Day 9 Assignments

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

Emmanuel Sullivan Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is character description can have intrigue and I never thought about it that way. I used to think a character’s description should only include their physical features and background.

I revised the pilot and changed a minor character having an affair to one of the main characters. In this episode, I also moved a shocking event to the main character.

I tightened up the concept, world, show summary, character descriptions, and a few episodes. Actually, replaced one of the episodes out of the eight because the overall theme is not as engaging as the previous episodes.

[Daniel Melin]

Daniel Melin Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is the value of partial information. It’s always a balancing act figuring out what to reveal and what to hold back. Learning to make even the reveals just another form of intrigue was challenging, but it’s gratifying to see how much of the work has already been done beforehand by loading everything with intrigue from the beginning and just continuing to improve what you have.

Mostly what I did was just make sure that the whole bible matches the changes that I made to the main characters and some of the main events that I changed for specific episodes. This exercise also made me make sure to actually polish up one of the more basic parts of the story, which was emphasizing the proactive nature of my hero, which then helps greatly with the set-ups that draw the reader into the story.

[David]

David Stam presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned from this assignment. This was by far the most productive exercise to nail down character and thematic storylines throughout the first season. Instead of writing a synopsis of the inciting incident, I tasked myself with developing a summary for the whole season. This made me really determine where all 4 characters were going in the storyline and how to hang intrigue and open loops around them during the episodes. I fell behind in some of the assignments but feel much more satisfied with where my pitch bible is going.

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown presents non stop intrigue

What I learned fro this assignment is that it’s really hard to be concise and not try to tell the whole story. I ended up deleting whole sentences that were there as exposition. I was trying to make sure the reader got the point of why I am telling him an intriguing bit. Delete Delete Delete. Who cares. It just needs to intrigue them. 🙂

[Sherri Coffee]

Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 9 Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

I was able to elevate the concept, world, and characters. What I learned is to continue to use the tools to make my story BW.

[Barbara Gilmore]

So I reworked Assignment 8 and tried to make it more interesting…what I learned from doing this is that interesting characters are key…and I’ll continue to revisit my framework..

A. Jess Pearson is an ex-big city senior detective sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith, in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation.

B. Jess believes that Sherriff Linda Moore botched the investigation of her brother’s disappearance in similar circumstances five years before and is determined to solve both cases with or without the Sheriff’s help.

C. As Jess reads file after file hidden away in the basement, she begins to realize that Green Lake is not the sleepy town she thought it was. Crime rates are high, yet the reported statistics seem low. Jess starts searching the office and discovers Sheriff Moore’s little black book of actual crime statistics, now she suspects that the Sheriff is corrupt.

D. Against her better judgement, Jess decides to use her secret hacking skills and soon uncovers a Trafficking Network and the Sheriff’s involvement and as she digs deeper, she suspects that her boss, Captain Anderson is also involved.

E. What she’s discovered so far seems unreal. She decides to call on Sarah Watson, a local architect and artist, her ex-best friend and lover, for advice.

F. Jess finds Sarah unusually friendly and helpful despite the fact that she’s not seen Jess for five years and they did not part on good terms.

G. Sarah Watson is on mission to green Green Lake and wants Jess to join her journey. But Sarah is a big distraction for Jess who must quickly refocus her efforts on solving both cases.

H. When Sheriff declares that Nick Milburn, who is dating Sarah, and who called in the murders, is their prime suspect, Jess begins to question Sarah’s motives and whether Nick is the fall guy.

I. Jess’ resolve is tested as she strives to solve both cases quickly, find her brother alive, avoid being sucked into Sarah’s world, while cleaning up Sheriff Moore’s small, but powerful office as the Sheriff in waiting of Green Lake.

[Donna Stockwell]

Donna Stockwell Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is it is a good exercise to insert intriguing foreshadowing scenes into the script. While rewriting the character to give more intrigue into her life, both past and current, I developed another layer of the main plot, and a few more layers of subplot.
I rewrote the character of Ben’s boss to help solve the cases of the missing girls, due to her past association with them.

[Norene Smiley]

NORENE SMILEY – MODULE 2, LESSON ASSIGNMENT 9 – NON-STOP INTRIGUE

What I learned from this assignment: I cannot stop the digging deeper into the story part.. On-going, all the time. Which is great. Lots more layers and ways to engage more with the characters and new ways to delve into their relationships. I realize I am two months behind in the schedule for this course but I am trying not to worry about it. It will make the writing better in the end.

Some changes I made to the Pitch Bible:

• set up – considered the idea of using eternity chronometer (chaos-charged device) that is put in Pip’s care at the time of the machine’s attack on the Keep

set up – using environmental issues as in how humans had depleted resources and created a wasteland out side the city states. payoff – the chaos is a way for nature to reclaim world
set up – repositioned Fidget from fumbling sidekick to key figure in helping Pip control the chaos
set up – reconsidered the relationship between Bardo and Pip for more intrigue as to his original motives in giving her a mechanical heart
set up – looking deeper into Toodie’s role as waif who is used to entice children to the Institute, betray allies. Pay off – Pip has moral dilemma to sacrifice her
used the Intrigue patterns to heighten the tension and interest throughout the Bible
tried to up the stakes wherever possible
set up – more mystery around Agrippa Chafe and her past relationship with the Regulator. pay off – more 3-D character building and possible empathy for the villain
tried to intensify the language used throughout
revised to have stronger cause and effect re characters’ actions
set up – Bardo acting strangely. Pay off – forced to reveal Pip’s part in the Chaos that is about to descend – but is he telling her everything? Or is he declining?
reworked to parallel Pip’s story with that of the arc of the Chaos
laid in more Open Loops and mysteries