• Monica Arisman

    Member
    January 12, 2023 at 7:27 pm

    Subject: Monica’s Dialogue Structures

    Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.

    What I learned from doing this assignment is dialogue structures which I don’t think I really knew. And I really don’t understand how to do this.

    2. Identify all the scenes in your script that could be driven by the dialogue.

    Identified about six scenes to elevate. It’s going to take me awhile as I need to find more examples of these structures. I can do the sub-text but the others not so much.

  • Lynn Vincentnathan

    Member
    January 17, 2023 at 1:08 am

    Lynn’s Dialogue Structures

    VISION: I am determined to become a great screenwriter capable of getting my screenplays in various genres produced into movies that inspire vast audiences to mitigate climate change.

    THE PITCH: WEATHERING IT (Rom-Com) is about two college students who struggle to overcome family fights about global warming, then try to get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.

    I LEARNED that I had already used these dialogue structures in my screenplay, mostly to increase the humor, but now I understand what they are and will be able to consciously apply them in the future. I will also be looking for other scenes in which I can apply these.

    =====================================

    A. Setup / Major Twist

    In SCENE 13C, Jim is really into Ellie’s Uncle Layo’s off-grid ranch (and Ellie is thinking Jim could settle with her on the ranch, as she promised Layo she would do), but at the scene’s end it turns out Layo’s nemesis is Jim’s uncle, to whom Jim is heavily obligated. Juliet finding out Romeo is a Montague.

    In SCENE 36, When Jim is into heavy love making & backs out saying he can’t go through with it. Ellie thinks he means sex and says she’s not objecting, but what he means is he’s calling off the marriage.

    B. Opposite Meanings in Dialogue

    In SCENE 22 Jim is worried that Ellie has drifted to Gecko and Ellie wants to call off the relationship with Jim over the wager Mack made with Jim re whether he could get Ellie in bed. Ellie clears up she was simply consoling Gecko. Jim thinks it’s okay, but Ellie is still upset, thinking she found out he had dated Jen. So they have different views of reality, reflected in their dialogue and creating humor. This blow up between them leads to a big make-up, profession of love, and proposal of marriage at scene’s end.

    In SCENE 30 Jim’s Uncle Fred thinks the couple have been dating for years and blames Ellie for getting Jim into eco-things. The couple worry that Fred will think because they have not dated for very long, he’ll be against the match, so they struggle to make him realize it is true love. In the next scene, Jim finally understands Fred’s view and disabuses him of it, saying he was into eco-things well before he met Ellie.

    C. Subtext Drives the Meaning

    In SCENE 1C — THE SETUP Mack tells Jim about his intention to hit on Ellie: “Jim! It looks complicated, man, like climbing Mount Everest. I’ll bet you twenty you freeze to death before reaching summit.” Then in SCENES 11B, 19B, 22, and 49 mention of Mt. Everest, mountain climbing, and/or the wager surface and create uncomfortable moments/humor in those scenes.

    D. Deeper Layer Opposes Dialogue

    In SCENE 12, Jim’s at Ellie’s apt on their first non-date of their non-relationship/situationship when his mom calls. He not only covers up to her that he’s at Ellie’s by saying he’s in the library studying, but also hides his mom’s mention of his obligation to Uncle Fred from Ellie. The deeper layer is he wants to get into a strong relationship with Ellie which opposes his light-hearted and jovial dialogue both with Ellie and his mom.

    Not sure if this fits here, but in SCENE 13A Layo shows his alt energy inventions to the clubbers. To make it humorous I added Strauss’s FANFARE from ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA (used in 2001 Space Odyssey) — the music meaning “this is really important stuff” when he shows them somewhat humorously Cassy, the compressed air system he made from a sixteen-foot storage tank in his silo.

    ———————

    Will be looking at possibly using more of these “dialog structures” in other scenes to elevate my script.

  • Frances Emerson

    Member
    January 20, 2023 at 1:04 pm

    MODULE EIGHT LESSON ONE

    FRAN’S STRUCTURED DIALOGUE

    WHAT I LEARNED: Keeping in mind the underlying meaning in your head as you write helps a lot. You’re looking for the understated in your words. It takes a while to think about them, and time to come up with what you need. But with a little more wordsmithing down the road, it will shine.

    MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

    Dmitri II’s Tavern Scene (Twist)

    INT. TAVERN – NIGHT

    Dmitri sits with a friend. He holds anther letter from Olga in his hands. He reads the letter to is companion:

    DMITRI

    My brave soldier. I have missed our days together. But I would not

    want you still here with me, but well and with your comrades in arms.

    I find my nights here are long without someone to talk to—to confide in.

    You. I shall be counting the hours until we are together again. Until

    then, my love, my heart, my entire reason for being, my thoughts are

    only of you.

    Olga

    Dmitri sighs.

    DMITRI

    Alas. She can’t help herself. She loves me. Her entire being. She loves me.

    CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REAVEAL several other comrades in the tavern with Dmitri listening to every word.

    Dmitri burst into wicked laughter. He removes other letters from a coat pocket, he scatters them to the floor.

    DMITRI

    Here, my friends. Our entertainment for the evening. Enjoy yourselves.

    The soldiers scramble to retrieve the letters as Dmitri lets out another diabolical laugh.

    Jerome and Meredith in their apartment. (Subtext meaning)

    INT. MEREDITH AND JEROME’S ATPARTMENT – NIGHT

    Meredith settles down to read some of her book. Jerome gets a call.

    JEROME

    Yeah.—I’m in Moscow. Shooting. I have it. I just need a few more days to finish.—

    You know where I am.—I’ll be home in a few more days.—Look. It’s not that. It’s

    Just a few more scenes.

    Jerome hangs up. Cell phone rings gain. Jerome answers.

    JEROME

    I told you … Oh. It’s you.

    He looks at Meredith—feigning interest in her book at the moment. But hearing everything.

    STARLET

    I need someone to help me with something in the script. Can you come over?

    JEROME

    I don’t know if I can. …It’s late. I’m tired. I need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow.

    STARLET

    Who’s stopping you?

    JEROME

    So. What’s the problem you’re having?

    STARLET

    The dialogue’s a little—stilted.

    JEROME

    This won’t take long, will it?

    STARLET

    I need someone to help me—smooth out the rough edges. You know. Get it

    all to relax a little more.

    JEROME

    Can’t this wait until tomorrow? I have a few things here I’m dealing with right now.

    Meredith looks up. Not fooled.

    JEROME

    You can’t do it yourself.

    STARLET

    Well. It usually does take two to tango. And I’m really needing another dance

    lesson before tomorrow’s shoot.

    JEROME

    All right. Give me a few minutes.

    Jerome hangs up.

    Jerome

    Don’t wait up for me. This may take awhile.

    Meredith

    I hadn’t planned on it.

    NICHOLAS PRESENTS OLGA WITH HER ST. GEORGE NECKLACE (Opposite meaning—we know the fate of young Olga and her family)

    INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

    Czar Nicholas presents his eldest daughter, still a very young girl, with a St. George medallion necklace. Exquisite. Priceless.

    CAMERA, CLOSE SHOT ON THE NECKLACE

    NICHOLAS

    This belonged to our grandmother.

    He puts it around Olga’s neck.

    OLGA

    Oh, Papa! (hugs him) I shall never take it off.

    NICHOLAS

    You know. An old woman. A seeress told me once. A long time ago.

    When you were born. You wouldn’t live to see your twenty fourth

    birthday. But I told her. You were the Grand Duchess of all the Russias.

    You will live forever.—At least in my heart.

    OLGA

    Living forever. Victoria lived a very long time, didn’t she? Papa. I want to be just

    like here when I grow up.

    NICHOLAS

    I don’t know, Olga. This is Russia. She was the Queen of England. The rules here

    are very different.

    OLGA

    Not so different. Not if we don’t let them be. You haven’t an heir yet, Papa. Except

    for me.

    NICHOLAS

    You needn’t worry about that, my love. Your mother and I. We still want so much

    to give you and your sisters a little brother.

    Olga frowns.

    OLGA

    You mean I can’t be a queen like Victoria? Why not?

    NICHOLAS

    It is a discussion we will have for another time.

    Rasputin names his price for saving Alexandra’s son Alexei scene (Deeper layer meaning)

    INT. ALEXEI’S BEDROOM – EVENING

    The family’s gathered round praying for Alexei’s recovery from his fall. This time it appears he’s not going to make it. His skin is pallid, wan from his loss of blood.

    Alexandra is beside herself, praying for a miracle. Afraid Alexei will die.

    ALEXANDRA

    God. Nicky. He’s your only heir. We cannot let him die.

    Olga overhears.

    NICHOLAS

    We can try for another child.

    ALEXANDRA

    I don’t know if I can A hungry, wanton look on his face.

    ALEXANDRA

    Father.

    RASPUTIN

    My lady.

    Alexis looks up at the priest. Her eyes begging for Rasputin to cure her child.

    PASPUTIN

    I can save your son.

    Alexandra’s hope perks up with the news. Nicholas, the girls are not so convinced.

    RASPUTIN

    But in return there is something you must do for me.

    He stares at her lustfully.

    Alexandra looks to her family. Hope. Belief in her eyes. Understanding.

    ALEXANDRA

    Anything. Anything. Name it. You shall have it.

    NICHOLAS

    No. Alex.

    ALEXANDRA

    If Alexei is to be czar one day. Then so be it. What good is losing my

    reputation. My self-pride, my dignity, if I cannot give it to save my son!

    NICHOLAS

    Do not do this Alex. We can find another way.

    Alexandra rises. Takes Rasputin’s outstretched hand. Her eyes bid her family a quiet farewell.

    Rasputin leads her through the door and out into the hallway as the girls, Nicholas watch, Olga, in anger.

    RASPUTIN

    You have saved your son, my lady.

    He kisses her hand.

    RASPUTIN

    Shall we?

    They leave to go to another room, somewhere in the palace, to be alone.

  • Lisa Paris Long

    Member
    January 23, 2023 at 2:38 am

    WIM2 Module 8 Lesson 1 – Dialogue Structures

    Lisa Long’s Dialogue Structures

    My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.

    What I learned from this assignment is to apply the dialogue structures to make the scenes more interesting.

    Set Up/Major Twist – wrote Scene 32 is the last time Molly sees Jane, but neither of them know it. This sets up the major twist in Scene 40 when Molly returns from NYC to find that Jane has died.

    Opposite Meanings in Dialogue – Scene 9 takes place in middle school so there is snarky dialogue where the dialogue doesn’t match the meaning.

    Subtext Drives the Meaning – Scene 44, still working on improving the subtext in this scene.

    Deeper Layer Opposes Dialogue – Scene 39 is the last scene between Ed and Jane. They are talking about hair, but the deep layer of love is felt under the dialogue.

  • Marcus Wolf

    Member
    January 25, 2023 at 3:24 pm

    Marcus’ Dialog Structures

    My Vision: Get my script made into a movie.

    This assignment provided some very specific things to look for to improve dialog. I’ve always known that the value of dialog is nearly inestimable and this lesson teaches an important aspect of it. But it’s harder than Hal makes it sound to do this well.

  • Dana Abbott

    Member
    January 29, 2023 at 12:43 am

    WIM2 – Dana’s Dialogue Structures

    My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.

    What I learned from doing this assignment?

    I found some of my dialogue scene to be too Q&A. I needed to create more context and deeper meaning for the characters’ motives to drive the story forward.

    I enhanced the dialogue between the protagonist and her antagonist sister in the first 10 pages to create a better setup/reveal situation when it’s reveals the sister is involved in the kidnapping.

    I also created a monologue to define and strengthen the sister’s motivations in taking over her sister’s life, and to demonstrate the weakness of the protagonist’s husband.

    The final conversation between sisters also needed to show the antagonist sister’s overconfidence that she would not be caught before the protagonist turns the tables.

    And several text dialogues between antagonists needed greater conflict.

  • David Holloway

    Member
    January 29, 2023 at 11:43 pm

    Dave’s dialogue structures

    My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal values.

    What I learned from this assignment is that using the different dialogue structures opens up interesting possibilities for the story’s direction that I wouldn’t have thought of, otherwise.

    Set-up/major twist

    INT. TAXI – DAY

    One hundred yards ahead, a buffalo chews the grass. The driver slows, and they look at him closely.

    NIGEL

    Magnificent. They look like an ancient species – older and hardier than man.

    ROGER

    Sturdy bugger.

    DRIVER

    Millions of buffalo once lived on the great plains. They’re thriving in Tribal.

    On the right, a field of green stalks of corn grows.

    NIGEL

    I’d love to see a great herd of them.

    ROGER

    What’s Wildlife, the next state, like?

    The driver speaks grimly as he slows the car.

    DRIVER

    It’s a place where rich guys from Industry hunt and fish. They kill a lot of animals every year.

    NIGEL

    There’s an evangelical Christian state, isn’t there?

    The driver nods.

    DRIVER

    In the South. Also an agricultural state, Heartland. And a state open to all immigrants. A few others, too.

    A short ways ahead, a sign says, State of Wildlife. A building stands beside it. The driver gets out of the car and pulls their suitcases from the trunk.

    DRIVER

    Three hundred fifty dollars, guys.

    Roger takes money from his wallet and hands it to the driver.

    ROGER

    Here’s four hundred twenty. Enjoyable ride, mate.

    DRIVER

    Thank you, sir. I admire your courage, gentlemen. Good luck.

    He gets back in the car and drives off. He pulls out a phone, and begins to speak into it, quietly and precisely.

    DRIVER

    I just dropped them off at the border with Wildlife. It’s 4:10 p.m. I’m sure they’ll take the train across to the Tribal Nations. They seemed in reasonably good health and spirits. But they’re naive. They have no idea what Independence will be like, much less Shiloh.

    He puts the phone back in his pocket and continues driving.

    Deeper Layer Opposes Dialogue

    INT. PRISON WARDEN’S OFFICE – DAY

    Livia walks into the office of Luther Trask, the prison’s warden, accompanied by a guard. She wears a shapeless prison uniform, and her wrists are handcuffed in front of her.

    Photos and commendations decorate the wood-paneled walls. On Trask’s polished desk, two pens sit in a golden stand, and a small video screen shows locations throughout the prison.

    He turns to Livia. A harsh note of command dominates his voice.

    TRASK

    Take a seat.

    Livia sits in a chair facing his desk. She looks nervous. The guard stands behind her.

    TRASK

    Livia Williamson, correct?

    LIVIA

    Yes.

    From somewhere outside, a volley of gunshots is heard. Livia flinches.

    LIVIA

    What was that?

    Trask suppresses a smile.

    EXT. EXECUTION COURTYARD – DAY

    Six prisoners lie on the ground, having just been shot. A guard walks up to each and shoots each of them with a handgun once in the head. Six prisoners are lined up against the wall adjoining the wall where the six prisoners lie. Six guards stand in front of them. An OFFICER barks an order.

    OFFICER

    Fire!

    The six guards fire and the prisoners fall. The officer walks up to the prisoners and shoots each one in the head.

    INT. OFFICE – DAY

    Trask’s voice is controlled and calm.

    TRASK

    Our guards have firing practice each morning. Keeps them sharp in case we have a prisoner trying to escape.

    Trask picks up a set of papers on his desk and holds them in one hand.

    TRASK

    These articles you wrote state that we execute political prisoners.

    She speaks with a soft defiance.

    LIVIA

    That’s right.

    Trask looks at her, his voice growing louder.

    TRASK

    Who told you these lies?

    Her response contains a passion suppressed by fear.

    LIVIA

    I won’t disclose their names.

    Trask drops the papers onto his desk. He looks at her, his voice edged with threat.

    TRASK

    Publishing falsehoods about Shiloh is a treasonous offense punishable by death.

    LIVIA

    I’ve only reported what I was told. Is it treasonous to tell the truth?

    Trask settles back in his chair for a moment. He eyes her closely.

    TRASK

    People have disappeared without a trace in this prison. Cooperating with authority is your best chance to remain alive.

    LIVIA

    So you’re admitting that you do execute political prisoners?

    A spark of rage fills his eyes. He nods to the guard, who places a hand on Livia’s shoulder. She rises and walks out, followed by the guard.

    Subtext drives the Meaning

    INT. PRISON CAFETERIA – DAY

    Livia sits with 20 other prisoners at a large table in the cafeteria. At two other tables, similar numbers of women are seated. A few conversations in muted tones are heard.

    PRISONER ONE

    I’m glad I had a will made six months ago. I’m leaving everything to my children.

    PRISONER TWO

    So am I. A friend of my husband’s is a lawyer. He drew one up for Bob and one for me. You never know how things work, do you. I thought it wouldn’t be needed for another 40 years.

    PRISONER ONE

    I guess we’re lucky our kids are teenagers now. Old enough to understand something about how the world functions.

    PRISONER TWO

    I feel sorry for them, though. Having to make their way at age 17.

    PRISONER ONE

    So much of Shiloh will disappear. Businesses, services, schools. They oppress the population and end up with half a society as a result.

    PRISONER TWO

    Serves them right. They’ve made this state Hell. We can only hope Hell is waiting for them when it’s their time to go.

    PRISONER ONE

    Amen.

    Opposite meanings in dialogue

    EXT. STAIRWAY – DAY

    They walk up the outdoor stairway toward the next floor, side by side. Nigel looks at the prison buildings around them and at the courtyard, 50 feet below. They reach a landing.

    NIGEL

    How many prisoners are executed each week?

    Trask looks at him with a hostile expression and speaks gruffly.

    TRASK

    Depends on how many are convicted of treason.

    They start up the next flight of stairs.

    NIGEL

    Do the prisoners get a lawyer? Or do they have to defend themselves?

    Trask gazes at him suspiciously for a moment.

    TRASK

    They’re given a chance to assert their innocence and a make a plea for clemency. But generally the evidence is overwhelming. It’s mostly a formality.

    NIGEL

    According to who?

    Trask gives Nigel an icy glance. His voice grows angry.

    TRASK

    We only execute the guilty. And the evidence on these people is enormous.

    NIGEL

    If a people are oppressed and denied their basic rights, do you think they have a right to fight for them?

    TRASK

    Of course. But people in Shiloh live like kings compared to most of the world. We have the second-highest standard of living of any state, after Heartland.

    NIGEL

    But there are other rights beside the right to eat, correct? Like the right to give one’s opinion.

    TRASK

    They can do that, here. But they seem uninterested in doing so.

    Nigel looks at him incredulously.

    NIGEL

    Aren’t they arrested if their opinion is contrary to the government’s?

    TRASK

    They’re arrested if they advocate the government’s overthrow. No one’s stopping them from expressing their opinions.

    Nigel shakes his head wearily.

  • Erin Ziccarelli

    Member
    February 4, 2023 at 5:13 am

    Erin Ziccarelli’s Dialogue Structure

    Vision: I am creating profound scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.

    What I learned from doing this assignment is: different ways to build dialogue structure. Right now I have a lot of the “deeper layer opposes dialogue” structure, but not many of the other types, so I am working on adding those in to elevate the whole script.

    2. Identify all the scenes in your script that could be driven by the dialogue.

    3. Use the Dialogue Structures and rewrite at least one scene each to have a major impact through this structure.

    A. Setup / Major Twist: Ted’s death – he starts
    the scene telling Alex about Kitty and then reveals the truth about Scarlett.

    B. Opposite Meanings in
    Dialogue:

    Dr. Reynolds and Alex discuss the old car.
    C. Subtext Drives the Meaning: opening and
    climax scenes with the poker games – incorporate winning/losing poker
    moves to the shifting power dynamics.
    D. Deeper Layer Opposes
    Dialogue:

    Scarlett and Alex’s confessions to their families – Richard’s disdain and
    Patrick/Collin/Darrel’s anger over the truth.

  • JOEL STERN

    Member
    February 9, 2023 at 1:01 am

    Joel Stern WIM Module 8 Lesson 1 Dialogue Structures

    Thriller: “Death Voice”.

    My Vision: To write eight screenplays that become Hollywood Blockbusters (and to get a speaking line in at least one).

    What I’m continuing to learn from this assignment: Dialogue structure.

    Summary: Jim “Ace” McCarthy, a decorated WWII Army hero returns home to Las Vegas but his road back to normalcy is shaken by the sudden death of his wife, a Polio stricken young son and phone calls from an anonymous mobster threatening death if he doesn’t repay his gambling debts withing ten days.

    This scene is long but I think it qualifies for being dialogue driven.

    Months after his young wife dies of cancer, Jim has an opportunity to develop a relationship with a fellow journalist he meets at a diner while with his young son Steven:

    INT. PIRATES COVE DINER – NIGHT

    Perry Como’s “One Enchanted Evening” plays under the chatter.

    Jim cuts Steven’s roast beef.

    STEVEN

    Why do kids call me “Iron legs”?

    Jim makes an angry deep cut into the beef.

    JIM

    Because they have marshmallow lives and don’t know what suffering is.

    STEVEN

    Will I have to wear my braces forever?

    JIM

    No…

    Steven makes eye contact with CAROL NEWHOUSE, (24) paying her bill at the register.

    Carol waves hello but drops her change. Jim scoops them up.

    INT. CASH REGISTER – CONTINUOUS

    He hands the coins to Carol.

    JIM

    I believe these are yours ma’am.

    CAROL

    Now, that’s what I call a real gentleman.

    JIM

    Name’s Jim. Jim McCarthy.

    They shake.

    CAROL

    Carol Newhouse. Nice to meet you.

    JIM

    The pleasure’s all mine, ma’am.

    CAROL

    I’ve been so clumsy of late. New city, new job.

    They step away from the register.

    JIM

    No kidding! Where are you from?

    CAROL

    Fairfax, Virginia.

    JIM

    I did basic training at Fort Lee!

    CAROL

    Such a small world.

    He looks back at antsy Steven.

    JIM

    Say, I don’t mean to be forward but I’d be a real chump if I didn’t ask. My son and I would be honored if you’d join us.

    She checks her watch.

    CAROL

    Why sure, I’d love to.

    INT. BOOTH – CONTINUOUS

    Jim and Steven sit facing Carol.

    JIM

    Steven, say hello to Miss Newhouse.

    The boy’s silent, sad. She isn’t “mom”.

    JIM

    Be nice.

    STEVEN

    (reluctant)

    Hello, Miss Newhouse.

    CAROL

    Well, hello there Steven.

    She looks at his crutches.

    STEVEN

    I have Polio, but my dad says it’ll go away one day and I’ll pitch like Warren Spahn.

    Carol leans close to Steven.

    CAROL

    (hush)

    Well, I don’t know him but I hear they’re working on a cure and it could happen by next Christmas.

    Steven’s eyes light up.

    STEVEN

    Really?

    He looks at dad, eyes filled with hope.

    JIM

    So, how long have you been in town?

    CAROL

    Three weeks. It was quite lonely drive.

    Jim looks at her ringless FINGER.

    JIM

    What kind of work do you do? If you don’t mind me asking.

    CAROL

    I’m a reporter for the Sun.

    JIM

    You don’t say? I’m a TV crime reporter for Channel Three. Started a few weeks ago.

    STEVEN

    Daddy comes on TV after Bozo.

    CAROL

    Well Bozo’s a hard act to follow.

    Jim’s musses his son’s hair.

    JIM

    Sometimes, I’m more of a clown than he is.

    CAROL

    Well, it’s a pleasure to meet a fellow journalist. How do you like television?

    JIM

    Lots to learn. I’m pretty raw, but my experience during the war…

    (swallows hard)

    … helps me deal with it.

    CAROL

    Well, I don’t own a television set but I think I’ve seen you before.

    JIM

    (humble)

    LOOK magazine. Or LIFE.

    CAROL

    Oh, really?

    JIM

    Nothing bad. Well, it was for the two Germans posing as nuns I — I killed in France.

    Carol nods, the wheels turn.

    CAROL

    Hmm. Come to think of it, I did read about that.

    STEVEN

    Are you gonna tell that story?

    JIM

    No son, I’m not.

    CAROL

    Oh, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ve always been inquisitive.

    JIM

    The hallmark of a good reporter. I’ve always been a big fan of Edward R. Murrow myself. Met him once in Washington. Have his autographed picture on my living room wall.

    CAROL

    His war coverage was legendary.

    STEVEN

    (bored)

    Can we go home now?

    Jim checks his watch.

    JIM

    Where did the time go…

    He grabs the check.

    JIM

    Say, you seem like a pretty swell gal. Whaddya say we meet for coffee sometime?

    Carol’s POV: Jim’s wedding ring.

    JIM

    She died eight months ago.

    Steven drops his head. Carol’s touched.

    CAROL

    Oh Jim, I’m so sorry.

    She takes his hand.

    CAROL

    Sure. I’d love to.

  • Joyce Davidson

    Member
    February 13, 2023 at 8:28 pm

    Joyce’s Lesson I. Dialogue

    WIL I love the different structures, but I can’t seem to go through the entire script. I become bogged down.

    I want to create memorable movie scripts which will attract actors.

    I have a perfect opportunity to use dialogue in which two people are thinking in opposite ways and intend to pursue this more. I also have two characters who already use banter. I will go back and add intrigue to some of the obvious dialogue but doing the opposite..

  • Renee Miller

    Member
    February 27, 2023 at 5:49 pm

    Renee’s Dialog Structures

    Vision: to become a well-respected writer and to have my movies produced and enough work to keep me busy and keep the lights on.

    What I learned doing this assignment is how to look at the dialog in a scene and determine a better structure to elevate the quality of the dialog. I found four scenes that I was able to elevate using the dialog structures. Moving forward I will consider each structure before I write the scene to find the one that works best for that scene.

  • Andrew Boyd

    Member
    March 21, 2023 at 9:06 pm

    Andrew Boyd’s Dialogue Structures

    Vision: For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling screenplay that Spielberg and Gibson will battle it out to produce their most powerful WW2 drama since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List.

    What I learned from doing this assignment: Even when you think your dialogue has been honed to perfection, it can always be improved. Going through, looking specifically at dialogue, I have made improvements to two scenes and a series of minor tweaks. I’ve also spotted a repetition and eliminated it.

    Specifically, what this assignment has helped me to see is that I can work against the grain by diving into that deeper layer that opposes the surface meaning of dialogue. This can add intrigue by getting the character to act against type and then spring a surprise.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Andrew Boyd.

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