Lesson 10

[Jan Lloyd]

Jan’s Inciting Incident Scene
What I learned doing this Assignment: I learned more of the outline system for a screen script. A bit different from working on a novel outline.
ACT 1: KEY SCENE 2: Inciting Incident
INT. ICE CREAM SHOP – DAY
BEGINNING: Clay and Dolphyn meet a new boy at school and he introduces them to one of his father’s friends who works for the FBI. The supposed FBI agent wants the duo to hack into their FBI site so he can prove to his bosses that its not a safe sit.
MIDDLE: The duo decides to do it. Within a week they have hacked into a site.
END: Turns out the Duo had been duped by a very bad man who was not part of the FBI.
ACT 1: KEY SCENE 3: The Protagonist Reacts Emotionally
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
BEGINNING: The twins go to the courts.
MIDDLE: Dolphyn and Clay are assigned to a special university (URU) in NM to hone their skills for the good of humanity.
END: Their teacher Ms. Markem stands up for them, but the courts rule against the twins. Ms. Markem tells the twins she won’t be allowed to contact them at first. She tells the twins she has heard good things about the school and leaves them with some words of wisdom. The twins feel totally lost and drifting at sea. At least they have each other.

[Kenneth Johnson]

Kenneth Johnson – Inciting Incident

What I learned with this assignment – I found that I need to give the supporting characters a bit more of personal arc to give them more motivation and better dialogue.

OUTLINE – Inciting Incident

Beginning – Michael sits down with the studio executives. They are going to pass on the finished script. They also don’t see much of a pay off with the horror idea that he just pitched.

Middle – The head of the studio interrupts to talk with one of the executives. Greets Michael. Asks if he’s brought them something good. Agent gets Michael to pitch Lee’s story.

End – The studio head thinks it’s a good idea.

INT. MOVIE STUDIO – OFFICE – DAY

This is a well-appointed corner office with a sweeping view of West L.A. The studio development executives, KYLE and TUCKER, both have that expensive casual look that only guys in their late 20s seem to be able to make work. Michael and his agent, JERRY sit attentively listening.

KYLE
We liked the idea of your script, but we’re going to pass on it.

MICHAEL
Wait, what? You guys were loving this. What do you need changed?

JERRY
It’s a good project. We’re happy to re-write to make it fit.

TUCKER
Yes, it’s a good project. It’s going to find a home. Just not here.

MICHAEL
What about the horror idea?

KYLE
Yeah, that ones a concept with possibilities, but right now we don’t see that one paying off.

There is a gentle knock at the door and in walks WELDON JAMES, the head of the studio. Gray hair, fit and trim in a button down shirt and sport coat. They all start to stand.

WELDON
No, no, don’t get up. Just need to see Kyle for a second

Weldon hands Kyle a sheaf of papers.

WELDON
I like what you did with this. It’s approved. Just get all the signatures so legal is happy.

Weldon turns and moves to shake hands.

WELDON
Mike, Jerry. Good to see you again. Did you bring us something good?

Jerry reaches over and squeezes Michael’s arm.

JERRY
Do the thing. You know. The war thing.

Weldon leans in with interest.

WELDON
You have a concept for a war movie?

Michael pitches his father’s Korean War story.

WELDON
I like it.

Kyle and Tucker quickly agree.

Michael looks a bit shell shocked. Jerry is all smiles.

OUTLINE – Reaction to Inciting Incident

Beginning – Michael sits in front of his computer screen with a black page.

Middle – His wife comes in wanting to know how his meeting went and remind him of how tight their money is.

End – Michael decides he needs to get Lee to tell him more about what happened in Korea.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – STUDY – DAY

Michael sits down at his desk and wakes up his computer. He opens a document and stares at the flashing cursor on the large BLANK white page. He stares. His fingers are poised over the keys, unmoving.
His wife, Cheryl, walks in absently looking through the mail.

CHERYL
You know I think I like the emailed bills better. You don’t get the funny look from the mailman when he hands you the ones marked, “past due.”

Michael continues to stare at the blank screen.

CHERYL
Hello, are you in there.

Michael slumps a bit.

MICHAEL
Hello darling.

CHERYL
Well?

MICHAEL
Well, what?

CHERYL
What happened in your meeting with Kyle?

MICHAEL
I got a project.

Cheryl is genuinely surprised.

CHERYL
Oh my god! That is wonderful. Is the horror piece. You worked so hard on that. I knew you’d get some traction with it!

MICHAEL
No, they didn’t like “The Foolish Dead.” They thought it was… foolish. Weldon was there.

Cheryl doesn’t quite believe this.

CHERYL
The head of the studio was in your little pitch meeting?

MICHAEL
Yes, and he thinks it’s the right time for a war movie.

CHERYL
But you don’t have a war movie script. You don’t even have a war movie story.

MICHAEL
I have my dad’s story.

CHERYL
You don’t know his story. You’ve got that one moment of his service where everybody dies. What is that, like five minutes of a script?

Michael stares straight into the blank screen and types, FADE IN.

MICHAEL
Guess I’m gonna’ have to talk to my dad.