Lesson 11

[Diane Keranen]

Diane’s Full-out Characters

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that the most powerful traits that my characters are trying to control and not let loose are the traits that are most likely going to allow the story to be told effectively.

CURRENT PROFILE OF THREE OF MY CHARACTERS

DESCRIPTION: Stewart is a combat-affected veteran who has found a way to avoid hurting his loved ones.
TRAITS: Stewart: Strong, Determined, Careful, Distant
SUBTEXT: Stewart uses distance from his loved ones as his way of protecting them from the harm, physical and mental, that he could inflict on them.

DESCRIPTION: Matt is returning from a third combat deployment and wants to find a way to stay home and make it work with his family.
TRAITS: Eager, Anxious, Short-tempered, Confused
SUBTEXT: Matt is unsure if he will be able to adjust to civilian life. He seeks Stewart’s help because he believes Stewart can help him figure out how to adjust.

DESCRIPTION: Claire has been patient with her husband’s distance but is ready to change that so she insists that Stewart find a way to help Matt come home.
TRAITS: Gentle, Giving, Persistent, Worried
Subtext: Claire is pushing father and son together because their estrangement can now be overcome because they now have combat-trauma in common.

REVISED PROFILE OF THREE OF MY CHARACTERS

DESCRIPTION: Stewart is a self-isolated combat veteran who has created a living situation where he can exist without harming his loved ones (his belief). He does not want to give up the distance he has created because this is his way of protecting Matt and Claire from the harm, physical and mental, that he is capable of inflicting on them (even though he doesn’t want to).
TRAITS: Strong-willed, Suspicious, Protective, Volatile
SUBTEXT: Stewart does not think he can help Matt (or anyone) and will only make things worse if he does try to help.

DESCRIPTION: Matt is a returning combat veteran who has been unable to cope with society and family, even confronting his estranged father, whatever the cost, to finally know where and if he can “reintegrate” as his combat-trauma self.
TRAITS: Personable, Anxious, Over-reactive, Angry
SUBTEXT: Matt is unsure if he will be able to adjust to civilian life but if he overcomes his resentment of his father, he hopes Stewart can help him figure out how to live in a world where he feels he doesn’t belong.

DESCRIPTION: Claire has been patient with her husband’s distancing himself, until now, she is ready to end their living-apart arrangement and insists that Stewart find a way to help Matt return from combat so they can end their estrangement and Matt doesn’t follow Stewart’s pattern of isolation.
TRAITS: Easygoing, Restless, Daring, Blunt
Subtext: Claire is willing to risk it all to bring her family together.

[Ronald Neustrom]

Ron Neustrom Full-Out characters (lesson 11)

What l’ve learned that is improving my writing… are ways of designing characters with subtexts
and traits that can be used in every scene and create new and heightened levels of conflict.
For instance, I began with my main protagonist as principled, but I think you can take most traits
to the extreme and create more conflict. So I pushed her as a rigid perfectionist
because it would escalate the conflict and create more obstacles with her sister and co-workers.
This is the main relationship in the story. By making specific changes to her traits it ups the conflict,
and it can also open different paths to explore my theme – People grieve differently.
One of my main takeaways from the first 40% of this course is that these traits are carried
with each character in every scene. I always wrote character biographies (outlines) in the beginning then
began to see behavior patterns in some of the better stories and wondered how A-List writers
expanded that. You have shown me a way. List the traits and bring them along to each scene.
Be less subtle and more overt…the overall result will be a stronger reaction from the reader/audience.
I have been looking for ways to get out of the middle and move into the extremes.
Expand my range…This is a clear and effective path for me and how I control my characters and explore my themes.

*ps. I used characters from my own screenplay.

Current Profiles (Old)

Vivian
(Description) – She is devoted to helping those in crisis through her new Outreach Facility.
(Traits)-helpful, skilled, empathetic, focused
(Subtext) – Her mother was killed years ago, and she has spent her life turning to helping others as a way to cope.

Kaye
(Description) He is the Deputy contact working with my main protagonist and isn’t happy about the assignment.
(Traits)-cynical, hidden, connected, cruel
(Subtext) He is in a criminal group that killed Vivian’s mother years before.

Alex
(Description) He is working as one of the new sidekicks in the department and in their criminal activities.
(Traits) – Tech-savvy, follower, humorous,mean
(Subtext) I designed him as an enforcer for the leader of the corrupt Deputies.

Revised Profiles (New)

Vivian
(Description) Vivian chose to help others instead of fully grieving the loss of her mother.
(Traits) Vulnerable, Perfectionist, Driven, Distrustful
(Subtext) Vivian’s sister is also grieving but is using her to find out who killed their mother years before. She will force Vivian’s change from an empathetic social worker to a revenge killer.

Kaye
(Description) He is a coworker that will help Vivian uncover her mother’s killer from years before.
(Traits) Dangerous, Seductive, Unpredictable, Schemer
(Subtext) Kaye works as an undercover Deputy and his new assignment with Vivian gets in the way and creates extra danger for him and his other deputies.

Alex
(Description) Alex is covertly giving information on Vivian and her sister to a corrupt Deputy Gang lead by the man who killed their mother years ago.
(Traits) Highly Skilled, Ruthless, Ambitious
(Subtext) Alex is a loyal but covert Deputy gang enforcer but as the story progresses his ambition will strain his relationship with the other Deputy gang criminals.

• This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by  Ronald Neustrom.
• This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by  Ronald Neustrom.

[Diane Keranen]

Great job on intensifying the traits of each of these characters. With this little bit of writing, your script sound much more interesting and engaging with this refocused attention on character traits.