Lesson 10

[Tina Howe]

What I learned is there are a lot of crossovers and duplication of items from the various lists which is going to require a ton of organizing when it comes to the outline.

Tina’s Trust Relationships

Main Characters:

• Hero: Julie Doe
• Villain: The Operator
• Red Herring Character: Caretaker Peters
• Trusted, but shouldn’t be: The Operator
• Isn’t trusted, but should be: Caretaker Peters

NEW THRILLER MAP

OPENING:

• Twist 1:
• Direction: Julie dreams of being in a car accident.
• Mystery 1: Julie has a jumbled dream about a car accident.

INCITING INCIDENT:

• Mystery 2: She can’t remember who she is. She wonders that she’s pregnant. She scrutinizes her face in the mirror, looks old to herself.
• Twist: Julie wakes up in the futuristic Facility, plugged into medical tubing.
• Twist 2:
• Direction: Julie can’t remember who she is.
• Twist: Julie is surprised she’s pregnant.
• Twist 3:
• Direction: Julie’s locked in her room.
• Twist: She hears a woman screaming, people running down the corridors, a baby crying.
• Mystery 3: What is The Facility and why is ‘Julie Doe’ here?
• Mystery 4: She hears a woman screaming and a baby crying.
• Mystery 5: Why is her door locked from the inside?
• Red Herring’s Plan 1: Caretaker Peters is cruel, gives orders to the staff, and appears to be running things.
• Twist 4:
• Direction: Julie pretends to still be comatose.

TURNING POINT 1:

• Twist: Peters knows she’s awake but lets it slide.
• TRUST: The Op handles Julie tenderly.
• DISTRUST: She talks about harvesting her newborn in the most commercial of terms.
• Life threatening 2: Peters and the other Caretakers on their daily rounds believe Julie’s still comatose. They’re only concerned about Julie’s baby.
• Mystery 6: One of the Caretakers thinks Julie’s brainwaves are too active but Peters ignores this/he shuts off the monitor.
• Life threatening 3: Painful medical procedures are performed on Julie when she’s faking the coma.
• Mystery 7: What is Caretaker Peters hiding?
• Twist 5:
• Direction: The suspicious Operator observes Peters’ activities and makes notes.
• Twist: The Operator announces that Julie will be scheduled to have her baby harvested.
• Mystery 8: Caretaker Peters updates The Operator about Julie’s “procedures” in a few days once she’s ripe enough.
• DISTRUST: Peters lies to The Operator about Julie’s condition.
• TRUST: He protects Julie’s wellbeing.
• Twist 6:
• Direction: The Operator carries a newborn she says is dead.
• Twist: The newborn isn’t dead.
• Too many “assets” are not surviving. She blames this on Peters.
• TRUST: She reprimands Peters for every failure which makes him seem like the bad guy.
• DISTRUST: She lets Peters continue to tend to Julie.
• Villain’s Plan 2: The Operator claims the facility needs to show zero losses.
• Life threatening 4: Everyone will follow the Operator’s rules or pay the price.
• Villain’s Plan 3: The Operator pretends to care about the patients, is over-emotional when a patient or infant dies or miscarries. But is devoid of real emotion (which is realized when she exits). It’s “never about the money, it’s about being of service.”
• Twist 7:
• Direction: Why does Peters so readily take responsibility for newborn “deaths?”
• Twist: The Operator tortures the employees if they disagree.
• Twist 8:
• Direction: The Operator takes the dead newborns away before autopsies can be performed.
• Twist: The not-dead newborns are taken to a secret locked room.
• TRUST: She weeps for every newborn that doesn’t survive.
• DISTRUST: She won’t let Peters examine the dead infants or perform autopsies.
• Villain’s Plan 4: Where does the Operator take the tiny bodies before autopsies that could help them understand the fatalities can be completed?
• Life threatening 5: Julie’s baby could be harvested at any moment while she’s awake.
• Life threatening 6: Julie has labor pains.
• Twist 9:
• Direction: Caretaker Peters discovers that Julie is awake.
• Twist: Caretaker Peters wants to use Julie in his own plan.
• Mystery 9: Caretaker Peters wants Julie to help him in some way (escape? Bring down The Operator?) (but can Peters be trusted?).
• DISTRUST: Peters threatens Julie to help him.
• TRUST: He handles Julie with the greatest of care.
• Mystery 10: Julie wants him to tell her who she is but Peters says he has no personal data on patients which keeps them from getting emotionally attached.
• DISTRUST: Peters says he doesn’t know Julie’s true name.
• TRUST: He leaves a computer screen open with her info so she can see her father’s address and phone number.
• Life threatening 7: Caretaker Peters will give Julie a few hours to get her mind clear. When he returns, she’d better do his bidding or he’ll put her back in the coma.
• Twist 10:
• Direction: Under threat, Julie agrees to help Peters.
• Twist: She’ll help, but only if he helps her. He leaves her door unlocked.
• DISTRUST: Peters says he’ll help Julie escape.
• TRUST: He leaves her door unlocked.
• Life threatening 9: Julie fears it’s a trap, is afraid to venture out, but finally does.
• Twist 11:
• Direction: Julie finds surgical rooms. Many comatose patients. Rooms full of infants. The locked “dead infant” room. Breakaway fire doors padlocked. Peters and the Caretakers locked in their rooms until rounds.
• Twist 12: The only way out of the building is through the guarded front door.
• Villain’s Plan 10: Julie finds a remote room with the “dead” newborns plugged into A.I. technology; DNA splicing, electronic implants, etc.
• Mystery 11: Who is The Operator, really, and what’s going on here?
• Twist 13:

MIDPOINT:

• Direction: Julie gets into The Operator’s office.
• Twist: Julie discovers The Operator has a diabolical plan.
• Twist 14:
• Direction: Julie remembers more about the car accident.
• Twist: She was driving, killed her mother in the crash, ended up in a coma.
• Mystery 12: Through another flashback, Julie begins to remember who she is. Now in her 30s, she had the car crash that killed her mother and put her in a coma at age 18.
• Mystery 13: Julie sneaks into the offices looking for a key, key card, phone, etc.
• Twist 15:
• Direction: Julie finds an auction announcement in The Operator’s office.
• Twist: Someone wants to purchase infants.
• Twist 16:
• Direction: Julie overhears The Operator’s online meetings.
• Twist: The Operator is selling transhuman infants.
• Mystery 14: Julie finds emails coming in from purchase requests with specifications for exactly which kind of transhuman infant they’re looking for.
• Villain’s Plan 11: The Operator Zooms with the corporation and lies about losing assets, fake emotional – the corporation is about auctioning infants to wealthy parents. But her objective doesn’t align with theirs.
• Villain’s Plan 12: On a second Zoom call, the Operator is running another business, a super-secret transhuman infant-selling ring. Why?
• Twist 17:
• Direction: Julie finds a way to call out.
• Twist: Her father thinks she’s pranking him – he buried his daughter and his wife.
• Mystery 15: Desperate Julie finds The Facility’s address and a way to call outside.
• Mystery 16: Her father answers but thinks it’s a cruel prank because they buried his daughter. She gives him the address/she says something (about the accident, about her mother) that should pique his interest, but it doesn’t and he hangs up on her.
• Twist 18:
• Direction: Julie starts to have labor pains.
• Twist: She watches the Operator plug herself into electronic equipment.
• Life threatening 13: Julie has worse labor pains and takes steps to keep herself and her baby safe.
• Mystery 17: Julie hides and when the Operator comes back and Julie watches her plug into electronics and go “offline”.
• Red Herring’s Plan 5: Julie sneaks back to her room. Peters is waiting.
• Twist 19:
• Direction: Julie asks Peters what’s up with the operator?
• Twist #: She’s transhuman!
• Red Herring’s Plan 6: What’s up with The Operator? Peters confesses that the Operator is A.I. posing as human and is creating trans-human infants.
• Red Herring’s Plan 7: The Operator had threatened to kill Peters’ family if he didn’t cooperate so to protect them he left them behind and joined The Facility. He wants to go home.
• Twist 20:
• Direction: The Operator discovers Peters lied about Julie.
• DISTRUST: Peters tells the Operator that Julie stole his key card.
• TRUST: He has a duplicate keycard and leaves it with Julie.

TURNING POINT 2:

• Twist: The Operator kills Peters.
• Life threatening 14: The Operator discovers Julie’s not in her room.
• Life threatening 15: The Operator had suspected Peters, Julie’s only ally, questions and kills him.
• Life threatening 16: The Operator catches Julie.
• Life threatening 17: Julie discovers that her baby is to be turned into a transhuman.
• Twist 21:
• Direction: The Operator catches Julie.
• Twist: Julie’s baby will be turned into a transhuman.

CLIMAX:

• The Operator has a failsafe.
• Life threatening 18: The Operator catches Julie and takes her to the O.R. to harvest her infant.
• Life threatening 19: The Operator will put Julie back in the coma and continue to use her as a breeder. Julie has born 5 children over the years.
• Twist 22:
• Direction: Julie is being put back into a coma.
• Twist: Julie fights back, escapes.
• Life threatening 20: Julie wrecks equipment, escapes the O.R., The Operator and other health workers and security guards in pursuit.
• TRUST: She’s kind to Julie when she sees she’s woken from the coma.
• DISTRUST: She chases her, tries to capture her.
• TRUST: She says keeping Julie locked down will be good for her baby.
• DISTRUST: Julie’s too much trouble and The Operator will kill her after the baby’s delivered.
• Life threatening 21: The Operator threatens to blow up the facility and kill all the babies so as to leave no evidence.
• Twist 23:
• Direction:
• Twist:
• Julie kills her in a gruesome way.
• Twist 24:
• Direction: Julie makes it outside the building.
• Twist: The Operator follows her, catches her, Julie kills her.
• Twist 25:
• Direction: Alone and about to give birth, Julie makes it to the front gate.
• Twist: Her father arrives with police and ambulances; something Julie had told him rang true.
• The Operator is taken away.

RESOLUTION:

• Julie’s father, the police and ambulances arrive. Something Julie said had rang true. The Caretakers will be debriefed. Infants taken to shelter, coma patients evaluated/released/hospitalized. Julie and her baby go home with her father.
• Mystery18: But what will happen to the transhuman infants?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Tina Howe.

[Mariannjely Garcia]

Mariannjely’s Trust Relationships

What I learned doing this assignment is that defining trust/ distrust relationships between the main characters allows you to add twists to your story and keep an engaging dynamic between the characters.

Main Characters:

· Hero: Ariana Mendez

· Villain: Karen Coex

· Red Herring Character: Nick Jones

· Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Karen Coex

· Isn’t trusted, but should be: Nick Jones

Opening: A woman screams from inside a wine barrel until the screams stop.

Life threating: a woman was locked and left to die inside a barrel.

Mystery: Who is she?

Mystery: Why is she inside a barrel?

Inciting Incident: Ariana accepts a summer program invitation and travels to the U.S from Venezuela.

Villain’s plan: there is a website with testimonials and great pictures for the program. All expenses paid.

Life threating: Ariana’s roommates mention the danger of going to another country where you don’t know anybody else.

Mystery: Participants in the program are all beautiful foreign women, between 18-26.

Mystery: Ariana’s passport is taken away at the vineyard’s entrance.

Mystery: Everybody in the vineyard is monitored 24/7.

Mystery: No phone service.

Villain’s plan: location is too remote for service. Very happy employees. Karen is extra accommodating and nice.

TRUST: Karen is the owner of a prestigious Vineyard. She is nice and overaccommodating.

DISTRUST: She takes Ariana’s passport.

TRUST: Karen tours the vineyard. The employees seem to love her.

TRUST: Nick gives Ariana pointers about how to impress Karen.

TRUST: Karen acknowledges Ariana’s talent with wine in front of everyone.

Mystery: There is an area off limits.

Mystery: Participants get their blood drawn. One of the women get send home next day.

Mystery: Karen’s right-hand flirts with Ariana.

Twist: Karen’s right hand, 20 years younger, is Karen’s secret lover.

Turning Point 1: Ariana tastes the popular wine at the tasting night.

Villain’s plan: tasting night where clients can see the new women in the program.

Life threating: Ariana starts asking questions about the wine.

Mystery: Ariana can’t find the taste of the wine.

Mystery: the clientele is all prestigious women 40+ years old.

Mystery: A client goes to the off-limits area by herself.

Life threating: Karen visits the off-limits area, where women are locked.

Twist: a client warns Ariana to run away.

Midpoint: Ariana finds a body in a barrel. She is locked in a room.

Life threating: Ariana goes to the off-limits area.

Life threating: Ariana finds the body of the client that warned her.

Mystery: why the client died?

Life threating: Karen’s right-hand sees Ariana find the body.

Twist: He wants to help Ariana. He’s also a victim.

DISTRUST: Ariana finds a body of Kathy. Nick killed her.

TRUST: Nick opens up to Ariana about being an orphan. They bond.

TRUST: Nick tells Ariana what’s happening in the Vineyard. He’s a victim too.

DISTRUST: He shows her the area where women are locked.

TRUST: …They make a plan together to escape.

Villain’s plan: Karen has been watching them in the cameras all along.

Turning Point 2: Ariana is locked by Karen and makes a deal with her.

Life threating: Ariana finds the area where women are locked. She is set to meet with Karen’s right hand.

Twist: Karen shows up instead. She killed the young man.

Mystery: Karen didn’t care about the young man.

Villain’s plan: Karen locks Ariana in room.

DISTRUST: Karen locks Ariana in a room.

TRUST: Ariana makes a deal with Karen. She’ll help her find new young foreign women.

DISTRUST: Karen warns her she’ll be dead if she betrays her.

Life threating: Ariana is locked in a room.

Life threating. Twist. Ariana offers a partnership deal with Karen. She’ll help her get more women as exchange of her life.

Life threating: Karen tells her if Ariana tries to betray her, she is dead.

Villain’s plan: Use Ariana to get more clients from Latin America.

Life threating: Ariana plays the game with Karen and get to know her, also her employees. She finds out the client was a mom of one of the victims who was pretending to be Karen’s friend.

Climax: Ariana fights Karen for her life.

DISTRUST: Ariana calls the police. The police show up revealing Karen bought them.

DISTRUST: Karen goes after Ariana, to kill her.

Life threating: Ariana betrays Karen contacts the police.

Life threating: the police show up.

Twist: Police in the town works for Karen.

Life threating: Karen locks Ariana again.

Twist: The employees turn to Karen and help Ariana.

Life threating: Vineyard burns. Ariana fights Karen.

Resolution: The vineyard burns alongside Karen, Ariana survives. She receives a U visa to stay in the United States. She becomes a sommelier.

Twist: Karen’s daughter who was in Europe is back, and knows what Ariana did.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Trust Relationships

What I learned: As I broke down the trust/distrust between the characters, I saw that it flip/flopped throughout the story between Michael and the women he was trying to help. With the Cult Leader, there was no flip/flop until the climax and then everything changed. Good exercise.

1.Characters

· Hero: Michael

· Villain: Mother and Daughter

· Red Hearing: Cult Leader

· Trusted, but shouldn’t: Mother and Daughter

· Isn’t trusted, but should be: Cult Leader

2. Character questions:

Michael

· Basic state: trustable

· Trustable/not trustable: we don’t know much about him, except what we see at the beginning of the story.

· Switch? – betrayal

Mother/Daughter

· Basic state – Trustable – face value.

· Trustable/not trustable: running from killers. We assume they are the victims. If we find out different, that might change.

· Switch? – survival, and/or end goal.

Cult Leader

· Basic state – Untrustable

· Trustable/not trustable: chasing the women, trying to kill/kidnap them.

· Switch? – End game, truth is exposed.

3. trust/distrust shown

Michael/mother-daughter: trusted, should not be trusted.

Trust

· Saving each other

· Affection

· Sexual encounter

Untrust

· Betrayal

· Abandonment

· Lies

· Allow the other to be sacrificed for ambitions.

Michael/Cult Leader – Not trusted, should be trusted.

Untrust

· Chasing them

· Violence

· Shooting at them

· Setting Michael up with the police

Trust

· Truth

· Betrayal by others

4. Trust/Distrust Sequences

Michael/Mother-daughter

Trust – mother and daughter being chased by gun totting men.

Distrust – Mother tells Michael that the cult leader is her husband.

Trust – Work together to escape.

Distrust – daughter has spasm – monster in the forest.

Trust – cult leader has turned the police against Michael to hunt mother/daughter.

Trust – have sexual moment.

Distrust – finds daughter is watching them have sex – her expression is desire.

Trust – escape forest fire together

Trust – sex

Distrust – disturbing dark sexual dreams

Distrust – daughter transforms and the women and the beast attack Michael.

Michael/ Cult Leader

Distrust – chasing women.

Distrust – frames Michael and turns police against him.

Distrusts – shooting.

Distrusts – sets forest fire to kill Michael and the women.

Trusts – Daughter transforms into demon.

Trusts – battle between Michael and the cult leader vs Mother/daughter and monster.

Trusts – the demon will return.

Updated Thriller Map

1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.

Opening – Michael drives to cabin.

Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.

Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.

Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them. Trust mother

Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police.

Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.

Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?

Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods. Distrust cult leader

Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.

Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives. Distrust cult leader

Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.

Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.

Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her? Distrust mother

Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening.

Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST

Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower.

Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.

Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally.

Michael and mother have a moment in sugar-bush cabin, while daughter is asleep. Trust mother Ends with daughter having another spasm.

Mystery 8: screams echo through the night?

Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire) Distrust Mother

Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them.

Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters. Distrust cult leader

Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.

TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them. Trusts mother

Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it.

Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear.

Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?

Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part. Distrust mother

Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened?

Mystery 12: Where did the women go?

Disaster – 2^nd Big Twist

Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave.

Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her. Distrust mother

Climax of Act 2

Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.

When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.”

They stagger out of the bush together. trust cult leader

[Norene Smiley]

NORENE’S TRUST RELATIONSHIPS

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have the elements of trust/distrust in the story but this exercise helps highlight them.

1. List of the main characters:

Hero: Archer

Villain: Gabby

Red Herring Character: Henry

Red Herring Characters: villagers

Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Gabby

Isn’t trusted, but should be: Henry

2.

HERO: ARCHER

A. What is their basic state — trustable

B. Trustable, but appear not trustable: Archer looks like he might be responsible for a number of instances of vandalism at the Eco-Adventure Centre.

Not trustable, but appear trustable? Archer is in conflict with his father Henry and acts out, lies, even steals when he needs to.

C. Circumstances might cause him to switch from one to the other: Trust to Distrust: Anger at his father, unhappiness with being abandoned by mother, jealousy when Henry and Rowan seem to prefer Gabby’s company; being blamed by Gabby; not being defended by Talulah; rebelling against authority.

Distrust to Trust: acceptance by Oona; love for sister Rowan and wanting to protect her; wanting to prove himself to his father and to Talulah.

VILLAIN: GABBY

A. What is their basic state — not trustable

B. How might she really be trustable, but appear not trustable: she loves her daughter Talulah but her drive for revenge endangers everyone around her.

OR be not trustable, but appear trustable: Gabby is very loving and motherly towards Rowan; Gabby seduces Henry; Gabby appears to be trying to bring a viable business to the community but it is all a con.

C. Circumstances might cause her to switch from one to the other: she is unstable; she is conflicted in her relationship with her mother; she never intended to endanger the secret of the village but acted out of despair when Maeve won Henry’s heart.

RED HERRING: HENRY

A. What is his basic state — trustable

B. How might he really be trustable, but appear not trustable: Henry wants to protect his family but doesn’t give the kids enough credit; he keeps Maeve’s letters from them; he believes Gabby over Archer; he fails to realize the danger the kids are in until it is almost too late.

C. What circumstances might cause him to switch from one to the other: he still morns the loss of his wife and is lonely; he questions himself and is more indecisive; he believes what others tell him.

RED HERRING: VILLAGERS – SEAMUS, OONA

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable – both

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable: they are steeped in superstition and because of the secret they are protecting, do not encourage visitors or establish relationships easily with outsiders; they volunteer to search when Rowan goes missing.

OR be not trustable, but appear trustable: they use unnecessary legal complications to thwart Gabby’s new business, all in the name of protecting the environment; they act dismayed when rumours of mysterious lights and predators roam the barrens but really started the rumours; they discourage interest in the Selkies and other legends; they discourage visitors, exaggerating dangers in the area.

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other: when Rowan’s life is in danger they set aside other concerns to help; when the village attracts the attention of the media they lie and misdirect; when Oona realizes Archer is the offspring of a Selkie she puts her guard down and supports his interest in finding out more.

3. Trust/Distrust Relationships:

Hero – Archer/ Villain – Gabby:

TRUST: Archer and his family think a driver lost control of his car.

DISTRUST: Gabby tries to run them off the road.

TRUST: Archer and his family think the Eco-Adventure is legit.

DISTRUST: Gabby is using it as a cover to disrupt the villagers’ way of life. She actively jeopardizes equipment and people using them.

TRUST: Archer tries to put out the fire in the shed.

DISTRUST: Gabby not only started it but puts the blame on him.

TRUST: Archer and family depend on Gabby to loan them clothing and supplies for their stay after their things were lost in car accident.

DISTRUST: Gabby was the cause of the their loss in the first place.

TRUST: Gabby encourages Archer and Talulah to rock climb.

DISTRUST: Gabby cut rope hoping to hurt Archer.

DISTRUST: Gabby spreads rumours that Archer is cause of vandalism at the centre and in the village, causing more problems between Henry and Archer and increasing the hostility in the village.

TRUST: Gabby tells tales of treasure and caves in the area to entertain the kids when Henry is working.

DISTRUST: She is successful in peaking their curiosity to go exploring the caves, only to be endangered by the rising tide.

TRUST: Gabby encourages Rowan’s devotion. Seems to be good for the withdrawn little girl.

DISTRUST: This budding relationship makes Archer feel distanced from his sister and jealous.

TRUST: Gabby loans Archer book on local legends and Selkies.

DISTRUST: Gabby warns Henry that Archer is showing an unhealthy interest in superstition and the occult. She says she worries that it may be scaring Rowan.

DISTRUST: Archer sees Gabby reading Henry’s report. Altering it. He tells Henry.

DISTRUST: Gabby leaks info to the media.

TRUST: Gabby tells search party she saw Rowan walking towards the barrens.looking for her dog.

DISTRUST: Archer knows Gabby is lying because Rowan is afraid of the storm.

Hero Archer / Red Herring Henry:

TRUST: Archer trusts that his father loves him and tells the truth.

DISTRUST: When Archer discovers Henry has withheld Maeve’s letters he loses trust. What else is Henry not telling him?

TRUST: Archer is used to his father believing him.

DISTRUST: When Henry believes Gabby that Archer is responsible for vandalism, Archer loses confidence in his father.

TRUST: Archer believes Henry’s story of mother having a nervous breakdown and needing to leave to get help.

DISTRUST: When Oona reveals the mystery of the Selkies in relation to Maeve, Archer questions all his father has told him. It is another thing henry has kept secret.

TRUST: Archer always believed that Henry loved his mother Maeve and has been in mourning for her loss.

DISTRUST: When Gabby accuses Henry of rape and that he is Talulah’s father, Archer no longer knows who his father is.

Hero Archer / Villagers:

TRUST: Archer and his family depend on tow truck to rescue them and their car after the accident.

DISTRUST: Did the tow truck driver nudge their car off the cliff on purpose?

TRUST: Archer believes the tales of the Fairy Caves, mysterious lights and figures on the barrens and finds them interesting.

DISTRUST: Archer finds the burdensome superstitions and warnings of the villagers and their hard to understand dialect alienating.

TRUST: Villagers warn about dangerous terrain and advise visitors not to go off without a guide for their own protection.

DISTRUST: No guides are ever available and Archer wonders if some dangers are exaggerated. Would villagers go so far as to harm hikers?

TRUST: Archer believes Oona when she tells him of the Selkies and their ability to take human form. This possibly shedding some light on his mother’s disappearance and who he is.

DISTRUST: Stories depict Selkies as shapsshifters, and some tell of luring men to their death.

TRUST: When Rowan is missing villagers gladly join the search party.

DISTRUST: The villagers are armed. What would they be prepared to do?

Hero Archer / Trusted, but shouldn’t be:

He is jealous of Gabby’s relationship with his sister and father. He is willing to lie and point fingers in his resentment. He resents Gabby and is afraid she is replacing his mother. He is defensive and acts out against authority to hide his unhappiness.

Hero Archer / Isn’t trusted, but should be:

He is not responsible for vandalizing the centre and village.

He would never intentionally hurt anyone even if he was angry.

Under all his acting-out he loves and depends upon his father.

Archer just wants his mother back. He feels like his family is falling apart.

5. REViSION 2 THRILLER MAP – THE MAW:

OPENING: Quinn family driving to Jiggers Remorse. Archer arguing with father Henry about being forced to go (‘no wonder mom left you!’).

MYSTERY 1: What happened to his mother?

MYSTERY 2: Why are they going to Jiggers Remorse?

LIFE THREATENING 1: Disappearance of mother.

MYSTERY 3: Why is Archer so angry with his father?

INCITING INCIDENT: An approaching van veers, nearly forcing their car off the road to teeter on edge of a cliff. Henry has to call for a tow truck to take them to the island. TWIST: Archer is furious with father but depends of him to save the day in crisis.

LIFE THREATENING 2: Near fatal car accident.

VILLAINS’ PLAN 1: Were they intentionally driven off the road?

MYSTERY 4: Driver stops but when it looks like he was coming back to help, he sped up and raced away. DISTRUST: Is someone trying to intentionally hurt them?

LIFE THREATENING 3: Car slides off the cliff

TWIST: Just when it looked like they have been saved with the arrival of the tow truck, the car slides off edge and violently crashes to the bottom of the cliff, narrowly taking Archer with it. DISTRUST: Was the car pushed over the cliff?

MYSTERY 5: What kind of dialect are the locals speaking?

MYSTERY 6: What is different about Rowan? She hasn’t spoken since her mother disappeared. She has an almost strange affinity for animals. Stray dog starts following her around.

LIFE THREATENING 4: Fire in equipment shed at the Eco-Adventure Centre after Archer and Talulah had been there sorting ropes, preparing for the next day.

LIFE THREATENING 5: Archer tries to put the fire out, burning his hands.

TWIST: Archer is suspected of starting the fire and interrogated by RCMP from mainland. TRUST/DISTRUST: Talulah is his friend. Archer is shocked that Talulah does not speak up to defend him.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 2: Gabby convinces Henry to write an environmental report for the village, supporting the claim that the limestone cliffs and surrounding area needs to be a protected heritage site. Village council is upset when they realize it will attract more visitors. TWIST: They want him to demonstrate that it is a delicate eco-system that needs protection from human interference.

TRUST/DISTRUST: Henry agrees to do the report in good faith not realizing Gabby is using him to cause more distress to the village and alienating him from the locals.

TWIST: Henry has come to the island for more quality time with his kids but he seems to easily brush them aside. He buries himself in work to forget about his wife.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 3: Local regulations bog down the operation of the Eco- Centre in red tape. Gabby is looking like a noble victim. (Red Herring)

TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby says she wants to bring prosperity to the area and attract more visitors and business. ‘Put Jiggers Remorse on the map.’ But her eco-adventure venture is a scam to endanger the secret the villagers are protecting.

MYSTERY 7: What happened in the past that caused Gabby to be shunned and treated as an outcast? TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby blames the villagers attitude on their backward superstitions but as a teenager she tried to expose the Selkies connection to the area, alienating her.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 4: Increased vandalism of the Eco-Centre.

MYSTERY 8: Why is everyone so superstitious in Jiggers Remorse?

VILLAIN’S PLAN 5: Gabby appears to find local beliefs charming, an attraction. TRUST/DISTRUST: But she really thinks they are backward and uses their beliefs and fears to manipulate them.

MYSTERY 9: What are the mysterious lights and shrouded figures on the barrens at night? TWIST: The villagers want to keep people away but this just attracts more visitors and media attention.

TURNING POINT 1: Archer finds letters from mother that Henry had kept secret. TWIST: Henry was trying to keep Maeve’s secret but Archer now distrusts father for keeping something so important from him, increasing their discord. The letters just add fuel to Archer’s curiosity about his mother.

MYSTERY 10: Why did Henry hide Maeve’s letters? TRUST/DISTRUST: Archer always felt he could count on his father to tell him the truth but now he realizes that Henry has been hiding the real reason she left. Archer now questions everything Henry says.

LIFE THREATENING 6: When Archer asks too many questions in the village, locals treat him roughly and threaten him.

MYSTERY 11: Warnings not to go exploring without a guide outside the village because of dangerous terrain. DISTRUST: When Archer asks, there are never any guides available and he begins to suspect that dangers are exaggerated.

MYSTERY 12: Why are locals denying knowledge of Maeve? DISTRUST: Archer knows she was from the island.

MYSTERY 13: Why does Oona become agitated when she notices ridges on Archer’s hands? Tries to inspect Rowan but Archer intervenes. TWIST: Oona becomes more welcoming.

MYSTERY 14: Why is the Rowan’s stray dog frantically barking at night?

LIFE THREATENING 7: When scaling rock wall, Talulah spontaneously takes Archer’s turn. TWIST: The climbing rope breaks and she falls, leaving her bruised and shaken.

MYSTERY 15: Gabby sees that someone has tampered with the equipment and cut the rope. She does not hesitate to blame Archer. TRUST/DISTRUST: Archer knows he didn’t do it but will anyone believe him?

MYSTERY 16: What does Gabby have against Archer?

MYSTERY 17: Who really cut the rope?

MYSTERY 18: Why doesn’t Gabby report vandalism?

VILLAIN’S PLAN 6: Gabby drives a further wedge between Henry and his son. Gabby ingratiates herself with Henry, making him feel like she doesn’t want to get Archer into trouble. TWIST: Gabby spreads rumours about Archer being a delinquent. TWIST: Henry says he trusts Archer but believes everything Gabby tells him. TRUST/DISTRUST

LIFE THREATENING 8: The ominous Seamus Dromgoole rescues Archer and Rowan from hunter’s trap on edge of barrens. TWIST: The kids tried to obey the warnings but still found themselves in a dangerous situation. Danger is everywhere.

LIFE THREATENING 9: Henry meets up with Seamus and Cormac at local pub about the environmental report. When they say he should rein in his trouble- making son, a fight breaks out. TWIST: Henry defends Archer, accusing them of endangering his kids by setting traps near walking trails.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 7: Stories of a vicious predator killing animals. A gannet is found hanging on a tree outside the centre, viciously eviscerated. Gabby instills fear in Rowan, making her more dependent on her.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 8: Gabby makes an effort to be friendly. She entertains kids with stories about the Fairy Caves and smuggled treasure. TWIST: She wants to increase their curiosity about the caves. TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby would never encourage the kids to do something dangerous, would she? She neglects to tell them about the dangers of the tides.

LIFE THREATENING 10: Kids nearly drown while exploring caves when the tide rises. They have to climb the rock face to safety..

MIDPOINT: Since the terrifying experience in the caves, Archer notices Rowan is changing, avoiding him. She is more outgoing, preferring to spend time with Gabby who treats her more like a daughter than she does Talulah. TRUST/DISTRUST: Archer feels he has lost Rowan’s faith in him. Gabby undermines their relationship even further.

MYSTERY 19: Gabby loans Archer book on arcane traditions and local legends about Selkies, encouraging his interest. TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby warns Henry that Archer is developing an unhealthy interest in the arcane and the occult.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 9: Gabby is accused of trying to sabotage her own business by Seamus. He accuses her of misappropriating investors’ funds. She asks Henry for help. (Red Herring) TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby says she is being persecuted, has never been good enough for the villagers. She wants to evoke Henry’s sympathy and distort the truth.

MYSTERY 20: Archer visits community hall archives to get some answers from Oona about the Selkies. When she takes off her gloves, Archer sees that Oona’s hands have evidence of old scars. It is like she wants him to see them.

TWIST: Archer learns that his mother is a Selkie and the ridges on his hands are where webs have been removed when he was an infant. TRUST: Archer feels Oona is one of the few people in his life to tell him the truth.

MYSTERY 21: Does Henry know about the Selkie’s and his mother? Did he hide Maeve’s seal skin to force her to stay in human form and live on land with him?

MYSTERY 22: Screeches heard at night. Local stories of banshees foretelling imminent death.

LIFE THREATENING 11: Archer and Talulah find day hikers injured. They are airlifted to hospital on the mainland.

LIFE THREATENING 12: Major storm warnings.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 10: Gabby seduces Henry. TWISTS: An earlier relationship is revealed. TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby tells him that Talulah is his daughter.

LIFE THREATENING 13: Wind and high tides cause cliff edge to collapse, undermining the integrity of the Eco-Centre, forcing the Taylor’s and Quinn’s to evacuate and take refuge with Oona in community hall. TWIST: Oona is Gabby estranged mother.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 11: Gabby snoops through Henry’s environmental report. TWIST: Archer sees her and tells his father who doesn’t believe him.

TWIST: Gabby leaks information to media.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 12: When Henry questions how information got to media, Gabby redirects and accuses Henry of raping her, turning Archer further against his father. TWIST: Henry realizes Gabby is unstable. TRUST/DISTRUST: Can Henry believe anything Gabby says?

MYSTERY 23: Is Henry really Talulah’s father? If not, who is?

TURNING POINT 2: Rowan disappears.

LIFE THREATENING 14: Gabby reports she heard Rowan calling for her dog in the storm. TRUST/DISTRUST: Archer knows Rowan would be too afraid to go out in the storm. Gabby is lying.

LIFE THREATENING 15: Fear of vicious predator amps up in the village.

MYSTERY 24: Has Rowan wandered out on the barrens in search of her dog? Has she been a victim of the predator? TWIST: Armed villagers work together with Henry to organize search parties.

LIFE THREATENING 16: Henry decides to send Archer back to the city for his own protection. TWIST: Archer thinks Henry just wants him out of the way.

DISTRUST: Archer thinks Henry doesn’t trust him to help.

TWIST: Archer has run out of time to find Rowan and know more about his mother.

MYSTERY 25: What is Henry trying to protect Archer from?

LIFE THREATENING 17: Causeway damaged. TWIST: Island is cut off from the mainland during the storm. No one is going anywhere.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 13: Gabby frantically reports communications down. TRUST/ DISTRUST: Gabby blames it on the storm but in reality she cut the lines.

LIFE THREATENING 18: Archer and Talulah take off on their own to find Rowan.

MYSTERY 26: Archer and Talulah find Rowan’s dog, bleeding and injured, whining at the top of the cliff above Fairy Caves. Archer thinks he hears singing from the beach.

CLIMAX: Archer and Talulah discover Rowan tied up and captive in the cave. She is too terrified to tell them anything.

MYSTERY 27: Who did this and why?

VILLAINS’ PLAN 14: A crazed Gabby appears with a knife, threatening to kill Rowan if they don’t do as she says. Gabby orders Talulah to tie Archer up. TWIST: Talulah complies but leaves it loose. TRUST/DISTRUST: Gabby thinks Talulah will do as she says but Talulah decides to take a stand against her mother.

VILLAIN’S PLAN 15: Gabby has rigged explosives in the cave to destroy the gathering place of the Selkies. She would be happy if the whole village was destroyed.

LIFE THREATENING 19: Henry arrives with search party. Gabby is now cornered. No one makes a move afraid of endangering Rowan.

LIFE THREATENING 20: Dog attacks Gabby, loosening her hold of Rowan. Archer grabs Rowan out of the way. Just when Gabby is slashing at dog, a voice calls to her.

MYSTERY 28: Maeve and other Selkies emerge from ocean beckoning Gabby to join them. Gabby is mesmerized, drops the knife and follows Maeve into the water. TWIST: It was Maeve who Gabby loved all along and hated Henry for taking her away.

TWIST: Gabby had tried to reveal secret of Jiggers Remorse years ago alienating her from the village and her mother Oona.

LIFE THREATENING 21: Archer helps Talulah and Seamus throw the explosives into the ocean.

MYSTERY 29: Will Gabby drown? What will the Selkies do to Gabby?

RESOLUTION: Archer, Rowan, Henry and Oona and Talulah with rest of the villagers watch as Maeve appears one last time and then disappears into the ocean.

MYSTERY 30: Will the Quinn family help protect the secret of Jiggers Remorse?

MYSTERY 31: Will Archer resolve his problems with Henry?

MYSTERY 32: Will Archer and Rowan ever see their mother again?

[Carl Gundestrup]

Carl Gundestrup. Thriller Plot!

What I learned:

I learned that I can build a structure much better than before I started this program. But I also need to have a solid beginning – middle, and END. Not two out of three. But I am confident that will come as I move forward.

1. Eric meets with John Salyer, and establish Eric was a Seal first doc 2nd. John says something threatening. Setting up later that someone is interested in his device. Intrigue, foreshadowing, and mystery. Who is that person/persons? Who is an apparently work-alone serial killer working with? Why?

2. Bill Hancock is forced into being a killer. His and his family’s lives are threatened if he does not cooperate. Does not go as expected. Missed hit sets up consequences for Bill, warns Congressman of impending danger.

3. Eric is approached by His hospital administrator to finish his accreditation as a brain surgeon. Offer funding for his device research. It is subtly obvious that She wants Eric as a trophy husband and knows about his research. She wants in on several levels, and he is not interested in a controlling older woman. She becomes a suspect as a tool in the villain’s plan, and her own desires make her very suspect. She has unwittingly sent Eric into trouble by making him see that he needs to get past his hatred and talk to Bill.

4. Eric talks to Bill, and a bond is formed. Bad for Bill, bad for Eric. Larusha learns about it, and Bill goes back to jail to be killed.

5. Cayla arrives, and her life is spared by Eric, and Eric learns what has been going on. Stakes are now up because Eric is just getting started on the Big Picture, and Cayla’s enemies may now become his enemies if they work together. (Do we throw in an enemy to Cayla that has nothing to do with the Villain? Added mystery? Tension? Intrigue? Confusion? Are the two related? Is this guy with the Villain or working on his own?

6. Eric sees Bill will be killed in jail and bails him out. As a good Christian and to avoid losing a potential witness to his support his story.

7. Cayla goes to see her FBI boss, who is a possible tool of the villain because he let her partner die and did nothing, and he will use all his resources to help in the hunt for Eric and Cayla.

8. Cayla meets Bill’s 2 daughters and wife. Eric is in his study when Bill confides that he has given their location, or his son will die.

9. Eric goes off the rails and shoots 5 of Larusha’s men and forces them to take them to Larusha’s.

10. Eric uses the pizza girl to get into the house, and Larusha has the tables turned on him. Eric gets all of Larusha’s money, contacts, dirt on politicians, files, and computer.

11. Larusha dies from an implant at the base of his skull. (Larusha knows he is marked for death. Eric removes his implant – in return, Larusha gives Eric everything he knows and uses 100 million of his money and disappears. Eric gets the rest. Larusha is a wealth of information. Eric rushes Larusha to the ER and removes the device from the boy, which blows up the forceps. They pretend his death to ensure his safety. (hide this from the audience possibly?)

12. Eric, Cayla & Catherine are forced into hiding while they go through Larusha’s computer and files. Eric transfers all of Larusha’s money into his account. Maybe

13. We need to get into the villain’s plan deeper here. What traps is he is setting.

14. A congressman is killed. Eric sees that the car he owns is exactly the same as his and now realizes he was a mistake.

15. Eric uncovers a minor connection between his hospital administrator and Larusha. He figures out that Larusha paid Salyer to murder several people.

16. Eric is framed for killing Norman Larusha and becomes an enemy of the state as well as several more attempts on their lives. They ditch both their phones for burner phones. Eric could be exonerated by having Larusha testify. But then Larusha would lose his freedom.

17. Eric sends proof to the FBI and waits to see what they do. When they do not rescind his warrant, and he talks to them, he goes public. Eric does give the FINAL absolute proof, settling in his mind that the FBI can’t be trusted. The villain owns the FBI, CIA, NSA, and military possibly. He soon discovers he has international enemies when he is attacked in Mexico.

18. Eric learns that some people want his device – others want him dead, and some both.

19. Catherine and Eric have time together. Cayla gets in trouble, and Eric has to rescue her. He learned of her predicament from Catherine. !!! wow. Catherine and Cayla are linked.

20. He is captured and then saved by the FBI. FBI – owned by the villain, is dying to know what he knows and what files he has.

21. Eric finds the congressman’s file. The world is about to come down on him! Eric tells the villain through the FBI – Back off, or copies of this file will be put on the net, and every news agency in the WORLD will have every detail of the villain’s plan. Things go quiet.

22. Villain gets his own copy of the congressman’s file and learns Eric really has nothing.

23. But Eric has Larusha’s file, and with the congressman’s, it is pretty good, but it too is not complete. Just a list of the things the Congressman was privy to.

24. Eric starts to turn the tables a bit. Larusha’s files give him some insights as to who is on the villain’s team.

25. Eric pretends to have information from his device and gathers new information by asking John Salyer very specific questions. The villain is getting concerned, which ups the ante.

26. Villain gets Catherine – The villain learns she is pregnant and tells Eric to give him all the files or he will kill both of them. Eric says you harm either one, and every agency in the world will know every detail of your plan and who you are. You are a liar – You can’t allow us to live. Eric placed a tracker in Catherine’s foot.

27. He gets Catherine back but loses Cayla. Villain has framed Cayla as an informant. Eric believes it is a lie. Eric bluffs and says – She was working for you anyway. Go ahead, kill her. Eric finds Cayla and saves both, and goes public.

[Ken Callaway]

KEN CALLAWAY’S TRUST RELATIONSHIPS

This assignment made me realize that some smaller twists were also trust/distrust issues.

LIST OF MAIN CHARACTERS

· Hero: Kevin Frye

· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood

· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley

· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Genevieve Oakwood

· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien

CHARACTER’S BASIC STATE

· Hero: Kevin Frye – Trustworthy

· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood – Untrustworthy

· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley – Trustworthy

· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Mae Frye, mother – Untrustworthy

· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien – Trustworthy

HOW TRUST and DISTRUST UNFOLDS

· Hero / Villain: The deeper Kevin Falls for Genevieve the less he can trust her

· Hero / Red Herring: Kevin discovers Hux is actually fighting against the fairies

· Hero / Trusted but shouldn’t be: As the story progresses the Kevin learns that his blood pits him against humankind

· Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: When Kevin learns his true nature he has no choice but to join the fairies

OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.

· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?

· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman? Who are the nurses?

· Trust: The woman seems caring

· Distrust: The nurses seem otherworldly

· Direction: Woman leaves with child

· Twist: building falls on nurses.

· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch. He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm.

· Trust: Kevin seems sympathetic

· Direction: Boys are fighting intense storm at sea.

· Trust: They appear to be brave

· Twist: Boat is not at sea, it’s in a muddy Birmingham scrap yard. The four are just playing in the rain.

· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates.

· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard.

· Distrust: They don’t like Kevin’s game

· Twist: Kevin pops up out of the mud, smiling. His friends are elated.

· Trust: Even though they were playing rough Kevin stays positive, fun

· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to the scout jamboree at Oakwood Green.

· Distrust: Why is it so important to his mother for Kevin to go?

· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother, but does not want to go. Kevin is crestfallen as he and his friends board the transport truck.

· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”

· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.

INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.

· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun.

· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin, covertly throwing his kitbag into a river.

· Distrust: Hux has it out for Kevin

· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich, Kevin can’t find his kitbag – he’s devastated, his father’s knife is gone.

· Distrust: Kevin realizes Hux is to blame

· Mystery 4: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop.

· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop.

· Trust: Kevin’s friends play along with him

· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl.

· Distrust: The shopkeeper appears to be lying

· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper, she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave.

· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl.

· Distrust: Kevin feels threatened

· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail.

· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies. Begins running, gets turned around.

· Direction: Kevin, now lost sees a girl riding a horse in the distance.

· Distrust: The girl ignores Kevin

· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as the fairies chase him.

· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider.

· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin. Sends him back to camp.

· Distrust: Changes Kevin’s trajectory

· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow.

· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge.

· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow.

· Distrust: Tolly knows Kevin will not win the game

· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks.

· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow.

· Distrust: Tolly knows the stronger bow creates a greater challenge

· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t budge the string. He lies on his back, uses his feet and wins the challenge.

· Trust: Tolly’s faith in Kevin builds

· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work.

· Distrust: Hux abandons Kevin

· Twist: While digging Kevin finds what appears to be his father’s knife under a rune stone, then is startled by a tiny fairy.

TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy.

· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something.

· Trust: Hux appears concerned

· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the fairy but Hux insists it’s a rabbit.

· Distrust: Hux is lying, threatening Kevin

· Mystery 5: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?

· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp.

· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy.

· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.

· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin.

· Distrust: Tolly doesn’t believe Kevin’s story

· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise.
Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy.

· Trust: Kevin believes Tolly’s story

· Mystery 6: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor.

· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture.

· Distrust: She’s not Kevin’s mystery girl

· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve – she points to a girl standing in the bramble nearby.

· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks.

· Distrust: Why would she purposefully jump between Kevin and the horse?

· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly.

· Direction: The horse kicks the girl.

· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety.

· Trust: Mystery girl saved by Kevin

· Direction: The horse and rider run off.

· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied. The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood.

· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor and is met by two odd nurses.

· Distrust: Kevin is unnerved by the nurses

· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away.

· Distrust: Kevin is unsure the rider tried to hurt/kill him

MIDPOINT

· Direction: Left alone, Kevin peers into a room sees a horribly disfigured man in a dental chair being tended by nurse.

· Distrust: The shocking sight panics Kevin

· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him. Kevin runs away to a great hall, sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor.

· Distrust: Everything at Oakwood seems evil

· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp.

· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny.

· Distrust: The Shipleys don’t believe Kevin

· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them.

· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand.

· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group.

· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner.

· Trust: Hux appears to warm up to Kevin

· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a nice wood woggle with his rune knife.

· Twist: Father Fox likes it asks if Kevin will trade him for his carved bone woggle. They trade.

· Trust: Father Fox appreciated Kevin’s talents

· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies.

· Distrust; Kevin feels that Tolly knows more than he is letting on

· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim.

· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim.

· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness.

· Distrust: Kevin thinks Hux is involved in the disappearances

· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor.

· Twist: Kevin asks his friends to help him search Oakwood to find Jim, Hux overhears them.

· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin follows Hux, gets separated from his friends. Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister is dead, stabbed.

· Distrust: Kevin believes Genevieve may have killed her

· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux

· Trust: Kevin reluctantly relays his fears

· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies

· Trust: Hux gives Kevin back his knife back to protect himself, apologizes

· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind.

· Mystery 7: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen.”

· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.

· Distrust: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away.

· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything.

· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed.

· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin, the blood fairy king.

· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same path

· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted.

· Distrust: Genevieve’s “path” story matches the shopkeepers

· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp. Enlists the help of the Shipleys, who take Kevin back to Oakwood.

· Twist: They speak to the nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood.

TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys and Kevin that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a patient at Oakwood Insane Asylum. Oldfather notices Kevin is now completely blind.

· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp.

· Trust: Kevin opens up to the Shipleys

· Distrust: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim.

· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war has begun.”

· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck. Hands Kevin a kitbag.

· Distrust: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear.

· Mystery 8: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen.

· Trust: Tolly was right, Kevin could have imagined it all

· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything.

· Twist: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve.

· Mystery 9: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house caring for his blind, catatonic father.

· Direction: Kevin feeds his father.

· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on.

· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”

· Distrust: Kevin’s mother answers, “He doesn’t know.”

· Mystery 10: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories.

· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted.”

· Trust: She says “I didn’t adopt you, you were given to me.”

· Mystery 11: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot.

· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated.

· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”

· Direction: His mother sets the letter down.

· Distrust: We see that the letter is from Oakwood Asylum accepting Kevin as a patient.

· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum.

· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds.

· Twist: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand.

· Trust: Kevin asks her name and she answers – “Genevieve.”

CLIMAX: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.

· Direction: Oldfather and the nurses begin the “assembling” for Kevin, they hold up his new eyes

· Twist: Genevieve looks on.

RESOLUTIN: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.

· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.

· Twist: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes.

· Distrust: Kevin and Genevieve will lead the fairies against mankind

[Serita Stevens]

Red Herring — Dr. Chu – not trusted but should be. She doesn’t trust him because he went to Harvard and studied the Transplant method and is from China.

Villain – Dr. Brock – hero trusts him but shouldn’t be. He’s romancing her but he is head of the illegal transplants. He later looks the other way when she’s escaping because of his feelings have developed for her.

Nurse Li – hero isn’t sure she can trust her but when she does she finds her murdered before she can talk.

[Carl Gundestrup]

• Hero: Eric Neilsen

• Villain: 1st is Norman Larusha. Eric’s objective is to find the guy at the very top.

• Red Herring Character: FBI boss James Shaydie

• Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Kathleen Carion – Congressman Brad Phillips

• Isn’t trusted, but should be: Bill Hancock / Norm Larusha

• Cayla Amundsen – Cayla is Eric’s sidekick who is a disgruntled FBI agent. She gets squeezed, and we have to wonder if she is playing Eric or in a bad circumstance.

Eric saves Larusha, and they have a deal. When Eric is framed for Norm’s murder – Norm remains silent for a long time. He could let Eric go to prison and be killed. Norm comes to Eric’s rescue.

James Shaydie looks out for James.

The EVEN newer twists and turns are in bold

1. Eric meets with John Salyer and establishes that Eric was a Seal first and a doctor 2nd. John says something threatening. Setting up later that someone is interested in Eric’s device. Intrigue, foreshadowing, and mystery. Who is that person/persons? Who is an apparently work-alone serial killer working with? Why?

2. Bill Hancock is forced into being a killer. His and his family’s lives are threatened if he does not cooperate. Does not go as expected. Missed hit sets up consequences for Bill, warns Congressman of impending danger.

3. Eric is approached by His hospital administrator Kathleen Carion to finish his accreditation as a brain surgeon. She Offers to fund his device research. It is subtly obvious that She wants Eric as a trophy husband and knows about his research. She wants in on several levels, and he is not interested in a controlling older woman. She becomes a suspect as a tool in the villain’s plan, and her own desires make her very suspect. She has unwittingly sent Eric into trouble by making him see that he needs to get past his hatred and talk to Bill.

4. Kathleen becomes an unwitting savior by interfering with Eric’s plan

5. Eric talks to Bill, and a bond is formed. Bad for Bill, bad for Eric. Larusha learns about it, and Bill goes back to jail to be killed.

6. Cayla arrives, and her life is spared by Eric, and Eric learns what has been going on. Stakes are now up because Eric is just getting started on the Big Picture, and Cayla’s enemies may now become his enemies if they work together. (We throw in an enemy to Cayla that has nothing to do with the Villain but threatens their lives? Added mystery? Tension? Intrigue? Confusion? Are the two related? Is this guy with the Villain or working on his own?

7. Eric sees Bill will be killed in jail and bails him out. As a good Christian and to avoid losing a potential witness to his support his story.

8. Cayla goes to see her FBI boss, James Shaydie who is a possible tool of the villain because he let her partner die and did nothing, and he will use all his resources to help in the hunt for Eric and Cayla. Shaydie is getting played by the Villain AND several other of the villain’s friends. Actually, a decent guy in the end.

9. Cayla meets Bill’s 2 daughters and wife. Eric is in his study when Bill confides that he has given their location, or his KIDNAPPED son will die.

10. Eric goes off the rails and shoots 5 of Larusha’s men and forces them to take them to Larusha’s.

11. Eric uses the pizza girl to get into the house, and Larusha has the tables turned on him. Eric gets all of Larusha’s money, contacts, dirt on politicians, files, and computer.

12. (Larusha knows he is marked for death. Eric rushes Larusha to the ER and removes implant from Larusha’s head and disappears. Eric is framed for the abduction and murder of Norman Lurusha. Eric get’s Larusha’s chest of hard drives is a wealth of information. They pretend his death to ensure his safety. (hide this from the audience possibly?)

13. Eric, Cayla & Catherine are forced into hiding while they go through Larusha’s computer and files. Eric transfers all of Larusha’s money into his account.

14. Eric sees that Minnesota Congressman Brad Phillips car is exactly the same as Eric’s and he uses that car to get to work everyday. Eric realizes he was a mistake.

15. The villain gives Eric the chance to “get out” and he does not take it.

16. Eric approaches Brad Phillips and tells his story and asks why Norm was told to kill him? Brad is freaked. He tells Eric about the CIA analyst buddy Jermain Cross who was found robbed and dead in an alley in a bad part of town. Framed for cheating on his wife and no serious investigation by the police or the CIA. FBI does a perfunctory investigation and it is quickly all over with.

17. Eric uncovers Cathleen told Larusha about his device after Salyer told him about it. Larusha was using Kathleen to get it. He figures out that Larusha paid Salyer to murder several people.

18. Brad Phillips is killed shortly after getting Jermain’s CIA file. Eric gets framed for Brad and Norman. Salyer says Eric told him he was going to kill Brad and Norman. Then Jermain is tagged on to his supposed killing spree.

19. Eric becomes an enemy of the state as well as several more attempts on their lives. Larusha’s hard drives self-destruct. They ditch both their phones for burner phones. Eric could be exonerated by having Larusha testify. Larusha has cut off all contact. Double-crossed Eric and remains in hiding.

20. We have a Kathleen-hired character who attempts to kill Eric and take his device that has nothing to do with the villain.

21. Eric sends proof to the FBI and waits to see what they do. When they do not rescind his warrant, and he talks to them, he goes public. Eric does give the FINAL absolute proof, settling in his mind that the FBI can’t be trusted. The villain owns the FBI, CIA, NSA, and military, possibly. Eric soon discovers he has international enemies when he is attacked by a foreigner who wants the device.

22. Catherine and Eric have time together. Cayla gets in trouble, and Eric has to rescue her. He learned of her predicament from Catherine. !!! wow. Catherine and Cayla are linked.

23. Eric is captured and then saved by the FBI. FBI – owned by the villain, who is dying to know what he knows and what files he has and where they are are. Eric tells the FBI “You KNOW I’m innocent – Why aren’t you publishing the facts. I was nowhere near any of the 3 men at the time of their deaths. I can prove where I was.” Shadydie’s boss wants Eric’s files. They let Eric go to follow him. Cayla’s trust comes into question here as they follow Eric. How did they know unless Cayla told them.

24. Eric finds the congressman’s file. The world is about to come down on him! Eric surrounded and they will kill him and take all his files when the Quorum of the 12 save him.

25. Villain gets his own copy of the congressman’s file and learns Eric really has very little of the big plan.

26. Eric bluff’s that he knows more than he does because of his device. Larusha’s file, and with the congressman’s, it is pretty good, but it, too is not complete. Just a list of the things the Congressman was privy to and some names and incriminating stuff without solid proof. Eric starts to turn the tables a bit. Larusha’s computer gives him some insights as to who is on the villain’s team.

27. Eric pretends to have information from his device and gathers new information by asking John Salyer very specific questions. The villain is getting concerned, which ups the ante.

28. Villain gets Catherine – The villain learns she is pregnant and tells Eric to give him all the files or he will kill both of them. Eric says you harm either one, and every agency in the world will know every detail of your plan and who you are. You are a liar – You can’t allow us to live. Eric placed a tracker in Catherine’s foot.

29. The quorum of the 12 give him details and facts he had no clue about regarding the global scope of what is happening. “Banking – inflation – division of America – invasion of Ukraine” It’s like you are taking the temperature of a patient that hours to live. You’re seeing symptoms, not the disease.

30. Eric gets Catherine back but loses Cayla. Villain has framed Cayla as an informant. Eric believes it is a lie. But – SHE MIGHT BE. Eric bluffs and says – She was working for you anyway. Go ahead, kill her. Eric finds Cayla and saves her but is captured by the FBI. He is on trial and brings in his device to question the congressman and several others.

31. Villain’s minions tamper with Eric’s device to discredit him. Now it has audio with the video.

32. Eric goes public with Everything he can prove.

33. Next episode: “A Thousand Words” Eric’s airtight proof comes into a spin doctor, and he becomes the victim.

[Carl Gundestrup]

Carl Gundestrup

Dramatic Reveals:

What I learned:

I learned how to set up a reveal in far greater detail and with emotional impact. I have to say here- This is all coming so fast, and my story is so complex I’m worried! LOL. I need time. But I am loving this class!!!! I feel like I want to CLEAN up everything. This is like remodeling a house. You have scraps and junk scattered from Heck to breakfast, and you want the house clean and put back together. But that will be some time — in the distant future. I had most of the reveals in place. But they were not perhaps as powerful as they could be. I also want to go back and do more bizarre or mind-bending twists to the story.

Some of the new reveals will add some punch to the show. Eric was booted from Navy Seals after he went after a bad commanding officer. He was basically justified, so rather than creating a PR nightmare for the Navy, they let Eric go to med school.

But we reveal that when Eric goes off, he is a tornado with precision skills and perhaps lacks a good deal of clear judgment. But it is fun. Revealing Catherine is trapped in her body but very coherent, I think, will be a huge emotional explosion for women. The love triangle of Catherine – Cayla, and Eric will be awesome. Cayla’s switch from the ruthless man stealer to Catherine’s advocate/protector with endear her to everyone. Catherine getting pregnant and Eric learning that from the villain will be a huge reveal. Eric calling his bluff and tells him, “You touch my wife and child, and Every aborigine in the farthest reaches of the planet will know every detail of your plans and who you are!

I think I have a great show – But right now, it is a trainwreck looking for a supervisor to clean the track and get everything back in working order.

1. Eric’s device can find the truth by asking the right question causing the person to remember. It produces images and precisely measures lies or truth.

2. Thor’s death and Catherine’s demise were a planned hit.

3. Norm knows about Eric’s device, and there are people who want it.

4. Bill Hancock was forced into attempting the hit.

5. Eric was not really the intended victim.

6. Catherine is trapped inside her body but very much awake.

7. Norman Larusha is a mafia fixer who orchestrated the hit.

8. Why did Larusha try to kill him?

9. Whom is Larusha working for?

10. Cayla is semi-rogue FBI agent.

11. Why was her partner killed? Why didn’t the FBI investigate?

12. Eric’s wife and son were intended victims of a hit.

13. Cayla has enemies.

14. Who is Larusha’s intended target if it is not Eric?

15. Why is Bill sent by his attorney back to jail?

16. Bill has given up their location because they have his son.

17. Eric has a loose cannon side. He was going to be booted from Seals because he can become unhinged. He avoided a court martial by becoming a doctor.

18. Why was the Congressman targeted?

19. What does the Congressman know?

20. The connection between Congressman Brad Phillips and the dead CIA analyst

21. John Salyer was not just a serial killer. He was a hitman on a contract.

22. How are Sarah Carrion and Norm Laursha connected?

23. People want Eric’s device and are willing to kill for it.

24. What did Jermain discover that got him killed?

25. What did Jermain do with what he knew?

26. How much does the congressman know, and where is it?

27. CIA – FBI – NSA- Justice dept. are all involved in cover-ups, hits, and clandestine work for an overseeing power.

28. Catherine is pregnant.

29. Villain tries to squeeze Eric. Eric calls his bluff. You touch my wife, and aborigines in the deepest part of Australia, the Amazon, and Asia will know every detail of what you have done and what you’re planning. Do you really expect me to believe that you will honor your word and let us go?

30. Eric has friends – Former Seals – Quorum

31. Quorum of the 12 secret organization set up. Saves Eric and the whole thing.

32. Eric’s device does NOT do audio.

33. Minions mess with Eric’s device and NOW it get’s audio and they are nailed! CLINCHER!

The EVEN newer twists and turns are in bold

1. Eric meets with John Salyer and establishes that Eric was a Seal first and a doctor 2nd. Eric says “Anger management is not a strong point.” John says something threatening. Setting up later that someone is interested in Eric’s device. Intrigue, foreshadowing, and mystery. Who is that person/persons? Why is John a work-alone serial killer working with someone? Who? We learn that Eric’s device is valid and very accurate in finding the truth.

2. Bill Hancock is forced into being a killer. His and his family’s lives are threatened if he does not cooperate. Does not go as expected. Missed hit sets up consequences for Bill. Congressman sees the accident – no clue of impending danger.

3. Eric is approached by His hospital administrator Sarah Carrion to finish his accreditation as a brain surgeon. She Offers to fund his device research. It is subtly obvious that She wants Eric as a trophy husband and knows about his research. She wants in on several levels, and he is not interested in a controlling older woman. Sarah becomes a suspect as a tool in the villain’s plan, and her own desires make her very suspect. She has unwittingly sent Eric into trouble by making him see that he needs to get past his hatred and talk to Bill.

4. Eric talks to Bill, and a bond is formed. Bad for Bill, bad for Eric. Larusha learns about it, and Bill goes back to jail to be killed.

5. Cayla arrives. Eric saves her from a kidnapping. Eric learns his accident was a mafia-style hit. Stakes are now up because Eric is just getting started on the Big Picture. Who are Cayla’s enemies? Are they now Eric’s? (We throw in an enemy to Cayla that has nothing to do with the Villain but threatens their lives? Added mystery? Tension? Intrigue? Confusion? Are the two related? Is this guy with the Villain or working on his own? (MAYBE)

6. Why is Cayla going rogue on the FBI? What happened to her Partner?

7. Eric sees Bill will be killed in jail and bails him out. As a good Christian and to avoid losing a potential witness to his support his story.

8. Cayla goes to see her FBI boss, James Shaydie, who is a possible tool of the villain because he let her partner die and did nothing, and he will use all his resources to help in the hunt for Eric and Cayla. Shaydie is getting played by the Villain AND several other of the villain’s friends. Actually, a decent guy in the end.

9. Cayla meets Bill’s 2 daughters and wife. Eric is in his study when Bill confides that he has given their location, or his KIDNAPPED son will die.

10. Eric goes off the rails and shoots 5 of Larusha’s men and forces them to take them to Larusha’s. We discover Eric was let go by the Seals. When he lost it. Eric has anger management issues.

11. Eric uses the pizza girl to get into the house, and Larusha has the tables turned on him. Eric gets all of Larusha’s money, contacts, dirt on politicians, files, and computer.

12. (Larusha knows he is marked for death. Eric rushes Larusha to his hospital and removes the implant from Larusha’s head. Larusha disappears. Eric get’s Larusha’s chest of hard drives and paper files which is a wealth of information. They pretend his death to ensure his safety. (hide this from the audience, possibly?)

13. Eric, Cayla & Catherine are forced into hiding while they go through Larusha’s computer and files. Eric transfers all of Larusha’s money into his account.

14. Eric sees that Minnesota Congressman Brad Phillips’s car is exactly the same as Eric’s, and he uses that car to get to work every day. Eric realizes he was a mistake.

15. Jermain CIA analyst, is killed.

16. Eric has the chance to “get out” and does not take it.

17. Eric approaches Brad Phillips and tells his story, and asks why Norm was told to kill him. Brad is freaked. He tells Eric about the CIA analyst buddy Jermain Cross who was found robbed and dead in an alley in a bad part of town. Framed for cheating on his wife, and no serious investigation by the police or the CIA. FBI does a perfunctory investigation, and it is quickly all over with.

18. Eric uncovers that Sarah told Larusha about his device after Salyer told him about it. Larusha was using Sarah to get it. He figures out that Larusha paid Salyer to murder several people.

19. Brad Phillips is killed shortly after getting Jermain’s CIA file. Eric gets framed for Brad and Norman. Salyer says Eric told him he was going to kill Brad and Norman. Then Jermain is tagged onto his supposed killing spree.

20. Eric becomes an enemy of the state as well as several more attempts on their lives. Larusha’s hard drives self-destruct. They ditch both their phones for burner phones. Eric could be exonerated by having Larusha testify. Larusha has cut off all contact. Double-crossed Eric and remains in hiding.

21. We reveal the connection between Jermain at the CIA and Cayla’s partner at the FBI.

22. We have a Sarah-hired character who attempts to kill Eric and take his device, which has nothing to do with the villain.

23. Eric sends proof of his whereabouts to the FBI, proving he killed no one. He waits to see what they do. When they do not rescind his warrant, and he talks to them, he goes public. Eric does give the FINAL absolute proof, settling in his mind that the FBI can’t be trusted. The villain possibly owns the FBI, CIA, NSA, and military. Eric soon discovers he has international enemies when he is attacked by a foreigner who wants the device.

24. Catherine and Eric have time together. Cayla gets in trouble, and Eric has to rescue her. He learned of her predicament from Catherine. !!! wow. Catherine and Cayla are linked.

25. Eric is captured and then saved by the FBI. FBI seems owned by the villain, who is dying to know what Eric knows, what files he has, and where they are. Eric tells the FBI, “You KNOW I’m innocent – Why aren’t you publishing the facts? I was nowhere near any of the 3 men at the time of their deaths. I can prove where I was.” Shadydie’s boss wants Eric’s files. They let Eric go to follow him. Cayla’s trust comes into question here as they follow Eric. How did they know unless Cayla told them?

26. Eric finds the congressman’s file. The world is about to come down on him! Eric is surrounded, and they will kill him and take all his files when the Quorum of the 12 saves him. The 12 open the door to a global plot.

27. Villain gets his own copy of the congressman’s file and learns Eric really has very little of the global plan.

28. Eric bluffs that he knows more than he does because of his device. Larusha’s file, and with the congressman’s, it is pretty good, but it, too is not complete. Just a list of the things the Congressman was privy to and some names and incriminating stuff without solid proof. Eric starts to turn the tables a bit. Larusha’s computer gives him some insights as to who is on the villain’s team.

29. Eric pretends to have information from his device and gathers new information by asking John Salyer very specific questions. The villain is getting concerned, which ups the ante.

30. Villain gets Catherine – The villain tells Eric Catherine is with child and tells Eric to give him all the files or he will kill both of them. Eric says you harm either one, and every agency in the world will know every detail of your plan and who you are. You are a liar – You can’t allow us to live. Eric placed a tracker in Catherine’s foot.

31. The quorum of the 12 give him details and facts he had no clue about regarding the global scope of what is happening. “Banking – inflation – division of America – the invasion of Ukraine” It’s like you are taking a patient’s temperature that hours to live. You’re seeing symptoms, not the disease.

32. Eric gets Catherine back but loses Cayla. Villain has framed Cayla as an informant. Eric believes it is a lie. But – SHE MIGHT BE. Eric bluffs and says – She was working for you anyway. Go ahead, kill her. Eric finds Cayla and saves her but is captured by the FBI. He is on trial and brings in his device to question the congressman and several others.

33. Villain’s minions tamper with Eric’s device to discredit him. Now it has audio with the video.

34. Eric goes public with Everything he can prove.

35. The Villain does damage control and doubles down on Eric in the next installment.

36. Next episode: “A Thousand Words” Eric’s airtight proof comes into a spin doctor, and he becomes the victim.

[Lenore]

Lenore Bechtel’s Trust Relationships

I learned that having characters the hero trusts when he shouldn’t and doesn’t trust when he should builds emotion, intrigue, and suspense in the story. I added nine new things to my Thriller Map by doing this assignment.

1.

Hero: Elijah

Villain: Melantha

Red Herring Character: Zayden

Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Cassandra

Isn’t trusted, but should be: always Melantha, sometimes Sheriff Janeen and Buzz

2.

Elijah must find and expose his father’s murderer before he himself is killed. Whoever killed Daniel for what he saw by gift of remote-viewing will know that Daniel’s gift will now equal his father’s.

Melantha is not trustable, but appears trustable because she is the town’s thoughtful, benevolent matriarch and is loved and admired by the entire community

Zayden is trustable, but appears not trustable because he’s more interested in buying Elijah’s property than in allowing Elijah time to mourn.

Cassandra is not trustable, but—even though she’s a hologram—she seems real to Elijah, who researches and discovers the true backstory of a psychic girl whose father put her in hiding after her mother tried to exploit her—the story Cassandra claims as her own. Therefore, Elijah trusts her until she tries to lead him to an open grave.

Elijah doesn’t know whether or not to trust Sheriff Janeen, who was cool and composed when getting Daniel’s dead body out of his crashed car, but cried over-emotionally at his funeral. Adding to Elijah’s confusion are pictures he sees of her being overly chummy with Daniel. Elijah wonders if she might have killed his mother three months earlier—another death considered to be an accident.

Elijah wants to trust his best friend Buzz, but can he truly? After all, Buzz is the son of Zayden, whom Buzz might be keeping informed of what Elijah plans to do and when.

3.

ELIJAH/MELANTHA

Trust: Elijah trusts Melantha who agrees that Daniel was murdered for something he saw remotely.
Trust: Melantha brings Elijah a quiche and fruit for breakfast.
Trust: Melantha brings a casserole and salad after Elijah’s getting burned at the wreck site. She promises her simpleton brother Sonny will bring Elijah a set of encyclopedias for him to take to college.
Distrust: After he almost walks into an open grave, Elijah finds Melantha at the wheel of a backhoe. Elijah chides himself for at first being suspicious.
Trust: Melantha comes to the hospital and offers for Elijah to stay at her house when he’s dismissed.
Trust: When Elija exits the church, he bumps into Melantha, who says she’s there to water plants.

ELIJAH/ZAYDEN

Distrust: Zayden talks real estate business to Elijah, the grieving son.
Distrust: Driving Elijah and Buzz to the hospital after Daniel’s car blew up, Zayden ups his offer for Elijah’s home.
Distrust: Zayden tells Buzz and Elijah he’ll be at the bottom of The Snake to get their pictures riding it in their graduation caps and gowns.
Distrust: After both boys are hospitalized, Zayden asks Elijah to name him beneficiary to his house in exchange for all college expenses paid.

CASSANDRA/ELIJAH

1. Trust: Elijah trusts Cassandra after Buzz defends her for not attending the funeral. He has researched her and found the truth of her story about being an abused child psychic whose father hides her to keep her mother from exploiting her.

2. Mistrust: Elijah wonders why Cassandra didn’t arrive a little early on the day she missed his father’s funeral, but she regains his trust by supporting his theory that his father was murdered.

3. Trust: The psychic clue she gave him came true: his dad’s wrecked car contained his dad’s phone.

4. Mistrust: When he puts his coat over her shoulders, she disappears in thin air.

5. Mistrust: When he realizes that his next step on his walk with her would have been into an open grave.

SHERIFF JANEEN/ELIJAH.

Trust: But Elijah’s surprised at Janeen’s extreme tears and emotion at Daniel’s funeral.
Distrust: Lucy shows him compromising pictures of Janeen and Daniel.
Trust: She tells him she prevented a crime without any help, but is expecting his help from now on.
Trust: She admits the took the newspaper’s camera.
Trust: She tells him she’s pregnant with Daniel’s baby.

BUZZ/ELIJAH

Trust: Although Buzz thinks Elijah is crazy for falling in love with a girl who won’t let him touch her, he researches her and says she truly is the psychic she says she is.
Distrust: When Buzz suggests that Janeen maybe have killed Elijah’s mother to make Daniel a single man, is he trying to deflect Elijah’s suspicions about his own father?
Distrust: Did Buzz got Elijah drunk, did he do it to entice Elijah into breaking the rule for keeping his gift?
Trust: Buzz helps Elijah tear his way into Daniel’s wrecked car and catches fire when it explodes.
Trust: Buzz passes Elijah on The Snake and is first to run into the tree trunk pulled across the road.

NEW VERSION OF MY THRILLER MAP

Opening: Daniel’s graveside service

Unnamed people hug a distraught Elijah and oldsters tell him the Gift will now be his.
Mention of Daniel’s excellence as a minister. Mention of his grandmother and his great grandmother and the sadness of losing his mother only a few months ago.
Janeen (red-eyed and weeping) tells him she’ll now depend upon him to let her know any crimes being planned in Bellamounta.
Melantha assures him he’s right to think someone murdered his father and now they’ll be after Elijah.
Sonny, wide-eyed and frightened tells Elijah to be careful.
Zayden tells Elijah his offer to buy the Evans’ property to build a hotel and theme park still stands His wife Vera reprimands him for bringing up the subject at this time.
Buzz tells Elijah even though he still thinks he’s crazy for falling in love with a girl who won’t let him touch her, he thinks Cassandra was not being disrespectful by not coming to the funeral. They talk about her father’s unreasonable restrictions that control her life.
Melantha brings Elijah a quiche and fruit either for tonight or for breakfast the next day.

Inciting incident:

Cassandra says her psychic skill tells her a clue to his murder is in his wrecked car.
Lucy and Elijah finds pictures on the newspapers camera of Daniel and Janeen kissing.
Buzz suggests Janeen might have pushed Elijah’s mother down the belfry stairs to her death.
Helicopter pilot Shay, flying Elijah and Buzz to Daniel’s wrecked car, tells how Janeen was calm and cool when he flew her and Fire Chief Kevin to pull Daniel’s body from the smashed car. Also mentions Melantha loading her plane with large canisters.
Elijah finds Daniel’s cellphone in the wrecked car and pockets it. He opens the glove compartment, hears ticking, and jumps head-first out of the car before it explodes in flames.
Both he and Buzz catch on fire and roll in prickly bushes to put out the flame.
Sonny bemoans the mess they’ve made of the plane.
Zayden, driving both boys to the hospital, offers Elijah a higher price for his property.
Buzz assures Elijah his escape before the car exploded means he’s got his gift back.
Malantha and Sonny bring Elijah a casserole and salad.
Elijah calls a number from his father’s phone and calls Grayson, an FBI agent.
Elijah and Cassandra see Sonny passing—says he look like Jesus since he’s grown a beard.
Lucy, who awakens and finds camera missing, thinks someone spiked her tea.
Janeen brags about preventing a crime without help, but weeps to Elijah about Daniel.
On their bicycles Elijah passes Buzz and both take a blind curve without slowing down. Turning point 1:
Cassandra, leading Elijah into an open grave vanishes when Elijah puts his jacket on her shoulders.
Matilda (or Sonny—I can’t decide) drive a backhoe, wanting to fill the hole before someone gets hurt.
Elijah and Buzz discussion about her vanishing leads to speculation about holograms.
Sonny said he saw some at Disneyworld when Melantha worked there.
Elijah feels certain he’s lost his gift when Lucy tells him about helping an injured calf.
Zayden says he’ll wait at the bottom to take pictures of Elijah and Buzz as they bike down The Snake in their caps and gowns.
Buzz passes Elijah on The Snake and both crash into a tree blocking the path around the blind curve.
Elijah drags Buzz (unconscious) toward Zayden, who is waiting cellphone in hand.
In the hospital Zayden offers to pay Elijah’s college expenses if he’ll name him as beneficiary in his will.
Midpoint:
As Vera and Zoe comes into the hospital room, Elijah calls out, “Cassandra!”
Elijah lies to a doctor assessing his mental health, saying he’d never seen Zoe before.
Melantha and Vera argue politely about which of them should take Elijah home for the night.
Zoe’s telling about her role in a movie convinced Elijah that Cassandra is her hologram.
Elijah, leaving the church after asking God’s forgiveness for misusing his gift, bumps into Melantha coming in with aa big bag.
Janeen tells Elijah she’s pregnant with his dad’s child and swears their attraction to each other came only after his mother’s death.
In bed, Elijah begs God to give him back his gift.

Turning point 2:

Taking trash out, Elijah is blasted with a spray that knocks him out.
Sonny drops the hose and dials Melantha and then. 911.
Melantha removes the hose from the canister and runs away with Sonny.
Medics wheel Elijah to an ambulance.
Janeen and Kevin smell the gas and take the hose with them.
Zoe and Vera watch over Elijah, still unconscious in a hospital bed.
Kevin, Janeen, Grayson, and other FBI agents discuss the deadly gas concoction.
Elijah awakens and asks Cassandra to use her psychic skills to find who’s trying to kill him.
Melantha assures a worried Sonny that whatever happens to Elijah, it is not his fault.
Elijah awakens and convinces Zoe and Vera that he needs to get out of the hospital.
Zoe and Vera wait in their car until Elijah is inside his house.
Once they drive off, Elijah runs to the hospital.
He runs through the church and up the belfry staircase. Cut to:
Grayson follows Elijah up the staircase, takes pictures of the machinery there, texts them to headquarters, and is told it’s a sophisticated hologram projector probably able to work in sync with artificial intelligence found in one or many of the attached machines. The FBI expects a global syndicate has plans to use holograms for population control.
Elijah tells the officers about Melantha loading her plane with canisters.
Grayson’s men unload eight canisters from Melantha’s plane, sniff one, and nod.
Elijah tells Lucy to keep following for what might be the scoop of the century.
Sonny tells them his sister went to church to pray. He’s so happy Elijah is well.
Grayson, his men, and Elijah find Melantha in the belfry. Cool and unperturbed, she tells her history, how she studied the art of holograms and artificial intelligence, how she learned to combine both. She has set a timer for the surprise to happen in the sky above the mausoleum in exactly three hours.
Climax:
Kevin orders firetrucks to announce through all neighborhoodsthat everyone should watch the sky over the mausoleum at that exact hour.
People are abuzz, and Melantha is ecstatic.
Melantha ascends to her airplane and finds Janeen and Grayson waiting for her. Janeen arrests her, and she turns ugly and collapses.
At the exact hour a hologram of Sonny, looking exactly like Jesus, appears high in the sky and walks downward to earth. His lips repeatedly seem to say, “Meet me at the church.”
Elijah speaks to the hundreds outside the church and on the road leading to it. Then he leads them in singing a hymn.
A year later:
Zayden gloats and Vera looks relieved at the construction in progress, Kevin and Janeen play with their infant baby, Melantha—in a mental institution—looks down her nose at patients praying in the chapel. Elijah stops suddenly as he walks with Zoe and Buzz on a college campus. His gift is back, and he excuses himself to call Grayson. Wearing his Jesus attire, Sonny signs autographs to an adoring crowd. Lucy Addams, now a TV reporter, reports the astounding improvements in Bellamounta—all because the new theme park featuring a hologram of Jesus, which looks very impressive on the TV screen.

#

[Caroline Fritz]

Caroline’s Trust Relationships

What I learned: It was helpful to spell everything out.

1. Hero: Callahan

Villain: Gabrielle

Red Herring Character: Aaron

Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Gabrielle

Isn’t trusted, but should be: CIA director, Aaron

2. Callahan
Trustable
He is trustable but appears not trustable because he is secretive about his work.
If he needs to lie to protect people then he could seem not trustable.

Gabrielle
Trustable
She appears trustable but she isn’t.

Luring her best friend’s husband to his death makes her not trustable

Aaron

Not trustable
He appears not trustable but is really trustable
Being in on his wife’s plan would make him really not trustable

Callahan/Gabrielle
Trust: Callahan trusts her with the memory of his wife
Trust: Callahan leaps into action when she is kidnapped.

Distrust: Gabrielle lures Callahan to his death.

Callahan/Aaron
Distrust: Aaron refuses to call the police.
Distrust: Aaron has a safe full of cash.

Hero/Trusted, but shouldn’t be
Gabrielle plotting her own kidnapping to kill Callahan

Aaron really couldn’t have done anything to make Callahan trust him

Opening: Callahan is at a diplomat’s party. He tackles a terrorist. His cover is blown!

Direction: Callahan is standing at a party as a diplomat.

Twist: Callahan takes down a terrorist!

Life Threatening #1: Callahan gets into a fight with a terrorist!

Mystery #1: Who is Callahan?
Callahan is trustable but appears not trustable because he is secretive about his work.
If he needs to lie to protect people then he could seem not trustable.

Inciting Incident: Callahan is forced on vacation, so he visits his late wife’s friends in the states.

Direction: Aaron asks Callahan to go to the store, but Gabrielle goes instead.

Gabrielle appears trustable but she isn’t because she planned her own kidnapping to lure her best friend’s husband to his death.

Twist: She is kidnapped!

Life Threatening #2: Gabrielle is kidnapped!

Mystery #2: Who took Gabrielle?

Mystery #3: Why is Aaron not over upset by Gabrielle’s kidnapping?

Life Threatening #3: Aaron refuses to get the police involved and insists they drop the money off themselves, putting them and Gabrielle in danger.

Mystery #4: Why does he refuse to call the police?
Mystery #5: Where is all of the money in his safe come from?

Direction: As a CIA agent, Aaron has a lot of contacts who can help get his wife back.

Twist: He refuses to call the police.

Turning Point 1: Aaron disappears at the ransom drop.

Life Threatening #4: At the ransom drop, Aaron disappears, thugs show up with weapons drawn, and the police have been alerted. Callahan has to run away; he ubers back to Aaron’s house.

Mystery #6: What happened to Aaron?

Direction: Aaron and Callahan go to the ransom drop to get a lead on Gabrielle.

Twist: Aaron disappears!

Aaron appears not trustable because of his refusal to call the police and his cryptic behavior.

Threatening #5: At Aaron’s house, Callahan gathers his suitcase and leaves in his rental car; unwilling to be interrogated by the police because he isn’t sure what is going on.

Threatening #6: He hides out in a hotel using one of his undercover identities and talks to his team back in the UK. They have bad news: the man behind the kidnapping is the arms dealer who is suspected of killing Callahan’s wife three years ago.

Threatening #7: Callahan’s boss reaches out and tells him the CIA knows he is in the country and are insisting he go in for an official interview at CIA headquarters. It’s a set up!

Midpoint: The CIA demands Callahan stop investigating the case.

Life Threatening #8: The CIA escorts Callahan to the airport, in effect deporting him from the country.

Life Threatening #9: Who is going to save his friends?

Mystery #7: Why doesn’t the CIA listen to Callahan?

Direction: Callahan leaves the U.S.

Twist: Callahan instead flies to Mexico, where his colleague, Ariana, is waiting for him and where the bad guy lives.

Turning Point 2: Callahan and Ariana travel to the lair.

Mystery #8: Who is following them? The bad guys? The CIA?

Life Threatening #10: Callahan and Ariana are almost killed in an ambush!

Direction: Callahan has found Gabrielle unhurt!

Twist: Gabrielle is in cahoots with the villain! She is the villain!

Climax: Gabrielle is in cahoots with the villain!

Life Threatening #11: There is a shoot out at the lair when Callahan tries to rescue his friends.

Direction: Aaron is in cahoots with this wife

Twist: Gabrielle kills Aaron.

Mystery #9: Why does Gabrielle want to kill Callahan?

Resolution: The arms dealer gets away.

Mystery #10: Where did the arms dealer go?

Direction: The CIA is closing in; the arms dealer can’t get away.

Twist: The arms dealer gets away.

[John Duvall]

John Duvall’s Trust Relationships

What I learned doing this assignment: The ebb and flow of trust and distrust between the major characters drives the rise and fall of mystery, intrigue and suspense.

1. Make a list of the main characters.

Hero: Father
Martin Bloom
Villain: Father Hargraves
Red Herring Characters: Sister
Teresa, Monsignor Dennehy
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Father Hargraves (and Sister
Teresa, in a way)
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Sister Teresa

2. With each character, ask these questions:

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?

Father Martin Bloom (Hero) – trustable (except to
himself)
Father Hargraves (Villain) – not trustable
Sister Teresa – both trustable and not trustable,
because of dual personality
Monsignor Dennehy – trustable, but has secrets

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?

Father Martin Bloom (Hero) – trustable throughout,
except perhaps to himself
Father Hargraves – Appears trustable on taking
Monsignor Dennehy’s role, becomes untrustable the more Father Bloom
discovers
Sister Teresa – Appears initially very trustable;
appears to become untrustable as her contradictory behavior emerges; in
the end, reveals herself to be trustable
Monsignor Dennehy – Appears trustable, but events after
his death raise questions about his trustworthiness.

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?

Father Martin Bloom – trustworthy except in doubting
his own judgments
Father Hargraves – puts up obstacles to the
investigation he claims to be promoting
Sister Teresa – appears completely trustworthy until
her behavior reveals inner contradictions; then appears totally
untrustworthy until the climax
Monsignor Dennehy – Appears totally trustworthy until
his secrets begin to emerge after his death

3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.

Hero/Villain: Father Bloom trusts Father Hargraves as
an ally until he becomes concerned about his lack of support for Bloom’s
theories of Monsignor Dennehy’s death
Hero / Red Herring Character: Father Bloom not only
trusts Sister Teresa but actually falls in love with her. But he becomes
suspicious when her behavior becomes increasingly contradictory, and she
resists his questions.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Father Bloom trusts
Father Hargraves as an ally, until he develops doubts that lead him to
uncover secrets that Hargraves has evil intentions.
Hero / Is trusted, then isn’t trusted, but should be:
Father Bloom loses his trust for Sister Teresa, without recognizing her
deep psychological problems; in the end she regains his trust by saving
him from Father Hargraves.

4. Create a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship and then add that to your map.

Bloom / Dennehy

1. TRUST: Bloom trusts Dennehy as his mentor in the priesthood. He also supports his investigation of church finances and his introduction to Sister Teresa

2. DISTRUST: Father Hargraves suggest that Dennehy may have had access to the very church funds that seem to be missing.

3. TRUST: When Dennehy dies mysteriously, Bloom assumes his innocence in any wrongdoing.

4. DISTRUST: Bloom discovers Dennehy’s hidden intimate relationship with Sister Teresa.

5. TRUST: Bloom discovers Dennehy’s relationship with Teresa was innocent; he was acting essentially as Teresa’s surrogate father.

Bloom / Teresa

1. TRUST: Bloom develops a close working relationship with Sister Teresa at the new shelter.

2. TRUST: Bloom and Teresa falls in love and become lovers.

3. DISTRUST: Teresa denies their sexual involvement after Monsignor Dennehy dies.

4. TRUST: Teresa persuades Bloom that she lied to prevent a public scandal that would confuse the investigation into Dennehy’s death.

5. DISTRUST: When confronted by Bloom about the missing funds, Teresa denies everything and walks out angrily.

6. DISTRUST: Bloom suspects Teresa has a secret life when he sees her wandering the beach at night dressed in sexy clothes. He sees her apparently pick up a man on the beach and walking off with him.

7. DISTRUST: Bloom sees Teresa privately conferring with Hargraves, who Bloom already suspects of corruption and murder.

8. TRUST: Teresa saves Bloom from being killed by Hargraves, thus validating her love for him.

9. TRUST: When Bloom learns of Teresa’s diagnosis as a multiple personality, he commits to his love for her as an ally in her therapy and healing.

Bloom / Hargraves

1. TRUST: Bloom sees Hargraves as Dennehy’s ally and associate.

2. TRUST: Bloom’s relationship with Hargraves becomes closer after Dennehy dies.

3. DISTRUST: Hargraves seems to discourage Bloom’s questions about Dennehy’s death, as well as probing his relationship to Teresa.

4. TRUST: Teresa’s erratic behavior seems to support Hargraves’ concerns about her.

5. DISTRUST: Bloom’s discovery of Dennehy’s diary implicates Hargraves in wrongdoing.

6. DISTRUST: Hargraves’ apparent intimacy with Teresa sets off major red flags for Bloom,

7. DISTRUST: At the climax, Hargraves tries to kill Bloom.

5. Give us the new version of your Thriller Map.

John Duvall’s Thriller Plot (with Twists and Trust Issues)

1. Father Bloom marries a young couple, envies them.

2. Monsignor Dennehy has requested Bloom’s transfer to his church. His bishop notifies him of the transfer. Twist: New options emerge.

3. Bloom visits his former girlfriend’s grave to say goodbye.

4. Bloom arrives at his new church. He wanders through the complex, confusing maze of hallways and stairways, looking for Dennehy’s office.

Finally Bloom meets with Dennehy to learn new duties to look into questions about church funding. Bloom trusts Dennehy, his mentor in the priesthood, who supports his investigation of church finances. He also meets Fathers Hargraves and Babenco, who show Bloom the financial records. Bloom trusts Hargraves as Dennehy’s ally and associate. Dennehy keeps a diary in his desk drawer. Twist: A new problem emerges.

5. Dennehy facilitates Bloom’s introduction to Sister Teresa, requesting

Bloom to help her help open the new riverfront shelter. There have been mysterious deaths and prostitution on the riverfront. Twist: It just got more dangerous.

6. Bloom watches a news report interviewing Sister Teresa about the new shelter. She seems compassionate and devoted to her service.

7. Bloom helps Sister Teresa prep for opening of the new shelter. Bloom develops a close working relationship with Sister Teresa at the new shelter. He drives her home and they feel an attraction to each other. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone.

8. Hargraves questions Bloom about his duties and encourages him to report to him on his investigation. Hargraves suggests that Dennehy may have had access to the very church funds that seem to be missing. Twist: A new problem occurs.

9. Bloom and Sister Teresa share their feelings of affection, but affirm their vows to the church. Will they be able to keep them? Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone.

10. In the confessional, Bloom confesses his desire for Teresa. But who was the Father Confessor? Twist: A trust is potentially violated.

11. Bloom and Teresa give in to their desire and make love. Teresa is surprisingly erotic and vocal. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone. It just got more dangerous.

12. Bloom prays for guidance in the church and Teresa appears. He confesses his anxiety about their transgression but she is curiously unreactive.

13. On leaving the church, they stumble upon the body of Monsignor Dennehy below the church tower. He has apparently died from a fall. Bloom suspects foul play. Twist: The worst possible thing happens.

14. Ambulances and police arrive to ask questions about Dennehy’s death. No one suspects foul play.

15. A police search of Dennehy’s office reveals that his diary and other records are missing. Bloom’s suspicions increase. Twist: New consequences emerge.

16. Bloom uncovers records left for him by Dennehy that reveal a discrepancy between money allocated to the shelter and money actually spent. Twist: A new problem occurs.

17. After Dennehy dies, an anonymous tip informs the police that Bloom and Teresa are lovers. The police interrogate them and Teresa denies their sexual involvement while Bloom remains silent. Teresa persuades Bloom that she lied to prevent a public scandal that would confuse the investigation into Dennehy’s death. Twist: A mistake returns to haunt them.

18. Bloom reports the discrepancy in the shelter funding to Hargraves. Hargraves announces he’ll take control of the investigation, seems to discourage Bloom’s questions about Dennehy’s death, as well as casting suspicion on Teresa’s relationship with Dennehy. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone.

19. Bloom asks Teresa if she knows anything about the missing funds. She not only denies knowledge of them, but denies that she and Bloom have been lovers. When confronted by Bloom, Teresa denies everything and walks out. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone. A lie is uncovered.

20. Bloom begins stalking Teresa at the shelter, suspecting her of having a secret life. He sees her wandering the beach at night dressed in sexy clothes, where she apparently picks up a man and walks off with him. Teresa’s erratic behavior seems to support Hargraves’ concerns about her. Twist: Secret identity uncovered.

21. Police finds a large sum of money hidden in Bloom’s apartment. Police now consider him a suspect. Twist: A new problem occurs; It just got more dangerous.

22. Bloom goes to the police and shares his suspicion about Teresa and makes the case that someone is trying to frame him. He defends himself against their suspicion of him. The police are skeptical but promise to investigate.

23. The next day, Bloom confronts Teresa with what he saw, but she adamantly denies she was the person he saw or that she knows anything about the money in his apartment. He persists, asking her about the funds; she becomes angry and departs. Twist: A lie is uncovered.

24. Bloom observes Hargraves and Teresa having an intimate conversation in private. He doesn’t know what to make of it, but he’s suspicious.

25. Bloom learns there has been another mysterious death down near the shelter – identified as Father Babenco, who kept financial records for the church. The police suspect that these murdered men have been victims of a riverfront prostitute. Twist: It just got more dangerous.

26. In the confessional again, Bloom expresses his fear and guilt about his relationship with Teresa. The confessor tells him to seek the truth, no matter how difficult it may be to accept. Bloom leaves the confessional suspicious of the advice he’s been given, and who has given it. Twist: A trust is violated.

27. Bloom, in street clothes, wanders the waterfront at night. He encounters a woman in sexy clothes who approaches him. When he recognizes her as Teresa, and she recognizes him, she runs away and disappears into a wood. Twist: Secret identity uncovered.

28. After Teresa (in normal daytime dress) leaves the shelter, Bloom goes in and searches around. In a hidden closet, he finds her sexy outfit and Dennehy’s diary. Teresa shows up and catches him in the act. But instead of being angry, she is very pleasant and shows no animosity towards him. He asks her about what he’s found and she denies any knowledge of the clothes or the diary. She seems to have no curiosity about them at all. Bloom asks to keep the diary and she gives no objection. Twist: A lie is uncovered and a trust is violated.

29. Alone in his apartment, Bloom reads Dennehy’s diary. It reveals Teresa’s troubled youth and how he helped her, acting as a surrogate father after her parents died. It also reveals Dennehy’s suspicions that Hargraves was involved in embezzling church funds. Twist: We see an unexpected side of someone (Both Dennehy and Teresa).

30. Looking out the window, Bloom sees Hargarves walking with Teresa. He calls the police and tells them he’ll bring them Dennehy’s diary. Then he follows Hargraves and Teresa into the church.

31. Bloom wanders again through the complex maze of hallways following the sound of their footsteps and voices. He follows them up the stairs into the church tower – above where Dennehy’s body was found. Twist: It just got more dangerous.

32. At the top of the tower, Bloom finds Hargarves and Teresa locked in a passionate embrace. Both recoil in shock when Bloom emerges from the shadows. Bloom confronts Hargraves that he found Denehhy’s diary and gave it to the police (not yet true). Hargarves becomes enraged and attacks Bloom. Teresa retreats in total confusion as the two men struggle, unsure where her allegiance lies. When Hargarves is on the verge of pushing Bloom from the tower, Teresa rushes in and pushes Hargraves out and down to his death. She embraces Bloom, who although totally confused, embraces her back. Twist: The worst thing possible happens. We see an unexpected side of someone.

33. The chief of police closes Dennehy’s diary after reading through it. He concludes Hargraves was guilty of embezzling church funds, and that Teresa had acted in Bloom’s defense. However, after a psychiatric interview, she is diagnosed as a multiple personality. She is waiting in an adjoining room.

34. Bloom enters Teresa’s room and sits with her. She speaks in her prostitute voice and says she always expected to wind up in jail. Bloom asks who he is talking to and she replies “Susie Q”. Bloom asks if he may talk to Teresa. She transforms from an abrasive hussy into the friendly, gentle nun Bloom first met. She wonders what she is doing in a police station. Bloom assures her that she won’t have to stay there long, and that he will be beside her, whatever the future holds. Twist: Secret Identity Uncovered.

[Maggie Tsavaris]

Maggie Tsavaris’s Trust Relationships (Assignment 10)

What I learned is: Gotta keep the audience wondering, “can the hero really trust this person?”

Trust/Distrust relationships between characters woven into the thriller map:

OPENING (p. 1): Leyla is at a café hidden away on a backstreet in Erbil, Iraq. She is drinking tea and talking with an Iraqi man, Amir. TWIST: A bomb goes off inside the café. TRUST: A Lebanese man, Haasim, rescues Leyla. DISTRUST: How convenient that a knight in shining armor happens to be there to rescue her. Leyla sees Amir escape uninjured. Leyla and Haasim exchange numbers.

♦ Back at the base, Leyla is translating a document from Arabic into English at a computer in the linguists’ office when Haasim texts her (on Signal) to see how she’s doing. They text back and forth.

♦ Lead Linguist, AJ, comes in with a document. Leyla quickly slips her phone into a desk drawer. AJ hands the page to Vivienne (“Viv”– Leyla’s friend and fellow linguist) and tells her “Need your speed on this one.”

♦ Leyla and Vivienne are at lunch in the DFAC on base. Vivienne flirts with several guys who pass by. Haasim texts to ask Leyla to join him for dinner in town. Vivienne sees Leyla’s sudden smile and asks her if she’s making up with her daughter. Leyla tells her no. Vivienne asks what’s up. Leyla plays coy, gives Vivienne sparse details about Haasim.

♦ Leyla texts Haasim how difficult it is to get permission to leave the base for non-work-related reasons.

♦ TRUST: Her friend, Vivienne tells Leyla how good it would be for her to start dating, have a little fun, find “your person” amid the chaos, good for the soul. DISTRUST: Viv obviously practices what she preaches, but will this get Leyla into trouble—after all, she just met this Lebanese guy (who she knows nothing about) during an explosion at a café while talking with perhaps a local informant.

INCITING INCIDENT (p. 11): TWIST: Haasim is persistent and flirty, so Leyla decides to go to her onsite manager for permission.

♦ She gets a plate of cookies from the DFAC (dining facility).

♦ Leyla takes the cookies to her onsite manager, Kain, who is drinking from a thermos of coffee and whiskey and cleaning his favorite firearm. Jinx, his dog, is asleep under a desk covered in disorganized paperwork. Leyla sets the plate down on the desk.

♦ TWIST: Kain’s gun goes off, fortunately it’s aimed at the ceiling.

♦ DISTRUST: Kain curses, takes another drink, notices the cookies, and samples one.

♦ He hasn’t really noticed Leyla, but she asks him for permission to leave the base. He tells her she can go, but for only two hours after shift.

♦ At a restaurant off-base for dinner, with Haasim’s bodyguards keeping watch from across the room. Leyla and Haasim are enjoying dessert. TWIST/TRUST: Haasim tells Leyla how beautiful she is and he’s never met anyone like her. DISTRUST: Leyla is both flattered and unsure of whether he just wants to sleep with her.

♦ Next, in another TWIST: Haasim asks Leyla to get him the names and contact info for certain U.S. human assets/informants. TRUST OR DISTRUST: He tells her he wants to hire these skilled people and pay them 3 or 4 times what they’re probably trying to survive on now. He tells her that she must keep this entire dinner conversation top secret.

♦ On return to the base, Vivienne asks Leyla how dinner was, and Leyla confides in Vivienne only the part about Haasim complimenting her. Vivienne tells Leyla that Haasim is only speaking the truth.

♦ TWIST: a vehicle suddenly lurches out of the darkness and swerves at them. Vivienne and Leyla have to leap out of the way. DISTRUST: They catch a glimpse of their boss, Kain, at the wheel, and his dog riding shotgun.

♦ Later, Leyla FaceTimes her daughter. The conversation is strained as always.

TURNING POINT 1/BREAK INTO 2 (p. 25): Leyla asks Lead Linguist, AJ, to transfer her to the quieter graveyard shift. TRUST/DISTRUST: When Vivienne asks her why she wants the graveyard shift that everyone hates, Leyla says she needs a quiet office with fewer distractions so she can get more translation work accomplished.

♦ Leyla translates a classified document and communicates with an asset named “Rick.”

♦ Leyla starts baking treats for the team leader and lead linguist and hanging around the office, even when her shift is over and returning before the next shift begins.

♦ Leyla accesses highly classified details about an asset known as “Jimmy” and writes it on a paper she pockets. After shift, she texts the details to Haasim, then slips the note under her mattress.

♦ DISTRUST: Vivienne begins to suspect that Leyla is up to something.

♦ TRUST: Vivienne cannot get in touch with one of their local assets, Amir (with whom Leyla was talking when the café was hit), and asks Leyla whether she has been in touch with him, but Leyla has not.

♦ At shift change, Vivienne sees a message come through on Leyla’s phone. DISTRUST: Vivienne sees that it’s from Haasim and he’s asking for Amir’s location.

♦ TWIST: Base is hit by a drone.

♦ Afterwards, Vivienne talks to Leyla about the text message from Haasim, but Leyla assures her that Haasim is doing this for a good purpose.

♦ DISTRUST: Vivienne goes to talk to Kain about her concerns.

MIDPOINT (p. 55): TRUST: Kain assigns Leyla and Vivienne to a mission off-base to take down insurgents. DISTRUST: Vivienne expresses a smidge of concern to Leyla about the skills of the local interpreter Kain sent with them.

♦ Vivienne is killed by mortar fire right in front of Leyla.

♦ DISTRUST: Leyla has a heated exchange with Kain. She blames him for his choice of a local interpreter who mistranslated radio chatter that probably got Vivienne killed.

♦ TWIST: Kain is furious with her and threatens to reassign her to Afghanistan.

♦ Leyla must persuade Kain not to send her to Afghanistan. She does not want to lose Haasim.

♦ Kain tells her he needs someone to procure women and alcohol for a party, and Leyla tells him she’ll take care of it.

♦ Leyla recruits AJ who has connections in town, to help her. AJ wants to be in good stead with Kain because he likes going off base as often as possible, so he’s pleased to help Leyla with this project.

♦ TWIST: As AJ drives them from his cousin’s liquor store to a nightclub where prostitutes hang out, he suspects they’re being followed, so makes some crazy maneuvers and loses the tail.

♦ Inside the nightclub, Leyla thinks she recognizes one of Haasim’s bodyguards from the restaurant lurking in the shadows. If Haasim finds out that she’s hiring prostitutes, he might call off their marriage, which Leyla couldn’t bear.

♦ She goes to talk to him, but he has disappeared. She runs into the parking lot and sees him jump into a car and drive off.

TURNING POINT 2/BREAK INTO 3 (p. 85): On the way back to the base, they stop at a market so Leyla can bake for Kain and AJ and some of the others.

♦ TWIST: An Iraqi woman comes up to Leyla and asks her if she knows anything about her husband, Amir, whom she hasn’t seen in two days. Leyla hasn’t seen him since the café incident, but was sure he’d gotten away unscathed.

[Christopher Lynch]

Macondo Trust/Distrust

What I Learned from this: This has helped me clarify character motivations in MIS plot sequencing.

Chuck/Max (Hero/Villain)

· Trust: Chuck thinks that Max is a tough boss but Chuck does not doubt his basic honesty. Chuck follows Max’ diversionary tactics.

· Distrust: Chuck realizes that Max is spying on him.

· Distrust: Chuck gets tip on visa selling. This is confirmed by Carmen.

Chuck/Carmen (Hero/Red Herring)

· Trust: Chuck gives Carmen benefit of the doubt since she is Pancho’s husband and part of the arms supply operation

· Distrust: Chuck hears increasing rumors that Carmen is expanding her drug smuggling operations. Several of the guns show up are seized by the government.

· Trust: Carmen confirms that Max is selling visas.

· Distrust: Chuck deduces that Carmen is going to divert the last arms shipment.

Chuck /Security Officer (Trusted but Shouldn’t Be)

· Trust: Chuck follows procedures and brings names/accusations to Security Officer. The investigation is supposed to be private.

· Distrust: The security officer identifies with Max as part of the ‘good old boys’ and gives Max all of the details of the investigation.

Chuck/Mike (Not trusted but should be)

· Distrust: Mike is an acquaintance from college who is now a CIA officer. Mike has caused problems for Chuck in the past and Chuck is very wary of him.

· Trust: Mike is made part of the arms supply operation. Chuck works well with him.

· Distrust: Mike withholds information from Chuck. Chuck thinks that Mike is trying to take over the operation.

· Trust: For the final shipment, Mike comes through with logistical support and ends up saving Chuck’s life.

[Brendan Guerin]

ASSIGNMENT 10

Brendan’s Kangaroo Island psych thriller, with Trust / Distrust Elements.

What i learnt was that a focus on Trust-Distrust relationships while editing scenes and creating new scenes adds to the suspense and tension. It also helps to make the characters more complex when you test out their trustworthiness in new situations. Trust often seems to be tied up with Mystery, Intrigue & Suspense.

1. Make a list of the main characters.

Hero: Nat

Villain: Wayne

Red Herring Character:

Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Farmer neighbour, Bill

Isn’t trusted, but should be: Beryl Local police

2. With each character, ask these questions:

Hero Nat

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? Trustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? Nat’s cool confidence is not something Wayne expects, which makes him suspicious and distrustful of Nat

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? Nat trusts Wayne at first but as she learns more about Wayne, she becomes increasingly distrustful.

Villain Wayne

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? Not trustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? Wayne appears trustable, coming from a respected family sheep dynasty, he’s just going through tough times. The migrant worker program is sanctioned by Canberra so Nat has no reason to distrust Wayne and every right to expect a safe stay

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? With the stress of losing shearers in the middle of shearing, Wayne slowly loses control, making him more menacing and untrustable.

When Wayne realises Nat knows what he’s done, he can no longer trust that Nat will stick around

Dan

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? Trustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? Dan is aloof and dismissive of Nat’s initial concerns about Wayne, laughing off her fertile imagination. When she probes, he admits he doesn’t think much about Wayne, so long as he pays us properly

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? Dan jokingly tells Wayne that Nat calls him the Palomino behind his back

Bill

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? Trustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? When Bill offers to take Nat to town but returns her to Wayne instead, she loses trust in him

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? When Bill hears that the shearers walked out on Wayne, he fears Wayne may crack and become dangerous, goes to check on Nat

Police mate Bluey

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? Trustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? Being a mate of Wayne’s, makes him appear untrustworthy

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? If he finds evidence that Wayne has broken the law, he is willing lay charges on Wayne

Beryl

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? Trustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? Beryl appears untrustable because she won’t tell Nat what her concerns are about Wayne

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? If Beryl could talk with Nat, without Wayne knowing, she could tell her the truth about Wayne’s past

4. Create a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship (like I did with Three Days of The Condor) and then add that to your map.

TRUST Wayne promises to take Nat to town to buy a sim card. DISTRUST Wayne keeps making good excuses.

TRUST Wayne throws hay to sheep from farm ute, driven slowly by Nat. Wayne yells stop, jumps down and cradles the dog Max as if injured.

DISTRUST Wayne laughs out loud at look of horror on Nat, who thought she’d driven over Max

TRUST Wayne drives Nat to Bill’s 60th birthparty next door. Big night of drinking and arguing with Wayne, who insists he’s OK to drive home, tells Nat to get in, time to go.

DISTRUST Nat heads off on foot for long walk back, cross country.

TRUST Nat baths in hot tub, trusting her privacy will be respected.

DISTRUST Wayne breaks that trust when he assumes to join her.

NEW THRILLER MAP

OPENING:

Adventurous US traveller, Nat, touches down on wild Kangaroo Island, meets her new boss, Aussie larrikin charmer, Wayne Hacken.

Villain’s plan 1: Wayne is charming as they chat on the long drive to his remote sheep station. Nat meets Dan and other migrant workers Lucy, Bella and Dan..

Mystery 1: Nat discovers no mobile service, no wifi, no communication with the outside world. TWIST The other workers are too poor to own phones? TRUST Wayne promises to take Nat to town to buy a sim card. DISTRUST Wayne keeps making good excuses.

Villains plan 2: Nat lies alone in her bedroom exhausted, almost asleep. She hears footsteps that stop outside her door, hears a soft voice ask ‘Can you hear me?’ then silence. She freezes. Later, she hears soft whispering through the thin wall. Can…… You…… Hear ……Me?

Mystery 2: What the hell is he doing? trying to freak her out?

Villains plan 3: Wayne drives Nat and Dan on a rough dirt road to neighbours property to help with lamb marking (tail docking & castration). Nat discovers the neighbours are a lovely family who sing Wayne’s praises.

Villains plan 4: It’s hot driving home, Wayne stops at the local pub, invites Nat and Dan in for a cold beer.. Still wearing blood stained overalls, Nat reluctantly agrees. Inside, a group of Wayne’s mates shout and jeer, joking about his new girlfriend. TWIST: Dan responds with a put-down of Wayne for setting Nat up, embarrassing and infuriating Wayne.

Mystery 3: Nat meets Beryl at the pub, who seems to want to warn Nat about Wayne but is reluctant to speak with Wayne glancing her way occasionally. Wayne calls time to go.

INCITING INCIDENT:

With shearing about to start, Wayne asks workers to sign employment contracts.

Mystery 4: Nat and fellow workers agree Wayne can be annoying and temperamental but is he dangerous?

Nat is on her dream working holiday of a lifetime down under and no one is going to stop her. Eager to start work, she signs the contract. Why is she so confident / blase?

TRUST Wayne throws hay to sheep from farm ute, driven slowly by Nat. Wayne yells stop, jumps down and cradles the dog Max as if injured.

DISTRUST Wayne laughs out loud at look of horror on Nat, who thought she’d driven over Max

Mystery 5: The Shearers union rep arrives on the station unannounced, Wayne and Bob argue about minimum wages. Bob warns he may boycott the station if Wayne doesn’t agree to his demands. Wayne orders Bob off the property.

Villains plan 5: A rainy day, too wet to work. Wayne invites Nat with him on an ocean fishing trip. Wayne gives the outboard full throttle, hits some big swell and almost tips the boat over. He gets seasick, heaves overboard, lies on deck useless.

Life Threatening 1: As the sea gets rougher, Nat demands they bail. He refuses, goes ballistic at her for not being seasick. He insists they keep fishing while they’re biting. TWIST Wayne falls off boat trying to land a tuna with boat keys in his pocket. Nat knows she has to save him.

Life Threatening 2: Later, sharks circle the boat. Wayne panics, tries to throw some burley overboard. Nat stops him. They argue. Nat takes control, knocks him out from behind, takes the wheel, powers back to shore. When Wayne comes to, he’s confused.

TRUST Wayne drives Nat to Bill’s 60th birthday party next door. Big night of drinking and arguing with Wayne, who insists he’s OK to drive home, tells Nat to get in, time to go.

DISTRUST Nat heads off on foot for long walk back to homestead, cross country.

Mystery 7: Nat discovers Lucy and Bella haven’t shown up for breakfast. Wayne claims they left in the night in a Taxi.

Mystery 6: It’s pay day.. Lead shearer Vinnie is not happy, he confronts Wayne, accusing him of underpaying the shearers. They argue, Vinnie walks out in disgust, leaving Wayne with 3 junior shearers to finish the job.

TWIST All the shearers walk out in protest with Vinnie. Furious Wayne decides to shear the remaining sheep himself, and now desperately needs Nat and Dan to stay to run the shed.

Villain’s plan 6: Determined not to let them leave, he offers a pay rise.

TURNING POINT 1:

Villains plan 7: Nat baths in homemade Hot Tub after a hard day’s work in the shearing shed. Wayne presumes to join her? She bales, Wayne feels jilted.

Villains plan 6: Nat awakes one morning to discover friendly Dan has packed up his bags and left without a word. TWIST Dan leaves on foot, but not before leaving a good bye note to Nat who doesnt find it til days later.

Life Threatening 3: She confronts Wayne, who is evasive. She persists. He says mind your own business. Nat is defiant.

Mystery 9: At the pub, Nat meets German girls who have heard about Nat and are desperate to warn her about Wayne. They tell how they fled his employ months earlier, after being forced to undress and wash cars for Wayne and sleazy mates. How the police arrive and catch them red handed. How they let them off with a warning.

Mystery 10: Nat meets Beryl at pub, for a second time, who finally tells Nat “you’ll be alright dear, but whatever you do … just don’t upset him”.

Villain’s plan 8: Wayne watches Nat and Beryl, he demands Nat leave with him now.

Life Threatening 3: Convinced she must go back for her passport, and that no one including the publican would help anyway, she gets in his car determinedly. Nat fears a confrontation. Wayne drives home in silence, faster and more reckless than ever.

Nat demands Wayne tell her what happened with the German girls. Is it true? Wayne is defensive.

Nat fears car crash.

MIDPOINT:

Mystery 11: Nat discovers a Union reps badge lying in a junk box in the wool shed. She recognises it from a recent visitor to the station to confront Wayne. Surely proof he is dangerous?

TRUST/DISTRUST When Wayne realises Nat has found evidence of foul-play, he can no longer trust that Nat will stick around

Life Threatening 3: Nat walks the property boundary, in the early morning, looking for a bus stop, an escape route of any kind.

She walks beside a quiet road. A few utes drive past, all men, some with dogs. A car and they guy gets out. waves her over.

It’s the farmer from next door, Bill, she walks up to him and shares her concerns about Wayne, asks him if he can take her to town to get a few things. Of course. She gets in but is taken back to Wayne’s station.

Life Threatening 4: Nat wakes at 2am to the sound of vehicles honking, spotlights flashing. Wayne’s gang of mates gather on the verandah outside Nat’s window, drinking and heckling her to come out and entertain them. Nat fears the worst. Wayne sits apart, wallowing in his power over Nat, over his mates, only calling them off when Nat passes out. She wakes. All is silent. Checks her clothing. All intact.

TURNING POINT 2:

Villains Plan 9 : Nat discovers friend Dan at the bottom of a dry well.

Mystery 12: Dan’s not responding to her yells and lies motionless. Is he unconscious or dead? She hears a faint groan, returns to homestead, finds Wayne passed out on whisky in front of the television.

Mystery 13: Nat sneaks out back door with water, food and medicine to Dan, now weak, starving and trembling cold. How will she get supplies to Dan? Can she get him out?

Life Threatening 5: Wayne wakes at midnight, suspects Nat is up to something. He goes to her room but she’s gone. He jumps in the ute and drives around the station searching with spotlight.

Mystery 14: When Wayne returns, Nat is asleep in her room. Why would she return to the house? Does she have a hidden weapon she plans to use? TWIST: is it Nat or pillows arranged to look like her sleeping? Nat gains more time to help Dan.

Life Threatening 6: Wayne leaves house early for town to buy supplies, Nat breaks into Wayne’s farm office, discovers piles of unpaid bills. She tries to hack wifi but can’t find the password. Finally discovers it written faintly under modem.

She connects, her phone goes ballistic with incoming messages. She tears up with relief. She gets a text message to her friend Charlotte in Sydney, begs her to call the KI police HQ. She does..

Life Threatening 7: Wayne returns to the house that night, pissed off. Nat stays calm, offers to cook Wayne’s favourite meal, sees her phone sticking out of her pocket and demands why she’s carrying it around? Just been taking pics of the dogs, here wanna see?

Villain’s plan 10: Villain gets call from local cop mate who says a woman in Sydney rang to say a worker is being held there against her will. What do I tell em mate?

Villain’s plan 11: Wayne tells cop he will deal with her. TWIST Wayne agrees to bring Nat to police station tomorrow, if thats what she wants..

Furious Wayne hangs up, confronts Nat, yeah i will take a look at those pictures.

Too late, I deleted them.

CLIMAX:

Life Threatening 8: Nat and Wayne are locked in a tense cat and mouse chase through the woodland near the homestead at night.

Exhausted and becoming paranoid, Wayne fumbles and steps into a cluster of his pig traps, set by Nat. The excitement of a trapped human sets the dogs barking. They snap and bite at Wayne, like he was a wild pig. He struggles but cant free himself.

Life Threatening 9: Nat subdues Wayne with homemade pepper spray and whisky from the ute. Douses him and threatens to light him if he doesn’t lie still, face down. She quickly grabs rifle from ute.

TWIST. Wayne’s neighbour shows up, sensing Wayne may be losing control and becoming dangerous. Nat sees him and makes a run into the woods.

Mystery 15: Dan recovers, staggers through hills, stumbles onto main road to town. Will he find help?

Life Threatening 10: New police women pulls up, desperate Dan jumps in while car still moving and tells her Nat’s in trouble, Wayne’s gonna kill her. They head to the woodlands and search on foot.

Faint sound of dogs barking. TWIST: They arrive to find neighbour has sided with Nat, still holding Wayne at gunpoint.

Wayne is freed from traps and arrested.

RESOLUTION:

Nat sets up a dedicated service to support migrant workers, backpackers and international travellers working in remote locations of the world.