gemma to help her while Davidson out of town.

When he returns she has nothing nice to say. In fact she can’t stand him right now. He doesn’t want to get involved.

Weeks are spent between the shop, medical issues and legal meetings. She finds a local attorney in town, William Randell who she signs with until later he fails to show in court. Her case is thrown out of court. Justine turns into a real bitch again. Snappy and short tempered. Now she has to plead to Davidson for help, once again at his mercy. He offers his attorney, Donavon Pierce.

Gemma brings up how crooked Donavon is, heard he was part of a new mafia, the medical mafia (signs with him anyway) Gemma thinks Davidson is around waiting for his share of the money or make her sell the shop. Justine doesn’t believe either.

Tired of the pain, the pills, office visits, is advised by seven surgeons that she needs surgery except one, who she blows up at in his office, but soon after she succumbs. She calls a close friend, Jax, a renowned floral designer, for help with the shop but to no avail. Calls daughter, Gracie, who comes to Tahoe while she goes to…

Turning Point

California, where her mother, Sarah, lives and has the surgery, almost dies. As she heals, Donovan calls about the settlement offer, she refuses. Davidson intervenes, meets with Donovan, he has his ways with Justine. He’ll get her to agree. She returns to Tahoe, Gracie returns home.

Reunited, happy to see the shop doing well and Gemma, Gemma happens to bring “the medical mafia article” to the shop for Justine to see. It shows a photo of the two men involved. Justine is still in disbelief, thinks it’s all politics.

Conference – Justine meets with Davidson before the final settlement offer hearing. At the meeting it’s the “good-old-boys” (Judge Blankenship, Donovan and Davidson) who all went to school together.

She is pressured to take the final offer, by the Judge and Donovan. However, final payment could take months because she signed a LOP (Letter of Protection aka medical lien) with Donovan. They settle out of court, but something doesn’t feel right to Justine, but what?

Davidson and Justine attend a large party with A-list professionals, investors, doctors etc. When the Judge and Donovan arrive this causes a big problem with Justine. She soon learns that Davidson is an investor in companies she’s never heard about. Who is he really?

NOTE – HERE’S WHERE WE MEET THE BIG ROLLERS IN THE MAFIA

AT A PARTY; Davidson, Donovan, Lucas, Judge, Dr. Sherman (Jax & Marsha’s surgeon) Neil Watson (Insurance adjuster @ settlement & 2 other men), Edward Grant CEO of D.W.E. Services, Inc./ medical & legal services (Davidson is an investor) and other faces in the court case and places to come. Several people are attending but not known at this stage of Act 1.

That night Justine finds an enormous wad of cash, a check (stating referral fee) from Donovan to Davidson and confronts him. Referral for what? He won’t say. None of her fucking business. They have a row, (she doesn’t know him kind of fight) and decides to leave him, close the shop and move to Arizona where it’s warm and good for her body. And she does.

ACT 2

BACK TO SCENE

2020 The beginning of COVID in ARIZONA

Justine falls over the oxygen line of Sarah’s and breaks her hip. Justine fakes that she has no pain until it’s so bad she is unable to walk. She calls Gracie to come help with Sarah but she’s the one who needs help but would never admit it.

Gracie shows up, moves in, but brings her significant other, Nathan with her, without asking or letting anyone know. This is a big upset, for everyone, even for Sarah. Sarah confronts Gracie with a lecture, men, money, future and health.

Justine must have surgery, signs an AMA, (Against Medical Advise) and walks out of hospital day after surgery. Two days later Sarah dies. Justine is devastated and despondent. She receives insurance money that Sarah left for her. (Sarah no longer cares about money like she once did)

Jax comes to help Justine and Gracie. Jax demands Justine come back with him to San Diego and recoup. She packs and goes with him.

Turing Point 2

SAN DIEGO

Little by little Jax helps her come around; walks on beach, dinners. The two go out to Lips, a drag queen dinner show, where Jax, a real boozer, meets up with his lover, Lucas Pierce, a good looking lawyer.

She gets drunk. Lucas and Justine spar over the law, brings up her court case and the good-old-boys and mafia. Big difference of opinion, she doesn’t like him. Next day she returns home.

ARIZONA

NOTE: WORK ON THIS….Gracie has the house decorated with Christmas. It feels good to be home for the first time in a long time. Could things get to being normal?

Turning Point 2/Midpoint

NEVADA

Lucas calls Justine to notify that Jax was in an accident but not a bad one. They went to Las Vegas to party but he’s going to stay with his mother, Karlie, who has a good doctor and lawyer. He hits Ellis Kilpatrick, an FBI agent.

Jax needs Gracie to cover an important event for him.

NOTE: AT HOTEL, CONFERENCE WITH THE MEDICAL DEVICE MAKERS. We see a lot of the familiar faces of surgeons.

ARIZONA

Justine gets on the phone, preaches about doctors and lawyers in Nevada. She shares the story of a friend, Marsha, who lives in Vegas whose spine caved in after a surgery there. His name doesn’t come to mind. MONTAGE OR SERIES – Sharing the story of lifelong friend, Marsha.

NOTE: Surgery is with Dr. Sherman & Cohen. Marsha’s lawyer is Donald Wittman.

Justine has her monthly visit with her primary, Dr. T. She questions is knowledge of the medical mafia, is it real? Dr. T. evades the question. [ETHICS] She borrows a book (Danger Within Us) from him.

Gracie gets package from Lucas with all the arrangements for the San Diego event. Jax has her to sign a confidential document, (like the one they did in Hawaii at a very private affair). She pays no mind. Nathan is pissed. They argue, she’s about done with him.

Justine and Gracie go to airport. Gracie confides about Nathan with Justine. They go their separate ways.

ACT 3

NEVADA

Justine arrives in Nevada to see Jax. At the hospital, TWO men shake hands, (Lucas and Granger) another with his back turned (Dr. Taylor Sherman) as he talks with Dr. Cohen, and she walks by unnoticed. The men appear to be sales reps, impressively dressed, both with identical expensive briefcases.

Justine turns around, Lucas puts a large envelope in his case, she notices, they don’t see her. Door shuts and Lucas slithers away with briefcase.

As she enters room, Jax is drugged up good. Tries to ask question him, he’s out of it.

Dr. Sherman enters room with Dr. Cohen and Joseph Granger, both with documents in hand.

Sherman – “he’ll need surgery down the road”, introduces Dr. Cohen as he’ll be doing the surgery, but with no insurance that’s when Granger steps up with a LOP document. Justine interrupts, refers to Jax as her brother, takes documents and they’ll get back with them after discussing with mother. (Karlie)

Justine’s beyond pissed, “I told you do not have surgery, you are going to have to learn to live with pain, there are no recourses.” Jax drifts off until…

Nurse walks in hands Jax an envelope. Inside a get well note from Ellis Kilpatrick with his business card. (FBI investigator) Justine reads it, questions it and keeps it.

Act 3 Turning Point

ARIZONA

WEEKS LATER

Justine gets a call from Karlie. Jax has met with an attorney, Donald Wittman who has been persuaded Jax to have the surgery, refers him to see a Dr. Cohen, for a spine surgery that he doesn’t need. Justine is alarmed. How did Wittman get involved? Why? It puzzles her.

Justine calls Davidson, brings him up to date with Jax. “But why would a FBI Agent give his card?” She asks for his help since Donovan says he won’t. He’ll get back with her.

Later that night she gets out the mafia article and rereads it. Justine studies the photo of the TWO MEN (Wittman and Sherman) with Lucas in background. (We can’t make it out well but it is Dr. Sherman) Suddenly she gets worried and scared.

Gracie overhears the conversation, calls Davidson. They have a long conversation about Justine and helping Jax. Gracie explains the situation but Davidson already knows all about it. She asks him to visit mom but he can’t, he has an important meeting in the morning.

Justine starts looking on the computer for anything. She discovers a worldwide medical website, BECKER’S , that releases information on surgeons who are corrupt and have bilked millions of dollars in kickback schemes. She dumbfounded. This goes on for days as she prints out the articles for herself and to share with Davidson and Jax.

NEVADA

Davidson calls Donovan and sets up a meeting with Dr. Sherman and Lucas. Donovan knows something about Lucas and he can’t be trusted. He’s a heat-seeking homing missile. He’s getting greedy and he can do some real damage. They need to talk in private.

The four meet for lunch. Bits and pieces are shared about, Ellis, too many surgeries, money, prescriptions, and work load. Sherman is beyond capacity with surgeries. Grapevine has it there’s an investigation under hat.

Davidson and Donovan leave together, step away and talk in private. Their conversation is about getting immunity if they become a government witness.

NOTE: MARK JACOBSON, DEFENSE ATTORNEY, claims that should have been minor, like Jax, were becoming major. Treated usually treated with P.T. were undergoing drastic spine-fusion surgeries. Some insurers sent in their top lawyers. There is 80 billion in insurance fraud annually. They even held an unusual meeting more than a dozen D.A. attended. Grainger offers protection, no malpractice suits, even threatens associates. Expert witnesses don’t want involved with us. Grainger thinks he’s a fixer for us but he’s going cause some real problems. Patients all signed medical liens (LOP) RIGHT!

ARIZONA

Davidson comes to Arizona to see Justine. They go to dinner, Davidson gathers information (she gives him many of Becker’s articles and goes back to his hotel where she spends the night with him.

At the hotel Davidson takes out his DEA Investigator badge, puts on counter without thinking along with the Becker files. Justine looks for a file, finds badge and asks for explanations. He does his best but there is so much he cannot talk about.

Davidson asks her to come to Tahoe and stay, maybe even get some rest, saying how much has changed, including him. She becomes enraged, refuses his offer and walks out again. Same old shit. She should have known better.

ACT 4

NOTE- Davidson has been following the pill-mill since Justine’s accident. That’s why he let her go so easily.

ARIZONA

Justine is beside herself. Calls to check on Jax, but he’s not around. Phone rings, it’s Marsha’s brother, Mike. Marsha had another surgery, got a blood clot, they caught it in time but is now paralyzed from the waist down. She wants to end her life and Mike doesn’t know what to do.

She didn’t take your advice when you last spoke, remember, you were yelling! Ya, gotta come help her. Justine breaks down in tears.

NEVADA

Jax is calling, stops the conversation with Mike…gotta take this call, call you later.

Jax didn’t do the surgery. Mr. Kilpatrick shed the light on the investigation with Jax. Jax will be a star witness. He’s doing ok and going to p.t. like Justine told him. Lucas won’t talk to Jax and has shut the door on him. But, the p.t. is pretty fine!!!

ARIZONA

Justine and Gracie have a heart-to-heart. The confidentiality agreement from Jax was really his will, leaving his home to Justine and business to Gracie if he dies. Justine is giving Gracie money to rent a small store front for her business. Justine gets a certified letter. Davidson sends a copy of his indictment (he’s turned government witness in Jax’s case) along with a ticket to fly in to Tahoe.

NEVADA – TAHOE

Davidson picks her up at airport. He shows up in a pick-up truck, not a limo like he would normally have done. They drive up Mt. Rose highway to Tahoe but it’s not the same home. It’s totally different. It’s just a nice comfortable cabin.

Justine is totally confused and begins with all her questions. Davidson admits to her who he really is, just a man doing his job, had to play a role. He beings to explain everything and she stops him in his tracks. NOW WHAT??? Where do we go from here? How about Montana? I bought us 20 acres and we can build whatever kind of home you want.

Justine wants to save it for another day maybe another time. She calls Gemma and they meet for lunch and catch up on all the daily gossip. Justine grabs the newspaper and finds a small article where a Las Vegas Medical group and a dozens of surgeons and personal-injury lawyers were charged with fraud, conspiracy and witness tampering.

Gemma takes Justine to airport. She stops in Las Vegas where Mike picks her up. She goes to see Marsha. They reunite, tears fall, 50+ years of friendship isn’t going to stop Justine from seeing Marsha.

NEED ENDING SHOTS…SERIES OR MONTAGE. Come back to this.

THEN:

REAL SHOTS OF HEADLINES ONE BY ONE:

New York neurosurgeon indicted for unnecessary, invasive tests in kickback scheme

Texas spine surgeon sued by an insurer who alleged he performed medically unnecessary procedures to inflate personal injury claim. $1.1M in damages

Hospital, orthopedic surgeon share liability in $6.3M verdict

Chiropractor sentenced to 14 months in spine surgery kickback scheme

Olympic volleyball player permanently paralyzed from chest down with spinal surgery.

20 doctors under the government’s cross hairs.

NOTE: ATTACHED DOCUMENT FROM BECKERS’ January 2018 – August 2022 SENTENCING CONTINUES IN CALIFORNIA SPINE KICKBACK CASE: 6 developments in 4+ years. (15 year scheme $500 M in fraud bill & $40 million in kickback; Dr Capen $5M in kickbacks , Full pardon to Taustino Bernadett, MD sentenced to 15 months in prison in illegal kickback scheme )

Hundreds of patients harmed by surgeons, maybe thousands and thousands we haven’t discover yet.

Former Sanford Health neurosurgeon to pay $4.4.M to resolve kickback charges.Ndw trial required for Missouri neurosurgeon’s kickback case.

Medical Mafia makes $80 Billion Killing

[Joaquin Gray]

Joaquin “Ibn Gray’s” Scene requirements

My vision is that I am an A plus screenplay writer, who’s scripts are produced into extremely profitable movies which I cash large checks from.

What I learned doing this assignment is the beginning middle and end of a scene must be present.

The emancipation of 1865

Genre: Western/action

EXT. OPEN PLAIN – DAY

BREWFORD and his family, ride a two-horse wagon across an open plain in 1863.

Essence: The family is migrating to a new land.

Conflict: The are harassed by three men on horses demanding freedom papers.

Subtext: Brewford is calm, witty and sees a potential treat.

Hope/fear: We hope they migrate safely.

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

The family arrives at the new house.

Essence: Happiness, joy.

Conflict: The men ride up on horses, BJ aims a shotgun at them. One of the men pull his pistol.

Subtext: Brewford is gentle, patience with his son’s actions, in control.

Hope/fear: We hope the men don’t shoot each other.

INT. CLYDES SPOT – DAY

Essence: Clyde as a bad mother sucka. People fear him.

Conflict: What happens when you interrupt Clyde playing the piano?

Subtext: Clyde is displacing his pain.

Hope/fear: We hope no one will ever cross Clyde.

EXT. IN TOWN – DAY

Brewford and Brewford Jr ride into town.

Essence: Brewford gathering supplies for the house with his son.

Conflict: The townspeople eyeballing Brewford and BJ. The store owner informing Brewford about the rules of the town.

Subtext: Brewford being aware of his suroundings.

Hope/fear: We fear the news about captivity.

INT. CLYDES SPOT – DAY

Clyde views Brewford and BJ ride into town. Clyde tells his men to go bring him the young boy, Brewford Jr.

Essence: The soothing hypnotic sound of the piano.

Conflict: Clyde’s men beat someone up who disrupted the piano session.

Subtext: Clyde’s musical keystrokes make his men become more aggressive.

Hope/fear: We hope no one else interrupts Clyde’s playing.

EXT. GENERAL STORE – DAY

Brewford and BJ walk into the general store. The store owner welcomes them with advice.

Essence: Brewford loses his son outside the general store.

Conflict: Two men abduct BJ.

Subtext: Brewford scrambles to find BJ almost in a panic.

Hope/fear: We hope BJ can escape from the men.

INT. CLYDES SPOT – DAY

Brewford walks into Clyde’s spot during the piano recital.

Essence: Brewford is looking for BJ.

Conflict: Brewford and Clyde square off.

Subtext: Brewford is able to read the room and knows Clyde is in charge.

Hope/fear: We hope Clyde doesn’t harm Brewford for attacking him.

EXT. OPEN PLAIN – DAY

Brewford rides his horse, pulling BJ’s close at full speed, headed back home.

Essence: Brewford rushing back to his house.

Conflict: BJ’s horse not wanting to run full speed.

Subtext: Brewford controlling the horse.

Hope/fear: we hope the horse will corporate.

INT. PLANTATION – DAY

Clyde returns home. He goes straight to the barn to tend to his horses. He speaks to BJ then a slave.

Essence: Clyde’s life as the plantation owner.

Conflict: Clydes dominance over BJ and the other slaves.

Subtext: Clyde physiologically bullying BJ.

Hope/fear: We hope Clyde doesn’t punish BJ or his slaves.

INT. MEETING ROOM – DAY

Brewford stands before a group, giving a speech.

Essence: The need to gather a small army.

Conflict: Brewford’s daughter is kidnapped, and the people appose Brewford’s plan due to the fear of Clyde.

Subtext: Brewford is slightly frustrated with the towns people.

Hope/fear: We hope the people will want to fight. We fear Brewford’s daughter isn’t going to be okay.

INT. MEETING ROOM – DAY

The Women of the town approach Brewford after his speech, then take Brewford to meet a few ex-soldiers.

Essence: The women empathize with Brewford and his wife.

Conflict: The opposition of the towns people.

Subtext: Brewford realizes they aren’t soldiers.

Hope/fear: We hope someone will join him to fight.

INT. PLANTATION – DAY

Clyde prepares to possibly be visited by Bewford.

Essence: Clyde polishes knifes. Plays the piano, considering it might be his last time playing.

Conflict: Someone brings news the Calvery has crossed the Texas border and Brewford’s daughter.

Subtext: Clyde realizes it might be over soon.

Hope/fear: we fear that Clyde may snap and harm BJ and his sister.

INT. SOLDIER SPOT – DAY

Brewford meets with the soldiers. He relates to them through war stories.

Essence: The ex-soldiers agree to help Brewford rescue his children.

Conflict: one soldier is completely stand offish. Their horses go missing.

Subtext: Brewford trains with the soldiers. Prepares weapons.

Hope/fear: We fear they may be outnumbered without the guns and ammo.

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

Brewford and the soldiers ride to his house. The women are preparing horses and guns of their own.

Essence: The women mount up and ride with the men onto the plantation to fight next to them.

Conflict: The soldiers don’t believe the women should come.

Subtext: Brewford is out reasoned by his wife.

Hope/fear: We fear the women may become captives also.

EXT. PLANTATION – DAY

Clyde meets Brewford toe to toe for a fight.

Essence: The rescue.

Conflict: A knife fight. Turned into a bare-knuckle fight.

Subtext: Brewford and Clyde square off face to face, they fight without weapons.

Hope/fear: We hope Brewford kills Clyde and frees the children from captivity.

EXT. PLANTATION – DAY

The Calvery rides in.

Essence: The Calvery declares slavery officially illegal.

Conflict: A standoff with the Calvery.

Subtext: Brewford is relieved.

Hope/fear: We hope the Calvery doesn’t arrest Brewford.

Joaquin “Ibn Gray”

[Nat Melvin]

M4 LESSON 9: Natalie’s Scene requirements

My vision: Create and produce award winning stories that make an unforgettable emotional impact on a worldwide audience.

What I learned from this assignment: It is simply mind blowing how minor but very important details start showing up.

ACT 1:

Scene Arc: From confusion to the moment of clarity

INT. ABANDONED TUNNEL – NIGHT

Essence: Emily tries to recollect bizarre sacrificial ritual that caused her an emotional trauma

Conflict: Emily needs hypnosis to unblock her memories

Subtext: Emily’s trauma led her to developing a Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Hope/fear: Hope her baby is alive. Fear that Emily didn’t survive

Scene Arc: From enjoying routine chore to feeling threat

INT. FAMILY CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Walter arranges trophy plaster phantoms molded off the relatives he killed. He is too friendly with Detective Mike

Conflict: Lady Winslet calls Hagan for a chat

Subtext: Hagan represents a threat to Walter’s plans to obtain inheritance

Hope: Hagan has nothing to do with his father’s death. Fear: Hagan is in trouble

Scene Arc: From memory gap to realization

INT. EMILY’S ROOM, VICTORIAN ESTATE – DAY

Essence: Emily’s memories can be triggered by her sketches drawn under hypnosis

Conflict: Emily becomes obsessed with the idea that her baby girl is alive

Subtext: Emily needs her sketches to keep her memory intact

Hope: Emily’s daughter survived. Fear: Emily is blinded by grief of losing her child

Scene Arc: From hoping for news about the inheritance to being rejected and threatened to lose his child

INT. LADY WINSLET’S BEDROOM, VICTORIAN ESTATE – DAY

Essence: Hagan is rejected by his snobbish white suprematists’ family on his father’s side

Conflict: Hagan doesn’t have proof of his birth to be a heir

Subtext: LW wants Hagan leave Emily for good

Hope: Hagan finds proof of his birth Fear: Hagan will forever lose his child if he stay

Scene Arc: From eavesdropping to nearly being caught

INT. CORRIDOR, VICTORIAN ESTATE – DAY

Essence: Walter (as Cherimoya) is watching Hagan

Conflict: LW calls Walter deranged, unsuitable for anything, especially to run the estate

Subtext: Cherimoya is an interested party

Hope: Cheri gets caught Fear: Cheri is plotting something bad against Hagan or LW

Scene Arc: From interrogation to murder

INT. LADY WINSLET’S ROOM, VICTORIAN ESTATE – DAY

Essence: Walter (as Cheri) is after the will

Conflict: LW refuses to disclose information about the will

Subtext: Walter will stop at nothing to achieve his goal of becoming the heir of the estate

Hope: LW survives Fear: The will is lost with LW’s death

Scene Arc: From being disturbed to escaping confinement

INT. EMILY’S ROOM, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Emily wants to speak to Hagan about their child

Conflict: Emily is torn between feeing guilty for killing Hagan’s wife (flashback) and needing his help. She makes a child-like drawing of the stick people, then snaps back to being an adult when she sees Hagan

Subtext: Emily wants to escape

Hope: Emily will talk to Hagan Fear: Emily is making a big mistake by leaving her safety net

Scene Arc: From paying a farewell to his deceased father to being suspected of his murder

INT. FAMILY CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Hagan wants to collect a sample of his father’s skin for DNA test

Conflict: Detective Mike throws an accusation of Hagan being a suspect in his father’s death

Subtext: Hagan wants to prove his innocence

Hope: Hagan is related to this deceased man Fear: Hagan killed his father

Scene Arc: From hiding while witnessing a murder to being discovered

INT. MAID’S QUARTERS, VICTORIAN ESTATE – NIGHT

Essence: Flashback to Hagan’s mother being killed by his father

Conflict: Younger Hagan vs his raging drunkard father

Subtext: Hagan recollects an episode from his childhood when his mother was killed

Hope: Hagan will avoid his father’s axe Fear: Hagan will burn his father to death

Scene Arc: From hoping to talk to Hagan to being caught by Walter

INT. FAMILY CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Emily tries to speak to Hagan

Conflict: She can’t because Detective Mike won’t leave Hagan alone

Subtext: Emily wants to escape with Hagan

Hope: Emily will get a chance to catch up with Hagan Fear: Emily is in danger of being locked down

Scene Arc: from waiting for Emily to leaving

EXT. YARD, VICTORIAN ESTATE – DAY

Essence: Hagan is looking for a sign from Emily

Conflict: Emily’s window is curtained and Emily is not in sight

Subtext: Hagan plans Emily’s escape

Hope: Hagan sees Emily Fear: He leaves without seeing her

Scene Arc: From captive to fugitive runaway

EXT. FRONT YARD, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Emily escapes from her confinement

Conflict: Walter tries to stop Emily

Subtext: Emily needs Walter seeing her drawings, as a thread that she remembers

Hope: Emily will catch Hagan before he leaves Fear: Emily is too sick to be out in the world by herself

ACT 2:

1. Scene Arc: From losing Emily to coming up with a new plan

EXT. FRONT YARD, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Walter swallows Emily’s bate

Conflict: Emily is gone chasing Hagan

Subtext: Walter needs to keep Emily under control and away from Hagan

Hope: Walter sincerely means no harm to Emily Fear: He’s into something no good

2. Scene Arc: From smoking dope to chasing Emily’s car

I./E. CAR/ COUNTRY ROAD, SUBURBAN NOLA — DAY

Essence: Detective Mike pursues Emily

Conflict: He is intoxicated.

Subtext: Mike is a crooked cop

Hope: Mike will let Emily go Fear: Emily gets caught by Mike

3. Scene Arc: from purposelessly frisking Emily’s room to finding her sketches book

INT. EMILY’S ROOM, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Walter has keys to Emily’s room. He has a flashback to Susan dying in blood. He replaces Emily’s pills with prescription drugs, fixes the room neat, then takes Emily’s sketches book

Conflict: Emily’s pills were not prescription drugs, bu something other from Walter

Subtext: Walter uses drugs to control Emily

Hope: Emily is going to make it without pills Fear: Walter has his own agenda

4. Scene Arc: From driving to hitting a tree

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD, SUBURBAN NOLA — DAY

Essence: Emily accelerates, loses hold of her vehicle and slams into a tree

Conflict: Emily can’t control her seizures

Subtext: Emily has a DID (flashback to a young girl in the tunnel)

Hope: She won’t get hurt Fear: Emily will be taken back to the estate, or worse, to jail

5. Scene Arc: From studying Emily’s sketches to prepping chapel’s altar to resemble her drawings

INT. OLD CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE — DAY

Essence: Walter has a secret plan

Conflict: Some pages of Emily’s sketches are missing. LW’s drunkard husband messes up Walter’s arrangement

Subtext: Walter starts executing his plan of humiliating Emily publicly

Hope: Emily will be safe Fear: Something bad is going to happen to Emily

6. Scene Arc: from being confused to remembering why she pursues Hagan

INT. CAR – MOVING, SUBURBAN NOLA — DAY

Essence: Emily wants to convince Detective Mike to bring her to Hagan

Conflict: Mike is edgy, more interested in fishing out information about Hagan

Subtext: Emily needs a ride to Hagan’s club (does she or Mike have Halloween party flyer?

Hope: Mike will agree to help Fear: Emily won’t find her daughter

7. Scene Arc: from dwelling into a flashback to being interrupted by Cherimoya’s call

INT. HAGAN’S OFFICE, CAVE NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Hagan is haunted by his past

Conflict: Younger Hagan is too scared to stand against his father even to help his dying mother

Subtext: Hagan has issues with self-confidence

Hope: Hagan won’t get killed Fear: He won’t make it out of the house alive

8. Scene Arc: from Mike’s car to meeting Teresa

I./E. CAR /PARKING LOT, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Emily convinces Mike to bring her to Hagan’s club

Conflict: Mike leaves Emily with Teresa and goes alone

Subtext: Mike wants something from Hagan

Hope: Emily gets to see Hagan Fear: Emily will be taken to jail

9. Scene Arc: From being interrogated to being surprised

INT. NAGAN’S OFFICE, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Mike pushes Hagan to admit killing his wife

Conflict: Hagan is genuinely surprised when hearing about Walter sleeping with his wife

Subtext: Mike is hired to corner Hagan, who seemingly knows more about Susan’s death

Hope: Hagan tells the truth Fear: Hagan is involved or knows more about Susan’s death

10. Scene Arc: from feeling guilty of losing her baby to hoping for Cherimoya’s help

INT. BAR, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Emily shares her feelings of hopelessness with Teresa

Conflict: Emily doesn’t know where to start or whom to ask for help

Subtext: Emily needs to find out who knows about her daughter

Hope: Emily finds answers from Cherimoya Fear: Cherimoya can’t help (follow the Frankenstein)

11. Scene Arc: from going to see Hagan to backing away

INT. HAGAN’S OFFICE, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Emily feels guilty and backs away

Conflict: Emily can’t talk with Hagan in the presence of Teresa and Mike

Subtext: Emily wants Hagan to be aware that she broke out of the estate

Hope: Emily gets to talk to Hagan Fear: She backs away

12. Scene Arc: Hagan offers Mike a bribe

INT. HAGAN’S OFFICE, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Hagan tries to recruit Mike to help him find the records book

Conflict: Mike rushes to catch Emily

Subtext: Hagan knows that Mike is a crooked cop

Hope: Hagan finds the records book Fear: Mike lies that he can help

13. Scene Arc: from running away from Teresa and Mike to finding her way into the tunnel

I./E. CAVES NIGHTCLUB/ STREET – DAY

Essence: Emily pursues her goal of meeting Cherimoya

Conflict: Emily doesn’t know where to go

Subtext: Emily is determined to find Cherimoya

Hope: Emily won’t get caught Fear: She gets lost and falls into the wrong hands

14. Scene Arc: from hesitation to taking action to pursue Emily

INT. HAGAN’S OFFICE, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: either flashback to burning his father (or uncertainty about his feelings and actions)

Conflict: Hagan has Halloween party in his club

Subtext: Hagan is torn between his obligations and feelings for Emily

Hope: He will go after Emily Fear: His obligations are more important to him

15. Scene Arc: from learning about Emily going to the tunnel to deciding to go after her

INT. BAR, CAVES NIGHTCLUB – DAY

Essence: Hagan learns that Emily will be meeting Cherimoya in the tunnel from Teresa’s conversation (Borrows some guy’s Phantom costume)

Conflict: Cherimoya reminds Hagan about ceremony

Subtext: Hagan has feelings for Emily

Hope: Hagan finds Emily Fear: Cherimoya gets to Emily first

16. Scene Arc: from panic to enchantment

INT. MANHOLE, STREET — NIGHT / CHAMBER- NIGHT

Essence: Emily has panic episode while descending down the manhole. She gets enchanted by the enormity of the place and unfolding fiesta madness. She asks about Cherimoya, then waits

Conflict: the way back is sealed, no way out

Subtext: Emily is traumatized by darkness of the tunnels

Hope: Emily will stay safe Fear:

ACT 2

17-1 Scene Arc: from being lost to being found by Hagan/ Phantom

INT. UNDERGROUND CHAMBER, ABANDONED TUNNEL – NIGHT

Essence: Emily is looking for Cherimoya

Conflict: dangerous crowd, easy to get lost

Subtext: Emily pursues her goal of finding her daughter

Hope: Emily stays safe Fear: Emily will get another seizure episode and can be raped

18-2. Scene Arc: from being lost to dancing w Hagan/ Phantom

INT. UNDERGROUND CHAMBER, ABANDONED TUNNEL – NIGHT

Essence: Emily admits being in love with Hagan / flashback to a break up scene under the rain

Conflict: Emily undergoes withdrawal from drugs

Subtext: Emily never stopped loving Hagan

Hope: Hagan confesses his love for Em Fear: Hagan will conceal his feelings

19-3. Scene Arc: flashback – from being submissive to defending love

INT. LADY WINSLET’S BEDROOM, VICTORIAN ESTATE – DAY – FLASHBACK

Essence: Lady Winslet conditions Emily to become white suprematist

Conflict: Emily is too obedient to stand up against LW

Subtext: Lady Winslet stands for keeping her bloodline clean

Hope: Emily won’t betray Hagan Fear: Emily will obey LW

20-4. Scene Arc: from being alone/helpless to meeting Cherimoya /hopeful

INT. UNDERGROUND CHAMBER, ABANDONED TUNNEL – CONT’D

Essence: Cherimoya wants to keep Em under control

Conflict: Too many witnesses, Emily is on a brink of a seizure

Subtext: Cherimoya needs to incapacitate Em to humiliate her

Hope: Emily won’t have her seizure Fear: Cherimoya will take advantage of Em

21-5. Scene Arc: from pre-seizure to hallucinations

INT. RITUAL CAVERN, ABANDONED TUNNEL – NIGHT

Essence: Cherimoya convinces Emily to take Ayahuasca

Conflict: Emily doesn’t feel well

Subtext: Cherimoya wants to publicly humiliate Em by making her look insane

Hope: Emily can keep it together Fear: Emily can die

22-6. Scene Arc: from searching for the book to being trapped

INT. OLD CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE – NIGHT

Essence: Hagan finds clues to find family records book

Conflict: Evans interferes with bringing plaster phantoms for the ceremony

Subtext: Hagan is determined to prove his rights to the estate

Hope: Hagan will find the book Fear: Hagan will be killed

23-7. Scene Arc: from purging to seeing Hagan as the leader of the cult

INT. CEREMONIAL ROOM, ABANDONED TUNNEL – NIGHT

Essence: Emily’s vision reveals Hagan as the leader of the cult

Conflict: Emily is affected by Ayahuasca

Subtext: Emily is easily swayed

Hope: Emily’s vision is just a nightmare Fear: Emily is right about Hagan being the leader of the cult

ACT 3

24-1. Scene Arc: from being under influence to being taken back to the estate

I./E. TUNNEL/ CAVES NIGHTCLUB PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Essence: Emily is convinced that Hagan is the cult’s leader (COA in his office) who wants to take her daughter and the estate from her

Conflict: Cherimoya tries to keep Emily and Hagan apart from each other

Subtext: Emily wants to confront Hagan

Hope: Emily will find Hagan Fear: Emily doesn’t know what she’s up against

25-2. Scene Arc: from being oblivious to getting herself trapped

INT. FAMILY CRYPT, CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE – NIGHT

Essence: Emily finds secret hideout with manikins and Teresa wearing a mask of Emily’s face

Conflict: Emily doesn’t realize that she’s trapped

Subtext: Emily has been played

Hope: Emily will find her way out Fear: Emily is headed directly into a snake pit

26-3. Scene Arc: from finding secret underground passage to

INT. OLD CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE – NIGHT

Essence: Hagan searches for family records book (because of the rush funeral)

Conflict: His father’s funeral ceremony commences

Subtext: per LW’s order, Hagan’s father’s ceremony is rushed to seal him in a crypt

Hope: Hagan will remain unnoticed Fear: Hagan will be discovered

27-4. Scene Arc: from falling into a trap to believing in Walter’s lies

INT. FAMILY CRYPT, CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE – NIGHT

Essence: Emily frees Walter

Conflict: Walter accuses Hagan of being the leader of the cult who forces folks to do his dirty business

Subtext: Walter misleads Emily to win her back

Hope: Emily won’t trust Walter Fear: Walter is right about Hagan

28-5. Scene Arc: from avoiding being caught to falling into Walter’s trap

INT. FAMILY CRYPT, CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE – NIGHT

Essence: Hagan finds Emily in Walter’s embrace

Conflict: Emily seems to be having sex with Walter

Subtext: Walter set Hagan up

Hope: Hagan will believe Emily Fear: Hagan will believe in Emily’s betrayal

29-6. Scene Arc: from being tied up to freeing herself and saving Teresa

INT. FAMILY CRYPT, CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE, NIGHT – CONT’D

Essence: Emily tries to free herself and save Teresa

Conflict: Emily accidentally starts fire

Subtext: Emily realizes Walter’s betrayal

Hope: Emily manages ton escape Fear: Emily will die

30-7. Scene Arc: from being contempt to being vengeful

INT. CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE, NIGHT – CONT’D

Essence: Hagan fights for his rights

Conflict: LW /Walter demands rebuking Hagan’s rights to the estate or he’ll never see his daughter

Subtext: Walter wants Hagan dead

Hope: Hagan won’t get involved in a fight Fear: Hagan will be killed

31-8. Scene Arc: from conflict to disaster

INT. CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE, NIGHT – CONT’D

Essence: Hagan stands against LW /Walter

Conflict: Emily is forced to choose between Hagan and her daughter

Subtext: Walter wants Emily to kill Hagan

Hope: Emily misses Fear: Emily and Hagan will not survive building collapse

ACT 4

32-1. Scene Arc: from taking a fall to surviving

INT. CRYPT, CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE, NIGHT – CONT’D

Essence: Emily finds Hunter

Conflict: the building collapses

Subtext: Emily’s dream came true

Hope: Hunter survives Fear: Emily and Hunter will be buried under a debris

33-2. Scene Arc: from desperation to relief

INT. HOSPITAL, SMALL TOWN – DAY

Essence: Hunter survies

Conflict: Hunter doesn’t remember Emily

Subtext: Emily finds happiness

Hope: Emily reunites with Hagan Fear: Hagan can’t forgive Emily

34-3. Scene Arc: from hopelessness to happy ending

INT. CHAPEL, VICTORIAN ESTATE, NIGHT – CONT’D

Essence: Emily destroys the will so Hagan can inherit the estate

Conflict: Walter is disguised as LW to obtain the will

Subtext: Emily proclaims her love to Hagan

Hope: Emily, Hunter and Hagan will become a family Fear: Hagan will leave

[Valeriya Ordinartseva]

Valeriya’s Scene Requirements

My Vision: I am a masterful, ahead-of-the-game, and outside-the-box writer full of ideas and creative energy. My writing is fresh, impactful, iconic, beautiful, and effortless. My projects deliver outstanding commercial and artistic success. I am on the leading edge. I create a lot, it’s fun, quick, and easy. My whole life is that way. I love it.

I have so much fun creating scene requirements for my outline!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

– So much story and new ideas keep coming at this stage!

BOO WHO HOO:

A woman terrorized by the monster under her bed asks it to leave but it comes out with its own plans for her life.

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – EVENING

A cat, LUCKY, jumps out of the darkness underneath the bed. As the sun sets, Lucky wakes up IRENE, 26.

Strange noises in the apartment. Nobody there but Irene and Lucky. Hallucinations? Lucky hisses at the darkness under the bed. Irene tells Lucky not to go there.

Irene turns on the TV (not to feel alone). Then she turns on her computer and electric kettle, her desk lamp. All the lights blink. She doesn’t notice she hurts herself (pinching, biting nails and lips).

She has an urgent project to send. She turns off the kettle and makes a disgusting coffee to save electricity that threatens her work. Toothache bothers her.

A call startles her. Irene finds her phone in the bathroom. Her childhood friend, KATY, who is coming to town invites her to meet. Irene looks at herself in the mirror… looks for excuses.

The lights go out. Irene panics making her way to the fuse box. She flips the switches — it doesn’t help. Lucky shrieks in the dark! Something falls.

The phone rings — Katy again. The lights come back on. Irene agrees to meet.

It’s calm in the apartment but Lucky is nowhere to be found.

Scene Arc

From cat waking Irene up to cat disappearing.

Essence

Something bothers Irene and she is afraid of it.

Conflict

Is she insane or is there someone in the house?

Subtext

There is a monster in the house. Irene’s unrealized dreams and suppressed desires have been growing for years. She starts creating a path back to herself.

Hope

It’s only her imagination

Fear

This unknown thing will kill her.

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

Irene meets her flamboyant happy friend who, thanks to Irenes’ encouragement became a famous DJ (they made a promise to follow their dreams?). Irene’s life is depressing. Katy suggests Irene to see a shrink. Irene doesn’t need it, she’s not crazy. Katy invites her to her concert. Irene has too many things to do, urgent project and the landlord stopping by next week, she needs to put new wallpaper instead of those scratched by a cat.

Scene Arc

From meeting her friend to realizing how unhappy she is.

Essence

Irene inspired her friend who thanks her for success. Irene reconsiders the possibility of being happy again (she never thinks of it as an option for her)

Conflict

The friends could have similar lifestyles but they are very different.

Subtext

Irene needs help, she is wasting her life on being unhappy because of the monster

Hope

She’ll tell her friend the truth

Fear

She won’t ask for help.

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – DAY

Irene throws Katy’s flyer away. Calls puts some food for Lucky, but the cat is not there.

SAME – LATER

A noise wakes her up. Cat food is untouched. It’s getting dark.

Scene Arc

From keeping on hiding to facing the night alone.

Essence

She is truly alone now.

Conflict

It can no longer keep on like that.

Subtext

She needs help.

Hope

It was a cat

Fear

That something will come out.

INT. NIGHT STORE – NIGHT

Irene asks to put a missing cat poster in the store. The locals refer to her as weirdo, but the owner of the shop, THEO, shushes them. He gives her some candy on the house.

Scene Arc

From keeping on hiding to facing the night alone.

Essence

She is truly alone now.

Conflict

It can no longer keep on like that.

Subtext

She needs help.

Hope

It was a cat

Fear

That something will come out.

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – NIGHT

Irene sticks the wallpaper. She senses there’s someone in the house. It’s not a cat — she finds the cat’s collar. She turns on the TV. It turns off.

The bulbs go off and she has to change them. Irene sees a scary shadow. It’s made by harmless stuff.

The new bulb goes off as well. Irene runs —

Scene Arc

From going about her night to freaking out

Essence

Whatever it is it won’t leave her alone.

Conflict

Her vs it

Subtext

That’s when her soul creates the dark images

Hope

She can escape.

Fear

Something will get her in the dark.

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

Someone groans and grabs Irene in the dark. A match sheds some light on the situation — it’s Irene’s neighbor, old guy NORMAN. He’s had problems with electricity as well. He gives her a candle.

Scene Arc

From freaking out to having to go back to her place.

Essence

Electricity is an issue in the whole building.

Conflict

She takes her neighbor for a monster.

Subtext

Is it only in her head?

Hope

She can get away

Fear

It’s a monster

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – NIGHT

Irene looks for her phone with the candle. Someone kills the flame. She freaks out. The light comes back. She sees her scared face in the mirror. Googles “shrink near me”.

Scene Arc

From coming back to danger to looking for help (N3?)

Essence

Decision to change something.

Conflict

The presence of something bad.

Subtext

She can’t stay one on one with her fears.

Hope

There’s no one

Fear

She will die

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY

Irene tells the shrink about her feelings and suspicions. Shrink recommends Irene to talk to the monster under the bed. She also mentions that Irene deserves to take better care of herself, do something relaxing and fun.

Scene Arc

From distrust to surprise

Essence

Irene uses the monster as an excuse for her inaction

Conflict

She wants to have fun, find love, create

Subtext

Shrink knows what’s going on. (have you tried to talk to it? what does it want?)

Hope

It was all her imagination

Fear

it will get worse

INT. CORNER STORE – NIGHT

Irene buys a small bottle of wine in the small store. Theo asks her if she needs a company. She makes it a big bottle to says she already has a company.

Scene Arc

From a glimmer of hope to Irene shutting down

Essence

He likes her.

Conflict

She shoves him off

Subtext

She can’t have relationship with anyone as she is already in relationship with a monster

Hope

She’ll say yes.

Fear

She’ll push him away

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – NIGHT

Irene has some wine and talks to the darkness under her bed. She asks Boo to come out of there and let her enjoy life. While she turns away her wine disappears from the glass she poured herself.

Irene gathers the courage to look under the bed, but there’s nobody…

She goes back to work. Her computer flashes weird glitches.

Something breaks! Lucky came back?

Irene goes to investigate and steps on the broken glass. She picks up the photo of her family that fell, thus the glass.

The entrance door is open. She closes it.

Scared, Irene calls he mom to ask if everything is okay. After scolding Irene for never calling and then scaring her by calling and waking up her granddaughter, her mom who invites her to come over for a weekend. Irene just wanted an advice for her toothache. Irene talks to her niece about dreaming sweet dreams, favorite sweets and other things.

The entrance door is open ajar. Something moves around and behind Irene. There’s something small in the doorway. It’s a ball — crumpled flyer for Katy’s party that Irene threw away. She picks it up and straightens it out.

The lights blink. A scary monster briefly reflects in the mirror standing behind Irene. She grabs her jacket and gets out.

Scene Arc

From soul rendering conversation to running in terror

Essence

Boo looks for ways to help Irene help it. (what makes this monster feel better?)

Conflict

Irene and monster in the same space

Subtext

Boo comes out, believing that Irene can help it.

Hope

She’s just drunk

Fear

The monster won’t go away

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Something follows Irene as she runs. She sees the monster in the shadows in the gallery window, waiting for her at every turn. She rushes to the safety of the nightclub.

Scene Arc

From escaping outside to hiding inside

Essence

Her every through meets the monster, she can’t run away from it.

Conflict

Can’t get rid of it.

Subtext

The monster pushes her to enjoy life

Hope

She can meet someone the monster is afraid of

Fear

It will catch up with her.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Irene hides in the club. The monster is in the crowd, keeps chasing her. She reaches the bar. Picks up a strong guy — she doesn’t want to be alone tonight.

Scene Arc

From being alone in the crowd to getting a date

Essence

She avoids dealing with real issues

Conflict

The guy doesn’t know what’s going on

Subtext

The fear attracted them

Hope

The monster will calm down

Fear

It will kill both of them

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – NIGHT

She brings him home and locks the door and windows to keep the monster out. Lights are on. Someone in her bed under the blanket… pillows.

The guy steps into something sticky — it’s everywhere, he peels the wallpaper, soils his hands with red, as if the walls under where bleeding, tears off more wallpaper, gets scared of the glue and visions of hell and runs away.

Scene Arc

From making out to running in horror

Essence

When it feels wrong it’s wrong

Conflict

She wants him to stay but monster chases him away

Subtext

It wakes his own fears within him

Hope

he can scare the monster away

Fear

He leaves her

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

The guy runs away from the monster and dies a horrible death.

Scene Arc

From escaping to safety to dying.

Essence

running from death to meet death

Conflict

The monster is after the guy

Subtext

He was trying to escape from his own monster

Hope

he can escape

Fear

There’s no escape

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – DAY

Irene’s hand hangs from the bed, something that’s under the bed… grabs her! It’s a dream. Irene wakes up scared.

The TV is on it shows the guy who died. She turns the TV off. It turns on — her friend died as well. She can’t find the remote control to turn it off. She yells at the monster to come out. The tooth is killing her.

Scene Arc

Waking up alone to arguing with the monster.

Essence

People she knows die.

Conflict

Why torture here without killing

Subtext

She is the one burying herself alive

Hope

It has nothing to do with her

Fear

she is next

INT. DENTIST’S OFFICE – DAY

Irene goes to the dentist to pull her wisdom tooth. The monster comes back. She runs away from the dentist without treatment.

Scene Arc

From committing to treatment to running away without any

Essence

Her fear is all over her

Conflict

Monster is always with her

Subtext

She can’t get better if she doesn’t get through to her fear

Hope

It will all get better from here

Fear

The doctor is a monster

INT./EXT. TRAIN – DAY

Irene falls asleep on the train. Once the train is in the tunnel the monster appears to be sitting next to her.

Scene Arc

Alone to being with a monster.

Essence

It’s her life now and she can’t run away.

Conflict

She is exhausted

Subtext

It’s everywhere she goes.

Hope

She is heading towards solution

Fear

Something bad is ahead.

INT. IRENE’S CHILDHOOD HOME – DAY

When Irene’s mom reminds her that she’s turning 30 (26) and she is still alone, Irene says she is not alone, that’s the thing. Why didn’t she tell them? She wanted it to be a surprise. She introduces the monster and invites it to the table. Everyone believes a guy is about to come in. They wait. Irene’s niece checks the hallway and comes back quiet. Mom goes to welcome the guest. Nobody. Stupid joke. Irene’s niece confirms the monster is real.

Scene Arc

From keeping status quo to facing her family

Essence

Monster makes Irene face her parents

Conflict

Her family contributed a lot to creating a monster

Subtext

The monster is there. He knows her intimately.

Hope

It’s a joke

Fear

It will come out

INT. IRENE’S CHILDHOOD HOME – NIGHT

Irene’s niece gives her cryptic advice on dealing with monsters. She tells her that when she is afraid she thinks about the things she loves, asks Irene about what makes her happy.

Irene’s sister is pregnant, it’s heavy, but she doesn’t mind, at least her husband tries not to hit her when she is pregnant. And her husband is going away on a business trip (which might be a pleasure trip).

Irene uses her nieces trick to keep monsters at bay.

Scene Arc

From bright child back to gloom

Essence

Both sisters have their monsters by choice

Conflict

Horrible family and the kid in danger of becoming a victim

Subtext

Everyone has a choice to grow up being happy

Hope

The monster won’t touch them

Fear

They will all die

SAME – LATER

Irene’s father dies. (Does she talk to him before?)

Scene Arc

Noises in the house to dead father

Essence

Irene’s father dies

Conflict

she brings it everywhere

Subtext

The place is haunted by unrealized dreams

Hope

he is alive and tried to move

Fear

He is dead

INT. IRENE’S CHILDHOOD HOME – DAY

After funeral monster lurks between people. Irene can hardly follow what’s going on.

Scene Arc

From bright child back to gloom

Essence

Both sisters have their monsters by choice

Conflict

Horrible family and the kid in danger of becoming a victim

Subtext

Everyone has a choice to grow up being happy

Hope

The monster won’t touch them

Fear

They will all die

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – DAY

Irene stands in the middle of the mess. Cat food is gone.

She cries on her bed. Someone or something cries with her, when she stops it keeps on.

Understanding she can’t run away, Irene decides to pretend she is a friend of the monster and will do whatever it wants her to do. Irene negotiates with the monster about finding unrelated victims if there must be victims.

Scene Arc

From crying about her life to forsaking it

Essence

She thinks the evil is on the outside

Conflict

With the monster.

Subtext

It cries about itself as well.

Hope

The solution will work

Fear

The solution will work

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Irene and the monster go out to kill someone. Looking for the victim.

Scene Arc

From searching to finding the victim

Essence

Unable to sustain her pain Irene decides to hurt people

Conflict

She is becoming a monster.

Subtext

Pain

Hope

She will kill someone

Fear

Monster will kill her

INT. NIGHT STORE – NIGHT

They come to a 24/7 shop. She buys painkillers. Irene and Theo have a convo on dealing with pian vs. killing it. There’s something in the store. Irene and Theo hide from the monster. The video disconnects and electricity goes out. Theo leads Irene out of the store.

Scene Arc

From pretending she is there to buy something to luring Theo out for the monster.

Essence

Boo wants Irene to come out of her shell

Conflict

Irene wants to kill Theo, but gets to like him too

Subtext

It’s how they met thanks to the monster that means well

Hope

Theo will survive

Fear

He’ll die because of her

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Theo walks Irene back to her place. She invites him to come up. He passes until she feels better.

Scene Arc

From seeing her off to sending her off

Essence

He has plans for her

Conflict

He is planning to live happily ever after, she is planning to kill

Subtext

He doesn’t know he is a part of her plan

Hope

She changes her mind

Fear

He will get into her trap

INT. IRENE’S PLACE – NIGHT

Thunder. Pouring rain. Red, brown and black goo is everywhere. Now Irene is the one hiding under the bed. It’s on, the monster and Irene have to sort it out now. Finally Irene tries to kill herself.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Irene’s mom brings the niece who has to stay with Irene, whose pregnant sister is in hospital.

Irene tries to protect the kid from the monster, but the monster is way more powerful. Irene is pleading for the girl, but actually — for her true self.

Irene understands that the monster wants to die. She hugs it. The monster falls apart, and it gives her what it was made of — all of it. The monster is made of every desire Irene ever gave up on, it was not trying to kill Irene, was asking for help.

The lights go on, the kid wakes up and discovers the treasures.

Scene Arc

From suicidal to self-accepting

Essence

Irene finally sees herself and what matters to her.

Conflict

She can die all she wants but she can’t let the kid die

Subtext

Irene can no longer ignore her life.

Hope

She will find a way to win

Fear

The monster will kill the kid

EXT. IRENE’S PLACE – MORNING

Emergency takes Irene away.

Scene Arc

From emergency coming to taking Irene away.

Essence

Her tooth added a lot to this story of suffering.

Conflict

It could be all different if she took care of herself to start with.

Subtext

She is the one turning herself into a monster with pain.

Hope

She’ll be ok.

Fear

She is dying without realizing any of her dreams.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Irene becomes an artist who can see others’ monsters. Her paintings are in the gallery. She dates Theo.

Scene Arc

From looking at the paintings to getting a compliment for her work.

Essence

She changed.

Conflict

Is she still hesitating to go after her dreams?

Subtext

She lives her life without holding back or postponing anything

Hope

It’s not a dream.

Fear

It’s only another dream.

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY

Irene tells the shrink she no longer needs therapy. Turns out it’s not a monster tortured her, but her unrealized dreams that she neglected. Monsters don’t exist. She leaves.

There are plenty of monsters lurking under shrink’s couch.

Scene Arc

From thanking the shrink for showing her there are no monsters to a bunch of monsters under the couch.

Essence

Everyone has a monster but it takes courage to face yours.

Conflict

it’s not over.

Subtext

There are many dreams to be realized.

Hope

It’s a happy end.

Fear

It’s only the beginning.

______________________________

SPARES: During Dehumanization Era when robots get recycled for being too human, a girl brought up by a robot is hard-pressed to prove she isn’t one.

INT. TEST CENTER – DAY

Year 37 A.I.

In the queue of people mostly accompanied by their crying friends, a teenage girl LO waits for her turn to take a test — alone. Someone asks her how many lives she has left. She thinks the one she has is worthless.

Scene Arc

From Lo observing others to her thinking of her own life.

Essence

It’s a pivotal moment in her life.

Conflict

How bad and dangerous can this be? Why doesn’t she value her life?

Subtext

Here Lo begins her real path — from switching to introspection.

Hope

She will find something to hold on to in her experience.

Fear

Life is pointless.

EXT. CITY – DAY – REWIND TIMELAPS

Drone view: A futuristic city full of skyscrapers and huge screen panels turns back to a recognizable state of 21st century megapolis.

Scene Arc

From now to back when it all started.

Essence

Life is changing.

Conflict

There’s no way back.

Subtext

Lo’s story is the story is not only her story.

Hope

Her life was good.

Fear

Horrible things happened to her.

FLASHBACK

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Year 21 A.I.

A young androgynous person, SEVEN, kills an old guy. The personnel tries to capture them but Seven grabs the sunpowered wings and jumps off the window and flies away.

Scene Arc

From the inventor being alive to dead and friend becoming a killer.

Essence

The inventor succeeded to create the most human robot.

Conflict

7 Doesn’t want to kill the inventor who wants to die. Robots are supposed to listen to the orders, but this one has a choice.

Subtext

It’s the most human step anyone could do.

Hope

7 can escape.

Fear

He will get caught.

EXT. CITY – DAY

On the news NURSE AGATHA talks about how dangerous the equality between robots and humans became, and that it’s time for a change. That the killerbot has to be immediately killed but who knows where to find it.

Scene Arc

From harmonious coexistence between people and robots to people’s rage.

Essence

The split opens.

Conflict

People turn against robots

Subtext

It’s a misunderstanding.

Hope

The truth will be discovered.

Fear

The war will play ou

INT. INVENTOR’S HOUSE – DAY

Seven lets the birds out of the cage, takes inventor’s phone and sneaks out a moment before the police break in.

Scene Arc

From being home alone to leaving forever.

Essence

This robot has no meaning to keep on living for, and it’s in danger.

Conflict

The police is in the house.

Subtext

This robot was created to be special.

Hope

It will notice the police

Fear

The police will get Seven.

EXT. CITY – DAY

A bunch of young vandals play darts with public property. They notice Seven flying high and take off in the same direction.

Scene Arc

From relatively harmless entertainment to getting up to no good.

Essence

These people are looking for their next victim

Conflict

Between themselves.

Subtext

Hurt people hurt people.

Hope

Nobody will get hurt.

Fear

Seven is in danger.

EXT. BACKSTREET – DAY

Seven watches the inventor’s message on the phone. The vandals circle and torture Seven. They let it escape only to play a cruel chase game.

Scene Arc

From moving emotional moment to running from hell.

Essence

Disadvantages of being robots or humans. Seven has free will it can’t use.

Conflict

Vandals torture Seven who can’t stand up for itself.

Subtext

One of them is the villain. He knows how to control robots.

Hope

Seven will fight back

Fear

They will destroy Seven.

EXT. WASTELAND – EVENING

Seven comes to the dump site for robots, breaks its connection to the network, finds a bar to kill itself when — a baby cries nearby. Seven finds a box with a human child in it, comforts the child.

The gang with weapons comes to looks for Seven.

Seven takes the baby and soars with it — they got shot down by the gang. Police finds only the broken wings.

Scene Arc

Suicidal to saving life.

Essence

Seven can’t leave the baby.

Conflict

Seven can neither stay nor run.

Subtext

Robots are kinder than people.

Hope

For the baby and seven to get to safety.

Fear

This won’t end well.

EXT/INT. MOTEL – EVENING

Neighbors watch TV: hatred for robots — squareheads — grows with the help of the news about missing people and flying killerbot. A year later Seven gives the baby her name, Lo, and a toy — two rag dolls looking like them. Neighbors hear the baby and call the police. Seven and Lo escape.

Scene Arc

Secret birthday to running again.

Essence

Human touch in the less and less human moment.

Conflict

It’s not a life for a baby but there are no better options.

Subtext

Only robot cares for this kid. How will she turn out?

Hope

It’s safe and they can be together.

Fear

They will be broken apart.

EXT. CITY – DAY

A few years later, Screens on the streets: the Nurse is now in politics, debating with two others, Benedetta, and Jeronimo. In the news, a dehumanization program is introduced to lower the amount of robots in the society in a way that’s respectful of every citizen’s rights. Every human-looking robot is sent to recycling. The humans get released.

Scene Arc

From violence to order.

Essence

Inevitability of robots’ demise.

Conflict

It’s not a solution because one party is going to be lawfully killed.

Subtext

Life gets more dangerous for Seven.

Hope

They’ll find a way around it.

Fear

Seven will have to be recycled.

INT./EXT. ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT

Lo asks difficult questions. During the police raid, Seven risks its life to save little Lo’s toy, loses one life and leaves the kid alone.

Scene Arc

From philosophical discussion to a tragedy.

Essence

The kid’s trust broken.

Conflict

Their way out is also blocked.

Subtext

No matter how much Seven cares it can’t give Lo everything. Seven loses one life — or two — and lo doesn’t know.

Hope

Their time together is running out.

Fear

Their time together is running out. Seven may die even before recycling.

INT. SCHOOL – DAY

Lo gets ridiculed and called a squarehead for being too smart. She tries to be less than what she is in order to blend in.

Scene Arc

From loving being one of people to understanding it’s mot the case.

Essence

Lo starts hiding her true self.

Conflict

She wants to be average to fit in.

Subtext

She is better than an average human

Hope

She won’t go down this road

Fear

How can she not go down this road?

INT. HOLIDAY HOME – DAY

Lo learns to catch spy-drones so that the two of them avoid the test.

Scene Arc

From an argument about right and wrong to Lo saving Seven.

Essence

They need each other the same way.

Conflict

She rebels against the computer knowledge (next: you’ll never understand me)

Subtext

Challenge of defining oneself

Hope

They’ll find common ground

Fear

They’ll drift apart and be unhappy.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

Lo gladly shares a common human experience by participating in a robot-hating game.

Scene Arc

From being alone to joining the game and believing it.

Essence

Pulled into mainstream.

Conflict

She has to choose between being alone and being bad

Subtext

she is fighting herself and losing

Hope

she can resist

Fear

She will always be alone

INT. LOFT – NIGHT

Years later, teenage Lo argues with Seven about dating and all other human experiences. She doesn’t catch a spy-drone, so it scans their faces and prints an invitation for Seven to take a humanity test. Lo leaves with a guy who came to pick her up.

Scene Arc

From arguing to breaking up

Essence

She betrays her robot

Conflict

Robot logic doesn’t apply

Subtext

Seven failed at its mission (I’m not your project)

Hope

She’ll save Seven

Fear

She will leave Seven for dead.

INT. LOFT – DAY

Lo comes back crying. From behind the closed door Seven asks her to see it off, since it will be recycled today — but hears the door shutting, Lo leaves. The time goes by, she doesn’t come back. Time to go, but Seven can’t find its invitation for the test.

END FLASHBACK

Scene Arc

From hoping to make up before the end to being left alone to deal with it, to discovering Lo left to pass the test.

Essence

Lo realized her choice was wrong.

Conflict

Emotional discord

Subtext

Lo starts understanding what matters to her most, she decides to take the test instead of Seven.

Hope

They can make up

Fear

It will be too late to change anything.

INT. TEST CENTER – DAY

Lo has Seven’s invitation. She takes the test and is scheduled for recycling as a robot! She says she is not a robot and robots follow her example.

Scene Arc

From planning to save her friend to being sent to recycling.

Essence

Lo is taken for a robot

Conflict

Useless to argue with a machine. Huge mistake.

Subtext

Lo is special. Something is wrong with the test if people are taking for the robots. What’s going on?

Hope

the situation will be clarified

Fear

Lo will be killed.

INT. COURT – DAY

A bunch of robots claiming they are not robots, and Lo, stand before the judges. Lo can’t answer usual questions about her origins and common human experiences (Seven watching the broadcast answers them differently at the same time). Lo must find a human who can confirm she is not a robot (who knows her intimately or from childhood). The whole world is given 10 minutes to vouch for her.

Scene Arc

From a chance to prove she is a human, to being unable to do so

Essence

There’s no way to prove you are a person.

Conflict

Her word against machine’s word.

Subtext

She doesn’t meet the requirements of being human. She sends Seven a message to not blow their cover.

Hope

Someone can recognize her.

Fear

She will be recycled.

EXT. CITY – DAY

Seven runs through the city to find Lo’s boyfriend. The boyfriend looking for fame tells on TV that he happened to date her and she must certainly be a squarehead since it didn’t go very far between them, which is unusual for him.

Scene Arc

From looking for that guy to that guy betraying Lo

Essence

Her being on the side of her robot and all robots.

Conflict

The guy is a liar seeking revenge.

Subtext

Lo gives a message to Seven instead of the guy.

Hope

The guy will talk about their affair.

Fear

The time will run out.

INT./EXT. VAN – DAY

Lo and others are sent to recycling facility. The TV debate between Nurse, Benedetta, and Jeronimo (about how manipulative and sneaky robots became) gets even more heated. Seven hides under the van to get in.

Scene Arc

Trying to escape to failing.

Essence

Tricking the system. What used to work doesn’t

Conflict

The reality and the image of it

Subtext

Seven is there trying to find a solution.

Hope

They can find a way out.

Fear

They will fail

INT. RECYCLING FACILITY – DAY

The relentless recycling line takes the robots apart in the most utilitarian fashion. Seven can’t stop it. Lo comes up with a way to trick it. All of them escape.

Scene Arc

Being on the death row to escaping

Essence

The great escape.

Conflict

The machine is unstoppable

Subtext

It kills everyone.

Hope

They can stop the killing line.

Fear

There is nothing they can do.

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

The robots are chased by the police, they split. Seven, Lo and F11 hide together.

Scene Arc

From danger to safety.

Essence

They are on their own.

Conflict

With the police and the whole world

Subtext

F11 covers his 6.

Hope

they will be safe

Fear

they will get shot down.

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

Nurse Agatha found dead.

Scene Arc

From the fact to multitude of conclusions

Essence

She had a clue and now she is dead.

Conflict

The main opponent of robots is dead. Who wanted her dead and why?

Subtext

She knew too much

Hope

It won’t be as bad for the robots now.

Fear

It will get worse.

EXT. MAIN SQUARE – NIGHT

Some robots including Seven are caught. Lo comes to defend them. Other people join. The society gets divided.

Scene Arc

From a few citizens’s conflict to full blown civil war brewing.

Essence

It’s about the principles of humanity.

Conflict

Between the citizens.

Subtext

Human can’t stand the robots being better than them

Hope

Now they will listen.

Fear

They will send them back to recycle. There are no decent people left.

INT. COURT – NIGHT

The governors and politicians look for solutions. They agree on creating a fair elimination game with the help of human citizens. Everyone votes for it. People send their suggestions. Benedetta is put in charge of running the show.

Scene Arc

from radical to civilized option

Essence

find the solutions without robots.

Conflict

between the sides, pressure of the crowd

Subtext

Benedetta controls the situation.

Hope

they’ll come up with a good idea

Fear

they will go for the worst solution.

EXT. MAIN SQUARE – DAY

The machines build the playground in the old part of the city. The rules are announced. The drones record the action and the show is broadcasted everywhere.

Scene Arc

From idea to completion

Essence

The trap is built by the whole world

Conflict

People are cruel.

Subtext

Benedetta builds another killing machine.

Hope

It will be interesting and Lo can make it through this time.

Fear

All the great robots will die.

EXT. PLAYGROUND – NIGHT

Lo leads the robots through the traps, to save her robot. Robots and people help each other to go through trials.

A mysterious flying robot kills those who made the way for everyone in previous rounds.

Scene Arc

From succeeding to realizing it’s all in vain.

Essence

They work together and it’s the only way to survive.

Conflict

Game and killerbot vs players

Subtext

This game is not made to be won.

Hope

They can make it.

Fear

Whoever survived will be killed by the killerbot

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

What people see on TV is not what’s going on on the playground.

Scene Arc

From truth to lie.

Essence

People are happy with what they are being given and don’t question it.

Conflict

Realities.

Subtext

Someone manipulates the game and how it ends doesn’t depend on the players.

Hope

It will get discovered.

Fear

What are we afraid will happen?

EXT. PLAYGROUND – NIGHT

Lo catches a drone and explains that the game is rigged.

Scene Arc

From truth to lie.

Essence

People are happy with what they are being given and don’t question it.

Conflict

Realities.

Subtext

Someone manipulates the game and how it ends doesn’t depend on the players.

Hope

It will get discovered.

Fear

What are we afraid will happen?

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

People see how robots keep failing in the game.

Scene Arc

From truth to lie.

Essence

People are happy with what they are being given and don’t question it.

Conflict

Realities.

Subtext

Someone manipulates the game and how it ends doesn’t depend on the players.

Hope

It will get discovered.

Fear

What are we afraid will happen?

EXT. PLAYGROUND – NIGHT

Lo realizes there won’t be any winners. She messes with the broadcasted narrative. Lo and seven quit the game by losing.

Scene Arc

From realizing what’s going on to dying.

Essence

They decide to make it fast.

Conflict

what is and what is presented.

Subtext

They quit the game because they want to win it.

Hope

they can make it.

Fear

they are dead

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

People rejoice the robot who started this mess is killed (Lo).

Scene Arc

From disbelief to celebration.

Essence

This is the end of the fight.

Conflict

How could they quit to make the crowd happy?

Subtext

They are alive. The villain got the bait. the face the society chose.

Hope

the others will find a way

Fear

it’s over for everyone involved.

EXT. PLAYGROUND – NIGHT

Lo and Seven escape to look for the flying robot as other robots keep on, inspired by them.

Scene Arc

From inspired robots keeping on to Lo and Seven chasing flying robots.

Essence

They are on the way to solve the mystery.

Conflict

leaving the others to die.

Subtext

all this is about to explode

Hope

they will uncover the truth

Fear

they will get tracked and killed by the flying robot.

INT. INVENTOR’S HOUSE – MORNING

Lo and Seven find the flying robot’s den, and his wings. The robot is there — it’s one of the guys who was humiliating Seven in the beginning. He has a mask — it’s Benedetta.

He wants to get rid of other robots so that they can’t protect people from his well intended plan of ruling them.

He tries to kill Lo, Seven fights for her. Lo fights to save Seven. Seven sacrifices itself to kill Benedetta while Lo thinks Seven has another life left in it. (You are my life)

The drone following Lo had her phone attached to it.

Scene Arc

from finding the den to Seven defeating the flying robot.

Essence

the final battle with someone who could be smarter than anyone, with the master of the game.

Conflict

Struggle of the robots.

Subtext

It’s being recorded. who they became through their journey helps them to save the world. he knew they were coming and prepared a surprise for them.

Hope

they win

Fear

they die

EXT. CITY – MORNING

People see the recording of Benedetta’s confession from Lo’s phone.

Scene Arc

From delusion to people waking up

Essence

the truth comes out

Conflict

The price of the revelation

Subtext

They were blind to their own blindness

Hope

It will be a new world

Fear

they won’t get it

INT. LOFT – MORNING

The toys of Lo and Seven holding hands watch the recording.

Scene Arc

From news to dolls

Essence

it’s their legacy

Conflict

Seven had to die for it

Subtext

they are the most human we have met in this film

Hope

there will be a new story

Fear

lo will get disappointed and bitter like the other robot.

INT. INVENTOR’S HOUSE – MORNING

Lo puts on the wings and steps out of the window.

Scene Arc

from mourning to Lo getting the wings

Essence

She became herself

Conflict

She is alone now

Subtext

It takes everything she’s got

Hope

She will change the world

Fear

She will get vengeful. (she should find another message from inventor to avoid that)

[Susan Arnout Smith]

4, Lesson 9, Scene Requirements

ESME COOPER AND THE PROPHESY OF DOOM

VISION: I easily create powerful produced works that bring me financial abundance and professional respect as they heal the world, while providing me time to explore that world in comfort with my family.

WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT: Oh. Wow. This assignment is one of the main reasons I took this class. Getting mastery over an outline for me has been a challenge I’ve wrestled with for decades. I am committed to changed my practices until writing outlines this way become simply second nature. For now, I am joyous that I have finished this assignment–imperfectly–yep, but I’m wrestling that one to the ground, too.

High Concept: A young girl is spirited off planet after an ancient prophesy reveals she will cause the destruction of her world, not knowing that her being off-planet is what creates her world’s end.

ACT I

EXT. HARSH TERRAIN – DAY

Scene Arc: The crone guards the prophesy; the Queen steals it.

Essence: The Queen savagely kills a crone to get an ancient prophesy.

Conflict: Fight to the death.

Subtext: The prophesy gives its owner power.

Hope/fear: We hope whoever the protag is she’ll be okay. Fear: We fear the prophesy will harm her.

EXT. CANTORIA, BEHIND THE COMPOUND – DAY

Scene Arc: 12-year old Halfling Esme whales other girl; they’re separated by Ilya, Esme’s mother.

Essence: Esme is attacked for being different and defends herself.

Conflict: Two girls fighting. Emotionally, Esme is fighting because Gisselda hit her tender spot, that she hasn’t inherited her mother’s power.

Subtext: Esme’s worst enemy is using her worst fear against her.

Hope/fear: We hope Esme inherits her mother’s powers. We fear she won’t.

EXT. GISSELDA’S HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: ‘Apology’ flowers to hive reaction.

Essence: Esme is not apologizing, not backing down. Gisselda’s mother raises threats.

Conflict: Severe unexpected reaction to ‘gift’.

Subtext: The High Priestess line is based on magic; Esme might not have it. Prove it.

Hope/Fear: We hope Esme will inherit her mother’s powers. We fear she won’t.

INT. QUEEN’S BUTCHER SHOP – DAY

Scene Arc: Queens chooses a victim; Croom, her evil sidekick, eviscerates her.

Essence: Reinforces Queen’s evil. She has a ‘plan’ for the body.

Conflict: Peasant begs for her life; she dies.

Subtext: Queen’s evil act ties into obtaining.

Hope/Fear: We hope the mutilated dead woman is not used for evil. Fear: We fear that’s exactly what the Queen has in mind.

EXT. BRIDGE, GUARD GATE – DAY

Scene Arc: A peasant with a cart and ‘broken woman’ is allowed inside Cantoria.

Essence: Croom tricks the Cantorian guards into letting him through to Cantoria.

Conflict: The guards are ‘on guard’; something about Croom, and the ‘unconscious’ woman, are ‘off’.

Subtext: Croom is disguised as a peasant; gutted dead woman is disguised to look comatose.

Hope/Fear: We hope Croom will be found out before something happens. Fear: We fear that ship has already sailed.

EXT. PROTECTED PLAY AREA

Scene Arc: Esme babysits little kids as punishment; palms off her ‘job’ to Bodhi, her best friend.

Essence: The Binder women prep for a soul fragment retrieval, using the dead woman in the cart.

Conflict: Esme needs Bodhi to tend kids. Bodhi doesn’t want to risk his job; he’s a Bender in training, (part of the Cantorian guard.)

Subtext: Bodhi is far more attached to Esme than she is to him, and, she’s willing to use him to get what she wants.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope the ‘dead woman’ allowed inside the gates won’t prove to be a threat. Fear: We fear it will be.

EXT. BINDER TENT – DUSK

Scene Arc: Esme scouts out the Binder tent and slips inside.

INT. BINDER TENT – CONTINUOUS

Scene Arc: Esme witnesses and then becomes part of a soul fragment retrieval.

Essence: Esme attaches herself to her mother and is lifted skyward.

Conflict: Esme violates an ancient ceremony, is conflicted, but does it anyway.

Subtext: Dark magic is inside the tent with the peasant woman’s body.

Hope/Fear: We hope the strange eviscerated peasant with a crater in her chest is not evil; we fear she is.

EXT. SKY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Esme attacked by a monster; Esme rescued by her mother and returned to the tent. Essence: Esme puts herself and her mother at risk.

Conflict: Monster attacks; Ilya (Esme’s mother) disables creature and saves her

Subtext: Esme doesn’t have her mother’s power; she can’t see the soul fragment

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope Esme hasn’t caused her mother harm. Fear: We fear she has.

INT. TENT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: From crashing into the safety of the tent to the prophesy delivered.

Essence: Ilya performs the soul fragment binding on the peasant woman, who morphs into a silvery molten creature who delivers the prophesy: the island paradise kingdom of Cantoria will be destroyed…at the hands of a child: Esme!

Conflict: Terrifying prophesy. Then the creature attacks Binders to kidnap Esme. She’s stopped.

Subtext: Cantoria is vulnerable to attack and ruin—and Esme started this mess!

Hope/Fear: Hope: Esme will not be captured; Fear; the island will never be safe.

ACT II

EXT.INT. TENT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Creature attacks; creature killed, Esme protected.

Essence: Esme and her family have put Cantoria in danger. Fearful people do fearsome things. Conflict: Savage fight with acid by creature trying to kidnap Esme; Binders (joined by the

Subtext: The survival of the entire island is on the shoulders of a child.

Hope/Fear: Esme will stay free and Cantoria alive/Fear: The community will die.

EXT. BINDER INTERIOR COURTYARD – LATE DAY

Scene Arc: The Binder Tribunal meets and decides Esme’s fate: she’s banished from the Binder compound and stripped of her succession rights.

Essence: Former allies become untrustworthy.

Conflict: The community votes to kill her to save the kingdom. Ilya fights for her daughter.

Subtext: There are the Queen and her enemies outside, and now enemies inside Cantoria.

Hope/Fear: Esme hopes for the best. Fear: She fears the worst, and barely escapes it.

INT. ESME AND BRINN’S SLEEPING QUARTERS – LATE DAY

Scene Arc: Esme packs quickly, leaves with Bodhi for the hazardous journey to her dad’s.

Essence: Esme’s life isn’t safe anymore in the Binder compound.

Conflict: Esme experiences emotional tumult.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope her family reunites. Fear: We fear they won’t.

INT. PALACE GREATROOM, KINGDOM OF MALDORIA – NIGHT

Scene Arc: The Queen rages when her plan to kidnap Esme fails; punitive punishment, then on to Plan B.

Essence: Croom is saved from death by his report that Cantoria is turning against Esme and can be talked into siding with the Queen.

Conflict: The Queen rages at the failure to capture Esme; gloats that Cantoria is turning.

Subtext: Power is her opiate. With Cantoria’s aid, capturing Esme is in reach.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope Esme makes it to her dad’s safely; Fear: We fear she won’t.

EXT. BINDER COMPOUND – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Bodhi and Esme encounter Cantorians wanting to kill them; they arrive at her dad’s. Essence: It’s started: fear has turned some of her community against her.

Conflict: People who were ‘safe’ and friends of hers, she and Bodhi now must fight.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope they get away. Fear: We fear she’ll be caught and killed.

EXT./INT. OUTLIER QUARTERS, JOHN’S LAB – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Fighting to safely inside her dad’s compound.

Essence: Her dad is not just a nerdy inventor. He can fight ruthlessly. Who is he, really?

Conflict: Fierce firefight.

Subtext: The Outliers are actually fighting because John, her dad, is their powerful leader. Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope Esme is safe. Fear: We wonder about her dad.

INT. PALACE QUEEN’S GREAT HALL – SAME NIGHT

Scene Arc: Update on firefight, Esme’s whereabouts, new plan to attack to corralling dissenters.

Essence: Cantorians seduced. Queen is not the threat. Esme and her family are.

Conflict: Group of Cantorians there to protest. Queen ‘contains’ them until Esme caught.

Subtext: Cantorians are split, which makes their country vulnerable.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope the Cantorians come to their senses. Fear: We fear they won’t.

INT. JOHN’S PRACTICE GYM – DAY

Scene Arc: John works with Esme and Bodhi on defense, he’ll reveal gradually who he is.

Essence: Esme discovers she doesn’t know her dad; her Mom’s version is only partially true.

Conflict: We hope learning defense will save her. Fear: We fear the Queen will win.

MONTAGE OF LEARNING HOW TO KILL/LEARNING ABOUT HER DAD

(The montage shows Esme/Bodhi increasing their fighting skills and Esme learning that on Earth her dad was something called a Navy Seal. He was also known across the Earth-globe as a brilliant physicist working on contact between Earth and other galaxies…who one day…vanishes, (when he leaves Earth with Ilya and comes to Cantoria….lots to unpack…other versions.)

INT. BINDER COMPOUND – DAY

Scene Arc: Ilya, the High Priestess and Esme’s mother, packs, runs with Brinn to safety.

Essence: Things are heating up. More people they trusted betray them.

Conflict: Brinn has wandered off. Ilya must find her before they can run. And fast.

Subtext: Brinn is in as much danger as Esme, as she’s the High Priestess next in line now.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope Brinn is found unharmed. Fear: We fear for the little one.

EXT. OUTLIER COMPOUND – DAY

Scene Arc: Esme and Bodhi find and rescue Brinn. Esme’s family escapes into space. Pursued.

Essence: This is the end of their life on Cantoria. New dangers face them.

Conflict: Time versus death. The mob is closing in. Their ship is pursued.

Subtext: Bodhi sacrifices himself so she can escape.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope their new life is safe. Fear: We fear it’s not.

ACT III

EXT. SPACE/INT. SPACESHIP – ENDLESS NIGHT

Scene Arc: Endless time in space, punctuated by fighting enemies.

Essence: Threats escalate; Esme given protection of cloak of forgetfulness.

Conflict: Esme is emotionally frayed; wants to remember. Fights with enemies.

Subtext: They will be runners forever…and then they will be captured…and then they will die.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope they escape. Fear: We fear they can’t outrun Death.

INT. QUEEN’S PALACE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: The Queen tracks the ship…and loses it when a tracker is sheared off.

Essence: The Queen needs Esme alive, tortures Esme’s Nurse to find out where they’re headed.

Conflict: The Nurse holds out, then the information is squeezed out of her as she dies. Her dad, John, is from a place called Earth.

Subtext: The Queen must get Esme back onto Cantoria before the prophesy can be fulfilled.

Hope/Fear. Hope: We hope the Queen won’t find her. Fear: We fear the Queen will.

INT. QUEEN’S ANTEROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Readies ship. Queen creates copy as Queen to stay, an avatar to follow Esme.

Essence: Queen pivots, pushes on. Creates a stunningly beautiful young avatar, Mary.

Conflict: Pushes tech team past limits to create a ship that will get her there.

Subtext: John is more brilliant than we knew, but the Queen is unstoppable.

Hope/Fear: We hope she won’t find Esme. Fear: We fear she will.

EXT. EARTH (spot to be determined) – DAY

Scene Arc: Family in spaceship, losing control of ship.

Essence: The ship crash lands on Earth.

Conflict: Dad (John), trying to keep the ship stable; slammed out of orbit by bad things.

Subtext: Esme’s on her own, now.

Hope/Fear: Hope: That the family’s all okay. Fear: People are dead.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Esme (now Rose) assailed by media. To Mary Fortuna driving them out.

Essence: Esme wakes up with amnesia. Names herself ‘Rose’. Mary seen as an ally.

Conflict: Media storm versus Mary. ‘Rose’ wants anything Mary can tell her; Mary obliges.

Subtext: Mary wants to control ‘Rose’ by gaining her trust. She’s a Homeless Advocate.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope Esme remembers who she is. Fear: We fear it will place her in danger.

EXT. HOSPITAL GROUNDS – DAY

Scene Arc: Doctors/scientists intent on tests to John’s parents laying claim to her.

Essence: The crash landing of the ship is worldwide news and brings ‘Rose’ help.

Conflict: The scientists insist on keeping her, grandparents allied with Mary get her away.

Subtext: ‘Rose’ is now at even more risk. Mary uses this to gain grandparents’ trust.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s safe. Fear: We fear what Mary’s up to.

EXT. KANSAS FARM FIELD – DAY

Scene Arc: Lands in Kansas to getting settled at her grandparents’ place.

Essence: She hears parents’ origin story, triggering memories, finds spaceship prototype.

Conflict: Wants to stay in safe world; has to save old world by returning.

Subtext: Mary is pretending to be child advocate.

Hope/Fear: We hope Mary doesn’t harm Esme. Fear: We fear she will.

EXT. KANSAS FIELD – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Soul fragments seen, to she readies ship to go.

Essence: ‘Rose’ remembers who she is. Her leaving has caused Cantoria’s ruin; she must return to save it and her people.

Conflict: Grandparents against Esme. They fear she’ll die if she goes back. Mary agrees.

Subtext: Mary pretending she cares about Esme’s wellbeing.

Hope/Fear: Hope: We hope Esme gets away. Fear: We fear she’ll be stopped.

INT. SHED – NIGHT

Scene Arc: From Esme with grandparents to big reveal that her true grandparents are dead.

Essence: Avatar grandparents are assassins.

Conflict: Esme fights against avatars. Ship needs special powers she doesn’t possess.

Subtext: She’s bigger than she knows. She’s had the power all along.

Hope/Fear: Hope. We hope she lifts off in spaceship. Fear. We fear she won’t be able to.

Act IV

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Esme goes from blasting free of shed to getting space-borne.

Essence: As ship bumps along the ground, Mary climbs on board.

Conflict: Fight with grandparents’ avatars. Mary displays hidden power.

Subtext: Mary’s not who Esme thought she was.

Hope/Fear: We hope Mary won’t hurt her. Fear: We fear she will.

EXT. DEEP SPACE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Space vehicle: Esme goes from trusting Mary to doubting her.

Essence: Mary caught in lies; reveals truths about Esme and her family.

Conflict: Deep space is no place to find out your companion is crazy.

Subtext: Mary’s façade slips the closer they get to Cantorian airspace.

Hope/Fear: We hope Esme’s power is strong. Fear: We fear not strong enough.

EXT. CLOSER TO CANTORIAN AIR SPACE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Mary ‘cracks’ apart, Esme handcuffs her inside space ship.

Essence: Queen reveals she is Ilya’s sister. Ilya chose Light. The Queen chose Dark.

Conflict: Esme and the Queen fight.

Subtext: Queen is sending out distress signals to her troops

Hope/Fear: We hope Esme can win. Fear: We fear the Queen is stronger.

EXT. CANTORIAN AIR SPACE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Bodhi’s troops arrive. he’s been corrupted by the Queen.

Essence: Esme’s craft is overrun. From space, she sees sky covered in soul fragments.

Conflict: Bodhi’s troops bring down Esme’s craft.

Subtext: Bodhi is not there to save Esme, but to destroy her.

Hope/Fear: We hope she has a plan. We fear she doesn’t.

EXT. CANTORIA BINDER COMPOUND – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Esme crash lands, Bodhi’s hurt, to she’s rescued by Outliers.

Essence: Cantorians her rescue her and scoop up Bodhi’s body.

Conflict: Dark and Light are fighting.

Subtext: Cantorians on the Dark side are ‘asleep’; Lightworkers are awake.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can restore Bodhi to Light. We fear she can’t.

INT. CRYSTAL TUNNEL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: She’s spirited through a tunnel to safety in the Outlier compound along with Bodhi’s body.

Essence: Esme’s wounded and worn out.

Conflict: Fighting to protect the flank.

Subtext: Dark is more powerful and will win.

Hope/Fear: We hope they make it to the Outlier’s compound. We fear they won’t.

INT. OUTLIER COMPOUND – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Esme is reunited with her family

Essence: Cantoria can be saved now that she’s back, one soul at a time.

Conflict: She’s pressed to go on her first soul fragment retrieval—for Bodhi.

Subtext: Esme is the new High Priestess.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s up to the task. We fear she’ll get killed by the Dark.

EXT. OUTLIER AIRSPACE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Esme finds Bodhi’s soul frag, is pursued, maneuvers away, returns safely.

Essence: Esme now has the power her mother had when she rescued Esme.

Conflict: Queen’s minions after her; they battle.

Subtext: Esme has come into her full power.

Hope/Fear: We hope she gets safely inside with Bodhi’s soul fragment. We fear she won’t.

INT. OUTLIER COMPOUND – NIGHT

Scene Arc: With her mother’s help, Esme reunites Bodhi’s soul fragment that had been torn from his body.

Essence: Esme is a healer now.

Conflict: Exhausting, and so many who remain separated from their soul fragments

Subtext: One small step to healing the island kingdom, but she has to create a new plan.

Hope/Fear: We hope Esme can figure out how to bring back Cantoria, we fear she can’t.

EXT. CANTORIA – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Esme transfers some of her healing power into every healed person, so they in turn can heal.

Essence: The way to restore the island is for each new healer to heal others.

Conflict: Fighting, but the balance is tipping.

Subtext: Every person on Cantoria carries Light and Dark. If they choose Light, they can spread Light.

Hope/Fear: We hope each Cantorian lets Hope win and not Fear.

EXT. CANTORIA – NIGHT

The sky is lighting up like little fireflies as soul fragments are reunited with their bodies and those people, in turn, heal others.

The Queen is defeated. Good wins.

(to be fleshed out later.)

[John Trimbach]

John T’s Scene Requirements

Vision: to become a reliable box office success and entertain audiences all over the place.

What I learned doing this assignment is that using the SEARCH acronym for each scene covers all the scene requirement bases and that copying and pasting from a Final Draft document (as opposed to a word document) directly to the forums eliminates a lot of headaches involved with converting to a pdx.

SEARCH: Subtext, Essence, Arc, Reflective of the pitch/high concept, Conflict, Hope/fear

Note: “SEARCH” items shown <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>after each major scene.

INT. TARA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Phil attends the surprise b-day for his adopted niece, Megan, who lives down the street with her mother, Tara. Pilots Drew and Chet and Flight Attendants Rhonda, Louise, Delilah and Georgia celebrate Megans’s new job as a flight attendant, a job Phil helped her get. Megan keeps hugging Phil. She thinks of him as more than just a father figure. The flight attendants note this is kind of weird. Phil is very uncomfortable. Louise is downright jealous.

Subtext – Megan shows a little too much affection.

Essence – A celebration.

Arc – starts out happy then goes a little weird.

Responsive to the pitch/high concept: Twisted beginning of the story to a twisted end.

Conflict – Louise doesn’t like what Megan is doing.

Hope/fear – not so much.

INT. BLUE NEST DINER – NIGHT

Phil sit in a cozy restaurant booth having an attentive conversation with someone sitting across. But there’s no one there! A waitress thinks he’s crazy.

Subtext – something is wrong with Phil

Essence – he does not appear normal.

Arc – familiar behavior to psycho.

Responsive to the pitch/high concept – yes, presents Phil as the target.

Conflict – Waitress freaks out.

Hope/fear – Normal to weird.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Phil visits his wife’s grave, still mourning her death from two years earlier.

INT. PHIL’S HOUSE – DAY

Phil attends to his rare coin collection, suddenly becomes perturbed. Sits alone in his living room, brooding, talking to himself.

Subtext – Phil capable of violence?

Essence – he’s volatile.

Arc – normal behavior to abnormal.

Responsive to the pitch/high concept – yes, presents Phil as a possible loony.

Conflict – implodes over seemingly nothing.

Hope/fear – calm to upset.

INT. SKYZA LIMITS AIRLINES – AIRCRAFT – DAY

Capt. Phil shows up late for his flight. His co-pilot covers for him, concerned about Phil’s demeanor. Rhonda, Louise and Georgia talk about Phil not being the same since his wife’s death.

Louise witnesses a couple on the flight arguing and she gets emotional. Phil is nice to Louise – she seems like a fragile female in need of TLC though he treats her like a guy, a sort of bromance.

Subtext – Phil relates to Louise on some level.

Essence – What is he triggering on, both good and bad?

Arc – from normal behavior to strange.

Responsive to the pitch/high concept – yes, something going on between Phil and Louise.

Conflict – Louise appears fragile when faced with conflict – Phil to the rescue.

Hope/fear – Phil calms Louise down.

INT. LAYOVER CITY – AIRPORT HOTEL BAR – NIGHT

Phil meets the flight attendants for drinks. Louise makes a pass at him. Phil declines, leaves early. Louise feels spurned, draws a sad face on the restroom mirror with her lipstick.

Subtext – Louise is getting too close to Phil – he’s uncomfortable.

Essence – We see where Phil stands with women, at least Louise.

Arc – Phil establishes his future with Louise.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, goes with the major story arc – Louise as one of the guys.

Conflict – Louise overreacts, we see the potential for conflict and violence.

Hope/fear – Happy to sad, out of place to more out of place.

EXT. LAYOVER CITY STREET ALLEYWAY – NIGHT

An unseen man sees a pair of hoodlums assaulting a hooker who is propositioning a girl. The man takes them on, one of them with a knife. The man disarms him, stabs the other. They run away but not before one of them picks up his wallet. This guy knows martial arts and knife tactics. And then we see his face – it’s Phil!

Subtext – Secret guy is Phil who knows all about knife tactics!

Essence – we suspect Phil is the killer.

Arc – from knife victim to meting out knife punishment.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil as killer.

Conflict – deadly slashing going on.

Hope/fear – Phil could get slashed like his wife but he gets the upper hand.

INT. PHIL’S KITCHEN – DAY

Phil burns his souffle, can’t cook like his wife, throws the dish in the sink.

INT. SKYZA LIMIT FLIGHT 45 – DAY

Megan on her first flight after training. She’s giddy and outgoing, noticed by a strange man who stares at her with a wicked smile after she makes a joke.

Subtext – Megan’s flirting could get her in trouble.

Essence – Megan attracts trouble.

Arc – from giddy to “getty.”

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, future murder victim.

Conflict -the guy’s creepy.

Hope/fear – Megan’s smile fades when seeing this guy’s menacing look and his continual stare. The job is suddenly not fun anymore.

EXT. LAYOVER CITY – NIGHT

Megan meets a guy at a bar. His wife calls, so he leaves quickly. Megan walks back alone to the layover hotel. A masked man jumps her, stabs her. Phil finds her body, steps in her blood. Notices a man watching, chases after him, loses him. [Later, we learn that it’s the guy who has Phil’s wallet.] Phil hears the sirens, hurries away. Did he kill Megan?

Subtext – Guy cheating on his wife puts Megan in harm’s way. Phil does’t know the man watching him is the same dirtball who attacked him.

Essence – Megan’s karma ends in her demise.

Arc – Megan having a good time to getting stabbed to death.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, she dies.

Conflict – murder

Hope/fear – Megan is full of hope, then fears for her life.

EXT. ALLEYWAY – NIGHT

Police detective finds Megan’s out of state wallet, so he contacts the FBI.

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Agent Ben answers the phone.

INT. TARA’S HOUSE – DAY

At the wake, open casket, Phil promises Tara he won’t rest until he finds the killer. Tara has a surprise guest at the wake – Agent Ben who’s full of questions for Phil. Phil acts somewhat suspicious, answers evasively.

Subtext – Is Phil hiding something?

Essence – Phil as a suspect.

Arc – from innocent to possibly guilty.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil might be the killer.

Conflict – It’s obvious they don’t like each other.

Hope/fear – Phil goes from appearing cooperative to evasive. Ben goes from being merely inquisitive to suspicious.

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Agent Ben gets chewed out by the ASAC in front of the SAC for failing to follow through on a different case. Ben is relieved when the SAC puts him on the Megan murder case – it’s his big chance to prove himself. Ben is frequently humiliated by the ASAC who hints that Ben has big shoes to fill. Harangues him about his subpar shooting score and his need to lose weight. Ben murmurs, “bitch” just loud enough for the ASAC to hear. The SAC doesn’t hear it. ASAC threatens Ben in front of the SAC.

Subtext – They appear to resent each other.

Essence – Ben gets along with the SAC who appears to protect him from the ASAC.

Arc – Ben goes from being in the dog house to even worse with his immediate boss.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – Ben as the underdog who must outwit Phil.

Conflict – Resentment between Ben and the ASAC.

Hope/fear – Ben makes things worse for himself, or so it appears.

EXT. FBI SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

Ben misses a lot…

INT. TRAINING FACILITY – DAY

…but he’s good at hand-to-hand tactics.

Another agent remind Ben that he has big shoes to fill under the shadow of his father’s legacy.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY – FLASHBACK

A boy abused by his father, made to dress up in women’s clothing.

Subtext – who is the boy? Is it Ben?

Essence – abuse probably led to psychotic behavior on the part of somebody.

Arc – looks innocent enough until we see that it’s a boy with long hair being made to dress up like a girl.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – definitely

Conflict – loads.

Hope/fear – bad to worse for the unfortunate lad.

EXT. PHIL’S DRIVEWAY – DAY

Phil works under his car. The Banger who stole his wallet tries to kick the jack out. Phil gets out from underneath just in time, gives chase, loses him.

Subtext – Phil doesn’t know it’s the same guy who stole his wallet, wants to get even for his buddy’s death.

Essence – Phil almost gets killed, loses the guy. But gives Phil reason to respond violently. He is capable of killing.

Arc – Danger gets worse.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes Phil as retaliatory, possibly as a murderer.

Conflict – yes

Hope/fear – Phil almost gets crushed to death, escapes, then loses the guy.

INT. PHIL’S HOUSE – DAY

Ben interviews Phil. Ben has a lot of questions, seems to doubt Phil’s story. Phil clams up.

Subtext – What is Phil hiding?

Essence – Phil doesn’t like Ben’s insinuations.

Arc – from friendly questions to probing.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – Yes, is Ben right about Phil?

Conflict – personal animosity.

Hope/fear – Phil initially wins then loses the argument.

INT. CHIEF PILOT’S OFFICE – DAY

The chief pilot observes how despondent Phil is, gives him some time off.

INT. PHIL’S BASEMENT – DAY

Phil practices knife tactics.

EXT. DARK CITY STREET – NIGHT – FLASHBACK NIGHTMARE

Phil relives the night he lost his wife. Feels guilty because he was unable to defend her against a deadly knife attack. She died trying to save Phil.

INT. SHRINK’S OFFICE – DAY

Phil counseled by his shrink. She agrees to not report him to his employer, Skyza Airlines for having emotional problems. They make progress on Phil’s grief. She encourages him to engage in different activities to take his mind off his wife’s murder, and to be open to new relationships.

Subtext – Shrink helps Phil conceal his mental state from his employer.

Essence – Phil trusts and likes her.

Arc – Shrink encourages Phil with ways to deal with his trauma, seems to help.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil could be mentally disturbed beyond what is functional. Should he even be flying airplanes?

Conflict – Dr. wants to report Phil but he talks her out of it.

Hope/fear – Phil suggests they could date. She shuts him down.

Act 2

INT. COCKPIT – DAY

Phil goes back to work on his regular flight route. He’ hot and cold – scolds his co-pilot for making a routing error one moment, the next he’s pleasant to his regular crew of flight attendants, Rhonda, Delilah, and Georgia.

Subtext – Phil lashes out unexpectedly.

Essence – Is there something wrong with him?

Arc – FA’s calm him down.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil as volatile.

Conflict – Between captain and co-pilot.

Hope/fear – Phil appears to get through without difficulty but then explodes at his co-pilot. Should he be on the job?

INT. LAYOVER HOTEL BAR – NIGHT

FA’s Rhonda, Delilah, and Georgia try to cheer Phil up. Louise tells the FA’s how much she would like to have a relationship with him. They laugh at her. Phil has had too much to drink, embarrasses Delilah.

Louise gets hit on by another woman. Louise rebuffs her.

Phil gravitates to a woman in a business suit, has a drink with her. Louise appears jealous, downs several drinks watching them. [The lady is Phil’s therapist’s sister.]

Louise tells everyone her bladder is about to burst, runs to the bathroom, tells everyone that when she pees, it sounds like Niagara Falls. In fact, she does.

Subtext – a lot of hidden agendas.

Essence – Phil not attracted to Louise but is to the woman.

Arc – Louise loses out, and loses it, wishes she was a guy, life would be a lot easier.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, is Louise okay with her sexuality?

Conflict – Louise shows a different side of her, almost menacing.

Hope/fear – Louise goes from being hopeful with Phil to being dissed by him – this sets her off.

INT. LADIES ROOM – NIGHT

Behind the stall door, Louise stands on the toilet seat, sounds like a guy peeing.

INT. MARTIAL ARTS SCHOOL – DAY

Phil, already a brown belt, takes an advanced course in assault tactics using knives.

INT. DINER – NIGHT

Phil dines alone, has a conversation… again with no one.

INT. PHIL’S SHRINK’S OFFICE – DAY

Phil confides in his psychiatrist about his outbursts. She suggests that he try being friendly and open to new relationships. He confides that his wife was insanely jealous of other women.

Subtext – Phil reveals his secret knife fight.

Essence – Phil trusts and becomes more emotionally attached to Dr. Grayson. She kind of likes him, too.

Arc – Relationship deepens, perhaps beyond what is professional.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil’s evolving.

Conflict – She pushes back against his overtures.

Hope/fear – Phil’s hopeful she will respond but she dashes his hopes.

INT. HOTEL NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Phil meets a flight attendant from another airline, buys her a drink. They compare room keys – they’re staying on the same floor. She leaves with friends for dinner.

Subtext – Phil is attracted to her. And she knows it. Louise is spying on him.

Essence – Phil is taking his shrink’s advice not knowing this is pissing off Louise.

Arc – Phil doesn’t mind getting a gentle brush off. He’s almost relieved.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil as somebody with the wherewithal to meet women and gain their confidence.

Conflict – minimal, maybe her boyfriend shows up.

Hope/fear – Phil has high hopes but loses his edge, confidence. Louise goes from fearful to hopeful.

EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT

Phil goes for a walk.

INT. HOTEL – NIGHT

Phil walks down the hall to his room, stops, sees a door ajar. He touches the door knob. His hand has blood on it. Was the blood already on his hand?

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY – NIGHT

Phil stands over the body of the same FA he had a drink with. Murdered the same way as Megan was stabbed. Phil picks up, drops the murder weapon, a knife. Runs to his room to wash the blood off.

Subtext – who killed her and why?

Essence – another murder involving Phil! Is he guilty? Did he black out?

Arc – Phil implicated once again.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil as guilty/innocent.

Conflict – the aftermath of a gruesome death.

Hope/fear – Phil at least acts shocked, traumatized, but recovers quickly, runs to his room.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY – NIGHT

Phil is questioned by police, as an anonymous witness/guest at the hotel. Phil leaves just before Ben arrives.

INT. AIRPORT – DAY

End of his trip, Phil is met by FBI agent Ben – now considers him a suspect. Ben tells Phil that the thug he chased after Megan’s murder was caught and released. He is angered by this.

Subtext – Ben has more evidence of Phil’s possible guilt but doesn’t let on.

Essence – tension building between these two.

Arc – from cordial to uncooperative, to caustic.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, lawman pursues suspect but is he guilty?

Conflict – animosity builds, especially after Phil’s attacker was let out.

Hope/fear – Phil goes from hoping he can convince Ben of his innocence to being fearful he will charge him with murder.

INT. PHIL’S HOUSE – OFFICE – NIGHT

Phil makes a file analyzing the two murders with photos, newspaper clippings and printouts. Opens his locked closet – full of maps and strings. Is he tracking or planning?

Phil talks to himself as if verbally jousting with Ben. He suspects that Agent Ben is tapping his phone, misinterpreting his answers and cooking up evidence to link him.

Subtext – Phil’s secret file and map room – what’ it’s purpose?

Essence – Phil has reason to believe his privacy and his rights are being violated. How will he retaliate?

Arc – Phil goes from acting innocent to acting possibly guilty.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, if Phil is the killer, it all makes sense, or does it?

Conflict – stakes are raised.

Hope/fear – Phil must prove/concoct his innocence before Ben puts him behind bars.

INT. LOUISE’S APARTMENT – DAY

Shaken by the killings, Phil seeks the comfort of Louise and her friend, Tammy before he leaves on his next flight. Tammy is taken up with Phil, talks about hooking up with him. Louise scowls at the idea.

Subtext – Tammy has a crush on Phil when she finds out he’s available.

Essence – Louise’s jealousy creeps up again.

Arc – Louise goes from being concerned to outraged.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – Louise as unhinged.

Conflict – Louise tries to hide her anger from Tammy. Phil is hers!

Hope/fear – Louise is fearful Tammy won’t let go of the idea of hitting on Phil.

Phil leaves.

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Ben wants to charge Phil but the ASAC tells him to stick to the evidence. She forbids Ben from seeking a search warrant or interfering with Phil’s flying, tells him to back off, stick to his primary investigation of embezzlement by a government employee.

Subtext – Ben is secretly working a corruption case against the SAC, with the ASAC’s supervision.

Essence – Make it appear Ben and the ASAC are on bad terms.

Arc – from professional to personal to confidential.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, the idea of hidden agendas.

Conflict – Phil vs the ASAC.

Hope/fear – Ben hopes he can nail Phil but the ASAC appears to put the kibosh on it. She knew Phil’s wife and how jealous she was when Phil was around other women, like flight attendants.

INT. PHIL’S HOUSE – DAY

Ben comes snooping around Phil’s house. Phil remotely turns on his car’s motor. Ben hears this, waits, as Phil slips out the back.

INT. LOUISE – DAY

Phil stays at Louise’s place. She’s quite happy to let him. She primps a lot, rubs his back.

Subtext – Louise can’t hide her attraction to Phil.

Essence – Phil knows he’s taking advantage of Louise’s weakness.

Arc – Phil uses Louise to hide from Ben.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil on the run so to speak.

Conflict – Phil is not interested in sleeping with Louise. She takes rejection hard.

Hope/fear – Louise goes from hopeful to sorrowful, to hopeful.

INT. PHIL’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Louise secretly packs Phil’s things for another trip.

INT. PHIL’S HOUSE – DAY

Ben breaks the rules and searches Phil’s house with his partner, Ned. They find Phil’s file and secret closet full of details of the murders. Ben is compelled not to use it but Ned says he’s crazy not to.

Subtext – Will Ben use illegal evidence or abide by the law?

Essence – Ben puts himself in a quandary.

Arc – Ben goes from being stealthy to feeling guilty.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – Ben as Phil’s worthy adversary.

Conflict – Ben argues with Ned about using the evidence. Ned tries to convince Ben so as to honor his father’s legacy.

Hope/fear – Ben goes back and forth on using the file, as his virtue meter cycles up and down. Do we want him to succeed?

INT. AIRPLANE CABIN – DAY

Some of the usual flight attendants arrive early and greet passengers. The FO is late. Phil parks his bags and heads back up the jetway to retrieve paperwork. Delilah steps into the cockpit and sees Phil’s cell phone, rifles through photos of the murder victims. Sends them to a friend.

Subtext – Delilah looks at Phil’s phone, wants to get even with him for embarrassing her.

Essence – Phil’s photos are about to go public. Delilah shares them on social media, further incriminating him.

Arc – Word gets back to Ben – now he can use the photographic evidence. Phil doesn’t know it but he’s a wanted man.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, Phil as guilty one.

Conflict – Phil vs. the law and the airline and Delilah.

Hope/fear – Delilah almost gets caught looking through Phil’s cell phone while she airdrops the murder photos.

INT. LAYOVER HOTEL BAR – NIGHT

Louise tries to get intimate with Phil once again, attempting to extract sexual favors from him in return for her help. Phil deflects her advances. Louise remains undeterred.

Subtext – How far will Louise go?

Essence – Phil has to stop leading Louise on.

Arc – Louise goes from hopeful to discouraged to depressed.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – Phil and now Louise as unstable.

Conflict – Phil must get tough about Louise’s obesession.

Hope/fear – – Phil tries to be as nice as he can but it’s not working.

INT. HOTEL SPA AND WELLNESS CENTER – DAY

In the sauna, Phil meditates into Delta brain waves and remote viewing. He’s shocked he can see things that may happen in the future, just as his shrink said was possible.

EXT. DARK CITY STREET – NIGHT – PHIL’S VISION

A hazy scene where a tall figure in black hooded drench coat shadows a young woman, following her. A fleeting view of a scorpion tattoo. Is this the next murder?

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Ben is on the phone with Delilah who tells him about the photos and where he can find Phil that evening.

INT. FBI SAC’S OFFICE – DAY

Ben shows unusual interest in the SAC’s financial statements on his desk while he waits for him to get off the phone. Ben says he knows he’s going over the ASAC’s head, but he has proof of Phil’s guilt provided by “an informant.” SAC gives Ben permission to fly to Phil’s layover city to arrest him.

Subtext – Ben is secretly investigating his boss, the SAC.

Essence – Ben nevertheless wants to arrest Phil on suspicion of murder.

Arc – Ben goes from beseeching to satisfied, on more than one level.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – Ben can now pursue his man, and Phil.

Conflict – The SAC reminds Phil of his poor relationship with the ASAC. Ben plays along, make up a story about how she didn’t like his father.

Hope/fear – Ben goes from hopeful to elated. He might even make an arrest.

INT. PHIL’S CAR – MOVING – DAY

Phil’s getting strong vibes that something bad is going to happen tonight at the Sunflower Hotel. Just then he gets a text from Tammy’s phone to meet him there in room 767. He tries to call her back to warn her that she might be in danger. No answer.

Subtext – Phil must find out if Tammy is in danger. He must go to her immediately.

Essence – tension mounts

Arc – from bad to worse – he can’t contact Tammy.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, escalation as per the thriller genre.

Conflict – anticipitory.

Hope/fear – he’s got a text, but then can’t contact her.

INT. AIRPORT – DAY

Ben hurriedly boards an airplane. Wonders if Phil is the captain… on his way to commit another murder.

INT. LAYOVER CITY AIRPORT – NIGHT

Ben runs through the airport to meet his ride. He gets winded easily. Uses his inhaler.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Flashback: An unidentified boy is abused by his father, made to pose for pictures dressed up like a girl. Is it Ben? Phil? The serial killer?

INT. SUNFLOWER HOTEL – NIGHT

Phil cases the joint, runs into Louise. She tells him that Tammy called her for help. Louise hides her surprise that Phil is there.

Phil asks Louise if she knows where Tammy is. Louise says no. Phil is worried that something bad will happen to her soon. Louise tries desperately to stop Phil from leaving her in the lobby. Phil heads for the elevator.

Subtext – Louise is lying.

Essence – Phil must react quickly to save Tammy.

Arc – impending climax

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes

Conflict – impending violence

Hope/fear – find Tammy

INT. SUNFLOWER HOTEL – NIGHT

Ben spots Phil heading for the elevator – just misses him.

INT. SUNFLOWER HOTEL – SEVENTH FLOOR – NIGHT

Phil runs to room 767, pounds on the door. He hears muffled screams.

INT. TAMMY’S HOTEL ROOM 767 – NIGHT

He bashes in the door and finds Tammy, bloodied, gagged and tied to the bed posts. Her wrists are slit. Phil runs to her, starts to untie her.

Ben arrives, pulls a gun on Phil. Tammy screams when she sees Louise behind Ben. Louise stabs Ben in the back. The gun goes off, hitting Phil in the shoulder. Ben goes down, unconscious. Phil collapses too.

Louise talks crazy to Phil – now they can finally be together – just need to get rid of Tammy. Phil tries to talk her out of it, tells Louise that she needs help. Louise laughs it off. She moves closer to Tammy, knife in hand. Ben revives, shoots, hits the glass door, fires again at Louise, grazes her. Phil pounces on Louise. They both struggle for the knife. They go crashing through the shattered glass door to the balcony, and over the edge. Phil hangs on to the railing, Louise hanging on to Phil, losing her wig – she is a he!

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT – FLASHBACK

An unidentified boy is abused by his father, made to pose for pictures dressed up like a girl.

BACK TO SCENE

Lewis explains that in order for them to be together, they have to get rid of witnesses. Phil smacks Lewis to the ground and begins to untie Tammy. Lewis attacks with a knife. This time, Phil knows what to do.

Phil uses his learned knife skills, ones that he would never be defenseless as when his wife was stabbed to death.

Lewi’s dress falls, revealing that Lewis wears BVD’s, and has a package. Phil spots the scorpion tattoo behind Louise’s ear.

Lewis wields a knife close to Phil’s throat. Phil tries to disarm Lewis. Ben intervenes to save Phil. Lewis shoots Ben again.

Phil musters all his energy, charges Lewis . They both go over the edge. Phil lands on the lower floor balcony, hanging on for dear life. Same for Lewis – he tells Phil he killed the girls so they could be together. Phil must either save himself or risk his life saving Lewis. Lewis grabs his arm. Phil uses a newly learned knife move, stabs Lewis’ hand, kicks him off the rail. Lewis falls to his death.

Essence – Killer about to be revealed.

Arc – Will Tammy be the next victim?

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes

Conflict – yes, fight to the death.

Hope/fear – will the good guys win?

Resolution

– we now see the boy forced to dress up like a girl that we thought was Phil or Ben was really Lewis.

INT. HOSPITAL – BEN’S ROOM – DAY

Ben is being discharged, has an important meeting at the office. Phil reminds him he’s a lousy shot.

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Ben is credited with solving the crime and saving Phil’s life. Was really investigating the SAC for embezzlement (with the help of the ASAC), wears a vest (one reason he looks overweight) when shot by Louise.

(but as a ruse to

fool the corrupt SAC whom Ben is investigating).

R9: Ben arrests his boss.

R20: Ben reads him his rights.

ASAC secretly dating Ben’s informant, the SAC’s secretary

Ben gets promoted.

P5: Phil was compiling a file to catch the killer.

S7: Phil’s shrink helps him so he doesn’t need her anymore. She suggests a dinner date. He says no.

R18: Doorbell rings – it’s his date – her.

P14. Phil visits his wife’s grave says goodbye to her. R17: Phil perfects his souffle.

R1: He’s not insane – talking with his wife was the technique his shrink advised him to use while grieving.

Phil dines in the same restaurant as before, having a conversation – his dead wife? R7: No, with his recovered therapist. He now says yes.

Ben gets promoted., rewards Phil for his bravery. Phil has learned to appreciate life. Ready for a new relationship.

Subtext – hidden agendas revealed: Ben – capable, Phil – not crazy, Lewis – really a man

Essence – resolution

Arc – tieing lose ends and closing payoffs.

Reflective of the pitch/high concept – yes, completes the storyline

Conflict – dissolved

Hope/fear – Phil gets the girl he wants after all.