Introduce yourself to the Group

[Carol Paur]

1. Name: Carol L. Paur

2. How many scripts you’ve written? (30 plus)

3. What you hope to get out of the class? I am starting a script inspired by a WWII book and hope this class inspires me to get it written. I am trying to contact the author but so far have had no luck.

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I’m a published children’s author who recently signed a contract for another book.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott

Hoping to learn action writing

[David Halligan]

Hello. My name is Dave Halligan
I’ve completed 6 scripts. I hope the next will be lucky number 7.
I’d really like to improve and escalate my storytelling.
While retired from a business career, I enjoy my part-time job selling ice cream at PPG Arena in Pittsburgh.

[Mary Goldman]

Hi Fellow Writers,

I’m Mary Goldman. I’ve written 5 feature length scripts and a number of short scripts. I hope to learn new action writing techniques. I’ve just finished the first draft of my 5th script, a suspense-thriller, which I expanded from a 30 pg. short, so hoping to elevate the action.

Something unique about me: just started volunteer teaching a Zumba/Fitness class at a local homeless shelter where there are many refugees.

[Lois Wickstrom]

Name? Lois Wickstrom

2. How many scripts you’ve written? at least twelve

3. What you hope to get out of the class? how to write more effective / exciting action scenes

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I have a dog who can talk almost anyone into petting her or giving her a munchy.

[Alyssa Giannola]

Hi everyone! My name is Alyssa Giannola and I’ve written 3 feature scripts so far. I’m a big fan of action movies and I have a few action concepts that I’d love to elevate, so I’m excited about what we will learn in this class. Something unique: I just started writing my first fantasy novel!

[David Mercuri]

Hi all! I’m Dave Mercuri, I’ve completed 3 feature-length scripts and 4 shorts.

I’m here for a few reasons- I do want to develop an action script I have, as it is not my usual genre, but more than that I want to connect to other writers and get out of the vacuum that most writers tend to be in!

Something unique about me- my day job is engineering and compliance… sorry, they asked for something unique, not ‘interesting’ 🙂

[Timothy Barley]

Good morning, everyone!

1. Tim Barley

2. Seven screenplays (3 since started in with Hal’s classes) and four pilots (also since joining here in 2022)

3. After taking the thrillers class, I realized that my thriller is actually more of an action idea (as were the other concepts I didn’t choose for the class), so I’m marrying up the two.

4. I dive Uber for fun (and a very well funded travel account), and am a 8 handicap on the course.

[Carmen Radtke]

Hi, I’m Carmen Radtke, ex-journalist, novelist, and so far the author of half a dozen screenplays. I’ve won the mystery/crime genre category of Emerging Screenwriters 2021 with a tv pilot.

I’ve already done the thriller class with Hal and now want to hone in on my action writing skills. Action comedy and action thrillers always make it into my top watches, so I can’t wait to learn as much as I can.

[Elina Feliu]

Elina Feliu (pronounced: E Lee Nah Fell u)

I’ve written outlines and drafts, but this present endeavor is a more serious attempt to write a spooky children’s tale. I wanted it to be a Halloween story, but I think the better objective is to just write a spooky children’s tale that can be read and appreciated throughout the year.

[John Puffer]

Good day classmates,

John Puffer

Seven scripts

I want to enhance my skills in the action genre

I’m obsessed with homonyms and heteronyms, and considering therapy

[audrey jacobs]

Hi from Audrey Jacobs, member since the early subtext class.

Number of scripts, and different versions (movie, limited location, binge worthy and works that could use more excitement and audience involvement varies between 7 and 12.). Dramedy, Rom-Com, Horror, thriller.

Ways to add inspiration with authentic action rather than mere tips to my drama of my honoring my husband of 60 years 1930-1918 with respectful action thru humor and understanding mindset.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with a-fib heart failure and accept the challenge to move ahead and complete my recent work, and inspire others.

[Paulo Duarte]

Paulo Duarte
<div>
</div><div>I write One script.</div><div>
</div><div>I hope to learn a Nice workflow to write more scripts.</div><div>
</div><div>I’m affraid of frogs… We can say frogphobia ;)</div>

[Geoff Gwillim]

Geoff Gwillim

How many scripts? Two complete, a number of others incompleted

Aim to learn to write action scripts

I have toenails more than 18″ long … just kidding 😉

[Raz Ray]

1). Hi, my name is Les Ray or Raz.

2). I’ve written about seven scripts.

3). I’m hoping to learn how to visually see the action in my head and write it better on paper.

4). I’ve created my own comic book series.

[Hiram Watkins]

Hiram Watkins

I have over 10 features written to date.

Something unique about me: I passed an English class with a story about a sword.

[Lyn Embree]

Hi Everyone,

I’m happy to be joining you. My name is Lyn. I have not completed a script yet, though I’ve been working on several ideas, notes, and research for a shamefully long time. I’ve loved action films since I was a kid and I’m looking forward to learning not only the nuts and bolts, but a few special details about what makes an outstanding action script.

I am convinced that when I was 19 and visiting Florence, Italy for the first time that I saw a portrait of myself from a past life in the Uffizi Gallery. I am now on a mission to become as Italian as I can in this life and move there permanently.

[Eric Humble]

Hi everyone. My name is Eric Humble. I’ve written about seven scripts. In this class, I hope to get a working understanding of the action conventions and a process that will allow me to write in this genre quickly so that I’ll be able to create on demand in a professional environment. In addition to writing, I’m trying my hand at illustrating my first graphic novel at the moment.

I can’t wait to learn alongside everyone!

[Jean Knowlton]

1. Name Jean

2. I finished one script and have a bunch of started scripts.

3. I hope to start, write, finish, really finish a screenplay without getting sick of the whole thing. Not just endlessly revise and still not get it where I wanted it to be. Like, the one script I finished hit all the first-timer mistakes, a period piece about Lotta Crabtree, and by the time I finished, I realized she wasn’t nearly as interesting as Lola Montez, but she was more loveable. I did a lot of research in San Francisco, and probably picked up more information than could be used in a screenplay. She loved animals, and in her old age, she went around putting hats on horses left out in the sun in Boston. I loved that the gift she gave to San Francisco was a fountain intending to provide water to the public, horses and dogs. So I was fascinated by her, but my screenplay didn’t seem to do her justice.

4. I started writing at age 9, and was a big hit in the grade school classroom when I stuck to comedy. I hit my 20s as the civil rights movement was at its peak and I questioned everything, and basically still do now in my 70s.

[David Halligan]

Twenty people in class. Four of us in the forum.
Where did everybody go?
Dave, Pgh.

[Jean Knowlton]

I ran into some trouble posting assignments. I wasn’t able to upload the third one. Then one of my kitties died unexpectedly and I went into a funk, so now I still need to get back on the horse, I guess, and even if I can’t post them, do them until I’m caught up.

[David Halligan]

Sorry to read about your loss.
I hope you can carry on.
Dave, Pgh.

[Raz Ray]

Lesson 8 Assignment.

Raz Ray: Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified.

<font face=”inherit”> What I learned from doing this assignment? I knew that </font>it’s<font face=”inherit”> </font>essential<font face=”inherit”> that you build up enough backstory so that the audience cares about your </font>character, or<font face=”inherit”> at least they can relate to them. You have to give your Hero </font>powerful<font face=”inherit”> </font>emotions<font face=”inherit”> initially</font><font face=”inherit”> to feed off of. Feelings that make them want to fight back. </font>

Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified for your Hero.

LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY

• A. Other people like or respect the character.: The Hero is a baby left on the doorsteps of a Geisha house and taken in by the owner.
• B. The character shows love for something: The Hero is intrigued by the lifestyle of being a sought-after woman respected by her looks.
• C. They’re trying to do something good: She wants to be accepted by a Wealthy man to start a family of her own.
• D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else: She stays loyal to the house. She’s very talented and can make the house a lot of money. She keeps secrets and would never harm anyone.
• E. Funny, humorous, witty: She doesn’t make a lot of jokes.
• F. Kindness: She is kind to everyone she meets.
• G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side: She listens to orders, even though she doesn’t necessarily agree. She’s submissive and subservient.

EMPATHY / DISTRESS

• A. Undeserved misfortune: She is purchased by a wealthy, ruthless man.
• B. External Character Conflicts: She doesn’t want to be the wife of this man.
• C. Plot intruding on life: The Man she wanted all along to purchase her at the ceremony has now kidnapped her, taking her away from the Wealthy Businessman.
• D. Moral dilemmas: She was sold to a wealthy man but really doesn’t want to be with him.
• E. Forced decisions they’d never make: Instead of staying with the wealthy man, she flees with her unknown kidnapper instead.
• F. Wound attacked: The Motherly figure who took the hero from a baby dies a tragic death by the Wealthy Businessman.

JUSTIFICATION

• A. The character or their family abused: The Wealthy man has been searching for her since she was a baby. The wealthy man is set on killing her entire bloodline.
• B. Threatened by others: The wealthy businessman uses all his resources to find this Geisha. The Kidnapper is also threatening her to run away with him.
• C. The Hero is the victim of attacks: The Geisha’s caregiver and mentor is killed by a wealthy businessman.
• D. They’ve suffered major losses. The hero now has nowhere to go. She has to follow the kidnapper.
• E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed: The Villains break into the monastery and fight the Geisha and the Kidnapper. The Goons die tragically as the Geisha and the Kidnapper escape.

<hr>

[Lena Clyne]

I’m Lena Clyne

I have written ten fifteen scripts (who counts) of which 3-4 has been made in my previous home country Sweden. Now I live in Italy. None of the scripts have been “action”, this is a completely new thing for me.

I hope to get the incentive and ideas to finish my first draft of a story.

The reason I’m here is that I got a sudden crush on Korean action mix-genre movies and want to try out this for me new genre. I hear what Hal says about keeping to the genre but I love mix-genre movies and above all serials.

There is nothing really unusual about me.

[Jean Knowlton]

Abandoning my first idea, since it’s more a spiritually-based screenplay than action adventure. Here’s my new project

OUTLINE:

Title: Taking Out the Trash
Act 1: The Unraveling
Opening Scene:
• Video Montage: Clips of Trump, Vance, Musk, Abbott, DeSantis, Alito, Kavanaugh, and Thomas being arrested by the F.B.I. The video shows jubilant reactions from the public and employees.
• NEWSCASTER (BLAKE SIMONS): Announces the arrests and the charges of treason, fraud, and election interference. Mentions the involvement of Jack Smith and the F.B.I. in uncovering the plot.
Inciting Incident:
• Blake Simons rushes to the newsroom, where he discusses the shocking news with Laura Kline. They speculate on the potential fallout and the possibility of martial law being declared.
Setting the Stakes:
• The newsroom is abuzz with activity as they try to get more information from White House sources. The tension is palpable as they anticipate violent protests from Trump supporters.
Act 2: The Investigation
Building the Tension:
• Paul, a journalist in Russia, reports on Putin’s explosive reaction to the news. The Department of State arranges for journalists to leave Russia, but Paul is reluctant to go. Laura convinces him to leave for his safety.
• The International Court charges Putin with war crimes, espionage, and the murder of Navalny. This adds an international dimension to the unfolding drama.
Midpoint:
• A whistleblower reveals that Trump had Ivana killed because her NDA was expiring and she planned to write a book. An editor has her first draft, which details Trump’s threats and the suspicious circumstances of her death. In the book, Ivana reveals the location of a secret camera that captured what happened the day she died.
Crisis:
• The newsroom receives a tip about the involvement of organized crime in the plot to take over the Republican party. The F.B.I. refers to this group as MAGA, adding another layer of complexity to the investigation.
Act 3: The Fallout
Climax:
• President Biden addresses the nation, declaring martial law to restore order and ensure the integrity of the election process. Violent protests erupt, but the F.B.I. and National Guard work to maintain control.
• The hand recounts of ballots in swing states reveal the extent of the cyber attacks and election interference. The arrested individuals face trial, and the evidence against them is overwhelming.
Resolution:
• Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are inaugurated as President and Vice President, respectively. The Democratic house and senate take office, and the nation begins to heal from the turmoil.
• Blake and Laura reflect on the events, acknowledging the importance of journalism in uncovering the truth and holding those in power accountable.
Key Characters:
• Blake Simons: A dedicated newscaster who breaks the story of the arrests and navigates the chaos that follows.
• Laura Kline: An experienced journalist who provides insight and guidance to Blake and the newsroom.
• Paul Marshall: A journalist in Russia who reports on Putin’s reaction and faces danger as he tries to leave the country.
• President Biden: The current president who declares martial law to restore order and ensure the integrity of the election process.
• Kamala Harris: The Vice President who is inaugurated as President after the arrests and recounts.
• Tim Walz: The new Vice President who takes office alongside Kamala Harris.
Themes:
• The importance of truth and accountability in journalism
• The resilience of democracy in the face of corruption and interference
• The power of unity and healing after a period of turmoil