Lesson 11

[Mark Napier]

ASSIGNMENT 11 Title: (Mark) Full-out Characters

What I learned: Where I was provided the scene arc, a given situation and traits to develop a scene using interests and traits to develop a scene, I am now developing my own character traits and laying the foundation to the development of my own scene.

[CURRENT]
Characters:
Description: Joe is a lesbian soccer coach living the double life of drag queen.
Joe’s Traits – Introvert, Sarcastic, Bold, and Perverse
Subtext: Despite being shy and perverse, Joe will maliciously retaliate against adversaries if crossed.

Description: Mace is a bipolar drag queen and alter ego of Joe bent on fame and fortune.
Mace’s Traits – Flamboyant, Feminine, Whimsical, and Catty
Subtext: Joe‘s bipolar ‘alter ego’ is Mace who –on stage and behind– seeks fame and fortune, but will play cat and mouse with competition to get attention.

Description: Robin is an ambitious college graduate of psychology who uses his tradecraft to destroy to get ahead.
Robin’s Traits – Ambitious, Giving, Crafty and Treacherous
Subtext: Robin schemes to exploit his competition on stage to turn Joe against Mace treacherously applying psychologically to destroy.

[REVISED ]
Characters:
Description: Joe is a lesbian soccer coach living the double life of drag queen.
Joe’s Traits – Introvert, Sarcastic, Bold, and Deviant
Subtext: Despite being shy, Joe stands her ground on values but will maliciously retaliate against adversaries if crossed.

Description: Mace is a bipolar drag queen whose alter ego –Joe– is bent on fame and fortune.
Mace’s Traits – Flamboyant, Feminine, Bipolar, and Backstabbing
Subtext: Joe‘s bipolar ‘alter ego’ is Mace who –on stage and behind– seeks fame and fortune, but will backstab competition to get attention.

Description: Robin is an ambitious college graduate of psychology who uses his tradecraft to destroy to get ahead.
Robin’s Traits – Ambitious, Giving, Crafty, and Treacherous
Subtext: Robin schemes to exploit his competition on stage to turn them treacherously against one another applying psychologically to destroy the competition.

• This reply was modified 2 months ago by  Mark Napier.
• This reply was modified 2 months ago by  Mark Napier.

[Rita Roberts]

Rita’s Full-out Characters

What I learned:
I’m not clear enough yet about the story or the characters.
These assignments will help get clear.
In a writing assignment or writing from producer’s notes if their vision is different than mine… it’s definitely a needed skill to immerse myself in someone else’s vision. And then, if I enhance it, will they like my changes or additions?

[CURRENT]

SALLY

DESCRIPTION: Sally is a leader, everyone want to be around her, she’s a bridge who connects ideas and people, extremely curious but doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.

TRAITS: Leader, Curious, Adventurous, Charming

SUBTEXT: Sometimes impulsive, and pushes too far.

Lulu

DESCRIPTION: Lulu is the quiet thinker who is sometimes misunderstood because she doesn’t show her feelings.

TRAITS: intellectual, independent, hides emotion, aloof

SUBTEXT: Lonely except for her long friendship with Sally.

DAN

DESCRIPTION: Dan is a feeling person who connects deeply but is also too shy to initiate contact.

TRAITS: empathetic, intuitive, nervous, shy

SUBTEXT: Dan longs to be with Sally, she naturally expresses what he lacks, but he’s shy and she’s oblivious.

[REVISED]
1. SALLY

DESCRIPTION: Sally is a leader, everyone want to be around her, she’s a bridge who connects ideas and people, extremely curious which leads her to ask personal, embarrassing questions. She’s impatient with other peoples’ reticence.

TRAITS: Leader, Curious, Adventurous, Overbearing

SUBTEXT: Sally’s impulsive actions and excessive demands cause her friends to abandon her on their exploratory adventure.

2. LULU

DESCRIPTION: Lulu is the quiet thinker who is sometimes misunderstood because she doesn’t show her feelings. She often ignores people because she’s lost in thought, which offends them.

TRAITS: intellectual, independent, aloof, arrogant

SUBTEXT: Her long friendship with Sally gets Lulu front row seats to all the attention Sally gets and builds her lonely resentment.

3. DAN

DESCRIPTION: Dan continuously sets up situations for Sally to get that he likes her but she’s too distracted by the attention of others. He plots to get Sally alone on their adventure but it nearly kills her when she tumbles down the mountain.

TRAITS: empathetic, intuitive, nervous, shy

SUBTEXT: Dan’s shy and nervous traits hold everyone back, not just himself.

[Mary Albanese]

What I learned: by focusing on traits that create drama, you can elevate interesting drama in the story.

OLD: Elsie
DESCRIPTION: A woman desperate to have a baby.
TRAITS: determined, guilt-ridden, creative, loving.
SUBTEXT: She will do anything to have this baby, even if it nearly kills her.
NEW: Give Elsie self-conflicts.
DESCRPTION Her loyalty is challenged when she must make an impossible choice.
TRAITS: determined, loyal, guilt-ridden, loving
SUBTEXT: To keep this baby she must destroy the person she owes the baby to.

OLD: Jared
DESCRIPTION: The man who tricks Elsie into having his baby.
TRAITS: Controlling, charming, scheming, evil.
SUBTEXT: He schemes to get Elsie pregnant when he knows she’s married.
NEW: More layers to Jared so he’s not a cartoon villain.
DESCRPTION: The man who chooses Elsie because she’s like him in many ways.
TRAITS: Controlling, charming, loyal to his race, desperate.
SUBTEXT: He is drawn to Elsie because they are both deeply loyal and determined.

OLD: Matthew
DESCRIPTION: Elsie’s husband who wants to keep her healthy even if it means losing the baby.
TRAITS: hardworking, helpful, nice guy, wants to do things his way.
SUBTEXT: He’s mostly a reactive character.
NEW: Managing Matthew is a bigger problem for Elsie because of his neediness.
DESCRPTION: hard-working, needy, skeptical, good-intentions.
TRAITS: With Matthew’s good intentions to do things his way, it makes Elsie’s job harder navigating her situation to create a family.

• This reply was modified 2 months ago by  Mary Albanese.

[savanna Savanna]

Savanna’s Full-out characters

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is I need to put more forethought into designing a character instead of seeing what shows up on the page, which is the tail wagging the dog approach which emerges from the limits of my imagination.

MOTHER
Current: devoted to child, supportive, open, a bit cold
Subtext: She’s simultaneously child’s worst critic and biggest supporter.
Revised: supportive, devoted, cold, openly embarrassed by child’s choices

LOVE INTEREST
Current: determined, demure, asexual, kind
Subtext: She has a goal and won’t succumb to MAIN’s advances
Revised: asexual, kind, feminist, scarred by past

BEST FRIEND
Current: supportive, helpful, bland
Subtext: He is loyal to MAIN but blows a fuse when they disagree often.
Revised: supportive, helpful, temperamental, physical

[Jeremy Kirk]

“What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is, the characters are in the script and can be explained through several traits”
Title: Jeremy Kirk Full-out Characters for pilot WRATHBONE and scripts ANIMAL CONTROL and TOUGH GUY.

CURRENT:
DESCRIPTION: MARRO WRATHBONE is a barbarian Orc who is harboring a secret.
TRAITS: Strong, Loyal, Street Smart, Brutal
SUBTEXT: Marro is a gay Orc in a society that does not accept such things.
REVISED:
DESCRIPTION: MARRO WRATHBONE has set out on an adventure, but secretly, he is in search of his lost lover.
TRAITS: Strong, Loyal, Secretive, Uncompromising
SUBTEXT: Marro will slaughter anyone and anything in his path to get to the one he loves.
CURRENT:

DESCRIPTION: ORIKTUSS is a crash-landed alien in search of help
TRAITS: Friendly, Loyal, Brave, Fearless
SUBTEXT: Oriktuss crashes on earth and accidentally releases dangerous alien animals set for destruction. He requires the help of two teens if he’s ever going to live down this mistake.
REVISED:
DESCRIPTION: Oriktuss love for earth music causes an accident and propels him and others to hunt for very deadly space animals.
TRAITS: Friendly, Loyal, Bad Ass, Strange
SUBTEXT: Oriktuss does not want to disappoint his father or the family business, so he will stop at nothing to hunt down the renegade aliens.

CURRENT:
DESCRIPTION: GUY MICHAEL STEELE is an aging action star who still thinks he has the chops.
TRAITS: Asshole, Pompous, Arrogant, Aggressive
SUBTEXT: Guy can’t accept he is a washed up has been and flies to Saudi Arabia to make a movie that will change his life.
REVISED:
DESCRIPTION: Guy joins an action movie production in Saudi Arabia but is unaware that he will have to fight for his life on this film.
TRAITS: Still an Asshole, Idiotic, Gullible, Aggressive
SUBTEXT: Guy finds out what he’s truly made of in an action film set to blow away all action films.

• This reply was modified 1 month, 4 weeks ago by  Jeremy Kirk.

[Kimbal Thompson]

Kimbal Thompson Full-out Characters
CREATIVE MASTERY Lesson 11 ASSIGNMENT
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that story essence is amplified by inherently dramatic characters.

The story is about a network newscaster, Frank, that also believes in unidentified aerial phenomenon and occult activities. He tries to keep his news reporting to acceptable community standards and separate from more eccentric beliefs. Traits include: Articulate, Suspicious, Compromising, Secretive. Subtext: has low self-esteem
REVISED: Frank broadcasts a story that a UAP has landed in town: . Traits include: Inarticulate, All-knowing, Uncompromising, Secretive. Strange: he’s the authority!

His young neighbor Bobby doesn’t know much about Frank other than thinking him strange.
Traits include: Naive, Outgoing, Energetic, Spontaneous. Subtext: not easily fooled.

REVISED: Traits include: Believing, Knowing, Hiding, Frozen, Spontaneous. Subtext: scared

Molly, Bobby’s mom, just accepts Frank as somewhat eccentric. Traits include: Loving, Friendly, Empathetic, Gentle. Subtext; normally protective mother.

REVISED: Traits include: Cold, Hostile, Angry, Combative. Subtext; overly protective mother.

• This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by  Kimbal Thompson.

[Xochi Blymyer]

LESSON 11 –

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how changing just a few things when forming the characters will make them more interesting and in turn make the scenes written with them in it more alive. I think I can do better but here is a first pass.

ERIC –
Description: Serious, quiet man in need of full control.
TRAITS: Selfish, Harsh, Entitled, Mysterious
Subtext: Eric is a quiet, keep to himself man who is now focused on only one thing, dealing with his death
REVISED ERIC –
Description: Eric is a serious, quiet man with a secret that could blow up his world
TRAITS: Selfish, Harsh, Entitled, Unpredictable
Subtext: Eric has a secret from his past that he doesn’t want out so he needs to stay in full control or his world will be ruined.

ED –
Description: A goofy, lazy guy with no awareness of who he is
TRAITS: Likeable, Unserious, Careless, Hopeful
Subtext: Ed is a lonely guy trying to get by as best as he can, running his family’s business

ED REVISED –
Description: Ed is a goofy, lazy guy who’s business is going under
TRAITS: Likeable, Careless, Hopeful, Greedy
Subtext: Ed is desperate and will do anything to keep from going under.

JONATHAN –

Description: Local Undertaker loving his job and life
TRAITS: Comedian, Trustworthy, unpredictable, generous
Subtext: Jonathan is keeping his local funeral home afloat and enjoys a drink at the bar with his pals.

JONATHAN REVISED –
Description – Jonathan is bored with his life but proceeds anyway with his undertaking.
TRAITS: Comedian, Trustworthy, Underhanded, Generous
Subtext: Jonathan is not above doing underhanded things to keep his life exciting. Has a secret.

[carl marshall]

Carl Marshall

“What I’ve learned that is improving my writings: reflection and writing during the early morning hours

Logline: Squatters kill the grounds keeper of a cemetery who returns home unexpectedly.
Karen Before: Role: Reluctant leader of the squatters; former addict trying to stay clean.
Core Traits: Resourceful, empathetic, courageous — but guilt-ridden. Motivation: Protect her younger brother and find redemption for a past she’s running from.
Wound: Accidentally caused the overdose death of a close friend she was trying to save.
Intrigue: Secretly took something from the demon’s cabin before the killing—a cursed object she’s hiding from the others.
Transformational Journey (25 words or less):Kara must stop running from her guilt and accept painful truth—only by embracing responsibility can she save others and outwit a demon who wears her shame.
Subtext fault finder.

Karen revised profile:
Role: The reluctant leader of the squatters; a former addict clinging to redemption.
Core Traits: Empathetic, strategic, protective — but emotionally volatile and haunted by shame.
Motivation: Keep her brother alive and untainted by the horrors she unleashed; earn forgiveness from a God she no longer believes is listening.
Wound: Her failed attempt to detox a friend ended in a brutal overdose — in front of the friend’s child.
New Intrigue: The cursed object she stole from the demon’s cabin whispers her own sins back to her. She believes it’s punishing her… but can’t bring herself to let it go.
Subtext: Karen is harsh and fault-finding because she believes she must be perfect to prevent more deaths. Her judgment hides self-loathing.
Dramatic Layer: She suspects the cursed object might resurrect her dead friend — but only if someone else dies in her place.
:
Jim Karen’s brother: before [current profile, description, core traits, subtext]
Role: Kara’s younger brother; comic relief turned conscience of the group.
Core Traits: Clever, loyal, honest — but impulsive.
Motivation: Prove he’s not just a burden; make Kara proud.
Wound: Believes he caused their family’s ruin by getting expelled and landing them on the streets.
Intrigue: Reed sees visions the others can’t—because he’s being marked by the deeper evil the demon was containing.

Jim Karen’s brother: REVISED
Jim – “The Burden Who Broke the Chain”
Role: Karen’s younger brother; the group’s comic relief masking a brewing inner storm.
Core Traits: Witty, devoted, sharp — but deeply insecure and self-destructive.
Motivation: Escape the shadow of Karen’s overprotection and prove he’s more than her guilt project.
Wound: After being expelled, he spiraled into petty crime — which indirectly led to Karen’s husband getting killed in a burglary gone wrong.
New Intrigue: He knows Karen knows the truth, but they’ve never spoken of it. Their dynamic is a powder keg of unspoken blame.
Subtext: His sarcasm masks the fact he’s waiting for punishment — or for the cursed tomb to devour him first.
Dramatic Layer: Jim starts hearing voices calling from beneath the tomb — voices that sound like Karen’s husband.

Richard: Karens boyfriend before
Richard: Karens boyfriend [current profile, description, core traits, subtext]
Role: Former spiritual influencer turned skeptic; most vocal about killing the groundskeeper.
Core Traits: Bold, persuasive, fearless — but manipulative.
Motivation: Reclaim fame and control in a world that discarded her.
Wound: Publicly shamed and “canceled” after a livestreamed spiritual cleansing caused someone’s death.
Intrigue: Secretly performing rituals to steal the demon’s power and bind it to herself, believing she can master it for her own gain
Subtext: control everyone

Richard karens boyfriend REVISED
Role: Karen’s boyfriend; ex-spiritual influencer turned nihilist with a Messiah complex.
Core Traits: Charismatic, calculating, fearless — but consumed by resentment and ego.
Motivation: Harness the dark power of the Blackroot Tomb to reignite his public influence and “fix” the world in his image.
Wound: His failed spiritual livestream ritual ended with a girl’s death — and her family still sends him threats. He claims it was possession… but maybe it was negligence.
New Intrigue: Richard secretly believes the demon is a holy force — misunderstood, unchained by hypocrisy. He wants to make a pact.
Subtext: He pretends to be helping the group survive, but he’s nudging them toward moral collapse to feed the demon.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s: Full-out Characters

What I’ve learned that’s improving my writing is how important every single aspect of our writing (the building blocks) is to the making the story and therefore the script be the best it can be. By using, that is, elevating the traits to be “more dramatic” we can elevate every scene, every character and make it more compelling, more engaging and therefore give it a stronger opportunity for it to succeed in the marketplace.

Current:

Description: JACK is a close family friend, who is trying to hide his hoarding tendencies.

Traits: secretive, unassuming, protective, caring.

Subtext: Jack doesn’t feel he can be in an intimate relationship because they’ll find out about his borderline hoarding.

REVISED:

Traits: Secretive, funny, protective, caring

Subtext: Jack uses humor to keep people at a distance so they don’t learn that he’s a hoarder.

Description: DAN is Abby’s brother and Jack’s best friend, who can’t handle his parent’s aging.

Traits: self-absorbed, risk adverse, clinical, caring.

Subtext: Dan uses his “busyness” to get out of handling the family business.

REVISED:

Traits: self-absorbed, demanding, risk adverse, caring

Subtext: Dan uses his busyness to avoid taking over the family business and doing anything to not rock the boat in his homelife.

Description: FRANK, Abby’s father, has to get help running the family cleaning business after he has a heart attack.

Traits: Secretive, in denial, loving, pushover

Subtext: Frank has been hiding a big secret from his family and uses his illness to get sympathy.

REVISED:

Traits: Secretive, demanding, in denial, loving

Subtext: Frank uses his heart attack to gain sympathy from Abby so that she’ll take over the family business, as he tries to hide a major secret.

• This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.