Lesson 1

[Kristina Zill]

KZ’s STRUCTURE SOLUTIONS!

Vision: To master screenwriting so that I can turn my ideas into scripts that sell, and to master working with producers so that I can get those movies made

What I learned from doing this assignment is to identify problems in the first draft and figure out how to solve them using the Problem/Solution Grid.

Changes to the script:

I may add a prologue, so that the sudden jump to the Train to Nirvana fits with the rest of the action.

I got rid of two scenes:

1) we see Wendy negotiating for something trivial as though her life depended on it… better revealed in a more important scene.

2) she gets fired by her therapist. I decided instead to have the aftermath: she confides to her dental hygienist. The fact that she was fired is referred to, possibly as a running gag.

I added a few short scenes where Wendy, who had turned her boss and his wife into surrogate parents, is displaced by the return to town of their biological daughter. The daughter’s upcoming wedding at a Justice of the Peace gives the impetus for the boss sending Wendy off to the negotiation conference.

I got rid of one meditation scene, and turned the second meditation scene into an emotional moment, where a loving-kindness meditation actually gets to Wendy and she starts her process of change.

I gave Wendy an assistant, David, who I turned into a spy for the other side… but I’ll probably change his name so that his name doesn’t start with D.

I changed the final scene so that Wendy and Darwin once again play strip poker.

[Paul McGregor]

Paul’s Structure Solutions.

4. Vision of success from this program: I want to write scripts that become movies that change people’s lives.

7. What I learned from this assignment was how it really helped me identify weakness in my Structure. Also, by asking these structural questions I also found some solutions to basic problems with the story line. Furthermore, it helped me identify and include dramatic elements that did not exist in my Draft 1. A truly excellent exercise!

5. Changes to script (I’ve used the Structure Questions to indicate where these come:

Act 1.

Opening scene: CHANGE. To make it a stronger opening I now open with the attack on the fentanyl lab in Culiacán and the shooting death of the old man. My previous opening scene, with my protagonist, Lilia, doing her day job and discovering the DEA agent, comes after that scene.

Inciting incident: NO CHANGE. Death of Lilia’s daughter, Marisol.

Turning point: NO CHANGE. Abduction of Marisol’s killer, Hank. No change.

Act 2.

New plan: NO CHANGE. Make Hank suffer for death of Marisol before executing him.

Plan in action: NO CHANGE. Lilia decides to make it a learning experience for young people like Hank back in the US by filming his experience and posting it on social media.

Midpoint Turning Point: CHANGE. Hank’s father, the Senator arrives in Culiacán. The reveal here is that he used to be a DEA agent and was posted to Culiacán.

Act 3.

React/Rethink: CHANGE. Use Hank as a hostage to get his father to make public disavowal of the earlier statement that Marisol died from cocaine she had brought to the party.

Turning point: CHANGE. It is now that Lilia discovers that the Senator is her former lover whose real identity was revealed to the Cartel by her father, Tino. But she never knew who denounced him and forced him to leave without leaving a forwarding address. He is therefore Marisol’s father! She has to totally re-think her goal and strategy.

Act 4.

Climax/Ultimate Conflict: NO CHANGE. Lilia now tries to protect Senator from the Cartel, but now a DEA agent also working freelance for the Cartel, betrays his former colleague. Lilia gets killed. The Senator and son Hank escape.

Resolution: CHANGE: Senator and son escape back to US but with a new, anti-drug war message. The DEA agent who betrayed him and his Cartel friends continue as before.

New ways: NO CHANGE: Throughout Act 4 Lilia demonstrates a new fearlessness, contempt for authority and determination to show up the drug war for what it is – a war with that kills the wrong people.

8. Beat sheet. The changes to the Beat Sheet are ongoing.

END.