Lesson 10

[Dawn Greenfield]

Dawn Greenfield’s Reaction to the Inciting Incident ~ Lesson 10

What I learned doing this assignment is to build out scenes.

INT: JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jack is passed out cold in his pigsty apartment. The front door is plated with thick steel which is rippled with indents.

A polite knock on the door changes to pounding.

Jack wakes, grabs his Ruger and fires at the front door.

O.S. Screams and wails of a baby and a woman.

INT. CONTINUOUS – DAY

Jack gets up, grabs a pair of lounging pants and steps into them. He staggers to the door, yanks it open, gun pointed at the potential intruder.

INT./EXT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT:

A WOMAN stands outside holding ELSIE, a 6-MONTH-OLD BABY.

She delivers the bad news to Jack: his sister died. He’s in charge of his niece.

The woman shoves the baby at Jack, kicks the diaper bag across the threshold and exits in a car.

INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Trash and garbage litter every surface and the floor. Jack discovers babies shove things in their mouths. Everything is moved off the floor to surfaces/tables/counters.

Jack explores contents of the bag: diapers, bottles, clothes, toys, paperwork. He sets paperwork aside.

Elsie screams – she’s hungry. Jack doesn’t have a clue what to do.

He discovers Elsie can’t sit in a chair safely. Elsie sits on a couple of books and is tied to the chair with electric cord.

Jack fixes a bowl of cereal and gives it to Elsie. She whacks it all over the place.

[JOEL STERN]

Lesson 10

Joel Stern’s Act 1: Inciting Incident

What I learned from this assignment: To write a powerful inciting incident.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

A 1930s RADIO plays Richard Wagner’s, “The Ring Cycle”.

German knick-knacks fill the room. On the coffee table the Milwaukee Journal’s HEADLINE: “Hitler’s Ultimatum to Poland”.

Through the front window a group of neighborhood kids play touch football on the lawn. A BOY stops, waves at the face in the window.

BOY

Come on Ray, we need another player!

EXT. FRONT WINDOW – DAY

Watching is sad, sickly looking RAY, (18).

INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Ray’s father ERNST, (45) enters. Stocky, bald like a butcher from the old country. Ray snaps to attention sans salute. Ernst stops within three feet of Ray, their eyes meet… Ray’s eye twitches. SMACK! Ernst hits Ray’s face. Ray doesn’t even blink.

ERNST

You should be playing ball with your friends, not inside listening to opera! You must Americanize!

SUPER: “JULY 4, 1943”

EXT. RAY’S HOUSE – DAY

A government car waits for Ray, now 22 and Ernst to say goodbye. Stoic Ernst shakes his son’s hand.

ERNST

Goodbye son. Remember — everyday people put Hitler into power and it will take every day people to rid the world of him.

EXT. CAR – DUSK

An hour or so later. The car makes it way down a misty, lonely winding road. A depressing site and a perfect time to reflect.

INT. CAR – EVENING

Rays sad EYES stare out the window.

RAY FLASHBACK:

INT. APARTMENT – COLOGNE, GERMANY – EVENING

Simple, German middle class — just enough to get by in Hitler’s Germany.

Ray, (14) Ernst and relatives sit at the table about to have dinner.

ERNST

Son, it is your turn to say grace.

Ray’s uncomfortable, really doesn’t want to. It goes against his grain. Smiling, expecting faces prod him. Here goes…

RAY

Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty —

O.S.: THREE, FOUR THUNDEROUS BANGS.

The front door flies open and two German soldiers (20s) enter with a vicious barking German Shepherd.

SOLDIER #1

Unten auf dem Boden, ihr Judenabschaum! Hände hinter dem Kopf!

(Down on the floor you Jew scum! Hands behind your heads!)

All oblige. The dog barks, growls, nearly chews off Ray’s arm. He shakes. Soldier #2 presses the barrel of his rifle to Ernst’s temple.

ERNST

Meine Herren, da muss ein Irrtum vorliegen, wir sind keine Juden, wir sind Katholiken! Sehen Sie selbst!

(Gentlemen, there must be some mistake — we are not Jews, we are Catholics! See for yourselves!)

Ernst, sweats profusely, points behind him to a CROSS on the wall. The soldiers mumble to each other. The tension breaks. They realize they’re in the wrong apartment.

SOLDIER #1

Where then are the Friedman’s?

(Wo sind dann die Friedmans?)

His eyes meet Ray’s. They say “I’m sorry, but…”

ERNST

Sie… sie sind nebenan.

They… they are next door.)

Ray looks deeply disappointed.

Soldier #1 tips his helmet, leaves with Soldier #2. The door shuts. Seconds later: BANG, BANG…CRASH! They burst into the apartment next door. A shot! A woman screams…

RETURN TO SCENE:

INT. CAR – EVENING

Indistinguishable war talk on the radio. The DRIVER, (30) lowers the volume.

DRIVER

I can turn on something else if you want.

RAY

Yes. Opera would be fine.

The driver looks at him through the mirror to see if he’s joking.

Ray stares out the window.

INT. OSS OFFICE – DAY

Ray is being interviewed. INSERT: Ray’s college TRANSCRIPT. Lots of good things on it. The interviewer is impressed.

EXT: OSS SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

A bullet misses a TARGET fifty yards away. Red FLAGS go up next to it. Shooter Ray, now 25 couldn’t hit the side of a barn ten feet away. It’s mandatory target practice and he’s failing miserably. Pop, pop, pop! Three between-the-eyes hits by the agent next him. This man is known as “J”, (40) super All American type. He introduces himself to Ray, tells him about his privileged upbringing – upper class background, a Harvard grad. His mannerisms show it.

INT. BAR – EVENING

Ray, “J” and three tipsy fellow agents sit at a table. Ray refuses a beer, asks for soda instead. “J” recalls beating tennis star Bobby Riggs in a match but Ray isn’t impressed. “Something’s not right with this guy,” “J” tells the others. Ray doesn’t fit in well – an outcast.

EXT. SHOOTING RANGE – NIGHT

Ray’s getting extra work in. “J” approaches, gives him helpful shooting tips.

EXT. SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

Through a scope: A target 100 yards away. Bullseye! Ray’s getting to be an expert marksman.

INT. OSS FILM ROOM

OSS boss, Ray and other agents watch film of an experiment where a man turns into another man. Boss says this procedure that will transform “J” into another person in order for him to elude capture after killing Hitler.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Head bandaged, “J” has just been operated on and is asleep. Top OSS brass talk about the operation and that it’s a success. It could be big boost to war effort.

SERIES OF QUICK SHOTS:

Scenes of OSS agents being arrested by the Gestapo.

INT. OSS BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

Emergency meeting of big wigs. The four top agents were tortured and liquidated by the Germans. “J” is told he will take the mission to kill Hitler instead. Ray refuses. The boss slams down Ray’s college transcript.: “I know you’re a fraud, Hillman!” His life is on the line. He reluctantly accepts.

INT. OSS BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

A few months later. Boss gets word that “J” is now assassinating important Allied officials instead of key Nazi’s. But he can’t be caught because of the procedure that he underwent to give him the ability morph into other people near him.

INT. PLANE – DAY

Engines roar, the door opens. Ray’s hooked up but not ready to jump. The examiner gives him a look; “You better get this done.” Ray pisses his pants, jumps.

INT. LONDON HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Although he’s 25, Ray’s a virgin. The PROSTITUTE says she’s a company perk and assures him all is okay.

EXT. ALLEY – FRANCE – NIGHT

After a night of drinking, drunken Ray and a WOMAN, (21) have sex. She’s a Nazi spy but he doesn’t know it.

PLACEHOLDER:

Ray chases agent “J” through occupied Europe. Gets wounded but lives. Continues the chase. Ray sees “J” kill and immediately transform into other people. Ray finally kills him.

PLACE HOLDER:

SUPER: “EAST PRUSSIA, JULY 20, 1944”

Ray gets word that Hitler is nearby at Wolf’s Lair. It’s the Allies latest and best chance to assassinate him. Rays get’s him in his sights. As he’s about to pull the trigger a bomb explodes – killing several German High Command but Hitler survives.

QUICK SHOTS:

Allies win the war in Europe, occupy Berlin.

PLACEHOLDER:

Ray sorts through pictures of gold and artworks looted by the Nazi’s. “This is what is was really all about.”

SUPER: “MILWAUKEE, WI SIX MONTHS LATER”

INT. RAY’S KITCHEN

Three letters are neatly arranged on the table – Harvard, Yale, Milwaukee College. All offer Ray teaching positions. He asks his wife – the former Nazi spy – to choose. She places his hand on the Milwaukee College invite. She tells him he’ll always be a man of the people. They smile.

PLACE HOLDER:

Throughout the story Ray comes to grips with his demeanor formed largely by his strict father and adjusts his behavior.