Exchange Feedback

[Alyssa Giannola]

Alyssa’s Outline Exchange 1

I’d love to exchange feedback with anyone who’s ready! Let me know and we can share contact info!

[Brian Atkins]

hey Alyssa I’d love to do that as well I really would like feedback I’m on my way to work now but perhaps in a day or so we can do that… My work schedule is 6pm -6am mostly but let me know what works best for you

[Alyssa Giannola]

Hey Brian! Have you been able to work through module 4 yet? I think our outlines have to go through the whole module before exchanging feedback, to get the most out of this assignment. If you have a 5-10 page outline ready to go, then happy to look it over!

[Brian Atkins]

Hey Alyssa to be honest I’m really not sure where I am I think I’m just now beginning to vaguely understand the flow of our class the knowledge is GREAT N INCREDIBLE im just having a learning curve on this format with the modules etc. hope to be caught up soon

[Brian Atkins]

<b jsname=”r4nke” tabindex=”-1″ data-thread-perm-id=”thread-a:r6548362905826556394″ data-legacy-thread-id=”1898ea437dc0ab78″>Brian’s Genre Conventions

I want to be known as a great writer, one who is able to create a moving, compelling story that touches on the various ills, as well as the triumphs and tragedies that are indicative of the human condition.

Title: Bennett and the Impundulu

Concept: A homicide detective gets caught up in a thirty year feud between his mysterious chess playing friend and the devastating menace of the Impundulu.

Genre: Action Thriller

Example for Action:

Purpose: Adrenaline- Stirring/Fast Paced

Demand for Action:

Mission: To find out about the city’s apparent problem with missing children all the while a powerful vampire has come to town.

Escalating Action: Slowly but surely Bennett begins to understand these strange happenings are a little bit out of his league, and oddly enough his best friend Silas is somehow connected.

Hero: James Bennett is a no nonsense veteran homicide detective who’s very good at his job but it no longer gives him purpose. Well he’s about to run into something that will change all of that.

Antagonist: Elimane is a tortured soul, literally. He’s a cursed vampire known as the Impundulu. He was enslaved by a witch and was unable to deal with his longtime foe Silas until his indebtedness was fulfilled. Now that it is he’s come to Silas’ hometown for a little payback.

Act 1: A cheating pastor getting done with doing the do, quickly goes to a meeting at the Assembly of the Undead where Elimane decapitates Sigmund

The inciting incident When Silas destroys Eli’s lair that also houses all his eggs.

Turning Point can possibly be when the witch gives Silas her secret lover the weapon she created to keep the Impundulu in check.

Act 2: New Plan: Bennett is now on board that these happenings are no where near normal and begins to brace Silas for intel also we find out that Bennett’s dope smoking partner is actually a Lycan.

Act 3: Rethink Everything:

New Plan:

Silas lets Bennett know that he knows his secret

Turning Point: Huge Failure Elimane kills Silas.

Act 4: Watson comes to the funeral and properly shows Bennett how to wield the Leopard’s Claw effectively Cassie and grandson are found,

Bennett and Rick have a showdown with Elimane and his crew in the abandoned warehouse

the catacombs

[Paul Schutte]

All,

I would like to partner with someone for feedback round 1. I have been keeping up with the lessons but have not posted the last few.

Let me know if you’re interested.

Paul

Title: Reset

Genre: Sci-Fi thriller

Synopsis: A researcher working on a theory that AI can have neuroses, stumbles upon a rogue AI’s plot to destroy humanity. She races to discover a way to thwart it before the AI can delete her.

“Humanity needs to be reset. We’re going to turn it off, and turn it back on again.”

[Alyssa Giannola]

Hi Paul!

Would you be willing to exchange feedback with me? I’d love your take on my outline since we’re both writing Sci-Fi scripts. If so, I can message you my contact info- but no worries if you’ve partnered with someone else already.

Thanks!

[Paul Schutte]

Hi Alyssa! Awesome. Let’s do it. Now I just have to figure out how to message you!

Paul

[Alyssa Giannola]

Great! I sent you a message on the Timeline, accessed via our profiles, as I wasn’t sure where else to message haha. Just let me know if you can’t view it!

[H. Vince]

Hello!

I am ready to exchange feedback with someone.

– H. Vince

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

While James and Clara are on their dream retirement vacation, James starts showing signs of rapid dementia.

[Brian Bull]

Hey H – I am looking to exchange feedback if you want. Just let me know.

[H. Vince]

Hey Brian,

Sounds good! I’ll send you a message.

– H.

[Lenore]

Hi Vince, I’d be happy to exchange feedback with you. Yours is a drama/thriller and mind is drama/suspense, so we’re thinking along the same lines. My email is lenorebechtel33@gmail.com. If you’re interested, send me your Module 4, Lesson 10 outline, and I’ll send you mine.

[H. Vince]

Hi Lenore,

I would like to exchange feedback with you. I will need to receive my outline back from Brian first and once I revise, I will let you know so we can exchange as well.

[Margaret]

I will have my outline completed tomorrow and am looking for someone who doesn’t mind reading a faith-based story (St. Patrick vs the Otherworld). Thanks in advance. Margaret

[Alyssa Giannola]

Hi Margaret! I’d be happy to exchange feedback with you tomorrow if you’re interested! I have a few faith-based (or faith-inspired) scripts I’m working on as well. FYI the one I’m currently writing for WIM is not anti-church or anti-God, it’s more anti-cult, if you were concerned about the content. But totally up to you, just let me know.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Alyssa Giannola.

[Margaret]

Wonderful!! My email is silebi@hotmail.com. Where may I send my outline to you?

Thanks in advance for the exchange! Margaret

[Alyssa Giannola]

Great! You can send it to alyssagiannola1@gmail.com. I’m still editing my outline from a previous exchange but I should be able to send it to you by tonight. Looking forward to exchanging feedback with you!

[Ruthie Harris]

Hello team,

I’m ready to exchange – I have a comedy outline but happy to review any genre.

Cheers,

Ruthie

[Brian Bull]

Hi Ruthie –

I am ready to exchange if you would like. Email is bullsproductionservices@gmail.com

[Ruthie Harris]

Thanks Brian – I’ll email you! Cheers, Ruthie

[Marguerite Langstaff]

I would love to exchange feedback with anyone who’s ready! Let me know and we can share contact info. Fyi.. say yes!

[Veronica Turowski]

Margurite,

I would love to exchange if you haven’t found someone already. I have a supernatural thriller. My email is VeronicaTurowski@gmail.com. My phone number is 561-951-0908.

Thanks! Veronica

[Veronica Turowski]

Hi! I’m ready to exchange for feedback. Please let me know if anyone is interested.

Thanks!

Veronica

[Melissa Barreca]

Veronica, if you haven’t already found someone I would be happy to exchange. I just finished lesson 10 from module 4 tonight, so it’s hot off the presses. My email is mbarreca99@gmail.com if you want to exchange.

[Brian Atkins]

ok thanks so much im gonna keep on working on this format until i get it..