Lesson 10

[Monica Arisman]

SUBJECT: Monica’s Outline Exchange #1

I am ready to exchange my outline.

[Denise Bryant]

Hi Monica, I will submit mine after the class today. I am willing to exchange with you if you are interested—Denise

[Monica Arisman]

Hi Denise,

Sure I’ll exchange with you.

My email is marisman@shaw.ca. I have an action/thriller (working on the thriller elements).

Just send me an email. Thanks!

Monica.

[Denise Bryant]

Monica, would you like to exchange with me?

[Denise Bryant]

Denise’s Outline

I am ready to exchange my outline.

[Judith Watson]

SUBJECT: Judith’s Outline Exchange #1

Hi, Judith Watson here. Would love to exchange outlines with thriller writers. Please let me know if you are willing.

[Monica Arisman]

Hey Judith,

I’m going to exchange with Denise first. But after that, I can be your exchange #2?

My email is marisman@shaw.ca.

Thanks.

Monica.

[Judith Watson]

Hi Monica, I’d love to exchange number 2. Let me know when you are ready. I tried your email, but it wouldn’t go through. My email is cinemaself1@aol.com

[David Becker]

Jacqueline Escolme it would be fun to do this exercise with you, given your background, if you are ready. I am a couple of days behind myself! See my personal message on the introductions forum. My email is david@beckerkemp.com. Reach out if you have the time.

[Connie Barr]

Hi David,

Is your Genre, Rom-Coms?

Connie

[Jacqueline Escolme]

Hi David, sounds good, I’ll email you 🙂

[Connie Barr]

Connie’s (Constance) Outline Exchange #1

Title: Love Dance

Written By: Constance Barr

Email address: mcb.connie@gmail.com

Genre: Rom-Com

Concept: A dance-obsessed divorcee craves true love but after too
many “almosts” and “hell nos” has given up, until her polar opposite
cowboy with a bizarre occupation shows up as her new competitive dance
partner.

Number the scenes: 97 (Outline is 10 pages)

Hooray, I’m caught up and ready to exchange!

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• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Connie Barr.

[June f]

Hi Connie,

I have a dark dramedy but I usually write romance, so I’d love to exchange with you. My outline is 12 pages, which includes the structure points. I have not written the script yet! but am adapting a short story. My email address is junefortunato@mail.com

June

[Jacqueline Escolme]

Hi June, would you like to exchange outlines? I have a Drama with comedy elements. If yes my email is jescolme@yahoo.co.uk

Thanks, Jacqueline

[Jacqueline Escolme]

Hi Connie, I’d love to exchange with you after David if that works? 🙂

[Connie Barr]

Hi Jacqueline,

I’d be happy to exchange with you. Where are you in the process?

I am implementing the changes I received from my 1st feedback swap and could be ready to exchange tomorrow, Wed.6/28.

Connie

[David Penn]

David’s Outline Exchange #1

If anyone wants to exchange, please let me know.

Title: HEISTING THE CUP

Written By: David Agnew Penn

Email address: davidagnewpenn@gmail.com

Genre: Action-comedy

Concept: A crazed sports fan and his scheming roommate conspire to steal the Stanley Cup

[Melanie Collup]

Since I’m a hockey fan, how can I NOT want to read this?!

I have a rom-com, if you’re interested in swapping.

[David Penn]

Absolutely! Please send to davidagnewpenn@gmail.com

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Jen’s Outline Exchange #1

Hi, I have a thriller that I am ready to exchange.

[Judith Watson]

Hi, I have a thriller. Would you like to exchange? best, Judith Watson

cinemaself1@aol.com is my email address

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Hi Judith! Yes, I would love to exchange. I will send my outline now.

Thank you!

[Judith Watson]

Hi Jennifer, didn’t get your outline. please resend.

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Hi Judith, I just sent it again – maybe I am going to your spam..?

[Melanie Collup]

Melanie’s Outline Exchange #1

I’m looking for someone to exchange outlines with. Email me if you want to swap.

Title: Amy on the Train

Written By: Melanie Collup

Email address: mcollup@gmail.com

Genre: Rom-Com Concept: When a visually-impaired, mild-mannered librarian in her 50s creates a secret identity as a pole dancer on the NYC subway trains, she finds herself in a Clark Kent/Lois Lane/Superman-type love triangle with one of her library patrons who falls in love with her alter ego and is determined to learn her true identity.

[Connie Barr]

Hi Melanie,

I also have a rom-com and would be happy to exchange with you.

Connie

[Melanie Collup]

Connie, I’d be happy to trade outlines with you. I’m mid-swap with someone else right now, but after I get those notes back, I will send you my revised outline. You can send me yours whenever you are ready.

[Connie Barr]

Thanks Melanie,

I am also mid-swap, so let’s exchange for round 2.

Cheers,

Connie

[Jacqueline Escolme]

Hi Melanie, just emailed you 🙂

Jacqueline

[Lori Lance]

Lori’s Outline Exchange

I’m ready to exchange outlines. I have a faith-based Christmas drama.

Title: Hope for Christmas

Concept: A small-town pastor, the man that the town leans on the most, becomes the one it must hold up as he spirals downward in depression when facing the first Christmas without his wife.

[Denise Bryant]

Hi Lori, can we exchange sometime between the 2nd and 3rd exchange? My script is a Political Drama with faith-based scenes.

[Lori Lance]

Hi Denise, I’d love to exchange feedback. Let me know when you’re ready. Thanks!

[Denise Bryant]

I am ready Lori. Is your email the same as last year at comcast?

[Lori Lance]

Denise,

Yes, lori.lance@comcast.net. Send your outline whenever you’re ready. I’ll send mine after I get my first round feedback.

Thanks!

Lori

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Lori Lance.

[Denise Bryant]

Sending now.

[Frances Emerson]

FRAN’S OUTLINE EXCHANGE NUMBER #1

I am ready to exchange my outline.

emersofe@yahoo.com

[Denise Bryant]

Hi Fran.

Have you exchanged with anyone yet? I am in an exchange now and didn’t see replies for you.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Denise Bryant.

[Frances Emerson]

No one has replied yet that I can see.

[Denise Bryant]

Hi Fran,

Feel free to go ahead and send me your script. I am waiting for my feedback. I will look at yours while waiting. My email is dfbryant234@hotmail.com

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Denise Bryant.

[Frances Emerson]

P.S. I forgot to add mine is historical fiction/fantasy on the founding of Rome, an alternative story that blends the different stories that were written long ago. Gods and goddesses are in the story.

[Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith]

Jenifer Stockdale, would you like to exchange? Or if anyone else may have a thriller.

Pat’s Outline Exchange 1

Title: Psychic’s Crow

Written by: Pat Galbraith

E:mail: pgalbraith@epbfi.com

Genre: Thriller

Concept: A fatherless skateboarder and his misfit friends, including a pet crow, discover his mentor has been killed. They risk their lives to find his killer and bring the killer to justice.

[June f]

Hi Pat, I’d love to exchange with you. I have a dramedy, Katie and Ti. I haven’t written the script yet, but the outline includes structure points. JuneFortunato@mail.com

[Robert W. Daniel]

Robert’s Outline Exchange #1

TITLE: SAVING PARADISE

WRITTEN BY: Robert W. Daniel

EMAIL; rsdan4043@yahoo.com

GENRE: ACTION

CONCEPT A troubled Navy Seal Commander and his Red Scorpion Team have to stop or destroy a lunatic commander of a North Korean Nuclear Missile Submarine who issues a 72-hour ultimatum that threatens to finish what the Japanese failed to complete at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. Only this time with nukes that could kill millions of Americans.

[Lori Lance]

Hi Robert,

If you’re open to a Christmas drama, I’d like to exchange feedback.

lori.lance@comcast.net

Thanks.

Lori

[Robert W. Daniel]

Hi Lori,

Great! I’ll send it to you in the next hour or so.

Thanks,

Robert

[Charles Jessen]

I am ready to exchange feedback. I have a drama, a road trip movie set in the days before Christmas. (but definitely not a Hallmark or Lifetime style Christmas movie). PM me if you’d like to exchange feedback.

[Denise Bryant]

Hi Charles,

I have a drama, political based upon a true story. I am waiting to hear back from Lori regarding my second draft. I should know something today. I would be willing to exchange feedback but don’t want to hold you up if you are able to get someone right away. If you are, I would be delighted to exchange with you for your second draft.

[Charles Jessen]

Hey Denise, wow. 2nd round already… good for you. I’d like to catch up and get an exchange going right away. Hopefully I’ll be able to exchange with you on your next round, and my 2nd.

[Denise Bryant]

Sounds great, Charles. Looking forward to it.

[Denise Bryant]

Hi Charles,

Checking to see if you are ready for your next feedback. I am ready to exchange draft 3.

[Charles Jessen]

Hi Denise, when you are ready to exchange, email me at: charlesjessen@me.com Looking forward to seeing your outline.

[Denise Bryant]

Thanks, Charles.

Sending now.

[June f]

Hi Charles, I’ll be happy to read and comment on your outline. I’m waiting for responses on my first two rounds, but I’ve already returned my notes to them, so if you’re ready to send, I’ve got the headspace for your story. JuneFortunato@mail.com

[Charles Jessen]

Hi June, thanks! I’m going to noodle on my outline a bit today, based on feed back from round 1 and will then send it off to you.

[June f]

Great. I’ll look for your email. June

[Charles Jessen]

Hi June, I just sent you my outline for “The Road Back” Thank you!

[Brian Bays]

Brian’s Outline
Exchange 1

Anyone with a Thriller ready to exchange?

Title: “HEAD GAMES”

Written by: Brian Bays

Email address: brianbays@hotmail.com

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

Concept: A reclusive, young psychic is forced to team up with a skeptical detective to stop a killer, not knowing that the killer is possessed by an evil spirit who needs the psychic’s head to escape Purgatory.

[Charles Jessen]

Hey Brian, since we’re both catching up here with our first round, why don’t we exchange and get started. My email address is charlesjessen@me.com if you would like to exchange. Mine is a drama, with some humor in it. A pre-Christmas road trip movie.

[Brian Bays]

Hey Charles, sounds good. I’ll email you now.

[Judith Watson]

Hi Brian, I would be willing to exchange. I have one feedback before you, so when I get that done, I will email you my outline. My email address is cinemaself1@aol.com

best, Judith Watson

[Brian Bays]

Hi Judith, got your outline. I just finished my first exchange so I’ll be updating my outline and will send it over when I’m done.

Thanks,

Brian

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Hi, I think I’m still looking to do a round 1 exchange. I have thriller (post apocalyptic) entitled Red Fever that has lots of twists and turns. Ready to give and receive feedback!

[June f]

Jennifer, I can exchange. I have a dark dramedy- with an anti-hero. The outline is 12 pages. If you’re up for that, here’s my email address. . JuneFortunato@mail.com

[David Becker]

Hi Jenifer, I am ready for a second exchange if you have time. Please email me on david@beckerkemp.com if you are up for it. Look forward to it!

[CJ Knapp]

CJ is ready for exchange!

Action Thriller

cjknapp@earthlink.net

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  CJ Knapp.

[Monica Arisman]

Hey CJ,

I’ll exchange with you. I have an action. This would be exchange 3 for me. If that’s ok.

My email address is marisman@shaw.ca. I’ll send you an email to confirm. Thanks.

[CJ Knapp]

Wonderful! I have sent my outline and look forward to yours!

[Judith Watson]

Hi CJ, are you interested in exchanging with a thriller outline I have. My email is cinemaself1@aol.com

[Robert W. Daniel]

Hi CJ

I have a Action Outline and would be thrilled to exchange.

Email me: rsdan4043@ yahoo.com

Thanks,

Robert

[CJ Knapp]

Robert I just sent to Monica – would you be willing to be my second exchange?

[Robert W. Daniel]

Hi CJ,

Whenever your ready just send it over and I’ll return.

rsdan4043@yahoo.com

Thankz

Robert

[CJ Knapp]

Just sent it – cjknapp@earthlink.net

[Denise Bryant]

Hi, I am free for exchange 3 if anyone is available. Drama, Political. Based upon a true story. My email is dfbryant234@hotmail.com

[Frances Emerson]

Would you like to exchange with me? I have an historical fiction/fantasy. I love ancient history and mine is based on the founding of Rome.

Frances

[Denise Bryant]

I just saw this Fran. I am in an exchange now and would be willing for my next one if you would still be interested.

[Frances Emerson]

next time. let me know when you can.

[Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith]

I have a thriller anyone ready to exchange pgalbraith@epbfi.com

[Brian Bays]

Hi Patricia, I’m ready for Round 3 exchange if you are still interested. I have a Supernatural Thriller.

brianbays@hotmail.com

[Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith]

Hi Brian, just saw this. I would be happy to exchange my outline with you. If you are still interested. pgalbraith@epbfi.com Send it on over and I send mine.

[Brian Bays]

Hi Pat, sending now. Thanks!!

[Elisabeth Decesso]

Hi everyone,

I am not quite there yet but should have finished my outline by Thursday or Friday 7th or 8th July.

It’s a thriller, so if anyone is interested in exchanging feedback with me by then I would feel honored.

Thanks for everyone

My email: dreamdesignfamily@web.de or elisabethldecesso@gmail.com

[Susan Rose]

Hi Elisabeth,

I am a little behind, so I am looking for someone to exchange outlines with for a first round go. I am currently traveling back home so I would be delayed another day but let me know if you would like to exchange outlines. Thanks!

OUTLINE FOR FEEDBACK

· Title: KILLING TIME

· Written By: Susan Rose

· Email Address: sjrose0626@gmail.com

· Genre: Thriller

· Concept: In fear of their lives, teenage brothers kill and dispose of their murderous father; but 15 years later, the dead rises, and he is going to teach his sons a lesson.

[Tracy Cheney]

<div>I have caught up finally after vacation travel.</div>

Title: Sorority
Mom

Written by: Tracy Cheney

<div>

Email address: twcheney@gmail.com

Genre: comedy – fish out
of water

Concept: A 63-year-old Midwestern woman hoping to “find herself” in a supportive female world, accepts the job as House Director at a glitzy West Coast sorority planning a dirty Rush to skirt university sanctions

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[Susan Rose]

Does anyone still need to pair up here? I would like at least one review before moving on if anyone else is a little behind. Thanks!

[Frances Emerson]

I know where you’re coming from. Would you like me to give it a once over for you? send it here emersofe@yahoo.com. You don’t need to review mind. I have one coming.

[Susan Rose]

Thanks Frances, I will do so this evening. Your consideration is GREATLY appreciated, and if you’d like another review, please let me know.

[Stuart Voytilla]

Very late but making valuable strides during the first half of the class. If anyone is interested in providing feedback — or exchanging (on your draft for this class or another project), please let me know. Here’s what I’m working on:

“A Giving Heart”

svoytilla@sdsu.edu

Genre: Drama (biopic)

Concept: Against the musical backdrop of ’50s-‘70s male R&B groups, a determined black singer overcomes racism, interracial love, group rivalry, and alcoholism, finding his true purpose as a soloist for an all-white church, using his powerful voice and spiritual leadership to foster an inclusive community.

Thematic elements explored: racism, faith, physical and emotional abuse.