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Lesson 1
Reply to post your assignment.
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61 Replies
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Yanni Finds the Essence
What I learned is that the search for the essence in a profound movie reveals all those places in the script that are the most essential building blocks of the entire movie’s essence. Also, very importantly, a lot of the essence in this script in particular is made almost explicit in the writing itself, i.e. the Daniels often use a combination of Action Description and Dialogue to state the essence clearly and not very subtly.
Script I choose: Everything Everywhere All At Once
Scene 1 Location: Early in First Act
Logline: Joy introduces her girlfriend Becky to Gong Gong, her grandfather, while her mom, Evelyn, covers up the fact that Becky is her girlfriend.
Essence: Evelyn is uncomfortable with the fact that her daughter is queer and Joy is disappointed that her mom hides her sexuality.Scene 2 Location: Late in Third act
Logline: Evelyn finally stands up to her father and introduces Becky as Joy’s girlfriend.
Essence: Evelyn refuses to treat her daughter the way her father treats her.Scene 3 Location: Early in Third Act
Logline: Evelyn and Joy are rocks in a universe where humans never evolved and they have a deep conversation about being inconsequential in the universe.
Essence: Even though they are both rocks, they somehow manage to get a little closer to each other, both physically and emotionally, by realizing how small all humans are in the universe.Scene 4 Location: Almost the end of the movie
Logline: Evelyn tells Joy that she disappoints her, but wants to be with her anyway.
Essence: Evelyn and Joy are extremely vulnerable with each other and choose to be in the same universe at the same time, for as little or as long as they can.Scene 5 Location: 21 pages before the end of the movie
Logline: Evelyn sees Waymond in various universes and in various emotional states. The Movie Star Universe version of Waymond tells her that “in another life, [he] would have “really liked just doing laundry and taxes” with her.
Essence: Evelyn finally remembers why and how much she loves Waymond.My selection for most profound essence:
101 BACK IN THE IRS:
EVELYN
It’s too late, Waymond.WAYMOND Don’t say that.
Evelyn looks at her bleeding selfless husband like she’s never seen something so beautiful. MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY. [The same romantic music from the Movie Star Universe when she saw Waymond in the crowd.]
101-2 TAXES UNIVERSE: INT. LAUNDROMAT – Evelyn’s stare lingers before she turns away from the Bagel and hugs Waymond hard.
101 ACTION UNIVERSE: Evelyn takes Waymond’s hand, we hear a RUMBLE begin to grow. Evelyn looks at him and we reveal-
101-3/4/5 VARIOUS UNIVERSES: Abstract and delicate shots of Waymond throughout the multiverse: He is ecstatic, overwhelmed, crying while laughing, bored. Evelyn is seeing a whole, complete vision of her husband for the first time since she first fell in love, maybe ever. We end on-
102 MOVIE STAR UNIVERSE: EXT. MOVIE THEATER ALLEY
WAYMOND (CEO)
儘管你一再讓我心碎，我還是想告訴你
…如果有來生，我還是會選擇和你一起
開洗衣店，報稅。
WAYMOND (CEO)
So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say… In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.
He turns to go.
Essence: Evelyn finally remembers why and how much she loves Waymond.
I think this is the essence of the scene because it’s how I feel every time I watch it or even read it (it always makes me tear up). It reminds me that we often focus on the “big moments” in life to gauge how we are doing and feeling about the meaning of our life, when in truth (and in my experience), it is the most mundane and almost imperceptible moments that make up the true meaning of life. And being aware of those moments as they happen can be life-changing. Certainly remembering them all collectively is life-changing for Evelyn at this moment in the script, which I also think is the essence of this entire movie/screenplay.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Yannis Zafeiriou.
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Yanni, beautiful comments. Thanks for emphasizing those visceral responses. In all this learning, our own bodies have a lot to tells us as well about the essence of a story. It is amazing how simple, special moments can connect so deeply.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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David Finds the Essence
What I learned is the importance of finding the essence in every scene and building around that essence in a creative way.
Script I choose: Stand by Me
Scene 1 Location: INT. TREEHOUSE
Logline: Vern tells his buddies about a dead kid’s body
Essence: This sets the boys off on their adventure
Scene 2 Location: INT. DENNY’S ROOM
Logline: Gordie searches his dead brother’s room for a canteen
Essence: Gordie misses his brother- a big part of his life is gone
Scene 3 Location: EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS
Logline: Chris pulls Teddy off the tracks before Teddy can dodge the train
Essence: Chris is a protector
Scene 4 Location: INT. DINNER TABLE
Logline: The dad talks about Denny’s football game, but Denny talks up Gordie’s writing, infuriating his dad
Essence: The dad doesn’t care about Gordie and his pursuits
Scene 5 Location: EXT. CAMPFIRE
Logline: Gordie tells a story he made up to his friends
Essence: Gordie’s a gifted writer
My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is the essence).
EXT. CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Gordie moans and thrashes in his bedroll. A hand reaches in and shakes him awake. Gordie opens his eyes and finds Chris staring down at him.
CHRIS
(whispers)
Are you okay?
GORDIE
Huh?
CHRIS
You were dreaming.
GORDIE
Oh…
(he sits up)
I didn’t cry at Denny’s funeral.
(pause)
I miss him, Chris. I miss him.
CHRIS
I know ..•
(a beat)
Go back to sleep.
Chris stands up and walks back to his guard post by the fire. Gordie raises up on one elbow and watches him go. After a beat he gets up, crosses over, and sits down next to Chris. After a long pause:
GORDIE
Maybe you could go into the college courses with me.
CHRIS
That’ll be the day.
GORDIE
Why not? You’re smart enough.
CHRIS
They won’t let me.
GORDIE
What do you mean?
CHRIS
(after thinking about it)
It’s the way people think of my family in this town. It’s the way
they think of me. I’m’ just one of those low-life Chambers’ kids •.
GORDIE
That’s not true .
CHRIS
It is. Nobody even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I just got a three-day vacation.
GORDIE
Did you take it?
CHRIS
Yeah. Yeah, I took it. You knew I took it.
(points to Vern and Teddy)
Teddy knew. Everybody knew. Even Vern knew, I think.
Gordie opens his mouth and closes it.
NARRATOR (V. O • )
He was right. No matter what I might have said to my parents, I
had known.
CHRIS
But maybe I was sorry and tried to give it back.
GORDIE
You tried to give it back?!
CHRIS
Maybe. Just maybe. And maybe I took it to old lady Simons and
told her, and maybe the money was all there, but I got a three-day
vacation anyway, because the money never showed up. And maybe the next week old lady Simons had this brand-new skirt on when she came to school.
GORDIE
Yeah, it was sorta brown with dots all over it.
CHRIS
So just say that I stole the .milk money, but then old lady Simons
stole it from me. Just suppose I told that story. Me, Chris Chambers. Kid brother of Eyeball Chambers. You think anybody would have believed it?
GORDIE
No way. Jesus Christ!
CHRIS
And do you think that bitch would have dared ‘.try something like that if it had been one of those dootchbags from up on The View
that had taken the money?
GORDIE
No .
CHRIS
But with me… well, maybe she had her eye on that skirt for a long
time. Anyway, she saw her chance and she took it. I was the stupid
one for even trying to give that money back. But I never thought… I never thought that a teacher. . . oh, who gives a fuck anyway? I just wish I could go someplace where nobody knows me.
Chris swipes an arm angrily across his eyes and we realize he is crying. Gordie pats him consolingly on the back.
CHRIS
{continuing)
I guess I’m just a pussy, huh?
GORDIE
No way, man.
· I believe the essence of this scene is that these two kids from different backgrounds are true friends- for life. They encourage one another, support one another. Gordie encourages Chris to take college courses (which he will) and earlier Chris encourages Gordie to be a writer (which he will). This scene also sets up the ending- and the opening scene narration- where Chris does a good deed and gets punished for it.
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Sean Penn’s brother (aka David), you are teaching me to create pivotal scenes of essence that make the beginning and ending of my scripts believable. Thanks for the insight and I realize it most likely comes by way of your family connections with the industry. LOL
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Lynn Finds the Essence
What I learned is the importance of knowing the essence of each scene. Also that profound essence statements need a good, skilled scene and build up maybe over the entire script so as to come across without seeming “on-the-nose” or academic. For that to happen it helps to have other subplots criss-crossing.
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Script I choose: ERIN BROCKOVICH (revised shooting draft, 129 pages)
Scene 1 Location: pp. 13-15, “the catalyst”
Logline: Erin makes Ed give her a job in his law office
Essence: This scene shows Ed’s office is in some disarray (he really needs more help but maybe can’t afford it?); he doesn’t want Erin there, but she persists and he finally gives in (having failed to win her case). Also the staff look askance at her, portending that she’ll have a rough time there.Scene 2 Location: pp. 17-19, after set-up, the “B-story”
Logline: New neighbor George with a loud motorcycle annoys Erin, but is really into her.
Essence: George is a tough-looking biker, into Erin, and NOT dissuaded by her having three kids and 2 divorces.Scene 3 Location: pp. 28-31, break into Act 2
Logline: Donna reveals to Erin that PG&E, that wants to buy her house, is also paying medical bills for their cancer and cysts… because of “the chromium.”
Essence: Introducing Donna, a fine homemaker and mother, who strongly faces their illnesses, and doesn’t want to sell her home to PG&E, at least not for their offering price. The mystery/confusion that led Erin to investigate is partly solved as to why med bills are mixed in with real estate matters: PG&E, which Donna says has done so much for their community, is paying them due to “the chromium” and wanting to buy out their house. Strange. (and the next UCLA scene makes it more ominous… probably chrom 6, the toxic one; and the following Water Board scene confirms it)Scene 4 Location: p. 75
Logline: George tells Erin on the phone of her baby saying her first word.
Essence: Erin is not present when her baby says her first word, which shows the sacrifice she is making for this important Hinkley case.Scene 5 Location: pp. 86-87 (see below)
Logline: Ed gets staff and Erin to look like attorneys to confront the PG&E attorneys and their offer.
Essence: Lower class Erin takes over and not only rejects $20M the offer for the 400 plaintiffs, but in a monologue asks how much their spine and uterus is worth (life is fundamental, outweighing money).Scene 6 Location: pp. 120-124, series of scenes
Logline: A creepy man from earlier scenes comes to Erin with important case information.
Essence: A creepy man Erin thinks is trying to hit on her tells her of the final, important piece of info for their case — documents he didn’t shred.================================
My selection for most profound essence:
INT. MASRY & VITITOE – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY (pp. 86-87)
Sanchez, Webster, Buda, and Cooper are seated.
The door opens and Ed enters, legal pad under his arm. Followed by Erin,
legal pad under her arm. Followed by Anna (looking professional in Brenda’ssuit coat), legal pad under her arm. Followed by Donald (in a suit
produced from who knows where), legal pad under his arm. If you didn’t
know better, you’d assume it was a team of lawyers as well.…………………………ED
…………………….Counselors —…………………………MR. SANCHEZ
…………………….Counselors.Ed and Erin sit down and get to work. Mario and Anna,
clearly told to just follow along, sit down a moment later.INT. MASRY & VITITOE – CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER
Mario and Anna are sitting mutely in their seats beside Ed
and Erin, firing blank looks across the table.…………………………SANCHEZ
…………………….Let’s be honest here. Twenty million
…………………….dollars is more money than these people…………………….have ever dreamed of.
Erin has no patience for this today.
…………………………ERIN
…………………….Oh, see, now that pisses me off. First
…………………….of all — since the demur, we now have
…………………….more than four hundred plaintiffs…and
………………………………..(mocking her)
……………………”let’s be honest”, we all know there’s…………………….more out there. Now, they may not be the
…………………….most sophisticated people, but they do
…………………….know how to divide, and twenty million…………………….dollars isn’t shit when it’s split
…………………….between them.Donald and Anna exchange a look. This is getting interesting.
…………………………ED
…………………….Erin —But there’s no stopping her.
…………………………ERIN
…………………….And second of all — these people don’t
…………………….dream about being rich. They dream about
…………………….being able to watch their kids swim in a
…………………….pool without worrying they’ll have to
…………………….have a hysterectomy at age 20, like Rosa
…………………….Diaz — a client of ours — or have their
…………………….spine deteriorate like Stan Bloom.
…………………….Another client of ours.Ed sits now with a light smile, content to let Erin continue.
…………………………ERIN (CONT’D)
…………………….So before you come back here with another
…………………….lame-ass offer, I want you to think real
…………………….hard about what your spine is worth, Mr.…………………….Buda — or what you’d expect someone to
…………………….pay you for your uterus, Miss Sanchez —
…………………….then you take out your calculator and
…………………….multiply that number by a hundred. Anything
…………………….less than that is a waste of our time.Sanchez, throughout her speech, has been reacting in a patronizing manner
– as if Erin’s words were of no import. By the end of Erin’s speech, Sanchez
has picked up a glass of water in front of her and is about to drink, when Erin says:…………………………SANCHEZ
…………………….I think this meeting is over.…………………………ERIN
…………………….Damn right it is.Erin gets up and storms out first. We see on Anna’s face, the first signs of respect for Erin.
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Essence: Lower class Erin takes over, gaining staff appreciation and Ed’s okay, a David defending her own kind of people against the haughty and patronizing PG&E giant. She not only rejects the $20M offer for the 400 plaintiffs, but asks the PG&E attorneys how much their spine and uterus are worth. The important essence here is that even though they can only get money as compensation, life and health totally outweigh money–something Erin in her life experiences and work with the victims understands & gets the point across brashly. Secondarily Erin has “come into her own” and gains the approval of Ed and his staff.
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After finishing this assignment I got script notes from a contest. Now I don’t use ALL feedback I get. I usually do if 2 or more analysts point to the same problem, but this time the analyst told me my opening was not good and gave some suggestions — something no one had pointed out, but I myself felt was weak compared to the really good openings for my other screenplays. And I had actually worried about it, but couldn’t think of anything different that would also get in all/most of the essentials I needed, without introducing new issues and characters.
It was just before bedtime and I felt really bad, but I woke up with a great idea… I would put another scene before my opening scene that was much more exciting/entertaining, take some essentials from the old opening and other scenes… I still haven’t figured out how to cover what needs to be covered, but I’m now working on it.
In the “Writing Incredible Movies” course I just finished here Hal said we should give such problems over to our creative process, take a walk or a nap (I’ve always called it “the sleep technique,” which has helped me solve math and physics problems and others).
That along with me focusing on the Essence is now really helping…
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Lynn, this is exciting. I decided that as I read through these responses that I’d pretend the feedback or notes are for my own scripts and then my goal is to challenge myself to make those improvements or at least come up with a number of alternative ideas that do work. Hoping this gives me a lot of practice with increasing my ability to quickly respond with alternative storytelling components and restructuring that I’d never have considered otherwise. Thx.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Jack Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it all
starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.Script I choose: Chinatown
Scene 1 Location: Opening – Gittes’s Office
Logline: Gittes is a small-time investigator who handles divorce cases
Essence of Character: The essence of the protagonist is that he is an investigator who doesn’t handle big important cases but still thinks of himself as a professional who knows the real worldScene 2 Location: Opening – City Hall Counsel Chambers
Logline: The California farmers are panicked about how to take care of their animals without water
Essence of Concept: Introducing the important concept that Los Angeles has a big water problemScene 3 Location: Inciting Incident
Logline: Gittes has been working for the wrong person
Essence of Story: Gittes, who thinks himself clever, was duped. Now we know this story is about a big mystery and wonder about what is really going on.Scene 4 Location: Turning Point Act 1
Logline: The investigation turns from infidelity to cause of death when the body of Mulwray is found.
Essence of Character: Gittes has skills from his past as a police detective, but goes about his business in unconventional ways.Scene 5 Location: Turning Point Reveal Act 3
Logline: Evelyn had a child with her father
Essence of Story: The mystery, and the content of Noah Cross’s character is revealed when Evelyn exposes the truth about her daughter (and sister).My selection for most profound essence: – The scene where Gittes finally understands what is happening after Evelyn admits her father and she had a baby together.
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Good job. I had Chinatown on my list for this assignment 😀. Also, I consider it an environmental movie, among other genre.
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Jack, you’ve really taught me something very important. It seems to me that you identify the scene that exposes the debased actions and moral corruption of the villain. This rockets the stakes into the stratosphere because there is no going back for the hero after these are revealed. And the tension is edgy because now everyone knows (audience included), but the villain has yet to discover that everyone knows.
Knowing and exposing the villain’s essence is essential for a great storytelling. Thx.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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GET OUT by Jordan Peele – Patricia Milton finds the essence
What I learned is the importance of essence to each scene, and how scenes build upon one another. I particularly liked the use of metaphor to convey essence.
Scene 1-3, pre-title card.
Suburban street at night.
A black man walking alone at night is drugged and kidnapped.
Essence: It is unsafe for black people to walk alone at night in suburbia; they are in danger in white America.
Scene 10-13.
A road on the way to Rose’s parents’ house.
While Chris and Rose flirt, their car hits a deer; when the police arrive, Chris is protected by Rose.
Essence: Metaphoric injury of “buck” reveals Chris is in danger, sets tone of thriller. Police can/must be managed by white woman.
Scene 35-41.
Missy’s office.
Rose’s mom, a hypnotist, fully dressed in the middle of the night, sends Chris to “the sunken place.”
Essence: “Helping” white woman is dangerous and in control, using Chris’ trauma to control him.
Scene 47-49.
The home of Rose’s parents, a garden party.
As Rose and Chris mingle, the old, white party guests size up Chris and make racially insensitive comments: Set-up for Scene 66-69 bidding.
Essence: Modern day white America still wishes to buy/exploit black people a la slaveholders.
Scene 89.
In the basement of Rose’s parents’ home.
A stuffed deer head (“buck” metaphor again) is prominent. Chris is tied to an armchair in front of a TV, which turns on and shows a teacup and teaspoon, the hypnotic trance inducer.
Essence: Rose’s mother Missy, a white woman, is seeking to retain control of Chris, a black man, in order to exploit him. Chris will extract stuffing from the armchair (symbolic picking cotton) to plug his ears and resist the trance.
To me, this scene is rich with symbolic racialized meaning, and contains the essence of the film. Chris is able to triumph over exploitation despite his trauma, and sets off the final confrontation, which he wins. That Chris has used “picking cotton” to overcome the murderous white folks is both poetic and satisfying.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Patricia Milton. Reason: forgot to put what I learned :-/
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Patricia,
Love your comments! Here’s what I’m getting out of your assignment:
The maximum entertainment is not limited to words. This is a visual art. Creating essence must include filmable cinematic thrills that are visual in addition to what is auditory.
Sometimes I study a film with the sound off and I look for the visual story of symbols and metaphors. I believe the visual story (that can be its own track woven into the script) must have its own essence. You’ve demonstrated this precisely in your assignment. Thank you so very much.
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Thanks, Leah, for your comment and your enthusiasm, -p
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR
Scene 1 Page1 OPENING
Logline: Crown and Psychiatrist discuss his attitude to women, namely, if a woman can trust him.
Essense: To show us his inner attitude and character, which is important for the ENDING of the movie.
Scene 2 Page 3
Logline: CROWN on the way to the museum.
Esssense: We get his optical description, introduction of the Crown character place #1.
Scene 3 Page 8-9
Logline: Crown making a deal with other businessmen, namely, selling his building.
Essense: Subtext message “he is ready to run as he liquids his assets” and showing his character of “hard core businessman” as he damp the others by not congratuating them as they overpaid.
Scene 4 Page73 with PRIVATE AIRPLANE
Logline: CROWN is a pilot of the airplane
Esssense: Continuing introducing his other sides of the character. He is a superman. He is skillful and can do and master many things. He impresses people with ebverthing he can.
Scene 5 Page73 THE HOUSE
Logline: CROWN shows Vivian his tropical cottage.
Essense: To show Crowns personality even deeper and show us its essense.
I had this type of analysis towards my own script already as I constructed it in a way that every scene makes sense (has essense) that I can explain why it is there. However, if needed I can omit the entertainment scenes and their meaning I can try to stick into the neighbouring scenes to make them more intense.
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Angelina,
Here is what you’ve taught me through your assignment:
The juxtaposition of two scenes in terms of their intensity and focus can be more succinctly powerful than a number of filler scenes.
To do this, I have to know the essence of each scene.
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Michael Wallace Finds the Essence
What I learned is that the search for the essence is that it defines the building blocks for the the story itself, moving the story forward while keeping the audience engaged
Script I choose: Saving Private Ryan
Scene 1 Location: Early in First Act
Logline: As the battle worn American troops storm the beaches of Normandy, Captain Miller takes charge of the chaos and fear to lead his troops in battle.
Essence: Captain Miller hides his own fear, using sarcasm and indifference to the horror of war and death around him to lead his men forward.Scene 2 Location: In the First Act
Logline: Captain Miller offers himself as an enemy target to save his men.
Essence: Captain Miller continuously puts his own life at risk to protect his men and move the mission forward.Scene 3 Location: In the First Act
Logline: After Private Ryan’s three brothers are all killed in combat, General Marshall gives the order to find Private Ryan and bring him home.
Essence: This scene sets the stage for the balance of the story and changes Captain Miller and his troops mission and their roll in the war.Scene 4 Location: At the end of Act One
Logline: Captain Miller and his men leave the massive military undertaking at Normandy to find one man in the middle of a war, to bring him home.
Essence: Despite all the death and destruction around them, Miller and his troops risk their own lives to save one, and offer some sense of humanity in an inhumane world.Scene 5 Location: At the beginning of Act Three
Logline: After Miller and his men finally find Private Ryan, he refuses to leave and abandon his own troops and their mission.Essence: Private Ryan’s actions changes the view of Miller and his troops and unites them all to stay and fight despite the cost.
My selection for most profound essence: The scene where Miller find Ryan and he refuses to leave and abandon his men and duty.
ON THE BRIDGE
The Paratroopers pour a HEAVY STREAM OF BULLETS at the German
positions.
Miller makes it to the bridge and DIVES over a defensive
jumble of crates, sandbags and bodies.
He finds himself next to SERGEANT BILL FORREST who was the
young but grizzled voice that called out. With Forrest are
some very worn-out, young AMERICAN PARATROOPERS. Miller
catches his breath.FORREST
Navy, sir, twenty-one to nineteen.
They won on a field goal in
overtime.
92.MILLER
I’ll keep it in mind.
(calls to Sarge)
OKAY, SARGE, ONE AT A TIME.Miller and the paratroopers FIRE COVER for Miller’s men as
they come in. Miller and Forrest alternately take and FIRE.FORREST
Are we glad to see you, sir, we
were supposed to hold this bridge
for twenty-four hours, it’s been
six days.MILLER
Things are tough all over. We’re
looking for a Private James Ryan.FORREST
Ryan?MILLER
Is he here?Forrest motions to one of the paratroopers.
FORREST
Go get Ryan.
(to Miller)
What do you want him for, sir?Miller doesn’t answer. Jackson leaps over the barricade and
scrambles to them.MILLER
Jackson, get a hold of command.Jackson cranks up the five-thirty-five. Miller turns to
Forrest.MILLER
(continuing)
How many men do you have?They pause to FIRE, covering Sarge, the last of Miller’s men
to leap over the barricade.FORREST
Eleven, sir. We started with
thirty-six.
(more)
93.FORREST (cont’d)
The bridge was easy to take but
the Krauts have been coming back
at us ever since. They must want
it intact or we’d be long gone.Jackson speaks into the radio handset, repeating Miller’s
hailing I.D. No response.JACKSON
Not yet.MILLER
Keep trying.FORREST
Sir, what do you want with Ryan?Miller doesn’t answer, he looks past Forrest and sees:
PRIVATE JAMES RYAN
Dashing from cover to cover, making his way toward them.
Ryan is an American classic, nineteen years old, earthy,
handsome, sharp, cocky. Though he’s exhausted, unshaven, and
smeared with dirt and blood, he’s very alive. His eyes
shine, his face has a spark. You can’t help but love this
kid.
MILLER’S MEN
All watch Ryan run toward them.JACKSON
So, that’s Ryan.REIBEN
Looks like a flaming asshole to me.Their eyes remain glued to Ryan as he makes it to the
barricade. He salutes Miller.RYAN
I’m Ryan, sir. You wanted to see
me?Miller looks at Ryan for a moment, amazed that he’s finally
face-to-face with him. Ryan waits. Miller hesitates,
searching for words. Then he speaks gently but clearly.
94.MILLER
Private, I’ve got some bad news
for you. Your brothers have been
killed in action.The life instantly drains from Ryan. His breath comes hard.
Somehow he remains upright.RYAN
All three?MILLER
Yes.Ryan sways. Miller grabs him and eases him back, leaning him
against some sandbags.
THE PARATROOPERS
Are stunned at the news. They look at Ryan, there’s nothing
else they can do.
MILLER’S MEN
Also look at Ryan, but then, one after another, they turn
away, adverting their eyes, looking a their own boots, the
debris on the bridge, the sky, anything other than Ryan.MILLER
We’ve been sent to get you out of
here. You’re going home.Ryan weakly waves Miller off. Miller motions to his men and
the paratroopers to move away. They do so, giving Ryan a
little room.FORREST
Three brothers, the poor son-of-a bitch.MILLER
Sergeant, we’re moving out and I’m
taking you and your men with me.FORREST
But, sir, our orders are clear,
we’re to hold this bridge until
we’re relieved by forward elements
of the Twenty-ninth Division.MILLER
I’m giving you new orders,
Sergeant.FORREST
Sir, you can’t do that, these
orders are from command.MILLER
I’m not going to leave you and
your men here to get killed. Get
them together, we’re moving out.A VOICE from behind them speaks simply, clearly, firmly.
RYAN (O.S.)
No, sir.
They all turn and see Ryan standing there. Miller is about
to automatically rip Ryan a new asshole for contradicting
him, but he quickly calms himself, gently touches Ryan on the
arm and speaks softly to him.MILLER
Come on, Private, you’re going
home.Ryan jerks away from Miller.
RYAN
No, sir.All eyes are on Miller and Ryan. Miller remains patient.
MILLER
Private. I’m sorry about your
brothers but staying here and
getting yourself killed isn’t
going to help.RYAN
Sir, if the Krauts are holding
this bridge when division shows
up, our guys are going to be
sitting ducks.MILLER
This bridge cannot be held. The
Germans have two companies less
than three miles from here. They
have tanks.That news clearly affects Ryan and the other paratroopers,
but Ryan holds his ground.RYAN
Sir, I’m still not going.Miller speaks with restrained, but growing, anger.
MILLER
Private, if you want to commit
suicide, that’s your choice, but
you’re going to have to wait until
after I get you back to the beach.
And you’re not going to take these
men with you.Ryan stands eye-to-eye with Miller.
RYAN
I’m not leaving, sir.Miller starts to boil over.
MILLER
The hell you aren’t, you’re comin’
with me if I have to drag you
every inch of the way. You hear
me, Private?RYAN
I hear you sir, but I’m not
leaving.Miller grabs Ryan by the lapels and shakes him. Ryan doesn’t
resist.MILLER
Listen you little son-of-a-bitch
you’re coming with me or
I’ll…I’ll…Ryan speaks softly.
RYAN
What are you going to do, sir,
shoot me?Miller considers it. Then REIBEN SPEAKS UP from behind
Miller.REIBEN
(politely)
Uh, excuse me, Captain.Miller slowly turns and glares.
REIBEN
(continuing)
So, what are a few tanks, sir?Miller’s more amazed than pissed off. Reiben smiles.
REIBEN
(continuing)
He’s right, we can’t shoot
him…well, we could but we’d get
in an enormous amount of trouble.
And he’s right about the bridge,
it’s a hell of a lot more
important than he is.-
Micheal,
I agree with you. Essence does define story structure in ways that build audience engagement because knowing the essence makes it possible to build engaging stories. Thanks. Very kind of you to point this out.
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Leah Gunderson Finds the Essence
If the easiest way for a producer to solve production problems is by changing the writing, then the easiest way to change the writing is by changing the outline. What I learned is that my scene lists for plot planning can free my creativity for greater flexibility to maximize the entertainment if I know the essence of each scene that layers up from story, character, challenging situations, action, and dialogue. This creates greater interest and subtext with which to rivet audiences to the story through visceral experiences. For me, this is how I can begin mastering the concept that “there is more depth to great writing and it all starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.”
Script I choose: Big Fish
Scene 1 Location: Beginning of Act 1
Logline: Edward Bloom is bigger than life and full of hyperbole. His son, Will, no longer enjoys the stories.
Essence: Will’s view of his father has grown to disbelief with a distrustful view that his father is simply a liar who demands the spotlight of every social exchange – leaving Will alone in the dark.Scene 2 Location: End of Act 1
Logline: Edward who is now a young man and Karl, the giant, decide to leave town.
Essence: Edward’s hometown is too small for his large ambitions.Scene 3 Location: Midpoint
Logline: Edward, as a young man, is in earnest for the name and location of his future wife.
Essence: Edward is discovering his own sexuality; the beast he must tame before he is worthy of Sandra Templeton.Scene 4 Location: Plot Point
Logline: Edward buys a home for his wife and son. It is in this home that Edward is dying.
Essence: Edward loves his wife and son. Sandra was and always will be Edward’s true love. Edward is the love of Sandra’s life and she is grieving his imminent death.Scene 5 Location: Closing Scene
Logline: Will has taught Edward’s life stories to his son.
Essence: Will knows the meaning of and value of Edward’s bigger-than-life stories and loves for his son to know them because Will has learned the value of using symbolisms and hyperboles to tell truths through storytelling. Will loves his father. He now believes in Edward and can understand the reasons for accepting his father as a fat and happy immortalized catfish; the big fish who was never merely a mortal man.My selection for most profound essence: Reveal After the Funeral
EXT. Cemetery – DAY (Later)
After the service, we see the crowd gathered in small groups. By the laughter and hand gestures, we can see they’re telling stories. They’re telling Edward’s stories. We find Will watching them.
Will (V.O.)
Have you ever heard a joke so many times you’ve forgotten why it’s funny? But then you hear it again and suddenly it’s new. You remember why you loved it in the first place.
Will joins in , laughing.
The Essence: Will remembers why he loved his father in the first place. Son is able to make his peace with his deceased father. Will can now be happy. Will’s heart and mind and life is healed.
Why I believe that is the essence: Will accepts his father and his father’s death because he finally understands Edward as a truthful orator rather than a liar. He discovered his father to be capable of loving the uniqueness of each person as valuable characters in his extraordinary life with celebration and a warm embrace of belonging with the intent of being remembered. Because of gaining this understanding of his father, Will finally understands himself. Will’s own life with his wife and child can now make sense. Will is at ease in his relationship with his father because now he knows who his father was . . . a Big Fish.
What I learned: Essence probably needs to be understood from the very start. What is the movie’s logline? If I really know this, then I can know the essence for the entire script and for each scene – the first person I’m pitching to is myself. Powerful coherence and continuity can be sorted out with the outlines creating essence for story, character, situations, and action before scenes are even written. The scene list can be recreated in many ways that modify the outlines and vice versa to explore the best expressions of essence that is going to engage the audience because the story itself is incredibly engaging.
https://johnaugust.com/downloads_ripley/big-fish.pdf
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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Leah, you are amazing – even if I do say so myself.
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Leah, you have cut right to the heart of the matter, or I should say, the essence itself. When we create an outline, it’s important to know the essence and intention of the scene right there in the outline prior to writing the scene. In fact, you have inspired me to include an Essence entry under each scene of my outlines from this point on. It will be much simpler to fix or remove scenes prior to writing the script.
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You are spot-on, Leah. After this assignment, I went back to Act 1 of a new script I’m writing and wrote, right into Final Draft, an “Essence” entry, one line before each Scene’s Slug Line for each scene I had written. I then returned to Scene 1, read the Essence, then the scene. Ideas started popping out all over the place, so I Rewrote as I went. My wife had heard my best effort before, so I reread the act to her, and I DID NOT HAVE TO ASK! I could see I in her face. I had, in fact, DOUBLED the quality of the writing. This stuff works!!!
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Understanding Essence
Slumdog Millionaire
What I’ve learned is..
Scene 1. Location: Toilets. Scene: 21.
Tag Line: Jamal’s favorite actor has just arrived by helicopter and he is stuck in a toilet.
Essence: The scene shows Jamal’s determination. This sets up the understanding of Jamal’s years of searching for Latika. The scene further shows Salim’s being a pest as an older brother and not caring for Jamal’s wishes. This will be an ongoing theme.
Scene 2. Location: Builder’s Yard. Scene 34.
Tag Line: Jamal asks Latika to join him and his brother.
Essence: This shows Jamal’s caring side. This is a difference he has from his brother. This scene links Jamal and Latika together and the beginning of their bond.
Scene 3. Location: Orphanage Scene 66.
Tag line: Salim helps his brother from being blinded by the orphan keeper and they escape.
Essence: This shows their brotherly love. It also shows, us against the world attitude they have. They can depend on each other. Salim acts as Jamal’s caretaker.
Scene 4. Location: Hotel. Scene: 148.
Tag Line: Salim takes Latika and gives her to a gang leader.
Essence: This displays a break up of the brotherhood. Salim does this so he can have a better life for himself. He loves his brother but often acts on his own desires. Latika was just freed from one imprisonment to go right into another. Salim has chosen a darker lifestyle and is growing comfortable with it.
Scene 5. Location: Javed’s Safe House. Scene: 159.
Tag line: Salim gives Latika his cell phone and car keys to help her escape.
Essence: Salim is trying to right a wrong. He understands his brother’s persistence. He realizes he will not stop until he is with Latika. He is giving his brother the better life that he deserves. Brotherly love wins over Salim’s selfishness. Salim knows helping Latika escape will be at the expense of his own life. This is a gift and apology to his brother.
The last scene is the most profound to me. Salim becomes the protector and older brother that he has not been. It shows the inevitability that Jamal and Latika are going to be together. Salim realizes this is a way to redeem himself.
<b style=”font-family: “Courier New”, Courier, “Lucida Sans Typewriter”, “Lucida Typewriter”, monospace; font-size: 1rem; white-space: pre-wrap;”>59 INT. JAVED’S SAFE-HOUSE. KITCHEN. NIGHT. 159
Latika sits in the kitchen, staring at the tv, tears running down her cheeks. A reporter is talking in front of an enlarged photograph of Jamal. Latika wipes away the tears quickly as Salim comes in. He locks the door behind him. Stares at the tv. SALIM That boy. He will never give up. Never. He shakes his head. SALIM (CONT'D) Crazy chutiy�. Salim approaches Latika. She flinches as he walks towards her. He puts some car keys in front of her. SALIM (CONT'D) Ja. Go. LATIKA But- SALIM - just drive. There won't be another chance. Go. Latika takes the keys. Hesitates. LATIKA He'll kill you. Salim smiles, shakes his head. SALIM It is not written. JAVED O/S Salim! Salim goes to the back door. Unlocks it. Opens it for her. LATIKA Salim, I....can't. Salim points at the television. SALIM You have to. It'll take you two hours if you drive fast. Here. He holds out his mobile phone. SALIM (CONT'D) For God's sake, hold on to it.
159 CONTINUED: 159 Latika takes it. Salim takes hold of both sides of her head for a moment. SALIM (CONT'D) For what I have done, please forgive me. Salim releases her. SALIM (CONT'D) Go. Have a good life. Salim puts his hands together in blessing. She leaves. Salim shuts the door, locks it. Smiles.-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by Rodger Plack.
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Roger,
Slumdog Millionaire is a great film.
Your assignment teaches me to be aware of how the essence of each character creates the journeys those characters takes over the course of a story – the character arcs and subplots.
Thank you for teaching me this.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment:
It was an interesting task to go through a favorite movie with an eye for the overall higher meaning. It made me realize new depths to the script.
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SCENE 1:
Location: Side of Mount Doom (Act III)
Logline: Laying exhausted on the side of Mount Doom, faithful Samwise overcomes Frodo’s exhaustion by carrying his friend the final distance.
Essence: When all appears lost, your loved ones can help you finish the task.
*
SCENE 2:
Location: Shadow of Dunharrow Pass (just before Midpoint)
Logline: Shieldmaiden Èowyn takes offense when Èomer tells her not to encourage Merry to fight.
Essence: Everybody should be encouraged to fight for what they love.
*
SCENE 3:
Location: Pelennor Fields (middle of Act III)
Logline: A brave shieldmaiden, with help from a trusty Hobbit, kill the Witch King, who no man could kill, in order to save her uncle, the king.
Essence: Its often the most unexpected people, working to save what they love, who can defeat evil.
*
SCENE 4:
Location: Minas Tirith (past Midpoint, ACT II)
Logline: A simple Hobbit sings a tragic song to “entertain” a lord who gluttonously consumes a feast while his “less favored” son is just beyond the gates, being slaughtered.
Essence: Due to gluttony and greed, you foolishly sacrifice that which matters most.
*
SCENE 5:
Location: Hall of the Dead (Midpoint)
Logline: A reluctant heir to the throne asserts his right to lead the armies of the dead.
Essence: We must all accept our fate, if we wish to save the people we love most.
*****
MOST PROFOUND ESSENCE:
SCENE 1: Which sums up the entire point of the 3-movie trilogy of the importance of “fellowship.”
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Anna,
Thank you for reminding me that a good title captures the essence of the story.
I have working titles for some of my scripts depending upon what I am focusing on for improvement at this time. Kind of my way of flagging what I need to fix – I don’t change it back to the real title until I figure out how to fix the problems because the story is not the envisioned story until it is.
I’m going to take a look at my titles and see if they really do capture the essence. Thx
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(Alfred Dunham) Finds the Essence
What I learned is:
I need to dig even deeper to understand what I am trying to say, in a way that others can understand it too – and that begins with a better understanding of Essence
My top 10 choices were not available, so I chose –
Script I choice:
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
by
Stephen Spielberg
Scene Series 1 Location: Near the beginning of Act 1
Logline: Night: Small boy, Barry Guiler, is fascinated by something strange happening to his toys, but when his mother, Jillian Guiler, awakens and sees him rush off jubilant and then disappears – she’s terrified.Essence: Maybe the terrifying is actually benign – something a child can see because their minds are not as blocked by fear of the unknown `as many adult minds are.
Scene Series 2 Location: Near the beginning of Act 1
Logline: Aircraft that disappeared during WWII are found, like new, in the Sonoran Desert and a team of scientists investigate their strange return.
Essence: Something terrifyingly strange and frightening, yet wonderful, is happening and there is an element of excitement in it, mush as little Barry felt.Scene Series 3 Location: Near the Midpoint of the movie/screenplay
Logline: Roy Neary is sent to investigate a power outage, encounters UFOs and strange happenings, much as little Barry did, and he becomes possessed with a driving curiosity – meets Jillian.
Essence:Scene Series 4 Location: Near the middle of Classic Act IIb
Logline: Roy Neary, as his life unravels and disintegrates, builds a huge replica of the Devil’s Tower, in Wyoming, in his house but doesn’t know why or what it is until he sees it on TV – Jillian does much the same but with drawings.
Essence: While Roy’s wife, Ronnie, and neighbors are not receptive to something new and unusual. Roy is, and his determination to understand creates withering discomforts for him, which he is willing to weather.Scene Series 5 Location: Near the end of Classic Act III
Logline: Jillian and Roy are the only two, drawn to the Devil’s Tower, to make it to the scientific encampment on the other side and witness the Mother Ship arrive and spill out Barry and the piolets of the aircraft at the beginning of the movie – and Neary is allowed to leave aboard the Ship..
Essence: Great things come to those willing to struggle through the discomforts and rejections with the expectation of “this is important.”My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is
the essence).Throughout the movie, there are subtle comments and discussions of the Pinocchio story – the little wooden puppet who, to the wishes of his maker, Giuseppe, becomes a real boy, despite his mistakes and the trouble he has gotten himself into.
The end-scenes continue that theme even into the magnificent music by the great John Williams, and into that music is the song, When You Wish Upon a Star… your dreams come true.
Essence: The essence is that despite its rough history, the human race will still somehow grow up and survive, transformed — the mythological stuff of world religion, grown up – the grand wish of mankind.
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Alfred Gene,
Thank you for teaching me to remember to dig deeper.
If the ambition here is to double the quality of my writing, then this is not about rewriting. It is about creating new story components and structures because of digger deeper – all the way to the essence.
Thank you.
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What I learned to day is focusing the scene on the point you want to get across. A dramatic scene, as compared to a transitional or explanatory scene, should only have one point, and it should nail it.
Line Of Duty Series 4, Episode 1
https://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/documents/line-of-duty-s4-ep1-post-production-script-uk-tx-version.pdf#1
LOCATION: P1
LOGLINE: A young woman is kidnapped off the street.
ESSENCE: The police are alerted by witnesses.#2
LOCATION: P11
LOGLINE: The victim is rescued in the nick of time.
ESSENCE: The police find and rescue the victim unharmed.#3
LOCATION:P16
LOGLINE: The polce make an arrest.
ESSENCE: The case is resolved, the police have their man.#4
LOCATION: P19
LOGLINE: Forensics have their doubts.
ESSENCE: Forensics attempt to alert the investigator but are brushed aside.#5
LOCATION: P30
LOGLINE: Forensics take their concerns to police complaints department (AC-12).
ESSENCE: Forensics have thrown doubt on the case against the suspect in the other murders.INT AC-12 MEETING ROOM CONT
Tim continues to explain to Steve.
TIM
I mean, in court, a so-called expert pops up and the jury stops listening to the rest of the evidence.STEVE
Look, Tim, it’s late…TIM
So I asked the Submissions Team at the laboratory to carry out a sample environmental profile on these items. Other items recovered from the scene.
(photo on laptop)
A hairgrip belonging to Baswinder Kaur. And a necklace belonging to Leonie Collersdale bore a characteristic pattern of carpet fibre deposits. Now as residents walk around…STEVE
Tiny amounts of carpet fibres are thrown into the air and settle on objects in the immediate vicinity. This gives an indication of how long the objects have been in said location.TIM
Exactly. No carpet fibre deposits were found on any of the items connecting the crime scene to the previous victims. None of the suspect’s DNA either. Now I’m worried, well, you know what I’m worried about…that they were planted there.Steve absorbs Tim’s point.
============================================
After reading the Juno scene I wonder if LOGLINE -> ESSENCE, and ESSENCE->EXPRESSION?
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Jeremy Cooke.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Jeremy Cooke.
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Jeremy,
I’m seeking to learn something from each of these assignments that are posted.
Thank you for articulating that each scene, no matter its function in the script, must have its own essence in order to fulfill its purpose. Now, that may not be exactly what you are stating. However, this is what I learned from your assignment. Thx.
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As I’m, weakly, understanding it so far what we call the essence is what the scene is to accomplish, or demonstrate, or show. For example in Brian’s piece below in scene #1 the essence is that John’s heart still belongs to his ex-wife.
Now how are we going to choose to express that? Do they bond at their children’s party? Or does she stop when he has a flat tyre and help? Or are they in space and she shares her oxygen with him? It doesn’t matter how we express it as long as we communicate the essence.
Or I could be completely wrong.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Jeremy Cooke.
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Jeremy,
I agree it is a challenge that requires a lot of work to really understand the essence of each scene and then even a greater challenge to accomplish writing incredibly entertaining expressions of that essence for specific scenes without forgetting the promised concept of the script.
For me, I’ve decided to post the movie’s logline (the BIG Concept) at eye level on my wall so that I have to see it as I rework my scene list until each situation is powerfully essential to moving the script to new levels that actually deliver on the promise of the concept.
I think this is actually really hard and I don’t think I am very good at it . . . yet. But for some reason it is fun to me in personally rewarding ways and the challenge holds my attention over other distractions like mowing the lawn. LOL. I really want to go mow the lawn right now! But, I’ll do that after I finish the next assignment.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Title: Brian G. Walsh Finds the Essence
What I’ve Learned is that you can use
actions and non-actions to convey a deeper meaning under the surface
of a scene.Scene 1 Location: 3<sup>rd</sup> from
opening sceneLogline: John McClane reluctantly turns
down chance to pick up a pretty stewardess.Essence: McClane’s heart belongs to
someone else. He is still loyal to his wife and hasn’t accepted that
he won’t win her back.Scene 2 Location: Page 16
Logline: John and his estranged wife
reconnect for a moment but that moment is soon lost.Essence: There is still love between
husband and wife and still hope for reconciliation, but there are
still issues between them that haven’t been resolved.Scene 3 Location: Page 28
Logline: McClane learns that the
building has been taken over by terrorists who won’t hesitate to
kill.Essence: McClane is out of his element.
Even though he’s an experienced cop, being trapped and outnumbered
inside an office building is not something he’s been trained for. At
this moment he is desperate for outside help.Scene 4 Location: Page 34
Logline: McClane sends the dead body of
a terrorist down in the elevator with a note attached.Essence: McClane is trying to scare the
terrorists enough to make them think about leaving, or at least upset
them enough to make a mistake. He is showing them that they are
vulnerable and someone is fighting back, hoping to shake their
confidence.Scene 5 Location: Page 98
Logline: McClane asks cop to tell his
wife he’s sorry.Essence: McClane is making his peace
with death here and admitting that the estrangement in his marriage
was due to his inability to support his wife’s career ambitions.My selection for most profound essence:
Page 98Essence: McClane
is accepting death and accepting responsibility, finally admitting he
was wrong. He is making peace with death and admitting that the
estrangement between him and his wife was due to his inability to
support her career ambitions.I believe that is
the essence of this scene and that it’s also the essence of John
McClane’s life and marriage because he has been fighting against
insurmountable odds and risking his life to save the woman he loves,
but only now does he realize that his inability to accept her
ambitions as being just as deserving as his has led to this
situation. His love for Holly is even stronger than his pride.-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by Brian Walsh.
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Brian,
Here is what I am learning from your posting:
When essence is communicated through both action and non-action that stems from subtext, a deeper meaning is created.
Thank you for the chance to think about this.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Beth Zurkowski Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it
all
starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.Script I choose: Taxi Driver
Scene 1 Location: Before beginning credits
Logline:Travis
Bickle argues for job with personnel officer
Essence: He can’t
sleep so he needs something to do. Essence of situtation.Scene 2 Location: First act
Logline: Travis goes and picks up
customers
Essence: We see how Travis operates throughout the
story. Essence of ActionScene 3 Location:End of middle of Act 1
Logline: Betsy and
Travis go on first date
Essence: Betsy turns out not to like
Travis Essance of story.Scene 4 Location: middle of script
Logline: Travis gets
guns.
Essence: Travis starts out wanting to kill Politician. But
feels better about saving Iris. Essance of action.Scene 5 Location: Middle of act two
Logline: We are introduced
to Iris
Essence: Travis is a better brother than lover. Essence of
story.My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without
worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why
you believe that is
the essence).Scene 6 Location the 3<sup>rd</sup> act
Logline: When Travis believes he will
die in the shoot outEssence: Travis survives shoot out and
becomes a hero. And he turns his life around. Essence of situation<title></title><style type=”text/css”>
</style>-
Beth,
I believe that so far you are the only one to put a finger on “essence of situation”.
This is a bit more complex because situations must have backstory and projections of how the characters at play might act out their expectations and ambitions to have impact on the story and each other in ways that control outcomes in order for it to be a challenging situation.
Essence of situation is why Luke Skywalker lost a hand.
On a humorous note it is probably why there has never been a sequel to Sophie’s Choice (she’d just pick the other one).
I think in writing scripts there are many “Sophie’s Choices.” A Sophie’s choice is “used in reference to a difficult situation in which a person must choose between two equally deserving alternatives (Google)”.
Perhaps the means of making the difficult writing choices we must make between all of the possible alternatives might be to learn the essence of the situations.
Good on you, Beth! I would not have consider this without you. Thank you so very much.
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Like Leah, I, too, found this an eye-opener. It’s very easy to overlook “Situation” in favor of our “Characters.” In Dramatica Theory, there is an attempt to get us to see in terms of Story Elements instead of People or things. Instead of seeing, say, Luke Skywalker, we focus on the “Pursuit” element (which is the “action characteristic” role of the Protagonist, as opposed to its “decision characteristic,” which is “Consider”). By doing this, we can better see the core of the character — his OR her OR its (for things) essence. When Luke gets caught up in simply swinging a lightsaber (his action characteristic), he gets into trouble. When he finally listens to his mentor and pushes the computer aside (his consider characteristic), he becomes complete. Every element has two sides to it, and that’s a huge part of the Essence — everything is in tension — Protagonist vs. Antagonist, etc., etc., etc.
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Gene,
Thank you for sharing this insight.
I’m going to think it over for a bit because you offer a lot in what you are saying.
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Creative Mastery Lesson 1 Assignment
Terry Finds The Essence
What I learned: Defining/clarifying the scene’s essence first, will provide more power and flexibility to brainstorm/create the scene’s expression, rather than the other way around.
Script I choose: The Man Who Invented Christmas
Scene 1 Location: Opening Scene (p1-3)
Logline: Dickens describes his Oliver Twist American Tour experiences in a letter to friend while getting dressed to go out on stage in front of another American audience.
Essence: Dickens basks in wild literary acclaim that extends far beyond his native land and maybe his comfort.Scene 2 Location: Act 1 (p11-15)
Logline: Thirteen months later with 3 flops and bad reviews Dickens now needs to produce a new bestseller’s first chapter by the end of the year to cover his latest publishers’ advance.Essence: Dickens has fallen from grace, in debt, out of ideas, experiencing massive writer’s block with no end in sight.
Scene 3 Location: Act 2 (p26-28)
Logline: When Dickens pitches his Christmas Story concept to his publishers and they fail to see his story vision as profitable nor the Christmas timeline doable, he rips up their advance and sets out to publish it himself.
Essence: Dickens’ pitch and walking out is a culmination of his recent experiences of humanity at their worst and his renewed passion to inspire and remind people of Christmas’s meaning.Scene 4 Location: Act 2 (p55-55A)
Logline: The Ghost of Christmas Past comes for Scrooge but it’s Dickens who takes the journey.
Essence: Scrooge can’t become anything more until Dickens does.Scene 5 Location: Act 3 (p91-95)
Logline: Dickens faces his childhood demons at the Blacking Factory where he was forced into child labor because of his Father’s debts.
Essence: It is only when Dickens has his transformation that is he able to write Scrooge’s transformation and create a memorable ending.My selection for most profound essence:
48 INT. STUDY – NIGHT 48
Dickens and Scrooge stare at a ghostly figure (looking a good
deal like Tara), dressed in white, wearing a wreath on her
head. She stands by the window where the muslin curtains
float eerily around her in the wind.
SCROOGE
Tell him who you are.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
The Ghost gestures towards the window.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST (CONT’D)
Follow.
SCROOGE
It’s awfully late and I’m not quite
dressed.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
Follow.
Scrooge draws back.
SCROOGE
Not bloody likely.
DICKENS
Why?
SCROOGE
Mucking around in the past? What’s
the point?
DICKENS
You might learn something.
SCROOGE
I already know everything I need to
know.
(to the Ghost)
Take him, why don’t you?
DICKENS
Me?
SCROOGE
If you’re so keen.
The ghost turns her gaze to Dickens.
DICKENS
It’s not about me.
SCROOGE
You’re the author aren’t you?
Dickens looks at the ghost, fearful. He doesn’t move. The
Ghost turns to look at the slightly ajar window, which now
SLAMS wide open.
Essence: Scrooge can’t become anything more until Dickens does.
Why I believe that is the essence: Because Scrooge does.
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Terry,
I’m seeking to learn something from each posting.
Here is my lesson from you:
Brainstorming essence before creating scenes offers greater flexibility in brainstorming the essence that tethers two character together – such as the hero and villain.
Thanks.
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Joy Geldard-Smith Finds the Essence
What I’ve learned is…That the essence of a scene is key to moving things forward and to helping write with purpose.
Script I choose: Legally Blonde
Scene 1 Location: Inciting Incident
Logline: Elle thinks she is going to be proposed to but is actually getting dumped.
Essence: Everyone underestimates Elle because of her appearance, even her boyfriend.Scene 2 Location: Plot Point
Logline: Elle wanted to go to a mixer, but instead meets a few of her classmates in the garden and they have nothing in common.
Essence: Elle doesn’t belong at Harvard Law.Scene 3 Location: Midpoint
Logline: In two linked scenes, Elle shows up Warner and is asked by a Professor if she’s applying for an internship.
Essence: Elle is becoming a lawyer – and able to match or beat Warner.Scene 4 Location: End of Act 2
Logline: Emmett and Elle disagree about whether Brooke is innocent, and Elle talks about the law firm she wants to set up.
Essence: Elle is changing and making big plans for her future that include her practicing law.Scene 5 Location: Climax
Logline: Elle has just won the case for Brooke and Warner has said he wants her back – everything she wanted – only for her to reject Warner.
Essence: Elle’s has turned into a serious lawyer while retaining the person she always was.My selection for most profound essence: Scene 5, Outside the Courthouse.
EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS – DAY – LATER
Elle looks up at the courthouse as the sun sets behind it.
She smiles, proud of herself.
WARNER (O.S.)
You were amazing today.
She turns and finds Warner.
ELLE
Thank you.
He moves closer.
WARNER
It made me realize something. I’ m an
idiot.
ELLE
Really?
He turns on the charm.
WARNER
I want to be with you, Elle. Forever.
He pulls her close, hand around her waist, kissing her. She
looks up at him, a trace of the old love in her eyes. For a
moment, she melts.
ELLE
I want to be with you, too, Warner.
After a moment, she steps back, removing his hand from her
waist and wrenching it behind his back.
ELLE (CONT’D)
In court. On opposing sides.
WARNER
(shocked)
Are you serious?
ELLE
Huh. Imagine that. Looks like I am.
She walks down the steps. Warner watches her go, then turns
to see Sarah, who’s witnessed the entire episode. She glares
at him, then walks past.
WARNER
Sarah — hold on.
She shoves him, knocking him on his ass, then rushes to .catch
up with Elle.
SARAH
(calling out)
Elle, wait up —
Elle turns.
SARAH (CONT’D)
(continuing; sheepish)
I ‘ m a bitch.
ELLE
Yes, you are.
SARAH
And Donovan’s a-scumbag for coming on to
You.
ELLE
Yes, he is.
They look at each other in a silent truce.
SARAH
So — can we drink that champagne when I
get back from the pawnshop?
She pulls off her engagement ring.
ELLE
You’re pawning The Rock?!
SARAH
Hell, yes. We’ve got finals to study
for. In Jamaica.
She smiles and heads off. Elle smiles, processing this as
Emmett approaches Elle.
EMMETT
Up for a celebration dinner?
ELLE
Are you asking me on a date?
EMMETT
As long as you realize I’m not just some
man-toy you can show off like a trophy.
ELLE
(joking)
Then, forget it. Besides, I have an early
class tomorrow.
EMMETT
So Friday at eight?
She smiles at him.
(CONTINUED)
ELLE
Perfect.
She heads down the stairs, stops and thinks a moment, then
runs back up —
— Grabbing Emmett in a hellacious KISS. He kisses her back.
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Joy,
For some reason, your posting made me think of the audience.
Here is what I’ve gained from your response:
Essence must move the audience forward with the story and characters because of the purpose being experienced by the audience.
Thank you.
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BRENDA BODDY – FINDS THE ESSENCE
What I learned is that scenes should have a purpose, and if we can share that purpose in a way that pulls in the reader’s feelings, then we can elevate the script.
Script I chose: TITANIC
Scene 1 location: EXT. POOP DECK – NIGHT
Logline: Rose feels so downtrodden, that she runs across the deck and crawls over the rail, thinking about ending it all, but Jack talks her down and gets her back to safety.
Essence: The writer demonstrates, through action and dialogue, that Rose feels like a prisoner to her life and the course it is taking, but she doesn’t want to kill herself. She just wants a way out.
Scene 2 location: EXT. BOAT DECK – DAY
Logline: Rose wants to apologize and thank Jack for his discretion, feels attracted to him, realizing that he is attracted to her.
Essence: The writer uses Jack’s artwork to show his understanding and interest in his subjects, a plant that is used later when he sketches Rose.
Scene 3 location: INT. A-DECK FOYER – NIGHT
Logline: When the other men leave to smoke cigars and talk, Rose follows a note from Jack and meets him in the foyer, ultimately taking her to a party where folks have ‘real’ fun.
Essence: After several scenes of getting to know each other, this scene has Jack looking handsome and at his best and shows her heart falling for him. Later, seeing him standing and waiting for her is a memory she cherishes.
Scene 4 location: EXT. TITANIC – DAY
Logline: Rose searches out Jack and finds him in the bow of the ship, where he pulls her forward and places her in such a way that she feels like she is truly free, a moment that seals her love to him forever.
Essence: After Rose has tried to pull back from Jack, at her mother’s bidding, she finally decides to go after her happiness and love. This scene shows them in sync with their feelings.
Scene 5 location: INT. ROSE’S SUITE – DAY
Logline: After feeling repressed and pushed into a loveless marriage, Rose commits to Jack, expressing her anger at her mom and fiancé by letting Jack draw a picture of her.
Essence: The writer uses this scene as a poignant expression of Jack’s love for Rose through his art.
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Brenda,
I appreciate the attention you bring to the importance of elevating emotions as we experience in this scene from the Titanic.
If a function of essence is to clarify purpose, perhaps the intention of purpose in a screenplay is to elevate emotions or, in other words, create a range of emotions. These elevated ranges of emotions are a means of evaluating the effectiveness of a script.
I will always remember this. Thank you very much.
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Heather Finds the Essence
What I learned is: the essence changes from scene to scene.
Script I choose: The Grey
Scene 1 Location: INT. WRECKED FUSELAGE – NIGHT
Logline: LEWENDEN dies
Essence: We need to embrace the truth that death comes for us all.Scene 2 Location: EXT. OUTSIDE FUSELAGE – NIGHT
Logline: Luttinger steps outside to pee. A WOLF rockets out of the darkness– right into his belly. ANOTHER WOLF– shoots down, locks on to Luttinger’s throat, tearing the sound from it– nobody hears him die.
Essence: Death comes for us when we least expect it, like a wolf from the darkness.Scene 3 Location: EXT. DEEPER FOREST – LATER – NIGHT
Logline: Pike takes his anger out on everyone and almost gets everyone killed because they are brawling’. The wolf attacks. They band together and kill it.
Essence: Life is full of unpleasant people. Learn to deal with them. Don’t get distracted from your goals.Scene 4 Location: EXT: CLIFFSIDE – DAY
Logline: The party decide to leap across a ravine into trees instead of looking for a way down. Talget lets his fear of heights get the better of him.
Essence: If you want to live don’t give in to your fears.Scene 5 Location: EXT. RIVER BANK – LATER STILL
Logline: Pike is dying and can’t walk any further…
Essence: Sometimes you have to know when to let goPIKE (cont’d) …to be able to choose…to greet it…and go gracefully. (a nod to the mountains) …I feel like that’s all for me… (long pause) …that this is the place to let it go…
Pike stares up at Ottway.
PIKE (cont’d) (to Ottway) You know about this…how this feels…where I’m at right now.
Ottway nods. Pike nods back.
PIKE (cont’d) I just feel…completely fucking alive.
Pike looks at both men, smiles.
PIKE (cont’d) …man is it something..
My selection for most profound essence:
At the bottom of the tree where Talget has fallen and the wolves have dragged him away, Ottway says to the others:
“Don’t think about fighting them. Just– let it go to your muscle. If they’re on you, if you’re down– don’t think about dying. Just– let it go to your blood– just fucking fight. If you die, you die, just– let your body fight. (off their silence) It’ll fight, trust me…It’ll fight even after you think you’re dead.”
Why – Ottway has gone from wanting to kill himself in the first Act to being the one responsible for keeping everyone alive. It’s a completely ironic position for him because he believes himself a complete failure for abandoning his pregnant girlfriend. (You have to have read the story “Ghost Walker” to understand the story, it’s not really explained in the movie The part that got cut is the helicopter landing and rescuing him.)
On the surface the story is about a bunch of rough oil patch drillers crashing in the Alaska wilderness trying to survive attacking wolves as they hike out to civilization. Underneath all that is a really heavy allegory about life and death, with death being shown as analogous to an unexpected wolf attack, and our journey through life as a bitter struggle against the wilderness. Each one of the Characters represents an aspect of ourselves on the journey. I particularly love the dialogue because it’s written like rough guys (so unlike me they’re almost speaking another language).
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Heather,
I agree with you. The essence changes from scene to scene.
Very succinct and memorable and true.
I suppose this ebb and flow and even reversals of essence is what creates the energy of the story. Taking it further, I think that this energy must embody and even personify the genres that are woven into the story.
Thanks. You just taught me something.
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Susan Finds the Essence
What I learned is that brilliant scenes contain layer of depth and also reinforce the entire script’s thesis.
Script I choose: The Whale
Scene 1 Location: Page 3
Logline: Nearly dying from unsuccessful masturbating, Charlie asks a visiting missionary to read lines from an essay to him.
Essence: Charlie’s loneliness is magnified, with no one to share his love or his death with. He grasps for meaning in a mysterious essay about authors distracting us from sad lives.Scene 2 Location: Page 12
Logline: Using humor, Charlie deflects Liz’s joke about knifing him by saying that his internal organs are two feet in at least.
Essence: Charlie is laying it all out here: his obesity functions as a protective shield against the constant threatening pain of life.Scene 3 Location: Page 28
Logline: Charlie apologetically tells Liz about his recent encounter with his daughter, Ellie.
Essence: Even though Ellie is abusive, truly horrid, toward Charlie, he shows her nothing but generosity and compassion and concern. Liz’s interpretation is that Charlie’s seeming sainthood stems from his feelings of not being worthy of Ellie’s respect or forgiveness. Liz scoffs at Charlie’s “weakness” at the same time as she enables his death by filling his home with junk food.Scene 4 Location: Page 53
Logline: Liz explains to Thomas (the missionary) how Charlie’s partner died of self-imposed starvation because he was rejected from the New Life religion.
Essence: The writer uses religion and food (and later Ellie’s behavior) to show stark dichotomies of perception. Religion, food, and behavior stand alone; it is the character’s interpretation and use of them that creates our reality.Scene 5 Location: Page 90
Logline: Charlie is telling his writing students that nothing matters but honesty.
Essence: This entire script is brutal in its honesty, with characters talking without inhibition, hurting each other with their words and actions. Charlie is honest with how he views himself, but not how he views others. His insistence on seeing others as “amazing,” no matter how evil they are, makes him hate himself even more.My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is
the essence).CHARLIE I did. (pause) I’ve wanted to see you for so long, Ellie. I wanted to be a part of your life, I wanted to reach out. Pause. ELLIE stares down, not looking at him. ELLIE So why didn’t you? Pause. CHARLIE Look at me, Ellie, I don’t–. Who would want me to be a part of their life? Pause. ELLIE finally looks at him.
The essence here is to examine the damage from people making decisions based on their own presumptions rather than talking to the person involved, especially when those presumptions are coming from a place of dishonesty. I believe it is the essence because Ellie hates Charlie because he abandoned her, and he abandoned her because he assumed she would hate him. Charlie wanting to protect Ellie from himself actually is what turned her into an evil person, which he refuses to see. While Charlie, throughout the script, views honesty as the highest good, his dishonesty, mostly to himself via his refusal to see reality, including his own worth, causes the most damage.
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Susan,
Thank you for emphasizing the importance of the “entire script’s thesis”.
While a writer’s goal is to deliver maximum entertainment through various expressions of the movie’s concept, we can go deeper by presenting truths available within the context of the story.
Personally, when the poetic distractions of human emotion and clever wording fade away I still recall when a story delivers truth. What I really am enjoying about this course is that it seems to be encouraging a kind of discovery of truth, an elixir, that is contained in each scene. However, the challenge is to experiment with so many options and then create the flavor of those elixirs by distilling the entire story from an essence. I am thinking this is why knowing the essence can move each scene to new levels. Ethereal and intangible concepts can be given mortality in the life of each story. And the truths found in each story can live on within each person who ingests the story’s essence.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Bernadine finds the essence.
What I learned is that the essence is the core, the truth you are trying to get at in the scene. And that when a scene gets “boring” or when a writer did not know what they were trying to accomplish, it had something to do with the lack of essence in the scene they have written.
Script I chose: The Blind Slide (2009)
Scene 1 Location : Wingate School Grounds
Logline: Big Tony approaches Cotton about interviewing Steven and Micheal for the school and the football team.
Essence: Steven is a sure thing, but Micheal is a diamond in the rough; they come as a package deal.
Scene 2 Location: Wingate Gymnasium
Logline: Big Mike bending down picking up any bags of leftover popcorn to eat.
Essence: Big Mike will scrounge for food when he sees an opportunity.
Scene 3 Location: Small Adjacent Room
Logline: Mrs. Boswell takes Big Mike to a small room, and verbally dictates the test to him with clarification of words and terms.
Essence: Mrs. Boswell tries something different with Micheal and sees a spark.
Scene 4 Location: Street Night
Logline: Leigh Anne and SJ notice Micheal walking in front of their BMW in shorts in winter.
Essence: Leigh Anne having seen Micheal many times now, finds out his situation and insists he come home with her and her family.
Scene 5 Location: Tuohy House – Kitchen
Logline: SJ and Sean attempt to help Micheal diagram sentence structures by using football analogies, as Leigh Anne watch them afar off.
Essence: Sean pre coaches Big Mike using football strategies to help him understand sentence structure and hopefully later, football.
My selection for the most profound scene is Scene 3 because Mrs. Boswell was willing to try something different to help Big Mike. That extra effort caused him to feel safe and when she provided that she discovered what knowledge he knew and retained on the test.
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Bernandine,
My goal is to learn something from each posting and here is what your posting brings to my mind:
Thank you for bringing focus to the core.
It is easy to get lost in all the peripheral concerns that buzzes around writing a script.
But by knowing the core essence all the distractions can be quieted and focus can be given to what matters most for each scene.
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Lesson 1: Understanding Essence
Jo Finds The Essence
What I Learned: Essence is the core meaning of a scene; it is the trunk which holds the branches of action, etc.; not all scenes will have a profound essence; identifying the essence is necessary for taking writing to a higher level; the concept of essence transfers to all genres where great writing is desired.
Script I chose: “Nebraska” by Robert W. Nelson
Scene 1 Location: Page 51—The Steakhouse
Logline: Woody stands as the crowd applauds him for becoming a millionaire
Essence: Positive recognition is a once in a lifetime experience for Woody
Scene 2 Location: Page 70—A cornfield at Woody’s childhood home
Logline: David asks Woody if he could do life over would he choose to farm
Essence: Woody knows he cannot change the past
Scene 3 Location: Page 76—Blinker Tavern
Logline: Ed Pegram duns Woody for some of the money Woody has won
Essence: Woody’s friends believe they are entitled to a handout
Scene 4 Location: Page 77—Blinker Tavern
Logline: Woody’s precious sweepstakes letter is stolen by two nephews
who attack him
Essence: Woody’s hopes are dashed
Scene 5 Location: Page 79—Blinker Tavern
Logline: Ed Pegram reads aloud Woody’s sweepstakes letter as the occupants laugh
Essence: Woody is humiliated
My selection for the most profound essence: My computer & printer are not communicating so I am unable to reproduce a section of the script. However, I chose the final scenes from pages 89 through 91. Here David allows Woody to drive David’s newly purchased pickup with a new Sears air compressor in the box. Woody is sporting his new cap that says Sweepstakes Winner. Woody, with a proud expression, drives down Mainstreet for all to see. Ed Pegram steps out of the Tavern in time to witness Woody in the new truck. Woody is redeemed.
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Jo,
Here is what I am learning from your post.
I agree that the essence itself selects the genres and that the genres must be true to the essence.
I think this is what roots the foundation of the story into the story world.
Thank you for reminding me.
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Roger
Roger Finds The Essence
What I learned is — These perspectives (essence) is far removed from my “normal” writing — technical/analytic. Thus I am behind. I’m learning to expand my horizons — my initial horizons — feeling; action; situation (opinions). However the assignment lists these differently: Concept; Story; Situation; Character; Conflict; Action; and Dialogue.
Roger Puts Essence to Work
SCRIP ONE I CHOSE: HEAT
LOCATION: Office in a financial company.
LOGLINE 1: Business transaction falls terribly apart. Character 1 calls Character 2. “you can keep your money” and “I’m speaking to a dead man”.
I’VE DISCOVERED — Every scene can be presented differently differently
LOGLINE 2:When running risky business dealings — reactions can go terribly awry.
—
LOCATION: Upscale hotel room.
LOGLINE 1: Prostitute learns how not to treat a dangerous client,
I’VE DISCOVERED — Describing scenes is not the way to find the essence.
LOGLINE 2: Danger spins over to police, crooks and public. The stakes keep getting worse.
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LOCATION: Kitchen in a small coffee shop.
LOGLINE 1: Hard working cook, Excon on probation is abused by employer. Entire shop is filled by unhappy workers and customers. Cook is presented with dangerous job — he leaves. (Anything is better tha here).
I’VE DISCOVERED: Up the anti and anything can happen.
LOGLINE 2: Anger and despair grow inside shop — pushing to boiling point, Character cracks, making a dangerous choice.
…
LOCATION: Nighttime: Side of road, Car is pulled over by a cop car.
LOGLINE: Cop approaches driver side window. Driver and Cop now recognize each other. A long time feud — “good” versus “bad”. Could go any direction. They meet at neutral location. Both “Good” and “Bad” say how this will end.
I’VE DISCOVERED: Looking below the surface reveals more ways to “go”,
PS — This class is frankly very difficult. I find technical subjects SO much easier!
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Roger,
I am hoping to learn something from each posting.
Here are is my response to your posting.
First of all, I don’t think you are behind and, in fact, I believe you are ahead. Why? Because more than anyone in this group you shared your personal “essence” when you introduced yourself. Straight up. Forthright. Honest. So, you actually already identify essence innately.
Technical subjects may provide easier protection in public discourse with numerous escape hatches to avoid personal disclosures, but you know vulnerability. You’ve experienced permanent change. This means you can trust yourself to dig in and find the essence of the scenes in your stories that we all need.
Yes, this is difficult. But more than being difficult, it is simply different to be invited to stand in the raw and say this is me. My life. My stories. And then discover you are seen and you are heard. Why? Because you are needed.
So just know this pep talk is as much for me as it is for you. LOL
Go Roger!
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Leo Sopicki Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there are universal connections and emotions that we all have and usually keep hidden. A good script brings the human feelings to the surface, whether you want them to rise or not.
Script I choose: Field of Dreams
I saw this film in the early 1990s, a few months after my father passed away. I chose this script because my daughter reminded me it was the only time she had seen me cry while watching a movie.
Scene 1 Location: Beginning of Act I
Logline: Montage of Ray’s life before the film
Essence: Establishes Ray’s two most important relationships: his father and his wife, Annie.
Scene 2 Location: Scene 38 near end of Act I.
Logline: Ray and Annie look at completed field with lights on.
Essence: Ray admits he has just done something “totally illogical”, but Annie still loves him anyway.
Scene 3 Location: Scene 61, page 31, first part of Act II.
Logline: Annie’s relatives visit and try to talk her and Ray out of keeping the ball field.
Essence: Ray and Annie realize that only they, and their daughter Karin, can see the players on the field.
Scene 4 Location: Scene 101, page 70, second half of Act II.
Logline: Annie doesn’t tell Ray that her brother is threatening to foreclose on the farm.
Essence: Annie’s support for Ray remains strong even though they might lose everything.
Scene 5 Location: End of Act III
Logline: Ray and the spiritual reincarnation of his father, John, talk on the field.
Essence: Ray reconnects with his father.
My selection for most profound essence: Scene 5
RAY AND JOHN watch them for a while, then start to ,stroll across the field.
RAY
You catch a good game.
Thank you. JOHN It’s so beautiful here. It’s like, well for me, it’s like a dream come true.
Ray cannot speak. He nods.
JOHN
Can I ask you something?
Again, Ray nods.
JOHN
Is this heaven?
Ray smiles and shakes his head no.
RAY
It’s Iowa.
JOHN
Iowa. I could’ve sworn this was heaven.
RAY stops and looks intently at John. He asks this question as if he were asking the secret of life. Maybe he is.
RAY
Is there a heaven?
JOHN takes time to answer that. He looks up at the night sky and searches it.
JOHN
Oh, yeah….
Then he looks square into Ray’s eyes.
JOHN
Heaven’s where dreams come true.
RAY looks toward he house and sees his wife and daughter on the veranda, above them. He smiles. He finally understands. He turns and nods. back to John.
RAY
Then maybe this is heaven.
JOHN smiles wisely in return.
JOHN
Well … good night, Ray.
RAY
Good night.
John starts to walk off toward the door in the outfield fence.
RAY
Hey!
John turns back. Ray is holding a ball.
RAY
You wanna have a catch?
John closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them; there is the hint of moisture. Does he know Ray is his son?
JOHN
I’d like that.
Ray tosses him the ball, picks up a glove lying there, and puts it on.
They throw the ball back and forth.
And as we pull up higher and higher we see a father and son bathed by white floodlights and car headlights … on the silent, satiny green of a baseball diamond at the edge of a cornfield.
FADE OUT
Essence: Ray reconnects with his father. It is the essence because it pays off the entire film. This is probably the part where, years and years ago, I cried. My father and I only played catch one time. I can’t be the only one who misses his father. This was the essence.
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Leo,
I love your clarification that essence connects with universal experiences.
Stories do provide a place to say “I miss my father” or “I am loved.”
Simple statements, but as Yanni points out it is often the simple everyday things that come to mean to most.
Thx.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
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What I’ve learned is a re-enforcement of the notion that, quite often, the essence of any particular scene is or should be in alignment with the essence of the story as a whole and that the scripts that follow this path tend to be the ones that are most engaging and of a higher quality. It also reminded me of the various perspectives and ways different characters and circumstances can express an essence.
DANCES WITH WOLVES
Scene 1: Location: Beginning of Act 1- Army field hospital American Civil War
Logline: Lieutenant Dunbar pulls a boot onto his mangled foot before the surgeons return to amputate it.Essence: Dunbar refuses to accept his fate – he will go out on his terms even if it means enduring harrowing pain.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Scene 22: Location: Fort Hayes Headquarters Major Fambrough’s office. Frontier
Logline: Lieutenant Dunbar reports to the commanding officer for passage to his new frontier posting Fort Sedgwick, to find the Major is not well and losing his mind.
Essence: Dunbar is living life by his terms now, making sure he sees the frontier before it’s gone.Scene 73: Location: Sioux camp – Ten Bear’s Lodge
Logline: The men of the tribe discuss their plight. Their decreasing food stocks and the increasing presence of white men on their land, in particular Lieutenant Dunbar.
Essence: Times are changing for the tribe they must look at alternatives to survive. Dunbar alone in their country represents an opportunity to learn about the white man.Scene 104: Location: Fort Sedgwick
Logline: A small posie of Indians led by Kicking Bird and Wind In His Hair have travelled to the fort to ask Dunbar if he has seen any buffalo. He hasn’t and offers them food which they refuse.
Essence: Desperate times call for desperate measures, even if it means reaching out for help to Dunbar, the assumed enemy.Scene 243: Location : On the prairie
Logline: Dunbar attacks his captors as they take potshots at his wolf friend, Two Socks, as an Indian war party lies in wait to rescue their friend.
Essence: Dunbar again refuses to accept his fate. He continues to fight for what he believes in even whilst hindered by shackles.Most profound scene. Scene 1
INT. FIELD HOSPITAL TENT - DAY A black screen. The sound of a knife cutting through boot leather. Fade in on the waists of two men (THE SURGEONS) hovering around a crude operating table. In the extreme background, TWO STRETCHER BEARERS are just leaving. SURGEON 1 (O.S.) Is this the last one? One of the bearers stops and looks back. His face is numb. And he nods hollowly. We cannot see the patient stretched out on the table. But we do see that the first surgeon has succeeded in getting the man's boot off. SURGEON 2 (O.S.) God, what a mess... at least there's no gangrene. SURGEON 1 (O.S.) There will be if it doesn't come off. SURGEON 2 (O.S.) Well I can't saw if I can't keep my eyes open. Let's coffee up... he can wait a few more minutes. As the TWO SURGEONS duck through a tent flap in the background we see a mangled foot, torn by shrapnel, it oozes blood from a cut clear to the bone. LIEUTENANT JOHN J. DUNBAR'S eyes are now open. He's a young man, his features sharp and handsome. With effort, he lifts his head and searches the room. His eyes come to rest on the form of a legless man lying in bloodsoaked sheets. He's whimpering like a child. Dunbar comes to a sitting position on the operating table. As his eyes move around the room they come to rest on a crate filled with the boots of men who have lost their legs. A cane travels through space and deftly hooks one of the boots. Lieutenant Dunbar brings the boot onto the operating table. He tries to pull it on his mangled foot, but the pain makes him cry out. Deliberately he breaks the cane and sticks a piece of it between his teeth. Tears of pain are rolling down his face. A sweat has broken out on his forehead and with great determination he pulls the boot on.Scene 1: Location: Beginning of Act 1- Army field hospital American Civil War
Logline: Lieutenant Dunbar pulls a boot onto his mangled foot before the surgeons return to amputate it.Essence: Dunbar refuses to accept his fate – he will go out on his terms even if it means enduring harrowing pain.
I believe that this is the most profound scene as it sets the stage for the whole story. I can’t help but get a sense that the essence of this scene, the “never say die” mentality that Dunbar is able to draw from, is the same that he encounters with the Indians that he befriends. Throughout the story, we see characters that are faced with extreme adversity, and some aren’t able to cope with it, whilst others, like Dunbar and the Sioux Indians, are able to draw upon something deeper. In this case, Dunbar is effectively trying to kill himself, he has effectively given up, however, it is the choice that he has made to go out on his terms to endure the harrowing pain of putting on his boot and not be a slave to his circumstance that ultimately allows him to survive. This is reflected throughout the entire script.
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Tony,
You picked a great movie to identify various perspectives that can express an essence.
Lots of layers in this one.
And while these perspectives are not subtle, they are grown organically from the very first scene.
I’m going to remember this.
Thx.
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<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>
Edward Richards Finds the Essence</font><font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Without essence, scenes are like sentences without a full stop (no point!).</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Without a purpose, they are just decoration.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>THE KING’S SPEECH</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 1: Early Act 1</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Logline: Bertie (The Duke of York) has a consultation with Sir Blandine-Bentham.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Essence: Demonstrates how archaic conventional treatment is.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 2: Early Act 1</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Logline: Bertie has his first consultation with with unconventional Lionel Logue.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Essence: Lionel breaks down the barriers by insisting on christian names and betting Bertie can read flawlessly.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 3: Act 1</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Logline: George VI bullies Bertie into trying to read into a microphone.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Essence: With a likely war imminent and an elder brother who shirks his duties, the pressure ramps up on Bertie to solve his speech problem.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 4: Turn into Act 2</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Logline: Bertie plays a recording that Lionel made of his reading and discovers he doesn’t stammer.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Essence: Bertie believes that a cure might be possible – that he can ‘take arms against a sea of troubles’ that are brewing, rather than accept the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ (his stammer).</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Scene 5: Early Act 2</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Logline: When Lionel gets Bertie to sing, his stammer disappears.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Essence: Freed of his stammer, it allows Bertie to open up about his painful childhood.</font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>My selection for most profound essence:</font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>EXT. REGENT’S PARK ORNAMENTAL GARDEN – DAY</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Bertie and Logue come into view talking. Bertie with his homburg pulled low, scarf wrapped high. The park is empty and bleak on this winter’s day. One can feel the cold chill; puffs of steam punctuating their words like smoke signals.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>What’s wrong? What’s got you so</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>upset?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Logue, you have no idea. My brother</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>is infatuated with a woman who’s</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>been married twice – and she’s</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>American.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Some of them must be loveable.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>(shoots him a look)</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>She’s asking for a divorce and</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>David is determined to marry her.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Mrs Wallis Simpson of Baltimore.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>That’s not right. Queen Wallis of</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Baltimore?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Unthinkable.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Can he do that?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Absolutely not. But he’s going to</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>anyway. All hell’s broken loose.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Can’t they carry on privately?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>If only they would.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Where does that leave you?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>I know my place! I’ll do anything</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>within my power to keep my brother</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>on the throne.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Has it come to that? But the way</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>things are going, your place may be</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>on the throne.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>I am not an alternative to my</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>brother.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>If you had to you could outshine</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>David…</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Lionel reaches out and gives Bertie a pat of comfort on the shoulder. Bertie pulls back in offended shock.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Don’t take liberties! That’s</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>bordering on treason.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”2″><font size=”3″>I’m just saying you could be King.</font></font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>You could do it!</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”2″><font size=”3″>That is treason!</font></font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>They face each other, as though in combat.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>I’m trying to get you to realise</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>you need not be governed by fear.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>I’ve had enough of this!</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>What’re you afraid of?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Your poisonous words!</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>LIONEL</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Why’d you show up then? To take</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>polite elocution lessons so you can</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>chit-chat at posh tea parties?</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>BERTIE</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Don’t instruct me on my duties! I’m</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>the brother of a King…the son of</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>a King…we have a history that</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>goes back untold centuries. You’re</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>the disappointing son of a brewer!</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>57</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>(MORE)</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>A jumped-up jackeroo from the</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>outback! You’re nobody. These</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>sessions are over!</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>Bertie strides off in a fury. Lionel, equally angry, goes in the other direction. Two men moving apart in the cold wintery landscape, the ground mist rising.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>The Lionel stops. Turns.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>POV – Bertie has disappeared from view.</font></font>
<font face=”serif”><font size=”3″>CLOSE ON LIONEL as he realises…he’s no longer therapist to a man who might have to become King.</font></font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Essence: By telling Bertie the truth – that fear prevents him from accepting that his brother is a problem and that Bertie would make a better king – Lionel oversteps the mark. </font>
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>Fear lies at the heart of Bertie’s problem. He fears his brother will be a failure. Fears that he will have to step up. Fears that his attempts at public speaking will expose him as a failure to the whole world, at a time when the country most needs a strong monarch. But he’s too frightened to admit it to himself, let alone to a commoner like Lionel.</font>
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Edward,
I’m trying to learn something from each posting.
Here is what I will remember for you:
“Essence is not decorative. If it isn’t essential, it isn’t essence.”
Thx.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Leah Gunderson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
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Sorry about original post. It went in perfectly but came out a mess. The system doesn’t seem to like Open Office. So I will type it in rather than paste it:
Edward Richards Finds the Essence
Without essence, scenes are like sentences without a full stop (no point!) Without a purpose, they are just decoration.
THE KING’S SPEECH
Scene 1: Early Act 1
Logline: Bertie (the Duke of York) has a consultation with Sir Blandine-Bentham, an eminent speech therapist.
Essence: Demonstrates how archaic conventional treatment is.
Scene 2: Early Act 1
Logline: Bertie has his first consultation with unconventional Lionel Logue.
Essence: Lionel breaks down the barriers by insisting on Christian names, and betting Bertie can read flawlessly.
Scene 3: Act 1
Logline: George VI bullies Bertie into trying to read into a microphone.
Essence: With a likely war imminent and an elder brother who shirks his duties, his father ramps up the pressure on Bertie to solve his speech problem.
Scene 4: Turn into Act 2
Logline: Bertie plays a recording that Lionel made of his reading out loud, and discovers he doesn’t stammer.
Essence: Bertie believes that a cure might be possible – that he can ‘take arms against a sea of troubles’ that are brewing, rather than accept ‘the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ (his stammer)
Scene 5: Early Act 2
Logline: When Lionel gets Bertie to sing, his stammer disappears.
Essence: Freed of his stammer, it allows Bertie to open up about his painful childhood.
My selection for most profound essence:
EXT. REGENT’S PARK ORNAMENTAL GARDEN – DAY
Bertie and Lionel come inter view talking. Bertie with his Homburg pulled low, scarf wrapped high. The park is empty and bleak on this winter’s day. One can feel the cold chill. Puffs of steam punctuate the words like smoke signals.
LIONEL
What’s wrong? What’s got you so upset?
BERTIE
Logue, you have no idea. My brother is infatuated with a woman who’s been married twice – and she’s American.
LIONEL
Some of them must be loveable.
BERTIE
(shoots him a look)
She’s asking for a divorce and David is determined to marry her. Mrs Wallis Simpson of Baltimore.
LIONEL
That’s not right. Queen Wallis of Baltimore?
BERTIE
Unthinkable.
LIONEL
Can he do that?
BERTIE
Absolutely not. But he is going to anyway. All hell’s broken loose.
LIONEL
Can they carry on privately?
BERTIE
If only they would.
LIONEL
Where does that leave you?
BERTIE
I know my place! I’ll do anything within my power to keep my brother on the throne.
LIONEL
Has it come to that? But the way things are going, your place may be on the throne.
BERTIE
I am not an alternative to my brother.
LIONEL
If you had to you could outshine David….
Lionel reaches out and gives Bertie a pat of comfort on the shoulder. Bertie pulls back in offended shock.
BERTIE
Don’t take liberties! That’s bordering on treason.
LIONEL
I’m just saying you could be king. You could do it!
BERTIE
That is treason!
They face each other as though in combat.
LIONEL
I’m trying to get you to realise you need not be governed by fear.
BERTIE
I’ve had enough of this!
LIONEL
What are you afraid of?
BERTIE
Your poisonous words!
LIONEL
Why’d you show up then? To take elocution lessons so you can chitchat at posh tea parties?
BERTIE
Don’t instruct me on my duties! I am the brother of a King… the son of a King… we have a history that goes back untold centuries. You’re a disappointing son of a brewer!
(MORE)
You’re a jumped up jackaroo from the outback! You’re nobody. The sessions are over!
Bertie strides off in a fury. Lionel, equally angry, goes in the other direction. Two men moving apart in the cold wintry landscape, the ground mist rising.
Then Lionel stops. Turns. Bertie has disappeared from view.
CLOSE ON LIONEL as he realises… he’s no longer therapist to a man who might have to become king.
ESSENCE: By telling Bertie the truth – that fear prevents him from accepting his brother is a problem and that Bertie would make a better king – Lionel oversteps the mark.
Fear lies at the heart of Bertie’s problem. He feels his brother will be a failure. Fears that he will have to step up. Fears that his attempts at public speaking will expose him as a failure to the whole world, at a time when the country most needs a strong monarch. But he’s too frightened to admit it to himself, let alone to a commoner like Lionel.
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Jen Finds the Essence
What I learned doing this assignment is that there is more to these scenes that “touch” you in some way. I love The Intern and have watched it multiple times. Why is it a profound movie to me? I never really thought about the “why” until I dug for the essence. I just knew these were the scenes that made me tear up! This class is helping me to see that it is the under-the-surface aka essence things, that are making them emotional for me, not the surface things. I understand now that Jules being standoffish to Ben is bigger than just a human reacting to another because she doesn’t want him around (thinks the senior intern idea is ridiculous – on the surface) – her problem is about her “letting someone in” to her heart, her life, etc. She closes herself off (and we get a glimpse of what her mother is like and understand why, and also her suspicions about her marriage help feed this guardedness that Jules has) from others and Ben, who is so pure and sweet, has to make his way in! We are rooting for him and don’t even know why!
Scene 1 Location: INT. OFFICES
Logline: When Jules ignores Ben’s offer to help, he finds others who appreciate him and his assistance.
Essence: Ben will be a powerful ally if Jules will just let him inINT. OFFICES – THE NEXT MORNING Kiko, the one Young Female Intern, PULLS A HUGE DOLLY stacked with reams of printer paper down a row of cubicles. She’s delivering the paper to each desk. Guys in the office scoot 27. past her as she lugs the dolly forward, Ben arrives to help, pushing the dolly for her. BEN (cont’d) I’ll push, you deliver. KIKO Thank you!!! JULES – ON THE PHONE AT HER DESK notices Ben pushing the dolly as he and Kiko quickly deliver the paper. She also notices Ben is getting smiles and thanks from many of the Young Women he passes.
Scene 2 Location: INT. OFFICES
Logline: Ben cleans the office “junk desk,” Jules’ pet-peeve and she acknowledges him for the first time.
Essence: Ben, who just wants to be helpful, is working his way into Jules’ heartINT. OFFICES Jules makes her way through the office, still in her sunglasses, carrying her iPad, holding a Starbucks. As she passes the desk usually piled high with everyone’s crap she stops short. It is now a cleaned up perfectly empty cube. Those around her watch her react. JULES Okay, this is thrilling. A few people nearby laugh. Jules takes off her sunglasses. JULES (cont’d) I swear I was going stay late and do this myself. ALI Ben came in at 7 this morning and did it. JULES Who? A few others look up. She doesn’t know him? ALI Ben. Your intern. Jules cranes her neck to find Ben, doesn’t even know where to look. Candice watches from her desk and hits the P.A. CANDICE (over the P.A.) Ben Whittaker! WIDE – A SEA of CUBICLES BEN’S HEAD RISES OUT OF HIS CUBE, wondering what’s up. 34. JULES (spots him – points to the clean cubicle) Brilliant! Thank you! Best thing that’s happened around here all week. Ben raises two fingers to his forehead, saluting her from across the room. The entire office applauds.
Scene 3 Location: EXT. BUILDING
Logline: When Ben accidently discovers Jules’ driver is drinking and driving, he must insist he helps her.
Essence: He finally feels, as is, needed by Jules.EXT. BUILDING The Driver, MIKE, stands by the SUV, popping a couple of Chiclets in his mouth. Ben approaches, a bit out of breath. BEN Hey, how’s it goin’? Mike, right? MIKE Yeah. BEN I’m Ben, I work for Jules. MIKE (not much eye contact) She’ll be down in a minute. BEN I know, look, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but I just happened to have looked out the window and it appeared you were drinking something from a bag, so — 37. LEWIS (cont’d) MIKE (heading for the car) I don’t know what you’re talking about Pops. BEN (sees Jules heading out) Why don’t you tell Jules you can’t drive her today or I’m gonna have to. Jules arrives, sees Mike and Ben. JULES (to Mike) We all good? MIKE Yeah. Mike opens the rear passenger door, Jules gets in. As Mike is about to close the door, he looks up, sees Ben has moved closer. MIKE (cont’d) — Jules… (She looks up at him) Sorry to do this, but I’m actually not feelin’ so hot — not sure I should be driving. Wouldn’t want to give you anything. JULES Oh, sure, yeah. No, take the day off and feel better, okay? Mike thanks Jules and EXITS. Jules immediately washes her hands with Purell, checks her watch. BEN (O.S.) I’m happy to cover for Mike.. JULES (Jules looks up, sees Ben at the open door, holding the car keys) That’s okay, Becky can drive me. BEN Really?
Scene 4 Location: INT. SUV – MOVING
Logline: After Ben even gains approval from Jules’ family, she betrays him by asking for him to be transferred.
Essence: Jules is afraid to let Ben in.INT. SUV – MOVING – DAY Paige sits in her car-seat looking at a book. Jules is next to her, on her iPad, answering e-mails. BEN Matt seems like a terrific guy. (Jules looks up) Sorry didn’t mean to interrupt. 54. JULES (back to her e-mails) That’s okay. I agree. He is. PAIGE Who? The Dad? JULES (laughs, then to Ben) That’s what the other kids call him because he’s the only Dad in a sea of Moms. BEN I’ve read about these househusbands. Interesting, how that all worked just now. JULES They actually prefer to be called Stay-at-Home Dads. BEN Oh, sorry. Did not know that. Well, it’s very admirable. He’s a real 21st century father. JULES Yes, he is, which beats my 20th Century father, by a long shot. (stops typing) Matt had a really good job in marketing but when CTF took off, he left to be a full-time Dad. Saved our butts. Jules and Ben’s eyes meet in the rear view mirror. Ben nods, not wanting to go on too much about this. Jules returns to her iPad. Writes an EMAIL TO CANDICE. JULES EMAIL C – Love if you would transfer Ben to another team. K? (looks outside) Oh. We’re here big girl!
Scene 5 Location: INT. OFFICES
Logline: Jules makes a real connection with Ben, but she has already asked him to be moved.
Essence: She has made a big mistake, but doesn’t realize it yet.INT. OFFICES – SAME TIME The place is nearly empty. Jules is working alone in her Conference Room, takes a bite of a slice of pizza. She notices Ben, way across the field of desks, also eating. ANGLE – BEN Typing slowly at his computer and eating a Subway. He notices Jules approaching, carrying a pizza box and two bottles of beer. He wonders where she’s headed. JULES (arrives at his desk) I hate eating alone. BEN So do I. Jules offers Ben a beer, pulls up a chair. 62. JULES I swiped these from the tech fridge. BEN Nice goin’. (toasts her) Cheers. JULES Want a slice? BEN Sure. Thanks. (treading lightly) I noticed a couple of hours ago you had a meeting with another possible CEO. Saw him arrive. How’d that go? JULES Was going well until he called us, I believe the term he used was a “chick site.” Then I didn’t hear anything he said after that. BEN Nooo. JULES Apparently selling “clothes” makes us a chick site. I mean, really? How is this not legit? BEN Couldn’t agree more. I find that… surprising. JULES Sexism in business? Really? (takes a swig of her beer) What did you do for work Ben, before you retired? BEN I was a VP for Dex One. JULES … Phone books? BEN I was in charge of printing, before that ran sales and advertising. JULES So big jobs… (Ben nods) Wait, wasn’t this a factory that 63. (MORE) made phone books..? (Ben smiles…) No! What? This is where you worked? BEN For almost forty years. (Jules can’t believe it) For twenty-some years I sat right by that window. That was my office. It was up a few steps back then. I could look out over the whole factory. Our printing presses were in that corner. That’s why the floor dips back there. JULES Nooooo…. BEN I know everything about this building. Or used to. You know the Sycamores out front? JULES Yeah, I love them. BEN I remember the day they were planted. JULES (wipes a tear) Is it totally weird being back here? BEN No, feels like home. Remodeled but home. JULES (takes a sip of beer, notices Ben’s screen) So you’re on Facebook, huh? BEN Well, I’m trying to figure it out. I joined ten minutes ago. JULES Better late than never. Want some help? BEN I’d love some but, really, you don’t have to waste your time. 64. JULES (cont’d) JULES — I need a diversion. You have a photo of yourself? BEN No, do I need one? JULES (takes out her phone) If you want to find all those hotties from high school. Hold on. (takes Ben’s photo, looks at it) Cute. I’ll send it to you. Okay, now there’s these questions for your profile that you can answer if you want or not. (scans them) Religious beliefs, political beliefs, people who inspire you… BEN Jules Ostin. (Jules shoots him a look) I’m not trying to brown-nose you, but I’ve been in business a long time and have never run across anyone quite like you. You do inspire, Jules. JULES You know what? I just knew a woman at the end of the day with a glass of wine and a laptop had real shopping potential. And if we actually promise her things would fit… BEN See — that’s what I mean. JULES (changing subject, reads his screen) Okay do you have a favorite quote? BEN I do. You’re never wrong to do the right thing. JULES Who said that — you? BEN Yes, but Mark Twain said it first. Jules laughs as she types the quote into Ben’s profile. 65. JULES Favorite music? BEN Oh, jeez. Sam Cooke — one my all time faves. Love Miles Davis, Billie Holiday… JULES She was great, huh? Hold on… (goes on iTunes) What’s your favorite song of hers? BEN These Foolish Things. Jules buys the song and it BEGINS. JULES Transports you, doesn’t it? BEN Every time. JULES Okay. Books? BEN Love Clancy. Ludlum. Crazy about Harry Potter. JULES (types those in) Matt loves Harry Potter too. JULES (cont’d) What about your status? Married, single…? BEN Widower. JULES Oh, I’m sorry. I think we should say single then… Okay, now you know what you need? (Ben looks to her) Someone to friend. BEN I’ll be friends with the other interns. They’ll show me how to do it the morning. JULES You can friend me. 66. BEN Thank you. Jules types in her name and confirms. JULES Okay, congrats — you’re now part of the Facebook generation. (finishes her beer, rises) I’ve got about another hour of work. You good with that? BEN Of course. This was great, Jules. JULES Yeah, nice to have an adult conversation with an adult man. You know what I mean, not about work and not about… BEN I know what you mean. Jules nods and awkwardly waves, heading back.
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