Lesson 10

[CJ Lyons]

CJ’s Level 1 Action Emotions

What I learned from this assignment… controlling the audience’s emotions is essential for pacing: rev ‘em up, let them breathe, then hit ‘em again for a true rollercoaster ride of thrills.

1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use anxiety, fear, and relief: end of Act 1 when Lucy’s trip to Mardi Gras turns deadly

2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.

Lucy and her daughter stop at Mardi Gras parade with NOLA local Andre. Amazing music, costumes, spectacular floats combine to relax Lucy to the point where she’s dancing with her daughter and Andre. But then she notices in the distance the crowd parting, people out of sync with the atmosphere and becomes ANXIOUS—something’s wrong. A car plows through the crowd driven by a man in a mask and trailing plumes of colorful smoke—an attack or a Mardi Gras stunt?

The crowd seems to think it’s a stunt but Lucy moves her daughter to safety just in time as the convertible races out of control, now posing a real danger. AFRAID someone will be killed, she pulls civilians out its path, protecting them while Andre jumps in, subduing the driver and stopping the car before anyone can get hurt. After its momentary panic the parade resumes and the crowd returns to its partying as if nothing happened, RELIEVED that the danger has passed.

Lucy’s not convinced and insists they leave, ANXIOUS she’s brought her daughter into danger despite Andre and the cops’ insistence that it was just a stunt gone wrong. Then she spies a Bratva tattoo on the driver and realizes her FEARS are warranted: the Bratva is here in New Orleans!

3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting anxiety, fear, and relief: still working on this but the outline above has been very helpful!

[ray Moore]

Ray’s Action Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment is How to keep the audience involved in the story with an emotional roller coaster.

1. Running through the tunnel.

Anxiety – hearing the sewer creatures

Fear – Fear of being eaten alive

Relief – Figuring out a deterrent

2. Talking to ex-wife during the gunfight (dropping his phone and gun)

Anxiety – seeing that she is calling during a gunfight

Fear – Fear of not answering the call

Relief – Hanging up on her and retrieves his fallen weapon

3. Mother’s attack

Anxiety – Heard his mother’s name from the villain

Fear – Fear that his mother would be hurt or killed

Relief – The attack was thwarted

4. Wife and son kidnapping

Anxiety Sees loved ones on the camera with the villain

Fear – Fear that his loved ones would be hurt or killed

Relief – Allies rescue them

5. Hero attacked by Hitsquad

Anxiety – Stalked and attacked

Fear – Outnumbered and outgunned

Relief – They escaped

6. Son injured

Anxiety – Hero finds son in a pool of blood

Fear – Rushes son to hospital in fear of his survival

Relief – He walks into the son’s room and sees him sitting on the bed

[Deb Johnson]

Deb’s Level 1 Action Emotions

What I learned… Wow – I really struggled with perfectionism on this one. Though we’ve seen scenes like this a million times – it’s hard to make it unique. However, I was able to create a scene with some anxiety, fear, and relief – which was the point of the exercise.

A camera crew tracks a train going 30mph.

Descending from the sky is a one-man drone piloted by Jimmy Blazer. Jimmy’s drone is chased by a helicopter.

Jimmy lands the drone on top of the train. Shots are fired from the helicopter that hovers above him.

Jimmy exits the drone and races across the top of the train. He slips and slides to the edge of the train.

The tracking camera crew looks on in shock.

Jimmy grabs the edge and hangs on.

A worried crewman on the camera track talks excitedly into a walkie-talkie.

Jimmy, holding on for life, falls asleep. His body drops off the moving train. When he hits the embankment, his eyes open, startled.

He rolls down the embankment, towards a large bolder. He hits the boulder, head-on, and completely blacks out.

The train stops. All members of the camera crew race to Jimmy.

Someone grabs his hand.

Crew member 1: Jimmy, Jimmy, You ok?

Crew member 2: Oh my god, is he dead?

Another grabs his face and checks his pulse.

Crew member 3: He’s alive. He’s breathing.

Crew member 1: Somebody get Justin out here, quick.

[karl gromelski]

(Your name’s) Level 1 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…” intentionally making a scene more emotional amps up the rest of the story.

ANXIETY

Hero and Girl enter loft. Hacks the NOPD.

Cancels status on Hero’s BOLO. Changes photo to J Edgar.

Hacks Fed database. Set up timer for 5 min before discovered.

Gets partial info. They try to change status. Hurry…

FEAR

Computer pinged.

“They know where we are.”

FBI & DHS load guns. Rush to loft. Bust in. Empty.

RELIEF

Hero & Girl watch from across the street.

REVENGE

Guy returning to his loft – busted by FBI.

Busted guy was a hacker traitor.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  karl gromelski.