Lesson 10

[CJ Lyons]

M3-Lesson 10 ASSIGNMENT

CJ’s Beat Sheet for PATIENT X:

What I learned doing this assignment was how to interweave the main storylines for greatest impact

1. Tell us your Show Concept and Inciting Incident.

CONCEPT: ER physician Dr. Angela Rossi suddenly develops psychic powers, thrusting her into the hunt for a global cabal of killers after she learns she’s Patient X in a plot to spread a fatal prion disease across humanity.

Inciting Incident of Season 1: Rossi must trust her diseased mind with its new psychic powers to save a girl and stop a killer—which also means admitting she’s ill and discovering what’s wrong with her

2. List your A, B, and C Stories.

A story = Rossi’s search for Cabal killers

B story = Rossi’s relationships: Ryder, Devon, Jacob, family

C story = Rossi dealing with symptoms/fatal disease

3. Present your current Beat Sheet with no dialogue.

TEASER:

EXT. Alley behind church, night:

A nun and young girl running away from a housing project, unknown forces following them, the nun tells the girl to run, save herself and shoos her down a stairway, then the nun runs the other way, rounds a corner and is shot in the chest

ACT ONE:

INT urban ER, Thanksgiving night

JACOB enters, bearing huge platter of food, which the staff applauds, one taking it from him, another leading him to a curtained room where ROSSI is treating a man with a scalp laceration, RYDER. As they banter, we learn Jacob is an assistant DA and Rossi’s ex-husband, Ryder is police detective; Jacob pulls Rossi aside, clearly still loves her and is worried about her, mentions a few of her symptoms, also closer to her family than she is

EXT Kingston Towers, night

DEVON arrives home after years of exile and first person he sees is the gangleader who wants him dead—and is blocking his way to get to Jess and Esme

—Need to showcase his intelligence, street smarts, desire for no violence, but willing to fight dirty if need be to protect those he loves

EXT ER night

Car races up, gunshot nun dumped outside ER doors

ACT TWO:

INT ER night

Staff rushes into action, including Rossi (with Ryder and Jacob trailing behind), Rossi commanding and passionate as fights for nun’s life despite fact that no vitals and trauma team not there, breaks protocol by cracking nun’s chest in desperate attempt to save her

INT Towers night

Devon races to Jess’s apartment, opens door to find her dead, obviously murdered, her seeing-eye dog whimpering beside her, he’s shocked, furious, heart-struck—all the big emotions churning, but pushed aside as he races through the apartment looking for Esme… who’s missing, now terrified, he races to door but stops, no idea where to go next…

INT ER, night

Rossi tries to save nun as Ryder watches, coordinates police response, suddenly time stops for Rossi as she holds the flatlined, “dead” nun’s heart in her hands, her vision filling with a looping moment of the nun being shot and falling, the nun’s voice commanding her to “Find the girl, save the girl.”

It feels like forever but she blinks back to reality and only a few seconds have passed, the only person who noticed her “brain-stutter” is Jacob. The trauma team arrives and declare the nun dead, berating Rossi for breaking the rules. Ryder leaves to go to the scene of the shooting—it’s a now a homicide, making it his case.

ACT THREE:

INT Towers, night

Devon bangs on Jess’s neighbors’ doors, searching for Esme, finally an elderly woman tells him she saw Sister Patrice take Esme away, a few minutes before she heard banging on Jess’s door

INT ER break room, night

Rossi’s shift over, she finally collapses, the nun’s memory and voice ricocheting through her mind—did her momentary lapse cause the nun’s death?—when Jacob enters and confronts her about what happened during the resuscitation, she’s overwhelmed and exhausted, denies everything but he’s obviously not buying it, wants her to come home with him and she gets angry and leaves

EXT alley behind church, night

Ryder marshals his team at the scene of the nun’s shooting, sends cops to canvass the Towers (on one side of the alley) while he talks with the priest—clear he knows the priest and attends the church—but learns nothing other than the victim is Sister Patrice

EXT alley behind church, night

Rossi arrives and tells Ryder the nun had a little girl with her and the girl’s missing, but can’t explain how she knows or who the girl is, but she does find the door the nun sent the girl to—it leads to Cold War emergency tunnels built under the city, closed off for decades

Devon’s arrives just as Ryder is sending Rossi away, somehow this ER doctor is also looking for Esme, no time for questions, he’ll take all the help he can get—and he knows another way into the tunnels, via the church

INT church basement

Rossi decides to trust Devon, allows him to lead her into tunnels

ACT FOUR:

EXT alley, night

Cops canvassing Towers call Ryder: second crime scene and murder victim

INT tunnels, night

Devon picks lock to tunnel entrance and he and Rossi descend into a nightmarish labyrinth of concrete and steel with doors that seal with valve-wheels like a submarine’s, Cold War radiation treatment stations, etc… and evidence of the new inhabitants: homeless camps, and booby-trapped hallways leading to drugdealer’s stashes

He and Rossi follow the dog’s lead, occasionally stopping to dismantle booby-traps when suddenly the dog stops and whines and he turns to see Rossi frozen, catatonic

INT Jess’s apartment, Towers night

Ryder at second murder scene, the priest accompanies him, insists on providing last rites as soon as ME will allow, confirms that Jess had a daughter, Esme, who’s missing—changing Ryder’s entire response as he curses himself for not listening to Rossi, but how the hell did Rossi know? Is she somehow involved in the murders? But she was in the ER, he saw how hard she worked to save nun—and he kinda likes her

INT tunnels, night

Rossi’s “vision”: gloved hands hustling Esme through dark tunnels, heading toward a red light at the far end

Devon confronts Rossi—what’s wrong with her? Seizures or something? How did she even know Esme was missing or where to go? Given all the lethal traps in the tunnels, she’s risking all their lives by not coming clean

Rossi must choose whether to share symptoms with Devon—if does means admitting she’s seriously ill, if not then might lead him into danger if she gets worse—but latest “spell” told her they’re going the wrong way, only way to convince Devon is to tell him the truth

ACT FIVE:

EXT alley above tunnel entrance, night

Ryder meets with fire chief, city engineer—no one has accurate map of tunnels, much of it is “no man’s land” controlled by Royale gang, drug dealers, etc, but Ryder has an ace up his sleeve—he has officer’s bring him a guy he once arrested who had lived in the tunnels and who provides him with a hand-drawn map. The fire crew cuts the steel door open, but Ryder can’t risk any of his team’s lives on the unknown dangers below, so musters his courage and climbs down

INT tunnels, night

With Esme’s life at stake can Devon trust Rossi and her “visions”? But what other choice does he have? He allows her to lead them in the other direction. They pass a burned out room and she stops, asks him what happened here—as if she somehow already knows part of the story—says he lost something here and he reluctantly tells her how Jess was blinded and he was exiled by the Royales.

She says she knows Esme is his daughter—she doesn’t need any crazy powers to figure that out, it’s obvious—but he explains he’s never met Esme, couldn’t return and endanger her and Jess, so he’s only seen pictures, Esme has no idea he’s her father, but with Jess gone, he’s all she has left, he can’t fail her like he failed Jess.

INT tunnels, night

Ryder fights PTSD flashbacks to the many holes/caves he led his men into in Afghanistan, but preserves, finding that one branch of the tunnel leads to the hospital’s basement down the hall from the medical waste incinerator and morgue; he goes back the other way, following his rough map, and traveling deeper into darkness until he sees a moving light far in the distance

INT tunnel “lab”, night

They arrive at a door that sets the dog off and makes Rossi shake. She opens it and takes a step inside as Devon restrains whining dog, the space is set up like an operating room—except for the thick restraints and blood covering the patient table.

There’s a door with a window, the latch is the same as restaurant refrigerators, she can’t help it, she’s drawn to the door as if compelled… Ryder arrives just as she opens it to see eleven women hanging from meathooks, their skulls opened, brains missing…

INT high-tech lab, unknown location/time:

Woman, only hands/back seen, gets a text: beta test subjects found, police have bodies

She replies: ignore, are alphas displaying symptoms?

Response: Patient X appears to be, will follow

[Lloyd Shellenberger]

M3-Lesson 10 ASSIGNMENT
Lloyd’s Beat Sheet for Benjamin Greene Pilot Episode 1 and 2 Thou Shalt have no God before us.
What I learned doing this assignment was putting the main storylines in at the right places for the greatest
impact
Working Hard every day to become the best writer I can be and as a result I do become the best writer in
Hollywood.
1. Tell us your Show Concept and Inciting Incident.

CONCEPT: Col. Benjamin Greene, a former CIA assassin turn Special Operations Commander, and his crew are
brutally recruited into a top-secret Pentagon agency to make sure the nations secret, stay secret.

Inciting Incident of Season 1: The Puzzle Works forces Col. Greene to kill a woman he is with or watch his son
die. They also threaten his son, forcing him to agree to their demands.

2. List your A, B, and C Stories.

A story =Col. Greene and his crew are brutally recruited into the Puzzle Works. They must complete the
dangerous missions under the threat of exposure, even death.

B story = Col. Greene’s relationship with his son, Desmoines, and his crew.

C story = Col. Greene always under the threat of exposure, arrest and compromise from Politicians, Police,
Drug lords, and a host of questionable players from the Puzzle Works.

3. Present your current Beat Sheet with no dialogue.

TEASER:
INT. Drug warehouse Afghanistan – day
Bodies lie everywhere throughout the drug house as Lt. Greene and his crew load up sacks of money and
Herion.

EXT. Rural road Afghanistan – day
Col. Greene’s convoy is ambushed, Greene and his men are pushed to the brink of extinction.

INT. Greene’s Humvee after his has been overturned.

ACT ONE:
INT. Ft. Bragg Special Operations Command Greene’s office – day

A commotion is heard down the hall as First Sergeant Desmoines Yells at an agent loading up his car. He is
also served divorce papers by his soon-to-be ex-wife.

EXT. Col. Greene’s Ft. Bragg Office – day
Desmoines is arrested for discharging a weapon. The MPs are loading him into the patrol car.

INT. Ft. Bragg Brigg – day
Col. Greene retrieves his first Sergeant and signs for his release. Tells Desmoines to go home.

INT. Fayetteville Bar – night
Col. Greene sits at the bar drinking with a woman when her husband and a friend enter. They harass Greene
who proceeds to almost kill them. The bartender saves them and tells Greene to leave. The women leaves
with him.

EXT. Ft. Bragg NC Officer housing – night
Greene and the woman from the bar pull up to his quarters. Both are passionate and kissing outside the
house.

INT. Greene and the woman enter the house. A light is on in his study, it is turned off, Greene sees this and
draws his pistol. He tells the woman to leave. She does. Greene is forced to kill woman and watch as his son
is threatened.

ACT TWO
INT. Col Greene’s office – next morning
Col. Greene and his crew arrive the next day and open safe installed in office and confirmed this is real
mission.

EXT. Tarmac Ft. Bragg -Night

Greene and his men board C-130 but it is stopped on Tarmac.

The MPs arrest and detain Greene and his crew.

INT. Ft. Bragg Brigg –night
Warned get in the air or his son dies. The do get in the air
EXT. Tarmac Kabul Afghanistan – day

INT. Command TOC – Day

ACT THREE

EXT. Afghanistan Rural regions – day

The convoy travels through a rural mountainous area until it arrives at a remote village that has no activity.

INT. Drug house raid – day

Dead bodies and blood are everywhere. Lt. Greene and his men load up drugs and money

EXT. Rural mountainous roads – day

Greene and his crews are ambushed, Greene and his
men are almost killed.

ACT FOUR

EXT. Ft. Bragg Simmons Army Airfield ACP – night

Greene and his men drive their Humvees and equipment off the C-130

INT. Col. Greene’s office Ft. Bragg – day

Greene and his men evaluate the intel Jones has acquired.

EXT. Downtown Fayetteville NC abandoned building – night

SPC. Jones and SGT. Jones are performing surveillance on the drug operations.

ACT FIVE
EXT. Fayetteville NC warehouse – night

A raid is performed by Greene and his crew. The crew robs and kills everyone in the warehouse.

INT. Fayetteville NC warehouse-Night

Greene and his men weave their way through the isles and eliminate the drug crew one by one.

Episode 2 Tho shalt have no God before us.

Teaser

INT. Building 14 warehouse – night

Greene and his crew are going through the warehouse looking for the drugs delivered from Simmons Army
Base.

The bodies of General Moseley’s men lie dead in the isles.

EXT. Warehouse Ft. Bragg NC Building 14 – night

The warehouse is in full blaze and explosions light up the night

ACT ONE

INT. Building 14 Warehouse – day

SGT. Jones Is going through bills of lading from Simmons Army Airbase Ft. Bragg NC

ACT TWO

INT. General Moseley’s quarters – day

Greene visits his old friend and realizes he set him up in Afghanistan.

EXT. General Moseley’s quarters – night

Greene follows his Friend to Building 14

ACT THREE

EXT. Fayetteville warehouse –night

A drug warehouse is raided by the local PD Col. Greene is with them.

INT. Fayetteville warehouse – night

Col. Greene kills the drug lord in charge.

ACT FOUR

EXT. Simmons Army Airbase Ft. Bragg NC –night

The last shipment from Afghanistan is highjacked by Greene and his crew

INT. Fayetteville storage – day

Greene and his men pay the clerk for the space and put a lock on the door

INT. Building Warehouse Ft. Bragg – night

SGT. Jones is threatened and tied up in the warehouse. She sends a message to Lt. Greene for help.

INT. Building 14 Ft. Bragg NC –night
Sgt. Jones is tortured and beaten.

ACT FIVE

INT. Building warehouse 14 – night

Greene and his crew raid the warehouse looking for the drugs delivered from Simmons Army Base. The crew rescues SGT. Jones then kill every employee on sight.

EXT. Warehouse Ft. Bragg NC Building 14 – night

The warehouse is in full blaze and explosions light up the night Everyone is killed

INT. Fayetteville warehouse – day

Lt. Green and Desmoines stand in a vacant warehouse with a local real estate agent they are here to rent the space.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  Lloyd Shellenberger.