Day 9 Assignments

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Lynn Vincentnathan Scene Requirements

VISION: I am determined to become a great screenwriter capable of getting my screenplays in various genres produced into movies that inspire vast audiences to mitigate climate change.

I LEARNED that although I’d already been thinking in terms of scenes due to the “action track” assignment, there was a lot more work, and that having to come up with conflict made me realize I has scenes without much conflict. I still need to beef that up. The Hope/Fear part reminded me of Save the Cat’s idea of having a +/- or -/+ for each scene. Also although I had 40 beats, I need to ad more “bridge” scenes for logical flow.

HIGH CONCEPT: WEATHERING IT (Rom-Com) is about two college students who try to overcome family fights about global warming and get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.

==================================================================

Scene Arc: From Ellie being unattached to being slightly reeled in by Jim.

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS WALKWAYS – DAY

ELLIE FERRIS (20) and LUZ (19) are putting up posters for the Sea Turtle Rescue Center trip, despairing about the unusually hot weather and the possibility of getting people to do the eco thing, Ellie says she’s against romantic involvement. She also thinks she won’t be able to arrange the next trip to an off-grid ranch. JIM HIGSON (23) and MACK (22) follow the “babes,” listening in, when they turn and confront the boys. Jim insists he’s interested in the turtle trip (showed a flicker of interest in the off-grid trip), and wants Ellie to present about it to his class; she hesitates then agrees. As the girls leave, Jim says he wants to save that turtle, but Mack warns him she’s complicated and he won’t succeed.

Essence: Girls on a mission to save the earth; boys on a mission to get the babes.

Conflict: Ellie rejects Luz’s suggestion she should date Gecko, then the girls confront the boys for scoping them out.

Subtext: Ellie despairs about global warming and her own future re romance; while Jim is after “the babe.”Hope/fear: Ellie goes from despairing of the future (global/personal) to slight hope (less despair); Jim goes from hoping to catch a babe to more hope in doing so.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Ellie nervously stands in front of the class of only 8 STUDENTS, including JEN (21), finishing her presentation about the turtle trip the Environmental Club, receives anti-environmental flack and freezes in distress; A STUDENT says the freeze several years ago disproves global warming. Jim tries to defend her and receives some flack. Jen remains silent.

Essence: Ellie seems unsuccessful in recruiting students into eco-concern

Conflict: Some students give anti-environmental flack, like who needs turtles, how about some beautiful birds or butterflies. One mentions how the great Texas freeze several years ago disproves global warming, but Ellie is unable to answer and freezes.

Subtext: Ellie’s eco-despair is well-founded

Hope/fear: Ellie and Jim hope to enlist students to disappointment and frustration in that effort.

EXT. PRIVATE NOOK ON CAMPUS – DAY

Jim takes Ellie outside to a private spot and consoles her, gives her a heart-melting smile, then distracts her expressing his interest in the off-grid ranch trip, reveals he has a BS in Engineering with background in Alt Engineering & is working on his MBA. Ellie goes from emotional meltdown and interest in Jim.

Essence: Seems Jim is truly interested in Ellie’s projects… or he’s a great smooth-talker.

Conflict: Ellie is hard to console, but finally comes around.

Subtext: Ellie is now interested in Jim, but is it because he’s into her projects or him?

Hope/fear: Ellies goes from eco-despair to some hope for the future.

EXT. ELY’S OFF-GRID RANCH – DAY

A ranch with weird alt energy contraptions. Ellie has a hard time convincing her cantankerous Great-uncle ELY PEREZ () to allow the club to visit the farm due to the club messing up the place last year. She at last convinces him saying only a few will be visiting (the club had a blow up), including some into alt energy (Jim), then sweet-talks him about how she’ll be moving in with him after college and helping with his projects. As a journalist major she’ll be able to help him write his book and create an off-grid blog, but is not mechanical to help with his contraptions.

Scene Arc: Ellie, unable to convince Ely, finally does by reminding him of her commitment to his projects.

Essence: Ellie wants to save the earth, and so does Ely, but they both seem ineffective.

Conflict: Ely ignoring, resisting Ellie’s plea.

Subtext: Despite all this resistance Ellie loves this cranky old man and his ranch

Hope/fear: fearing she won’t be able to hope that the trip (and her budding relationship with Jim) will be a success.

Scene Arc: from Turtle Center through wandering off down the beach, Jim is focused on Ellie; she finally caves in to passion.

INT/EXT. SEA TURTLE RESCUE CENTER – DAY

Shots of Environmental Club members — Ellie, Luz, JAVI, GECKO and FOUR OTHERS — plus Jim and Jen, plus 7 OTHER VISITORS touring the Sea Turtle Rescue Center. Final scene, A SPEAKER gives a talk in the amphitheater about harms to the turtles. A PERSON gives flack.

Essence: a visit through turtle displays, Jim attentive to Ellie, then a denialist’s objection to global warming.

Conflict: A visitor raises the great Texas freeze when talk of global warming it broached. The speaker deflects by telling how that freeze put 1000s of cold-stunned turtles in danger and they had to call on locals to help save them.

Subtext: The freeze means no global warming, therefore it can’t be harming the turtles. Jim pursues Ellie.

Hope/fear: Jim hopes he’ll get Ellie; fear the endangered turtle will become extinct; fear the global warming denialists will continue to deny.

EXT. BEACH – DAY

During the Club’s beach clean-up Jen thanks Jim for consoling Ellie after class, that she was thinking of doing that. Then she says our pastor is Ellie’s uncle. (You mean Rev. Rudy, who runs The Marriage Barn? Yes). This peaks Jim’s interest. He wonders why they never see Ellie at church. Ellie is a bit put off seeing Jim and Jen together. As the clean-up winds down, Jim sees Gecko collecting shells. He falls in step with him and Jim asks about Gecko’s relationship to Ellie. Then Jim picks up a shell, washes, then pockets it.

Essence: Jim finds out more about Ellie, peaking further interest, and scoping out Ellie’s “other man.”

Conflict: Jim tries to pry info from Gecko as to why he isn’t involved with Ellie, thinking it might be his Apergers; Gecko says no, it’s another reason, but that Ellie is a good friend and has helped him — making Jim wonder.

Subtext: To Jim Ellie looks more and more to be the right woman for him.

Hope/fear: Jim fears Ellie is not into involvement as she said in the opening, but hope of getting together with her increases with Gecko’s input.

EXT. BEACH – NIGHT

As club members and Jen dance wildly around a campfire, Gecko sorts his shells, Ellie sits pensively. Then Jim takes Ellie down the beach and up a hill and they kiss.

Essence: Jim and Ellie get romantically involved; it’s more than just sexual.

Conflict: When Jim gives Ellie the shell and humorously/seriously asks her to “be his shell,” she accepts but makes it clear no involvement.

Subtext: Jim seems to want Ellie’s protection.

Hope/fear: Jim’s hope for a relationship is somewhat lessened when Ellie make clear this doesn’t mean involvement.

INT. THE MARRIAGE BARN – DAY

Ellie is interviewing her uncle, RUDY PEREZ (41), pastor of Iglesia Granero and proprietor of its wedding venue, The Marriage Barn, for the campus newspaper. He asks why she hasn’t been to church since her mother died three years ago, he mentions her father abandoning her, and he also detects she’s in love, but she refuses.

Scene Arc: Ellie is businesslike in interviewing, but becomes emotional when topics about her arise.

Essence: Ellie has lost faith and she refuses to acknowledge feelings she has for Jim.

Conflict: Rudy wonders why Ellie hasn’t been to church; Ellie claims the church is eco-hyprocritical, Rudy arguing back. Rudy detects she’s in love, and when she objects, he brings up how he’s always tried to be the father she never had after her father abandoned her and her mother, but that only rubs salt into the wound.

Subtext: Ellie has a father abandonment wound that underlies her eco-despair and refusal to get involved.

Hope/fear: Ellie goes from positive journalist to being shaken in her beliefs and persona/cover. She fears the truth.

EXT./INT. AROUND CAMPUS/ELLIE’S APARTMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Shots of Ellie avoiding Jim, ending in the Environmental Club meeting scene with of 10 STUDENTS, where she’s president. Jim arrives, interested in the off-grid ranch visit, then lags behind to talk to Ellie privately about why she’s avoiding him.

Scene Arc: Ellie’s avoidance of Jim to how she’s happy to have him as a club member and visit the ranch.

Essence: Ellie tries to avoid involvement with Jim.

Conflict: Jim pursues, Ellie flees.

Subtext: She’s already involved with Jim, but why does she not want it?

Hope/fear: Ellie hopes to maintain her involvement-free life and fears getting involved.

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Jim finds Ellie in the cafeteria and says he wants an exclusive relationship, no other guys. She assures him there are no others, but relationships end in someone getting hurt. They agree on having a “situationship” — no commitment, but they can go around together and drift apart without regrets.

Scene Arc: Jim pursues Ellie, they leave together a “situationship” couple.

Essence: Jim get Ellie, sort of.

Conflict: Ellie resists Jim’s come-on but finally caves.

Subtext: Ellie loves Jim, but she doesn’t want to hurt him.

Hope/fear: Ellie fears a relationship, but is less fearful about a “situationship” with Jim.

INT. ELLIE AND LUZ’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Ellie is cooking dinner for Jim when he receives a call from his mother, GABRIELLA “GABBY” HIGSON (40s), demanding he come home to Houston for summer to work for his Uncle Fred, reminding him of his great obligation to Fred. He hides the “obligation” part from Ellie. Ellie wonders if Jim likes it here; Jim says he loves it, but– His mother calls again to ask if he wants anything from home that she can send through Fred when he comes there next week for a reception.

Scene Arc: Ellie and Jim happy together to worries about future separation.

Essence: Jim has obligations that could split him from Ellie.

Conflict: Ellie worries as Jim argues with his mother about coming to Houston for summer.

Subtext: Ellie and Jim are in a more serious relationship that now seems threatened

Hope/fear: Ellie hopes they can stay together to Ellie fears Jim will drift off.

EXT./INT. ELY’S OFF-GRID RANCH – DAY

Ely and Ellie lead six club members, Jen now a member, and Jim around the alt energy contraptions, including the monolith battery in the silo. Ely explodes when he hears Jim’s last name is Higson; Jim assures him he is not Fred Higson’s son.

Scene Arc: Interesting tour of the ranch to Ely exploding over Jim.

Essence: Jim is enthralled by the ranch, but Ely hates Jim’s Uncle Fred.

Conflict: Ely spars with Jim about Fred Higson.

Subtext: Ellie loves Jim and would like him to join her in working with Ely. Fred has wounded Ely in some way.

Hope/fear: Ellie hopes Jim will take to Ely and his ranch, which Jim does, to fear Ely won’t accept Jim.

INT. UNIVERSITY RECEPTION HALL – NIGHT

Jim is with his uncle, FRED HIGSON (60ish) hobnobbing with college administrators and professors, honoring Fred for his contribution.

Essence: Jim plays Fred’s dutiful nephew in this honoring of Fred.

Conflict: Inuendoes, subtext of Fred upset with Jim, Jim upset with his obligation.

Subtext: Jim is not happy, neither is Fred.

Hope/fear: Jim fears Fred will burst out against him, but Fred isn’t Ely. So far, so good.

INT./EXT. CAR/HOTEL PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Fred bursts out against Jim for staying in college too long, taking nonsense courses like Alt Energy Engineering and Business & the Environment, threatens to cut off his funding.

Essence: Fred expects Jim to get out of college and come work for him in his Petroleum Engineering Consultancy.

Conflict: Fred attacks Jim, Jim meekly spars back with excuses.

Subtext: Fred has the upper hand with Jim.

Hope/fear: Jim fears Fred, and fears him even more with the threat to cut him off.

Scene Arc: Luz suggests Ellie and Jim marry, to Ellie and Jim separately checking out the feasibility.

INT. ELLIE AND LUZ’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Ellie is with Jim watching TV, heavy kissing, when Luz bursts in telling she’s marrying Javi and will be moving out, suggesting Ellie and Jim get married.

Essence: Ellie and Jim are really into each other; Luz interrupts, suggests they marry.

Conflict: Kissing interrupted; Jim explains to Luz they are only in a “situationship.”

Subtext: They want a marital relationship

Hope/fear: Ellie hopes for more with Jim and end up a bit disappointed he denies interest in marriage, fears he’ll drift away from her.

INT. JIM’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Jim’s on the phone Fred if he can help out if he gets married. Fred vehemently opposes it.

Essence: Jim wants to marry Ellie, asks for help.

Conflict: Jim wants financial help to marry; Fred dead set against it.

Subtext: Jim doesn’t have the money to get married.

Hope/fear: Jim hopes Fred will foot the bill, ends up disappointed.

EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH/TACK ROOM – DAY

Ellie searches for Ely and find him in the tack room, broaches the possibility of marrying Jim. Ely is against Jim and marriage in general. She suggests Jim could be a real asset to the ranch; at the end Ely begrudgingly mentions there’s plenty of space for another house on the land.

Essence: Ely is against Ellie marrying, but won’t oppose it.

Conflict: Ellie argues with Ely about Jim and marriage.

Subtext: Ely has some wound about marriage

Hope/fear: Ellie fears Ely won’t be amenable to her marrying Jim (if it comes to that), then hopeful.

INT. THE MARRIAGE BARN/CHURCH – DAY

Rudy’s Marriage Barn is configured as a church, services just ended, people leaving. Jim comes up and helps put away the hymnals, then after all leave except Rudy, Jim speaks about wanting to marry Ellie. Rudy offers to have it there and foot the bill, very pleased with the prospect. Jim’s only problem now, will she marry him. Mentions she’s at Ely’s for a few days.

Essence: Rudy agrees to help Jim and Ellie marry.

Conflict: Jim hesitates in asking for help from Rudy (who is as poor as a church mouse), finally gets up courage.

Subtext: Jim is willing to seek outside help to marry Ellie.

Hope/fear: Jim fears he can’t afford to marry Ellie to hopeful with Rudy’s support.

EXT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT — DAY

Jim at the front door asks Luz where Ellie is. Luz says she just came back from ranch and rushed over to campus, something about meeting a friend.

Essence: Jim wants to propose, tell Ellie that Rev. Rudy will foot the bill.

Conflict: Ellie is not home.

Subtext: Jim impatient to tell Ellie.

Hope/fear: hope she’s home, put off she is not, wonders about “a friend.”

EXT. CAMPUS – DAY

Looking for Ellie Jim comes across Mack, tells him he’s planning to marry Ellie. Ellie spots Jim, gets within hearing distance unnoticed, hears Mack’s teasing response about Jim not being able to get Ellie as a sex conquest.

Essence: Ellie misunderstands Jim’s motives, thinks he was only after her as a sex conquest.

Conflict: Jim and Mack spar over Jim’s idea to marry Ellie; then Ellie gets the wrong idea about Jim.

Subtext: Ellie is crestfallen that Jim isn’t serious about her.

Hope/fear: Ellie is hoping to let Jim know Ely is sort of okay with them, but ends up fearing it was all a mistake.

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Luz meets Gecko in the cafeteria, so sorry to hear that your mother died. Jim sees Ellie at a distance as she puts her arm around Gecko. Jim turns away angry.

Essence: Ellie sympathizes with Gecko over his loss, but Jim thinks she’s drifted apart from him and is going with Gecko.

Conflict: Ellie with Gecko gets Jim jealous and angry.

Subtext: Jim really loves Ellie and can’t bear losing her.

Hope/fear: Jim is quite hopeful they can marry, then find Ellie with the other man.

INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Luz leaves with Javi, and a moment later Jim bursts and confronts her about Gecko. She confronts him about what Mack said, they clear it up, come together strong without revealing their opposing obligations and decide to marry ASAP (so he can stay in the valley and she can keep the apartment).

Essence: They confront each other with misunderstandings, then clear them up and decide to marry.

Conflict: Big outburst of jealous and betrayal between Ellie and Jim.

Subtext: they are sort of immature and rushing it too much, and aren’t honest about their obligations & future plans.

Hope/fear: They fear the whole thing is off, a big breakup rather than a no-regrets drifting apart and end up hopeful about getting married.

INT. MARRIAGE BARN – DAY

Rudy is leading them through the various requirements for a simple, cheap wedding, but when they get to the guest list and Rudy suggests not inviting Uncle Ely (since he disrupted his own wedding and Ellie’s mother’s wedding), and Jim agrees (knowing the hatred between Ely and Fred, who has to be invited), Ellie explodes, suggesting they not invite Fred then. Jim reveals his obligation to Fred and Ellie reveals her commitment to Ely, and they say some over-the-top negative things about each other and call off the wedding.

Scene Arc: From planning a wedding to calling it off.

Essence: In planning the wedding they come to realize that marriage between them is impossible.

Conflict: Ellie angry with Rudy for being against Ely and big argument between Ellie and Jim.

Subtext: They can’t/won’t get out of their obligations/commitments in order to marry.

Hope/fear: very hopeful about getting married to complete fear that they can never marry.

INT. ELLIE AND LUZ’S APARTMENT – DAY

Luz is packing to move in with Javi and splitting things with Ellie. Luz says don’t give up hope re romance, there are many turtles in the sea. Ellie says they’re going extinct, remember? Luz gets a lightbulb idea. Ellie cries that there’s only one Jim Higson.

Scene Arc: Ellie feels justified that marriage is a doomed enterprise and thinks she can go back to her original life plan, but ends by crying over her loss.

Essence: Ellie is heart-broken over the breakup.

Conflict: Ellie and Luz disagree over Ellie going back to life without relationship, then over many eligible men vs. only one man for Ellie.

Subtext: Ellie loves Jim more than ever.

Hope/fear: hopes she can get back to life as before to fears she cannot.

INT. CLUB MEETING ROOM – DAY

End of meeting, Ellie leads a discussion of what else the club should do next year. They decide on another Halloween Hall of Eco-Horrors, show slides of last year’s event. All leave except Gecko, who asks if Jim is still in the club. Ellie says guess not since they broke up. Ellie leaves, Gecko stays. Jim arrives, thought meeting was now. Speaks about how their relationship is impossible, but he can’t think of anyone except Ellie.

Scene Arc: Ellie conducts the meeting, unhappy, leaves. Jim comes late, unhappy.

Essence: Ellie and Jim are unhappy but plan to carry on without each other, go through the motions.

Conflict: Ellie doesn’t argue or disagree with anyone — she’s listless.

Subtext: Ellie and Jim love each other even more now.

Hope/fear: Ellie has no hope, no fear.

INT. JIM’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jim is packing to go home to Houston for the summer. Mack suggests another woman, Jim’s not interested. Mack speaks of a rumor from the eco-freaks that climate change will make men go extinct. Jim says that’s ridiculous, but that he supports eco causes and regrets he said nasty things about eco-activism to Ellie, hopes she does well.

Scene Arc: Jim goes from thinking about summer in Houston to worrying about Ellie

Essence: Jim’s going back to Houston for summer.

Conflict: disagrees with Mack about dating other women

Subtext: he loves Ellie

Hope/fear: hopes Ellie does well in life, fears she’ll also have trouble

EXT. CAMPUS – DAY

Shots of Fall semester, Homecoming signs, students registering for classes, then sitting in class. Ellie and Jim see each other, avoid when they can, offer stiff smiles when they can’t. Last shot, Ellie and new roommate Jen putting up a “Halloween Hall of Eco-Horrors” poster. Jim waits for the girls to finish and walk away, then goes and looks at it.

Scene Arc: Excitement of college starting, Ellie and Jim avoiding, Jim interested in club event.

Essence: Summer’s over, a couple of months pass, nothing stirring between Ellie and Jim

Conflict: avoidance of conflict

Subtext: they are braving it, but still in love

Hope/fear: hope they are over each other to fear they’ll never get over it as time passes.

EXT. CAMPUS – DAY

Pathway of eco-horror displays, club member in various costumes, Ellie in a monarch butterfly costume. Jim approaches in a turtle costume and takes Ellie aside, saying “I’m not extinct yet.”

Scene Arc: Ellie trying to keep up a positive façade to Ellie and Jim back together again.

Essence: Jim is willing to sacrifice for Ellie so they can marry; Ellie is willing to sacrifice for Jim.

Conflict: Ellie thinks Jim just wants a fling – he whirls her around, she protests/resists; he objects, says he’ll renege on his obligation to Fred, pay him back somehow. Ellie points out he’ll be harming his relationship with his mother, Jim deflates/agrees. Ellie doesn’t want him to sacrifice for her, she’ll think about going with him to Houston, renege on her commitment to Ely. They’ll try to work it out, but should take it slowly this time since they weren’t frank with each other before.

Subtext: They are maturing, concerned about each other’s prospects and feeling, willing to sacrifice for each other.

Hope/fear: Ellie fears getting involved with Jim again to they both have measured hope it will work out.

INT. GABBY’S (JIM’S MOTHER’S) HOME, HOUSTON – NIGHT

Jim and Ellie go to Houston to stay with Gabby for Christmas break. Gabby graciously accepts Ellie, show her to a separate bedroom speaking about how Fred helped them keep this nice house after Jim’s father died. Uncle Fred comes for dinner with the Christmas tree to see them, expresses how people should wait until they are financially settled before thinking about marriage.

Scene Arc: Nervous meeting mom, but cleared up in her warmth, to sparing with uncle.

Essence: Mom accepts Ellie and their marriage, Fred does not.

Conflict: subtext sparring between Fred and Ellie, Fred and Jim, Gabby and Jim, and Fred and Gabby.

Subtext: Fred is against their marriage and might throw a wrench in it.

Hope/fear: Hopeful when Gabby embraces Ellie (literally/figuratively) to fear Fred will destroy it.

INT. HIGSON PETROLEUM ENGINEERING CONSULTANCY – DAY

Jim leads Ellie on a tour of Fred’s company, meet EMPLOYEES, including good-looking HEATHER (28), who speaks about how Fred hates any mention of alt energy. Fred arrives, proud of his business, but uptight with Ellie. She tells him he’s doing something important to help society run smoothly on oil. He likes that. Jim says he’s taking Ellie to the Butterfly Museum.

Scene Arc: Friendly tour until Fred causes tension to a final flicker of pleasant ease.

Essence: Ellie is pretending interest in the business and to like it.

Conflict: Fred subtly attacks Ellie, but Ellie spars back with flattery.

Subtext: Ellie hates the business, it’s emphasis on oil only, no alt energy.

Hope/fear: Ellie and Jim fear Fred and his reaction to hope with Fred beginning to like Ellie.

INT. BUTTERFLY MUSEUM, HOUSTON – DAY

Brief scene of Ellie and Jim walk MOS down the multi-storied path of the atrium-garden with a multitude of butterflies. Ellie in complete wonder. At the end near the pond, Jim says he’ll take her to Galveston tomorrow.

Scene Arc: Ellie going from the tension at Fred’s business to awe in this butterfly wonderland.

Essence: Ellie regains her eco-spirit and become even more happy.

Conflict: Jim tries to get Ellie enthused about Houston but she hates cities, ends in Ellie being slightly pleased with Houston (it’s not all bad).

Subtext: Jim wants Ellie to like Houston, but Ellie hates cities, hates Jim’s obligation to Fred, but likes a few things about Houston — his mom, the museum.

Hope/fear: Ellie goes from doubt about liking city life to hope that there are some good things.

EXT. GALVESTON BEACH – DAY

Jim and Ellie walk along the beach talking. In the b.g., homes on tall stilts, with car parking under them.

Scene Arc: Ellie likes the beach (not as much as the one in the Valley) to being upset over thinking about global warming enhanced hurricanes, bonking her back into eco-mode.

Essence: Ellie likes the beach gets reminded of eco-causes.

Conflict: Jim triggers Ellie when he explains how the homes are on stilts due to flooding from hurricanes; Ellie gets upset about global warming increasing hurricanes and Jim tries, but can’t override that.

Subtext: Jim wants Ellie to like the Houston area and temper down her eco-concern, but that backfires.

Hope/fear: hope that Ellie will like Houston area to be happy there to fear her eco-spirit will not allow happiness.

INT. GABBY’S HOME, HOUSTON – NIGHT

Ellie and Jim are decorating the Christmas tree, sipping drinks, while Gabby cooks dinner. Jim tries to convince Ellie he’ll try to get out of his obligation to Fred, and at least work on getting Fred into alt energy in addition to oil, but both know that’s impossible. As Jim gets tipsy, Gabby privately tells Ellie about Jim’s father idolizing big brother Fred and how after his death Fred has been supporting them, how they owe Fred. Ellie assures Gabby she’ll stand by Jim.

Scene Arc: unrealistic talk about changing Fred mind to Jim getting drunk because he can’t make it better for Ellie.

Essence: Ellie is unhappy about their predicament — Jim working in oil, Fred dominating them, she unable to help Ely with his projects.

Conflict: subtext sparring about changing Fred’s mind, and how both Jim and Gabby want to make Ellie happy.

Subtext: Ellie is unhappy. Jim tries to make her happy. Gabby explains so as to keep Ellie with Jim.

Hope/fear: Jim and Gabby hope to make Ellie happy, they fear she may back out of the marriage.

EXT. BUFFALO BAYOU PARK, Houston – DAY

A few snowflakes as Ellie and Jim walk through the park. Ellie is speaking with Rudy about wedding plans, gets off the cell and she and Jim discuss the plans.

Scene Arc: They feel invigorated that Rudy is facilitating the wedding by end of January to feeling terrible that they won’t tell or invite Ely.

Essence: Ellie is willing to sacrifice her relationship with Ely, but Jim feels terrible about it.

Conflict: They argue over what to do about Ely, Jim wanting to include him when Ellie tells him about Ely’s hydrogen electrolyzer and generator, which Jim thinks is brilliant.

Subtext: Jim likes Ely and hates having to dump him; he hates that he is harming Ellie’s relationship with Ely and her hopes for eco-activism with Ely and the positive impact that could have.

Hope/fear: they hope for a successful wedding and marriage to fear issues — Ely, Fred, eco-concerns — will harm/destroy it.

INT. GABBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Gabby is away Xmas Eve shopping, Jim and Ellie are into heavy love-making, when Jim pulls away, saying he wants to call off the wedding because he loves Ellie too much to have her sacrifice her goals and commitments to Ely, which could have a good impact on the world. Ellie objects. Gabby returns.

Scene Arc: From love-making to calling off the wedding.

Essence: Jim doesn’t want to make Ellie sacrifice her goals and commitments so he calls off the wedding.

Conflict: Jim calls off the wedding, Ellie objects, they argue.

Subtext: Jim has matured to the point of sacrificing for Ellie.

Hope/fear: they start out hopeful about their relationship to fearing it should be called off for Ellie’s and the world’s sake.

INT. GABBY’S HOUSE – DAY

Snowing outside the window. Ellie, Jim, Gabby, and Fred, bundled in warm clothes, TV on low with Xmas show/music, open their presents, then Jim announces the wedding is off, that Ellie has important work to do in life and it just wouldn’t work out. Gabby is shocked, Fred is disappointed, since he likes Ellie. Ellie follows Jim into his bedroom and says it’s not off, she’ll find a way to pursue her dreams and stand beside and face life with him. Jim acquiesces, but worries about her well-being and mission. Ellie goes out announces it’s back on and confronts Fred in a reasonable way. TV announcer interrupts program to announce bitter cold front coming from up north — naughty Santa.

Scene Arc: Starts tense for Jim and Ellie due to calling off their wedding, but ends with Ellie’s resolve to make it work and Jim’s worry about it.

Essence: Jim announces the wedding is off; Ellie calls it back on again and confronts Fred, who is against it (politely).

Conflict: Between Jim and Ellie about calling the wedding off and between Ellie and Fred about how he needs to keep up with the time and expand his business into alt energy.

Subtext: Jim hates harming Ellie; Ellie is willing to sacrifice for Jim and got some hidden strength of character to confront Fred.

Hope/fear: Jim hopes since Ellie is released from the relationship she’ll be happy to fear/despair with it back on that she won’t. Ellie fears she’ll be miserable without Jim (and her new mission to stand by him) since he called it off to a very hopeful resolve they will make it work. (This is a role reversal from the beginning in which Ellie suffers eco-despair and Jim is happy-go-lucky hopeful of snagging Ellie.)

Scene Arc: From thinking about their wedding to a power cut that threatens it to Ellie’s appeal to get Ely to host it.

EXT. CAMPUS – NIGHT

Jim and Ellie are headed to the library to return books, bundled in Chicago-type winder jackets, saying it’s never gotten this cold in the Valley. Hope it’s not cold Saturday for their wedding. As they approach the library, all the lights go out around campus.

Essence: The freeze has caused a power cut, threatening the wedding.

Conflict: Nature and the power grid failure against Ellie and Jim’s wedding.

Subtext: another severe freeze and power cut like the one before, only worse. Does this indeed disprove global warming.

Hope/fear: hope for a successful wedding to fear it won’t happen

INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

No lights, except a lantern. Ellie is on her cell with Rudy, Jim and Jen nearby. She gets off and tells them no power at the Marriage Barn and authorities are saying it will be off for a week, but Rudy says we’ll have to cancel until Spring because he’s booked — thanks to my article in the college paper. Jen leaves to buy something (leave the two alone). Jim and Ellie are deflated until Ellie gets an idea — have the wedding in Ely’s barn. That’s the only place that will have heat and lights. Jim thinks it’s crazy, but in his state of despair says go ahead ask, but he won’t agree to it, suggests we could have it in the cold and dark, just us two, Rudy officiating.

Essence: Rudy’s place is out, so Ellie suggests having the wedding at Ely’s.

Conflict: Ellie tries to get Rudy to host the wedding sooner, then argues with Jim over having it at Ely’s.

Subtext: Ellie gets the idea that this was meant to be, bringing Ely and Fred together.

Hope/fear: fear they won’t get married at all if they wait until Spring to Ellie hoping Ely will host it in his barn.

INT. ELY’S RANCH HOUSE – DAY

Ellie enters house, goes to charge her cell, helps Ely cook dinner, while telling him she’ll be marrying Jim, moving to Houston, where he has to work for Fred. She lets him know that they had planned the wedding and didn’t invite him due to his grudge with Fred, but that Jim really likes him a lot. Ely is quite upset. Then she tells him Rudy’s place doesn’t have power, so could we have the wedding here. He flies off the handle, but at the end agrees.

Essence: Ellie gets Ely to agree to host the wedding in his barn.

Conflict: As Ellie tells each unpleasant (to Ely) thing he gets more and more angry until he burst out.

Subtext: Ellie is honest and brave to confront this cantankerous old man, because she knows he loves her.

Hope/fear: Ellie fears Ely will refuse to hope the wedding goes well in his barn.

INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Back home with Jim and Jen and the flickering lantern for light Ellie and Jim argue about having the wedding at Ely’s until Jim caves in despair saying at least it’ll be fun to see the blow up between Ely and Fred. They get busy calling the guests about the change in venue.

Scene Arc: From arguing over whether to have it at Ely’s to calling guests to tell them the change.

Essence: They get busy making the making the new arrangements

Conflict: Jim bitterly opposes having it at Ely’s not only because there’ll be a blowup between the uncles, but also because they dumped Ely and he feels bad about it.

Subtext: Jim is a sensitive guy now despairing, while Ellie has become the strong one with a thick shell.

Hope/fear: Jim and Ellie fear the problems putting the two uncles together, but at least Ellie is hopeful it will work somehow.

Scene Arc: From wedding guests arriving, setting things up to Ellie and Jim taking their vows.

EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Shots of Ellie, Jim, and GUESTS (Rudy and family, some club members, etc) arriving with bundles of supplies and getting to work cleaning the barn, decorating, cooking. The men helping Ely set up the alt energy batteries and generators. KIDS having fun running on the human hamster wheel and horsing around. Ellie brings up to Ely that Fred will be coming.

Essence: Ellie, Jim, Ely and guests get the barn ready for the wedding.

Conflict: Several guest vie over the outlets to charge up their cell phones, Ely tries to directing actions, gets frustrated with people ignore him and proceed with speed. Ely gets upset when he hears Fred will be coming.

Subtext: This will be a wedding to remember.

Hope/fear: Ely and others hopeful they can fix up the place and make it a wonderful wedding to fear about what will happen when Fred arrives.

EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Fred and Gabby arrive at the ranch. Fred and Ely try to be polite, then Fred snorts that the freeze certainly disproves global warming. Ely explains that such freezes are made more likely due to the warming with Gecko chiming in, Jim pointing out Gecko is studying climate science. Fred feels ganged upon. There’s a big blow up between the two uncles, Ellie soft-talking Fred and Jim siding with Ely re alt energy, until Fred finally agrees about it’s benefits. Fred explains how the woman he stole from Ely also left him. Then when Ellie pleads with Fred to release Jim from his obligation (Jim would never ask), Fred confesses that Jim owes him nothing because he cheated Jim’s father out of his inheritance — he needed to expand his consultancy, thinking he’d make more money to provide more for Jeff.

Scene Arc: Great tension when Fred arrives to a blow up between the uncles to a resolution and Fred’s confession that Jim owes him nothing.

Essence: Global warming enhanced the great freeze, Fred and Ely resolve differences, Jim owes nothing to Fred.

Conflict: over global warming and over Ely’s grudge against Fred.

Subtext: Ellie was right to bring the two uncles together; things got resolved.

Hope/fear: great fear of destruction of wedding when Fred arrives.

EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Fred gets intrigued by Ely’s inventions, thinking they could join together and make good money off them. The discussion goes on and on as the battery power is being used up threatening to derail the wedding, Fred turning to Jim, telling him he’ll need him here at the ranch to help develop and market the invention. Finally Rudy, Jim, and Ellie draw the focus back on the wedding. Ellie and Jim make their vows in a sweet ceremony (sort of like the Xmas nativity scene). But before their grand kiss cell phones beep text messages among all present. The Sea Turtle Rescue Center is calling everyone to come save the 1000s of cold-stunned turtles. They all rush out, including Ellie, Jim, Ely and Fred.

Essence: Fred and Ely plan to develop and market one of Ely’s inventions, then Ellie and Jim make their vows, then the Turtle Center calls all to come help rescue cold-stunned turtles, and all rush out to do so.

Conflict: Ellie and Jim have a hard time getting Fred and Ely to refocus on the wedding before the power runs out. The Turtle Center disrupts the wedding after vows but before the kiss.

Subtext: all are concerned about the couple, then the turtles.

Hope/fear: fear that they won’t be able to get the uncles off their business planning to hope the married couple will have a great marriage to fear for the turtles safety.

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Ellie, Jim and wedding guests bundled in winter jackets, along with MANY LOCALS and CENTER STAFF, out saving the cold-stunned turtles. Ely and some guests setting up generators and batteries in the Center to help warm the turtles. The couple takes a brief break for their wedding kiss.

Scene Arc: wedding party arrives and gets to work rescuing turtles to 100s of turtles saved, to the couple has their wedding kiss.

Essence: Turtles are saved, Ellie and Jim seal the wedding with the kiss.

Conflict: mad rushing around, some confusion, getting to work saving turtles. ?? Maybe Fred is squeamish about wading into the freezing water, egged on by others.

Subtext: Ellie and Jim will be able to pursue ALL their plans and dreams. There is hope for planet earth.

Hope/fear: fear for the turtles safety to hope for a good future with concerned, active people.

[Deleted User]

4/9. My vision is to become a stronger writer

Karen Crider’s Scene Requirements

What I learned: I learned to think about the various parts of the script and how they need to go in certain places to honor the structure. I am guilty of being nomadic in my writing. I like it but nomadic does not work well in screenplays. So, I am trying harder to partition them in places that are conducive to the script. Trying to assimilate that into my brain is called learning and requires new neural paths. Whether I am closer to where I should be is unknown, but the writing is where I have fun and that’s where words carry me beyond story; which is one reason that I write. Thanks.

EXT. AFRICAN POND – DAY

(Scene Arc) In the jungles of Africa, a mad dog attacks Mortimer, an African wolf.

(Essence) Will the wolf survive?

(Conflict) Mortimer kills the wild dog.

(Subtext) The rabid dog has met a wolf with a rabid character—the criminal/antagonist.

(Hope) We hope Mortimer survives, and he does.

(Fear) Will Mortimer contract rabies?

EXT. A HYENA DEN – NIGHT

(Scene arc) Mortimer invades a hyena den, grapples a cub from the den, but is attacked by another hyena.

Mortimer traumatizes protag, SHADOW, the hyena cub.

(Essence:) Mortimer steals a female cub, SURUS, for supper, but is attacked by another hyena, SILLA.

(Conflict:) SILLA, the clan’s matriarch, runs Mortimer off and returns to the communal den with Surus.

(Subtext) Silla hides Surus’ identity and claims her as her own.

(Hope) Is there hope Surus may ever find her family again?

(Fear) that Silla will get rabies. (Hyenas are highly immune to infections and rabies than any other species.)

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – LATER

(Scene arc) A much- older Shadow nips HILLY, Silla’s offspring, for attacking his mom. Shadow is ousted to the jungle in retribution.

(Essence:) Can Shadow survive? Will he live up to his branded name, coward?

(Conflict) Predators hunt Shadow; he has little experience in fighting or feeding himself.

(Subtext:) Fish out of water.

(Hope/Fear:) Shadow hopes to take revenge on Silla and kill Mortimer, who he believes has killed his sister, Surus.

(Fear) He’s traumatized/petrified of Mortimer, and is forced to live in his birth den, eating grubs.

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY

(Scene arc) Time passes. Silla trains Surus by having her keep the lower-level females in subjection.

such as Ivy (her real mother,) who recognizes her daughter’s scent.

(Essence) Ivy recognizes Surus scent, and the heart-shaped spot on her shoulder.

(Conflict) Ivy mentions this to Surus adding, she is her daughter.

(Subtext) Dramatic Irony

(Hope) That Surus will believe Ivy, and not Silla who lies.

(Fear) That if Surus believes Silla’s lies, Ivy has lost her daughter again.

Turning Point/ plot point one: The clan howler announces the Olympic Hyena Howling Contest.

ACT 2:

EXT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY

(Scene Arc) Shadow asks for help practicing his howls from different creatures to no avail.

(Essence) Shadow’s goal is to be awarded entrance into a large clan which ensures his survival.

(Conflict) Shadow gets beat up for practicing. He’s terrible.

(Subtext) Fish out of water. Fails at hunting. Fails to sneak back into clan. Fails with overcoming Mortimer.

(Hope) that he can win the competition and enter into a larger clan ensuring his survival.

(Fear) That he won’t win and must continue to struggle to stay alive.

(Subplot) HILLY, Silla’s offspring, is jealous after Silla starts training Surus; Hilly spills the beans.

(Essence) Surus realizes Ivy has told her the same thing. Silla denies it.

The Midpoint:

INT. JUNGLE CLEARING – DAY

(Scene Arc) The judging at the Olympic Hyena Howling Contest at the competition.

(Essence) Whoever wins, benefits from the added security of a larger clan.

(Conflict) Competition is stiff; Brimsley wins; brief family contact.

(Subtext) Competitors plotting for a win.

(Hope) that Shadow is going to win and find safety in numbers.

(Fear) Shadow loses.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Ivy search for Shadow so they can leave clan.

EXT, COMMUNAL DENS – DAY

Plot point two: Low point of movie

(Scene arc) Shadow follows clan and watches Silla take a zebra.

(Essence) Shadow hopes he can find a remnant of food from their hunt.

(Conflict) Mortimer shows up, and kills a Maasai mother and newborn in brush while Shadow watches.

(Subtext) The criminal, mad and out of control, manipulates and kills its victims.

(Hope) That Shadow stays far from Mortimer, who also kills the warriors who follow him.

(Fear) Shadow hates himself for being a coward.

(Subplot) Surus, Brimsley and Ivy search for Shadow.

Act 3:

EXT, COMMUNAL DENS – DAY

(Scene arc) Shadow returns to the empty den sites of his old clan to see Ivy.

(Essence) Shadow’s lonely and hungry as he follows the clan’s scent path.

(Conflict) The clan has gluttoned themselves, and on the way back when Shadow hears his mother’s frantic howls.

(Subtext) It’s found out later that Silla has schemed to leave Ivy defenseless, for fear she’s leaving and taking Surus with her.

Hope: Shadow hopes he can get to his mom to save her before it’s too late.

(Fear) Mortimer has killed Ivy. Shadow kills Mortimer.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Shadow unite, mourning their mom.

-They return to the dens, where Silla eventually confesses, she left Ivy behind on purpose.

-Surus who has been trained by Silla, demands to deal with her.

-They struggle and Surus leaves Silla in the dirt.

-An elder asks Surus if she’s interested in become a helper matriarch?

– She says, no as Brimsley, Surus and Shadow leave without looking back.

-Silla stares sadly after them, knowing she may never see Surus again.

[Deleted User]

4/9. My vision is to become a stronger writer

Karen Crider’s Scene Requirements

What I learned: I learned to think about the various parts of the script and how they need to go in certain places to honor structure. I am guilty of being nomadic in my writing. I like it, but nomadic does not work well in screenplays. So, I am trying harder to partition them in places that are conducive to the script. Trying to assimilate that into my brain is called learning and requires new neural paths. Whether I am closer to where I should be is unknown, but the writing is where I have fun, where words carry me beyond story; which is one reason I write.

Thanks. I edited a little, so I’m re-submitting just for the heck of it. lol

EXT. AFRICAN POND – DAY

(Scene Arc) In the jungles of Africa, a mad dog attacks Mortimer, an African wolf.

(Essence) Will the wolf survive?

(Conflict) Mortimer kills the wild dog.

(Subtext) The rabid dog has met a wolf with a rabid character—the criminal/antagonist.

(Hope) We hope Mortimer survives, and he does.

(Fear) Will Mortimer contract rabies?

EXT. A HYENA DEN – NIGHT

(Scene arc) Mortimer invades a hyena den, grapples a cub from the den, but is attacked by another hyena.

Mortimer traumatizes protag, SHADOW, the hyena cub.

(Essence:) Mortimer steals a female cub, SURUS, for supper, but is attacked by another hyena, SILLA.

(Conflict:) SILLA, the clan’s matriarch, runs Mortimer off and returns to the communal den with Surus.

(Subtext) Silla hides Surus’ identity and claims her as her own.

(Hope) Is there hope Surus may ever find her family again?

(Fear) that Silla will get rabies. (Hyenas are highly immune to infections and rabies than any other species.)

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – LATER

(Scene arc) A much- older, Shadow nips HILLY, Silla’s offspring, for attacking his mom. Shadow is ousted to the jungle in retribution.

(Essence:) Can Shadow survive? Will he live up to his branded name, coward?

(Conflict) Predators hunt Shadow; he has little experience in fighting or feeding himself.

(Subtext:) Fish out of water.

(Hope/Fear:) Shadow hopes to take revenge on Silla and kill Mortimer, who he believes has killed his sister, Surus.

(Fear) He’s traumatized/petrified of Mortimer, and is forced to live in his birth den, eating grubs.

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY

(Scene arc) Time passes. Silla trains Surus by having her keep the lower-level females in subjection.

such as Ivy (her real mother,) who recognizes her daughter’s scent.

(Essence) Ivy recognizes Surus scent, and the heart-shaped spot on her shoulder.

(Conflict) Ivy mentions this to Surus adding, she is her daughter.

(Subtext) Dramatic Irony

(Hope) That Surus will believe Ivy, and not Silla who lies.

(Fear) That if Surus believes Silla’s lies, Ivy has lost her daughter again.

Turning Point/ plot point one: The clan howler announces the Olympic Hyena Howling Contest.

ACT 2:

EXT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY

(Scene Arc) Shadow asks for help practicing his howls from different creatures to no avail.

(Essence) Shadow’s goal is to be awarded entrance into a large clan which ensures his survival.

(Conflict) Shadow gets beat up for practicing. He’s terrible.

(Subtext) Fish out of water. Fails at hunting. Fails to sneak back into clan. Fails with overcoming Mortimer.

(Hope) that he can win the competition and enter into a larger clan ensuring his survival.

(Fear) That he won’t win and must continue to struggle to stay alive.

(Subplot) HILLY, Silla’s offspring, is jealous after Silla starts training Surus; Hilly spills the beans.

(Essence) Surus realizes Ivy has told her the same thing. Silla denies it.

The Midpoint:

INT. JUNGLE CLEARING – DAY

(Scene Arc) The judging at the Olympic Hyena Howling Contest at the competition.

(Essence) Whoever wins, benefits from the added security of a larger clan.

(Conflict) Competition is stiff; Brimsley wins; brief family contact.

(Subtext) Competitors plotting for a win.

(Hope) that Shadow is going to win and find safety in numbers.

(Fear) Shadow loses.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Ivy search for Shadow as he leaves the clan.

EXT, COMMUNAL DENS – DAY

Plot point two: Low point of movie

(Scene arc) Shadow follows clan and watches Silla take a zebra.

(Essence) Shadow hopes he can find a remnant of food from their hunt.

(Conflict) Mortimer shows up, and kills a Maasai mother and newborn in brush while Shadow watches.

(Subtext) The criminal, mad and out of control, manipulates and kills its victims.

(Hope) That Shadow stays far from Mortimer, who also kills the warriors who hunts him.

(Fear) Shadow hates himself for being a coward.

(Subplot) Surus, Brimsley and Ivy hunting for Shadow.

Act 3:

EXT, COMMUNAL DENS – DAY

(Scene arc) Shadow returns to the empty den sites of his old clan to see Ivy.

(Essence) Shadow’s lonely and hungry as he follows the clan’s scent path.

(Conflict) The clan has gluttoned themselves, and on the way back when Shadow hears his mother’s frantic howls.

(Subtext) It’s found out later that Silla has schemed to leave Ivy defenseless, for fear she’s leaving and taking Surus with her.

Hope: Shadow hopes he can get to his mom to save her before it’s too late.

(Fear) Mortimer has killed Ivy. Shadow kills Mortimer.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Shadow unite, mourning their mom.

-They return to the dens, where Silla eventually confesses, she left Ivy behind on purpose.

-Surus, who has been trained by Silla, demands to deal with her.

-They struggle and Surus leaves Silla in the dirt.

-An elder asks Surus if she’s interested in taking leadership of the clan?

-Silla stares sadly after them, knowing she may never see Surus again.

– Brimsley, Surus and Shadow leave without looking back. Chortles, howls, and laughter, rise in unison, mixing inside a jungle chorus, as other hyena’s looking for new leadership join their path.

[ROBERT Ingalls]

Module 4, Lesson 9 – Scene Requirements

Subject: Rob Ingalls’ Scene Requirements

MY VISION:

To be a Talented writer that delivers quality fast, with the film industry seeking me out.

WIL: Outline sluglines and essence makes for easy follow-on script building.

=====================================================

TEASER

MONTAGE – Thieves steal various items

– Jewelry, cars, gold, cryptocurrency, airplanes, art, yachts, etc

– Thieves wear various outfits: Uniforms, street gear, black skin tights, etc

Scene Arc: – None. Various thieves stealing various items

Essence: Intriguing scene of various thefts taking place by thieves using various means

ACT-1

INT. ACADEMY / HALLWAY – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris walks down hall, pauses at glass trophy case, wishes his name on top graduate trophy.

Fantasizes him breaking glass case and swapping out trophy with his name on it.

Essence: To show pain and want/desire for something he missed or didn’t get

Conflict: Who deserves the trophy? Simon or Harris?

Subtext: Harris believes he should have won trophy and not Simon (years ago)

Hope/Fear: We hope the right person got trophy. We fear Harris may do something wrong by breaking glass case.

INT. ACADEMY / CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris starts new class. Teaches basics. Stares at female instructor next door.

Essence: Intro Harris, Instructor at Academy. Students learn general education (physics, psychology, math) but

we don’t yet know it’s geared toward theft/heist.

Conflict: Harris is bored/frustrated with life as an instructor. He wants to get out into real world.

Subtext: There’s something more here than just classroom academics.

Hope/Fear: We fear Harris may do something stupid.

INT. HOSPITAL / CHILDREN’S WARD – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon is lead entertainment with kids. Afterwards, he leaves alone and is depressed. His brother

never made it out of hospital alive.

Essence: Simon bonds with young kids as he displays magic tricks. His way of staying in connection with younger brother (deceased).

Conflict: Kids are fighting cancer. Simon lost young brother to cancer.

Subtext: Simon wishes he could do something to bring his brother back.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon heals/ Fear that it will get worse

INT. CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon happy with kids. Sad when he leaves. We notice hospital ward named in honor of his younger dead brother.

Essence: Show loneliness in Simon. Sad at loss of younger bro.

Conflict: Internal fight with brother’s death and moving on with life.

Subtext: Can Simon live up to the image his bro had of him before he died?

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon finds peace. Fear that his brother’s death will adversely affect him.

INT./EXT. CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Loneliness to being top dog on campus. Everyone knows him, though they are strangers to him.

Essence: Simon arrives at Academy. We don’t yet know what kind of academy. But Simon is important to them.

Conflict: He won original challenge that no one yet has beat. Yet he cheated (creative liberties, aka Kobayashi Maru)

Subtext: Simon doesn’t feel he deserves all the attention.

Hope/Fear: Hope he does well. Fear he messes up.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris is good instructor, then gets shivers when Simon pops head into class.

Essence: We see history between Simon and Harris. They were former students years ago.

Conflict: Something is between them. Simon teases Harris about winning years ago.

Subtext: Not real friendly, despite Simon acting friendly. Harris hesitant.

Hope/Fear: Hope they get a long. Fear there will be tension migrating to something worse.

EXT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon proud of teasing Harris, then mad at himself for doing so

Essence: Simon guilty about winning.

Conflict: Harris feels he should have won, not Simon.

Subtext: Deep down, Simon agrees with Harris.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon comes to terms with truth. Fear Harris will do something to Simon as payback.

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris clips Simon’s car. Puts dent. Drives away without telling Simon.

Essence: Harris fights back against Simon.

Conflict: Harris payback to Simon, even if little clip.

Subtext: Harris pissed at Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope this is end of payback. Fear its just begun.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Graduating students pile into room, awaiting grades. They pump fists in celebration – all graduating.

Essence: Graduating students complete Senior Project. We learn Academy is for thieves GRAND HEIST ACADEMY.

Conflict: Some may not graduate… but they all do.

Subtext: There’s something unique going on here.

Hope/Fear: Hope all students graduate. Fear some may not.

INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon arrives, gives pep talk. Teases by stealing everyone’s wallet. Mentions he is RETIRING.

Essence: Show Simon as top thief, then mention he’s stopping business.

Conflict: INCITING INCIDENT: Students challenge Simon. Simon tries to avoid.

Subtext: Simon can’t do this anymore (or ever)

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon takes on challenge and prove he’s worth adulation. Fear he doesn’t/isn’t.

INT. AUDITORIUM – CONTINUE

Scene Arc: Simon trying to get out of challenge. Harris prods him into accepting (double dog dare)

Essence: Harris double dog dares Simon into accepting challenge

Conflict: Harris and Simon are enemies. Harris gets Simon to accept challenge against his desire.

Subtext: Harris wins a small battle but not the war.

Hope/Fear: Hope all goes well with Simon. Fear it doesn’t.

ACT-2

INT. HARRIS’ OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris changes thief database. Simon picks wrong guys. Failure in challenge.

Essence: Harris changes database of thieves skills to hurt Simon

Conflict: Harris vs Simon

Subtext: Harris wants Simon to lose challenge

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can still pull off heist. Fear the team messes up.

INT. MUSEUM/JEWELRY STORE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon begins challenge with observed confidence. Inner fear of Simon rises.

Essence: Simon struggles to do simple heist and we wonder why.

Conflict: Is Simon’s issues with Harris input or is there something inner in Simon that kills deal?

Subtext: Simon struggling inwards. Why?

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can pull off heist. Fear he can’t.

INT. ACADEMY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Eager students anticipate great learning. Instead, see Simon fail.

Essence: Students watch via cameras. Wonder why Simon fails.

Conflict: Students should be seeing Simon success. Instead see Simon fail.

Subtext: Simon isn’t who they thought he was.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon is still the person they thought. Fear he doesn’t deserve top thisf.

INT. MUSEUM/JEWELRY STORE – NIGHT

INT. ACADEMY OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Back and forth, Harris srews up Simon’s efforts.

Essence: For each effort by Simon, Harris does a counter, messing up Simon’s plans.

Conflict: How would Simon do without Harris input?

Subtext: Simon would have screwed up anyway, without Harris input.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon succeeds. Fear he won’t.

INT. MUSEUM/JEWELRY STORE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: New effort to steal gold. Doesn’t work.

Essence: Simon enlists outside help (popular magician who is a frend of Simon) to do vanishing elephant tricks

Conflict: Old tried and true methods don’t work. Try new effort.

Subtext: Nomatter what Simon does, he can’t win.

Hope/Fear: Hope new approach works. Fear it doesn’t.

INT. ACADEMY OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon struggles to win. Harris stronger effort. Harris winning.

Essence: Harris double-downs his effort to stop Simon.

Conflict: Harris vs Simon

Subtext: Harris is stronger than Simon.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can pull this out. Fear Harris will win.

INT. ACADEMY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Students go from trust to lack of with Simon. Harris Intern claims fraud.

Essence: Students begin to doubt Simon’s abilities and his standing

Conflict: How is it Simon won trphy and yet can’t do basic heist?

Subtext: Simon isn’t who/what he says he is.

Hope/Fear: Hope we understand Simon and he’s good, fear he sucks

INT. ACADEMY – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris confronts Simon for truth. Simon ignores Harris

Essence: Harris wants Simon to confess that he sucks and Harris should have won trophy.

Simon doesn’t bite. Simon determined to prove everyone wrong, even himself.

Conflict: Harris vs. Simon

Subtext: Harris convinced Simon is a fraud. Simon won’t admit.

Hope/Fear: Hope Harris is wrong. Fear he’s right.

ACT-3

INT. ACADEMY – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon with no plan to Simon with grand plan

Essence: Simon comes up with a new plan that is BOLD – Tunnel underneath gold statue and hollow it out.

Conflict: Harris proves Simon sucks but Simon comes up with great plan that will work.

Subtext: Simon to prove to all he’s good

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can pull this off, fear he can’t

EXT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon begins tunneling while Harris works to cave in tunneling

Essence: Despite new grand plan, Harris is there to sabotauge it

Conflict: Despite new grand plan, Harris is there to sabotauge it

Subtext: Harris will continue trying to stop Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope Harris stops, fear he won’t

INT. ACADEMY OFFICE – DAY

INT. FBI – DAY

INT. POLICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon works plan and it looks good. Then Harris screws it up, calls in outside forces.

Essence: Harris contacts police, FBI – outside help to stop Simon

Conflict: Simon gets arrested after tunnel collapses

Subtext: Harris is not going to let up

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can be let go. Fear he’s in jail for a long time.

INT. POLICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon arrested, then tells he’s innocent

Essence: Simon talks his way out of being arrested/jailed. The police think drugs or human trafficking, not heist

Conflict: If not Simon, then who built the tunnels?

Subtext: Simon really is tunnel master

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon freed, Fear he will be in jail a long time. Hope he can return to tunneling

INT./EXT. POLICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon in jail, breaks out using hi-tech gear from ACADEMY storage

Essence: Simon breaks out of jail

Conflict: Police try to track down Simon

Subtext: Harris feeds police with more info on Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon gets away, fear he doesn’t

INT. ACADEMY – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon tells truth about winning trophey. Expect trophy to go to Harris. Trophey stays put.

Essence: Simon confesses to Harris that the tropy belongs to Harris

Conflict: Harris still does not get academy recognition

Subtext: Despite Simon spilling beans, the academy still choses Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope that Simon does right thing. Fear that Harris will still be labled low.

ACT-4

INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon close to winning challenge, then another problem

Essence: Tunnel complete, Simon begins melting gold/hollow out statue

Conflict: Melts too much in small area – penetrates shell of statue

Subtext: Harris still at it – throwing wrench in path

Hope/Fear: Hope that Simon and Harris get what they want/ Fear they don’t

INT. ACADEMY AUDITORIUM – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon enters with gold. Wins challenge. Then confesses to class

Essence: Simon wins but also confesses

Conflict: Simon and Harris end conflict

Subtext: They are still good friends like in old days

Hope/Fear: Hope all is well. Fear the battle continues.

[Dana Abbott]

WIM2 – Dana’s Scene Requirements

My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.

What I learned during this assignment:

Find the essence of the scene early. Create the conflict between antagonist/protagonist. Understand the hope and fear of the characters. But most important, SUBTEXT is the key to every scene.

GENRE: Thriller

Protagonist: Ruth Griffin

Antagonist: The Custodian

Supporting Character: Camila

====================

Scene Arc: From Ruth reviving in the smelting pot to realizing she’s been kidnapped for ransom.

INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Ruth Griffin revives in the bottom of a smelting pot in an abandoned steel mill and is soon surprised by her masked captor, the Custodian, standing on the platform above her.

Essence: Ruth has been kidnapped for ransom

Conflict: Will she escape?

Subtext: She is a woman of wealth/privilege

Hope/Fear: We hope she escapes. We fear she will be harmed.

INT: ROOM – NIGHT

The Custodian sends a proof of life photo of Ruth to her husband and demands ransom for her return.

Essence: The Custodian wants money for Ruth

Conflict: He blackmails the husband.

Subtext: He will kill Ruth if he doesn’t get his money.

Hope/Fear: We hope the husbands pays the money. We fear Ruth will be killed anyway.

====================

Scene Arc: From Ruth hearing a drug gang arrive to the gang leaving one of their own for dead.

INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Ruth hears two cars drive into the mill but hesitates to call out, having been warned by her captor to remain silent for her own safety.

Essence: Ruth wants to be rescues, but she is wary of her rescuers.

Conflict: Will Ruth be discovered?

Subtext: She doesn’t know who has arrived.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will not be discovered. We fear she will be killed.

INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Cars roll into the mill. Engines turn off, lights stay on. A drug gang exits the cars with a hostage they intend to interrogate.

Essence: The hostage is an informer they intend to kill

Conflict: The gang leader tortures the informant

Subtext: The mill is not safe.

Hope/Fear: Hope the gang doesn’t find Ruth. We fear they will kill her.

INT. SMELING POT – SAME

Ruth tries to remain quiet while listening the man being tortured.

Essence: Ruth is desperate not to be discovered.

Conflict: Will she be discovered?

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope she is not found. We fear she will be killed.

INT. STEEL MILL/SMELTING POT – SAME

The gang leader’s Rottweiler hears Ruth in the pot and bolts to find her. Camila, the girlfriend, chases after the dog and discovers Ruth.

Essence: Ruth is discovered by a gang member.

Conflict: Ruth begs Camila not to expose her.

Subtext: Ruth is witness to a murder.

Hope/Fear: We hope Camila doesn’t expose Ruth. We fear Camila will tell the others.

INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Camila rejoins the drug gang. The informer is killed, and the drug gang leaves.

Essence: Ruth is not discovered.

Conflict: Informer is murdered.

Subtext: Ruth learns why she must remain quiet.

Hope/Fear: We hope Camila helps Ruth. We fear for Ruth future safety.

INT: STEEL MILL – SAME

The Custodian is sitting in the dark, the tip of a lit cigar burning.

Essence: He allows the drug gang to frighten Ruth into obedience.

Conflict: His non-action scares Ruth.

Subtext: He lets others to his dirty work.

Hope/Fear: We hope he doesn’t kill Ruth. We fear he will kill Ruth.

====================

Scene Arc: From Ruth’s life being in danger to Custodian saving her life

INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

After Ruth kills a rattle snake that falls in with her, she is discovered by derelict who climbs down into the smelting pot to assault her. The Custodian saves her by killing the derelict, hanging him by his neck from the rafters above Ruth.

Essence: Ruth must fight for her own survival.

Conflict: Ruth is assaulted by the derelict/Custodian kills the derelict

Subtext: The Custodian needs to keep her alive until the ransom is paid.

Hope/Fear: We first hope the derelict will help Ruth. We fear that he will assault her.

====================

Scene Arc: From the Custodian contacting the husband to learning the husband is involved.

INT. ROOM – NIGHT

The Custodian contacts Ruth’s husband who tries to negotiate the ransom.

Essence: Ruth’s husband is conspiring with the Custodian to kill Ruth.

Conflict: The Custodian refused to concede.

Subtext: The husband cannot be trusted.

Hope/Fear: We hope the husband gets justice. We fear that he won’t.

====================

Scene Arc: From Camila returning to help to Ruth learning her husband is conspiring to kill her.

INT. STEEL MILL/SMELTING POT– NIGHT

Camila returns to help Ruth.

Essence: Camila is curious, nervous about helping Ruth.

Conflict: Ruth begs Camila to help her.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Camila helps Ruth. We fear Camila will be killed.

INT. STEEL MILL/SMELTING POT– SAME

Camila is killed by the Custodian before she can help Ruth.

Essence: Camila is killed. Her body falls into the smelting pot.

Conflict: The Custodian kills Camila.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear:

INT. STEEL MILL/SMELTING POT– SAME

The Custodian calls Ruth’s husband and lets Ruth hear the call.

Essence: Ruth learns her husband is conspiring to have her killed.

Conflict: Ruth confronts her husband.

Subtext: Ruth is going to be killed.

Hope/Fear: We hope Camila helps Ruth escape. We fear Camila will be killed.

====================

Scene Arc: From the Custodian leaving to collect the ransom to Ruth climbing from the smelting pot.

INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Ruth hears the Custodian leave on his motorcycle. She finds Camila’s car keys and devises her escape to climb from the pot.

Essence: Ruth escapes from the smelting pot.

Conflict: Ruth use Camila’s body and climb onto the derelict to escape.

Subtext: The Custodian has supplied her escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can climb out. We fear she will fall.

====================

Scene Arc: From Custodian finding Ruth gone to the Custodian being killed.

INT. STEEL MILL – NIGHT

The Custodian returns. Ruth must hide in the mill.

Essence: Ruth must evade the Custodian to escape.

Conflict: The Custodian must now kill Ruth.

Subtext: The Custodian realizes he allowed her to escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth will kill the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill Ruth.

INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Ruth makes for Camila’s car to escape, only to be denied by the Rottweiler in the back seat.

Essence: Ruth’s escape is foiled.

Conflict: Ruth must fight the Custodian.

Subtext: Ruth must confront her kidnapper.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth will kill the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill Ruth.

INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Ruth eludes the Rottweiler and is chased by the Custodian until she is trapped.

Essence: Ruth fights the Custodian.

Conflict: Will Ruth will the fight?

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth kills the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill her.

INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Ruth loses the fight and is knocked down and about to die. The Rottweiler comes from nowhere and attacks the Custodian, knocking him off the platform into the smelting pot. Dead.

Essence: Ruth loses the fight.

Conflict: The Rottweiler attacks the Custodian.

Subtext: Camila helped Ruth escape after all.

Hope/Fear: We hope the Custodian is dead. We fear he is not.

====================

Scene Arc: From the police investigating to Ruth trapping her husband.

INT/EXT. STEEL MILL – NIGHT

The police arrive to rescue Ruth. Ruth’s husband shows up.

Essence: The police investigate the scene.

Conflict: Ruth’s husband demands to see his wife.

Subtext: Ruth’s husband is hiding his culpability.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth’s husband is arrested. We fear he won’t be.

INT. AMBULANCE – NIGHT

Ruth sits in the back of the ambulance recovering. The Rottweiler is at her side. Her husband joins her. The doors are closed.

Essence: Ruth gets even with her husband.

Conflict: Ruth shows her husband the Custodian’s phone.

Subtext: Ruth owns her husband/He’s trapped.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth gets revenge. We fear she’s going to kill him.

====================

Scene Arc: From police inquiring about the victims to the Custodian vanishing.

INT. STEEL MILL – NIGHT

The police are cleaning up the scene. Taking out the bodies. But the Custodian’s body has vanished from the smelting pot.

Essence: The Custodian isn’t dead.

Conflict: The Custodian has escaped.

Subtext: We never know his identity.

Hope/Fear: We hope he’s gone. We fear he will return.

[JOEL STERN]

Module 4 Lesson 9

My vision: To write eight screenplays
that become Hollywood blockbusters and to have a speaking line in at
least one of them.

What I learned from this assignment:
Working five key ingredients into each scene to make it more
powerful.

SUPER: “FRANCE, 1944”

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Jim, gravely wounded reaches two badly
shot buddies by the door. Vision blurred by blood in his eyes, Jim
kicks the door open, ducks and rolls a grenade under the pews. Two
nuns scatter. BOOM! Four German teens dressed as civilians killed. He
drags his buddies to safety under heavy fire.

Scene Arc: From ordinary soldier Jim to winning the Medal of
Honor.

Essence: Jim’s incredible heroism. Never realized he had it in
him.

Conflict: The four teens killed were unarmed. Did he murder
innocent civilians?

Subtext: Before passing out, one of the soldiers Jim saved calls
Jim a murderer.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim really killed four German soldiers and it
wasn’t an illusion. We’re afraid they were really innocent
civilians.

EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Jim pinches his eyes. It’s a flashback
he wants to shake. The war’s over! He weaves through soldiers and
loved ones and rejoins his wife and wheelchair-bound son in an
emotional reunion. He bends down to hug Jim Jr. and a flask of booze
falls out of his pocket.

Scene Arc: From Jim revealing his personal hell while getting off
a troop train to rejoining his family and accidentally revealing his
drinking problem.

Essence: Jim is not the same man he was before the war.

Conflict: Jane’s realizes her husband is a drinker.

Subtext: Jim’s pretending life will be the same as it was before
the war.

Hope/fear: We hope the war hasn’t destroyed Jim. But it might
have.

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING

Jim and his buddies play poker. Jane serves sandwiches like an
obedient cliched 1940s wife. Jim – always under control – loses
a hand and turns over the table and reaches for a gun.

Scene Arc: From cool ‘ol Jim to a quick tempered stranger.

Essence: Jim’s not the same man who left for wartime Europe.

Conflict: Jim’s restrained by friends nearly resulting in a
shooting.

Subtext: Jim tells a knock-knock joke to make it seem
everything’s okay.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim isn’t losing control of himself. Drinking
and temper flareups say otherwise.

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – DAY

While sorting through bills Jim gets a phone call and is offered
a job interview with a local Las Vegas TV station.

Scene Arc: From Jim agonizing over unpaid bills to him possibly
getting his dream job.

Essence: His life is about to change.

Conflict: With no journalism experience Jim needs to prove he can
do the job.

Subtext: Jim has self doubts.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim gets the job but his lack of experience
and deteriorating character may ruin his chances.

EXT. JIM’S CAR – DAY

Jim gets into his car. Ted, one of the two soldiers Jim saved
during the church killings during the war approaches with a Bible
under his arm. Ted tells Jim that he will soon face a reckoning about
what really happened in the French church.

Scene Arc: From Jim going to his big interview to apprehension
over Ted’s remarks.

Essence: Jim’s life may soon change – for the worse.

Conflict: Instead of Ted being grateful to Jim for saving his
life he threatens to destroy him.

Subtext: In a “chance meeting”, Ted gives Jim a veiled threat
that he’ll snitch on him to the Feds.

Hope/fear: We hope Ted is just a shell shocked loony. We fear
Ted’s threat will become reality.

INT. TV STATION – DAY

Jim gets the job. He’ll be the station’s new Crime Reporter.

Scene Arc: From Jim’s early interview stumbles to him winning the
job.

Essence: Jim’s Medal of Honor lands him his dream job. He’s the next Edward R. Murrow!

Conflict: Having no journalism experience vs. the high pressure
of TV reporting.

Subtext: Jim’s outwardly confident. Deep down he knows it’ll be a
miracle if he lasts.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will be a hit with viewers. We fear he’ll
flop.

INT. LOCAL CASINO – EVENING

Jim’s on a losing streak at the poker table.

Scene Arc: From Jim welcomed as a war hero to him racking up big
gambling losses.

Essence: Jim’s background can only take him so far.

Conflict: Jim needs to win to pay off Jane’s medical bills but
he’s losing big.

Subtext: The pit boss makes a phone call while watching Jim
gamble. Something’s up.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can control his gambling. Our fear is it
will get worse.

INT. DINER – EVENING

Jim and Jim Jr. eat dinner. Carol
Newhouse drops change at the cash register. Jim picks up all the
coins. She recognizes him as the local war hero. There’s seems to be
a connection.

Scene Arc: From a lonely widower having dinner with his son to
meeting a possible new love interest.

Essence: Jim’s chance meeting with Carol – a local Las Vegas
investigative newspaper reporter – could change the direction of
his life.

Conflict: Jim is torn between dating again soon after his wife’s
death or moving on. And Carol’s a competitor on the local news
scene.

Subtext: Carol’s dropping of coins at the cash register seemed intentional.

Hope/fear: We hope they fall in love. We fear she may not be who
she says she is.

EXT. CRIME SCENE – DAY

Jim’s first assignment. A liquor store holdup. The owner is
covered by a bloody sheet. Jim’s unfazed but stumbles through his
stand up. Pure amateur. Oh-oh…

Scene Arc: From Jim’s arrival to the crime scene to him
butchering his report and taking a swig from his whiskey flask.

Essence: Jim isn’t fazed by horrific violence. But he has no on-air
skills.

Conflict: Jim’s TV handsome and likable but not ready for the
job.

Subtext: His war experience could save him.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim won’t get fired. We fear he will.

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – EVENING

“Sal”, a local Vegas crime boss
calls Jim to collect a large gambling debt. Sal’s friendly but
intimidating. Jim claims the casino okay-ed a large credit line
because of his notoriety.

Scene Arc: From Jim enjoying time with his son to him getting a
threatening phone call from a mobster.

Essence: Jim’s gambling addiction is becoming life threatening.

Conflict: Will Jim stop gambling? How can he pay the debt?

Subtext: Sal seems to know too much about Jim’s past. Is he
really who he says he is?

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can pay up and not get hurt. We fear he’ll
continue.

INT. JIM’S BEDROOM – DAY

Jim sorts through Jane’s documents and finds a strange card. He
calls the number. It’s the FBI.

Scene Arc: From Jim cleaning up Jane’s things to learning she
was in contact with the FBI.

Essence: Jim’s being watched by the FBI.

Conflict: Will Jim be arrested? Is he really a war criminal?

Subtext: Jane was working with the FBI behind his back.

Hope/fear: We hope he isn’t under investigation and is the hero
we think he is. We fear he’s not.

INT. TV STATION – DAY

Jim learns his News Director boss has
been replaced by blond-hair blue eyed Carl, a German/American.

Scene Arc: From Jim starting a new work day to learning he has a
new boss.

Essence: Jim’s working world is changing.

Conflict: After fighting Germans in Europe Jim has deep
resentment working with Carl.

Subtext: Jim and Carl don’t like each other.

Hope/fear: We hope they can get along. We fear Jim will get
fired.

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Jim and his son eat dinner and talk baseball. Sal calls. He tells
Jim he has ten days to pay his debt or the next murder story he’ll
cover will involve a family member.

Scene Arc: From dinner with his son to getting an impossible
deadline to meet and a death threat.

Essence: Maximum pressure on Jim already reeling from Jane’s
death and a high pressure job.

Conflict: Can Jim meet Sal’s deadline?

Subtext: It’s an impossible demand with his low salary.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can somehow pay Sal. We fear he can’t.

EXT. GAS STATION – NIGHT

DING! The gas tank’s full. Jim, wearing a fake beard takes payment
from the driver. The driver recognizes him and says he’s doing a
great job on TV.

Scene Arc: From Jim moonlighting wearing a disguise to being
recognized by a viewer.

Essence: Jim must work a lousy second job to pay Sal. Honest guy
trying to survive.

Conflict: A war hero and popular TV Crime Reporter risks
embarrassment working at a gas station.

Subtext: Jim will do whatever it takes to work through it all.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will get a raise at the TV station and
won’t need to moonlight. We fear he won’t.

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING

Jim Jr., in his wheelchair watches a TV cartoon, giggles. But
Sal’s threatening phone calls have pushed Jim to the brink. Jim
slowly approaches his son from behind, about to strangle him. Just
inches from the boys neck, Jim stops and breaks down.

Scene Arc: From Jim crying at the table to nearly killing his
son.

Essence: Jim’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Conflict: Jim’s torn between fighting to survive and giving up
hope.

Subtext: Jim has hit rock bottom. But he’s still strong enough to
continue.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can turn his life around. We fear it will
get worse.

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Sal calls Jim. He starts off with a knock-knock joke and then goes
off the rails demanding payment. Jim says he was a crack shot in the
army and offers his services as a hitman to pay off his debt. They
agree to meet.

Scene Arc: From an even crazier Sal collection call to a Jim
proposing an in-person meeting.

Essence: Jim’s had enough of Sal and his threats.

Conflict: What will happen when they meet?

Subtext: Jim will kill Sal.

Hope/fear: We hope they can work things out. We fear Jim will get
killed.

INT. JIM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Jim’s in bed with Carol. He asks her for help investigating Sal.
She’s reluctant but agrees.

Scene Arc: From playful canoodling to Jim asking her for help.

Essence: Jim uses his relationship with her to find and expose
his tormentor.

Conflict: Will she help Jim? He’s a competitor after all. And is
she really in love with him?

Subtext: Jim fully trusts her. Should he?

Hope/fear: We hope Carol will help uncover Sal’s real identity.
We fear she has her own agenda.

EXT. PARK – NIGHT

Jim, waiting for Sal checks the bullets in his gun. Sal never
shows up.

Scene Arc: From Jim waiting for Sal to Jim driving away.

Essence: Sal reneges on his agreed meeting with Jim.

Conflict: Why didn’t Sal show up? What will Jim do now?

Subtext: Sal didn’t live up to his word. That can’t be good.

Hope/fear: We hope Sal decided the whole thing isn’t worth it. We
fear Sal has bigger plans.

EXT. ALLEY – DAY

Jim and his cameraman are at a murder scene. A cop pulls the sheet
off the victim – it’s Jim’s father. Jim unemotional.

Scene Arc: From Jim talking sports with a detective to
realizing the victim is his father.

Essence: Sal’s threat has become reality.

Conflict: Jim desperately needs Carol’s help but has to keep
their relationship a secret.

Subtext: Why wasn’t Jim distraught seeing his dead father?

Hope/fear: We hope Jim finds Sal soon. We fear that he won’t and
Sal will kill again.

INT. CASINO – EVENING

Jim gambles at the poker table. But it’s as if he’s at the casino
for the first time.

Scene Arc: From Jim entering the casino to him leaving having
lost even more.

Essence: Jim’s gambling habit is getting worse.

Conflict: Jim is allowed to continue to gamble despite his
previous losses and debt.

Subtext: Why does the casino continue to allow him gamble?

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will come to his sense and stop drinking
and gambling. We fear that he won’t.

INT. CARL’S OFFICE – DAY

Carl berates Jim over one of his crime reports. Jim’s flashback:
Carl is a German officer interrogating him.

Scene Arc: From Carl berating Jim to Jim storming out of his
office in a cold sweat.

Essence: Jim has developed a deep hatred for his boss.

Conflict: Is Jim losing his grip on reality? Will he get violent
with Carl?

Subtext: Jim’s flashback means the war really didn’t end for
him.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim regains his composure and deals with his
problems. We fear he may be beyond that point.

INT. BAR – DAY

A customer is dead, beaten to death. A
cop pulls back the sheet: It’s Carl! Carol is there covering the
story as well.

Scene Arc: From just another crime scene to Jim realizing the
victim is his boss.

Essence: Sal won’t stop unless he’s stopped!

Conflict: Jim must keep his cool after seeing his father and
boss killed.

Subtext: It’s odd that this happened right after Jim’s
contentious meeting with Carl.

Hope/fear: We hope catches or kills Sal. We fear Jim’s his next
victim.

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

The wooden Knock-Hockey puck scores a goal for Jim Jr. The
doorbell rings – it’s the cops. Jim’s arrested. He grabs a cops gun
and shoots himself.

Scene Arc: From Jim’s day off bonding with his son to his
arrest and possible suicide.

Essence: The walls have closed in on him and he might die.

Conflict: Will he live? Why was he arrested? What will happen to
Jr.?

Subtext: Jim’s involved in the two murders.

Hope/fear: We hope he’s not involved. We fear he is.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Jim’s wounded but will live. Carol is
by his side along with a few cops. We see Carol’s ID badge: “FBI”.

Scene Arc: From Jim awakening from an operation to his formal
arrest and an explanation of all that happened to him .

Essence: Jim hallucinated Sal – Carol tells him Sal was a real
gangster who died 20 years before. His subsequent visits to the casino were alos imagined by him. Jim — delusional — also murdered his
father and his boss. But her investigation shows Jim was indeed a war
hero – the teens he killed in the French church were indeed
German’s who were out of uniform.

Conflict: Jim can’t believe Carol wasn’t who she said she was.

Subtext: Jim’s betrayed by Carol more than anything else.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will be given some consideration after having been exonerated for his war
service. We fear he’ll face life in prison or the death penalty.

[Ron Chepesiuk]

Ron’s Scene Requirements

VISION: I want the success and recognition of being an in demand, A-list screenwriter who writes successful films that are financially profitable, award winning and of enduring quality.

.What I learned from doing this is that planning is the key to composing a well structured screenplay.

2. List Slugline and short description of what happens in the scene.

After writing 14 scripts, I have my own method for scene requirements, a modification of this assignment.

` MAIL ORDER GODMOTHER

Ext- Street- New York City- Night

The godfather and wife arrive at the restaurant. It is a happy occasion: their 25^th wedding anniversary.

Int. Restaurant –New York City- Day

The party is on. Godfather makes toast to the occasion. The godfather’s son flirts with pretty waitress.

Later at the Party

Godfather asks where is his son, who is responsible for his security?

Int. Restaurant – Pantry – New York City – Night

We see son having sex with the pretty waitress.

Int. Restaurant-New York City – Day

Godfather and wife leave.

Ext. Car – New York City Night

Godfather and wife ambushed. Attack on car.

Int. Restaurant – New Year City – Night

Son hears the gunshots. Hurriedly puts on his pants and makes it out the pantry door.

Ext. Street –New York City – Night

Shootout. Godfather’s wife killed. Godfather’s loyal mute consigliere throws himself in front of Godfather saves him. but is wounded severely. Son arrives but is too late.

Int. House –Rome, Italy- Day

Lucia is on the computer surfing the mail order bride sites. Her neurotic mother yells at her to help her with dinner. You need to help your poor overworked mother.

Ext. Street – New York City

The shootout is now a crime scene. Detective Jack Roache arrives. Godfather mum about details of shooting

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Godfather comes to see how consigliere recovering. There is obviously a bond.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – New York City- Day

Godfather meets with son. Angry with him. I could have been killed. Takes his role as head of his security away. Son fumes. Storms out of meeting.

Int. Taxi—Rome, Italy – Night

Lucia and boyfriend in the car. They argue. He wants to marry. She doesn’t. Boyfriend slaps Lucia, bruises her.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion –NewYork City- Night

Godfather meets with informant who tells him that Paulie Colosimo of a rival mafia was the one who tried to kill him.

Int. Colosimo Social Club – NewYear City – Night

Godfather’s son warns Colosimo via phone of forthcoming attack.

Int/Ext. Colosimo Club House – New York City – Night

Godfather attacks but Colosimo survives.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion- New York City- Night

An angry Colosimo calls Godfather. They are at war.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion –New York City- Day

Godfather is despondent at wife’s death. Consigliere tries to cheer him up. Godfather goes on computer. He stumbles on to Lucia at a mail order bride sight. He is enamored by her picture and how much she looks like his wife. Strikes up a message chat.

MONTAGE: LUCIA AND GODFATHER COREPSONDING ON INTERNET

Connection blossoms.

Int. Car- New York City – Night

Son secretly meets with Colosimo. They strike a deal to get rid of godfather.

Int. Lucia’s House – New York City – Day

Godfather calls Lucia, Says he is coming to see her.

Int., Restaurant –Rome, Italy – Night

Lucia tells her boyfriend, Ricco, she want to break up. They argue. Ricco learns about Godfather. Angry with Ricco, Lucia dashes out of Cafe,

Ext. Street –Rome, Italy -Night

Lucia continues to argue with boyfriend. She starts to walk away. He beats her up. Leaves her there.

Int. Hospital – Rome, Italy- Day

Lucia is being released. She doesn’t want to press charges. Her mother is there. Berates her, Blames her for her beating.

Ext. Airport- Rome, Italy – day

Godfather arrives in Italy. Lucia is not at airport. She is at home recovering.

Int. Lucia’s House –Rome, Italy – Day

Godfather arrives at Lucia’s house. Sees she has been beate. Finds out it is Ricco, her boy friend. Angry, godfather wants to talk to him, but Lucia dissuades him.

Int. Restaurant- Rome, Italy – Night

Lucia and godfather dine. He is enamored with Lucia. He proposes marriage. She accepts. Lucia’s boyfriend spies on them,

Int. Lucia’s House- Patio – Rome, Italy – Day

Ricco comes to see Lucia. He is desperate. Doesn’t want her to go to America. He grabs Lucia. She twists him around. Pushes off the second floor patio. Ricco break his neck and is dead. Lucia, horrified, calls godfather.

Later

Godfather shows up, says he will fix it.

Int. Car – Rome, Italy – Day

Godfather meets with police chief, pays him off.

Ext/Int. Airplane- Rome, Italy – Day

Lucia, Godfather and his entourage leave for the U.S.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – New York City

Godfather introduces Lucia to his crime family. There is a little uneasiness and resentment. Lucia introduced to Godfather’s mother who appears to have Alzheimer’s. but feigns it. Lucia meets son. There is spark there.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – Dining Room – New York City – Day

Lucia, Godfather, son and mother have dinner. Son plays with Lucia’s leg under table. She gently pushes his hand away.

Ext. Godfather’s Mansion – New York City – Day

The godfather surprises Lucia’s with a brand new Mercedes.

MONTAGE: SON ATTEMPTING TO SEDUCE LUCIA

In various settings. Lucia tries her best to resist.

Ext. Parking Lot –New York City- Night

Godfather and Colosimo meet to work out differences. Uneasy. Meeting ends with guns drawn. Detective Roache watches from a distance

Int. Godfather’s Mansion- Living Room – New York City- Day

Godfather suggests that he is busy today and why don’t Son take Lucia shopping. She looks bored. Lucia hesitates but agrees.

Int. Car – New York City – Day

Son stops the car and makes out with Lucia

Int. Hotel – Room- New York City – Day

Lucia and the son make love. Lucia feels guilty, but she has fallen for the son

Int. Car – New York City – Night

The son and Colisimo. Son tells him about his plan to seduce Lucia and get her to help kill Godfather. Colosimo agrees to son’s plan.

Int. Concert Hall- New York City – Night

Godfather and Lucia attend a concert. Godfather looks happy. Lucia looks troubled, guilty.

Ext/Int. Car – New York City – Night

Godfather and Lucia leave concert.

Int. Restaurant – New York City – Night

At dinner, Godfather gives Lucia beautiful diamond ring, professes his love, further troubling Lucia.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – Bedroom -New York City – Night

Son and Lucia meet secretly to plan murder of godfather. Son says they will use polonium 210, highly radioactive substance for which no antidote. Put it in his tea. Lucinda makes excuses for postponing. Son will not hear it.

The door to the bedroom is open. Godmother’s mother walks by and hears the plot. Sneaks away, but makes noise. Son goes to the door, sees grandmother sneaking away.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – Study – New York City – Day

Godfather’s mother tries to warn Godfather about plot. He dismisses her.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion- Bedroom – New York City – Night

Lucia puts polonium 210 in Godfather’s tea. Brings it you to him. She purposely spills the poisoned drink. He does not drink it.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – Bedroom – New York City- Night

Lucia makes excuses for not poisoning husband.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion- Mother’s bedroom – New York City – Night

Son confronts Grandmother about what was she doing outside bedroom and what did she hear. She tells him she knows about his plot to kill godfather. They argue. He pushes grandmother off balcony to her death.

Int. Church – New York – Day

Funeral of Mother. Godfather has a stroke.

Ext. Streets of New York – Day

Ambulance rushes godfather to hospital. Lucia is beside him.

Int. Hospital- New York City – Day

Godfather recovering. Lucia is at his side. Son comes in. Says to her we are going to have to have to end this once and for all.

Int. Colosimo Social Club – New York City- Night

Son and Colosimo meet. They agree that Colosimo’s men will go hospital and kill the godfather.

Int. Hospital –New York City- Night

Lucia has made her decision. She is going to save the Godfather. She puts him a chair and whisks him out of hospital room and out of hospital.

Ext. Street – New York City – Night

In the ambulance parking lot, Lucia puts godfather in car. Across the street detective Roache and a colleague watch.

Ext. Colosimo Social Club- New York City – Night

Two of Colosimo’s men leave to go and kill Godfather. The son is with them. They arrive at hospital just as Lucia is putting godfather in car. She seems them and speeds out with them in pursuit. Detective Roache picks up the chase.

Lucia drives down a dead end street. They have her cornered. She reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out a glock, gets out of car and positions herself. A shootout starts. She is almost out of bullets when Detective Roache arrives. Colosimo’s two men surrender. But Son makes a dash for freedom. Lucia chases. A shootout. Lucia kills Son. Godfather is okay.

Int. Godfather’s Mansion – Living room- New York City

Godfather in wheelchair. Meeting. Godfather tells crew while he is recovering Lucia will head the mafia.

Lucia and Godfather talk. He tells her he knew she was in a plot to kill him, but he had faith in her to do the right thing.

=================

[Monica Arisman]

SUBJECT: Monica’s scene requirements

Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.

What I learned from doing this assignment is how powerful the script will be after doing the last several assignments, with this assignment being the meat of each scene.

Scene Arc: Conall meets Harry but leaves without taking the mission.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Harry meets Conall at Harry’s office. Harry pitches a mission to Conall. Conall declines and leaves. Harry picks up the phone and makes a call.

Essence: Harry wants Conall to take a mission.

Conflict: Conall refuses the mission.

Sub-text: Conall doesn’t trust nor like Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can walk away. Fear for Conall if he doesn’t take the mission.

Scene Arc: From Conall’s trying to get into his burning house to accepting his family is dead.

EXT. HOUSE FIRE – DAY

Conall arrives back at his house. It’s on fire. Multiple fire trucks and police are there. The police prevent Conall from getting to the house. A black car down the street slowly drives by.

Essence: Harry wants Conall to do the mission so bad he kills Conall’s family in a fire.

Conflict: Conall vs emergency services to get to his family.

Sub-text: Harry set the fire to get Conall to take the mission.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can save his family. Fear Conall will be devastated by the death of his family.

Scene Arc: Conall meets Harry again at the graveyard.

EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

Conall lays flowers and small Irish flags at a grave. Stands. Looks off into the distance. Sees Harry at another grave. Conall saunters over to where Harry laying flowers on a grave.

Essence: Harry tries a different tactic to get Conall to do the mission.

Conflict: Conall suspects Harry isn’t telling him the whole truth.

Sub-text: With his family dead Conall suspects Harry set the fire but he needs proof.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall discovers Harry set the fire. Fear that Conall will end up dead.

Scene Arc: Meet at the bar to toast their families and end up at agreeing to another meeting at Harry’s office.

INT. BAR – DAY

Conall and Harry have a drink. Harry tries again to recruit Conall by showing him a picture of an artefact that can help humanity. And could probably answer the question who set the fire? Conall agrees to another meeting.

Essence: Will the artefact change Conall’s mind?

Conflict: Conall believes Harry is lying.

Sub-text: Harry sells Conall on the idea that the artefact will help humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall sees through Harry’s scheme. Fear he will die trying to get this artefact.

Scene Arc: From a cordial meeting to a detail of all of Conall’s ruthlessness and potential crimes.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

There are five other men present when Conall joins this meeting. One is Jay-the-Alien. Harry plays hardball as he details Conall’s ruthlessness and potential crimes.

Conall accepts the mission. To steal the artefact from a museum. He is to be accompanied by Jay. Conall and Jay leave.

Essence: They are going to get Conall to do this mission.

Conflict: Will Conall show them just how ruthless he can be?

Sub-text: Conall’s time as a Special Forces commander wasn’t all that heroic.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill them all right there.

LATER

Harry is left alone with the other four men. They tell Harry that if the mission fails he’s out because he’s too emotional over the death of his wife.

Harry pulls a gun and shoots one of them in the knee cap. Reminds them he’s the only intelligent one amongst them who can program the artefact to do what they need it to do.

Essence: Harry needs to exert his control over the elite.

Conflict: Harry is the only intelligent one to program the artefact.

Sub-text: The Elite are arrogant.

Hope/Fear: Hope Harry kills the Elite. Fear he’ll save his killing for Conall.

Scene Arc: The hacker is making mischief.

INT. DARK ROOM – NIGHT

A hooded figure sits behind numerous computer screens. The screens display financial data of some sort.

Essence: Hacker is stealing money.

Conflict: The hacker vs everyone he’s stealing from.

Sub-text: The hacker is stealing money.

Hope/Fear: Hope the hacker gets caught. Fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Conall sets off to steal the artefact.

INT. SUBURBAN – DAY

Conall and Jay drive along. Conall wants to know all about this artefact but Jay doesn’t answer him.

Essence: Conall and Jay set off to steal the artefact.

Conflict: Conall and Jay when Jay won’t tell him what the artefact really does.

Sub-text: Conall’s knows they’re all lying to him.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill Jay.

Scene Arc: Conall’s plan to steal the artefact but Jay tells him he’s already stolen it.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall’s security firm’s offices. Gathers his team to plan the mission. He’s confident they can be in and out in five days. Jay looks around.

Jay tells them the artefact isn’t where Harry thinks it is. Because he stole it. Conall pulls a gun on Jay demanding to know what his purpose is on the mission. Jay pushes a button on his cuff bracelet and Conall’s gun melts.

Essence: Stealing the artefact.

Conflict: Jay’s already stolen it.

Sub-text: Who is Jay? Why did he steal the artefact?

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill Jay.

Scene Arc: Going to where Jay has set up the artefact.

INT. SUBURBAN – NIGHT

Conall, Jay and a few other team members drive to where Jay has hidden the artefact.

Essence: Conall gets to see what this artefact looks like.

Conflict: Conall doesn’t trust Jay.

Sub-text: Conall plans to kill Jay.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill everyone if the artefact is a myth.

Scene Arc: From the team entering the cave to hunting down the missing artefact.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Jay leads the team deep into the cave through steel doors with major security.

Essence: They are looking for the artefact.

Conflict: Will Conall believe Jay even had the artefact?

Sub-text: What’s so special about this artefact that someone else wants it?

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall believes Jay. Fear Conall has a new target to kill.

INCITING INCIDENT: The artefact is gone.

The team search the cave for the artefact. Jay shows Conall he had it through the review of the security footage. But how did they get in? Conall says he knows one of the perpetrators. And he knows where to find him.

Scene Arc: Conall telling Harry the artefact has been stolen and demanding to know what it really is.

EXT. DESERTED ROAD – DAY

Conall meets Harry to tell him the artefact has been stolen.

Essence: Conall knows Harry is lying.

Conflict: Conall refuses to continue until he knows what this artefact is.

Sub-text: Conall’s knows who stole the artefact but isn’t talking.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall get his answers. Fear he’ll give up the mission and then get killed.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – DAY

The Elite are furious with Harry because someone stole the artefact. Harry puts his gun on the table and wants to know which one of them financed merc’s to steal the artefact.

Essence: What is so special about this artefact?

Conflict: Harry versus the rest of the Elite.

Sub-text: There’s a game within the game being played by the Elite.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact can be retrieved. Fear the artefact is gone.

Act 2:

Scene Arc: From the safety of the security base to the interior of CERN back to the base.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall tells Jay, he suspects agents from CERN stole the artefact.

Essence: What is so special about this artefact?

Conflict: They’re going to confront CERN and steal the artefact back.

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can retrieve the artefact. Fear he might be killed.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Jay tells Conall he can get them into CERN. Jay pushes a button on his cuff bracelet and disappears. Then re-appears.

Essence: Who is Jay? What is so special about this artefact?

Conflict: Conall says they have to break-in. Jay says they don’t.

Sub-text: Jay is more than he appears.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can retrieve the artefact. Fear the artefact will end up in the wrong hands.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall tells Jay he will buy them airplane tickets to Geneva. Jay tells him they don’t need a plane when you have a saucer!

Essence: Need to get the artefact at all costs.

Conflict: Jay reveals who he is throwing Conall’s belief system into chaos.

Sub-text: Conall knows Jay can help him get his family back.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can retrieve the artefact. Fear the artefact will end up in the wrong hands.

EXT. CERN – NIGHT

Jay lands the saucer close to the CERN facility at night. Jay takes Conall’s arm and they disappear into the CERN facility.

Essence: Using alien technology to recover alien technology.

Conflict: Will they get caught?

Sub-text: CERN is going to get a surprise when people just appear out of thin air.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can retrieve the artefact. Fear the artefact will be destroyed and Jay with it.

INT. CERN – NIGHT

Conall and Jay re-appear inside. Conall wants to know where they go from there. Jay checks his bracelet to get the direction of the artefact. He put a tracker on it.

Essence: They are there to get the artefact.

Conflict: Will they get caught?

Sub-text: Conall doesn’t know what to expect.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can retrieve the artefact. Fear they’ll get caught.

INT. CERN – NIGHT

Jay pushes buttons on his cuff bracelet, grabs Conall and they disappear. And re-appear where the artefact is. It is hooked up to a huge quantum computer. Alarms go off.

Essence: Stealing back the artefact.

Conflict: Fight CERN for the artefact.

Sub-text: Conall and Jay have the element of surprise.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can retrieve the artefact. Fear they’ll be killed trying to steal it back.

INT. CERN – NIGHT

Conall grabs Jay’s arm and they disappear.

Essence: The artefact has been retaken.

Conflict: Get out of CERN alive.

Sub-text: Conall and Jay have the element of surprise.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can retrieve the artefact. Fear they’ll be killed trying to steal it back.

INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Conall and Jay return to the secret security base. Conall gives Jay a bowl of strawberry ice cream.

Essence: Everyone is safe and the artefact can be set up again.

Conflict: Conall wants to know what the artefact really does.

Sub-text: Conall will take the artefact hostage until he gets answers.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall will get answers. Fear he’ll get them by force.

Scene Arc: Setting up the artefact and finding out what it really does.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall demands to know what is so important about the artefact.

Essence: The artefact changes timelines.

Conflict: Conall and Jay will have to fight Harry and friends.

Sub-text: Conall knows he has to keep the artefact away from Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can keep the artefact safe. Fear they’ll be killed by the Elite.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall sets up the artefact to the quantum computer as per Jay’s instruction. Gets a call from Harry to meet.

Essence: The artefact in action.

Conflict: What will Harry do?

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can keep the artefact safe. Fear he might be killed.

EXT. DESERTED ROAD – NIGHT

Conall meets Harry on a deserted road. He searches Harry for weapons then blindfolds him and takes him to the secret base.

Essence: Conall doesn’t trust Harry but he is paying the bills.

Conflict: Will Harry try to take the artefact?

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact especially the Elite.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall protect Jay and the artefact. Fear he may have to kill to accomplish it.

INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Conall brings Harry in while Jay is programming the artefact. Action Conall: Confident. Action Harry: Reverent. Action Jay: Cooperates but is guarded.

Essence: To demonstrate what the artefact does.

Conflict: Will Harry try to take it?

Sub-text: Conall wonders how you would know if the timeline had been changed.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can protect the artefact. Fear he’ll have to destroy it.

INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Jay shows Harry how to ask the artefact a question. Harry asks his question.

Essence: The artefact can give answers to specific questions.

Conflict: Will Harry get the answer he seeks?

Sub-text: Conall is suspicious of Harry and the artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can protect the artefact. Fear he might be killed.

INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Harry looks at the answer, doesn’t like it. Tries again. Same answer. Harry yells and screams that Conall and Jay did something to the artefact. Jay throws Harry across the room without laying a finger on him.

Essence: Harry doesn’t like the answers the artefact gives.

Conflict: Will Harry destroy the artefact?

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can protect the artefact. Fear Jay might have to kill Harry.

Midpoint Turning Point: The artefact keeps giving the same answer –the timeline ends in 2030.

Scene Arc: From Conall returning Harry to the meeting place to Harry planning on stealing the artefact from Conall.

EXT. DESERTED ROAD – NIGHT

Conall returns Harry to their meeting place. Conall tells Harry he knows what he’s trying to do and he’ll stop him.

Essence: What to do about Harry?

Conflict: Conall tells Harry he knows what he’s trying to do.

Sub-text: Conall has to stop Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can stop Harry. Fear he might be killed.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – DAY

Harry gathers his group. Conall and Jay must die and the artefact recovered so he can program it to give them the answer he wants.

Essence: Plan to get the artefact away from Conall?

Conflict: They’re going to steal the artefact.

Sub-text: Once Harry has the artefact he will dispose of the rest of them.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can stop Harry. Fear he might be killed.

Scene Arc: From Conall studying the artefact to leaving it for the Elite.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall needs time to study the artefact to try and save his family. Action Conall: Obstructive. He disguises this with trying to figure out why it keeps giving the same answer.

Essence: Can the artefact save Conall’s family?

Conflict: Will Conall be able to program it without Jay knowing?

Sub-text: Conall thinks the artefact can bring his family back.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can reprogram the artefact. Fear Jay will stop him.

INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Jay offers to help Conall but first they must stop Harry.

Essence: Jay knows what Conall is trying to do.

Conflict: Will Jay help Conall?

Sub-text: Jay knows more than he lets on.

Hope/Fear: Hope Jay helps Conall. Fear Harry will stop them.

INT. CAFÉ – DAY

Conall brings Jay to a café and they order ice cream. Jay watches the people play on their phones. Reveal C: People on their phones – this is what contributes to humankind’s downfall.

Essence: Can the artefact save humanity?

Conflict: Why save a bunch of robots from themselves?

Sub-text: Is humanity worth saving?

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact can save the future. Fear the future isn’t worth saving.

INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Jay knows the Elites are coming so he re-programs the artefact. Then leaves with Conall.

Essence: The artefact is in danger.

Conflict: Will Conall be able to save the artefact?

Sub-text: Need to keep the artefact away from Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can save the artefact. Fear Harry will win.

INT. SECURITY BASE – NIGHT

Harry leads a mercenary team to storm the bunker but Conall and Jay are gone. The artefact remains but displays the future.

Essence: Can the artefact show Harry the future he wants?

Conflict: Will Harry be able to program it?

Sub-text: Harry thinks the artefact can make him king of the world.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry will get what he wants.

INT. SECURITY BASE – NIGHT

Harry dismantles the artefact. Him and his team take it and leave.

Essence: Will the artefact work for Harry?

Conflict: Will Harry get caught?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – NIGHT

Harry sets up the artefact but it keeps giving the same answer – the timeline ends in 2030.

Essence: Will the artefact work for Harry?

Conflict: What happens when the artefact doesn’t give Harry his answer?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is right. Fear Harry wins.

Act 3:

Scene Arc: From Harry having the artefact to Harry being taken down by Conall.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Conall gathers his team in Jay’s cave to plan the assault to get the artefact back.

Essence: The artefact is too dangerous to be in the hands of a madmen.

Conflict: Will Conall get the artefact away from Harry?

Sub-text: Harry doesn’t know Conall’s coming for him.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry kills Conall.

EXT. CAVE – NIGHT

As Conall and the team are going moving out another group of “assassin’s” show up. Gunfight ensues. Until Jay presses a button on his cuff bracelet and all the assassin’s guns melt.

Essence: Harry wants Conall and Jay dead.

Conflict: Will Conall survive?

Sub-text: The artefact is a dangerous item.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

INT. CAVE – LATER

Take an “assassin” hostage. Learn he’s been hired by Harry to kill Conall and Jay.

Essence: Harry has the artefact and has sent assassin’s to kill Conall and Jay.

Conflict: Will Conall and Jay find Harry?

Sub-text: Conall needs answers from the assassin.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall gets the answers. Fear he’ll kill the assassin.

Scene Arc: From the Elites coming to confront Harry to Harry killing them.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – NIGHT

The Elites come to Harry’s office. They tell him all their bitcoin accounts have been hacked. Harry kills them all.

Essence: Harry is still trying to get the artefact to work for him.

Conflict: Will Harry get caught?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power because he’s stolen all their money.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

Conall and Jay find Harry alone at his house trying to program the artefact. Action Conall: Violent. Hits Harry over the head and knocks him out. Action Jay: Concerned for the artefact. Looks it over while Conall deals with Harry.

Scene Arc: From Harry working on the artefact to it being taken over by Conall.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – LATER

Conall and Jay bust into Harry’s office. Lots of dead bodies. Jay takes over work on the artefact while Conall ties Harry up.

Essence: Has the artefact been compromised?

Conflict: Will Conall kill Harry?

Sub-text: Harry did something to the artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope the timeline is safe. Fear Harry has corrupted the present timeline.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Jay turns to Conall and Harry demanding to know what he did. Harry sobs as he gets beat up because he doesn’t know the answer. Reveal E: Intriguing Moment – Dilemma – what to do about Harry?

Essence: The artefact shows all timelines happening simultaneously.

Conflict: Will Conall kill Harry?

Sub-text: Harry did something to the artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope the timeline is safe. Fear Harry has corrupted the present timeline.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The Timeline has been changed but will it be for the better. Intriguing Moment – Hope/Fear – what will the new timeline bring?

Act 4:

Scene Arc: From Harry corrupting the timeline to Jay fixing it.

Climax:

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Conall works on trying to re-program the artefact. But the Earth shakes splitting the artefact into two separate artefacts.

Essence: The artefact takes on a life of its own.

Conflict: Conall tries to re-program the artefact.

Sub-text: The artefact is sending a message to humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can reverse the damage. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

A new timeline has emerged. But what does this mean? Which one is the real timeline? But then what is real? Harry gleeful because he’s taking credit for the new timeline and he thinks he’s won.

Essence: Another timeline has emerged.

Conflict: Which timeline is the original timeline?

Sub-text: The artefact is sending a message to humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can merge the timelines back into the original one. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – LATER

Harry’s group of hired guns show up. Harry tells Conall he set the fire that killed his family.

Essence: The artefact is at risk from the Elite’s.

Conflict: Harry set the fire. Will Conall kill him?

Sub-text: The artefact is sending a message to humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall kills the Elite’s. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

The new timeline appears to give Harry the answer he finally wants. He shows the Elites their future. He orders the execution of Conall and Jay.

Essence: The timeline must be restored.

Conflict: Will Conall survive?

Sub-text: Harry has lost he just doesn’t realize it yet.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can reverse the damage. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Jay pushes another button on the second artefact and it merges back into one. A countdown begins.

Essence: Jay is about to give Harry just what he wanted.

Conflict: Jay’s cuff bracelet of doom!

Sub-text: The timelines must merge back into one to move forward.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall needs to trust Jay. Fear the timelines cannot be merged back – what happens then?

Resolution:

INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Conall gives Harry a choice – die or choose the new timeline.

Essence: Conall gives Harry a choice.

Conflict: Conall’s more than happy to end Harry.

Sub-text: Conall’s not as ruthless as he’s been made out to be.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall kills Harry. Fear Harry choses the new timeline.

INT. SUBURBAN – EARLY MORNING

Conall and Jay the artefact into Conall’s vehicle. He drives by to show Jay where he lived. The house is there in one piece. Conall screeches to a halt.

Essence: The artefact and the timeline is safe.

Conflict: Conall and Jay must part ways.

Sub-text: Jay changed the timeline for his friend.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall’s family is safe. Fear it’s a trick

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Conall races into the house. He finds his wife and kids making breakfast. Reveal H: Conall finds his wife and kids alive – the timeline has changed. Jay did this for Conall.

Essence: The mission is completed.

Conflict: Conall is emotional something he’s never been.

Sub-text: Jay manipulated the timeline for his friend.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall’s family is safe. Fear Jay’s manipulation changed the present.

EXT. NEAR THE CAVE – NIGHT

Conall and his wife accompanies Jay to the cave. A portal is open where a ship awaits.

Essence: The world has changed.

Conflict: Will the change be for better or worse?

Sub-text: Conall never really had a friend and will miss Jay.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can start over. Fear the timeline change will make him lose his family all over again.

EXT. NEAR THE CAVE – NIGHT

Conall and his wife wave good-bye to Jay. Jay’s ship enters the portal. The portal closes.

Essence: Jay is gone and Conall must continue the fight.

Conflict: Man vs machine (needs to be introduced sooner!)

Sub-text: Conall must determine that the catastrophe has been averted.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall continues. Fear that the timeline change has made things worse.

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Scene Requirements

My Vision: I will work hard to become a well-respected writer who gets my movies produced and has enough work to keep me busy and keep the lights on.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the importance of making sure that you have enough intriguing moments in each act to keep the audience engaged with the story.

1. Ext. Forest – Night

A father checks on his kids in their tent.

Scene Arc: Goes from checking on his kids to returning to his tent.

Essence: The dad is checking on his kids.

Conflict: Will the kids stay asleep, or will he wake them up?

Subtext: The dad doesn’t know the danger that is coming.

Hope/fear: We hope they stay asleep. We’re afraid they will wake up.

2. Int. Club – Night

Claire parties in the club.

Scene Arc: She dances in the middle of the floor to her doing lines in the bathroom.

Essence: show Claire as a party girl.

Conflict: she’s breaking the law.

Subtext: she’s hiding a deep wound.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll be alright. We fear she will get hurt.

3. Ext. Forest – Night

Something rips through the tent, and gnarled, clawed hands snatch her from the tent.

Scene Arc: From family sleeping peacefully to terror.

Essence: There’s something in the woods.

Conflict: A girl has been taken.

Hope/fear: We hope she’s alright. We fear she will be killed.

4. Int. Claire’s House – Day

Claire gets a call about the missing girl.

Scene Arc: starts with Claire in bed with a hangover and ends with her being reminded she has community service commitments.

Essence: to show Claire’s ability to lie easily.

Conflict: if she doesn’t go, she’ll end up in jail.

5. Ext. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc speaks with the missing girl’s parents about the mission.

Scene Arc: They start out hysterical, and the scene ends with them being hopeful they will get their daughter back.

Essence: Marc has a way with words.

Conflict: Marc is irritated with the parents badgering and asking him questions.

Subtext: Marc isn’t really concerned with finding the missing girl.

Hope/fear: We hope Marc will take the task seriously. We fear he won’t.

6. Ext. Claire’s House – Day

Claire loads up her gear and gets a warning from her neighbor about something evil in the woods.

Scene Arc: She starts out resigned to go, then brushes off her neighbor’s concerns.

Essence: Claire isn’t sure she should go.

Conflict: she thinks her neighbor is crazy.

Subtext: She thinks there is something to her neighbor’s warning.

Hope/fear: we hope the warning is a joke. We fear that it isn’t.

7. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc goes over the plan with his three men.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc alone in the tent. Ends with him discussing the plan with Scott, Adam, and Jacob.

Essence: Marc has a covert plan in place.

Conflict: Adam isn’t 100% on board with the plan.

Subtext: Marc isn’t being 100% truthful about why he wants the creature alive.

Hope/fear: We hope Adam will break with the plan. We fear he won’t.

8. Ext. Base Camp – Day

Claire arrives and finds out her niece is the missing girl.

Scene Arc: Claire starts off calm but ends up angry.

Essence: Claire finds out her niece/daughter is the missing girl.

Conflict: Claire is angry at her sister for not keeping her daughter safe.

Subtext: She’s afraid she’ll never see her daughter again.

Hope/fear: She’s wrong. A fear she’s not.

9. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc directs the search and rescue team on their mission. He gives his men an alternate mission.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc speaking to all of the volunteers. Ends with him reiterating the plan to his three men.

Essence: Marc ensures that the three men know the desired outcome.

10. Ext. Base Camp Tent – Day

Claire partners up with her former best friend for the search efforts. She lies to her, but the best friend knows she’s lying.

Scene Arc: The scene starts with Claire and Lexi separate and ends with them working together.

Essence: Claire needs to start mending fences.

Conflict: Claire lies to Lexi, and Lexi knows it.

Subtext: Claire is lying.

Hope/fear: Hope is they can work together; fear that they can’t and it will jeopardize the mission.

11. Ext. Mountain Trail – Day

Claire and Lexi look for the missing girl and talk about the past.

Scene Arc: Claire and Lexi start off the search in awkward silence and end the scene reminiscing on the past.

Essence: Claire is starting to work toward mending bridges.

Conflict: Claire continues to lie to Lexi.

Subtext: Lexi still doesn’t trust Claire.

Hope/fear: Hope they can become friends again, fear they won’t

12. Ext. Family Camp Site – Day

The search and rescue team reaches the site where the girl was taken. They search for clues.

Scene Arc: They arrive at the campsite to discover clues about where the creature went.

Essence: The team is making progress on finding the girl.

Conflict: No one can agree on what animal took the girl.

Subtext: Adam, Scott, and Jacob are looking for different clues than the rest of the group

Hope/fear: Hope they will find what they are looking for. Fear the won’t.

13. Ext. Forest – Day

Claire sneaks away to deal with her withdrawals by drinking from her flask.

Scene Arc: This starts with Claire having withdrawals. Ends with her being caught by Lexi.

Essence: to show Claire’s struggles.

Conflict: Claire is called out by Lexi.

Subtext: Claire continues to try and lie about her addiction.

Hope/fear: Hope that Claire being caught will help her change. Fear is that being caught will make things worse.

14. Ext. Forest – Day

Scott and Paul discuss the plan. Adam joins but has second thoughts, but will stay the course because of his loyalty to Marc.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam expressing his doubts. Ends with Adam falling in line with the plan.

Essence: to show Adam might not be completely loyal to Marc.

Conflict: between Adam and Scott, and Paul regarding the plan to bring the creature back alive.

Subtext: Adam is empathetic with Claire and her family.

Hope/fear: Hope Adam has a change of heart. Fear that he won’t.

15. Ext. Forest – Day

Paul wanders from the path and gets taken by the creature.

Scene Arc: Paul starts the scene alive and ends the scene missing/dead.

Essence: to show the danger they are all in.

Conflict: Paul is taken by the creature.

Hope/fear: Hope that Paul survives, Fear that he won’t.

16. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc hears that Paul is missing. He tells Adam he better not fail like before.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc checking in on the plan’s progress and ends with Marc in a rage and threatening Adam.

Essence: shows how callous Marc is.

Conflict: Marc is enraged and threatens Adam with spilling his secret.

17. Ext. Base Camp – Day

Marc informs the parents that a volunteer has gone missing.

Scene Arc: Starts out relatively calm and turns into chaos and despair.

Essence: to show that not everything is alright.

Conflict: between Marc and Maddie’s parents.

Subtext: Marc knows what happened to Paul.

Hope/fear: hope that Maddie is alive. Fear that she’s dead.

18. Ext. Camp Site – Night

The group must make camp for the night.

Scene Arc: Starts with the volunteers grumbling about having to make camp to them setting up tents and building a fire.

Essence: to isolate the group further.

Conflict: Adam has to convince the volunteers to stay.

Subtext: Adam doesn’t want to stay either, but he is loyal.

Hope/fear: hope they make it through the night. Fear they won’t.

19. Ext. Forest – Night

Claire slips out of the camp to drink.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire drinking from her flask. Ends with Claire sitting on the ground crying.

Essence: showing Claire’s cracks.

20. Ext. Camp Site – Night

Claire sits alone. Adam comes over to keep her company. They talk.

Scene Arc: starts with Claire sitting alone. Ends with her opening up a bit with Adam.

Essence: to get Claire to lower her guard and give Adam more to think about.

Conflict: between Claire and herself.

Subtext: Claire wants to open up but is afraid.

21. Int. Tent – Night

Claire lies in her tent, unable to sleep because she’s worried about her daughter.

Essence: Claire’s worry for her daughter.

Hope/fear: she’ll find her daughter. Fear she won’t.

22. Ext. Camp Site – Night

Adam sits alone at the fire. Claire joins him.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam alone at the fire, and ends with gunshots.

Essence: the quiet before the storm.

Hope/fear: the volunteers are alright. Fear they aren’t.

23. Ext. Forest – Night

The creature attacks. It swipes at Scott, injuring him, and takes Jacob.

Scene Arc: Starts with Scott and Jacob patrolling the area and ends with Scott injured and Jacob missing.

Essence: show the power of the creature.

Conflict: between the creature and Scott and Jacob.

Hope/fear: Hope they survive, fear they won’t.

24. Ext. Camp Site – Night

There’s a scream from the forest. Everyone gathers around the fire. Scott limps out of the trees and collapses. They drag him to his tent.

Scene Arc: Starts with confusion and ends in fear.

Essence: to rally the troops.

Conflict: No one can agree on what to do. Stay or go.

Hope/fear: Hope they will live, fear they won’t.

25. Int. Scott’s Tent – Night

Scott is in pain. Claire gives him a drink from her flask.

Scene Arc: Scott is in pain at the start, but by the end, he has a little relief.

Essence: to show Claire’s kindness.

Hope/fear: Hope Scott lives, fear he will succumb to his wounds.

26. Ext. Camp Site – Night

Adam organizes the group to search for Jacob. They fan out and disappear into the woods.

Scene Arc: starts with Adam giving orders and ends with everyone fanning out to search for Jacob.

Essence: to get the volunteers back in the woods and Claire alone with Scott.

Hope/fear: Hope they’ll find him. Fear he’s dead.

27. Int. Scott’s Tent – Night

Claire is trying to patch up Scott as best she can. He lets slip they are to bring the creature back alive no matter the cost.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire trying to help Scott and ends with her storming out of the tent.

Essence: to reveal Marc’s plan.

Conflict: Claire trying to get Scott to tell her more about the plan.

Subtext: Claire is afraid for her daughter.

Hope/fear: Hope that Adam will take Claire’s side. Fear that he won’t.

28. Ext. Scott’s Tent – Night

Claire confronts Adam. He admits their mission is to bring the creature back alive. There are more screams from the forest.

Scene Arc: starts with Claire confronting Adam and ends with fear for the others.

Essence: to kill off more people.

Conflict: Claire confronts Adam about Marc’s plan.

Subtext: Claire is terrified for her daughter now that there are two enemies.

Hope/fear: Hope that Adam will turn his back on Marc. Fear that he won’t.

29. Ext. Camp Site – Night

The remaining volunteers come back to the camp. They want to leave. Claire must try to convince them to continue the search. Adam tells her they have to get Scott back down the mountain.

Scene Arc: Starts with chaos and fear and ends with frustration and anger.

Essence: to give Claire a reason to go off on her own.

Conflict: between Claire and the remaining volunteers.

Subtext: Claire is afraid.

Hope/fear: Shew will convince them to continue looking for her daughter. Fear she won’t.

30. Ext. Forest – Night

Claire slips out of the camp unnoticed.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire silently packing while Adam tries to get everyone organized to go back down the hill and ends with Claire slipping out of camp undetected.

Essence: to force Claire into further isolation.

Conflict: Claire is in conflict with herself. She wants to remain with the group, but she can’t leave her daughter to die.

Hope/fear: We hope Adam will stop her. But fear that he won’t.

31. Ext. Camp Site – Day

Adam is preparing the group to descend the mountain with an injured Scott. He notices Claire isn’t there. Lexi saw her leave last night.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam leading the group out of the camp to him finding out that Claire left last night.

Essence: to have Adam torn between loyalty to Scott and Marc and his feelings for Claire and wanting to help her.

Conflict: it’s an internal conflict in Adam.

Subtext: Adam is terrified for Claire.

Hope/fear: Hope that he will go after her. Fear he won’t.

32. Ext. Base Camp – Day

Marc sees Scott being dragged down the hill on a stretcher. He confronts the volunteers.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc feeling confident about his plan to being enraged that it has been derailed by the creature.

Essence: to show the depth of Marc’s obsession.

Conflict: between Marc and the volunteers.

Subtext: He will not be defeated by the creature again.

Hope/fear: Hope he gives up his obsession. Fear he won’t.

33. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc gathers his weapons.

Scene Arc: He storms into the tent and leaves loaded with weapons.

Essence: Marc means business.

Hope/fear: Hope he won’t find Claire. Fear he will.

34. Ext. Base Camp – Day

The girl’s parents demand answers from Marc. He is cruel in his answers.

Scene Arc: The girl’s parents approach Marc hopeful and end devastated.

Essence: to show Marc’s cruelty and callousness.

Conflict: between Marc and the girl’s parents.

35. Ext. Camp Site – Day

Adam takes inventory and goes after Claire.

Scene Arc: starts with Adam packing his gear and ends with him disappearing into the woods.

Essence: to show Adam is going to go after Claire.

Hope/fear: Hope he finds her in time. Fear he won’t.

36. Ext. Forest – Day

Claire finds a cave. She watches for any movement.

Scene Arc: starts with her stumbling into a small clearing and ends with her watching the cave from the cover.

Essence: to show Claire reaching her destination.

Conflict: Claire is second-guessing her choice to come alone.

Hope/fear: Hope she’s successful in finding her daughter. Fear she will find her daughter dead.

37. Ext. Forest – Day

Adam is tracking Claire. Something snatches him.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam trekking through the woods looking at clues, and ends with him being knocked unconscious and dragged away.

Essence: Not even an experienced former Navy seal is safe from the creature.

Conflict: between Adam and the creature.

Hope/fear: Hope he’s okay. Fear he’s not.

38. Int. Cave – Day

Clare enters the cave and sees her daughter. She rushes over to see if she’s still alive. She is but barely. The creature returns, and Claire hides. Adam is tossed into the corner.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire feeling relief at finding her daughter and ends with her being terrified because the creature is back.

Essence: to show that there is still a lot that she has to overcome to get her daughter out.

Hope/fear: Hope Claire manages to evade detection. Fear that the creature will find her.

39. Ext. Camp Site – Day

Marc looks for clues as to which way Claire went.

Scene Arc: Marc looking for clues, ends with him disappearing into the woods hot on Claire’s trail.

Essence: to show Marc is on the trail.

Hope/fear: Hope that he doesn’t find her. Fear that he will.

40. Int. Cave – Day

Claire watches the creature. It leaves the cave.

Scene Arc: starts with the creature walking around the cave and ends with it leaving.

Essence: to give Claire an opening.

Hope/fear: Hope that she stays hidden. Fear that the creature will find her.

41. Ext. Cave – Day

Marc finds the cave. He watches the creature leave the cave.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc coming up to the cave and ends with him hiding as the creature leaves.

Essence: shows Marc has been successful in his pursuit.

Hope/fear: Hope that the creature finds Marc, fear that Marc will go undetected.

42. Int. Cave – Day

Claire runs over and checks on Adam. He’s alive.

Scene Arc: Starts with the creature leaving and ends with Claire being relieved that Adam is still alive.

Essence: All hope is not lost.

Conflict: Does Claire leave Adam and leave with her daughter, or does she stay and help Adam out as well?

Subtext: She really wants to leave Adam.

Hope/fear: Hope that she can get them out. Fear the creature will return before they can leave.

43. Ext. Cave – Day

Marc approaches the cave.

Scene Arc: Marc comes out of hiding to him entering the cave.

Essence: Marc has found the creature’s habitat, and Claire as well.

44. Int. Cave – Day

Claire hears Marc enter. She turns to find him pointing a gun at her. She tries to reason with him. Adam leaps up and knocks into Marc. The gun goes off and falls to the floor. Adam collapses. Claire picks up the gun. Marc rushes her. She shoots him. He falls to the ground dead.

Scene Arc: Claire is tending to Adam and her daughter to Marc’s death.

Essence: to put Claire up against Marc.

Conflict: Marc isn’t willing to let Claire walk out of the cave. He wants to use her as bait.

Hope/fear: Hope Claire will prevail. Fear she won’t.

45. Ext. Cave – Day

Claire steps outside and runs into the creature.

Scene Arc: Claire exits the cave for a breath to her, coming face to face with the creature.

Essence: to put Claire in the creature’s path.

Conflict: Claire must escape the creature.

Hope/fear: Hope she escapes. Fear she won’t.

46. Ext. Cliff Face – Day

Claire scrambles up the cliff face to try and get away from the creature. It chases her.

Scene Arc: starts with Claire scrambling up the cliff with the creature behind her and ends with her reaching the top.

Essence: the final chase scene that pushes Claire to her brink.

Conflict: the creature is chasing Claire

Hope/fear: Hope she will make it to the top. Fear she won’t.

47. Ext. Cliff Top – Day

Claire reaches the top. The creature advances. She steps out of the way at the last moment. The creature falls over the cliff.

Scene Arc: starts with the creature bearing down on her and ends with the creature dead at the bottom of the cliff.

Essence: Claire is triumphant.

Conflict: She finally faces off with the creature.

Hope/fear: Hope she wins. Fear she won’t.

48. Int. Cave – Day

Claire runs into the cave and finds Adam holding her daughter in his lap. She helps Adam with his wounds. The three leave.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire desperate to see her daughter and ends with the three leaving the cave alive.

Essence: Claire is stronger than anyone gave her credit for.

49. Ext. Base Camp – Night

The three emerge from the woods. The girl is reunited with her parents. Claire reconnects with her sister.

50. Int. Claire’s House – Night

Claire, Adam, her sister, brother-in-law, and niece gather around a table. There’s a breaking news story about Bigfoot being real.

[Joyce Davidson]

Joyce’s Scene Requirements

Vision: to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.

WIL: I see I have to have more conflict in action.

Genre: Action / Drama CARDENIO LOST

ACT One

EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY

Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.

INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

The professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications, but he wonders why Colin hasn’t applied.

Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications. Colin dislikes the disputes.

Hunter laughs.

Professor reads a tattered page from “Cardenio”, an old play script with notations in the margins, that he says is his proudest possession. The play, one of four Shakespeare’s late ones, was never published.

Professor will not divulge how he has these pages.

Professor asks Hunter, Laurel, and Ed “What is the essence of your dissertation?”

Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him. After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes.

Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.

Students break it up.

EXT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.

INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Director looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.

He welcomes an endowment from them, but he wonders why Professor Alexander has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat.

INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

Colin, uncomfortable with sexy women, tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks

She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.

He won’t cheat for her. A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.

Hunter and Delaney interrupt as Colin fumbles with the book.

Colin blames Hunter. Backs off from a scuffle.

Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.

INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY

Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.

Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.

Professor has no time for her.

The hissing continues.

When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Delaney startles him and he drops it, so she steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms.

Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.

When police question Colin, Delaney implicates him. The manuscript is filled with blank pages, so she is released. Since nothing is missing, Colin is set free and the case is ruled an accident caused by a faulty humidifier. Police will watch Colin.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Colin hopes he can find a way to communicate with the impaired professor.

His hope rises when professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.

EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

No classmates accept the police report. Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t explain where it is.

Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel brings straws in a cup.

Colin pulls the shortest straw.

Delaney fakes the next shorter straw to go with Colin after the manuscript, a real sacrifice since she dislikes him and what he believes.

If Colin quits his studies now, it is impossible for him to continue with his PHD, but they lean on his loyalty to the professor. He still refuses.

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

At a second attempt on Professor’s life, Colin chases a man and fails.

Delaney bumps into Colin and offers her help with the professor. Colin questions if she saw the intruder. He is not convinced. Still, he accepts Delaney’s help. And they collect acrostics and other symbols that may be clues to the attacker and the manuscript.

He uses an old device to help the professor communicate without speech. Colin asks him more questions. He rigs a contraption for the professor to signal “yes” or “no”.

Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. There they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.

With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.

Delaney insists she will accompany Colin to Europe. So neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.

INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY

Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.

EXT. SHIP – DAY

Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.

The Captain warns them police wait for them at their destination, so they jump overboard.

Delaney loses her suitcases.

ACT TWO

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.

She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly. She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she plans to get the manuscript first.

INT. HOTEL – DAY

The clues are right before them, and yet they can’t decipher them.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. Bragg is following them. Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.

Delaney meets Bragg secretly. Bragg threatens to kill Colin. Delaney agrees to give him whatever they find.

EXT./ INT. TRAIN – DAY

Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains. He realizes someone is still following them.

Bragg confronts Delaney on a train. Delaney sabotages their secrecy.

ACT THREE

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.

EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY

A priest sends them to to the town archives. An official hands them a scrap of the play script. It does exist somewhere in Spain.

EXT. TOWN BAR – DAY

In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play. Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio. Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.

EXT. TOWN – HOTEL – NIGHT

Their fighting is over, too. Delaney has softened. She dresses his cuts and soft talks. Colin is comfortable with her, cozy, romantic. He admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy. She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.

EXT. / INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY

Colin interviews a family in the mountains. They have old play scripts passed down about “Cardenio”. They share one with Colin. He tells Delaney. (He has to do something to earn this.) They rent them a cabin.

EXT. CABIN – DAY

She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her. She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Colin figures out clues to the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe. She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.

Delaney steals the manuscripts Colin has.

EXT./INT. CABIN – DAY

The cabin door is stuck from snow heaped on it. (?) Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg. Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans. She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her in their rented vehicle. When the car wrecks, they go on foot. Colin picks up Delaney’s trail. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues for Colin to reach her. He saves Delaney.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

They carry the manuscripts over the mountain to the tourist gondolas.

Bragg follows and attacks Colin. Bragg pulls a gun.

Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts. Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley. Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola. Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg. Colin climbs out to save him, but Bragg falls.

ACT FOUR

EXT. HOMELAND – DAY

Colin and Delaney sneak back home.

Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.

Ext. Hospital – Day

They visit Professor. Laurel wins the assistant’s position. She has found her calling is caring for the ailing man, who is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.

Professor signals that he agrees. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.

Professor sends them to Europe to track down other lost plays.

Colin and Delaney say goodbye to their classmates at the airport, as they fly to Europe.

[Amy Falkofske]

Amy’s Scene Requirements

Vision: I want to become known as an expert in the family-friendly genre and make a full-time living as a screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is looking for the essence, conflict, subtext and hope/fear in each scene helped me to think through my story more clearly.

Title: Unroyally in Love

Act 1:

INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

While visiting with her best friend, Chloe, Stephanie learns of a glitch in her schedule and declares that she’s not going to attend the masquerade ball, one of the biggest royal events of the year, until her mother the queen sets her straight.

Scene Arc: From calm and happy to enraged and then back to calm

Essence: Stephanie throws a royal fit

Conflict: Stephanie is mad at the person who messed up her schedule

Subtext: Stephanie is self-centered.

Hope/fear: That Stephanie will be nice and forgiving to the poor lady who messed up her schedule

INT. – BALLROOM – NIGHT

The queen introduces Stephanie and formerly opens up the ball.

Essence: Stephanie is introduced

INT. – BALLROOM -NIGHT

Stephanie dances with a handsome stranger at the masquerade ball, who turns out to be Prince Jack from the country next door who she hates. He acts like he doesn’t know who she is while simultaneously trying to woo her. She is insulted and demands to know who he is and how he got into the ball, until he reveals himself. Then she gets angry and the two spar verbally.

Scene Arc: Stephanie goes from enjoying the ball to getting into a fight with Jack.

Essence: Show that Stephanie and Jack have known each other their whole lives and they don’t like each other.

Conflict: Stephanie and Jack fight.

Subtext: Stephanie is a spoiled princess and Jack is arrogant and self-absorbed

Hope/fear: That Stephanie will like this handsome stranger that is coming on to her.

INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

A historian visits the castle and to talk to Stephanie, Ava and Willis and informs them that he’s looking into the legitimacy of the royal line. Stephanie throws herself on the nearest couch and sobs.

Scene Arc: Everyone is happy to everyone is distraught.

Essence: The royal family finds out they may not be royal

Conflict: The royal family may not be royal

Subtext: What is going to happen to Stephanie and her mother?

Hope/fear: Fear that Stephanie and her mother may have their lives upended

EXT. – GARDEN – DAY

Stephanie discusses the possibility of not being royal with Chloe and the two brainstorm about what she can do.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is distraught to Stephanie has been talked off the ledge by Chloe

Essence: Stephanie and Chloe brainstorm what Stephanie is going to do.

Conflict: Stephanie may not be royal

Subtext: Stephanie doesn’t know any other life besides being royal. How is she going to survive this?

Hope/fear: That Stephanie and Chloe will come up with some brilliant plan to stop this from happening.

INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

The historian informs the family that they are not royals. Says he will keep his mouth shut for now, but tells them they must decide how they are going to proceed.

Scene Arc: The family goes from fear of what the historian might say to being devastated.

Essence: Stephanie and her mother find out they’re not royal

Conflict: Stephanie and her mother are not royal.

Subtext: What will Stephanie and her mother do? What happens next?

Hope/fear: Fear of what happens to Stephanie and her mother now.

EXT. – GRAVEYARD – DAY

Stephanie visits her father’s grave wearing a tiara to talk to him about what’s just happened and vows that she will do what he would have done in this situation.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is distraught to feeling better after talking to her father.

Essence: Stephanie talks to her father about what has just transpired.

Conflict: Stephanie refuses to accept that she’s not royal.

Subtext: Stephanie can’t accept any other reality than being royal.

Hope/fear:

EXT. – (SOME RIBBON CUTTING CEREMONY in Jack’s country) – DAY

The historian runs into Jack and casually mentions that Stephanie’s family is not really royal.

Scene Arc: Jack is happily going about his business to being disturbed by the historian’s news.

Essence: Jack finds out that Stephanie is not royal after all.

Conflict: Jack challenges the historian when he gives him the news.

Subtext: Jack will protect Stephanie.

Hope/fear: That Jack will punch the historian.

INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

Jack approaches Stephanie and Ava about helping them with their predicament. Stephanie emphatically says no.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is mildly annoyed by Jack’s visit to completely enraged that he thinks she needs his help.

Essence: Jack offers help to Stephanie.

Conflict: Stephanie doesn’t want help from Jack. She’s irritated at just the thought of it.

Subtext: Romantic tension between Jack and Stephanie.

Hope/fear: Stephanie will accept Jack’s help.

INT. – CAFÉ – DAY

Historian meets with a member of the press and leaks the news about Stephanie’s family not being royal.

Scene Arc: A casual meeting between the historian and Clara to the historian dropping a bomb (that Stephanie and her family are not royal)

Essence: The historian leaks the news to the press.

Conflict: Clara refuses to believe the historian at first.

Hope/fear: That Clara will brush the historian off and not report on what he told her

INT. – (SOME ROOM IN THE CASTLE WHERE THERE IS A tv) – DAY

Stephanie, Avis and Willis watch in horror as the news reports that they are not the true royal family. They show scenes of the country in chaos.

Scene Arc: Stephanie, Ava and Willis go from suffering their fate in private to it now being very public.

Essence: The country finds out that Stephanie and Ava are not royal.

Conflict: The news of the royal family not being royal becomes public and the country is in chaos.

Subtext: What will the royal family do now?

Hope/fear: That the country will become unstable and everything will only get worse.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

The politicians in the country demand that Stephanie’s family vacate the castle.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and her mom at least have a place to live to deal with their predicament to essentially becoming homeless.

Essence: Stephanie and Ava get kicked out of the castle.

Conflict: Stephanie and Ava argue with the politicians.

Subtext: What will Stephanie and Ava do now?

Hope/fear: That Stephanie and Ava have no place to go.

INT. – PRESS ROOM – DAY

Historian identifies the rightful princess, but no one has any idea where she is. The press and all the politicians vow to find her.

Scene Arc: Everyone is curious to hear from the historian. Then they are shocked to hear the name of the rightful princess.

Essence: The historian identifies the rightful princess.

Conflict: No one knows anything about the rightful princess or where she might be.

Subtext: Stephanie has competition now.

Hope/fear: That the rightful princess will come forward and take everything away from Stephanie and her mother.

INT. – OFFICE – DAY

Stephanie’s mom, Ava convinces her to accept Jack’s help. Stephanie calls Jack to inform him.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is adamant that they will not accept help from Jack to Stephanie concedes to accepting help from Jack.

Essence: Ava convinces Stephanie to accept help from Jack.

Conflict: Stephanie fights with her mom about accepting help from Jack.

Subtext: Stephanie is too proud to accept help, especially from someone she hates.

Hope/fear: Stephanie will accept help from Jack so she and her mother won’t be homeless.

INT. – JACK’S CASTLE – DAY

Jack discusses helping Stephanie with his father the king. His father doesn’t want him to do it. Jack says he’s going to help her anyway.

Scene Arc: Jack and his father, Brandon are cordial with one another to them being angry at one another.

Essence: Jack tells his father he offered to help Stephanie.

Conflict: Jack’s father doesn’t want Jack to help Stephanie.

Subtext: Jack and his father have a broken relationship.

Hope/fear: That Jack and his father will come to an agreement.

INT. – JACK’S CASTLE – SITTING ROOM – DAY

Jack tells Rob that he’s going to try to get Stephanie to fall in love with him. He considers it a challenge and it will finally get her to stop hating him and he will have won.

Scene Arc: Jack and Rob are casually talking to Jack has cooked up a devious plan to get Stephanie to fall for him to get Stephanie to fall in love with him.

Essence: Jack decides to try to get Stephanie to fall in love with him.

Conflict: Rob warns Jack against playing with Stephanie’s feelings.

Subtext: Jack is arrogant and self-absorbed.

Hope/fear: Rob will be able to talk Jack out of planning to manipulate Stephanie’s feelings.

EXT. – CASTLE – DAY

The press surrounds Stephanie and Ava the day they leave the castle.

Scene Arc:

Essence: Stephanie and Ava leave the castle in disgrace as the country looks on.

Conflict: Stephanie and Ava have to avoid the rude questioning by the press.

Subtext: Stephanie and Ava are humiliated.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE IN STEPHANIE’S COUNTRY – DAY

Stephanie and Ava get settled in. Jack and Stephanie spar.

Scene Arc: Stephanie thanks Jack through gritted teeth for his hospitality. Then they get into a fight.

Essence: Stephanie and Ava settle into Jack’s summer home.

Conflict: Stephanie and Jack fight.

Subtext: Romantic tension.

Act 2:

INT- JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Jack and Rob give Stephanie lessons on how to become a commoner.

Scene Arc: Awkwardness between Jack and Rob and Stephanie to the three laughing.

Essence: Stephanie gets her first lesson on how to become a commoner.

Conflict: Stephanie fights Rob and Jack at first.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not a commoner.

Hope/fear:

INT. – STORE – DAY

Stephanie lets Jack take her shopping like commoners do. Completely out of her element, Stephanie starts ordering everyone in the store around. She and Jack have to leave in shame.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and Jack walk quietly into the store and by the time they leave, it’s chaos.

Essence: Stephanie makes a scene at the store.

Conflict: Stephanie orders people around and makes everyone mad.

Subtext: Stephanie is selfish and self-centered and has no intention of accepting that she’s not royal.

Hope/fear: That Stephanie won’t mess this up.

EXT. – PARK – NIGHT

Stephanie meets with a private detective and asks him to investigate the historian that outed her family.

Scene Arc: Stephanie makes a mysterious phone call. Stephanie plans to get some dirt on the historian.

Essence: Stephanie contacts a detective to get him to investigate the historian.

Conflict: Stephanie’s scheme against the historian.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not royal.

Hope/fear: The detective will agree to help Stephanie.

EXT. – PARK – DAY

Jack takes Stephanie to a park to interact with commoners. Although Stephanie doesn’t interact with the commoners well, she and Jack start to enjoy each other’s company.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and Jack go from being unnoticed to attracting the paparazzi and having to leave the park.

Essence: Jack takes Stephanie to the park to interact with commoners, but it doesn’t go well.

Conflict: Between Stephanie and the press

Subtext: Stephanie thinks she’s too good to interact with commoners.

Hope/fear: That Jack and Stephanie will get closer. That this little outing will be successful for Stephanie. Fear that Stephanie will mess it up like at the store.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE- NIGHT

Jack, Stephanie, Ava, Chloe, Rob and Jack’s father, Brandon all have dinner together. Sparks fly between Chloe and Rob. Jack and his father argue.

Scene Arc: Everyone is having a nice dinner to Jack and his father fighting and everything turning awkward.

Essence: Everyone at the summer house spending time together.

Conflict: Jack and his father fight.

Subtext: The dysfunction in Jack and Brandon’s relationship. Sparks between Rob and Chloe

Hope/fear: That the dinner will end as pleasantly as it started.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT

Stephanie informs her mother that she’s talking to a detective.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and her mother having a pleasant conversation to having a disagreement by the end.

Essence: Stephanie informs her mother that she’s hired a detective to investigate the historian.

Conflict: Ava doesn’t want Stephanie to work with the detective.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she and her mother are not royal.

Hope/fear: That Ava will go along with Stephanie’s plan

EXT. – PARK – NIGHT

Stephanie meets with the detective who informs her the historian is squeaky clean, albeit mean. Stephanie becomes enraged. Clara the reporter pops out from behind a tree and confesses that she has the whole conversation on camera.

Scene Arc: Stephanie goes from being hopeful to being angry.

Essence: Stephanie finds out from the detective that he couldn’t find any dirt on the historian.

Conflict: Stephanie gets angry with the detective.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not royal, even now.

Hope/fear:

EXT. – PARK – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS

Clara jumps out from behind a tree with her cameraman and says she caught the whole conversation on camera.

Essence: Stephanie is confronted by Clara and finds out that she is going to be exposed.

Conflict: Stephanie threatens Clara if she airs the tape.

Subtext: Stephanie is about to get an even worse reputation

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Everyone watches in horror as the events in the park are displayed on the news for all the world to see.

Scene Arc: Everyone is happy to everyone is horrified.

Essence: Everyone at the summer house realizes what happened at the park and that Stephanie has been even more humiliated.

Conflict: Brandon becomes angry with Jack.

Subtext: Brandon is about to give Jack an ultimatum.

Hope/fear: Things are even worse for Stephanie now than they were before.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Brandon demands that Jack stop helping Stephanie because it’s bad PR for the family. They argue and Jack leaves angry.

Scene Arc: Brandon is angry with Jack to Jack becoming angry and walking out.

Essence: Brandon demands that Jack distance himself from Stephanie in public.

Conflict: Jack and his father fight about Jack helping Stephanie.

Subtext: Jack has no plans to stop helping Stephanie.

Hope/fear: That Jack and his father will come to an agreement.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Jack informs Stephanie that he can no longer help her in public, though she and her mother can still stay at his family’s house until they figure out where they are going to go. He accidentally lets it slip that he’s

fallen for her.

Scene Arc: Jack is informing Stephanie that he can longer help her publicly but will help her privately. By the end of the scene, he has accidentally let it slip that he’s fallen for her.

Essence: Jack informs Stephanie that he has to distance himself from her publicly.

Conflict: Jack is going to defy his father and help Stephanie in secret.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Jack confesses to Rob that he’s fallen for Stephanie for real and that he’s going to pursue her. He teases Rob about his budding relationship with Chloe.

Essence: Jack confesses to Rob that he has feelings for Stephanie and that he’s going to pursue her.

EXT. – STREETS – NIGHT

Stephanie sneaks out of the castle one night in a disguise and walks through town. She sees homeless people on the street. She talks to a father who is getting off work from his second job to support his family. She walks by an orphanage and sees all of the children through a window. She talks to a homeless woman and realizes that she is one everyone has been looking for, the rightful princess, but she keeps it to herself.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is unaware of the suffering in her kingdom to being very much aware of it.

Essence: Stephanie sees the real people in her kingdom for the first time

Conflict: What will Stephanie do with her newfound knowledge of the rightful princess?

Subtext: Stephanie has been very self-centered up until this point.

Hope/fear: That meeting the rightful princess will really mess things up for Stephanie

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Stephanie calls a lawyer to find out what her options are for keeping her royal title. He tells her he’ll look into it. He tells her he doesn’t think there’s anything he can do.

Scene Arc: Stephanie goes from hopeful to deflated.

Essence: Stephanie is grasping at one last straw to remain royal.

Conflict: Stephanie argues with the lawyer

Subtext: Stephanie knows who/where the rightful princess is, but she’s still trying to hold on to her title.

Hope/fear: That the lawyer will be able to help her.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Ava advises Stephanie to do something to improve her public image.

Scene Arc: A nice moment between mother and daughter to an argument to the two being in agreement

Essence: Ava tries to convince Stephanie to do something to improve her public image

Conflict: Stephanie doesn’t want to go along with her mother’s idea at first

Subtext: Stephanie is still hoping to remain the princess.

Hope/fear: That Stephanie will agree to do something good for her kingdom.

Act 3:

INT. – PRESS ROOM – DAY

Stephanie announces an initiative to help the orphanage she came across while she was out wondering the streets.

Essence: Stephanie announces that she’s starting an initiative to help the orphanage.

INT. – ORPHANAGE – DAY

Stephanie visits all of the children. She makes a plea to the public to help the kids.

Essence: Stephanie makes a public appearance at the orphanage and asks the public to help the kids.

Subtext: Although Stephanie is speaking on behalf of the kids, she is enjoying the favorable attention from the press.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE

Jack surprises Stephanie with a fancy dinner and a private concert. He also surprises her with clothing and toy donations for the orphanage.

Scene Arc: Stephanie doesn’t know what’s going on to finding out she is on a fancy date with Jack.

Essence: Jack and Stephanie have a date.

INT. – ORPHANAGE – DAY

Stephanie, Chloe, Rob and Ava work at the orphanage to sort clothing and toy donations that have come in.

INT. JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

The news reports on Stephanie’s good work with the orphanage and paints her in a favorable light once again.

EXT. – ORPHANAGE – DAY

Stephanie is drawn to the cameras and seems to have forgotten about the children. The reporter keeps asking her about the children, but she keeps wanting to talk about the fact that she’s still the princess. The reporter her asks her what about the children. She says who? And the crowd turns on her.

Scene Arc: Stephanie starts out being adored by the press and public and by the end of the scene everyone has turned on her.

Essence: Stephanie gets caught up in the attention that helping the orphanage is bringing to her and forgets about the kids.

Conflict: Stephanie is in conflict with the public.

Subtext: Stephanie is still the same.

Hope/fear: Fear that Stephanie is once in the bad graces of her country

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Everyone watches in horror once again as the press accuses Stephanie of helping the orphanage for selfish reasons. Stephanie is mortified.

INT. – DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Jack snubs Stephanie at dinner.

Essence: A dinner, Jack snubs Stephanie.

Conflict: Jack snubs Stephanie causing her to be angry with him.

Subtext: Jack is having second thoughts about Stephanie.

INT. – BEDROOM – NIGHT

Stephanie sobs on the phone to Chloe.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is very distraught and then feeling a little better after talking to Chloe.

Essence: Stephanie confides in Chloe about her feelings for Jack.

EXT. – GARDEN – NIGHT

Stephanie confides to her mother that she finally sees how selfish she’s been and how it’s hurt the ones she loves. She vows to change.

Scene Arc: Stephanie starts out not understanding why things are happening the way they are to realizing that she has been the cause of all her problems.

Essence: Stephanie realizes how selfish she’s been and how she’s hurt the ones she loves.

Conflict: Stephanie fights with herself as the talks to her mom.

Subtext: Stephanie’s transformation from a self-centered person into a caring person.

Hope/fear:

Act 4 Climax:

EXT. – STREETS – DAY

Stephanie goes to the place where she found the homeless woman, the rightful princess and gives her the news that she’s a princess.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is searching the streets for the homeless woman who is the rightful princess. She finds her and gives her the news that she’s the princess.

Essence: Stephanie seeks out the rightful princess and tells her she’s the princess.

Conflict: Stephanie has trouble finding the homeless woman she found the other night.

Subtext: Stephanie has changed.

Hope/fear: Both hope and fear that Stephanie will find the woman

INT. – CASTLE – DAY

Stephanie announces to the staff that she has the rightful princess. Willis comes to help her.

Scene Arc: Stephanie brings in the homeless woman to a surprised Willis. Stephanie has to convince Willis she’s the princess. Then he agrees to help her.

Essence: Stephanie introduces the rightful princess to the palace staff

Conflict: The staff doesn’t accept the homeless woman as the princess at first.

Hope/fear: The staff will help the homeless woman.

Montage:

Stephanie making over the homeless woman into a princess.

INT. – CASTLE – NIGHT

Stephanie holds a press event where she gives a passionate speech and presents the homeless woman as the country’s real princess and indirectly tells Jack that she loves him.

Scene Arc: It’s just a normal press conference until Stephanie presents the rightful princess and causes a frenzy.

Essence: Stephanie introduces the rightful princess to the country

Conflict: The press is hostile towards Stephanie at first.

Subtext: Stephanie indirectly but very publicly tells Jack that she loves him.

Hope/fear: Stephanie’s message to Jack will soften his heart towards her.

INT. -JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Jack watches Stephanie’s speech on TV.

Scene Arc: Jack is stoic and judgmental as he watches Stephanie. Then he touched.

Essence: Jack learns that Stephanie loves him.

Conflict: Jack doesn’t want to watch Stephanie’s speech at first and almost leaves.

Subtext: Stephanie is telling Jack that she loves him.

Hope/fear: Jack’s heart will be softened by Stephanie’s speech.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Jack stands up to his father and announces that he’s going after Stephanie. The two reconcile. His father recognizes that he’s ready to be king and says he will announce that he’s stepping down.

Scene Arc: Jack and his father don’t see eye to eye, but after Jack stands up to him, his father has a newfound respect for him and the two reconcile.

Essence: Jack stands up to his father and the two reconcile.

Conflict: Jack stands up to his father.

Subtext: Jack can stand on his own now.

Hope/fear: Jack will win his father over.

INT. – CASTLE – NIGHT

The new princess gives Stephanie a thank-you allowance and makes her an ambassador for the country.

Essence: The new princess thanks Stephanie by making her an ambassador for the country.

Subtext: All is right in the kingdom again.

INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – LATER

Stephanie shows up and announces that she’ll be leaving Jack’s house and finding her own place. He tells her that he was wrong about her and that he’s madly in love with her. She confesses that she’s in love with him too. He proposes to her in front of his father, Rob, Chloe and Ava. She accepts. Everyone laughs and cries and congratulates the happy couple. Stephanie is going to be royalty after all.

Scene Arc: Stephanie starts out with plans to leave Jack’s house but ends up getting engaged to Jack.

Essence: Jack and Stephanie get engaged.

Conflict: Stephanie is going to leave Jack’s house.

Hope/fear: Jack and Stephanie will get together.

[Andrew Boyd]

WIM Module 4 Lesson 9 Scene Requirements

15.10.22

My Vision:

For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling screenplay that Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson will battle it out to produce their best WW2 blockbuster since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List. That this screenplay will confront racism as everybody’s problem and show that there is no human being who doesn’t need mercy.

What I learned from this assignment:

Boiling down a 400-page book into a screenplay is a massive undertaking best carried out scene by scene, layer by layer. Keep going…

ACT 1

Scene Arc: The US military hospital in Munich where Henry and Sam are raising morale as the injured roll in.

Essence: Chaplain and his assistant play that music hot to cheer up the troops.

Conflict: The joy of music v the horror of war. Fuller came to hate the chaplain.

Subtext: There is trouble ahead between them.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can keep their double act going. Fear something is about to go badly wrong.

EXT. BOMB DAMAGED HOSPITAL 1945 – DAY

Establishing shot from above. Chaotic. Broken. Military ambulances everywhere.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDORS – DAY

Wounded and their carers competing to get to chapel, where stamping, clapping and music are reaching out to them.

INT. HOSPITAL CHAPEL – DAY

Chaplain Henry Gerecke and his assistant Sam Fuller are hot-gospelling on the piano and trombone. There’s joy in the room. And pain. Some much needed relief for seriously wounded soldiers.

INT. PRISON 15 YRS LATER – DAY

An older Sam Fuller is telling his story behind bars – how he hated that chaplain.

INT. HOSPITAL CHAPEL 1945 – DAY

Alarm bells. Barked orders. Ambulances arrive with seriously wounded. Chapel over. Back to work. Horrific. Exhausting.

Scene Arc: Assigned to the Nuremberg trial. Neither wants to go. Stakes are raised when Henry hears his sons are wounded and Fuller’s brother is posted missing.

Essence: Call to go to Nuremberg.

Conflict: Torn loyalties.

Subtext: Hidden guilt, played on by the Colonel.

Hope/Fear: Hope Henry can succeed. Fear he could fail and bring down his marriage with it.

INT. DARKENED ROOM – DAY

The Colonel shows Henry and Fuller newsreel of the war, then tells Henry he can either go home or head to Nuremberg to be chaplain to the leading Nazis. If he can get them to renounce Hitler he can break the Nazi legend and spare the next generation another war. To help Henry make up his mind, he’s sending him on a visit to Dachau.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – DAY

News comes in that both Henry’s boys have been wounded in the war.

EXT. ST LOUIS PRE-WAR – DAY

Outside a movie theatre – Dawn Patrol. Henry encourages his boys to sign up. His wife Alma says she’ll never forgive him if anything happens to them.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – DAY

Fuller bursts in with news his brother is missing in action: killed or captured when he tried to surrender. Henry cares for his sidekick and keeps his own news to himself.

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Fuller gets another message we can’t hear, but we can see it’s bad news.

Scene Arc: Fuller as a boy. His drunken Pa beats him and his brother Joel. Again. So Joel kills their Pa and raises Fuller as a hustler, before signing up to fight.

Essence: Fuller’s wound backstory.

Conflict: Hatred of father figures – now directed at Henry.

Subtext: Will history repeat itself?

Hope/Fear: Hope Fuller can pull it back. Fear he will take revenge.

EXT. RURAL SHACK 10 YRS EARLIER – DAY

Fuller arrives back at his shack to find his older brother Joel bloodied with a gun in his hand.

INT. SHACK, THE DAY BEFORE – NIGHT

Sam Fuller is pounding on the keys of a honky-tonk piano. His Pa, drunk on the floor, comes to and pounds him. Joel tries to stop him. Pa punches him in the face. Joel grabs his Pa’s gun and shoots.

EXT. RURAL SHACK – DAY

Sam and Joel bury their drunken father’s body. They’re orphans now.

EXT. SOUTHERN TOWN – DAY

Big bro Joel teaches Sam to survive. Stealing, hustling, and how to avoid getting lynched by racists.

EXT. RURAL ROAD – DAY

Joel in uniform heads off to fight the war. Sam must sit it out until he’s old enough to join up. Meanwhile, he’s on his own.

Scene Arc: Henry is sent to visit Dachau to firm up his resolve to go to Nuremberg. He and Fuller see the horrors. Fuller tries to kill a Nazi. Henry stops him. Turns out Fuller’s brother was murdered by the SS when he tried to surrender.

Essence: Face to face with the horror of war.

Conflict: Racism taken to its logical limit. Will Fuller shoot?

Subtext: Each man must conquer his own hatred.

Hope/Fear: Hope Fuller puts the gun down. Fear he will kill and be killed and may even kill his boss.

EXT. DACHAU CONCENTRATION CAMP 1945 – DAY

Utter horror. Gas chambers. Piles of bodies. Fuller, worse for drink, deftly steals a pistol and tries to kill a young Nazi POW. Henry gets in his way. Fuller will have to kill him first. He lowers the gun.

EXT. IN THE JEEP BACK FROM DACHAU – EVENING

Henry guesses Joel has been killed. Fuller explains…

EXT. WERETH, BELGIUM – DAY

…Joel and other black soldiers are racially abused and mutilated as they try to surrender during the Battle of the Bulge.

EXT. IN THE JEEP BACK FROM DACHAU – EVENING

Fuller wants revenge. He doesn’t want to go to Nuremberg. Neither does Henry. But what will his boss decide?

ACT 2

Scene Arc: Fuller waits for Henry in the ruins of Nuremberg. Henry shows kindness to German kids and their father. Fuller shows hatred.

Essence: Revealing character of two protagonists as they begin their assignment.

Conflict: Compassion v vengeance.

Subtext: Reveals Henry as a natural peacemaker. Reveals depth of anger in Fuller.

Hope/Fear: Hope these two can keep it together. Fear they could pull apart.

EXT. NUREMBERG – DAYLIGHT FADING

Ruin and destruction. Fuller greets Henry as he arrives in his Jeep. To Fuller’s fury

Henry gives cigarettes to a crippled ex-SS soldier and his ragged kids who live in the rubble. The kids remind Henry of his boys.

Scene Arc: Setting up in the Palace of Justice. Henry has to keep the Nazis alive until they hang. Introduced to the Catholic chaplain and Jewish psychologist.

Essence: Establishing the hero team.

Conflict: Henry’s conflicting duties – to the military and to the chaplaincy.

Subtext: Tow the line, Henry.

Hope/Fear: Hope to forge a strong team. Fear conflicting agendas will tear them apart.

INT. COLONEL ANDRUS’ OFFICE – DAY

Colonel Andrus tells Henry he is there to ‘keep the Nazis alive ‘till we can hang ‘em.’ No more suicides! Introduces Henry to his roommate, psychologist Gustave Gilbert.

INT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Gilbert describes the suicides of leading Nazi Robert Ley…

INT. CONCENTRATION CAMP CLINIC (FLASHBACK) – DAY

… and Nazi doctor and euthanasia proponent, Dr Leonard Conti. Gilbert will do whatever it takes to get inside the heads of these Nazis to prevent this ever happening again. Time is short – these men are going to hang.

EXT/INT. PALACE OF JUSTICE – DAY

Chaotic, frantic, war-shattered building site. Gilbert introduces Henry to the Catholic chaplain, Sixtus O’Connor, who shows him round.

Scene Arc: The trial begins. Fuller hustles Henry an organ and a chapel. But at the first service, Fuller is racially insulted and walks out.

Essence: Fuller quits the hero team. The trial is a waste of time – just shoot ‘em all.

Conflict: Goering v the world.

Subtext: Goering and the Nazis – vanity and arrogance. Something is wrong with O’Connor that the Catholic chaplain is concealing.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry will get through to the defendants. Fear that nothing will ever get through to these arrogant Nazis.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Gilbert, O’Connor, Fuller and Henry watch the opening of the trial. To a man, the Nazis plead not guilty. Hermann Goering dominates the dock and shows utter contempt for the court. O’Connor’s back is hurting. He won’t say why.

INT. CHAPLAIN’S ROOM – DAY

Fuller the hustler finds Henry an organ and…

INT. JAILBLOCK – DAY

…knocks two cells together to form a chapel.

INT. PRISON / CHAPEL – NIGHT

As Henry greets his congregation at the door, SS prisoners hurl racial insults at Fuller, who storms out. Goering restores order. After the service, he leads the Germans back to their cells humming a Nazi marching song.

Scene Arc: The Nazis don’t give a rip about the court or Henry.

Essence: Growing rift between Henry and Fuller, Henry and the guards.

Conflict: Open conflict between the court and the Nazis, growing conflict with Henry.

Subtext: These men are monsters – just kill them.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry knows what he’s doing. Fear he’s got it badly wrong.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

The prosecution certainly get it wrong when the show the film, The Nazi Plan. The Germans grin and point to themselves on screen. They love it!

INT. CELLS (VARIOUS) ­– DAY

Henry is treated with indifference and contempt by the Nazis. He offends the guards, including Fuller by appearing too respectful to the prisoners.

Scene Arc: Back home Henry fears his love rival is moving in on his wife. Flashback to how he won over Alma, and became Pa to three boys.

Essence: Nuremberg could cost Henry his marriage.

Conflict: Henry v Kent for Alma’s affections.

Subtext: With Henry away, Alma has chosen Kent.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Alma will stay true. Fear that staying on in Nuremberg will cost Henry his marriage.

INT. HENRY’S HOME IN ST LOUIS – DAY

Henry’s love rival, Kent is moving in on his wife, Alma. He fears the worst because she has sold Henry’s car to him.

EXT. ST LOUIS CHURCH 1920S – DAY

Younger Henry and Kent compete for the affections of good-looking Alma. Henry gets the girl. And they have three fine boys.

Scene Arc: Tensions grow in the team. Fuller is hostile to Henry. Gilbert wants vengeance, and an unidentified figure is hauling rocks at a concentration camp.

Essence: Tensions mount in the hero team.

Conflict: Fuller faces growing hostility from Brannigan. Henry faces growing friction from Fuller and now Gilbert.

Subtext: Racism is not just a Nazi issue. A hidden horror is coming to the surface.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can hold it together. Fear that things are falling apart.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR ­– DAY

Fuller, now exiled to guard duty, has been beaten by his racist sergeant, Brannigan. Henry intervenes but Fuller is hostile.

EXT. NUREMBERG RUINS – DAY

Tensions with the Gilbert grow. He thinks Henry is soft on the Germans, while the intense Jewish psychologist seeks vengeance.

EXT. THE DEATH STEPS, MAUTHAUSEN, 1945 – DAY

A figure is labouring under a huge rock up a stone staircase, as soldiers look on. The figure is dressed in US fatigues.

Scene Arc: Goering dominates the court and is trying to turn Henry.

Essence: Goering dominates the court, the Nazis and the hero team.

Conflict: Goering v the world.

Subtext: Goering is too strong for them.

Hope/Fear: Hope they will find a way through to Goering. Fear they will fail and Goering will be triumphant, and the Nazi legend will live on.

INT. GOERING’S CELL – DAY

Goering is working on Henry – trying to turn him, to win favours. He offers Henry his armoured Mercedes as a gift to replace the Chrysler Alma sold to Kent.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Goering, now recovered from drug addiction is back at the peak of his powers. He’s running rings around the prosecutor, Robert Jackson. The prosecution shows a harrowing concentration camp film, which Goering dismisses as propaganda.

Scene Arc: O’Connor and Gilbert confront Jew Baiter Julius Streicher. Fuller pokes fun at the Nazi.

Essence: Mocking the crazy racism of the Nazis.

Conflict: Hero team v Streicher.

Subtext: Gilbert’s Jewish outrage is overwhelming his professionalism. Streicher’s anti-Semitism is insane.

Hope/Fear: Hope O’Connor and Gilbert can overcome their disgust. Fear Streicher is beyond help.

INT. HENRY AND GILBERT’S ROOM – DAY

Gilbert seethes as he reads defendant Julius Streicher’s anti-Semitic newspaper…

INT. JULIUS STREICHER’S CELL – DAY

…and confronts Streicher, who calls him out as a Jew – then strips off to exercise in the nude! Gilbert hurries away.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – DAY

Fuller borrows a Speed Graphic to snap Streicher doing naked star jumps…

INT. SOLDIER’S MESS – DAY

…and pins up the picture on a noticeboard, to howls of laughter.

Scene Arc: O’Connor takes Henry to meet prisoner Hans Frank, who has had an epiphany about the evil he has committed.

Essence: The first Nazi to accept responsibility.

Conflict: Henry can’t believe it.

Subtext: There really is no hope for these men.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Frank has had a change of heart. Fear he is off his head.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – DAY

Henry is floundering. O’Connor takes him to meet Hans Frank in his cell – the Butcher of Warsaw…

INT. PRISON CELL – DAY

…who describes a fearful dream…

EXT. TRAIN – NIGHT

…a train full of the dead, rattling by staring at him.

INT. PRISON CELL – DAY

Frank claims to have had an epiphany and returned to his Catholic faith. Henry is sceptical, but he knows he’s getting nowhere…

Scene Arc: O’Connor takes Henry into Nuremberg to show him why he’s floundering with the Nazis.

Essence: Confronting Henry with his wound.

Conflict: Henry is at war with himself.

Subtext: Tough love is not humiliation.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry will face his wound and overcome it. Fear he will fail.

EXT. NUREMBERG RUINS – DAY

…so the Catholic chaplain takes him out into Nuremberg and shows Henry…

EXT. WW1 RECRUITMENT LINE ST LOUIS 1917 – DAY

…that the problem is the Lutheran chaplain was humiliated years ago and is reluctant to humiliate others. It happened when his German father pulled him out of the WWI recruitment line where he was queuing to fight the Kaiser.

EXT. NUREMBERG RUINS – DAY

Fear of humiliation is the reason Henry is too soft on the Nazis. Now he has to put that aside and get tough.

Scene Arc: Henry meets the court artist, whose painting is gradually revealing the truth about the Nazis. He shows her round Nuremberg.

Essence: How to get the Nazis to take responsibility.

Conflict: Blind eyes cannot see.

Subtext: Art can reveal a deeper truth.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry will learn from Laura. Fear he will never discover how.

INT. BROADCAST BOOTH, ROOM 600 – DAY

Henry meets court artist Laura Knight whose painting of the Nazis in the dock reveals insights that could be useful. The Nazis can’t see what they’ve done. But how can Henry open their eyes and get them to take responsibility?

EXT. NUREMBERG RUINS – DAY

Henry shows Laura round Nuremberg. A young girl is painting the ruins of her former home – as it once was. She doesn’t understand – but she still has hope. Henry is grateful for female companionship. He’s missing his wife.

Scene Arc: Back at the Palace of Justice, MPs and Germans are accosting a Jewish violinist. We see his story in flashback at Auschwitz. Yet the man rebuffs Henry later in court.

Essence: The end of the war didn’t end anti-Semitism.

Conflict: Between the Jewish violinist and the world.

Subtext: Anti-Semitism runs deep and cruel.

Hope/Fear: Fear that the Jewish violinist will reject Henry’s kindness. Hope that Henry can break through to him.

EXT. PALACE OF JUSTICE

Heading back to the Court, Henry intervenes when an MP and some Germans are trying to silence a Jewish violinist.

EXT. AUSCHWITZ CONCENTRATION CAMP 1944 – DAY

An SS guard kills a Jewish conductor for playing the music of Mahler, a Jew. Shia Morontz, first violin in the camp orchestra, can only watch – and then his is forced to play Mozart.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Shia Morontz is in court as a witness. Despite Henry’s earlier kindness, he rebuffs the chaplain when he tries to console him. The Nazis claimed to be Christians too.

Scene Arc: In Henry’s room and back to St Louis in flashback, scene of Henry’s humiliation.

Essence: You have to stand up to bullies. Henry’s wound and the fear of losing his temper.

Conflict: Henry v Gilbert, Henry v Willard, Henry v his own temper.

Subtext: You can stand up to bullies without giving in to hate – theirs or your own.

Hope/Fear: Hope of overcoming his wound. Fear of losing his temper.

INT. HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT

Letting off steam. Cards and too much booze. Gilbert rounds on Henry and tells him you have to stand up to bullies.

EXT. WW1 RECRUITMENT LINE ST LOUIS 1917 – DAY

Henry takes on the jeering bully Willard and busts his nose. But he is frightened by his own fury. Then the police move in and Pa hauls him away.

Scene Arc: Laura Knight shows Henry her finished painting in the broadcast booth.

Subtext: Art can reveal truth and penetrate denial.

Conflict: Denial v the truth.

Hope/Fear: Hope the truth can be revealed to the Nazis. Fear their blindness is s great that could be impossible.

INT. BROADCAST BOOTH, ROOM 600 – DAY

Laura Knight shows Henry the finished painting. Indifferent, self-obsessed Nazis, surrounded by death and destruction. ‘Make… them… see.’ But how?

Scene Arc: Fuller is cracking jokes and playing a storm in the Stork Club. His racist sergeant tries to bottle him, but is prevented by a Jewish GI.

Essence: Racism in the US military.

Conflict: Fuller v the racist Sgnt Brannigan.

Subtext: Racism is everyone’s problem. To overcome oppression it can help to keep your sense of humour.

Hope/Fear: Fear that Brannigan will get even with Fuller. Hope that Fuller will outsmart him.

INT. THE STORK CLUB, HANUKKAH 1945 – NIGHT

Fuller is pounding the keys and cracking jokes at a Hanukkah party thrown by Jewish GIs, and getting it together with his white girlfriend, Evelyn. The racist Sergeant Brannigan threatens to kill him. Jewish GIs prevent him.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 3

Scene Arc: Into a café in Nuremberg, where Henry persuades the Jewish violinist to tell his story, while patrons storm out.

Essence: The Jewish violinist gives Henry the clue he needs to confront the Nazis.

Conflict: Tensions in the café as patrons walk out.

Subtext: Everybody knew, but they all refuse to see.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry can make them see. Fear that he will fail.

EXT/INT. NUREMBERG CAFÉ – DAY

Henry pursues Morontz who reluctantly tells his story, as the indignant patrons of the café walk out.

INT/EXT. CATTLE CAR 1943 – DAY

Morontz describes being herded into a cattle car with his wife and three small girls and sent to Auschwitz. Polish children run alongside the train yelling the Jews will be turned into soap. Even they knew. Morontz gives Henry the evidence he needs to confront the Nazis. Everybody knew.

Scene Arc: Henry is given evidence by a woman on the prosecution staff that will help him get tough with the defendants. He confronts Keitel in his cell, who agrees to testify. But Goering gets to him first, and Keitel toes the party line in court.

Essence: Rising to the challenge of getting tough. Equipped with evidence for the task.

Conflict: Winning his battle of wits with Keitel, until Goering gets him back on side.

Subtext: Even now, the Fuhrerprinzip prevails. They are still only obeying orders.

Hope/Fear: Hope Keitel will stand up and be a man. Fear that once a yes man, always a yes man.

INT. PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Henry is given a mysterious box by a member of the prosecution staff.

INT. KEITEL’S CELL – DAY

It contains a military paybook and more. Henry uses a mixture of hard evidence and compassion to confront without humiliation. Beginning with Field Marshal Keitel, he forces him out of denial and persuades him to denounce Hitler in court…

EXT. EXERCISE YARD – DAY

…until Goering gets to him.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Under cross examination Keitel toes the party line.

Scene Arc: Hunting party at Goering’s estate, where he later shows off his looted artworks.

Essence: Goering, art thief.

Conflict: Goering and his general.

Subtext: Goering is powerful and manipulative.

Hope/Fear: We hope Goering will admit his crimes. We fear his self-justifications will continue.

EXT. CARINHALL, GOERING’S ESTATE 1943 – DAY

A well-heeled hunting party is returning to Goering’s estate…

INT. CARINHALL – DAY

…where they trail mud over precious carpets while Goering shows off his looted artworks from around the world, including a priceless Vermeer. He silences a German general’s mockery by threatening to send him to Stalingrad.

Scene Arc: Goering eats alone, split off from the other Nazis to break his grip on them – to the relief of several defendants. Henry confronts them in their cells with hard evidence. And they crack.

Essence: Getting Goering out of the way so they can get through to the other Nazis.

Conflict: The court and Henry v Ribbentrop. Henry v Schirach.

Subtext: The truth v denial.

Hope/Fear: Hope that with Goering out of the way the Nazi united front will crack. That Henry’s new tough approach will prevail. Fear of a Goering comeback.

INT. DEFENDANT’S DINING ROOM(S) – DAY

Gilbert cuts off Goering’s influence by separating him from the other Nazis. From now on, Goering must eat on his own – to the relief of several other defendants, Frank, Von Schirach and Speer.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Hitler’s Foreign Minister, Ribbentrop, denies knowing anything about concentration camps, but the court proves his country house overlooked a camp.

INT. RIBBENTROP’S CELL – DAY

Henry confronts him and cuts through the denial.

INT. SCHIRACH’S CELL – DAY

Then Germany’s Pied Piper, Hitler Youth leader Schirach caves in…

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

…and denounces Hitler in court.

Scene Arc: Fuller and the other guards tease the Nazis.

Essence: Fuller and the guards tease the Nazi prisoners. Humorous interlude.

Conflict: The guards v the Nazis.

Subtext: The bullying Nazis behave like terrified schoolboys.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT

Fuller and the other guards find mischievous ways to torment the Nazis, projecting an image of a prisoner being hanged onto the back of his cells in the night, then prodding the prisoner awake.

EXT. PRISON – NIGHT

Screams of terror, hoots from the guards.

Scene Arc: Henry is delirious at night, leading to pneumonia and hospitalisation. His boys come to visit. They are recovering from their war wounds.

Essence: Henry goes down with pneumonia and is freed from guilt towards his boys.

Conflict: Henry v overwork, the bitter cold and his own subconscious.

Subtext: Henry recovers from his guilt wound.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry is not to blame for his sons’ injuries. Fear he may be too ill to continue his mission.

INT. HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT (MONTAGE DELIRIOUS NIGHTMARES)

Henry’s boys executing the Nazis, being wounded in the war, Alma with Kent, etc.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Henry goes down with pneumonia due to the cold and overwork. Henry’s sons come to see him. They are recovering from their wounds and say they would have signed up to fight whatever Ma and Pa had done.

Scene Arc: The Colonel plans to send Henry home. But the Nazis write to Alma begging her to let him stay. The Colonel relents, but says Henry must spy on the Nazis. Henry bargains by asking for family visits.

Essence: The Colonel threatens to send Henry home – unless he turns spy.

Conflict: Henry v Col Andrus, his duty to the military v his duty to the chaplaincy.

Subtext: The letter from the Nazis to Alma proves Henry is getting through to them.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry can stay and complete his mission. Fear he will be forced to compromise by his colonel.

INT. COL ANDRUS’ OFFICE – DAY

The Colonel plans to send Henry home to his wife against his wishes.

EXT. ST LOUIS STREET – DAY

Alma collects a letter signed by all the leading Nazis begging her to let Henry stay on in Nuremberg.

INT. COL ANDRUS’ OFFICE – DAY

Andrus says for Henry to stay, he must compromise. He will have to spy on the Nazis. Henry bargains by calling for family visits for the prisoners – to keep these condemned men from committing suicide.

Scene Arc: The Auschwitz commander verifies the industrial scale killing of Jews.

Essence: The true horror of the Final Solution revealed.

Conflict: Humanity v the Nazis.

Subtext: Quiet pride at new ways to murder even more. An end to denial.

Hope/Fear: Hope that the truth is finally coming out.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Auschwitz commandant Hoess gives a chilling account of how he stepped up the mechanised murder of Jews under his watch. It’s the death knell for the Nazis.

Scene Arc: O’Connor is drinking. Henry gets alongside him and establishes that he feels guilty over the liberation of Mauthausen concentration camp. They go to Nuremberg to talk, where O’Connor gives Henry a rosary made at Mauthausen.

Essence: O’Connor reveals his wound to Henry.

Conflict: O’Connor v his own sense of guilt.

Subtext: Mutual humanity overcomes the denominational divide.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry can help Sixtus O’Connor. Fear that O’Connor could be complicit in murder.

INT. CHAPLAIN’S OFFICE – DAY

Henry consoles O’Connor, who has been drinking again. Henry wants to know why.

EXT. THE DEATH STEPS, MAUTHAUSEN, 1945 – DAY

Catholic chaplain Sixtus O’Connor is hauling a huge granite rock up the death steps at Mauthausen concentration camp. It could easily kill him.

EXT. NUREMBERG PEGNITZ RIVER – DAY

Sobering up, O’Connor describes the liberation of Mauthausen. What he saw and failed to prevent. And the penance he has paid, which has damaged his back. He gives Henry a rosary, made by a slave worker out of granite from the death camp.

Scene Arc: At Speer’s monumental Zeppelinfield in Nuremberg, Gilbert presses Henry to pump Speer for information about Nazi wonder weapons. Back in Speer’s cell, Henry does so, then shocks Gilbert by confronting Speer, who goes on to denounce Hitler in court. Goering calls him a traitor and contacts the Nazi resistance.

Essence: Pressing Henry to spy on Speer.

Conflict: Henry v Speer. Goering v Speer.

Subtext: Tough love prevails. Goering is as entrenched as ever.

Hope/Fear: Hope Goering’s grip can be broken and the Nazi defendants will denounce Hitler. Fear Goering will stage a counter-offensive with the help of the Nazi resistance. Hope Speer is telling the truth. Fear he is lying to save his skin.

EXT. ZEPPELINFIELD, NUREMBERG – DAY

Gilbert shows Henry round Speer’s massive monument at the Nuremberg rally grounds. And presses him to spy on the Nazi about wonder weapons.

INT. SPEER’S CELL – DAY

Henry pumps Speer for information …

INT. SPEER’S CELL – DAY

Henry and Gilbert confront Speer in his cell. The chaplain shows Speer the rosary, made at Mauthausen by one of his slave labourers. Then he shocks Gilbert and Speer by pulling a steel whip out of his briefcase and accusing Speer of knowing full well his guards used these against his female workers. Speer’s self-justifications collapse. Henry finally wins Gilbert’s admiration.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Speer denounces Hitler in court and claims he plotted to assassinate him.

EXT. FUHRERBUNKER – NIGHT

Speer cases the Fuhrerbunker. Security has been tightened. The ventilation shafts where have been raised out of the reach of poison gas. Speer’s plan is a no go.

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Goering screams that Speer is a traitor and vows to have him hanged.

INT. GOERING’S CELL – DAY

Goering persuades a guard to take a note to…

INT. PRISON CLINIC – DAY

…a contact in the prison clinic…

EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

…who delivers it to the ex-SS soldier who lives with his boys in the rubble.

Scene Arc: Henry tried to get through to Goering via his daughter. He looks after German kids in his office during a family visit. Goering is moved to tears by his daughter’s painting.

Essence: Henry tries to get through to Goering via his little daughter.

Conflict: Goering v his own denial.

Subtext: The power of art for truth or poisonous propaganda.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry will finally get through to Goering. Fear this last-ditch attempt will fail.

EXT / INT BOMB DAMAGED HOUSE, GERMANY – DAY

Henry delivers groceries to Goering’s wife, Emmy, and a paintbox to his daughter, Edda, and asks her to paint a picture for her father.

INT. CHAPLAIN’S OFFICE – DAY

Henry and Sixtus are overwhelmed with boisterous hungry German kids while their mothers visit the Nazis. One boy gives thanks to the Fuhrer for his food, while Edda Goering asks Henry to read her picture book – a Jew-hating propaganda piece written by Julius Streicher.

INT. VISITING ROOM – DAY

Emmy Goering visits her husband and gives him her daughter’s painting, which moves him to tears.

Scene Arc: Alma listens to a broadcast from the court in St Louis, while Fuller takes bets on how many will hang. Sergeant Brannigan bets the house on 11. Eleven Nazis are sentenced. But Fuller insists on waiting till they hang. Brannigan threatens to kill him. Meanwhile the hangman is erecting scaffolds.

Essence: Tension mounts as we near the execution.

Conflict: Fuller v Brannigan over a wager. Alma v Henry over his apparent failure.

Subtext: Death awaits. A ticking clock.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Fuller will survive. Fear that Fuller could be killed. Hope that the chaplains will get through to the Nazis. Fear that they will fail.

EXT ALMA’S HOUSE – INT. ALMA’S PARLOUR – DAY

The trial is about to end. Alma is listening on the radio with friends. There’s embarrassment when none of the Nazis takes responsibility. But Speer gives a chilling prophecy of ruthless total warfare, driven by technology.

EXT. PALACE OF JUSTICE – NIGHT

Fuller is taking bets on how many Nazis to hang. His racist sergeant stakes the motherlode on 11. If Brannigan is right, how can Fuller pay?

INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Sentencing: 11 Nazis to hang. Fuller is in deep trouble.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT

Brannigan wants his money. Fuller says they all have to hang first. Brannigan threatens to kill him – but he can’t do it here.

Scene Arc: Execution draws near. Henry confronts Goering in his cell and fails.

Essence: Henry confronts Goering.

Conflict: Tension mounts.

Subtext: Goering’s true colours revealed.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Henry can finally get through to Goering. Growing fear that the chaplain seems doomed to fail.

INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT

The hangman is erecting scaffolds…

INT. GOERING’S CELL – NIGHT

…and the hammering and sawing reaches the prisoners’ cells. Henry makes one final huge effort to get through to Goering – but fails. Goering insists on execution by firing squad, rather than hanging a common criminal. Despite sneering at Christ, he demands communion – as an insurance policy. Henry has no choice but to refuse.

Scene Arc: Fuller tries to hustle cash in Nuremberg.

Essence: Fuller is fighting for his life.

Conflict: Fuller v Brannigan, and Fuller on the run from the Russians.

Subtext: Fuller is a marked man.

Hope/Fear: Hope Fuller will survive. Overwhelming fear he will be caught and killed.

EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

Fuller hustles Russian soldiers for cash to give Brannigan. Wise to him, they give chase. Fuller gets away.

ACT 4

Scene Arc: Henry goes to Nuremberg in search of Fuller but finds news that could get through to Goering. The SS man in the rubble has the same paper.

Essence: Henry fails to find Fuller but gets news that could finally persuade Goering.

Conflict: Henry v self-doubt, Fuller v Brannigan, Henry v Goering, the Werwolves v the trial.

Subtext: The resistance have seen the same story – will it shift their resolve?

Hope/Fear: Fear of failure, with both Sam and Goering. Hope of finally getting through to Goering.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – DAY

Fuller is missing. Torn between the needs of the condemned men and his assistant, Henry goes in search of Sam…

EXT. NUREMBERG – DAY

…but fails to find him. Henry picks up a newspaper at a kiosk. What he reads hits him like a thunderclap and gives him hope. He hurries back… passing the ex-SS Nazi sitting as ever, reading his own copy of the same paper.

Scene Arc: Henry confronts Goering with his go-for-broke revelation from the paper that he was swindled by an art forger. Henry loses his temper. He fails and leaves. But he and the Catholic chaplain get through to other Nazis awaiting execution. Then Goering commits suicide.

Essence: Failure with Goering, who commits suicide.

Conflict: Final conflict with Goering.

Subtext: Goering clings on to his vanity to the bitter end.

Hope/Fear: Hope Henry will break through to Goering. Fear Henry’s temper has undermined all his efforts. Hope Henry can get through to the other Nazis.

INT. GOERING’S CELL – DAY

Armed with a fresh revelation, Henry goes-for-broke in confrontation with Goering.

INT. CARINHALL, GOERING’S ESTATE – DAY

Goering is swindled out of a fortune and a chunk of his looted art by a forger.

INT. GOERING’S CELL – EVENING

Goering is shocked and furious at this revelation. Henry loses his temper, and Goering refuses the chaplain’s final offer of help.

INT. OTHER CELLS – NIGHT

But Henry and O’Connor do get through to many of the other Nazis, whose minds are concentrated by their impending executions.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT

A guard hears Goering spluttering. He raises the alarm.

INT. GOERING’S CELL – NIGHT

Goering commits suicide by cyanide capsule.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT

The Catholic chaplain consoles Henry who feels he failed him by losing his temper.

Scene Arc: Walking the other Nazis to the scaffold. The botched executions. Severe stress on the chaplains.

Essence: The Nazis hang, but the executions are botched.

Conflict: The stress is too much for the chaplains.

Subtext: The chaplains finally got through to some of the Nazis. Their work has paid off. But biblical vengeance is exercised on Streicher.

Hope/Fear: Hope that some of the defendants will make their peace. Fear that some have refused and clung on to their Nazi faith.

EXT. JAIL – NIGHT

Henry walks the first condemned man, Ribbentrop, to the gymnasium and the waiting gallows.

INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT

One by one the prisoners hang. Ten go to the gallows accompanied by Henry and Sixtus. who feel the strain as the executions are botched by the hangman.

Scene Arc: Brannigan heads into Nuremberg to find Fuller and his cash. Confrontation in an ally. Fuller shoots the sergeant.

Essence: Brannigan goes to kill Fuller.

Conflict: Brannigan v Fuller.

Subtext: Henry has finally got through to Fuller.

Hope/Fear: Fear that Fuller will be killed. Hope he will survive.

INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT

Brannigan goes to find Fuller to demand his payout. Another guard tells him only ten men were hanged, so no deal.

EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

Brannigan and two cronies head into Nuremberg to search for Fuller. They trap him in an alley. Brannigan had his white girlfriend beaten and now plans to cut him with a knife. Fuller snatches a gun, just as he did in Dachau, shoots the sergeant and runs.

Scene Arc: US patrol sees German kids burning an effigy of Goering. Troops take the Nazis’ bodies to be burned and their ashes scattered.

Essence: The German resistance gives up the fight. The Nazis are burned and their ashes scattered.

Conflict: US patrol v German kids.

Subtext: Racism is a universal issue. Mercy can overcome hatred. The Nazi legend is broken.

Hope/Fear: Hope for a final end to this conflict.

EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

A US Army patrol on the lookout for Nazi resistance, comes across German kids burning an effigy of Goering. The spirit of the Werwolves and the Nazi legend has finally been broken.

EXT. CREMATORIUM – NIGHT

US soldiers take the bodies of Goering and the others to be burnt…

EXT. GERMAN RIVER – NIGHT

…and their ashes scattered on a river and sent to oblivion.

Scene Arc: Menard prison 15 yrs later. Fuller is playing the piano. A guard says Henry is dead. Fuller tells his story to the Parole Board. He could have killed the Sgnt in Nuremberg – and had good cause – but he spared him.

Essence: Fuller is now at Menard as Henry’s assistant. But Henry dies.

Conflict: Fuller v Parole Board.

Subtext: Everyone needs to receive and to give mercy. Fuller has shown it.

Hope/Fear: Hope that the Parole Board will let Fuller walk free. Fear they won’t.

INT. MENARD PRISON 1961 – DAY

Older Sam Fuller is pounding the piano while prisoners clap and stomp. A guard bursts in. Henry Gerecke is dead…

EXT. MENARD PRISON – DAY

A Chrysler sedan trickles into a wall. Henry has had a heart attack at the wheel.

INT. MENARD SECURE ROOM – DAY

Fuller is telling his story to the Parole Board. They ask about the shooting.

EXT. NUREMBERG 1946 – NIGHT

Fuller confronts Brannigan with a gun, but sees Henry getting in his way at Dachau, so only shoots Brannigan in the ear.

INT. MENARD PRISON – DAY

Fuller explains he was court-martialled, and jailed. Then Henry had him transferred to be his assistant at Menard.

Scene Arc: Henry is reunited with his family, reconciled to Fuller. The Parole Board quiz him about Goering’s suicide. Fuller confesses to getting the hangman to botch the executions to avenge them both.

Essence: Resolution scene. Fuller tries to persuade the Parole Board that what he did was justified.

Conflict: Fuller v Henry – Fuller reconciled to himself, his father and the chaplain.

Subtext: Mercy is one thing, but justice has still been served.

Hope/Fear: Hope that the Fuller will get the Parole Board to see it his way. Fear he will fail. Hope Henry will be reconciled to Alma and reunited with his boys.

EXT/INT. GERECKE HOME, ST LOUIS – DAY

Henry went home, was reunited with Alma and his boys and resumed his prison ministry.

INT. MENARD PRISON – DAY

Henry helped Fuller forgive his father and make peace with himself. Sympathetic to Fuller’s reasons for the shooting, the Parole Board quiz Sam about the rumour he slipped Goering his cyanide. Fuller denies it…

INT. NUREMBERG GYMNASIUM – NIGHT

…but says he told the hangman that the SS had murdered his buddy, too, and the hangman deliberately botched the hangings.

Scene Arc: Fuller and the prisoners pay their respects to Henry. The Parole Board release Sam to attend Henry’s memorial, where he plays the organ.

Essence: Fuller is vindicated. He gets to play the organ at Henry’s memorial – hot.

Conflict: Resolved.

Subtext: Mercy and justice have been served.

Hope/Fear: Hope that Fuller is now a free man – in every sense.

INT. MENARD CHAPEL – DAY

Prisoners and Sam Fuller queue to pay their respects to Henry Gerecke.

EXT. MENARD – DAY

Fuller walks out of Menard a free man…

EXT. ST LOUIS STREET AND CHURCH – DAY

…and follows the crowds heading to church…

INT. LUTHERAN CHURCH – DAY

For Henry Gerecke’s memorial service which is packed. Where he is invited to play the organ – hot!

Thank you!

[victor Valleau]

WIM Vic Valleau Mod 4 Lesson 9: Scene Requirements

VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.

What I learned doing this assignment: Need 5-8 pages of scene slug lines, etc I need more story, more story in second or third act. More story, subplots? B story? Build up Bob’s character? Mia and Lawyer could fight over Wyle.

10am Trim it down, do 5 scene requirements for every; slugline, I have about 20, need 40.

Added 2 spying subplots, yea!!! Bob and Mia, and Laura.

Mia’s spied on Wyle since beginning, because women chase him. He gives in to temptation.

Scene Arc: From Bob parking in Clinic Doctors parking lot to

EXT. CLINIC DOCTOR’S PARKING LOT- DAY

What happens: Bob spots Mia entering Sperm donor clinic as he parks, takes off wedding ring, waves at her, she turns away.

VERSIONS

1. Dilemma

Beginning Bob can lose his job pursuing Mia.

Middle

end

Superior Knowledge- She ignores him, shuns contact

VERSION 1-3 1. Bob spots Mia 2. who 3. hides.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Doesn’t respond to his wolf whistles

Beginning: Intrigue Bob hold her hands kisses like lovers.

Beginning: More interesting setting:His stereo store job

3 Middles: Mia 1. Responds romantically 2. Not at all or 3. Superior position of she knows him, he doesn’t know her.

3 Ends (misinterpretation) Bob treats her as a lover 2. Bob runs away 3.Mia has him arrested.

SCENE 2 .

Leaving hospital

Essence Goal is seeing his desperation to impress Mia.

INT. CLINIC – DAY

Essence is Bob’s sad routine on display, tries to impress staff.

Conflict between characters is Staff laughs at him.

He checks in as Brad Pitts brother, Bob Pitt. “Date” readiness, and his claim he found mother for his baby. “Just a baby to call me daddy” refrain. Meanwhile Mia ignores him, awaits lecture on Ectopic pregnancy by Samantha.

INT. CLINIC – DAY

Version 1: Bob

Beginning

Middle End

INT/EXT. CLINIC- DAY

Mia comes out of ladies room, collides with Bob With sperm cup in hand, chases her.

Scene Arc Bob chases Mia to end of gets fired. begin and end

Essence: goal

Conflict: between characters: Mia’s running and screaming

Subtext:: She thinks her ectopic pregnancy was Bob’s sperm, too ambitious, rushing to meet egg inside tube, not waiting like a polite sperm in uterus.

Hope: Bad Bob to zip up his pants, be a gentleman.

Fear: Bad bob gets repercussions

INT. CLINIC – DAY

BOB COMES BACK TRIES AND FAILS TO FLIRTS WITH STAFF

Conflict between characters is Bob has a lot to prove.

Samantha fires him.

Scene Arc Bob meets Mia to end of gets fired. begin and end

Essence: goal

Conflict: Samantha fires Bob. Why?

Hope: Sam relents.

Fear: Sam sees through his pretense to loneliness, covertly tries to get a gf for him from her single donees.

Bob gets slammed by Sam for accosting Mia, but with a suspicious flimsy excuse not real reason. He senses her affair with Wyle, Mia’s fiancé.

INT. SAM’S OFFICE CLINIC – DAY

Sam asks donee if she’s like a nice man to go with the sperm? His name is Bobb Pit.

INT. CLINIC DONATION ROOM- NIGHT

Sam locks door, corners Mia there to see Bob, subtle threats to stay away from Bob. He’s a liar. About everybody, me, you, everybody Wyle. Don’t tell him anything.

MIA defends Bob to Sam, backstory

INT. SHADY BAR – NIGHT

Mia teams with Bob to spy on Sam.

Ext LAX – NIGHT

Wyle arrives, looking like royalty, no explanation of who or why, big greeter with sign of WYLE.

EXT. YACHT – NIGHT

Bob and Mia hunker down in dingy tied to Wyle’s yacht. Wyle unlocks dock gate, walks to his yacht. No explanation.

Purpose is to show Bob is outmatched.

Scene arc: begins at dock gate Wyle keyed in, ends with lights out in yacht.

Essence: Suspense, humor, show Wyle is alone.

Conflict: Bob wants to quit spying, too dangerous.

Subtext: Bob wants good life, Wyle has.

Hope to fear: Wyle comes on deck with gun, shoots in air to scare intruders.

Now what? Keep going with more subplot. Who? Lawyer ex-girlfriend still goes for Wyle.

She busts him so he avoids her. What’s her name? LAURA KIDDIE When do we first see her, never?

Hear lots about her, before seeing her. She calls Wyle says she’s coming to yacht. Wyle yells, no, then calls her from yacht- they argue. She tries to break in thru gate, he ignores her but comes out, shoots gun. Why did Mia hire her? To spy on Wyle when Laura was already having an affair with Wyle. Mia suspected. Get ready for divorce.

Laura has a million dollar TAX judgment against Wyle hanging over his head. Like Alex Jones, he will never get away from it. But Wyle has assets (yacht) to protect.

INT. RITZ CARLTON – DAY

NEW WOMAN FLIRTS MEETS WYLE, NO EXPLANATIONS. Mia comes out of ladies room, slinks around.

Scene Arc: Mia walked up to Wyle, diverted by new woman.

Essence: Shows player

Conflict: Mia is shuttled to second fiddle, or lower.

Subtext: Wyle is desirable man

Fear to hope: New woman refuses romance.

EXT. INDIAN CASINO – NIGHT

Bob throws up from fear, comes out of men’s room in Indian disguise, slinks around. WYLE IS A HIGH ROLLLER WITH SAMANTHA IN ULTRA SEXY OUTFIT NEXT TO HIM.

Scene arc: Bob spies, hunkers up to betting table with Wyle, affects a Texas accent, leaves when he sees Samantha, pretends he leaves as he realizes it’s a $500 min table.

Essence: Bob is fully in the game, helping Mia, living exciting life.

Conflict: Avoiding Sam.

Subtext: Bob excited to be fully alive, at stake is his future.

Fear 2 hope: Vomiting to bolting away from Sam.

SCENE REQUIREMENTS TO BE ADDED

1. Scene Arc-begin with Sam threats and ends with Bob defusing situation. .

2. Essence-main objective: HUMOR AND Show Wyle’s vulnerability and soft side.

3. conflict: opposition: Sam laughs at him, says sex is trap for men, DONATORS ARE LUCKY.

4. subtext: another meaning beneath: Injury to manhood

5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Wyle hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.

INT. CLINIC NIGHT

Scene Arc/ SHORT DESCRIPTION Bob is mopping floors in janitors uniform. Sam pops in, supervises.

Essence Bob’s keeps clinic cred. And cool and rent money but loses donor claims.

Conflict between characters is Samantha laughs at him. .

Scene Arc Bob mops floor.

Essence: goal Bob’s demotion from donor to sketchy janitor.

Conflict: between characters; Bob bows down to Sam.

Subtext:: Enduring humiliation, Bob’s committed to help Mia by spying on Sam.

Hope/fear: We hope Bob helps Mia.

ACT 2

UNDERHANDED PLOT TO TELL Mia about Wyle and Sam.

EXT. CLINIC DOCTOR’S PARKING LOT – DAY

Sam follows Bob out, begs him to not tell Mia but he wants Mia and threatens to separate Mia from Wyle with this information.

EXT. WYLE AND MIA FIGHT, SHE RUNS OUT.

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Mia and Wyle fight. Mia runs out, running into Bob who was stalking her.

Ectopic pregnancy and Wyle opposes abortion, which she did.

Scene Arc to change : Bob promises MIA they will always be friends. Change is against her warning to stay away, that Wyle gets violent.

End of scene is chasing after her promising friends always, like college.

Essence Goal.

INT. CLINIC- NIGHT

Wyle opposes Bob. Sam told Wyle who blames Bob as the father. Uncertain, BOB SNEAKS RECORDS SEEING IT WAS HIS ECTOPIC BABY Mia lost.

This is two or three sceenes????

Bob opposes wWyle Bob says how did you know who told you I was father, records are secret?

Wyle is trapped, weakly lies out of trap or blames Mia?

Wyle passes test for potency, can father Mia’s baby.

Daddy’s little girl scene.

STORY POINTS TO TURN INTO SCENES:

MIA IS FIRST TO REPENT: APOLOGIZES TO BOB HE DIDN’T CAUSE IT: Prolactin caused it. Pituatary overactive from so much yoga. Super fertile

Talks to yoga friend who says be careful with headstands, stop so not so fertile.

How does Bob and Sam get Mia reconciled to Wyle? Sam threatens Wyle t0 tell Mia about their affair. Why? Because Bob will if she doesn’t.

EXT DOCK MARINA – NIGHT

Wyle gets Mia to visit his yacht.

EXT. OUTSIDE YACHT – NIGHT

Wyle gets amorous, as does she, hears “get a room” yells.

INT. YACHT – NIGHT

THEY GET DRUNK AS Wyle drinks laced Viagra, etc snuck in by Mia.

INT. YACHT – NIGHT

WYLE SO EXCITED W MIA HE ends up sex with a FRACTURED PENIS.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- DAY (pp73-77 seasick script

CROWD AROUND Wyle’s as his plaster penis cast hardens.

1. Scene Arc-begin with Wyle sedated in bed and ends Wyle fears popping stitches, holding his penis together.

2. Essence-main objective: Show Wyle’s vulnerability and soft side.

3. conflict: opposition: Sam laughs at him, says sex is trap for men.

4. 5 REQUIREMENTS FOR EACH SCENE

subtext: another meaning beneath: Injury to manhood.

5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Wyle/ audience hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.

SCENE REQUIREMENTS TO BE ADDED

1. Scene Arc-begin with Wyle sedated in bed and ends Wyle fears popping stitches, holding his penis together.

2. Essence-main objective: HUMOR AND Show Wyle’s vulnerability and see him as sympathetic.

3. conflict: opposition: Sam laughs at him, says sex is trap for men, DONATORS ARE LUCKY.

4. subtext: another meaning beneath: Injury to manhood

5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Wyle hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.

EXT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

CONSPIRACY WITH BOB, MIA AND SAM WHO COVERED UP BUT WYLE PASSED HIS TESTS FOR POTENCY. MIA IS THRILLED.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM/ BED – DAY

WYLE OVERHEARS SAM, IS ENRAGED, PULLS OUT ALL HIS PENIS TUBES, JUMPS OUT OF BED WITH ERECT PLASTER CAST, CHASES HER DOWN THE HALL.

INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS

THAT’S WHAT I CALL A FULL RECOVERY SAYS NURSE TO DR. DICKSON AS THEY WATCH WYLE CHASING SAMANTHA.. WYLE’S AND OTHER VISITORS CHEER WYLE AS HE CHASES SAM. .

INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS

OTHER MEN PATIENTS SAY I WANT that sex drive he had. HE GOT TO CHASE THAT WOMAN. WOW THAT’S A SEX DRIVE, I NEED! Ill pay double!

53. INT HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER

WYLE IS being CONNECTED TO TUBES AGAIN.

Dr. Dickson is crying says over and over My masterpiece, ruined!

says you shot yourself in the foot, maybe not ever heal from those rips and tears.

In despair, he leaves.

Scene Arc-begin with Doctor examining etc Wyle sedated in bed and ends with Doctor lamenting Pop PoP POP

2. Essence-main objective: HUMOR AND Show Wyle’s vulnerability and see him as sympathetic.

3. conflict: opposition: Wyle’s temper could ruin his manhood.

4. subtext: another meaning beneath: Self-inflicted Injury to manhood

5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Audience hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.

Bob comes in room.

LATER

WYLE IS STARING OUT THE WINDOW, DEEP IN BAD THOUGHTS, UNREACHBLE.

BOB SAYS: Hey, stop it, no more suicide talk. I mean even stop thinking about it. A broken dick isn’t a broken life or even a broken marriage. Even for Mr. Coxman! There are other ways, look at me. I should know.

Wyle gets in bob’s face: GROWLS!

BOB GROWLS BACK. SAYS: Wake up, you have a great life! I can help you with her!

10 ADDITIONAL ACT 4 SCENES.

VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, and in high demand by buyers, producers, and other industry professionals.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: Intrigue is lurking inside dramatic moments.

One sentence description from each act for these elements:

ACT 1 Bob’s Grand Entrance Fizzles

Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on with Bob’s lying, pretend job, pretend girlfriend, pretend importance. And we must discover what it is

Secret Done He lies to everyone, mostly not successful.

Covert Agenda: Bob’s hidden plan that is being enacted is for Bob is donating again.

Hidden identity: A character is either lying or unaware of what his or her true identity is

Conspiracy: An agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other act without disclosing who they are.

Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another.

Superior position: The audience knows something that one or more of the characters don’t know.

Cover up: The act of concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.

Mystery: A key part of the story that has been hidden and we must discover what really happened.

ACT 2 Bob’s complicated Donor job.

Intrigue: Bob promises always friends to Mia but lying since Samantha owns Bob.

Secret Done: Bob knows Wyle’s and Sams affair.

Covert Agenda: Promises Sam secret is safe but not really.

Hidden identity: Bob is unaware of his weakness.

Conspiracy: Bob and Sam’s agreement fails because of Bob’s weakness. .

Scheme: An underhanded plot to lie to Mia about Wyle’s affair with Sam is a plot against another character.

Cover up: Sam interrupts Bob’s date with Mia, concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.

Mystery: A key part of the story is motivation and back stories of Bob, Wyle and Mia. That has been hidden and we must discover what really happened.

ACT 3 Bob, Mia, Sam, Wyle screw up and repent, kinda.

Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on under the surface and we must discover what it is

Secret Done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others.

Covert Agenda: Bob realizes his donation is covering up his real selfish reasons and problems.

Hidden identity: A character is either lying or unaware. Wyle loves Mia

.

Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another. Bob helps Wyle get back with Mia.

Superior position: ectopic pregnancy. Sam knows something that Mia had an ectopic pregnancy smothered the fetus requiring an abortion, Wyle would have opposed.

Cover up: Mia fearful of Wyle, hides this concealing or preventing exposure.

Mystery: A key part of the story that has been hidden and we must discover what really happened. Why does Bob lie about getting fired and janitor job?

Bob sneaks records seeing it was his ectopic baby Mia lost. What is backstory of Mia and Bob? Nothing but sperm donor. Mia blames Bob but he doesn’t know he’s father.

Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another: Bob against Wyle and Wyle against Bob.

ACT 4 Redemption (recover)

Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on with Bob and 1. Mia, 2. Sam or 3.whoever.

Covert Agenda: Mia surrenders to Wyle, planned by Bob and Samantha

Conspiracy: An agreement or confession by Bob with Mia or Sam or others act without

Wyle’s knowledge.

Superior position: The audience knows/ suspects something that Bob can’t admit that he just wants to be called “Daddy” Is his bogus cover up for wanting and needing love.

Cover up: Denied earlier, Wyle passes tests for potency, can father Mia’s child.

Mystery: Daddy moment with little girl almost gets Bob arrested because he sneaked Wyle’s classified info.

End of Lesson 9

[David Holloway]

see below

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  David Holloway.

[David Penn]

David’s Scene Requirements

My vision is to increase my skills to become an A list writer

What I learned from this assignment is the necessity of making every scene, replete with conflict and purpose.

I. EXT./INT. BOAT/SF MARINA

Chas lives on a messy, dinky boat receiving increasingly nasty calls from his student loan collector.

Scene Arc: We go from fancy yachts to a shitty boat

Essence: Chas is in deep shit

Conflict: The collector leaves threatening VM

Subtext: Chas is hiding away from the world, from reality

Hope/fear: We hope Chas avoids him. We fear he might get hurt.

I. EXT/INT. COLLECTION OFFICE, IDAHO

Scene Arc: Go from pleasant, peaceful office to heated, angry debate

Keith is fired from his job, grabs Chas’ info before he’s escorted out.

Essence: Keith is vicious and desperate

Conflict: He argues with his hippy boss for his job

Subtext: Keith will do anything to nail Chas, especially since he needs money to save his childhood home.

Hope/fear: We hope he keeps his job. Fear he won’t.

II. INT. CHAS’ BOAT

Scene Arc: From comfort to discomfort; ends with landlotrd demanding rent

Chas declines RJ’s to work for him, says that his life is fine

Essence: Chas can’t face reality

Conflict: RJ challenges Chas on his lifestyle

Subtext: Chas needs to get his shit togethe- gonna get evicted

Hope/fear: Chas doesn’t evicted. Fear he will.

III. INT. BAR, IDAHO

Keith and his childhood buddy share stories before asking for a job; not only is there no jobs in town, his buddy thinking of relocating

Scene Arc: pleasant to confrontational

Essence: No jobs in town for Keith

Conflict: Upset at his buddy for thinking of leaving town; a billiard ball strikes Keith’s neck- we think he’s gonna fight college kids.

Subtext: Keith is stuck in the past

Hope/fear: Keith doesn’t fight the kids. Fear he will.

IV. INT. OFFICE BUILDINGS

Chas goes on three job interviews, all of which he gets denied

Scene Arc: Optimism to pessimisim

Essence: Chas can’t get a job- no focus, bad credit

Conflict: Each interview brings up weakness of Chas

Subtext: Chas wasted too many years, needs to figure out a plan

Hope/fear: Chas gets job. Fear he won’t.

V. EXT. PARK, SF

Chas laments to his Little Brother Trey about his situation

Scene Arc: Bad to worse, lamenting to seeing a homeless guy who looks just like him

Essence: Chas is fucked

Conflict: Chas can’t tell parents or friends the truth

Subtext: Chas is a footfall away from being homeless

Hope/fear: He’ll ask for help. Fear he won’t.

VI. EXT. KEITH’S BACKYARD, IDAHO

While Keith throws a ninja star, an IRS guy shows up and says if he doesn’t come up with 10 grand in 5 days, his house will be foreclosed

Scene Arc: pleasant to unpleasant

Essence: Keith needs 10 grand quick- believes Chas is his ticket

Conflict: Battles with the IRS guy over the foreclosure

Subtext: He’ll do anything to keep his childhood home- loves his recently deceased mother and hates change

Hope/fear. That he doesn’t harm/kill IRS guy. Fear he will.

VII. EXT/INT SPERM BANK

Scene Arc: negative to positive, from lying to his dad to having chance at job

Essence: Chas goes for only job he can get- sperm donor

Conflict: Questioned by haughty manager of the sperm bank; Chas lying to his dad

Subtext: Chas settles for shitty job with no responsibilies- doesn’t change his ways

Hope/fear. That he gets job. Fear he won’t.

VIII. INT/EXT. KEITH’S HOUSE

Keith packs a a shit ton of weapons for his trip to SF to hunt down Chas

Scene Arc: Hard to soft, in Keith’s manners (grabbing swords to taking photo of his beloved mom)

Essence: Keith’s gonna hunt down Chas

Conflict: Tosses gun on bed and it fires, nearly hitting him

Subtext: He’s doing this for his mom

Hope/fear. He doesn’t hurt himself. Fear he will.

IX. INT. CRYOBANK/HALLWAY

Chas gets the job, but told he can’t masturbate

Scene Arc: Happy to sad

Essence: Chas finally lands a job

Conflict: Told he can’t masturbate

Subtext: Chas has no girlfriend, all he does is masturbate

Hope/fear: He’ll keep job with the regulations. Fear he won’t.

X. INT. HALLWAY

Chas meets Christie and sparks fly. Embarrassed by coming out of the sperm bank, he says he’s a doctor.

Scene Arc: upset to thrilled; told he can’t masturbate to meeting his dreamgirl

Essence: Chas meets his dreamgirl

Conflict: Embarrassed, Chas tells her he’s a doctor

Subtext: Chas can’t face reality

Hope/fear: He can pull it off. Fear he won’t.

XI. INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE

An intern, Christie brings coffee for the lawyers. Her mentor Janeane encourages her to date a doctor

Scene Arc: Unsure to sure in regards to dating. Ends with her seeing Chas give an old lady a dollar… not seeing it’s for bus change.

Essence: Christie’s enamored with Chas

Conflict: Dicker (douchebag lawyer) hits on her and with Jeaneane, saying she doesn’t care about him being a doctor

Subtext: She’s naïve

Hope/fear: They’ll fall in love. Fear they won’t.

XII. INT/EXT TRUCK, MOVING

Keith drives his pickup truck towards California, RV of college kids pass by and laugh at him; girls flash him

Scene Arc: Happy to pissed to horny

Essence: Keith eyes the melons in the fruit basket after seeing the breasts

Conflict: College kids laugh at the redneck in a truck

Subtext: Keith is horny, hasn’t been with a girl in a while

Hope/fear: He doesn’t retaliate against kids. Fear he will.

XIII. EXT, BAR, SF

Over drinks, RJ offers his apartment to Chas

Scene Arc: Mocking Chas to Giving him apartment

Essence: Chas can carry out his ruse

Conflict: RJ and Haynes make fun of Chas for donating sperm

Subtext: Chas has good friends- he’s a good guy

Hope/fear: That Chas tries to date Christie. Fear he won’t

XIV. INT/EXT FRUIT CHECKPOINT

Keith devours fruit basket, gets stopped at checkpoint. His truck’s searched, weapons found, then RV with asshole kids drives past and cops chase them instead.

Scene Arc: Angry to terrified to relieved

Essence: Keith is detained, a violent threat to Chas

Conflict: Border cop finds all weapons, about to pull up Keith’s record and see he’s on probation

Subtext: Keith is outsider to California

Hope/fear: He doesn’t get arrested. Fear he will.

XV. EXT/INT RJ’S BMW

Chas waits for Christie to come out of office/coffee shop, when Janeane gives Chas Christie’s number- and a warning not to treat her badly.

Scene Arc: negative to positive, about to bail to getting number

Essence: Chas’ ruse is working out

Conflict: Jeaneane threatens him

Subtext: Janeane protects Christie

Hope/fear: He gets to see her. Fear he won’t

XVI. INT. RJ’S APARTMENT

Chas cleans up the apartment, getting rid of any evidence that RJ lives there. Christie shows up, he’s nervous, not knowing where the glasses are, etc.

Scene Arc: in control, confidence to out of control, no confidence

Essence: Chas is in over his head

Conflict: Doesn’t know how to open a wine bottle, doesn’t know where the glasses are, has to explain the 18 year old girl on RJ’s fridge

Subtext: Chas needs to come clean and end the ruse

Hope/fear: He gets away with it. Fear he gets busted.

XVII. EXT. FRATERNITY ROW

Frat guys play flip cup when Keith’s pick up parks on the street. He grabs a grenade and stomps toward the house next door (Chas’).

Scene Arc: Pleasant to unpleasant; who is this older redneck guy?

Essence: Keith is about to inflict pain- he’s on a mission

Conflict: Grabs grenade, menacing vs. partung college kids

Subtext: Keith is out if his element

Hope/fear: he doesn’t find Chas. Fear he will.

XVIII. INT. RJ’S APARTMENT

Chas and Christie eat jambalaya, talking and laughing, then realize food is scorching hot- they both spit out the food, gonna order pizza

Scene Arc: pleasant to unpleasant

Essence: Chas and Christie break the ice (literally)

Conflict: Christie questions Chas on trip to Mardi Gras; the food is way too hot to eat

Subtext: Chas can be himself around her- he should come clean

Hope/fear: He doesn’t get busted (his lie). Fear he will.

XIX. INT. FRAT HOUSE

Keith grabs Chas’ PAST DUE letters as a freshman (DJ) asks if he can help him. Keith ties DJ up to his bunk bed, threatening him.

Scene Arc: Calm to violent

Essence: Keith will do anything to get intel on Chas

Conflict: Keith theatends DJ, who pleads who doesn’t know who Chas is

Subtext: Keith is on tilt, dangerous

Hope/fear: He won’t torture DJ. Fear he will.

XX. INT. RJ’S APARTMENT

Chas and Christie play Battleship when RJ calls; Chas pretends he’s a patient as Christie finds a magazine with RJ’s name on it. Almost busted, Chas plays it off as an alias. Ends with a magical kiss.

Scene Arc: pleasant to cringeworthy to wonderful

Essence: Chas and Christie share their first kiss

Conflict: RJ calls, Chas has to cover; also has to cover about the magazine

Subtext: Despite the lies, these two are meant for one another

Hope/fear: Chas doesn’t get busted. Fear he will.

XXI. INT, FRAT HOUSE

Keith threatens DJ with his grenade. He’s about to break when a platoon shows up- frat boys back from paintball. They break into DJ’s room and shoot down Keith. Ends with someone saying he saw Chas as the sperm bank.

Scene Arc: Agitated to Gunned Down to Gaining Intel

Essence: Keith learns where Chas ‘works’ at

Conflict: Paintball shootout at close range

Subtext: Chas is well liked; these guys protect him

Hope/fear: Keith doesn’t kill DJ. Fear he will.

XXII. INT. RJ’S BEDROOM

Christie wakes up, not sure where she is. She’s reassured seeing Chas slept on the couch. Christie wants to explore SF; Chas has no money, so he wants to stay in.

Scene Arc: Anxious (where am I? to happy (gonna explore SF)

Essence: They’re gonna explore SF, but Chas needs to stop by work to get a check

Conflict: Chas wants to stay in cause he has no money

Subtext: Christie is like a child, exuberant

Hope/fear: They go out and about. Fear they don’t.

XXIII. EXT. SPERM BANK

Christie waits for Chas in his car (RJ’s actually) when Keith comes up with a list of cryobanks and asks Christie if this is the right one.

Scene Arc: Keith goes from confused to titillated at seeing how beautiful Christie is.

Essence: Keith finds the right sperm donor

Conflict: Embarrassed, Keith explains it’s not for him

Subtext: Keith is horny

Hope/fear: He finds the right one. He doesn’t.

XXIV. INT. SPERM BANK

Chas pleads for Heidi to give him his check. She flirts with him, bHe tells her he has a girlfriend now and it feels good.

Scene Arc: Upset (no check) to Getting check

Essence: Chas has money now for his day of exploring

Conflict: Heidi flirts with him, wants to exchange the check for sex

Subtext: Chas has a girlfriend, first time he’s said it

Hope/fear: He gets check. Fear he won’t.

XXV. INT. SPERM BANK/HALLWAY

Chas swipes a doctor’s smock, then sees Keith in the hallway, who asks Chas where the cryobank is (he doesn’t know what Chas looks like). Chas puts on a harsh German accent and points down the hall. Then Dicker, the douchy lawyer, interrogates Chas before he leaves.

Scene Arc: Happy (smock) to terrified (seeing Keith) to annoyed (Dicker)

Essence: Chas fools Keith, his nemesis

Conflict: They meet in hallway- Chas recognizes Keith’s voice. Also, tension with Dicker who ridicules him.

Subtext: Pulling this off won’t be easy- two antagonists after him

Hope/Fear. Keith doesn’t recognize him. Fear he will.

XXVI. EXT. CAR/SIGHTS OF SF

Chas races out of the building with Keith in pursuit. Jumps in car and takes off. Have amazing day together, ending with a kiss at sunset at Twin Peaks.

Scene Arc: terrified to terrific

Essence: These two are meant for one another

Confict: Chas sees his homeless doppelganger in park; Keith finds out where Chas lives by stealing cryobank file

Subtext: Chas is getting in too deep

Hope/fear: They fall in love. Fear they don’t.

XXVII. EXT/INT CHAS’ BOAT

With help of Arnie the landlord, Keith finds Chas’ dinky boat. Kicks in the door and sees the shabby, messy living quarters. Realizes he’s on a fool’s errand.

Scene Arc: Confused to excited to depressed

Essence: Keith finds boat- sees that Chas has no money

Conflict: Arnie thinks Keith’s Chas dad and tries to get money out of him; Keith thinks someone’s inside boat… just Chas’ cat

Subtext: Fool’s errand

Hope/Fear: Chas is not inside. Fear that he is.

XXVIII. INT. RJ’S BEDROOM

Chas and Christie after making love. He says he loves her- she says you don’t even know me. She asks him to tell her something she doesn’t know- chance to come clean but doesn’t. Ends with Christie inviting him to parents anniversary, then says she loves him, too.

Scene Arc: Excited to anxious; he’s in too deep now

Essence: Christie’s falling in love with the fake Chas

Conflict: Chas lets out some truths, i.e, having a boat and a cat, nearly blowing his cover

Subtext: Chas is in too deep

Hope/Fear. He comes clean. Fear he won’t.

XXIX. INT CHAS’ BOAT

Keith reflects on his life seeing all of Chas’ college photos on the wall. Then spies Chas’ computer: Christie’s Facebook page is open, showing the law firm she interns at- bingo.

Scene Arc: Regret to Excitement

Essence: Keith finds out where Christie works

Conflict: His emotions seeing all the fun college pics; regret washes over him

Subtext: Keith regrets never having gone to college

Hope/fear: He gives up mission. Fear he won’t.

XXX. EXT. COFFEE SHOP, SF

Chas and Christie share a newspaper like a couple. Chas’ dad calls while Christie hands her muffin to a homeless man.

Scene Arc: good to better; harmony to perfection

Essence: Chas tells dad he got the bank job, ‘everything’s perfect.’

Conflict: His dad calls; has to sort of lie to him

Subtext: Chas is heads over heels in love

Hope/fear: He tells dad the truth. Fear he won’t.

XXXI. INT. LAW FIRM

Keith looks for Christie, but only Dicker is there. He happily gives Keith’s Christie’s home address

Scene Arc: Angry to happy; getting stomewalled to getting address

Essence: Keith gets Christie’s home address

Conflict: Dicker stonewalls Keith, protecting Christie, until he finds out who Keith is- they’re on the same side

Subtext: Dicker stalks Christie/Would love to bust Chas

Hope/fear: The mission ends here. Fear it won’t.

XXXII. EXT. STREET/KID’S HOSPITAL

Christie parks her car in the worst part of town, takes Chas to her charity of choice: a children’s hospital.

Scene Arc: Uncomfortable to sick in the stomach

Essence: Christie shows Chas the place where she volunteers

Conflict: Chas questions her on the bad part of town, then feels terrible seeing the hospital

Subtext: Chas is fucked; gonna have to prove he’s a doctor

Hope/fear: It’s somewhere nice, playful. Fear it won’t be.

XXXIII. INT. KID’S HOSPITAL

Christie introduces Chas to Dr. Stu, who interrogates Chas- uncomfortablly after Christie tends to a child.

Scene Arc: Pleasant to Unpleasant

Essence: Dr. Stu threatens Chas not to hurt Christie

Conflict: Dr. Stu threatens Chas

Subtext: Chas needs to stop the ruse

Hope/fear: Chas doesn’t get busted. Fear he will.

XXXIV. EXT. CHRISTIE’S APARTMENT

Keith buzzes Christie’s apartment, but Christie’s roommate Liz won’t let him in, Fortunately, Christie’s friend from the block overheard this and wants to help him- and hurt Chas, who made fun of the area.

Scene Arc: Anxious to Angry to Relieved

Essence: Keith gets help from the ‘mayor of the block’ who knows Christie’s whereabouts

Conflict: Liz threatens to call the cops if Keith keeps buzzing

Subtext: Keith has hidden allies, all who want to punish Chas

Hope/Fear: Keith doesn’t find Christie. Fear he will.

XXXV. INT. KID’S HOSPITAL

Chas hangs out with sick kid, talking. The kid says he wants to be a doctor when he grows up, so he can help people. Chas feels sick, tells Christie he doesn’t feel good and bails,

Scene Arc: Pleasant to unpleasant

Essence: Chas feels so guilty he has to leave the hospital

Conflict: Sick kid wants to be a doctor like Chas. Chas feels awful.

Subtext: Chas can’t do the ruse anymore

Hope/fear: Chas comes clean. Fear he won’t.

XXXVI. INT. CITY BUS

Depressed, Chas sees all the signs inside the bus about college loans and hospitals and doctor.

Scene Arc: Bad to worse; ends with old lady who we saw earlier slamming into his seat

Essence: Chas feels guilty seeing the bus signs

Conflict: Regret washes over him; old lady slams into him

Subtext: Chas wasted his life

Hope/fear: He changes. Fear he won’t.

XXXVII. INT. KID’S HOSPITAL

Keith rushes in, asks about Christie. Dr. Stu lies, says she went to Africa on a mission.

Scene Arc: Excited to Despressed

Essence: Keith doesn’t find Christie

Conflict: Keith and Dr. Stu trade barbs

Subtext: Dr. Stu protects Christie, possibly loves her

Hope/fear: Keith doesn’t find Christie. Fear he will.

XXXVIII. EXT/INT. COLLEGE LIBRARY

Chas revists his old stomping grounds. Checks out a few medical books in the library with the help of DJ the freshman.

Scene Arc: Anxious to relieved

Essence: Chas gets medical books

Conflict: Students wonder why Chas is back on campus; his library card’s not good anymore- it was never used.

Subtext: Chas is changing

Hope/fear: He’ll get the books. Fear he won’t.

XXXIX. EXT. LIBRARY

DJ invites Chas to the frat house, but after some thought, Chas declines

Scene Arc: Excited to Sad (DJ’s perspective)

Essence: Chas bails on DJ, goes home

Conflict: DJ tells him about all the girls at the house, Chas is torn

Subtext: Chas is growing up

Hope/Fear: Chas doesn’t party with college kids. Fear he will.

XL. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT

A padlock’s on the boat, Keith can’t get in, Arnie the landlord offers the boat to rent to Keith. Keith cares about the cat that’s locked inside.

Scene Arc: Distraught to angry

Essence: The boat is locked- Chas has been evicted

Conflict: Arnie haggles over price, Keith’s upset about the cat

Subtext: Keith cares about animals- not the monster we think he is

Hope/fear: He gets the car out. Fear he won’t.

XLI. INT. CHRISTIE’S APARTMENT

Liz tells Christie’s she’s got a stalker as they play Scrabble.

Scene Arc: Anxious to pleasant

Essence: Liz tells Christie’s an older guy was looking for her

Conflict: Liz telling Christie she has a stalker

Subtext: Christie’s sweet and smart (puts down 7 letter word)

Hope/fear: She finds out who stalker is. Fear she won’t

XLIII. INT. RJ’S APARTMENT

Chas studies his medical books when Christie texts him ‘ I miss you.’ Feeling guilty, Chas turns off his phone, ending the relationship.

Scene Arc: Feeling good (engrossed in book) to feeling awful (ending the relationship)

Essence: Chas ends the relationship with Christie

Conflict: Emotions torn when Christie texts him

Subtext: Chas can’t face reality- he’d rather hide

Hope/fear: He texts her back. Fear he won’t

XLIV. INT. KEITH’S TRUCK

Lonely, Keith lies in the back, swigging whiskey. Scrolls through his phone, finds a contact and calls.

Scene Arc: Lonely to Companionship

Essence: Feeling lonely, Keith calls someone

Conflict: Should he call?

Subtext: Keith is all alone

Hope/fear: He makes the call. Fear he won’t.

XLV. INT. CHRISTIE’S APARTMENT

Scene Arc: Distraught to Comfortable/Pain Eased

Essence: Chas won’t return her calls/texts

Conflict: Why doesn’t he call? Also, Liz (a lesbian) cuddles up to Christie, too close for comfort

Subtext: Liz is in love with Christie

Hope/fear: Chas calls back. Fear he won’t.

XLVI. INT. HEIDI’S APARTMENT

Keith and Heidi have rough sex.

Scene Arc: Rough to happy

Essence: Keith and Heidi have sex

Conflict: Neighbors yelling at them for being loud

Subtext: They could be a budding couple

Hope/fear: They don’t get in trouble. Fear they will.

XLVII. INT. RJ’S APARTMENT

RJ comes home while Chas studies medical books. RJ says they’re going golfing in 45 minutes. Chas doesn’t want to, but relents.

Scene Arc: Pleasant to Unpleasant

Essence: Chas is engrossed in medical books

Conflict: Chas turned off phone, didn’t pick RJ up at airport. Chas supposed to hang out with Trey, doesn’t want to golf

Subtext: Chas found his passion

Hope/fear: Chas stays and studies. Fear he won’t.

XLVIII. EXT. WHARF/LOMBARD STREET/ALCATRAZ

His last day in SF, Keith visits all the hot spots, enjoying the city- until he sees the cells at Alcatraz, reminding him of his past.

Scene Arc: Elated to Miserable

Essence: Keith tours the city, living it up

Conflict: Fish out of water with SF liberals; sees prison cells

Subtext: Keith could actually live here

Hope/fear: He enjoys the city. Fear he won’t.

XLIX. EXT. GOLF COURSE

Chas, Trey, RJ, and Haynes play golf, discussing Christie.

Scene Arc: Pleasant to Unpleasant

Essence: RJ tells Chas to move on, forget her

Conflict: Trey says Chas love her, gets ridiculed; RJ makes fun of Chas fo donating sperm, offers him job again

Subtext: Chas does love her

Hope/Fear: Chas doesn’t listen to RJ. Fear he will.

L. EXT. YACHT

Christie and her parents gather for the big anniversary party.

Scene Arc: Anxious to Happy

Essence: They wonder when Chas will show up

Conflict: Will he show up?

Subtext: They’re a loving family

Hope/Fear: Chas shows up. Fear he won’t.

LI. EXT. PARK

Keith sees the homeless guy who looks like Chas and accosts him.

Scene Arc: Depressed to Excited to Menacing

Essence: Keith finds Chas (or so Keith thinks)

Conflict: The bum claims he’s not Chas- Keith doesn’t believe him, pulls a knife on him.

Subtext: Keith is desperate

Hope/Fear: Keith doesn’t kill him. Fear he might.

LII. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT

Back from golf, Chas is locked out of the boat. Sees an old, adoring couple and thinks of Christie.

Scene Arc: Distraught to Excited

Essence: Chas is evicted

Conflict: Boat’s padlocked with all his stuff inside

Subtext: Chas realizes he’s in love with Christie- nothing else matters.

Hope/fear: He can get his suit inside the boat. Fear he won’t.

LIII. EXT. PARK

Keith calls the bum’s parents, realizes he got the wrong guy

Scene Arc: Excited to Dismayed

Essence: Keith got the wrong guy

Conflict: Keith finds out he got the wrong guy, tells parents his son’s a bum, giving hummers in the park

Subtext: It’s over for Keith

Hope/fear: He doesn’t harm the bum. Fear he will.

LIV. INT. LAW FIRM

Dicker snoops around, finds invite to Christie’s yacht party

Scene Arc: Curious to Ceepy to Elated

Essence: Dicker finds invite to party

Conflict: Sees ‘Chas and Christie’ on calendar, scoffs. Snooping around her desk, afraid he might get caught

Subtext: Dicker’s creepy

Hope/fear: He doesn’t find anything. Fear he will.

LV. INT. KEITH’S TRUCK

Depressed, Keith sits in the truck with a gun in his lap. Then gets call from Diicker and springs to life.

Scene Arc: Suicidal to Ecstatic

Essence: Thanks to Dicker, Keith knows where Christie (and Chas) will be

Conflict: Suicidal, gun out with photo of mom whom he let down

Subtext: Keith let his mom down

Hope/fear: The call is good news. Fear it won’t be.

LVI. EXT. MARINA

Chas and Trey seach for Christie’s yacht… find it.

Scene Arc: Anxious to Elated

Essence: Chas finds Christie

Conflict: Can’t find it, anxious. Trey tells Chas to telll her the truth.

Subtext: Trey is actually a mentor to Chas

Hope/fear: Finds the yacht. Fear he won’t.

LVII. EXT. YACHT

Chas comes onboard and meets Christie and her parents. He takes Christie away to tell her something when Dicker shows up uninvited

Scene Arc: Happy to sad

Essence: Chas shows up, reunites with Christie

Conflict: Why didn’t he call? Also, Dicker shows up, upsetting everyone onboard

Subtext: Chas is finally gonna come clean

Hope/fear: Chas tells her the truth. Fear he won’t.

LVIII. EXT. MARINA

Keith chases down the yacht, but it’s gone. Then Arnie shows up and wants to get Chas.

Scene Arc: Anxious to Distraught to Excited

Essence: They’re gonna take Chas’ boat to get to the yacht

Conflict: Grenade in pocket scares tourist, yacht takes off before he gets there

Hope/Fear. He misses yacht. Fear he doesn’t.

LIX. INT. BOAT

Chas is finally gonna come clean, but Christie doesn’t want to hear bad news on her parents anniversary.

Scene Arc: Anxious to Relief

Essence: Chas is let off the hook

Conflict: Chas says he has bad news, Christie calls him a liar… for saying he was gonna call.

Subtext: Chas will never tell the truth unless he’s forced to

Hope/Fear: He tells her the truth. Fear he doesn’t.

LX. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT

Keith and Arnie unfurl the shabby sails, not sure if it’s gonna make it.

Scene Arc: Excited to Skeptical

Essence: They’re gonna take Chas’ boat

Conflict: Debate if this will make it

Subtext: They haven’t got a chance

Hope/fear: It will make it. Fear it won’t.

LXI. EXT. YACHT

Caroline gives speech as Christie clenches Chas’ hand.

Scene Arc: Funny to Romantic

Essence: Caroline loves Gary despite him being poor

Conflict: Caroline pokes fun at Gary’s poverty

Subtext: Christie can accept Chas’ poverty

Hope/fear: Christie will forgive Chas (when he eventually tells her the truth). Fear she won’t

LXII. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT

Waves pummel the boat, knocking off Arnie’s toupee.

Scene Arc: Bad to Worse

Essence: The tiny boat is getting pummeled

Conflict: Will they make it? Arnie’s toupee flies off.

Subtext: No way this boat will make it

Hope/Fear: They don’t drown. Fear they will.

LXIII. EXT. YACHT

Gary gives his speech, ending in a toast as the band starts up.

Scene Arc: romantic to funny

Essence: Gary’s crazy in love with his wife

Conflict: Dr. Dtu glares at Chas, envious

Subtext: Gary’s a dreamer like Chas

Hope/Fear: Dr. Stu doesn’t do anything to Chas. Fear he will.

LXIV. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT/YACHT

Keith and Arnie reach the yacht

Scene Arc: Terrified (a shark circles) to Joy (landing on yacht)

Essence: They reach the yacht

Conflict: The shark, the waves, climbing onto the yacht

Subtext: Keith will stop at nothing to nail Chas

Hope/fear: They don’t get eaten by shark. Fear they will.

LXV. EXT. YACHT

Keith hunts down Chas amidst chaos. Dicket straightens Christie out on the truth of Chas, then Gary punches Dicker

Scene Arc: Startled to Confused to Violent

Essence: Keith tracks down Chas while Dicker tells Christie the truth

Conflict: Keith and Dr. Stu, Dicker and Christie/Gary

Subtext: Chas ruined the party

Hope/fear: Keith doesn’t catch Chas. Fear he will.

LXVI. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT

Chas is hog-tied, trying to explain to Christie on the yacht. Janeane comforts Christie, who now knows the truth.

Scene Arc: Bewildered to Upset

Essence: Christie realizes she was made a fool of.

Conflict: Chas hog-tied, Christie telling Janeane that everything he said was a lie

Subtext: Christie’s naïve

Hope/Fear: She’ll get over Chas. Fear she won’t.

LXVII. INT. CHAS’ BOAT

Keith forces Chas to tell his dad, gets him to wire 10 grand to Keith’s account.

Scene Arc: Distraught to Humiliated

Essence: Chas is forced to his dad the truth

Conflict: With a gun to his head, Chas breaks down sobbing, telling his dad the truth

Subtext: Chas would rather die than tell the truth

Hope/Fear: Chas will tell truth. Fear he won’t.

LXVIII. INT. BAR

Keith and Chas have a beer, reminiscing. Chas realizes he loves Christie and will not just let her go.

Scene Arc: Relaxed to Motivated

Essence: Chas realizes Christie is the only good thing in his life

Conflict: They talk about their very different pasts

Subtext: Keith not sure what his next move is- Chas is

Hope/Fear: Chas gets Christie back. Fear he won’t.

LXIX. INT. HALLWAY LAW FIRM

Chas gets rebuffed by Janeane

Scene Arc: Excited/Anxious to Distraught

Essence: Janeane says she doesn’t want anything to do with Chas

Conflict:Chas embarrassed Christie in front of her family

Subtext: It’s over

Hope/Fear: He can win her back. He can’t.

LXX. INT. LAW FIRM

Christie listens to Chas’ tender voicemails, then shoots down Dicker who flirts with her.

Scene Arc: Laughing to Serious

Essence: Christie still has feelings for Chas

Conflict: Dicker flirts with her, says he can sue her dad

Subtext: Christie is growing up

Hope/Fear: She’ll give him second chance. Fear she won’t.

LXXI. EXT. CHAS’ BOAT

Months later, Christie hesitantly approaches the boat… Keith and Heidi live on it now. Keith gives photos of her and Chas to Christie.

Scene Arc: Anxious to Happy

Essence: Chas is back East, paying off loans

Conflict: Not sure about giving Chas a second chance, torn when she sees photos

Subtext: Chas is growing up

Hope/Fear: Chas is not still living there. Fear he is.

LXXII. INT. BEDROOM, PARENTS HOUSE

Chas studies for the MCAT in neat room when Keith calls, says that Christie came to see him.

Scene Arc: Sedate to Motivated

Essence: Chas gets idea to see Christie again

Conflict: Keith calls, Chas cringes- old habit.

Subtext: Chas has got his life together

Hope/Fear: He sees her again. Fear he won’t.

LXXIII. EXT. YACHT

Chas hosts a prom party for Christie.

Scene Arc: Nervous to Elated

Essence: These two might be together again when Chas goes to med school

Conflict: Dr. Stu and Chas, Christie gives Chas shit for lying to her.

Subtext: She still cares for him; they might have a shot in the future

Hope/Fear: They kiss. Fear they won’t.

[Lisa Paris Long]

Module 4 – Lesson 9 Scene Requirements

Lisa Long’s Scene Requirements

My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.

What I learned from this assignment is to put together the scenes bit by bit. Build upon each lesson to create a strong outline.

Title: Chesapeake Girl

Genre: Drama

ACT ONE

EXT. PARKING LOT ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: April drops off Molly, her 10-year-old daughter with Ed and drives off. Molly melts down and Ed takes her inside. Ed lives over the restaurant.

Essence:
Ed and Molly meet for the first
time.
Conflict:
Molly is left with Ed, a
stranger.
Subtext:
April is a dancer/gypsy with a
boyfriend show doesn’t care for kids. She figures Molly would be better
off in one place. Molly is abandoned. Ed doesn’t know how to care for a
kid.
Hope/fear:
We hope April comes back for
Molly. Or that Ed will treat Molly well. How will Molly cope?

INT. ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Ed has his cook and right-hand person Jane take Molly upstairs to get settled in her room.

Essence:
Molly meets Jane and Chessie
(the dog) for the first time; Molly sees the restaurant for the
first time.
Conflict:
Molly doesn’t want to be there
and is still wiping away tears. Molly hates seafood!
Subtext:
Jane and Ed exchange glances as
if they know something
Hope/fear:
We hope Molly can adjust
eventually; What if it’s horrible?

INT. BEDROOM OVER RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Jane and Chessie show Molly her room and tell her how things operate.

Essence:
Molly looks around her bedroom;
Molly gets to know Jane and Chessie a bit
Conflict:
Molly doesn’t want to be there.
Subtext:
Molly is very sad that her mom
has abandoned her
Hope/fear:
Hopefully, Molly will like her
room, Jane and Chessie. What if she doesn’t?

INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly comes downstairs and goes into the kitchen where Jane is working on the dinner courses.

Essence:
Molly talks to Jane; Ed
interrupts
Conflict:
Ed tells Molly that she will
work in the restaurant. Molly objects strongly.
Subtext:
Ed is in charge. Molly must be
subordinate.
Hope/fear:
Will Molly and Ed continue to
bump heads? Will Molly have any choice in the matter?

INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING

Scene Arc: Molly is standing in the restaurant watching the patrons eat crabs. Ed yells at her to wipe down a table. Molly is mad that she’s been forced into child labor.

Essence:
Molly hates it here already.
Conflict:
Molly and Ed argue because she
doesn’t want to work.
Subtext:
Molly and Ed are both mad at
April.
Hope/fear:
Can they work out their
differences and get along?

EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Molly takes out the garbage and gets hassled.

Essence:
Molly wonders what Ed is to
her.
Conflict:
Molly is teased by the bus boys.
They call her “Ed’s love child”.
Subtext:
Molly wonders why they would
say that. Ed’s not her father.
Hope/fear:
We know that Ed is her father,
but she doesn’t know it.

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly meets Mars on the beach under an umbrella

Essence:
Molly and Mars both love dance
Conflict:
Ed said one of his rules was
not dancing
Subtext:
Molly hopes Mars can help her
with her dream
Hope/fear:
Can Molly get Mars to help her?

ACT TWO

INT. MARS DANCE STUDIO/HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: Mars is coaching Molly on steps for the Nutcracker. Molly and Mars talk about getting to NYC for the audition.

Essence:
Shows the bonding between Molly
and Mars
Conflict:
How will they get to NYC for
the audition? Molly sneaks out of the house every day to dance with Mars
Subtext:
Ed will never let Molly go
Hope/fear:
Molly will get to NYC for the
audition and get a dream part

EXT. CHESAPEAKE BAY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Molly and Ed have a fight and Molly runs out into a storm. Chessie follows her and they get into a small boat. Ed tries to get to them, but Mars sees them and swims out to them, pulling them to shore.

Essence:
Mars saves Molly, not Ed. Ed
acts more upset about Chessie than Molly.
Conflict:
Molly and Ed fight over her
dancing and working at the restaurant
Subtext:
Ed can’t take care of Molly. Ed
feels bad about forcing her out into the storm.
Hope/fear:
We hope Molly gets saved!

INT. MOLLY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Molly is recovering from her ordeal. Jane is helping her dry off and getting her ready for bed.

Essence:
Molly and Jane talk about Ed
and why he is the way he is
Conflict:
Molly is still upset with Ed
Subtext:
Molly wonders if she should
stay or go away forever
Hope/fear:
We hope Molly can rest and make
up with Ed

INT. MOLLY’S BEDROOM – MORNING

Scene Arc: Molly packs a small bag. She climbs out the second-floor window and shimmies down the roof. She runs down the beach towards Mars’ house.

Essence:
Molly runs away with Mars to NYC
to go to the audition
Conflict:
Molly doesn’t have permission
from Ed to go
Subtext:
Molly refuses to give up her
dream for anyone
Hope/fear:
Molly and Mars will be safe,
and she will get the part

ACT THREE

INT. MARS’ CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Mars and Molly are on the way to NYC for the Nutcracker audition they have been secretly working on.

Essence:
Molly lies to Mars and says
that Ed said she could go because he felt bad about the storm.
Conflict:
Molly lying could get Mars in
big trouble.
Subtext:
Molly is determined to follow
her dream no matter the consequences.
Hope/fear:
Molly will be safe, and she
will get the part she desires.

EXT. ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly and Mars return from NYC. Molly has gotten a good part in the Nutcracker.

Essence:
Mars tries to convince Ed to
let her go because it’s the opportunity of a lifetime for a girl.
Conflict:
Mars tries to tell Ed what a
good dancer Molly is, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He forbids Molly
from going to NYC again.
Subtext:
Ed is scared that something
will happen to Molly or that she won’t return as April didn’t.
Hope/fear:
Hopefully, Molly will get to
dance her dream

INT. ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Ed and Molly have a huge fight about the Nutcracker. After Ed figures out that Molly did it again and ran off to NYC, he decides he’s going after them.

Essence:
Ed goes after Molly and informs
the police that she ran away with Mars to NYC
Conflict:
Mars wants to talk to Ed before
they go but Molly makes excuses
Subtext:
Ed is worried sick about Molly;
Molly will do anything to dance
Hope/fear:
Ed can get to Molly before
anything happens to her. But also, that Molly makes her dream come true.

ACT FOUR

INT. NYC BALLET THEATER – EVENING

Scene Arc: Ed storms into the theater with a policeman! But when he sees Molly exquisitely dancing in the Nutcracker, he backs down and dismisses the police. He can’t bring himself to ruin her dream after all.

Essence:
Ed realizes he was wrong; Sees
April and all the emotions of the past flood back to him.
Conflict:
April wants to return, but Ed
will need to think about it.
Subtext:
Ed is still hurt that she left
him.
Hope/fear:
Hopefully, they can work it out
so they can be a family for once.

EXT. PATIO ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly returns from NYC with her tail between her legs. Ed has had time to reflect, so he doesn’t attack Molly as she expects him to do. They discuss what has happened, how they both have been hurt by April and whether to invite her back.

Essence:
Ed has changed by seeing Molly
dance and realizing it’s her calling just as it was April’s. Molly has
reached her dream but finds it bittersweet because she hurt Ed.
Conflict:
Ed and Molly have to put aside
their past to move ahead. Will they ever forgive April?
Subtext:
Ed and Molly are more alike
than different and have more in common than they knew.
Hope/fear:
Hope that the reunion will
last. Fear that April will ruin it.

INT. ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: April returns. April tells Ed that Molly is his daughter and not the choreographer’s she ran off with years before.

Essence:
April makes amends and
confesses her love for Ed
Conflict:
Ed still loves April too, but
can he forgive her for leaving him?
Subtext:
Ed’s hurt. April was hurt.
Hope/fear:
Hope that they can work it out.
Fear they won’t and it’ll all fall apart again.

EXT. MARS’ DRIVEWAY – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly says goodbye to Mars. Mars leaves to go back to NYC and pick up his life as a choreographer.

Essence:
Molly’s dream has been realized
thanks to Mars. Show love between them and endearing friendship.
Conflict:
Molly doesn’t want to say
goodbye to Mars. He’s her best friend at the Bay and her mentor.
Subtext:
Love can exist between an
unlikely pair such as a grown man and a 10-year-old girl.
Hope/fear:
Hope that Mars can return to
his life and be a success. Fear that Molly will never dance as she did in
NYC again.

INT. SHED BEHIND RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: One Month Later. April has set up a dance studio in the shed behind the restaurant and teaches dance.

Essence:
April is teaching Molly dance
when they aren’t working in the restaurant.
Conflict:
Ed emerges from the restaurant
and sits on the porch looking exhausted. He has given in to dance.
Subtext:
Ed is ill. April and Molly are
happy to be dancing again.
Hope/fear:
Hope that April and Molly
continue to dance. Fear that Ed isn’t going to be around much longer.

EXT. PATIO ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Six months later. April has been running the restaurant which is closed today. Ed is lying on a chaise on the patio with a blanket over him. Molly is sitting with him. April brings hot tea.

Essence:
April, Ed, and Molly have been a
family for 6 months. Ed dies. Molly dances a tribute to Ed on the beach at
the end.
Conflict:
Ed looks peaceful when he dies.
April and Molly console each other.
Subtext:
Ed is gone.
Hope/fear:
Hope April and Molly can be
happy without Ed. Fear is they won’t be happy without him.

[David Holloway]

Dave Holloway scene requirements

My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal values.

What I learned doing this assignment is that it gave me a clean overview of the story.

Act 1

Essence: We see Nigel Williamson passionately arguing in court for a mother to retain custody of her children.

Conflict: He is fighting for her to retain custody rather than having the state assume custody.

Subtext: We see he is passionate about these people who are his clients, but it’s a controlled passion, and he seems a very civilized man.

Hope/fear: We hope his client wins and fear she will not.

Essence: Nigel talks with a senior partner in his firm about how the case went and talks about his work on another case.

Conflict: He is trying to impress the senior partner with the quality of his work.

Subtext: He wants to ensure his future with the firm by presenting his work in a positive light.

Hope/fear: We hoope the senior partner is impressed by his work and fear he might not be.

Essence: When asked by co-workers at his firm to accompany them to a pub after work, he declines, telling them he wants to be home in case his wife, who is reporting from some of the independent states in North America, gives him a SKYPE call.

Conflict: They chide him about being dominated by his wife, and he humorously defends himself by pointing out the flaws in the others’ lives.

Subtext: We see his bond with his wife is strong, and he’s able to defend himself with quick thinking and wit.

Hope/fear: We hope the jibes of the others don’t hurt him and fear they might.

Essence: Nigel is at home in his apartment when his wife, Livia, calls on SKYPE. She tells him she’s in a military state, Shiloh, and she fears for her safety, as the state is not friendly to journalists.

Conflict: As a journalist, she is endangered by the state’s antagonism to journalism.

Subtext: She is quite fearful for her safety, as is Nigel.

Hope/fear: We hope she will be safe and fear she might not be.

Essence: The warden of the Shiloh prison, Luther Trask, reads Livia’s articles depicting the brutal conditions in Shiloh and, fearing their bad presentation of the state, orders her arrested and imprisoned.

Conflict: Her presentation of the truth she observes has drawn the ire of an important official.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll be okay but fear she won’t be in the prison of a brutal state.

Essence: At a pub with his co-workers, he tells them his wife has been incommunicado for three days, and he’s very concerned about her.

Conflict: Livia’s safety is in doubt in the prison of this state.

Subtext: She could be in great danger, particularly in a military state like Shiloh.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll be all right, but her safety is very threatened.

Essence: Nigel calls Livia’s editor and asks if they’ve heard from her. He says they haven’t.

Conflict: It appears communication is being made more difficult by the authorities.

Subtext: The state is clamping down.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll survive, but it’s looking darker for her.

Essence: At his office, he gets a SKYPE call from Livia, who tells him things have gotten worse in Shiloh. As they talk, military police break into her room and arrest her.

Conflict: She is now in the grip of the Shiloh penal system.

Subtext: Her safety is in extreme doubt.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll survive, but she’s in extreme danger.

Essence: Nigel SKYPE calls Shiloh and talks to a low-level official. When she stonewalls him, he becomes enraged and says he wants “you Nazi bastards” to release her.

Conflict: We see Shiloh is an armor of bureaucracy.

Subtext: Nigel is increasingly worried and emotionally spent.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll succeed but see how hard it will be against this well-defended military state.

Essence: Nigel talks to a British government official, who tells him Britain has no diplomatic relations with Shiloh, and so they can’t do much to free Livia.

Conflict: Nigel wants the government on his side in the fight.

Subtext: There’s nothing the government can do.

Hope/fear: We hope Livia will be freed, but we know now that it will be difficult without his government’s support.

Essence: Nigel appears on a British television show, appealing to the British to call for Livia’s release and appealing to Shiloh to release her.

Conflict: He’s trying to marshal popular support for his quest.

Subtext: We see his increasing desperation.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll succeed but fear this effort will not be successful.

Essence: The Prime Minister, in front of reporters, appeals to Shiloh for Livia’s release. He admits that there’s little Britain can do, beyond that.

Conflict: Nigel wants to get the British government behind him, but they can’t do much.

Subtext: Things are desperate for Nigel, as he’s running out of alternatives.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll succeed, but it looks increasingly unlikely.

Act 2

Essence: Nigel watches his friend, Roger Darby, play in a rugby game.

Conflict: We see Roger play powerfully against the opponent.

Subtext: We see Roger is a courageous, hardy man.

Hope/fear: We hope his team wins, fear it won’t.

Essence: At a pub after the game, Nigel tells Roger about Livia’s imprisonment and says he’s flying to Shiloh to try to get her released. Roger volunteers to go along, and Nigel accepts. Nigel recounts an incident when he was 14, and a boy punched him and he ran away.

Conflict: Roger expresses a dislike for the military and for the military state of Shiloh.

Subtext: We see Roger is naturally brave and adventurous.

Hope/fear: We hope Roger’s assistance will help Nigel be successful and fear it won’t.

Essence: On the flight to Los Angeles, located near the Shiloh capital, the pilot announces the states along the eastern coast of North America have declared their air space inviolate, so the plane will land in New York.

Conflict: We see their arrival in Los Angeles is now threatened.

Subtext: It seems that the North American states present challenges.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll make it, but the trip now looks more difficult.

Essence: Trask becomes aware, due to Shiloh’s access to media worldwide and airline passenger lists, that Nigel and Roger are coming to Shiloh. He orders an agent to plant a tracking device on Nigel in Empire, the state where New York is located.

Conflict: We see the fight between Trask and the two is joined.

Subtext: We see how seriously Trask takes Nigel’s quest.

Hope/fear: We hope Nigel will be successful but see the odds mounting against him.

Essence: Nigel and Roger board a bus to cross Empire. A crew-cut man places his suitcase in the baggage compartment next to Nigel’s then withdraws Nigel’s, explaining to the driver that he wants to keep his suitcase with him to avoid damage or theft. He gets on the bus with Nigel’s suitcase.

Conflict: We see the agent Trask has sent will try something with his suitcase.

Subtext: We see the long reach of Trask and Shiloh.

Hope/fear: We hope for Nigel’s success, but see obstacles rise before him.

Essence: On the bus ride, they meet a man who tells them of the fight between workers and capitalists in Empire. During the ride, police board and try to arrest him, but he and his bodyguards, along with Roger, fight them off. They see the tremendous pollution and poverty in Empire. The crew-cut man attaches a tracking device to Nigel’s shoe in the suitcase.

Conflict: We see this state is riven by conflict with little hope of resolution.

Subtext: We see that there are many problems with the states that replaced the United States.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll succeed, but the odds are getting longer, as we see all the division in the different states.

Essence: At the next state, the crew-cut man gets off, places Nigel’s suitcase near others that have been taken out, sees Nigel walk away with it, and takes his own.

Conflict: We see the continuation of Trask’s plot against Nigel.

Subtext: We now know Nigel is carrying some device from Shiloh.

Hope/fear: We hope it won’t matter, but it worries us that this device has been implanted.

Essence: At the next state, Elysium, an environmentalist state, they take a water-driven taxi across the state and see its beautiful landscape.

Conflict: We see this is a peaceful state but worry about them getting to Shiloh in time.

Subtext: We see that at least one of the states is not torn by conflict.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll have swift passage across other states but fear they won’t be as easy as Elysium.

Essence: Trask interrogates Livia and tries to get her to reveal the names of people who told her Shiloh executes its political opponents. She refuses, and he threatens her life.

Conflict: We see the harsh and brutal nature of Trask and Shiloh.

Subtext: We see how dangerous Shiloh is, and thus how difficult freeing Livia will be.

Hope/fear: We hope Nigel will succeed but see how difficult and dangerous it will be.

INT. TRAIN – NIGHT

Nigel and Roger take a train across Wildlife, a state used by wealthy men from Empire for hunting and fishing. They meet three young Navajo men who are going to a meeting with hunters from Wildlife.

Essence: There is conflict between the Natives and the hunters, who’ve been trespassing on Native lands in pursuit of buffalo to hunt.

Conflict: The Natives resent the hunters for trespassing on their land.

Subtext: The situation reflects the oppression of the hunters toward the Indians, and that of white men toward Natives.

Hope/fear: We hope the situation will be resolved peacefully and fear it won’t.

EXT. TRIBAL NATIONS – DAY

Essence: The attempted settlement fails, and the Natives, joined by volunteers from Elysium, have a gun battle with the hunters. Nigel and Roger join the Natives, and Nigel is shot through the forearm.

Conflict: The fight echoes centuries of fighting between whites and Natives.

Subtext: This is the first time Nigel has participated in violence, and he is pleased to be shot and not lose his nerve.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll be okay and fear he won’t.

EXT. TRIBAL NATIONS – DAY

Essence: Nigel gets a communication from Livia, informing him she may not have many more days left to live, as Shiloh executes people more readily.

Conflict: We see that Shiloh is increasingly harsh.

Subtext: We can feel the time for Nigel to save her is shrinking.

Hope/fear: We hope Nigel will be able to save Livia but fear he won’t have time.

INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Essence: When the two go to the Tribal train station, they learn of a young woman who might fly them across the state. They meet Amelia, who agrees to do it.

Conflict: They still must travel as quickly as possible across the continent and flying saves them time.

Subtext: Their hopes of crossing the continent on time are buoyed by the swift air travel.

Hope/fear: We hope this will enable them to get to Shiloh in time and fear it won’t.

INT. AIRPLANE – DAY

Essence: The two grow friendly with Amelia on the plane, and she agrees to fly them across the next state, El Dorado.

Conflict: Their time to reach Shiloh is dwindling.

Subtext: The situation in Shiloh is growing more dire.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll make it and fear they won’t.

EXT. EL DORADO – DAY

Essence: Their plane develops mechanical trouble, and Amelia lands it in a corn field in El Dorado, where they are captured by the police force of the state.

Conflict: The man who capture them are well-armed and serious, making it seem like they won’t soon get out of the state.

Subtext: This is another delay in their rush to get to Shiloh.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll get to Shiloh in time and fear they won’t.

INT. PRISON – NIGHT

Essence: In the El Dorado prison, the tracking device is discovered on Nigel, and they learn it’s from Shiloh.

Conflict: They are put in cells, and the state is very serious about security.

Subtext: We aren’t sure if or when they’ll get out of prison.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll get out soon and fear they won’t.

INT. PRISON – DAY

Essence: When the two are being escorted to the showers the next morning, Roger punches the guard who is escorting them, and Nigel tackles him. Roger chokes the man out, and they free Amelia from her cell and escape the prison.

Conflict: They may have a way out of what seemed a difficult place to escape.

Subtext: This gives new hope of getting to Shiloh on time.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll escape and fear they won’t.

EXT. EL DORADO – DAY

Essence: They run to a yard where numerous helicopters are parked, and Amelia tries to fly one. She nearly crashes it, but figures out how to fly it, and they escape the state.

Conflict: They’ve escaped a very difficult situation.

Subtext: Being able to fly should enable them to get to Shiloh faster.

Hope/fear: We hope there’s still time to save Livia and fear there isn’t.

INT. SHILOH PRISON – DAY

Trask becomes aware the tracking device is no longer operational, and he orders increased security at the Shiloh border, to try to apprehend them if they enter.

Conflict: We see he is determined to keep Nigel from getting to Livia.

Subtext: This will make it harder for Nigel to succeed.

Hope/fear: We hope Nigel will succeed, but this makes it seem less likely.

EXT. SHILOH PRISON – DAY

Essence: Livia talks with another prisoner, Adrienne, who tells her that almost all the prisoners there will be executed. She tells her that a woman guard, June, had seemed somewhat friendly in the past.

Conflict: We see the deadly aspect of Shiloh’s prison.

Subtext: This makes Livia’s death more likely.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll survive but are less sure it can happen.

Act 3

Essence: They begin flying across the next state, Independence, but have to land to refuel the helicopter. They see, on the outskirts of Denver, that part of the city is on fire, and Amelia tells them of the poverty and violence there. When outlaws approach them, Roger and Nigel fire on them to enable themselves to escape in the helicopter.

Conflict: We see again more obstacles to their getting to Shiloh in time.

Subtext: This makes Livia’s survival seem more tenuous.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll survive but are more worried they won’t reach her in time.

Essence: Livia talks to June, the guard, who confesses she has heard about what the area was like before it became Shiloh, and says it sounds like a better life. Livia tells her about her marriage and life in England and June seems intrigued.

Conflict: We see Livia trying to wear down June’s resistance to a personal relationship.

Subtext: Livia is trying to become friendly, hoping June can help her escape.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll succeed but fear the prison will be too formidable.

Essence: Trask interrogates Livia again, promising her the chance to walk out of prison if she’ll give him the name of one Shiloh citizen who told her the state executes political prisoners. She refuses, knowing that person will be arrested and killed.

Conflict: We see Trask trying to break Livia’s resistance, but he won’t be broken.

Subtext: She shows incredible courage and principle.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll escape but fear her principles may have prevented her from freeing herself.

Essence: As they fly toward Shiloh, Nigel tells Roger that if a failure of nerve on his part causes the mission to fail, he’ll never forgive himself.

Conflict: We see Nigel knows how dangerous their effort will be, given the power of Shiloh.

Subtext: We see Nigel preparing himself to risk his life and lose it if necessary in the attempt to free Livia.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll succeed, but fear Shiloh is too strongly fortified.

Essence: June confesses to Livia that she was raped several times at the prison by older male guards when she was a young guard. Livia sympathizes and declares her desire to escape. June is sympathetic, and pledges to help her. Livia says they’ll take June along if she wants to escape.

Essence: Surmising that Nigel is drawing close, Trask orders Livia’s execution to take place in three days and does everything he can to ensure Nigel’s arrest in Shiloh, hoping to have Nigel witness Livia’s execution.

Essence: Nigel receives a communication from June, informing him Livia will be executed in three days. He answers, telling her he will be contact her when he gets to Shiloh.

Conflict: Nigel realizes there’s no time to waste in freeing Livia.

Subtext: He will be desperate from here on.

Hope/fear: We hope he’ll succeed, but little time is left.

Act 4

Essence: They fly low over Shiloh’s western border along the ocean, hoping to be low enough to be undetected by the state’s radar. They land in a field 20 miles from the capital, stop a car on the road, force the driver out, and drive the car to the capital.

Conflict: Now the final battle has begun.

Subtext: There’s no going back now.

Hope/fear: We’re encouraged that they’re inside the state, but still fearful of their capture.

Essence: They have Amelia check into a hotel for her safety and wait for word from them. Nigel and Roger, to remain undetected, sleep in a park in the capital. They wake up and see police shoot a man with guns that emit a current of electricity that goes through him, killing him instantly. They see photos of themselves broadcast on large screens on the street, alerting citizens to report them on sight.

Conflict: They’re in the capital and are now at their most vulnerable.

Subtext: The killing of the man and the screens with their photos show the deadliness of the authorities in Shiloh.

Hope/fear: We hope they’ll succeed but can easily imagine them being killed before they get to Livia.

Essence: Nigel communicates with June, telling her he hopes to be in the Shiloh prison soon, and asking her to have a maintenance man’s uniform ready for him. Nigel decides the best way to confront Trask is to be arrested. He stands outside the prison and begins loudly criticizing the state of Shiloh. He’s quickly arrested. Realizing who he is, the police take him to the prison and place him in a cell.

Conflict: Nigel is in their grasp now.

Subtext: He’s closer to Livia than ever but may never see her.

Hope/fear: We hope he can rescue her, but there’s little chance of it while he’s in custody.

Essence: Roger receives a communication from June, telling him Livia told her of a resistance group she learned of when interviewing Shiloh citizens, and of a man who flies people out of the state when they’re hunted by the state to be executed. He finds Amelia, and the two of them drive to the man’s house and talk to him. They tell him Livia will write about the state’s oppressive government if she can be brought home to England. He agrees to help and arranges the meeting place where his plane will be.

Conflict: We see Nigel has an ally, who might help him overcome Shiloh if he can free Livia.

Subtext: There are others opposed to the oppression of Shiloh.

Hope/fear: This is a real possibility of hope, though escaping will still be difficult.

Essence: Nigel is brought to Trask’s’ office. He sees a walkway between two buildings through a window. He asks where prisoners are executed, and Trask tells him it’s in the adjoining building. Nigel asks to see the place, and Trask walks with him toward it. When they’re on the walkway, Nigel goads Trask into a fight. After several seconds of struggle, Trask punches Nigel in the face, reawakening the memory of the time he was punched at 14. He grows enraged and punches Trask in the pit of the stomach. Trask is bent over against the walkway, and Nigel lifts him up over the walkway and he falls to his death.

Conflict: It is the final, ultimate battle between Nigel and Livia’s oppressor.

Subtext: We see that punch in the face reawakened the old memory in Nigel, and we see that his rage and desperation give him greater strength than he’d ever had before, resulting in him being able to life Trask over the railing.

Hope/fear: We see there’s a chance, though it still seems precarious.

Essence: Nigel contacts June, who’d given him her contact information in the earlier communication. June gives him the maintenance man’s uniform he requested, and together they free Livia. She takes Livia outside in handcuffs, and Nigel, dressed in the uniform, leaves the prison shortly after.

Conflict: We see them overcoming the prison.

Subtext: We see the ingenious way they’ve planned the escape.

Hope/fear: We have true hope they can get away, though fear remains.

Essence: Roger stops a cab and bribes the driver to let him have the cab for two hours. He drives it to pick up Amelia from the hotel and drives to the appointed meeting place. June arrives with Livia, and then Nigel arrives. Roger drives them to the meeting place with the pilot, a large athletic field. The pilot if there with the plane, and he flies it out over the Pacific Ocean, completing their escape.

Conflict: We see they’ve outsmarted the Shiloh system.

Subtext: We see how difficult it is to defeat such a tightly controlled state.

Hope/fear: We are overjoyed by their escape.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  David Holloway.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  David Holloway.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON NINE

FRAN’S SCENE REQUIREMENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: There’s a lot to think about here. But this is not set in stone. Some stuff written here, I don’t know if it will remain. But I do know that in time with more work it will get better.

MY VISION: MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

COLD OPENING:

INT. NOVELTY SHOPPE, MOSCOW – DAY

ARC Meredith and Jerome Kearns, a married couple, also in a working partnership, are on a break from filming, shopping for their daughter, Alexandria’s birthday/Christmas gift. The gift is purchased, but it isn’t a mutual decision. We see Meredith is compliant with her husband’s wishes in all aspects, but one. She makes a purchase of her own, which he tells her she cannot do. Compliant to covertly defiant.

ESSENCE We learn the couple is having marital problems. It isn’t working for Meredith, either relationship.

SUBTEXT Besides the marital problems we are given a hint of Jerome’s financial problems, an affair is going on and he is having a midlife crisis.

CONFLICT: The conflict arises over a book Meredith wants to purchase. Jerome tells her no, it’s too much money to spend on such a frivolous item. She “complies” until the end. She purchases it on the QT despite her husband’s wishes.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith has fear of her husband and his overbearing wishes. Hope that her new purchase will set her foot on a new path.

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT. ON SET, FILM STUDIO – DAY

ARC The young beautiful star of Jerome and Meredith’s film is having trouble with the scene. She’s far from happy with it. She argues there needs to be improvements made to suit her wishes. Meredith says she can do some rewriting, but she won’t compromise the historical facts of the scene for the starlet. Jerome says she will fix it to his and the starlet’s liking. From writer of the script to compliant yes woman.

ESSENCE We see snippets of why the marriage is failing, the partnership is failing. Meredith is not being treated as an equal in the partnership.

SUBTEXT The disagreement in the film logistics is a metaphor for the trouble that is in their partnership and their marriage.

CONFLICT: Disagreements over a scene rewrite, but it is more than just a rewrite, it’s a disagreement over Jerome’s star’s demands to rewrite the scene the way she wants it done. Meredith does not want to compromise the historical integrity of the scene. And she suspects Jerome is favoring her for another reason: they are having an affair.

HOPE/FEAR Fear Meredith is losing her job, her husband. The hope her agent will help her find a new job, a new partner to work with, new strength in her writing.

BY PAGE 10

INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

Meredith has had just about enough when she begins reading her book. She suspects Jerome is having an affair with the star of their film. She calls her agent to ask her to help her find new work. From a lousy, un satisfying job, working relationship with her husband to the prospect of a new job, a new partnership.

ARC Meredith goes from a compliant, partner in a failing business to a productive, valued partner in a promising new project and partnership .

ESSENCE Meredith makes a decision to change her life and her circumstances for the better with help from her agent. She makes the decision to strike out on her own, away from Jerome’s bullying and putdowns.

SUBTEXT We learn more about the affair and the other things that drive Jerome: his financial problems and his midlife crisis

CONFLICT The conflict continues. Meredith reads her book, decides she wants to turn it into a screenplay in preparation for the day Jerome might fire her from the set. Jerome lies about his leaving the apartment for work. He’s heading to his starlet’s apartment for a night rendezvous.

HOPE/FEAR starting a new script, starting a new partnership, and the hope she will succeed this time. The story she discovered is worth the effort.

TURNING POINT ONE

INT. ON SET, FILM STUDIO – DAY

Meredith is freed from her partnership with Jerome, fired from her job. She is eager to start her new partnership with a man who loves her idea for a screenplay. An old flame from her past, and Jerome’s nemesis from his film school days.

ARC Meredith loses her job and her life with Jerome at this point. But she gains a new perspective on her new script idea and a budding working relationship—with an old flame from her past.

ESSENCE Meredith is apprehensive about the change that’s taking place in her life, but she is willing to do it for a new, better life. A new career, a hope that a new script will revitalize her career going solo.

SUBTEXT Somehow she knows the starlet was the instigator.

CONFLICT The old job vs. the new job. Jerome now can’t let her go, now that he knows she’s already got a new job, and starting a new script for someone else.

HOPE/FEAR Fear of the unknown in a new working relationship, fear she’s not up to the task. Hope Things will be getting better in time for her. Her daughter’s support also gives her hope.

MIDPOINT

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

Meredith meets her new partner. The old flame is happy to be working with Meredith and she with him. Jerome also learns who her new partner is. He vows to break it up immediately, sabotage the new partnership—to get even.

ARC Meredith steps into her new role with her old flame. Jerome plots to bring the partnership to an end as quickly as possible.

ESSENCE Meredith is apprehensive of the work ahead, but she is convinced by her old flame she can do it. They can do it together. Without Jerome telling her what to do ever again. Or treating her a less than an equal.

SUBTEXT Jerome’s jealousy is flared up by Meredith’s joy.

CONFLICT The divorce begins. It’s a messy one.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith hopes the divorce will be a swift and amicable one. Her fear is it will not be.

TURNING POINT TWO

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

Jerome tries to win Meredith back.

ARC Meredith falters in the beginning because of her divorce and the battles it brings with Jerome, but in the end her struggles are paying off and she is conquering her fears of finishing the screenplay. Jerome tries to stop Meredith from succeeding with her new partner.

ESSENCE What women usually have to go through to break away from dominating men in their lives who try to ruin their ascension into something bigger, better for them and their lives. Success.

SUBTEXT Jerome plays the reformed, contrite husband. Meredith isn’t buying it.

CONFLICT Jerome plays the reformed, contrite husband. Meredith knows exactly what he’s trying to do now. Manipulate her like he’s always done in the past.

HOPE/FEAR Fear that Jerome will wear her down and she will fall for his BS. The Hope is that her renewed strength will carry on, and she will cross the finishline. And also make Jerome accept their divorce and their severed partnership—that it’s over.

CRISIS Litigation reaches a boiling point.

ARC From a married woman to a divorced one. Will Meredith finally be freed from her abusive relationship with Jerome. Will he stop controlling her?

ESSENCE This all is making Meredith doubt herself, it’s weighing on her work. But she goes on with the courage and support from her agent, her daughter and her new partner.

SUBTEXT Meredith is losing the belief in herself because of Jerome’s continued efforts to woo her back. We get the memo. Jerome’s work is failing and he’s trying to win Meredith back only because he needs her back on the film to make it a success.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith still hopes the divorce with be an amicable one. She fears it will not and Jerome will wear her down.

CLIMAX

INT. NEW FILM STUDIO – DAY

Jerome is finally gone from Meredith’s life. The divorce is finalized. Meredith is free to finish her work on the movie. And she does.

ARC From a woman who’s fighting a nasty divorce with her ex. To a successful business woman, writer who’s work is getting kudos from the industry.

ESSENCE Meredith finally gets it. She’s allowed Jerome to control her life, their business for so long, she didn’t know she could ever do it on her own. But now she knows she can.

SUBTEXT Jerome vs. the old flame. Jerome and his financial problems. Jerome and his affairs have caught up with him.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith can overcome her past fears, her past with Jerome. Her hope is that her new work will be accepted by the business and it will be a success.

RESOLUTION

Meredith’s work is a hit. She is a success. She wins kudos, business acclaims for work. An Oscar.

ARC Meredith finally breaks from Jerome’s stranglehold on her. Her work is successful. She has a new beginning for her career. A successful beginning. And she finds a possible new love in the works.

ESSENCE Meredith is now feeling good about herself, like she can take on the world with her newfound success in the business.

SUBTEXT Jerome’s work is a failure.

CONFLICT Jerome is determined to make Meredith and her new partner fail.

HOPE/FEAR Fear of the unknown. Will her work be liked, accepted? The hope is that it will and she will be recognized as a great screenwriter.

OLGA’S STORY

COLD OPENING:

EXT. ROYAL FAMILY YACHT – DAY

ARC Family outing. We learn it’s the Romanov’s. A typical day for them. Olga, the oldest daughter is in love with one of her father’s officers. But her love can never be.

ESSENCE Olga is a strong willed young woman, who was born at the wrong time, the wrong place. And she falls in love too easily and with the wrong men.

SUBTEXT Olga is a quiet young woman who keep to herself mostly, she does have some anger issues that pop up from time to time. But it’s the times she lives in, her station in life, her being a woman.

CONFLICT She has conflicts with her mother, her station, the norms of society. She learns the man she loves marries another, in the royal court—a lady in waiting.

HOPE/FEAR The hope that she can love who she wishes, become the ruler of Russia if her brother dies. The fear that her station will not give her the life and the love she wishes, she craves.

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT. GRAND BALL ROOM – NIGHT

ARC Olga learns she can never be czar. Women by law in Russia cannot rule. She wants to stay in Russia. She falls in love again. This time with her distant cousin Dmitri.

ESSENCE Olga cannot be the woman, and the ruler she would hope to be. Her newest love is doomed from the beginning.

SUBTEXT Olga’s sadness stems from her inability to be free to choose and free and others appear to be in her society.

CONFLICT Olga has conflicts with her mother over her station, Rasputin, not wanting to leave Russian, oer her love for Dmitri.

HOPE/FEAR fear she can never be what she wants, do what she wants, hope that the world will change for her. The world and her world are doomed. World War I is around the corner. The Russia Revoution is around the corner.

BY PAGE 10

INT. ROMANOV PALACE — DAY

ARC We know Olga’s life has a sadness to it and an even sadder ending. She will never be who she wants to be, be what she wants to be, love who she wants to love.

ESSENCE A young princess’s life is not so glamorous as the fairy tales have always made it out to be. At least, not for Olga.

SUBTEXT She fights for freedoms, rights, to be what she would like to be.

CONFLICT Dmitri the first one she falls in love with finds himself caught up in a palace intrigue to murder Rasputin. This will cause a great conflict with her mother.

HOPE/FEAR She can change the world to be a freer place for her to live in, to be able to love who she wants to love.

TURNING POINT ONE

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Dmitri is caught with his conspirators. He is banished from the kingdom, from ever seeing Olga again. Olga doesn’t forgive her mother.

ARC Olga goes from a young woman in love to a woman who loses her love, and a young woman alone again. A royal princess who falls in love with men she can never hope to have or marry.

ESSENCE Olga is a strong willed young woman and she carries a broken heart with her.

SUBTEXT Olga and her sister Tatiana share secrets.

CONFLICT Olga has conflicts with her mother. She has an inner conflict with the world, her station in life. She can never hope to be the person she would like to be, the czar of Russia if her brother does not live.

HOPE/FEAR She hopes the world will change for her, her future will be brighter, her fear is that it will remain. She hopes to remain in Russia. She fears she will have to leave Russia as required by princesses of the realm.

MIDPOINT

INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

The familyis taken hostage by the Bolsheviks as World War I begins and the Russian Revolution. They work at a military hospital caring for the wounded. Olga is not great as a nurse though she tries. She is befriended by another young woman, a nurse who helps her cope with her situation.

ARC Olga goes from a young princess free as she can to live her life in a gilded cage, to a young prisoner of war who takes care of the wounded soldiers. A life she is not altogether happy to lead at the moment.

ESSENCE Olga’s sadness is felt by everyone. Her inability to cope well as a nurse is felt by everyone.

SUBTEXT She pines away for Dmitri.

CONFLICT She still has conflicts with her mother. She has conflicts with the hospital personnel. She doesn’t want to be there. She has conflicts with the me who hold her hostage.

HOPE/FEAR The hope their circumstances will change. The world will change. The fear that the war will continue on. They will not be able to go home.

TURNING POINT TWO

INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

A battle has taken place. Many soldiers are wounded, brought to the hospital for care. Olga, though she hasn’t been taking care of soldiers, now finds herself assigned to a few of the wounded. There are so may. One of the soldiers, also named Dmitri, she cares for very much. She falls in love with him. He pretends to fall in love with her.

ARC Olga has been put on desk duty until the battle. And then the battle sends the hospital many war wounded. Olga is assigned to take care of some of them, there are so many. She takes care of one soldier, Dmitri, who she falls in love with and he supposedly falls in love with her.

ESSENCE Olga wears her heart on her sleeve.

SUBTEXT She’s not supposed to be falling in love with soldiers or men beneath her status, yet she does. She must keep it to herself until her friend guesses.

CONFLICT Olga still battles with her mother who also works there. There is war and the women of the hospital weary of it. Olga wants the old life, the way it used to be before the war.

HOPE/FEAR She fears the war will never end. She will never have a peaceful life again. Her hope is that the wars will change things. She will be able to love who she wishes, and for now it is her new love, Dmitri, a common soldier.

INT. SOLDIERS’ TAVERN – NIGHT

CRISIS Olga’s love letters to Dmitri have been shared by Dmitri’s friends, drunk and making fun of her. Olga is humiliated.

ARC Olga is in love. She has found another she hopes to marry. Her hopes are dashed when Dmitri betrays her in the worst way possible.

ESSENCE Olga’s strength and determination and her betrayal show how adult and brave Olga trulyis against the travesties of her life and her country’s life.

SUBTEXT Olga grins and bears it, yet it is breaking her heart to the point of wanting it to all end.

CONFLICT War and the conflict of her love having been betrayed. She sends Dmitri away.

HOPE/FEAR She fears the worst is yet to come. But she hopes the war will end soon.

INT. HOSTAGE HOLDONG CELL – DAY

CLIMAX The Romanovs are spirited away by the Bolsheviks to a place no one will know.

ARC From a broken heart to a broken life..

ESSENCE Strength and courage for the whole family. Olga faces her fate bravely.

SUBTEXT She wants to live, but in this time period she knows she is going to die.

CONFLICT The Romanovs versus the Bolsheviks who are about to kill them.

HOPE/FEAR They all fear they are going to die, but they hope they will be spared.

INT. THE HOLDING CELL – DAY

EXT. THE RUSSIAN BATTLEFIEDS – DAY

RESOLUTION

The Romanovs are murdered, the war goes on, the revolution goes on.

[Marcus Wolf]

Marcus’ Scene Requirements

My vision: I get a script made into a movie.

This lesson teaches the value of studying each scene in the outline ensure it is not wasted time onscreen that will bore an audience. With this method, I found some scenes that needed to be punched up to make them interesting and I knew how to approach the problem.

ACT 1:

INT. JAKE BARNET’S HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Barnet wakes up in the morning with CHARLOTTE and they speak like a married couple. She announces she has to go to work. She collects money from Barnet, revealing she’s a prostitute.

Scene Arc: Barnet and Charlotte, a happy married couple become a customer and prostitute.

Essence: Establish Barnet as someone fooling himself.

Conflict: Barnet thinks he’s in love but Charlotte doesn’t take him seriously.

Subtext: Barnet sets an unrealistic goal that will ultimately fail and deep down he knows it.

Hope/fear: We hope that poor Barnet will find love. His hopes are dashed.

INT. SALOON – DAY

Barnet approaches ALF, the proprietor and pimp, and asks to buy out his interest in Charlotte. When Barnet gets too insistent, Alf pulls a shotgun on him. Barnet backs down.

Scene Arc: Barnet goes to plan B concerning Charlotte.

Essence: Still fooling himself, he thinks getting Charlotte out from Alf’s control will make her his.

Conflict: Barnet and Alf butt heads over Charlotte.

Subtext: Barnet can’t really take responsibility for his feelings toward Charlotte.

Hope/fear: We hope that Barnet will come to his senses.

INT. HOTEL RESAURANT – DAY

Near evening. Jake meets with prospective CLIENTS for his building business. They finish dinner which Barnet magnanimously pays for. They won’t consider his proposal until they see what he’s done. They set out for the construction site.

Scene Arc: Works with the next scene.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Near evening. ISAAC Castle’s carpenters are not very good and he tries to instruct them. He tells the men to knock off a little early and to practice with their guns while there’s still light. Complains that some of his lumber has been stolen and takes the youngster BILLY with him to find Sheriff Edmund. Barnet’s prospective clients are unimpressed.

Scene Arc: The men are poor carpenters. Isaac wants them to be good gunmen.

Essence: Establish that Isaac hired unqualified carpenters but good gunmen.

Conflict: Barnet wants his foreman and his men to make a good impression. They don’t.

Subtext: Barnet does not have control of his business. He’s more hung up on getting paid than doing a good job and the goings on at his construction site confirm it.

Hope/fear: We hope Barnet can get business.

EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE/JAIL – DAY

Isaac and Billy reach the sheriff’s office having seen the thoroughfare pasted with copies of wanted posters for Lucien RICKEY and Holland Whitaker. Sheriff EDMUND and a DEPUTY stand outside handing out posters to numerous young men crowding around. Isaac argues that hanging so many posters is stupid. The poster of Lucien Rickey especially infuriates him. Edmund ignores him. Isaac makes a speech to the young men about the dangers of hunting this outlaw. Isaac sees a rival builder in the crowd, accuses him of stealing lumber and attacks him. Edmund throws Isaac in jail. Billy runs to find Barnet.

Scene Arc: Isaac goes to complain about theft and ends up in jail himself.

Essence: Isaac gets himself thrown in jail.

Conflict: Isaac and Edmund disagree on the posters. Isaac loses his temper and attacks someone.

Subtext: Isaac wants to be thrown in jail. And he wants Rickey for himself.

Hope/fear:

EXT. DESOLATE AREA WITH ROAD – DAY

Lucien RICKEY instructs his gang on how they are going to approach and take the stage scheduled to pass through, shortly. Lucien’s plan works perfectly. One of the stage DRIVERs survives and begs for his life. Adelaide and his men ague to leave him alone. Lucien murders him on his knees for working for the railroad, anyway. This greatly troubles all Rickey’s men and Adelaide in particular.

Scene Arc: Robbery turns to cold-blooded murder.

Essence: Lucien is a skilled leader, but is a fanatic.

Conflict: Adelaide and the men don’t want him to murder Driver.

Subtext: Lucien is not the man he used to be.

Hope/fear: Will Lucien make this robbery into something evil?

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

Jake’s lumber is on fire and the blaze builds.

Scene Arc: this scene works with the next two scenes.

INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Billy, having located Barnet, brings him to get Isaac out of jail. Edmund lets Isaac out of jail when alarm bells ring. Everyone is needed to help with a fire.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

Barnet, Isaac, Billy and the Sheriff run to the construction site and help to put out the blaze. It is quite destructive. Barnet’s lumber is ruined. His customer is angry. His men, having no work and hence, no pay, walk off the job. Isaac accuses the other builder, but Edmund won’t act on it because there is no evidence, and the other builder and his men help put out the blaze.

Scene Arc: A mysterious fire basically destroys Barnet’s business.

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Will they put the fire out in time? What will happen to Barnet’s business?

INT. JAKE BARNET’S HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Barnet, having decided to take a powder, hurriedly packs his bags. Isaac comes in and tries to convince Barnet to stay. Isaac tries to convince Barnet to pay the men for just a few more days – he knows of a source of lumber: an abandoned town. Barnet, short on money, is reluctant to sink his last few dollars into a failed business. Isaac tells him he used to live in the town and is aware of some hidden money there that he has wanted to retrieve. But the trail there is unsafe and he has feared to traverse it alone. He’ll split the money with Barnet and it will save the business.

Scene Arc: Barnet bailing out of his problem to Barnet willing to participate in a potential solution to it.

Essence:

Conflict: Can Isaac convince Barnet not to give up so easily?

Subtext: Isaac is somehow more deeply invested in Barnet’s business than he ought to be.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet Listen to Isaac, who seems to have a great idea?

EXT./INT. RAILYARD OFFICE – NIGHT

Rickey and Adelaide break into a railroad office to steal a payment schedule. Adelaide wants to discuss why he murdered the driver. Rickey explains his plans to revive the town with her. She thinks he’s dreaming – the town will never come back without a water supply beyond a few muddy wells. (The river providing the town’s water had been diverted.) Rickey sees that Adelaide is right about the water diversion, but justifies his murdering the driver.

Scene Arc: Rickey setting up more robberies of the railroad, to changing his plan.

Essence: Rickey is doing his robberies for a higher purpose than just stealing money.

Conflict: Adelaide and Rickey disagree on the murder of the driver.

Subtext: Adelaide, still troubled by Rickey’s murder hopes to get him back on track with reviving the town.

ACT 2:

EXT. ON THE TRAIL – DAY

Early Evening. Barnet’s men get drunk and start shooting at bottles. The intellectual Castle is reluctant to engage in this but is cajoled by the men. He can’t hit a single target. Barnet is bothered by the gunfire and asks them to stop. They tease him. They think he’s probably an even worse shot than Castle. Finally, Barnet leaps onto his horse, does riding tricks, and as he passes by the bottles, shoots his pistol and hits all of them. He jumps off his horse onto the main guy making fun of him, tackles the guy, and holds a knife to his throat. Barnet thus gains the respect (and fear) of his men by showing his hidden skills – and temper. Isaac has to pull him off. Barnet reveals his fear of combat left over from the war, where he was a cavalry officer.

Scene Arc: Barnet developing a relationship with his workers, who he had previously neglected.

Essence: Barnet earns the men’s respect and shows leadership, but also certain weakness.

Conflict: Will Barnet earn respect?

Subtext: Barnet has some deep-seated problems buried in his mind that affect his actions.

Hope/fear: We hope Barnet will know something that will impress his men. We fear that he might go too far and kill somebody over losing his temper.

EXT. THE WEIR – DAY

Evening. Rickey brings his gang to the weir that diverted water away from his town, intending to blow it up and correct the direction of water flow. His gang is unhappy that there’s no money in this. He pulls his gun on them and threatens. None of them is any good with explosives, nor do they really understand the weir’s construction and purpose. They fail to destroy the weir. Rickey vows to try again, but his men are unhappy about it. They ride for “town”.

Scene Arc: Rickey insists on destroying the weir. The attempt fails.

Essence: It is clear that Rickey and his men have different ideas about the goals of the gang.

Conflict: Reviving the town Rickey’s excuse for crime. His men disagree. They are in it for the money. Adelaide struggles with her feelings for Rickey – she wants to support his purpose, but sees that now it has become an excuse.

Subtext: Blowing the up the weir is Rickey’s last hope of reviving the town. When that fails, he becomes an ordinary hardened criminal.

Hope/fear:

EXT/INT. ABANDONED TOWN SALOON – DAY

Near sunset. Barnet and his men arrive in town to find a fully stocked saloon. This raises Barnet’s suspicions. The men start drinking. Isaac has disappeared. Barnet thinks Isaac is going to grab the hidden money and run. Barnet goes in search of Isaac.

Scene Arc: Arrive in an abandoned town to find evidence of habitation. Barnet realizing that Isaac knows more than he told Barnet and suspects Isaac of cheating him.

Essence: Mystery of this town is introduced.

Conflict: Barnet believes Isaac will cheat him.

Subtext: More is going on in this town than previously suspected.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet find Isaac?

EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – NIGHT

Nightfall. Barnet roams through town looking for Isaac. Talks to himself. Puts together that it might have been Isaac who burned the lumber, despite being in jail during the fire. Finds Isaac in the church.

Scene Arc: this scene works with the next scene.

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Jake, seeing a light, climbs up the steeple where he finds Isaac. Isaac has a bottle and is drinking. Barnet is angry but avoids direct confrontation with Isaac about the fire. Isaac reveals that he was once mayor of this town. They talk about why Isaac didn’t run for mayor of their town. He shows Barnet the bulk of the gang’s loot, hidden in the steeple under tarps. Only Isaac and Rickey know this location, not even Rickey’s men. This amount of money is life changing, but Isaac clearly isn’t interested in taking it. Barnet is puzzled as to how Castle would know where this stash is and can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to steal it. He becomes suspicious.

Scene Arc: Barnet finds Isaac with the treasure and gets some answers.

Essence: Isaac wants Barnet to know where the money is hidden and to understand part of why he is here.

Conflict:

Subtext: Isaac has a mysterious reason for being here.

Hope/fear:

ACT 3:

INT. CHURCH – DAY

Jake and Isaac, having drunk too much and fallen asleep, wake up in the morning. They spot Rickey’s gang in the distance. Rickey is returning to town earlier than Isaac expected. Isaac reveals that he had once been part of Rickey’s gang, but they’d had a falling out. Jake sends Isaac to round up the men to hide in the hotel across the street from the saloon. Jake stays behind briefly. Opens one of the chests and stuffs cash into his pockets. Closes it and re-covers it with tarps.

Scene Arc: Isaac and Barnet discover the outlaws coming to town and try to warn the men. Isaac grabs a considerable sum of cash.

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Rickey and his men ride into town and dismount outside of the Saloon. Rickey tells his men that he’s going to store the loot with the rest for safe keeping. They argue that it’s time to start distributing the loot. Some of them want to go their separate ways. Rickey refuses, indicating that the money was to rehabilitate the town, not to enrich them. The men don’t see it that way and threaten to mutiny. Adelaide turns on Rickey and sides with the men. Rickey slaps her and tells her to stay out of it.

Scene Arc: Rickey and his men return to their hideout. Rickey and the men dispute over dividing the spoils.

Essence: Rickey and his men no longer agree on the purpose of the robberies.

Conflict: Rickey and the men fight over the loot and Rickey fights with Adelaide who he believes is betraying him.

Subtext: Adelaide no longer loves Rickey.

Hope/fear:

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Barnet and his men hide. He wants to stay out of trouble. His men recognize Lucien from the wanted posters and want to go after him for the reward money, as Isaac had predicted. Barnet urges patience. The men pull guns and become restless. Isaac sees Rickey smack Adelaide and becomes agitated.

Scene Arc: The men go from staying out of trouble to looking for trouble.

Essence: Isaac’s reasons for coming to town are being revealed. He has feelings for Adelaide.

Conflict: Barnet wants to stay out of trouble. The men don’t and Isaac in particular is likely to disobey Barnet.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: will they get into a fight they can’t win?

INT. SALOON – DAY

Some of Rickey’s men go into the Saloon and see the mess that Barnet’s men left. They come out to tell Rickey.

Scene Arc: This scene works with the next scene.

EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Rickey and Adelaide scream at each other. Rickey pulls a knife.

Scene Arc: An argument escalates to potential violence.

Essence: Adelaide means less to Rickey than she thought she did.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. HOTEL – DAY

No longer able to control his temper, Isaac runs out to the thoroughfare.

Scene Arc: Works with the next scene.

Conflict: Barnet wants to keep hidden and Isaac is blowing it.

EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Isaac confronts Rickey in the thoroughfare. Rickey reveals that Isaac Castle is really the outlaw Holland Whitaker. Isaac shoots at Rickey but misses and hits Adelaide, wounding her badly.

Rickey shoots Whitaker and tries to help Adelaide. But Adelaide crawls to Isaac, rejecting Rickey and seeing him as a selfish, power-hungry crook. Adelaide dies after telling Isaac she never should have left him.

Scene Arc: Isaac goes from hiding to confrontation with Rickey.

Essence: Isaac loves Adelaide and is his reason for being here.

Conflict: Isaac begins his fight with Rickey.

Subtext: Everything Isaac has done up to this point has led to this confrontation.

Hope/fear: Isaac can win back Adelaide. Will she die? Will Rickey kill him?

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Despite Barnet warning his men to stay quiet, they see Isaac get shot and start shooting Rickey’s men who, surprised, retreat into the Saloon. Barnet must decide whether to run and hide, or overcome his fear of battle and get control of his men. Their disorganization works against them. They start running out into the thoroughfare and getting killed. Barnet can’t tolerate this and finally jumps in, overcoming his trauma.

Scene Arc: Barnet the coward become Barnet the leader.

Essence: Barnet’s moment of epiphany.

Conflict: The gunfight.

Subtext: Barnet is now committed to his men and ultimately, his business.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet overcome his fear and become a hero?

ACT 4:

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Barnet quickly devises a plan and reorganizes his men.

Scene Arc: This scene works with the next.

EXT. ALLEYWAY BEHIND THE SALOON – DAY

Barnet takes two men and sneaks around the back of the saloon, flanking Rickey and his men. The rest of Barnet’s men distract Rickey’s men by shooting from the hotel. Rickey tries to rally his men, but they ignore him and run into the town thoroughfare to escape.

Scene Arc: Barnet takes charge then changes the tide of the battle.

Essence: Barnet shows his skills as a leader.

Conflict: Barnet and his men undertake a dangerous mission which could go wrong.

Subtext: Rickey has lost the confidence of his men.

Hope/fear: Can Barnet’s men defeat the outlaws.

EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Rickey’s men get mowed down by Barnet’s men from the hotel.

Scene Arc: This scene supports the next scene.

EXT. ALLEYWAY BEHIND THE SALOON – DAY

Rickey escapes into the alleyway. Barnet chases Rickey and they have a fight which Barnet barely wins, using all his skills. Barnet captures Rickey.

Scene Arc: Rickey escapes, Barnet catches him.

Essence: Climax. The ultimate showdown of the two leaders.

Conflict: Barnet versus Rickey in one-on-one fight.

Subtext: Good versus evil.

Hope/fear: It looks like Rickey has the advantage. Will he kill Barnet?

EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

What’s left of Rickey’s men have surrendered and are on their knees. When they see Rickey, they call for his death for cheating them and leading them to ruin. Barnet’s men want to split the reward and Rickey is wanted dead or alive. Despite Barnet’s arguments, the men bring Rickey to the town gallows – a permanent structure in this town, and hang him. Barnet doesn’t let them murder the men on their knees.

Barnet and his men feel like Isaac has tricked them. Barnet realizes that Isaac had been preparing them for this fight all along, even himself. The payoff for the men will be the reward money for Rickey, which Barnet will give to the men as a bonus, and the lumber for Barnet who now, more than ever, realizes that business is redemption for him. Building instead of killing.

No one knows where the treasure is and Isaac and Barnet aren’t revealing that they do. They make a deal with the men that whoever stays on as builders will come to this town to continue dismantling it. Including Rickey’s men. Someday the treasure will be uncovered and those who stay on will split it.

Scene Arc:

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Barnet and his men arrive back to the site with a massive load of new lumber. They get back to work. Barnet and Isaac take two dead bodies to the Sheriff’s office.

Scene Arc: Works with the next scene.

INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – DAY

They turn over Rickey and another man they claim is Holland Whitaker. Sheriff gives them the reward money. Barnet instructs Isaac to divvy it up among the men. Isaac yells at Edmund to take down the posters. The real Whitaker is now Isaac Castle, builder.

Scene Arc: Barnet arrives back in town with renewed purpose. He makes sure that Isaac has a second chance.

Essence: Things will work out for Barnet and his crew as well as Isaac.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – DAY

Barnet squares everything with his customer. He runs into Charlotte on the way out. Charlotte now sees him as serious. But he knows that she will never leave Alf’s employ. He realizes that what attracted him to her was her unavailability – he would never have had to take responsibility for a relationship.

Barnet meets the new school teacher, an attractive lady, who is trying to get funding for a new schoolhouse. Barnet asks her to dinner. She says yes. He hands her a wad of cash for the schoolhouse.

Scene Arc: Barnet goes from the woman who’s not right for him to the one who is.

Essence: Barnet realizes his insecurities and unrealistic expectations.

Conflict: Barnet still thinks he wants Charlotte.

Subtext: Barnet’s realistic behavior shows that he is healing.

Hope/fear: We hope that Barnet has finally found the right woman.

[Paul Dees]

Paul Dees’ Scene Requirements

My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.

What I learned from doing this assignment is how to make an initial outline of the scenes in a screenplay using the proper formatting, along with the purpose of each scene.

EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT

SPECIAL AGENT RICK O’BRIEN (40’s) and his partner SPECIAL AGENT DAVID WHITMAN (40’s) are across the street from the house. Rick talks on a mobile phone to a kidnapper who’s in the house with a hostage.

Essence: Rick tries to negotiate with the kidnapper.

Conflict: Will the kidnapper surrender?

Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of surrendering.

Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper will surrender. We’re afraid he’ll kill his hostage and escape.

INT. A HOUSE – NIGHT

The KIDNAPPER (30’s) wearing a mask, marches his HOSTAGE (30’s) toward the front door. A gun is pointed at her head.

Essence: The kidnapper wants to escape.

Conflict: The hostage wants to be set free.

Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of setting her free.

Hope/Fear: We hope the hostage will be rescued. We fear she’ll be killed.

EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT

The kidnapper and his hostage emerge from the house. He marches the hostage over to a car. He then shoots her. Rick and Agent Whitman try to apprehend the kidnapper. The kidnapper shoots Agent Whitman and races away. Agent Whitman dies in Rick’s arms.

Essence: The kidnapper escapes

Conflict: The FBI agents want to rescue to the hostage, and the kidnapper wants to kill her.

Subtext: Rick is powerless to stop the kidnapper.

Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper is captured. We fear he’ll kill the hostage and escape.

EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – SIX MONTHS LATER – DAY

A WOMAN (30’) gets out of her car. She has a blank expression and carries a handbag. She walks purposefully, swiftly and enters the building.

Essence: The woman is arriving for something important.

Conflict: She seems to be late for her engagement.

Subtext: Her blank expression indicate she’s under someone’s control.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s just late for something. We fear she’s got a darker purpose.

INT. THE BUILDING – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

The woman exits the elevator. She turns down the hall and enters a utility closet.

Essence: The woman has something to do in the utility closet.

Conflict: She is in an awful hurry to do whatever she’s trying to do.

Subtext: She seems to be in a trance, like she’s being controlled by someone.

Hope/ Fear: We hope she just forgot to do her makeup. We fear she’s up to no good.

INT. THE UTILITY CLOSET – DAY

The woman enters, takes out a bomb, and hides it behind some cleaning supplies. The bomb’s timer has five minutes remaining.

Essence: The woman is there to set off a bomb.

Conflict: There are innocent people who will be killed.

Subtext: No one knows the bomb is there.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will find the bomb in time. We fear it will go off.

EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The woman exits the building. A massive explosion rocks the building at the 25^th floor. The woman’s face shimmers. A mask falls off her face. She looks different than she did when she was wearing the mask. She looks around, bewildered. She looks up at the carnage from the explosion and runs off.

Essence: The woman bombed the building against her will.

Conflict: The bomb went off, and people died.

Subtext: Who is the person behind the bombing.

Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught quickly. We fear it will be the start of a series of bombings.

EXT. A HOUSE IN AN UPPER MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

Essence: This is showing where a character lives.

Conflict: N/A

Subtext: Who lives there?

Hope/Fear: N/A

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Rick plays his guitar, lost in thought.

Essence: This is what Rick is up to these days.

Conflict: Rick battles his inner demons.

Subtext: Rick has given up on life.

Hope/Fear: We hope he hasn’t given up on life. We fear he has.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

STEPHANIE O’BRIEN (40’s) Rick’s wife, fixes breakfast. SAMMY (pre-teen) and JENNIFER (pre-teen) their two kids, argue at the table, but she’s oblivious to it. The doorbell rings.

Essence: Stephanie goes through the motions of her morning routine.

Conflict: She’s fighting against the hurt from her husband being absent at home.

Subtext: Their marriage is on the rocks.

Hope/Fear: We hope she and Rick are just going through a phase. We fear their marriage is over.

INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY

Stephanie opens the door, and SPECIAL AGENT RYAN STEVENS (50’s) stands there. He ask if he can come in and talk to Rick.

Essence Rick’s boss want to talk to him.

Conflict: Rick likely doesn’t want to talk to him.

Subtext: It’s not a good time for Rick’s boss to be there.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s boos has a new assignment for him. We fear Rick is going to be fired.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Rick’s boss says he wants him to check out a crime scene, as he’s the resident expert on bombings. Rick reluctantly agrees.

Essence: Rick’s expertise is needed.

Conflict: He doesn’t feel like doing anything.

Subtext: Rick is finished with being an FBI agent.

Hope/Fear: We hope this will help Rick snap out of it. We fear it will only add to his depression.

EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Rick arrives at the scene of the bombing. He’s introduced to his new partner, Sean Gray.

INT. A SKYSCRAPER – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

Rick and Sean investigate the blast site. Three quarters of the floor is gone, replaced with a gaping chasm with the view of the city below. Rick struggles with being up there, as he hates heights.

Essence: Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the bombing.

Conflict: Rick hates heights, but he has to do his job.

Subtext: This is the work of a criminal mastermind.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will find clues to help them catch the bomber. We fear it won’t help them at all.

EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

As Rick and Sean wrap things up, Sean notices a mask lying on the ground and takes it with him.

Essence: Rick and Sean complete their investigation.

Conflict: There’s a mask in the parking lot.

Subtext: Who designed the mask, and what’s his end game?

Hope/Fear: We hope the mask will be another cluse to help find the bomber. We fear it’ll be no help at all.

EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

A MAN (60’s) walks swiftly toward the entrance of the building. He has a blank look on his face and carries a briefcase.

Essence: A man is on his way to the building.

Conflict: He’s late for something.

Subtext: It looks like he’s being controlled by someone.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will be wise to him and ask what he’s doing. We fear he’s going to set off another bomb.

INT. A BATHROOM – DAY

The man sets the briefcase on the counter and walks out.

Essence: The man plants the bomb.

Conflict: People are going to die.

Subtext: No one knows that the briefcase has a bomb in it.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.

EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The man exits the building.

Essence: The man has successfully planted the bomb.

Conflict: People are in mortal danger.

Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.

INT. A BATHROOM – DAY

Men wash their hands at the sink. The unattended briefcase sits there at the counter. The bomb explodes.

Essence: The bomb is sitting there, waiting to go off.

Conflict: People are in mortal danger.

Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.

EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The man’s face shimmers, and a mask falls off his face, revealing a different looking person. The man looks up at the devastation above and runs off.

Essence: The man was being controlled by someone else.

Conflict: Innocent people have been killed.

Subtext: Who’s behind all this?

Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught. We fear there will be more attacks.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Rick enters, She and Rick argue about when he’s going to join the family again and stop distancing himself from them. The doorbell rings.

Essence: Rick and Stephanie argue about how he’s handling his depression.

Conflict: Stephanie wants Rick to be more involved in their family’s lives, Rick wants to keep them at arm’s length.

Subtext: Rick’s demons continue to haunt him.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Stephanie’s family stays intact. We fear they won’t.

INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY

Stephanie answers the door. It’s Special Agent Stevens again. He tells Rick he’s been reactivated as now they’re dealing with a serial bomber.

Essence: Rick is dragged back into service.

Conflict: It’s the last thing he wants to do.

Subtext: Rick doesn’t want to fail again.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch the bomber. We fear he won’t.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick arrives at the office and catches up on the details of the case. Special Agent Sean Gray shows Rick how the mask they found at the scene of the bombing is designed to control the mind of the person who wears it. He puts it on to demonstrate. His face changes and he starts walking out of the room. It takes Rick and two additional agents to remove it.

Essence: The bomber is using masks to control innocent people in order to plant the bombs.

Conflict: How to tell who’s wearing a mask and who isn’t?

Subtext: A whole city is walking around not knowing that any one of them could be an unwilling accomplice for the bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught sooner than later. We fear it will be near impossible to find him.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick looks through the FBI database and finds a recently paroled convict named Jonathan Rogers that has the skill set needed to pull off the bombings, as well as a past record of bombing buildings for insurance fraud.

Essence: Rick and Sean have a possible suspect.

Conflict: Their suspect isn’t going to appreciate being visited by the FBI.

Subtext: Jonathan could be the bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan turns out to be the bomber. We fear he won’t be.

EXT. JONATHAN ROGERS’ APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean knock on Jonthan’s door. He reluctantly lets them in.

Essence: Rick and Sean are there to question a suspect.

Conflict: Jonathan isn’t real keen to talk to them.

Subtext: What is Jonathan hiding?

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.

INT. JONATHAN ROGER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean question Jonathan on his whereabouts on the days of the bombings. He says he wasn’t anywhere near either site on the days in question.

Essence: Rick and Sean are trying to get to the bottom of the case.

Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t seem to be their man.

Subtext: Jonathan could still be the bomber, and Rick and Sean just haven’t proved it yet.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear that Rick and Sean won’t be able to prove it.

INT. A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the second bombing. They find the same residue they found at the first site, and another mask in the parking lot of the building. Rick remembers that Jonathan used the same materials for his bombs.

Essence: Rick and Jonathan gather more evidence.

Conflict: The evidence points to Jonathan even though he maintains his innocence.

Subtext: Is Jonathan really the bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope this new evidence will give Rick and Sean what they need to prove Jonathan is the bomber, We fear they’re going after the wrong guy.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick and Sean access the Post Office records and find that Jonathan sent two packages to two different people on the very days the bombings occurred.

Essence: Rick and Jonathan continue to build their case against Jonathan.

Conflict: N/A

Subtext: The bomber might not be Jonathan.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean are getting closer to apprehending Jonathan. We fear Jonathan could be the wrong guy.

EXT. TWO DIFFERENT HOUSES – DAY

Rick and Sean visit with both of the recipients on Jonathan’s packages, and they are in fact the same two people that unwittingly planted the bombs in the building that were attacked.

Essence: Rick and Sean are connecting the dots in order apprehend Jonathan for the bombings.

Conflict: Two innocent people were forced to carry out an atrocious crime against their will.

Subtext: Who really is the bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope that Rick and Sean have all the ducks in a row so they can bring Jonathan to justice. We fear they’re after the wrong guy.

EXT. JONTHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean knock on Jonathan’s door and show him their search warrant. Jonathan lets them in.

Essence: Rick and Sean are ready to apprehend Jonathan.

Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want them to come in.

Subtext: There’s a very good chance that Jonathan is the bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.

INT. JONATHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean return to Jonathan’s apartment with a warrant. They find explosive materials and electronics. Jonathan runs out the back door.

Essence: Rick and Sean have found their man.

Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want to get caught and runs.

Subtext: There’s a moment when we’re not sure if Jonathan is the bomber or not.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will catch Jonathan. We fear he’ll get away.

EXT. THE ALLEY BEHIND JONATHAN’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean give chase. At a certain point, Jonathan comes out from around a corner and aims a gun at Sean. Rick draws his pistol and shoots Jonathan just in time, saving Sean’s life.

Essence: Jonathan is the bomber.

Conflict: Rick and Sean want to arrest Jonathan, and he doesn’t want to go to jail.

Subtext: What if they’re going after the wrong guy?

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean finally caught the bomber. We fear he’s still on the loose.

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – DAY

Rick comes home and opens up to Stephanie for the first time in a long while. He tells her he wants things to be different between them and with the kids. She accepts his offer gratefully. He then asks if they can have Sean over for dinner, as he’s single and usually eats frozen dinners. She agrees to have him over.

Essence: Rick is trying to make amends to his wife and their kids.

Conflict: Stephanie is a bit guarded when Rick first talks to her.

Subtext: Will Rick keep up his newly determined devotion to his family?

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick is a changed man. We fear it won’t last.

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM NIGHT

Sean arrives for dinner with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in tow.

Essence: Rick and Sean are getting to be good friends as well as being partners.

Conflict: N/A

Subtext: We had no idea Sean could make cookies. What else don’t we know about him?

Hope/Fear: We hope that reaching out to Sean will help Rick and Stephanie’s marriage and his relationship with his kids. We fear that it’ll make things more stressful for them.

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT

During dinner, Sean reveals his parents were killed in 9/11, which is why he became an FBI agent.

Essence: Sean is bonding with Rick and his family.

Conflict: It makes dinner a slightly tense affair learning about Sean’s parents.

Subtext: What else don’t we know about Sean? Could he be dangerous?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will continue to bond with Rick and his family. We fear it may not last if Sean is hiding much darker things about himself.

EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

A GIRL (teens) rushes into the building with a handbag slung over her shoulder. There’s a blank look on her face.

Essence: A girl heads into a building.

Conflict: She’s in a hurry.

Subtext: We’ve seen this before. Did Rick and Sean catch the bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope this isn’t another bomb about to go off. We fear that’s exactly what it is.

INT. BREAK ROOM – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

The girl leaves her handbag on one of the tables and leaves. No one notices her.

Essence: The girl plants the bomb.

Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.

Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.

EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The girl exits the building.

Essence: The girl planted the bomb without it being discovered.

Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.

Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.

INT. THE HALLWAY NEAR THE BREAK ROOM – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

One second everything is business as usual. Then there’s a blinding flash, and fire engulfs the hallway.

Essence: The bomber has struck again.

Conflict: Innocent people have died.

Subtext: Who is behind this latest attack?

Hope/Fear: We hope the real bomber will be caught soon. We fear his reign of terror will continue.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick and Sean and a couple of other agents socialize. Agent Stevens, their boss, bursts into the room, and has them turn on the TV, which shows the aftermath of the latest bombing. Rick and Sean get a package addressed to them.

They find a flash drive inside, and it has a video message from the real bomber, telling them he set-up Jonathan just for fun, and that he already had five more people plant bombs just today, which will go off may minute. Rick, Sean and all of the other agents get on the phone and start alerting the heads of local law enforcement.

Essence: Rick and Sean caught the wrong man.

Conflict: The real bomber is still at large.

Subtext: Who is the real bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope law enforcement can find the bombs before they go off. We fear they won’t find them in time.

EXT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS THROUGHOUT THE CITY – DAY

Montage of five different buildings and people from all walks of life with blank looks walking out the front entrance. Suddenly all five bombs go off.

Essence: The bomber strikes with a vengeance.

Conflict: Buildings are hit all over the city, and a whole bunch of people have died.

Subtext: Who is the real bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean and the rest of the city’s law enforcement can finally catch the bomber. We fear there will be no end to the attacks.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY

Rick turns in his badge.

Essence: Rick is defeated.

Conflict: Rick wants to resign. Agent Stevens tries to get him to reconsider.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will reconsider. We fear it’s too late.

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – NIGHT

Rick shuffles in. He tells Stephanie about the latest wave of attacks, and how he resigned from the bureau. She tells him he needs to see it through and find the bomber or he’ll never be at peace.

Essence: Rick gives up.

Conflict: Rick wants to quit. His wife tells him he can’t.

Subtext: There’s a bomber still at large.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick won’t give up. We fear he already has.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY

Rick asks Agent Stevens for his badge back. Agent Stevens gives it to him and says he hadn’t even processed the paperwork. Rick tells Agent Stevens he thinks the bomber might be one of their own and wants to run background checks on everyone in the office, as well as all local law enforcement. Agent Stevens gives him the go ahead.

Essence: Rick’s back.

Conflict: Rick’s looking for the bomber in their own ranks.

Subtext: It could very be someone in law enforcement.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s right and he finds the bomber. We hope he’s wrong and that it’s not one of their agents.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick starts running background checks on all of the people working in the office, along with running their fingerprints from coffee cups, soda cans etc. He stops dead in his tracks as he look at one result in particular. He pulls Sean aside and says he needs to talk with him.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY

Rick tells Sean he ran his fingerprints, and a 56 year-old agent named Robert Davis pulled up. Sean then tells him how after his parents died, he lived with an Aunt and Uncle that didn’t have much time for him, and he wasn’t popular in school. So he spent all his time reading and discovered he had a talent for mathematics and engineering. He started developing the masks he sent to his “helpers” who planted all the bombs when he was still in high school. He wanted to leave home as soon as he graduated, so he enlisted in the military and worked in demolition. After he was discharged, Sean started hatching a plan on how to help the FBI get some real world practice with preventing terrorist attacks, since they botched 9/11 and his parents died along with so many others. So once he perfected the masks, he hacked into the FBI’s mainframe and kept checking when there was a vacancy in one of the offices. When one came up at their office, he stole Agent Davis’s identity, and transferred in. Rick asks Sean how he can live with killing so many people. Sean says it’s worth it if many more people get saved in the long run, as the FBI would eventually figure out how to stop the attacks. And he has another group of helpers ready to plant more bombs as soon as they get the go ahead. Rick tells Sean he can make it easy on himself and come quietly, or they can do it the hard way. Sean agrees to come quietly. Just as Rick goes to snap on the cuffs, Sean overpowers him and pins him to the floor. He tells Rick he won’t kill him since he saved his life, but his wife won’t be so lucky. Sean knocks Rick unconscious and leaves.

Essence: Sean is the bomber

Conflict: Rick tries arrest Sean. Sean escapes.

Subtext: When will the next wave of bombers strike?

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will come to in time and stop Sean. We fear Sean will escape and successfully carry out a whole new wave of bombings.

INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Sean enters and heads for the door. Someone asks him if he’s seen Rick and replied he hasn’t.

Essence: Sean is trying to flee.

Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

INT. FBI OFFICE – PARKING GARAGE – DAY

Sean gets in his car and makes his way to the exit.

Essence: Sean is trying to flee.

Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY

Rick comes to. He calls the security guard at the entrance to the parking lot.

Essence: Sean is trying to flee.

Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

EXT. FBI OFFICE – GUARD BOOTH – DAY

The SECURITY GUARD (20’s) picks up the phone just as Sean is exits the building.

Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.

Conflict: Rick was trying to stop him. Sean got away.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

INT/EXT. SEAN’S CAR – DAY

Sean takes out his phone and pulls up an app. His scrolls through it and pushes a number of buttons.

Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.

Conflict: Sean is about to start a whole new wave of bombings.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

INT. VARIOUS HOMES – DAY

People get into their cars carrying backpacks, handbags, etc., each of which has a bomb in to with a times counting down.

Essence: A new wave of bombings is about to start.

Conflict: Lots more people could die.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope the attacks will be stopped. We fear they won’t.

EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Sean pulls up carrying a package. He sets it down next to the front door and rings the bell. Stephanie answers, and Sean says he came by to pick up the plate he brought the cookies with the other night at dinner. Stephanie goes to get it and returns. Sean points out the “package” on the porch, and Stephanie takes it. Sean leaves.

Essence: Sean is about to make Stephanie wife one of his “helpers.”

Conflict: Stephanie’s actions are going to kill innocent people.

Subtext: Stephanie has no idea what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will get to the house in time. We fear he won’t.

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY

Stephanie opens the package and pulls out the mask. She hold it up, and suddenly a light shines in her eyes, and a voice tells her to put it on. She does, and her face changes into someone else. The voice tells her to take out the other package and open it. It’s a bomb with a timer counting down. The voice tells Stephanie to get in her car and drive downtown.

Essence: Stephanie is now one of Sean’s helpers.

Conflict: She will unknowingly kill innocent people.

Subtext: She has no idea what’s happening, as she’s being controlled against her will.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Stephanie before she plants the bomb. We fear he won’t.

INT. FBI OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY

Rick comes to and tells all of the agents that Sean is the bomber and is about to set off a whole new wave of attacks. They all head out.

Essence: Rick is going to try and rescue his wife, and the rest of the FBI are on the hunt for Sean.

Conflict: They’re trying to stop him before he kills a bunch more people.

Subtext: Sean is using people who have no idea what’s going on to carry out his plans.

Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean, and that Rick will rescue his wife in time. We fear they won’t.

EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Rick pulls up and runs to the front door.

Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife

Conflict: Stepanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.

Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.

INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Rick bursts into the house. Stephanie is nowhere to be found.

Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife

Conflict: Stepanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.

Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.

INT./EXT. VARIOUS CARS – DAY

A number of people all with blank expressions and with a bomb in tow drive to their respective destinations where they’ll plant a bomb.

Essence: Sean is employing a new group of helpers to carry out his plans.

Conflict: People will die in droves if everyone successfully plants their bombs.

Subtext: No one them realize what they’re doing.

Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will find a way to stop them all in time. We fear they won’t.

INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY

Two agents spot Sean driving past them. They call Rick and tell him they’ve found him and go to lights and sirens.

Essence: The FBI is hot on Sean’s tail.

Conflict: They’re trying to catch Sean, and he’s trying to escape.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean in time. We fear they won’t.

INT./EXT. STEPHANIE’S CAR – DAY

Stephanie drives toward downtown. She looks like someone else, as the mask has changed her appearance and her eyes are blank.

Essence: Stephanie is on her way to carry out Sean’s plans.

Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she successfully plants the bomb.

Subtext: Stephanie had no idea what’s happening.

Hope/Fear: We hope Stephanie will be stopped before it’s too late. We fear she won’t be.

INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY

The agents that spotted Sean continue to give chase, and eventually run him off the road at the entrance to a mall. Sean bursts out of his car, guns blazing. The agents return fire, but Sean shoots them both and runs into the mall. Rick pulls up shortly. The agents are wounded but they’ll survive. Rick runs into the mall.

Essence: Sean is now on foot.

Conflict: He still controls the bombs’ timers with his phone.

Subtext: A number of innocent people are about to commit an atrocious crime without evening knowing what they’re doing.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch Sean in time before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t.

EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Stephanie approaches the building and enters.

Essence: Stephanie is about to plant the her bomb.

Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she’s successful.

Subtext: She’s an innocent pawn in it all.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone can stop her in time. We fear no one will.

INT. THE MALL – DAY

Rick spies Sean and runs after him. Sean races toward the stairs and fires at Rick as he does. Shoppers duck for cover.

Essence: Rick is trying to stop Sean before the bombs go off.

Conflict: Rick wants to stop Sean, and Sean wants his plan to succeed.

INT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Stephanie gets on an elevator.

Essence: Stephanie is on her way to plant the bomb.

Conflict: People will die if she pulls it off.

Subtext: No one in the building suspects what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Stepanie will be stopped somehow. We fear she won’t be.

EXT. A MALL – THE ROOF – DAY

Sean bursts out of a door and onto the roof. He looks back and sees Rick in hot pursuit. Sean starts shooting at Rick, who finds cover and fires back.

INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY

Each person being controlled by Sean plants their bomb at the building they’ve been instructed to go to. Stephanie does as well in a supply closet. But as she goes to leave, the voice in her mask tells her to remain. She takes out her phone, and scrolls through her Facebook app. All of the others leave their respective buildings and head to the front entrance.

Essence: Sean’s plan is nearly complete.

Conflict: Many peoples’ lives are at stake.

Subtext: No one including the people that planted the bombs are aware of what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Sean before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t be able to.

EXT. A MALL – THE ROOF – DAY

Rick and Sean continue their shootout. Rick wounds Sean but he keeps firing. Rick shoots Sean a few more times and Sean falls off the building to his death.

Rick sees Sean’s phone on a walkway along the side of the building about eight feet down. He hangs down over the side and drops to the walkway.

INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY

The timer on each bomb has ten seconds.

Essence: The bombs are about to go off.

Conflict: A lot of people are about to die.

Subtext: No one suspects what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can still disarm the bombs’ timers. We fear it’s too late.

EXT. A MALL – THE WALKWAY – DAY

Rick grabs Sean’s phone and sees the app with the time ticking down. It reads three seconds. Rick pushes the stop button for each timer. It says one second.

Essence: Rick saves the day.

Conflict: Sean almost bombed a whole new bunch of buildings.

Subtext: Only Rick knows what he just prevented.

Hope/Fear: We hoped we would save the day. We have no need to fear since he did.

INT. VARIOUS BUIDLINGS – DAY
The masks on the faces of each of Sean’s helpers shimmer, revealing their true identity. They all look around like a deer in headlights, unaware of how they got there.

Essence: The nightmare is over

Conflict: Each of Sean’s helpers can’t figure out why they’re in the place they’re in.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hoped Rick would save the city. We have no need to fear now that he did.

INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick is presented with the bureau’s highest award. As everyone applauds, Agent Steves tells him he’s ready to retire and is recommending him to become the new supervising agent for their field office.

Essence: Rick saved the day and found his purpose as an agent once again.

Conflict: His inner conflict is resolved.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick would save the day. There’s no need to fear now that he did.

[George Petersen]

George Petersen SCENE REQUIREMENTS

My Vision is to direct one of my screenplays as a low-budget indie feature

What I learned from this assignment is how some scenes fall away when confronted with essence

THE SUMMER OF HAIGHT

ACT 1

INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From happy to be together to Jonathan threatening to end their friendship if Longfellow doesn’t draw up the new will

Essence: Jonathan inexplicably commands Longfellow to draw up a new will leaving all his wealth to a good-for-nothing hippie no one has ever heard of

Conflict: Longfellow, under pressure, makes a solemn promise not to investigate the hippie, Youngblood, in any way

Subtext: From Jonathan: Don’t you dare ask me about anything. From Longfellow: Not sure if I can honor an agreement that is so stupid

Hope/fear: Jonathan hopes for a new will that will secure his future / Longfellow fears the end of their friendship

EXT. HAIGHT-ASHBURY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: From Longfellow not understanding what kind of person Youngblood is to having a pretty good idea what makes him tick

Essence: Longfellow breaks his promise to Jonathan and follows Youngblood into the Haight, photographs him going wild and crazy.

Conflict: Longfellow is tormented with guilt but thrilled to find out what Youngblood is really like – a hippie who feels liberated to indulge himself in insatiable self-gratification on an insane level, without limits

Subtext: Longfellow’s hatred of Youngblood grows and grows

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for an unmasking of sorts but fears Youngblood’s nature. He also fears that he may be followed himself.

EXT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: Longfellow goes from deep concern to flat out fear about the deeper nature of Youngblood

Essence: Longfellow confronts Youngblood, threatens him with legal action if he harms Jonathan in any way

Conflict: Longfellow blocks Youngblood’s path to the cellar door. Youngblood presents his personal key to the back door of Jonathan’s mansion. He has a right to be here. Back off.

Subtext: Longfellow has no idea that Youngblood is an expression Jonathan’s dark side

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Jonathan will come to his senses when he gives his report / He fears Youngblood as a person

INT. HAIGHT-ASHBURY POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite request to why don’t you leave

Essence: The police officers put Longfellow in his place when he asks for Maggie

Conflict: Longfellow asks for Maggie and is put down by the police officers

Subtext: The police officers make no effort to hide their disdain for Longfellow, given how he treated Maggie

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to find Maggie some day / He fears being judged so harshly

INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From a polite report to raging anger

Essence: Longfellow has discovered what kind of person Youngblood really is and is excited to no end to communicate all to Jonathan

Conflict: Jonathan feels betrayed when Longfellow presents his black and white photos of Youngblood going crazy in the Haight. He rages at Longfellow, which is shocking since he has never raised his voice before. Jonathan demands that Longfellow give Youngblood the respect that he deserves. Longfellow is shaken and presents the new will for Jonathan to sign. Jonathan signs, then breaks off their friendship, just chops it off like it was nothing.

Subtext: Longfellow is taken back by Jonathan’s raging anger. Where does it come from?

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes that Jonathan will come to his senses someday / Longfellow goes into a deep depression, fearing he has lost Jonathan like he lost Maggie

INT. TOMMY’S JOYNT – DAY

Scene Arc: From a polite encounter to one of deep subtext pain

Essence: Longfellow asks Maggie, a police detective, for help with the problem of Youngblood

Conflict: Longfellow has to beg for help. Maggie is reluctant, given what happened in their breakup

Subtext: seeing Maggie again opens an old wound

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Maggie can help solve the mystery of Youngblood / He fears that he has lost her forever

EXT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From looking forward to seeing Jonathan to being distraught at the news of his disappearance

Essence: Longfellow learns that Jonathan has disappeared without a trace

Conflict: Longfellow passes by Youngblood as he leaves by the front door. Their eyes are like daggers. Why the front door? Doesn’t he always leave by the back door?

Subtext: Polite encounters mask a growing hatred for each other

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes that Jonathan will be found / He fears that Youngblood has killed him. He must have found out that he is the sole beneficiary.

ACT 2

INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From edgy polite to yelling.

Essence: Youngblood is moving in

Conflict: Youngblood shows up at the mansion with a suitcase. Starts barking orders to Alfred and the staff.

Subtext: Youngblood the hippie feels entitled to the mansion

Hope/fear: Alfred and the staff hope Youngblood will leave on his own / They fear he’s here to stay

INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From pleading to desperate

Essence: Longfellow must act, do something, anything, legal or not, to get Youngblood out of the mansion

Conflict: Alfred comes to see Longfellow, pleads for his intervention. Longfellow hesitates. He fears Youngblood, thinks he’s flat out dangerous.

Subtext: a sense of foreboding

Hope/fear: Alfred hopes Longfellow will help / He fears being in the same house as Youngblood

INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite to shoving to fighting. Maggie has to break them up.

Essence: Longfellow acts, attempts to evict Youngblood

Conflict: Longfellow shows up at the mansion with Maggie and a letter of eviction. But Youngblood gets out of it by claiming that he’s been paying rent for the last six months and he has another six months remaining on the lease. He presents the lease, signed by Jonathan.

Subtext: Don’t mess with me

Hope/fear: Youngblood reminds Longfellow of the 100 day disappearance clause in the will. He hopes Longfellow will give up the fight. / Longfellow fears Youngblood will never leave

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From calm to desperate as Longfellow realizes time is running out. There must be something we can do?

Essence: Longfellow learns that there are no leads on Jonathan’s disappearance.

Conflict: Longfellow demands that more be done to find Jonathan. Maggie insists that nothing more can be done since there are no leads.

Subtext: desperation

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Jonathan can be found / He fears Youngblood has killed him

INT. ARBITRATION ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: From hopeful to outright disaster

Essence: Longfellow disputes the will in arbitration

Conflict: Longfellow wants to cut Youngblood out of the estate. Youngblood wants to humiliate Longfellow

Subtext: hatred, vengeance

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to cut Youngblood out of the will through arbitration / He fears there is no stopping Youngblood if he loses

INT. JONATHAN’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From bad to worse

Essence: Maggie confirms no results on the investigation of Jonathan’s disappearance

Conflict: Longfellow questions Maggie’s efforts. Maggie demands that Longfellow accept reality

Subtext: anger, dismay

Hope/fear: Longfellow’s last hope is crushed / He fears there is no stopping Youngblood

EXT. HAIGHT-ASHBURY – DAY

Scene Arc: determination to helplessness

Essence: Longfellow follows Youngblood and is attacked

Conflict: Longfellow follows Youngblood, but suspects he’s being followed too. Longfellow is seriously wounded. A hippie photographer, Hubie, saves him.

Subtext: Who are you? Are you an angel?

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to get the goods on Youngblood / He fears he almost lost his life in his pursuit

INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite to edgy bitterness

Essence: Youngblood inherits Jonathan’s wealth lock, stock and barrel

Conflict: Longfellow takes the new deed and bank papers to Youngblood for his signature. Longfellow is a broken man. It strikes him as odd that Youngblood should know so many details of the will. How can that be?

Subtext: Hatred, bitterness

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for a miracle / He fears non is to come

INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: Relating the facts to despair

Essence: Alfred communicates to Longfellow the intolerable behavior of Youngblood

Conflict: Longfellow is dismayed to learn that Youngblood holds all-night wild parties with vagrant hippies in the mansion. Longfellow takes comfort in the bottle, smashes a cherished framed picture of Jonathan and himself in better times, a symbol of their unbreakable friendship. All is lost.

Subtext: seething hatred

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to solve the mystery of Youngblood / He fears that his friend is gone, that Youngblood has killed him.

ACT 3

INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From detached to hysterical

Essence: Alfred communicates to Longfellow that Youngblood is getting out of control. The staff lives in fear.

Conflict: What can we do?

Subtext: fear of what’s coming

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for a way to contain Youngblood / He fears it may be too late

INT. THE DROGSTORE – DAY

Scene Arc: From cooperative to resistant

Essence: All Cowboy knows is that “the sparkly” comes from a remote mine not too far from Virginia City, Nevada.

Conflict: Jonathan needed the sparkly for his experiments, but why would Youngblood need them too?

Subtext: suspicious

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Cowboy will explain more / He fears he may not get to the bottom of it

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From pleading to contentious

Essence: the decision that sends Longfellow to jail

Conflict: Longfellow wants Alfred released. This is all my fault anyway.

Subtext: there’s more to this story that I’m not telling you

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Alfred will be released / He fears for what’s behind the drugs

INT. JAIL CELL – DAY

Scene Arc: From on guard to cooperative

Essence: Longfellow and Hubie become a team.

Conflict: At first, Longfellow won’t share with Hubie what he knows.

Subtext: stay away from me

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes the plan will work / He fears for what happens if it fails.

INT. HUBIE’S DARK ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: From careful consideration to alarm

Essence: When Hubie shows Longfellow photos of the sparkly drugs/metamorphosis explosion, L immediately remembers seeing that trace on the dead body in the street.

Conflict: Hubie’s evidence suggests Youngblood is a serial killer

Subtext: We’re in deep here

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for a solution to the mystery / He fears he’s in over his head

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite to intense

Essence: Longfellow, Hubie and Maggie put together a plan to catch the hippie red-handed and expose him as the unknown serial killer.

Conflict: different views on how to execute the plan

Subtext: the wrong move may get us all killed

Hope/fear: The team hopes to trap Youngblood / The fear getting killed

EXT. YOUNGBLOOD’S FLOP HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: From tense waiting to confusion to death

Essence: Longfellow and Hubie’s plan fails

Conflict: Youngblood kills Hubie

Subtext: things are falling apart

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to capture Youngblood red handed / He fears there is nothing stopping Youngblood now.

INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Longfellow didn’t think he could sink lower, but here he is.

Essence: Longfellow as a defeated man

Conflict: Longfellow’s dark night of the soul – a man confused and in conflict with himself

Subtext: despair

Hope/fear: Lost hope / fear at what a victorious and vengeful Youngblood will do

ACT 4

INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From boredom to excitement

Essence: Maggie brings the last trace sample of the sparkly debris to Longfellow

Conflict: We know that Youngblood is the killer, now how do we prove it?

Subtext: anticipation

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes they are on to something / He fears that they won’t be able to prove their suspicions

INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From a careful search to a rush to finish

Essence: Maggie and Longfellow search the mansion for the sparkly debris

Conflict: To conclude the search before Youngblood returns

Subtext: we’re getting closer

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to find evidence / He fears he will not

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From resistance to everyone getting on board.

Essence: Longfellow and Maggie organize the entire police department in an undercover plan at the Be-In.

Conflict: the risk of being killed

Subtext: this better work

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes that this time the plan will work / He fears that Youngblood won’t show up at the Be-In

EXT. GOLDEN GATE PARK – DAY

Scene Arc: From methodical searching to a chase

Essence: Youngblood is caught in the act of murder

Conflict: attempted murder

Subtext: horror

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to catch Youngblood in the act / He fears he won’t find him

EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

Scene Arc: From one side of the city to the other

Essence: Longfellow pursues Youngblood across the city

Conflict: the chase

Subtext: I’m going to be so happy when you’re gone

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to entrap Youngblood / He fears he will get away

INT. CELLAR APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From an attack to quiet

Essence: Longfellow kills Youngblood/Jonathan

Conflict: a brutal attack

Subtext: how peaceful it is now that you’re gone

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to rescue Jonathan / He fears Jonathan may be dead — which he is.

[Joyce Davidson]

Joyce’s Scene Requirements.

Vision: to create memorable movie scripts actors want to perform.

WIL: I have to post what I have and not worry if it is half-baked or not.

Genre: Action / Drama CARDENIO LOST

ACT One

EXIT. INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

#1 hope

Graduate students face the last semester to earn a PHD. Essence: the class is divided in position they take about Shakespeare controversy.

Subtext embeds this division. There is also a conflict among the members of the class which causes jealousy.

In the library among the shelves several students search for books. COLIN FAIRBANKS, graduate student, reaches for a heavy volume, but before he pulls it, LAUREL GOODE, sexy classmate, yanks his shoulder to face her. Her mission is to seduce Colin and have him write her dissertation and cheat on the finals. He refuses. The big book falls and Collin moves Laurel out of the way.

#2

EXIT. / INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

Essence: The sides begin to form. Colin is most intelligent in the class, but he is a dud around women.

DELANEY another classmate, approaches the library. In the main room she sits by HUNTER, engrossed in a newspaper in the current periodicals, and she teases him. She has never seen him go to the library. He tries to wriggle his way out since computers provide enormous information and he never saw her study anything until today. Hunter follows Delaney to nonfiction.

Colin collects several volumes and hands them to Laurel. She declares he can’t resist her. She kisses him. Delaney and Hunter interrupt Laurel’s clinch, an embarrassment for Colin. Laurel accuses Hunter of dropping a book at her. He denies it and shifts accusations to Laurel because she came to study with Colin. Laurel storms off in a huff with Hunter close behind. Delaney ridicules Colin for falling for Laurel’s motives.

Subtext: What is Hunter up to? Is he merely determined to be graduated and why does he help Laurel?

Essence: Colin is uncomfortable with sexy women,

Conflict between Hunter and Colin.

He tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.

He won’t cheat for her. A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.

Hunter and Delaney interrupt as Colin fumbles with the book.

Colin blames Hunter. Backs off from a scuffle.

Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.

EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY

Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.

INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

Essence: the class professor has an interest in their standing about the controversy.

Conflict: One of them will be the professor’s assistant for the last semester.

Hope/fear: Colin is a shoe-in, but he can’t accept., even though he needs the financial help.

Scene arc: Colin corrects Hunter’s explanation.

PROFESSOR GRAYDON ALEXANDRES draws three rings on a portable chalkboard. Inside the first he writes “concept,” the second, “research,” and third, “completion.” He points the chalk at Laurel and places an X between concept and research. She pulls books out of a satchel, library books. Delaney laughs at Laurel. There was no time for her to checkout books. Laurel whines that she couldn’t find her I.D. anyway. Her thesis will be to contrast Ophelia, Kate in “Taming of the Shrew,” Desdemona, Juliet about their poor choice of lovers. Hunter offers the only comment that her dissertation will run two pages at least.

Professor asks Hunter to discuss his project. Hunter stands beside the lectern. He strokes his chin, stares at the ceiling, turns to the others and recites lines from Hamlet’s “to be or not to be:.. His thesis concerns fathers and how they drive their children. He cites the “To be or not to be” quote. Professor with raised eyebrows nods at Colin whose looks suggest he is unwilling to comment. Professor clears his throat. Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him.

After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes. Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.

Students break it up. Colin asks a series of questions. Hunter finally argues he has more than one idea and uses poor grammar, which Colin corrects. The entire class moans.

Professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications. Since Delaney is in competition with all classmates, especially with Colin, for an assistant position during their last term toward a PHD. She shoots daggers at him.

#5

INT. PROFESSORS’ OFFICE – DAY

Essence: Colin opposes professor’s ideas, but admires the man.

Conflict: Professor wonders why Colin hasn’t applied.

Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s remarks often collide with Colin’s beliefs. Colin dislikes the disputes.

Secret: Professor will not divulge how he has these pages.

Conflict: The controversy is no longer just a hot subject but dangerous. Much moneyuwill be lost.

Finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications.

#6

EXT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

Essence: Colin dodges Delaney:

Will they ever be more than classmates, at odds , too?

Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.

#7

INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Essence: The society is prepared to stop the professor at any cost.

Conflict: He has a manuscript ready to reveal new evidence.

Hope/fear: on the part of Delaney. She dislikes Colin and will do anything to keep him out of her way.

Arc: From discussions and published books to threats.

Director looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.

He welcomes an endowment from them, but he wonders why Professor Alexander has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat.

#8

INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY

Essence: The professor suffers a mysterious attack.

Hope/fear: We hope he will be able to publish his book.

Conflict: The manuscript is taken.

Subtext: Delaney doesn’t suffer from the attack although she is nearby.

Arc: Colin saves them.

Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.

Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.

Professor has no time for her.

The hissing continues.

When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Delaney startles him and he drops it, so she steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms.

Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.

#10

INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY MAIN FLOOR – DAY

Essence: Police question Colin.

HOpe: We hope he won’t be blamed.

Conflict: Delaney implicates him. They open the manuscript, filled with blank pages. Since professor can’t talk about what might be missing, Colin is set free and the case is ruled an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.

Arc: Police will watch Colin’s activities.

#11

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Essence: Professor is severely impaired after the attack.

Hope: We hope Colin can communicate with him.

Arc. Colin tries different methods to communicate with the impaired professor.

He fails again and again until professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.

Subtext: The movements seem to be a message, but what?

#12

INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

Essence: No classmates accept the police report.

Fear: The class has no professor, no chance to write dissertations. Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel passes around straws in a cup.

Arc: Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t talk to explain where it is.

Hunter protests. Over-ruled.

Colin slumps with disappointment when he pulls the shortest straw.

Laurel offers to accompany him. Now Colin really looks frantic.

Delaney steps between them. She presents a fake shortened straw to be Colin’s assistant. It causes a heated discussion. Hunter takes Delaney aside and tells her to back off, but she says she will get the manuscript first, a real sacrifice since she dislikes Colin and his beliefs

Colin refuses to go and investigate. If he quits his studies now, it is impossible for him to continue with his PHD. Let Delaney handle the trip if she wants it so much. The others lean on his loyalty to the professor. No dice.

# 13

INT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Essence: What can the university to do now the professor is hospitalized?

Subtext: The manuscript is their goal.

Fear: The opposition will take over.

Arc. The opposition doesn’t have the manuscript.

President of Graduate Studies at his desk with several visitors who expect the professor will be let go now that he is unable to speak. His tenure is of no use to him. The manuscript is a problem. Get the manuscript and any other information possible.

#14

INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Essence: Someone searched professor’s office. Office is trashed.

Subtext: Items that seem unimportant are collected by Colin and Delaney.

Colin searches for clues, collects acrostics and other symbols that may lead to the attacker and the manuscript the vandal missed. Bible, Shakespeare, Don Quixote, torn receipt for mailing a package.

Hope: They may have found a clue to the manuscript.

#15

INT./ HOSPITAL ROOM AND CORRIDOR – DAY

Essence: Professor is still in danger.

Hope: Will Colin and Delaney ignore it until forced to by an assailant?

Subtext: They will help the professor.

Arc. They stop fighting each other.

During a visit, Colin finds the hospital room empty. An aide tells him to wait because professor is having therapy. In a few moments Colin notices there is no scheduled therapy session listed on the nurse’s wall board. He chases a man down corridors and fails to stop him, but the professor, dumped out of his wheelchair, is lying on the floor. An attendant wheels him back to his room and a nurse exams him. Colin won’t leave until he is sure Professor is not worse for his accident.

A policeman interrogates Colin. Then, Delaney arrives. She claims that she didn’t see the intruder. Colin isn’t convinced that she didn’t. Still, he accepts Delaney’s offer to help retrieve information from the professor.

#16

INT. LAB – DAY

Essence: Colin examines the motor skills the professor lacks now.

Hope: Will the contraption he builds help with communication?

Conflict: The missing manuscript is only a part of the trouble.

Arc: Colin is actively working on Professor’s problems.

Subtext: Delaney works against him.

#17

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Essence: Colin uncovers Professor’s plan.

Hope/fear: Will Colin be able to carry it out?

Subtext: There are a few clues.

Arc: The manuscript isn’t on campus.

Arc:

With an old device Colin rigs for the professor to signal “yes” or “no” and communicate without speech, Colin begins to notice how the Professor is fighting to answer questions.

Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. In a town in Spain. they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.

With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.

Delaney insists she will accompany Colin to Europe. So neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.

ACT TWO

#18

INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY

Essence: The opposition sends authorities .

Fear: The will stop and hold Colin at the airport.

Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.

Subtext: Why does Delaney stay with him?

Arc: They have to find a way to travel to Europe.

#19

EXT. SHIP – DAY

Essence: Without passports they may be arrested on shore.

Fear: The search may end.

Subtext: Delaney refuses to change her mind about Colin.

Arc: Colin shares dry clothes with her and she acctepts..

Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.

The Captain warns them police wait for them at their destination, so they jump overboard.

Delaney loses her suitcases.

#20

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin sees how attractive Delaney can be.

Hope: We want them to be friends.

Conflict: They have separate reasons to get the manuscript.

Subtext: Delaney keeps Colin away.

Arc: She softens a little.

The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.

She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly. She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she plans to get the manuscript first.

@21

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Essence: Colin has some of Professor’s evidence from his office. It points to the lost play, Cardenio.

Hope: Will they be able to find more of it?

Conflict: Delaney may keep information from Colin.

Subtext: Her arguments begin to give away her goals.

Arc: Colin sees a pattern in the clues.

#22

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: They have to investigate old play scripts.

Hope: Somebody must have family ties to Professor.

Subtext: Delaney finds more information from the enemy, Bragg.

Arc: A reveal shows her real intentions.

Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. Bragg is following them. Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.

Delaney meets Bragg secretly. Bragg threatens to kill Colin. Delaney agrees to give him whatever they find.

#23

EXT./ INT. TRAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains.

Fear: Does he realize someone is following them?

Conflict: Bragg confronts Delaney on a train.

Arc. Delaney sabotages Colin’s secret mission.

ACT THREE

#24

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Essence: Colin has ideas that there are clues in a small town.

Fear: Will they have been destroyed over the centuries?

Conflict: Delaney wants them for her own purposes.

Arc: Another enemy is added.

Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.

An old priest seems helpful, but he turns on them when he learns what they want. A young priest comes forward. He has seen Cardenio written on an old script, but much of it came from Don Quixote.

#25

EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Essence: People will not answer questions about “Don Quixote”.

Fear: They harbor old grievances about their beloved book.

Conflict: The young sends them to to the town archives.

INT. ARCHIVES – DAY

Essence:

Essence: Colin discovers crypto.

Hope: Will his information lead to the lost play?

Subtext: An official hands them a copy of a scrap of play script, numbered 58, that many inquiries that year, mostly by email. It does exist somewhere in Spain.

Arc: They are getting closer.

#26

EXT. TOWN BAR – DAY

Essence: Townspeople threatens them.

Fear: Will they survive?

Subtext: Delaney feels sorry for Collin.

Arc: Bragg is becoming fed up with Delaney.

In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play. Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio. Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.

Delaney insists she has no information for
Bragg, yet. He threatens Colin’s safety. No one will find him.

They return to the cathedral.

EXT./INT. CATHEDRAL – NIGHT

Essence: Colin believes there are icons and other clues.

Fear: They will be found searching.

Subtext: Clues they missed have more meaning.

Conflict: The old priest told them to stay away.

Arc: Colin is committed to this search.

Vespers are over. Colin and Delaney hide in the church. When no one remains but them, they search for hiding places in carvings and statuary for artifacts and clues.

Delaney finds three rings, but she hides them.

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Essence: The opposition is strengthening.

Fear: The journey has more danger than they realized.

Conflict: Some people like Bragg will stop them from finding and returning the manuscript.

Subtext: Delaney struggles with her feelings about Colin and he dedication to find what they are looking for.

Arc: She will help Colin find it and then take it.

Three men from the bar surround them. Colin and Delaney fight their way and escape.

#27

EXT. TOWN – HOTEL – NIGHT

Essence: The first attractive woman to be fond of Colin is Delaney and she doesn’t want to be attractive to him.

Hope: We hope she won’t betray him.

Subtext: She wants to validate her family’s ancestral authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.

Arc: She treats Colin with affection.

Delaney has softened toward Colin. She dresses his cuts. Colin is comfortable with her. He admits he cares more about Delaney than Shakespeare’s legacy. She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.

#28

EXT. MOUNTAIN RESORT – DAY

Essence: Clues lead them to a mountain town.

Hope: No one seems to follow them.

Subtext: Delaney makes excuses.

Conflict: Colin discovers Delaney hides information from him.

Arc: Colin loses the last bit of confidence in her.

There are no rooms available. Ski season is late but the resort will be busy shortly. When they have lunch, Delaney complains about her foot. Colin pulls off her boot before she can stop him. On three toes she has a ring. The rings set in a pile have a spear design. Colin is furious. Stealing is against his principles.

#29

EXT. / INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY

Essence: He wants to finish the investigation and go home.

Hope: His determination grows and he makes better headway.

Subtext: He has pages of Cardenio in his hands.

Arc: Against his better judgment he shows Delaney.

Colin interviews a family in the mountains. They have old play scripts passed down about “Cardenio”. They share one with Colin. He tells Delaney.

#28

EXT. CABIN – DAY

Essence: Delaney confesses.

Hope: Now she can quit betraying him.

Conflict. Bragg won’t let her.

Arc: Delaney and Colin are in danger, so she steals the manuscript. for
Bragg.

(Colin must earn this.) They rent a cabin. She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her. She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Colin figures out clues to the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe. She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.

Delaney steals the manuscripts Colin has.

#29

EXT./INT. CABIN – DAY

Essence: Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.

Fear: What will he do?

Conflict: Colin has to protect the manuscript. and prove worthy to these people.

Arc. He has become a fighter.

Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans. She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.

#30

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Delaney has a chance to give Bragg the manuscript, but she doesn’t.

Fear: She is in more danger.

Subtext: The manuscript and plyy script have taken on great importance.

Arc: No one is safe from the opposition.

After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her in their rented vehicle. When the car wrecks, they go on foot.

#31

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin is ready to abandon Delaney, but has a change of heart.

Hope/fear: Will he be able to rescue her?

Conflict: It is Colin against Bragg.

Arc: The betrayer is the victim.

Colin picks up Delaney’s trail. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves Clues for Colin to reach her. He saves Delaney.

#32

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

They carry the manuscripts over the mountain pass to tourist resort gondolas.

#33

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: They go for help at the ski resort.

Hope/fear: Will Bragg catch up with them?

Conflict: Bragg will not give up easily.

Arc: Delaney and Colin are working together.

Bragg follows and attacks Colin. Bragg pulls a gun.

Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts. Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley. Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola. Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg. Colin climbs out to save him, but Bragg falls.

ACT FOUR

#34

EXT. HOMELAND – DAY

Essence: They don’t have everything the professor wanted, but it does not matter anymore. They learn that others have rewritten Cardenio and performed it..

Fear/hope: What will they find at home fi they can get back?

Conflict: They have no passports and authorities are looking for them.

Arc: They have become good as sleuths.

Colin and Delaney sneak back home.

Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.

#35

Ext. Hospital – Day

Essence: Surprises meet them.

Hope: Will Colin forgive Delaney for working against him?

Conflict: Someone else attacked Professor.

Subtext/reveal : Hunter is the real enemy. Colin turns Hunter over to police.

Arc: Colin has lost his graduate degree, but he has found something else he likes more.

They visit Professor. Laurel wins the assistant’s position. She has found her calling is caring for the ailing man, who is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.

Professor signals that he agrees. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.

Professor begs them to go back to Europe to track down other lost plays.

#36

Colin and Delaney say goodbye to their classmates at the airport, as they fly to Europe.

[Mary Lynn]

Cheryl, where do we post our scene? My printout says, WIM Lesson 1 … but no module. Would you please get back to me?

[Joyce Davidson]

Joyce’s Assignment 9

WIL: Busy month, October, so I am late but posting and I am not discouraged. I will catch up.

ACT ONE

#1

EXT./INT: CAMPUS THEATER – NIGHT

Beginning

Grad students in Shakespeare Literature class in the audience for required attendance of Othello.

OTHELLO

Speak of me as I am. Nothing extenuate, Nor set down aught in malice. Then must you speak Of one that loved not wisely, but too well; Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought, Perplexed in the extreme; of one whose hand, Like the base Judean, threw a pearl away Richer than all his tribe;

Essence: Shakespeare’s play Othello plays final night at campus theater. Between entrances and exits they give their opinions. Colin and Hunter disagree.

Hope: Professor hopes grad students like it.

Conflict: Laurel sits by Colin who is surprised and flattered and Hunter is angry. Delaney is skeptical.

Subtext: Colin isn’t used to attention from women.

Arc: He goes from showing embarrassment to tolerance.

Middle

Laurel wants Colin to walk her home. Delaney insists she will drive her.

Tomorrow Professor expects dissertation topics.

End

On the way to the parking lot Othello catches up with Delaney and Laurel.

EXT. INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

#2

Beginning:

Big picture: Colin knows literature, but not women.

Essence: A graduate class is divided by positions they take about Shakespeare ‘s authorship controversy.

Hope/Fear: Colin faces the last semester to earn a PHD. And his last opportunity financially.

Conflict: The brightest student of the class accepts historical Stratfordian legacy. A division of legacy believers and new evidence believers emerges.

Subtext embeds their opinions which cause jealousy. Also, they vie for an assistantship position for Professor, whose opinion will be revealed.

Arc: Colin, becomes distracted by Laurel.

In the library among the shelves several students search for books. COLIN FAIRBANKS, graduate student, reaches for a heavy volume, but before he pulls it, LAUREL GOODE, sexy classmate, yanks his shoulder to face her. Her mission is to seduce Colin and have him write her dissertation and cheat on the finals. He refuses.

Middle:

He tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.

A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.

Delaney interrupts as Colin fumbles with the book.

Hunter appears.

Colin blames Hunter. But he backs away from a scuffle.

Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.

End:

Laurel storms off in a huff with Hunter close behind.

Delaney ridicules Colin for falling for Laurel’s motives.

Colin has his confidence dashed.

#3

EXIT. / INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

Essence: Two sides form.

Hope: Colin is a dud around women, a failing we hope ends with sexy Laurel.

Subtext: Delaney annoys HUnter.

Conflict: Hunter appears angry when Laurel flirts with Colin.

Arc: Colin, uncomfortable with confrontations, admits the class is becoming a battlefield.

Beginning

Delaney sits by Hunter, engrossed in a newspaper in the current periodicals, and teases him.

Middle

She has never seen him go to the library. He tries to wriggle his way out since computers provide enormous information and he never saw her study anything until today.

End

Hunter follows Delaney to the literature section.

#4

INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

Essence: Colin is the most dedicated to the studies.

Fear: Classmates resent him.

Conflict: Hunter shows his anger toward Colin.

Arc: He changes from lackadaisical to concerned.

Beginning

Colin collects several volumes and hands them to Laurel. She declares he can’t resist her. She kisses him. Colin is uncomfortable with sexy women,

Middle

Delaney and Hunter interrupt Laurel’s clinch, an embarrassment for Colin. Laurel accuses Hunter of dropping a book on her. He denies it and shifts accusations to Laurel’s flirting because she came to study with Colin.

Subtext: What is Hunter up to? Is he merely determined to be graduated and why does he help Laurel?

EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY

#5

Beginning

Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.

INT. LECTURE ROOM DAY

Essence: the class professor has an interest in their standing about the controversy.

Conflict: One of them will be the professor’s assistant for the last semester.

Hope/fear: Colin is a shoo-in, but he can’t accept., even though he needs the financial help.

Scene arc: Colin corrects Hunter’s explanation.

PROFESSOR GRAYDON ALEXANDRES draws three rings on a portable chalkboard. Inside the first he writes “concept,” the second, “research,” and third, “completion.” He points the chalk at Laurel and places an X between concept and research. She pulls books out of a satchel, library books. Delaney laughs at Laurel. There was no time for her to checkout books. Laurel whines that she couldn’t find her I.D. anyway. Her thesis will be to contrast Ophelia, Kate in “Taming of the Shrew,” Desdemona, Juliet about their poor choice of lovers.

Middle

Hunter offers the only comment that her dissertation will run two pages at least.

Professor asks Hunter to discuss his project. Hunter stands beside the lectern. He strokes his chin, stares at the ceiling, turns to the others and recites lines from Hamlet’s “to be or not to be:.. His thesis concerns fathers and how they drive their children. He cites the “To be or not to be” quote. Professor with raised eyebrows nods at Colin whose looks suggest he is unwilling to comment. Professor clears his throat. Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him.

End

After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes. Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.

Students break it up. Colin asks a series of questions. Hunter finally argues he has more than one idea and uses poor grammar, which Colin corrects. The entire class moans.

Professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications. Since Delaney is in competition with all classmates, especially with Colin, for an assistant position during their last term toward a PHD. She shoots daggers at him.

#6

INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Colin dislikes disputes and confrontation.

Essence: Colin opposes professor’s ideas, but admires the man. He doesn’t criticize.

Hope: We hope Colin will take a stand.

Conflict: The controversy is no longer just a hot subject but dangerous.

Subtext: Much money will be lost by people who benefit from current authorship credits in Stratford.

Middle

Finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications. Secret: Professor will not divulge how he has old script page of Cardenio and what this means to his manuscript.

End

Professor asks why Colin hasn’t applied for assistant job.

Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s remarks often collide with Colin’s beliefs.

Colin warns Professor the manuscript may cause danger. People are complaining that they have much to lose, but the other camp says the truth is important. No one should go without credit for genius.

EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY

#7

Beginning

Colin is tired of Delaney’s ridicule and her arguments.

Essence: Colin dodges Delaney at the elevator.

Fear: Will they ever be more than classmates, at odds, too?

Subtext: Delaney knows more about seventeenth century culture than Colin.

Arc: Colin can’t avoid opposing ideas to the authorship any more not only because it has divided the class but also because the professor’s book may add too much fuel to the fight.

Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.

INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Essence: The International Shakespeare Society for Preservation of Shakespeare’s Legacy is prepared to stop the professor at any cost.

Conflict: He has a manuscript ready to reveal new evidence.

Hope/fear: on the part of Delaney. She dislikes Colin and will do anything to keep him out of her way.

Arc: From discussions and published books to threats.

Beginning

President of Graduate Studies looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.

He welcomes their generous endowment donation, but he wonders why Professor Alexandres has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat about the professor and his new publication.

INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY

Essence: The professor suffers a mysterious attack.

Hope/fear: We hope he will be able to publish his book.

Conflict: The manuscript is taken.

Subtext: Delaney doesn’t suffer from the attack although she is nearby.

Arc: Colin saves Delaney and professor.

Beginning

Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.

Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.

Professor has no time for her.

The hissing continues.

Middle

When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Othello startles him and he drops it, so Delaney steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms. Bragg and Othello disappear.

End

Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.

INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY MAIN FLOOR – DAY

Essence: Police question Colin.

Hope: We hope he won’t be blamed.

Conflict: Delaney says she saw two men.

Police suggest that she was thinking about the play and the other man was Colin. She implicates him.

Police open the manuscript, filled with blank pages.

Since professor can’t talk about what might be missing, Colin is set free and police rule case is an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.

Arc: Police will watch Colin’s activities.

#11

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning

Colin visits the professor to study how he can help him.

Essence: Professor is severely impaired after the attack.

Hope: We hope Colin can communicate with him.

Arc. Colin tries different methods to communicate with the impaired professor.

Middle

He fails again and again until professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.

Subtext: The movements seem to be a message, but what?

End

Colin understands that the manuscript is missing. He must find a way to communicate with Professor Alexandres.

#12

INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

Beginning

Class meets without the professor.

Essence: Most classmates accept the police report. Hunter doesn’t want Colin’s involvement dropped.

Fear: If he quits his studies now, it is impossible for Colin to continue with his PHD.

Arc: Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t talk or explain where it is.

Middle

The class has no chance to write dissertations. Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel passes around straws in a cup.

Hunter protests. Over-ruled.

Colin slumps with disappointment when he pulls the shortest straw.

Laurel offers to accompany him. Now Colin really looks frantic.

End

Delaney steps between them. She presents a fake shortened straw to be Colin’s assistant. It causes a heated discussion. Hunter takes Delaney aside and tells her to back off, but she says she will get the manuscript first, a real sacrifice since she dislikes Colin and his beliefs Colin refuses to go and investigate. Let Delaney handle the trip if she wants it so much. The others lean on his loyalty to the professor. No dice.

# 13

INT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Essence: What can the university to do now the professor is hospitalized?

Subtext: The manuscript is their goal.

Fear: The opposition will take over.

Arc. The opposition doesn’t have the manuscript.

President of Graduate Studies at his desk with several visitors who expect the professor will be let go now that he is unable to speak. His tenure is of no use to him. The manuscript is a problem.

The administration decides to locate the manuscript and any other information possible to make sure it won’t damage the university graduate program and graduate funding.

#14

INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Essence: Someone searched professor’s office. Office is trashed.

Hope: They may have found a clue to the manuscript, a clue that sends them to Michigan.

Subtext: Items that seem unimportant are collected by Colin and Delaney.

Colin searches for clues, collects acrostics and other symbols that may lead to the attacker and the manuscript the vandal missed. Bible, Shakespeare, Don Quixote, torn receipt for mailing a package.

INT./ HOSPITAL ROOM AND CORRIDOR – DAY

Essence: Professor is still in danger.

Hope: Will Colin and Delaney ignore it until forced to by an assailant?

Subtext: They will help the professor.

Arc. They stop fighting each other.

Beginning

During a visit, Colin finds the hospital room empty. An aide tells him to wait because professor is having therapy. In a few moments Colin notices there is no scheduled therapy session listed on the nurse’s wall board. He chases a man down corridors and fails to stop him, but the professor, dumped out of his wheelchair, lies on the floor. An attendant wheels him back to his room and a nurse exams him. Colin won’t leave until he is sure Professor is not worse for his accident.

MIddle

A policeman interrogates Colin. Then, Delaney arrives. She claims that she didn’t see the intruder. Colin isn’t convinced that she didn’t.

End

Still, he accepts Delaney’s offer to help retrieve information from the professor.

INT. LAB – DAY

Essence: Colin examines the motor skills the professor lacks now.

Hope: Will the contraption he builds help with communication?

Conflict: The missing manuscript is only a part of the trouble.

Arc: Colin is actively working on Professor’s problems.

Subtext: Delaney works against him.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Essence: Colin uncovers Professor’s plan.

Hope/fear: Will Colin be able to carry it out?

Subtext: There are a few clues they must investigate in Michigan and also Folger Library.

Arc: The manuscript isn’t on campus.

Beginning

With an old device Colin rigs for the professor to signal “yes” or “no” and communicate without speech, Colin begins to notice how the Professor is fighting to answer questions.

Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. In a town in Spain. they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which Society searches for in Europe.

Middle

With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.

End

Delaney insists she will accompany Colin. So, neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.

ACT TWO

INT. MICHIGAN – RESTAURANT – DAY

Essence: In an interview with family whose relative in 1800’s made startling discoveries, they aren’t too forth coming.

Fear: Delaney will runs with this before other information is brought to light.

Conflict: Family wants none of this to come back at them.

Subtext: Colin sees there is secret information.

Arc: Colin changes his mind and is more receptive about the investigation.

Beginning

Throughout Shakespeare’s plays that provide information leading to Sir Henry Neville.

Middle

The family refuses to be quoted or their identity revealed.

End

Delaney persuades Colin to interview a recent author Linda Ramos.

INT. RAM0S’ HOME – DAY

Essence: Colin angers Linda with his opening remarks, so Delaney must encourage her to trust them.

Conflict: She had a co-author who refused to be acknowledged.

Hope/Fear: He may not be alive since he vanished.

Subtext: He last was seen in Spain.

Beginning.

Ramos sounds like it’s a commercial pitch for her book. Colin debates with her and upsets her.

Middle:

Delaney receives more information and the secret that she had a co-author who is missing.

End

They assure Linda they will also investigate the other author’s disappearance along with their manuscript search.

INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY

Essence: The opposition sends authorities .

Fear: The will stop and hold Colin at the airport.

Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.

Subtext: Why does Delaney stay with him?

Arc: They have to find a way to travel to Europe.

Beginning

Authorities pull Colin from boarding line and interrogate him.

MIddle

They do not return his passport and go through his suitcases. Delaney rolls her eyes at the ultra organized, neat bag.

End

Colin hates to give up so early, but he must have his passport to leave. They also need his passport for him to come back. She has connections.

EXT. SHIP – DAY

Essence: Without passports they may be arrested on shore.

Fear: The search may end since someone alerts the authorities.

Subtext: Delaney refuses to change her mind about Colin.

Arc: Colin shares dry clothes with her and she accepts.

Beginning

Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.

Middle

The Captain gives Colin advice about women. He learns that police wait for them at their destination, so Colin jumps overboard with his suitcase, but Captain orders a mate to throw Delaney over the rail.

Delaney loses her suitcases.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin sees how attractive Delaney can.

Hope: We want them to be friends.

Conflict: They have separate reasons and can’t trust each other to get the manuscript.

Subtext: Delaney keeps Colin at arm’s-length.

Arc: She softens a little when he offers her his dry clothes.

Beginning

The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.

Middle

She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly.

End

She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she reveals plans to get the manuscript first to a contact.

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Essence: Colin has some of Professor’s evidence from his office. It points to the lost play, Cardenio.

Hope: Will they be able to find more of it?

Conflict: Delaney keeps information from Colin.

Subtext: Her arguments begin to give away her goals for coming with him.

Arc: Colin sees a pattern in the clues.

Cardenio has ties to Don Quixote.

Beginning.

They spread out the information they have already amassed, but Delaney contradicts Colin’s every interpretation.

Middle:

He accuses her of messing up the investigation.

End

He finds clues leading to Henry Neville, but he refuses to settle on him and studies further.

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Essence: They have to investigate old play scripts.

Hope: Somebody must have family ties to Professor.

Subtext: Delaney questions Bragg’s connections.

Arc: A reveal shows her real intentions are personal

Beginning

Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. He can form a plan.

Middle

Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.

End

Delaney leaves. Bragg is following them.

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Essence: Delaney meets Bragg secretly.

Conflict: Bragg threatens to kill Colin.

Subtext: Delaney agrees to give him whatever information they find.

Fear: We fear she will betray Colin and he will be harmed.

Arc: Delaney’s actions prove she isn’t loyal.

Beginning: Bragg has followed them.

Middle: He will coerce Delany to give him Cardenio and the manuscript if She finds them.

End: Delaney is at a crossroad: help Colin and have him killed or give Bragg the information without knowing what he plans to do with it.

EXT./ INT. TRAIN DAY

Essence:Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains.

Fear: Does he realize someone is following them?

Conflict: Bragg confronts Delaney on a train.

Arc. Delaney sabotages Colin’s secret mission.

Beginning

Colin has no choice but to trust Delaney.

Middle

Bragg lurks on the train and waits for her to give him their plan.

ACT THREE

EXT. TOWN DAY

Essence: Colin follows clues in a small town.

Fear: Will they have been destroyed over the centuries?

Conflict: Delaney wants them for her own purposes.

Arc: Another enemy is added.

Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.

Beginning

An old priest seems helpful, but he turns on them when he learns what they want.

Middle

A young priest comes forward. He has seen Cardenio written on an old script, but much of it came from Don Quixote.

End:

Townspeople are proud of Cervantes, Don Quixote and resent Colin’s interrogations.

EXT. TOWN HALL DAY

Essence: People will not answer questions about “Don Quixote”.

Fear: They harbor old grievances about their beloved book.

Conflict: The young sends them to to the town archives.

INT. ARCHIVES – DAY

Essence: Colin discovers crypto.

Hope: Will his information lead to the lost play?

Subtext: An official hands them a copy of a scrap of play script, numbered 58, that many inquiries that year, mostly by email. It does exist somewhere in Spain.

Arc: They are getting closer.

EXT. TOWN BAR DAY

Essence: Townspeople threaten them.

Fear: Will they survive?

Subtext: Delaney feels guilty and sorry for Collin.

Arc: Bragg is becoming fed up with Delaney.

Beginning

In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play.

Middle

Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio.

End

Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.

EXT./INT. CATHEDRAL NIGHT

Essence: Colin believes there are icons and other clues.

Fear: They will be found searching.

Subtext: Clues they missed have more meaning.

Conflict: The old priest told them to stay away.

Arc: Colin is committed to this search.

Vespers are over. Colin and Delaney hide in the church. When no one remains but them, they search for hiding places in carvings and statuary for artifacts and clues.

Delaney finds pictures of three rings. She has them from her family and hides them, each one on a separate toe. Delaney insists she has no information for Bragg, yet. He threatens Colin’s safety. No one will find him if Bragg is a ruthless man.

EXT. CATHEDRAL – DAY

Essence: The opposition is strengthening.

Fear: The journey has more danger than they realized.

Conflict: Some people like Bragg will stop them from finding and returning the manuscript.

Subtext: Delaney struggles with her feelings about Colin and he dedication to find what they are looking for.

Arc: She will help Colin find it and then take it. They return to the cathedral.

Three men from the bar surround them. Colin and Delaney fight their way and escape.

EXT. TOWN HOTEL – NIGHT

Essence: The first attractive woman to be fond of Colin is Delaney but she doesn’t want to be attractive to him.

Hope: We hope she won’t betray him.

Subtext: She wants to validate her family’s ancestral authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.

Arc: She treats Colin with affection.

Beginning

Delaney has softened toward Colin. She dresses his cuts. Colin is comfortable with her. He admits he cares more about Delaney than Shakespeare’s legacy.

Middle

She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.

End

She has three rings but doesn’t share their importance with him.

EXT. MOUNTAIN RESORT DAY

Essence: Clues lead them to a mountain town.

Hope: No one seems to follow them there.

Subtext: Delaney makes excuses.

Conflict: Colin discovers Delaney hides information from him.

Arc: Colin loses the last bit of confidence in her.

Beginning

There are no rooms available. Ski season is late but the resort will be busy shortly.

Middle

When they have lunch, Delaney complains about her foot. Colin pulls off her boot before she can stop him. On each of three toes she has a ring.

The rings set in a pile have a spear design. Colin is furious about her stealing, which is against his principles.

End

Delaney tries to explain that they are hers.

EXT.INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY

Essence: He wants to finish the investigation and go home.

Fear: Will he leave Delaney?

Conflict: Colin has to protect the manuscript. and prove worthy to these people.

Subtext: He has pages of Cardenio, probably authentic, in his hands.

Arc: His determination grows and he makes better headway.

Beginning

(Colin must earn this.) They rent a cabin.

Middle

She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her.

End

Colin argues with Delaney. They barely speak.

EXT. CABIN DAY

Essence: Delaney confesses she’s betraying him.

Hope: Now she can quit.

Conflict. Bragg won’t let her.

Arc: Delaney and Colin are in danger.

Beginning

She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Delaney seduces Colin.

Subtext: She may have another trick planned.

Hope: We hope they can be true to each other.

Conflict: Whose side is Delaney on now? She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.

Arc: Colin gives up his mistrust for he has fallen in love with Delaney.

Beginning

Love scene when Delaney approaches Colin.

Middle

She makes a mistake.

End

Delaney steals the manuscript Colin has.

EXT./INT. CABIN DAY

Essence: Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.

Fear: What will he do?

Conflict: Delaney has a chance to give Bragg the manuscript, but she doesn’t.

Arc. He has become a fighter.

Beginning

Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans.

Middle: She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.

End

Delaney pretends she doesn’t have it.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her.

Fear: She is in danger.

Subtext: The manuscript and play script have taken on greater importance.

Arc: No one is safe from the opposition.

Beginning

Bragg takes Delaney in a rented vehicle. After the car wrecks, they go on foot.

Middle: Bragg kidnaps Delaney

End: After Colin learns more from a contact, he returns and she is gone.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin is ready to abandon Delaney, but has a change of heart.

Hope/fear: Will he rescue her?

Conflict: It is Colin against Bragg.

Arc: The betrayer becomes the victim.

Beginning.

Delaney leaves Clues for Colin to reach her.

Middle:

Colin picks up Delaney’s trail.

End

He saves Delaney when they flee from Bragg.

EXT. RESORT GONDOLAS DAY

Essence: They aren’t free, yet.

Conflict: Bragg follows and attacks Colin at gondolas.

Hope/fear: Delaney will have a choice between her love for Colin and her loyalty to her quest for proof of ancestral authorship.

Fear/hope: What will they find at home if they can get back?

Subtext: Colin has a challenge, too, if his feelings for Delaney are strong enough to overcome his common sense.

Arc: Colin’s fighting nature has arrived.

Bragg pulls a gun.

Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts.

Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley.

Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola.

Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg.

Colin climbs out to save Bragg and manuscript. The gondola almost arrives at the station, as Bragg falls. Because of Colin he won’t fall a great distance. His fate is unknown.

ACT FOUR

EXT. HOSPITAL DAY

Essence: Changes back home surprise them. Professor speaks now.

Hope: Their college aspirations are dashed. Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.

Conflict: Laurel has taken their places.

Subtext: Othello brings the rings to Delaney, a man steals them. They have lost much of what the professor wanted.

Arc: Colin and Delaney have both become sleuths and hooked on mysteries.

They visit Professor. Laurel has found her calling is caring for the ailing man. Professor is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. He has lost his position because of he is not strong enough to fulfill his teaching duties or to address the controversy. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.

Othello bursts in.

Colin shoves women behind him and prepares to fight.

Othello hands over blurred pages. He gives Colin a letter. Although Bragg is alive and is grateful Colin tried to save him, someone else is after the information. This controversy is far from over. (Or he brings in Bragg).

Professor agrees it should end. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.

EXT./INT. ADMINSTRATION BUILDING – DAY

Colin goes to find out why they put professor out to pasture and meets Delaney there. They sit outside and argue. She yells when a man steals her packages. Colin chases and tackles Hunter. He drags him into the ad building. Delaney follows and confronts the President. She has clout.

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Laurel wheels professor out on the lawn. Colin informs him that Hunter has is the attacker.

Professor convinces Colin he should go back to Europe to track other lost plays.

INT. AIRPLANE DAY

Essence: Colin boards plane.

Hope: Colin won’t be alone.

Subtext: He is late for the boarding.

Conflict: He travels a different path from his old one.

Arc: No longer on the fence or non-confrontational.

On the plane Colin goes to his seat and it’s next to Delaney. She has clout.

The end

[Joe Donato]

Joe’s scene requirements.

My vision is to persevere and stay the course of building steady daily routine, and disciplines that produce consistent writing of exceptional quality. Ultimately, the fruit of those habits and disciplines will be a track record of great marketable scripts that will make other successful talented pros seek me out.

What I learned: I learned a lot about my process. I also learned that sometimes the way I write requres a “sequence” to play out the entire “arc” and “essence”. It took a while to figure this out because I was looking at what should be part 1 of a series of shots and trying to flesh that whole thing out with the five “arc-conflict-subtext-hope/fear” elements, which was just dragging the whole thing out. I finally realized I had to go in the opposite direction and “consolidate”, not “elaborate”. That took a loooong time, but I’m persevering!

Its long so I made a link:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/icz241rptwkev4d/Module%204%20-%20day%209%20-%20scene%20requirements.pdf?dl=0

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Joe Donato.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Joe Donato.

[Erin Ziccarelli]

Erin Ziccarelli Scene Requirements

Vision: I am going to create profound scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: this is my favorite exercise so far – breaking down the scene requirements is helping me to focus my outline by eliminating some scenes and combining others. This has taken a long time but I’m enjoying the process!

Alex winning the poker game to Alex leaving the room (INT.
SOUTH END CASINO – NIGHT)

Essence: introducing Alex is a young, invincible, and
promising member of the Donovan family to exposing some cracks in the
surface of his loyalty
Conflict: the South End families want every member of
the North End families destroyed. Alex is not completely on board – opposition
to the popular opinion.
Subtext: introducing Alex as the “winner” – he’s the
ace card, and the ace always wins. He wins the game, hinting that he will
be the winner of the “games” that the North End and South End play. He will
come out on top.
Hope/fear: we are hoping that Alex will be successful
in his endeavor. Fearing that he may fail or fall out of favor with the South
End families.

Nathanial Caden and Richard Brennan arguing over their
family dynasties to Nathanial pulling a gun on Richard and demanding he
leave (INT. NATHANIAL’S OFFICE – NIGHT)

Essence: introducing the rivalry between leader of the
North End families and the want-to-be leader of the North End families
Conflict: struggle for power within the North End
families. They are divided. Richard challenges Nathanial’s leadership.
Subtext: the Boston rivalry runs deep. The vitriol
between the families is real, and dangerous. The North End is far less
united than the South End.
Hope/fear: we hope that Nathanial Caden (the gentler of
the two) will maintain his influence. We fear Richard Brennan taking over
and doing harm to the Donovans (especially Alex).

Alex and Kitty go from flirting with each other to
developing a sincere connection and realize they’re more similar than they
thought (INT. KITTY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT)

Essence: introducing Alex and Kitty’s secret and forbidden
relationship (Romeo and Juliet love story) and Alex’s honest view of the
family feud.
Conflict: Alex and Kitty may love each other but are
still on “opposite sides” of the family feud. They’re trying to overcome
these differences. See each other in a different light.
Subtext: They’re from different sides and yet so
similar. Metaphor for the families – they’re all more similar than they’d
like to admit.
Hope/fear: we hope Alex and Kitty will make it. We
fear they will not overcome their differences. We fear the families
tearing them apart.

Kitty arrives at the porch and then runs to try to save
Alex (EXT. CADEN HOUSE – NIGHT)

Essence: Nathanial reveals that Richard Brennan will
earn his trust tonight, much to Kitty’s dismay.
Conflict: controversy between Kitty and her father. She
no longer believes in him or his mission. He’s starting to trust Richard.
She despises Richard.
Subtext: Kitty and Nathanial are both Cadens, but they
have different goals, desires, and plans for their futures. Shared last
name/family does not guarantee compatibility.
Hope/fear: Hope that Kitty will stand up to Nathanial.
Fear that he will find out about her and Alex.

Sequence of the Dunbar Operation – from Alex meeting with
the seller to getting arrested with Kitty watching (INT. BOAT CABIN –
NIGHT, INT. BOAT DECK – CONTINUOUS, EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex’s counterfeit deal gone wrong. He gives
himself up for the other members of the South End. Goes to prison
Conflict: North End v. South End. Alex v. himself.
Subtext: Alex is willing to go to prison for the
cause. He wants Patrick, Darren, and Collin to save themselves so the
whole South End won’t fall into ruin.
Hope/fear: We hope that they will all escape. We fear
Alex getting caught. When he does, we fear the aftermath. What will
happen to him?

Twenty years later, Nathanial Caden is on his deathbed.
He passes, leaving his estate to Alex Donovan. (INT. NATHANIAL’S BEDROOM –
DAY, EXT. CADEN ESTATE – DAY)

Essence: Nathanial Caden’s death. Will and Demi’s
entrance into the story, as the social worker and Nathanial’s lawyer. They
are both stunned to learn that Nathanial has left his estate to Alex.
Conflict: Confusion – why would a Caden leave money to
a Donovan? Was he coerced? Alex is in prison now. Will they be able to
get him the money?
Subtext: The North and South End feud is known to
Boston’s lawyers and social workers. The feud runs deep, and Demi and
Will are shocked to learn of the beneficiary.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex and Nathanial’s
connection will be explored. We fear Alex being in prison.

Alex unpacking to injecting himself with cocaine (INT.
PRISON CELL – DAY)

Essence: introduce 40-year old Alex. He’s aged, tense,
and has developed a cocaine addiction. While the teenage Alex from the
opening scene was young, vibrant, and hopeful, the “new Alex” is the
opposite.
Conflict: Alex v. cocaine addiction, aloneness.
Subtext: Alex has not followed Shane’s advice – he is
beholden to his addiction. He has given up and lost hope. There is
nothing for him to live for.
Hope/fear: we fear the consequences of Alex’s addiction.
We hope the money will help him.

Alex arriving in the common area to being hauled out of
the common area after beating Ted up (INT. COMMON AREA – DAY)

Essence: the feud between Alex and Ted has not died
down. They remember Dunbar like it was yesterday.
Conflict: Who will “win” the fight?
Subtext: The North and South End feud is alive and
well. Nothing’s changed in the past twenty years
Hope/fear: We hope Alex beats up Ted and doesn’t get
in trouble for it. He’s seriously injured Ted, and we’re afraid he’ll be
charged for it.

Roger arrives and meets Demi and Will, Roger gets rid
of them so he can talk to Alex alone (INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY, INT.
OBSERVATION ROOM – DAY)

Essence: introduce the dynamic between Demi, Will, and
Roger, and the beginning of Roger’s mysterious connection to this case
Conflict: Alex v. Roger – can they “outwit” each
other?
Subtext: there’s something about this case for Roger.
He’s from Boston. Why is he so invested?
Hope/fear: We hope Roger will help Alex. We’re afraid Alex
may not get the money.

Roger and Alex start out staring at each other, not
speaking – Roger’s waiting for him to go into withdrawal. The sequence
ends with Alex rejecting the offer and walking off. (INT. INTERROGATION
ROOM – DAY, EXT. PRISON COURTYARD – DAY, INT. PRISON HALLWAY – DAY)

Essence: Roger reveals the inheritance to Alex. Alex
angrily rejects the money and repeatedly states that he never knew Nathanial
Caden. The thought of being associated with a Caden is repulsive to Alex.

Conflict: Alex v. his old ways – he refuses to leave behind
the life he’s chosen. Discord between Roger and Alex.
Subtext: the family feud – Roger is from the North, trying
to help Alex, from the South. If he knew, Alex would not be able to
accept that.
Hope/fear: We want Alex to take the money. He rejected
it. We fear him staying in his old ways.

Alex enters Ted Brennan’s room and witnesses his death
(INT. PATIENT ROOM – NIGHT)

Essence: Richard killed Kitty. Ted knew that Scarlett is
Alex’s daughter.
Conflict: ongoing feud between Ted and Alex – Alex struggles
to believe Ted even though Ted has no reason to lie in his last moments.
Subtext: Kitty’s legacy lives on. Alex can’t believe
what Ted’s saying.
Hope/fear: We hope that Ted is telling the truth. We’re
afraid that Alex won’t act on this news. We want Alex to be encouraged by
the news.

Alex flipping through the Brennan file, then accepting
the money

Essence: Alex realizes Ted was telling the truth
Conflict: emotional – Alex struggling with his
feelings about this news. After recalling an old memory from his time
with Kitty, he decides to take the money.
Subtext: Alex is crossing the line for the first time –
he’s accepting help from a Caden.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex will get to meet Scarlett
and turn over a new leaf. We fear him being disappointed.

Denial stage: Alex meeting Dr. Anderson to telling her
more about his life, while Roger and Dr. Reynolds watch (INT. THERAPY ROOM
– DAY, INT. FOYER – DAY)

Essence: Alex’s first steps of rehab, establish
emotional ethos (why Alex chose his life even when it’s caused him
problems/pain)
Conflict: Alex v. Dr. Anderson – they struggle to
understand each other. Roger v. Alex – Roger is confused as to why Alex
suddenly accepted the money.
Subtext: Roger knows Alex is hiding something. Alex’s
first step towards getting help, trying to do it alone.
Hope/fear: We want Alex to get better. We’re afraid the
doctors will expose his secret.

Anger stage: Alex’s biofeedback session, entering the
sixth hour to him going into convulsions (INT. BIOFEEDBACK ROOM – DAY)

Essence: Alex’s addiction treatment. He’s struggling with
cocaine withdrawal.
Conflict: Alex v. his addiction. He grows antagonistic
with Dr. Reynolds.
Subtext: He struggles with his past, his identity, and
his future. His twisted flashbacks show the confusion he’s experiencing.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid Alex will die at the end of
the scene. He’s in a great deal of physical, mental, and emotional pain.

Alex remembering an imagined conversation with Kitty to
him tearing up the room, declaring that he will get better for her (EXT.
CHARLES RIVER BRIDGE – NIGHT, INT. REHABILITATION CENTER SUITE – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex realizing that Kitty wanted him more
than he wanted her – he feels guilty for abandoning her.
Conflict: emotional – Alex v. the system, he was not
able to commit himself to her because of the family.
Subtext: Alex feels he has let Kitty down. He doesn’t
want to do the same to Scarlett.
Hope/fear: We are hoping Alex and Kitty will have a
happy ending (even though it’s impossible). We fear Alex turning on her.

Bargaining stage: Group therapy session with the participants
sharing to Alex feeling closed off and alone (EXT. GARDENS – DAY)

Essence: Jack and Shaun introduced. They learn about
each other’s pasts. Alex doesn’t share much about himself.
Conflict: controversy – Alex v. the past. Do we
determine our own fate?
Subtext: Alex feels he has never had control over his
life. He’s been on the outside looking in.
Hope/fear: We fear that Alex will never determine his
own fate. We hope that he and Jack and Shaun will connect.

Depression stage: Alex feeling lost, alone, out of
control and hopeless. Kicking a can. Contemplates suicide. “Sees” Scarlett
and stops. (EXT. REHAB CENTER – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex has given up. Whatever hope he found, he
has once again lost.
Conflict: Alex v. himself – he’s feeling trapped. His
suicide is interrupted by his imagination of Scarlett, who then disappears,
leaving him alone.
Subtext: Alex’s first “conversation” with Scarlett. He’s
asking her for help, but she disappears. Only he can help himself.
Hope/fear: We fear that Alex will never leave rehab. He
will never recover.

Alex getting his vitals taken to walking out of the room
(INT. CLINIC ROOM – DAY)

Essence: Dr. Reynolds and Dr. Anderson try to
encourage Alex to keep going. He’s giving up.
Conflict: Alex’s struggle against the future. He’s not
sure he wants one.
Subtext: Alex feels abandoned. He doesn’t think he can
ever move on. Kitty and Scarlett have both left him.
Hope/fear: We hope that the next stage of the program
will help Alex move forward. We fear that he may not want to work with
Jack and Shaun.

Acceptance stage: Alex presenting his business plan,
confident in his ability to do it alone. His plan is questioned – he must
have Jack and Shaun by his side as he’s released (INT. PRESENTATION ROOM –
DAY)

Essence: Alex’s model. He can’t do it alone – he’s told
he must have support from Jack and Shaun.
Conflict: Alex v. Consultant – they’re both convinced
of their methods.
Subtext: Alex has a fear of being hung out to dry
again. He wants the support structure, but doesn’t think he will find it
with Jack and Sean.
Hope/fear: Alex, Jack, and Shaun will learn to trust
each other. Alex’s business will be successful.

Volleyball game with Alex’s team losing to winning
(INT. GYM – DAY)

Essence: Jack, Alex, and Shaun take the first step to
trusting each other. It’s not going to be easy. Alex leaves the rehab
center, sober and ready to go.
Conflict: the two teams playing volleyball. Alex and
his own team are not working together yet.
Subtext: their progress or setbacks in the volleyball game
show their lack of group cohesion or their coming together.
Hope/fear: we hope that Alex will be able to trust Jack
and Shaun.

Alex getting his items returned to him to getting
threatened by Randall Byrne (INT. PRISON ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE – DAY)

Essence: Alex has moved forward. He is leaving the
sheltered world of rehab, only to be thrown back into the snake pit,
shown by a brush in with an old friend of Ted’s.
Conflict: Alex v. Warden. The warden doesn’t believe
in him. Alex v. Randall, who says he’ll kill Alex if he ever returns.
Subtext: Alex is not yet free of the old ways. He’ll
have to work a lot harder to move on from his old life.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid that Alex will slip back into
his old addictions. Be harmed by any of his old enemies.

Roger and Demi learn of the trust, and Alex is released
(INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY, INT. COURTROOM – DAY)

Essence: Demi notifies Roger of the conservatorship
condition. Roger is suspicious. Alex is released.
Conflict: Alex is entering an uncertain time in his
life. He will need to meet it to the best of his ability.
Subtext: He’s kept his secret. We know that Demi knows
something about a conservatee, but Roger can’t know.
Hope/fear: We are afraid Alex’s secret will be exposed
to Roger. We are hopeful for his future – he is finally being released.

Alex and his team enter their new office space, Alex
finds out about the conservatorship clause of the will (INT. GARAGE – DAY,
EXT. GARAGE – DAY, INT. GARAGE – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex and his team have some office space. 20%
of the estate must go to the conservatee – Scarlett Brennan. Alex keeps
the news from Roger.
Conflict: struggle between Alex and deliberation over
what to do about Scarlett.
Subtext: Alex is pushed to find her. He now needs her
signature to get Nathanial’s money. He’s still struggling over his past
with Kitty.
Hope/fear: We hope Alex’s business will be successful.
We fear him delaying meeting Scarlett and not getting the money on time.

Alex trying to launch the business and then goes back
to playing cards – something he’s good at (INT. GARAGE – DAY)

Essence: Alex, Jack, and Shaun are struggling to find
trustworthy buyers. They have Will constantly looking over their shoulder,
evaluating them.
Conflict: Alex is struggling to launch. He’s
conflicted over whether to see Scarlett or not. It’s been a week and he
still hasn’t been to the DMV.
Subtext: Alex needs money – without the inheritance,
it’s difficult for him to buy. He needs Scarlett to get to the money.
Hope/fear: We are afraid Alex’s business will flop or
that Will won’t write him a good review. We’re hoping he visits Scarlett.

Alex sees Scarlett at the DMV but doesn’t talk to her
(INT. DMV – DAY, EXT. DMV – DAY)

Essence: Alex searches for Scarlett at the DMV. He
sees her behind the building, inducing vomiting – she has an eating disorder.
He’s struggling with what to say to her and leaves, without her
signature.
Conflict: emotional – Alex still can’t believe that
she’s his daughter. He dislikes her because she’s from the other side. He’s
at a loss for what to do.
Subtext: Alex remains put off by her association with
the Brennans. He can’t talk to her. He feels ashamed by what happened. What
could be a very happy and emotional scene is dry and unfeeling. Purely mercenary.

Hope/fear: We’re afraid Alex will never talk to her.
We can only hope that they’ll speak sooner rather than later

Alex arriving at the car auction to bidding on several
vehicles, all at a high price (EXT. CAR DEALERSHIP – DAY)

Essence: Alex arrives at the auction, ready to bid.
Jack and Shaun have a lot of questions about where his money is coming
from, but he’s not into answering.
Conflict: opposition – Alex and his team aren’t
exactly on the same page. He’s starting to spend out of control, and
liquidation hasn’t even begun.
Subtext: Alex, Jack, and Shaun don’t really trust each
other. They just need to go along to get along.
Hope/fear: We hope Alex’s investment will pay off. We
fear the team not being able to work together.

Scarlett’s life as a gambler after hours (INT. DIVE BAR
– NIGHT)

Essence: Scarlett has an eating disorder and abuses
alcohol. She’s an excellent card player.
Conflict: Scarlett v. her unhealthy vices – she’s had
an unstable life and it’s showing. Money slips through her fingers.
Subtext: Scarlett is so similar to Alex’s younger
self. She’s just as good a gambler as he is.
Hope/fear: We hope she changes, just as we hope Alex
changes. We’re afraid of her following in the family’s footsteps.

Roger arriving at the garage to remind Alex of his slow
progress to Alex getting him to admit that he was once in prison (INT.
GARAGE – NIGHT)

Essence: Roger sneaks up on Alex. They’re about ready
to kill each other. Alex questions Roger about his past. Roger reveals that
he spent eight years in prison.
Conflict: Alex v. Roger – they’re both struggling with
their pasts and secrecy.
Subtext: Roger can’t admit to Alex what he went to
jail for or who he worked with. Alex can’t admit his connection to
Scarlett.
Hope/fear: We hope Roger will reveal more about his
past. We fear he and Alex’s lack of trust and compatibility.

Scarlett drunkenly singing in the dive bar, with Alex
watching and feeling tempted back into the life he left behind (INT. DIVE
BAR – NIGHT)

Essence: Scarlett is drunk and lost in the act. Alex
arrives at the bar and finds a used needle. He’s tempted by the comforting
scene.
Conflict: Alex v. his past – he’s feeling triggered.
Subtext: Alex sees a lot of himself in Scarlett. She’s
headed for his life.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex won’t use the needle. We’re
afraid he’ll turn into the drunk guy that stumbles out of the bar.

Scarlett and Joe discuss the upcoming shipment and
counterfeiting work (INT. JOE’S CAR – NIGHT)

Essence: Introduction to Joseph Byrne, Scarlett’s boyfriend.
Their relationship is toxic. They’re using each other to get ahead and
climb up the chain.
Conflict: Scarlett v. her role in the family. She and
Joe both need each other. Joe is not a trustworthy or a loving partner.
Subtext: Ted and Kitty’s relationship was likely very
similar to this. Scarlett and Joe’s relationship shows the cutthroat nature
of the family business.
Hope/fear: We hope that Scarlett doesn’t get caught. We’re
afraid of the consequences of their unhealthy relationship.

Alex enters the DMV and has his first conversation with
Scarlett (INT. DMV – DAY)

Essence: Scarlett and Alex finally talk. Their conversation
is strictly business. She’s not at all suspicious of who he is. He has
her signature, and liquidation can finally begin.
Conflict: emotional – Alex is still struggling with his
relationship to her. Being related to a rival family member feels
traitorous.
Subtext: Alex says it’s “just business.” At this point,
he’s using her to get his inheritance money.
Hope/fear: We hope that the truth will come out. We’re
afraid Alex will keep using her to get at the money.

Roger and Demi play pool, drink to the beginning of
liquidation. Judge Wilson, an old acquaintance of Roger’s, shows up and
lends insight (INT. PUB – NIGHT)

Essence: Roger and Demi discuss the relationship between
the conservator and conservatee. Demi is uninterested. Advises Roger to
stay out. Judge Wilson tells them more about Kitty’s murder.
Conflict: emotional – Roger is struggling with his
interest in the case. For him, it’s personal. He needs to remain professional.

Subtext: Roger knew Kitty years ago. He wants her
murder solved more than Demi and Judge Wilson.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid Roger will let this case take
over. We don’t know what he’s hiding, but we don’t want Demi to find out.

Alex playing an arcade game. He has a drink with Patrick,
Collin, and Darren (INT. ARCADE – NIGHT, INT. PUB – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex crosses paths with some old friends.
Conflict: They want him back. Alex refuses their
offer. They don’t understand how he could do such a thing.
Subtext: Alex is still bitter over Dunbar.
Hope/fear: We fear they will take revenge on Alex for
rejecting their offer. We hope Alex can continue to reject their offers
to have him back.

Alex walks into the DMV and hires Scarlett (INT. DMV –
DAY)

Essence: Alex and Scarlett talk again. He wants her to
work for him.
Conflict: They don’t know each other. Once again, Alex
is using her.
Subtext: Alex hires her out of rebellion. He knows
that Patrick, Collin, and Darren wouldn’t approve.
Hope/fear: We hope they can get to know each other. We’re
afraid of the truth being exposed.

Scarlett has respect for Will and his lawful ways. Alex
gets a confirmation from his first buyer (INT. LOFT – DAY, INT. GARAGE –
DAY)

Essence: Alex is trying to hold his team together. He wants
them to rely on each other.
Conflict: Alex is now the manager. He’s trying to cultivate
team spirit.
Subtext: He’s passed his loan limit. Needs liquidation
to move forward.
Hope/fear: We hope Alex will be successful in his
business endeavors. We fear Scarlett finding out the truth about his
funding source.

Roger questions Fr. Sullivan about Nathanial’s last rites,
and then finally learns the truth about Alex and Scarlett (INT. CEMETERY –
DAY)

Essence: Roger needs his suspicions confirmed. They
are.
Conflict: emotional – Roger v. his past. He can’t believe
what he’s hearing.
Subtext: Roger knows that Alex needs family around him
to be able to “make it.” Scarlett can be that for him – only she doesn’t
know.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid of how Roger will react. We
hope he won’t reveal what he knows in front of Scarlett.

Scarlett oversees delivery of the counterfeiting
materials. She and Alex have their first real chat, and she walks off on
him (INT. BOAT DECK – DAY, EXT. HARBOR SHOPPING STREET – DAY)

Essence: Alex’s first attempt to get to know Scarlett.

Conflict: Alex v. his struggle with Scarlett. He wants
to tell her. He can’t. He wants to know more about her past, but she won’t
talk.
Subtext: Scarlett’s discussion of her “side jobs” interests
Alex – he wants her to stay out of them, but Scarlett won’t. She won’t
take his advice.
Hope/fear: We hope that they’ll connect. We fear Scarlett’s
future in this life.

Patrick arrives, offering to make peace with Alex. He
leaves, threatening him (INT. GARAGE – NIGHT)

Essence: Patrick returns to apologize. Alex doesn’t
accept. Shane is dying. Alex still won’t come back to the South End.
Conflict: Alex and Patrick fight. He’s angry about
Patrick’s disregard for Kitty, and for his own future. He wants to live
his own life.
Subtext: Alex is standing alone. He’s resisting his
old ways, even when a better offer comes along.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid that Patrick will kill Alex.
We’re afraid he’ll find out about Scarlett.

Shane Donovan’s funeral ends, and Saoirse tells Alex’s
old friends to bring him back (INT. CHURCH – DAY)

Essence: Saoirse’s plot for revenge. She won’t take no
for an answer.
Conflict: fight between the old ways and Alex’s new ways.
He wants to stick with his new ways.
Subtext: Saoirse will not take no for an answer –
family comes first.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid of what they will do to Alex.

Roger offers advice to Scarlett. He gives Alex the
first of the liquidated money and leaves (INT. GARAGE – DAY, INT. LOFT –
DAY)

Essence: Scarlett’s eating disorder is getting worse.
Alex is disappointed in the amount of money he’s received.
Conflict: discord between Roger and Scarlett – she doesn’t
want to take his advice either.
Subtext: Roger is trying to help Scarlett too, even
though she has nothing to do with his assignment.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid Roger will reveal the truth.
We hope Scarlett will find out soon.

Alex and Scarlett start their poker game. End in a draw
(EXT. GARAGE – EVENING)

Essence: Scarlett and Alex put their poker skills to
the test.
Conflict: Neither one of them want to say too much.
Alex starts to tell her. Gets interrupted.
Subtext: They’re both excellent card players, and both
hiding a big secret.
Hope/fear: We hope they will “show all their cards.”

Jack, Alex, Shaun, and Scarlett feel some team spirit.
Alex’s old friends set fire to the place (INT. GARAGE – NIGHT, INT. LOFT,
NIGHT, EXT. GARAGE, CONTINUOUS)

Essence: Patrick, Collin, and Darrell burn Alex’s
business to the ground. Will is caught in the crossfire. Shaun and Jack
abandon Alex. Scarlett surprisingly gives him some hope.
Conflict: Alex’s past comes back to harm him. He feels
responsible for his team and for Will’s death.
Subtext: Jack and Shaun suspect that Alex’s past is
responsible. Alex knows, but he can’t tell anyone.
Hope/fear: We hope they all live through the ordeal.
We’re afraid of Alex going back to square one.

Alex at the Walsh casino, from the Blackjack room to
the Roulette table (INT. BLACKJACK ROOM – NIGHT, INT. ROULETTE ROOM –
NIGHT)

Essence: Alex needs to find out who burnt his place
down. He visits the Walsh casino in the North End. Plays blackjack with
some Walshes and then sees a cousin of his at the roulette table.
Conflict: Alex v. the North Enders. Alex v. his own
cousin, who can’t seem to understand that he’s out for good.
Subtext: Alex is pretending to be a newcomer. No one
knows who he is – not even his own cousin.
Hope/fear: we to find out the truth along with Alex.
We’re afraid someone may recognize him.

Scarlett and Joe printing money in unison to doing
drugs and suspecting Alex may not be who he says he is (INT. PENTHOUSE
SUITE – NIGHT)

Essence: Joe wants Scarlett completely in on the next
sale. Scarlett still cares about Alex’s business. Joe doesn’t want her to
go back to Alex.
Conflict: Scarlett v. her old ways – Joe spikes her
drink. He wants them both to stay drunk/high together. Doesn’t want her
to move forward.
Subtext: Scarlett is so close to figuring it out. She
almost does figure it out, but is far too high to remember what they
talked about.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid of what’s coming for Scarlett
and Joe. We’re afraid she’ll find out this way.

Roger arrives to find Alex sorting through the rubble,
he presses Alex, but Alex won’t admit anything to him (EXT. GARAGE RUBBLE –
DAY)

Essence: Roger wants to know more about Jack and Shaun’s
sudden disappearance. He presses Alex for details about the night of the
fire, and Scarlett’s absence. Alex says nothing.
Conflict: Roger v. Alex’s secrecy – there’s discord between
what they’re both letting on.
Subtext: Roger knows about Scarlett. Alex knows about
Jack and Shaun. They talk around the issue and argue over the money.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex gets his money in time to
rebuild. We’re afraid this could be the end of his business and independence.

Forensic scientists uncover the DNA match. Bring
Scarlett in to notify her (INT. FORENSIC LAB – DAY)

Essence: The crime scene DNA analysis gives Alex’s
secret away. Scarlett finds out – in a way that he didn’t want her to.
Conflict: Scarlett v. Alex – she once believed in him,
but now can’t trust him.
Subtext: Scarlett feels lied to. Whatever connection she
had with Alex is gone. She goes back to the old ways, and worse.
Hope/fear: We hope Alex will find out soon. We’re
afraid of what may happen in their next conversation.

Scarlett cooking cocaine, drinking at a bar, and waking
up the next morning to find Roger on her doorstep, trying to help. She
rejects it (INT. CLUB – NIGHT, EXT. BACKYARD – DAY)

Essence: Scarlett has suffered a complete loss of
identity. She’s broken, on the inside and out. Roger tries to help her
see that it’s not the end, but he accidentally gives away the truth behind
Alex’s funding source. She’s only more horrified.
Conflict: Scarlett v. her past, her present “job,” and
her future within the Brennan and Caden circles. She knows she’s an
illegitimate child.
Subtext: Everything Scarlett believed about herself was
wrong, and she can’t handle it. She pushes Roger away, even though he’s
trying to help.
Hope/fear: We’re hoping Alex will do the right thing –
talk to Scarlett. We’re afraid of her next step since she’s acting
irrationally.

Alex moves into his new office space and revisits Riverside
to see Jack and Shaun return (INT. GARAGE OFFICE – DAY, EXT. PRISON
COURTYARD – DAY)

Essence: Jack and Shaun were caught trying to escape
(the oppression). Alex watches them return. Roger finally confronts him
about Scarlett. They have their most honest conversation yet.
Conflict: Alex v. his past – he’s seeing Riverside in
a whole new light. He can never return after what he’s been through. Roger
forces Alex to admit the truth.
Subtext: Alex wants Scarlett by his side but is unsure
of how to move forward. He and Roger discuss family and its challenges.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex will stay out forever. We
fear him becoming like Jack and Shaun – we know he won’t get a second
chance.

Alex arrives to apologize to Scarlett and finds out that
Roger told her about the conservatorship. She shakes his faith in himself,
and he leaves, dejected (INT. FOYER – NIGHT, INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex wants to make peace with Scarlett. She blames
him for Will’s death. Reveals that she knows about the conservatorship. Feels
used by him. Tells him that she wants him out of her life.
Conflict: Alex v. Scarlett – they’re both forced to
confront the truth. Alex is struggling to talk. She feels lied to. They’re
both hurt by the past and wounded.
Subtext: the family politics are alive and well. Alex
thinks he’s free of them, but Scarlett reminds him time and time again
that he’s a Donovan. He tries to talk her out of carrying on in the
family business because he knows where it leads.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex can apologize to her and
they can move forward. We’re afraid what he will do after she rejects his
weak apology.

Alex walks into a junkyard and finds a syringe. He uses
for the first time since rehab, slipping back to his old ways (EXT.
JUNKYARD – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex has completely lost hope after Scarlett
tells him to go back to the South End. He tries to resist the urge to
use, but he has no other way to numb the pain. He “lets her go.”
Conflict: emotional – Alex has become emotionally
invested in Scarlett and her well-being. Her rejection of him is
devastating.
Subtext: Alex realizes how much she meant to him – she
helped him get through rehab, stay out of trouble, and keep moving
forward with the business. Now that she’s “gone,” he has no reason to go
on.
Hope/fear: we’re afraid Alex will go back
to prison – one of his conditions was staying clean.

Demi and Roger pack Will’s office. Demi leaves, angered
by the city and all the unnecessary destruction caused by the family
dynasties (INT. WILL’S OFFICE – DAY)

Essence: Demi is leaving Boston. She’s fed up with him
and everything that’s happened. Roger tries to encourage her, but she
doesn’t want to hear it from him.
Conflict: discord – Roger believes there’s still hope
for the city. Demi disagrees.
Subtext: Roger was once part of the problem. She knows
it, and blames him for everything, even Will’s death.
Hope/fear: We hope that the unnecessary destruction
stops. We’re afraid people like Demi will continue to be discouraged.

Sequence of Alex and Scarlett going back to their families
and ready to take up their positions as leaders. They both make some confessions,
bargain, and blackmail to gain control of the next sale (INT. PUB BACK
ROOM, INT. RICHARD’S BASEMENT)

Essence: Alex feels his work is in vain. He returns to
the South End to see his old friends and take control of the next sale.
Scarlett goes to talk to Richard, ready to take control of their role in
the sale.
Conflict: the past – there’s history for these
families. They’re both mistrustful of Alex and Scarlett’s motives.
Subtext: Both parties offer to take Alex and Scarlett
back. They have a hidden motivation to ruin/kill them.
Hope/fear: We fear Alex and Scarlett slipping back to
their old ways. We’re hoping that they don’t go back to prison after
their dealings.

Alex sells the cars to his buyer and calls Roger,
telling him he can leave (EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – DAY, INT. GARAGE OFFICE –
NIGHT)

Essence: Alex has fulfilled all the terms of his release.
He wants Roger to go so that he can return to the South End without disappointing
him.
Conflict: Alex v. his new ways – Alex completes the
job and does something honest. It’s a new feeling for him. He’s
struggling with that feeling of fulfillment.
Subtext: Alex wants Roger to leave. Tells him he’s
been away from his family for too long – Alex feels the same way. He
feels he must go back to the Donovans.
Hope/fear: We hope that Roger will stop Alex. We fear
Alex being trapped by his old ways and old friends.

Alex is nearly shot by members of the Caden and Brennan
family. He sees Scarlett and knows she was in on it. He runs out of the office
to meet the cocaine dealer (INT. GARAGE OFFICE – NIGHT, EXT. GARAGE OFFICE
– NIGHT)

Essence: Alex is now a target for both sides. He flees
to meet the dealer and be the first one to buy the cocaine.
Conflict: Alex v. the North End. They’re trying to kill
him and he’s forced to run.
Subtext: Scarlett was behind the plot. Alex doesn’t
know what she ordered.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid for Alex’s life. We hope he
makes it to the dealer first.

Scarlett confronts Richard over trying to kill Alex. He
tries to kill her (INT. RICHARD’S BASEMENT – NIGHT)

Essence: Scarlett is furious with Richard for not
following her orders. He and Joe turn on her, confirming Alex’s worst
fears. They wound her and leave her to die.
Conflict: Scarlett v. her own people – the people that
she’s trusted and worked with all her life have now betrayed her.
Subtext: Alex was right. She couldn’t depend on them
because the relationship was purely mercenary.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex is still alive. We’re
afraid that they will kill Scarlett.

Alex meets with the dealer to discuss the sale. The
dealer recalls Dunbar, giving Alex a new outlook on his old self (INT.
RIVERBOAT – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex is ready to sell to the dealer. The dealer
tells him about a “man who went to prison for his family” the night
before Dunbar. How he was forgotten and died in prison. Alex knows he’s
talking about him.
Conflict: Alex v. his old self – he’s finally on the inside
looking out.
Subtext: the dealer is speaking of Alex’s old self.
Alex knows that his old ways “died” when he was in prison.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex is convinced that he can’t
continue this way. We’re afraid that he’ll go through with the deal.

Roger arrives in Richard’s basement. He finds Scarlett
close to death and saves her (INT. RICHARD’S BASEMENT – NIGHT)

Essence: Roger finds the basement. He finds Scarlett
about to bleed to death. He saves her.
Conflict: Roger v. his past – we are starting to
wonder why he went after Scarlett.
Subtext: The scene is all too familiar to Roger. We
are about to find out why.
Hope/fear: We hope that Roger can get to Alex in time.
We’re afraid Scarlett may not survive her injuries.

Roger finds Alex in the safehouse. He reveals that he is
from the North End and left many years ago (INT. SAFEHOUSE – NIGHT)

Essence: Roger confronts Alex about buying the cocaine.
He’s disappointed, and realizes that the only way he can change Alex’s mind
about the family dynasties is telling him the truth about his own past.
Conflict: Alex v. Roger – Roger has changed. He wants
Alex to do the same.
Subtext: This whole time, Roger knew everything about
the family politics Alex described. He’s helped.
Hope/fear: We are hopeful for Alex’s future. If Roger
has changed, Alex can too.

Alex finally returns to the South End Casino for the first
time in over twenty years. Both sides are there. Alex confronts them about
their feud (INT. CASINO – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex reunites with old friends and enemies.
Finally comes face to face with Richard. Acknowledges Scarlett as his daughter
in front of the whole group. Walks out without killing anyone.
Conflict: the family feud. Finally being called into
question.
Subtext: Everything is brought up. The details of
Kitty’s death are finally revealed.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid of Alex getting killed. We
hope he can confront them and leave, unscathed.

Alex arrives at the hospital to wait for Scarlett to
wake up. She does, and they are finally at peace. (INT. HOSPITAL ROOM –
NIGHT)

Essence: Alex is the only one there when Scarlett is
in a coma. He speaks to her about his choices, his regrets, and his hopes
for her future. The scene ends on a hopeful and uplifting note.
Conflict: Alex finally denounces his past and
apologizes.
Subtext: Alex’s cards are on the table. He admits his
regrets. Tells her he wants to do better, for good. He will embrace his
new ways for good.
Hope/fear: We’re hopeful for their future.