Lesson 11

[Ian Patrick Williams]

What I learned from doing this assignment is to keep looking for scenes where I can add comedy situations plus physical humor, sight gags and punchlines.

Genre: comedy
Title: Unaccountable
Concept: A mild-mannered accountant must navigate a corrupt hip hop world when a gangsta rapper/ music mogul forcibly recruits him to cook the books of his criminal empire before an upcoming audit.

Scene: Jerry has tracked his crooked ex-partner to the Grand Cayman Islands and forced him to do Slaughter’s books in a way that exposes all his crimes. He waits for the plane that will get him back to Slaughter before the deadline he set. When his plane is cancelled, Jerry recognizes a cartel boss from the major Cayman bank he went to and approaches him.

Comedic Surprise
Jerry offers him Slaughter’s watch in exchange for a ride on his private jet.
Punchline
Jerry quotes Slaughter, calling it a ‘paddock’. The boss corrects him and identifies it as a $50,000 Patek Philippe. Jerry almost chokes.
Forced Union of Incompatibles
The drug boss agrees to the exchange.
Comedic Tragedy
On the plane, Jerry calls old friend Sophia Ma, a Treasury agent, and request she meets him when he lands. Suspicious, the drug boss pulls a gun, takes the phone and demands to know who he’s talking to.
Misinterpretation
Not knowing who it is, she answers “Ma”. The man returns the phone, thinking Jerry is talking with his mother.
Absurd Behavior
The man slaps his two grown sons, asking why they haven’t called THEIR mother like the good son Jerry.
Topper
Jerry tells Ma he’s bringing something for her. The boss slaps his sons again for not bringing something for their mother.
Comedic Tragedy
He grabs the thick envelope as evidence of Jerry’s gift but then questions Jerry as to what it is.
Topper
Jerry answers “A book; she loves reading.” The man shrugs and tells his sons they’re off the hook because their mother doesn’t read. Then he hits them with the envelope saying, “But you should have brought her SOMETHING!” He tosses it back to Jerry, saying “Kids today…”

[Jodie Randisi]

What I learned from this assignment…since my concept is congruent vs. incongruent, I need to take every scene to the limit without judging ideas. If I don’t, I won’t get to the LYAO scenarios. Be ridiculous, NOT predictable.

Concept: Opposites are forced to work together so an industrial psychologist can study them in the cutthroat coastal real estate world of Pamperus Island.

INT. HOTEL LADIES ROOM
We see Lovie in the mirror. She lifts her arms, her tight shirt soaked with perspiration. She tries to dry her arm pits one at a time using the hand blow dryer.
Lovie sniffs. The results aren’t good. She pulls her shirt off, but it gets stuck around her head, arms flap feverishly.
Elizabeth comes in.
LOVIE
Liz? Is that you? Help me out here.
ELIZABETH
What the hell are you doing?
Lovie’s body turns every which way until Elizabeth stops her twirling. Reluctantly, Elizabeth pulls Lovie’s shirt off.
LOVIE
Thanks. I’m glad it was you.
ELIZABETH
I’m not.
Lovie rinses the shirt under the faucet. Squeezes the excess water, then takes the shirt to the dryer.
ELIZABETH
(loudly) Aren’t we in a hotel? Don’t you have other clothes in your room?
LOVIE
How was your meeting with Professor Kirk?
Lovie splashes the water under her armpits, giving herself a bird bath.
ELIZABETH
Great. He thinks I’m great. So great.
LOVIE
Really? He thinks I’m brilliant.
HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER
Kirk walks toward the restrooms. He starts to enter the MEN’S ROOM but stops when he hears Lovie and Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
I think he’s completely bogus.
LOVIE
Well, I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a player in a slump. I’ll do whatever it takes. Bust an ovary if I have to.
Kirk bursts into the ladies room. Lovie forgets she’s standing there in her bra.
KIRK
(looks at Lovie’s chest) Hello, girls. This just came to me. You’re looney. You’re a toon. Together you could be looney tunes.
ELIZABETH
Get the hell out of here!
KIRK
Under one shingle, Smith and Jones, partners selling the Pamperus Island life.
LOVIE AND ELIZABETH
What? Us? Together?
KIRK
The attention of two women is irresistible to most customers.
LOVIE
Oh, yeah, that’ll happen. We’re not even compatible. Sorry, Liz, but you’re a Jones. I’m a Smith. You know what I mean?
ELIZABETH
‘Deed, I do.
LOVIE
I shop at Target, not Talbots.
ELIZABETH
I have people who shop for me.
LOVIE
I have friends, not people.
ELIZABETH
She’s got cellulite!
LOVIE
She’s got a crown and I’m not talking about teeth!
ELIZABETH
She shoots guns.
LOVIE
She shoots one over par.
(to Elizabeth)
I’m assuming.
KIRK
Stop. The two of you just made my case. Is that a Wonder Bra?
Lovie suddenly realizes she’s shirtless. Elizabeth covers Lovie with her Louis Vuitton satchel.
ELIZABETH
Who’s your boss? I’m going to report you.
KIRK
Like I haven’t seen a woman in a bra before. Get over yourself. And I’m your boss for the next six months. It’s settled. We is better than me. Everyone beneflirts.