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Lesson 11
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8 Replies
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Title: Laurie’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that the character traits, while they must be designed to deliver on the concept, must also be inherently dramatic and interesting.
CURRENT
Hannah – a painter who loses her eyesight and her will to live after a mysterious accident
Traits: sarcastic, dramatic, self-absorbed, temperamental
Main Subtext – she wants her life and art to mean something more than making money
Demetri – Hannah’s boyfriend, who manages her life and career
Traits: spontaneous, controlling, caring, confrontational
Main Subtext – he wants to make Hannah a star and his personal cash cow
Erin – a fallen angel
Traits: driven, perceptive, innovative, demonstrative
Main Subtext: she wants a second chance to become a good angel
REVISED
Hannah – a painter who loses her eyesight and her will to live after a mysterious accident blinded her
Traits: expressive, self-absorbed, low self esteem, giving
Main Subtext – she wants her life and art to mean something special but is afraid to assert what she wants
Demetri – Hannah’s boyfriend, who manages her life and career
Traits: spontaneous, calculating, manipulative, withholding
Main Subtext – he wants to make Hannah a star and his personal cash cow
Erin – a fallen angel
Traits: driven, innovative, demonstrative, fearless
Main Subtext: she wants a second chance to become a good angel and will stop at nothing to do so
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Title: Shelley Darling Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how creating an extreme version of a character’s traits in alignment with the subtext enhances the fulfillment and vision of the scene.
CURRENT PROFILE: MEG stirs up a hornet nest, running from a spinal tumor diagnosis while unraveling her dreams.
REVISED PROFILE: MEG, an aspiring journalist hopeless at intimacy, is driven to follow her dreams in pursuit of true love and freedom.
SUBTEXT: Compelled to fulfill her mission, distracted, MEG loses ground when thwarted by her obsession for love.
TRAITS: high-spirited, forthright, indecisive, escapist
Before: free-spirited, stubborn, naïve, motivated
CURRENT PROFILE: CHRISTIAN, a multiethnic water corporation employee struggling with his identity, wrestles with his conflicting sexual desires and religious beliefs.
REVISED PROFILE: CHRISTIAN, an adopted multiethnic water corp underling, wrestles with his conflicting sexual desires and religious beliefs.
SUBTEXT: Christian prides himself as a man of God, though guilt-ridden of being a promiscuous swinger.
TRAITS: Repressed, Dogmatic, Charmer, Virtuous
Before: Repressed, Conflicted, Manly, Ethical
CURRENT PROFILE: Emmy, a passionate water activist and a college friend of Meg’s, is a maternal earth guardian with underlying feelings of being unrecognized and unappreciated.
REVISED PROFILE: EMMY, a zealous water activist committed to a long-time friendship with Meg, comes unglued when confronted by her dysfunctional relationship patterns.
SUBTEXT: Emmy’s trigger temper threatens her friendships whenever she feels unappreciated and unrecognized.
TRAITS: dependable, strong-willed, fanatical, defensive
Before: loyal, dedicated, emotional-reactive, defensive
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Shelley darling.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Andrew’s outfull characters
What I’ve learned is that even nice/good characters can have traits that will heighten the drama.
PENFOLD [story]
Logline: a geeky teenager must overcome the school bully to charm the girl he wants to take to the school dance.
Essence: Someone has to stop the school bully.
Version One:
PENFOLD
DESCRIPTION: A geeky teenager who finds a way to stand up to the bullies.
TRAITS: kind, stable, persistent, ambitious,
SUBTEXT: Peter hides his feelings of inadequacy under his politeness.
GRACIE
DESCRIPTION: An unpretentious girl who has a crush on the school stud.
TRAITS: curious, charming, impulsive, flighty
SUBTEXT: Wants a cool boyfriend to feel better about herself.
BILL
DESCRIPTION: The school bully who feels good about himself when putting others down.
TRAITS: mean, childish, smartass, insecure
SUBTEXT: Puts others down to cover up his insecurity.
PENFOLD
DESCRIPTION: A geeky teenager who’s had enough of being bullied.
TRAITS: principled, vengeful, ambitious, sarcastic
SUBTEXT: Peter hides his anger and frustration under his politeness.
GRACIE
DESCRIPTION: An unpretentious girl who has a crush on the school stud.
TRAITS: curious, flirtatious, driven, flighty
SUBTEXT: Embarrassed about her friendship/attraction to Peter.
BILL
DESCRIPTION: The school bully who is terrified others will find out what he really thinks about himself.
TRAITS: malicious, lewd, smartass, insecure
SUBTEXT: Puts others down to cover up his cowardice.
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Lesson 11 Exercise – James Landers
What I’ve learned…give important characters at least one trait that can add conflict to scenes and charisma to the script. Equally important, give important characters a provocative subtext to help create complexity.
BEFORE
TJ/Mel2
DESCRIPTION: A sober, considerate man who has a burning need to be a woman.
TRAITS: Conservative, kind, loyal, dull.
SUBTEXT: Deep inside TJ’s dull, conservative personality is a flamboyant woman waiting to get out and fly.
Melanie/TJ2
DESCRIPTION: Melanie is a sexy, polyamorous party girl who has transgender urges.
TRAITS: Flamboyant, seductive, smart, kind.
SUBTEXT: Melanie is secretly frustrated at being regarded as a brainless bimbo, especially in her career.
Brenda
DESCRIPTION: Brenda is an attractive young woman carrying her first child and stressed because her husband wants to transition.
TRAITS: Sweet, irritable, intelligent, insecure
SUBTEXT: Brenda feels her husband’s need to be a woman stems from her inadequacy as a woman.
AFTER
TJ/Mel2
DESCRIPTION: TJ is a loving husband who wants to be a woman.
TRAITS: Conscientious, loyal, dull, explosive temper.
SUBTEXT: Inside TJ’s dull, conservative personality is a flamboyant woman waiting to get out and fly.
Melanie/TJ2
DESCRIPTION: Melanie is a polyamorous party girl who wants to be a man.
TRAITS: Flamboyant, seductive, kind, unfaithful
SUBTEXT: Melanie’s sexual behavior is motivated by a need for power and respect.
Brenda
DESCRIPTION: Brenda is a young mother-to-be who feels threatened and vulnerable by her husband’s gender transition.
TRAITS: Sweet, irritable, kind, insecure.
SUBTEXT: Brenda feels inadequate as a woman and has buried her sex drive.
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Audrey Full-Out Characters
What I’ve learned that’s improving my writing is that the clearer the Core Traits are articulated before the writing begins the easier it is for me to see the characters fully. I can even write scenes in my head. This is a total breakthrough for me.
CURRENT
Description: STEPHANIE is a hospitalized psych patient who struggles with reality.
Their Core Traits: Agitated… Caring… Absent-minded… Convincing.
STEPHANIE begins to recall a murder she witnessed by a doctor and reveals the memory to her trusted nurse, who’s that doctor’s wife.
REVISED
Description: STEPHANIE, a hospitalized psych patient, emerges from a coma, struggling with what’s real or imagined.
Core traits: Hostile… Confused… Steadfast… Persuasive.
Subtext: STEPHANIE slowly recalls a murder she witnessed by a prominent doctor, and reveals the memory to her trusted nurse, who’s the wife of the murderer.
CURRENT
Description: AMARA is an investigative reporter who’s focused on getting the story no matter what.
Their Core Traits: Inquisitive… vulnerable… guarded… trusting.
Subtext: Everything AMARA worked for is compromised when she stumbles upon evidence that the man she’s sleeping with has stolen a dead man’s identity.
REVISED
Description: AMARA an ambition investigative reporter driven to succeed at all costs.
Core Traits: Unrelenting… fearless… vulnerable… unsure.
Subtext: AMARA relishes the “takedown “as a reporter until she stumbles upon evidence that the man she’s sleeping with has stolen a dead man’s identity.
CURRENT
Description: MONSIEUR CHVANY has vivid dreams of another place and time.
Core Traits: Friendly… disillusioned… controlling… self-indulgent.
Subtext: MONSIEUR CHVANY visits places he gets in dreams and finds that he’s had a past life.
REVISED
MONSIEUR CHVANY has vivid dreams that he had a past life.
Core Traits: Flamboyant… Avant Garde… Restless… Erudite.
Subtext: MONSIEUR CHVANY cryptic dreams leads him on a hunt for answers when he finds his past life is real.
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Madeleine’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is I really did this exercise very carefully and it took me a very long time – but I think it was so worth it. I will go back to all my figures and do it.
CURRENT profiles
Description: ALEX is a professor for growth economics who wants to avoid dealing with his aging issues.
Traits: self-absorbed, inattentive, dominant, and calculating.
Subtext: Alex hates his birthday because his father’s birthday was on the same day, and he died on his 65. Birthday party.
Description: EVE is Alex’s daughter who thinks it’s her mission to keep the family together.
Traits: possessive, pedantic, vulnerable, and manipulative.
Subtext: Eve wants to have time with her dad – and also wants to keep the family together.
Description: CORRIE is Alex’s wife who plans her professional comeback after years of putting back.
Traits: indecisive, avoiding confrontation, pleasing everybody, and scheming.
Subtext: Corrie experienced poverty when she was a child and does anything to keep her living standard.
REVISED profiles
Description: ALES (64) is a professor for growth economics who wants to become the new dean to prove his credo that everything is possible.
Traits: Inattentive, rational, patronizing, original
Subtext: Alex wants professional success to cover up his issues with aging.
Description: EVE (13) is the teenage daughter who wants to prevent her father from becoming the new dean because she thinks everything was better in the old days.
Traits: Rebellious, enthusiastic, confrontational, sensitive
Subtext: Eve fights every change because she longs for a past harmony.
Description: CORRIE (49) is Alex’s wife who tries to solve their problems by fleeing into dreaming and avoiding reality.
Traits: Avoidant, whitewashing, scheming, understanding
Subtext: Corrie whitewashes problems to cover up her fear from experiencing poverty again.
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Hilton Garrett – Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing:
To be clear about the profile, traits and main subtext of each character. To then be clear about how each of those forms the basis for not only the character but, taken together, also the story. Then to move the story along with each action and dialogue rooted firmly in the profile, traits, and subtext of each character. To see how the profile, traits and subtext of each character interact with those of each of the other characters.
CURRENT
BEN:
CURRENT PROFILE – A forty two year old G.B.I. agent, former MMA champion, loser of the two women who mean most to him, living life as a quest to regain his lost love
CORE TRAITS – Wounded, determined, competent, distrustful
MAIN SUBTEXT – Can’t open up to human connection
ANNA LEE:
CURRENT PROFILE – Thirty-five year old G.B.I. agent who uses martial arts and police skills to catch bad guys
CORE TRAITS – Fighter, collaborative, impatient, loyal
MAIN SUBTEXT – A fierce competitor who conceals her abilities under a feminine persona
MAD DOG:
CURRENT PROFILE – A misguided militia leader bent on taking over the government through violent revolution
CORE TRAITS – Sadistic, violent, idealistic, arrogant
MAIN SUBTEXT – Wants to avenge his dishonorable discharge from the army by toppling the government
REVISED
BEN:
REVISED PROFILE – A wounded man who deals with his pain by pretending it isn’t there; and by fighting and beating up on others
CORE TRAITS – Wounded, competent, distrustful, violent
MAIN SUBTEXT – Lives with a broken heart which he conceals beneath skill and competence
ANNA LEE:
REVISED PROFILE – A killer in sweet clothing
CORE TRAITS –Dedicated, playful, feminine, deadly
MAIN SUBTEXT – More capable than most men; conceals her lethal power under a soft demeanor
MAD DOG:
REVISED PROFILE – The same. I couldn’t come up with anything better. I believe the current profile, traits and subtext of Mad Dog fit the character and the vision of the story
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Title: (Bill Southwell) Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is the characters themselves must be interesting. This comes through subtext, which is an important screenwriting technique.
CURRENT PROFILE 1
DESCRIPTION: SMANTHA, 18, is a High School Senior who writes poetry
TRAITS: Smart, Outgoing, Creative
SUBTEXT: SMANTHA dreams of having her poems published
REVISED PROFILE 1
DESCRIPTION: SMANTHA, 18, is a High School Senior who pushes herself to learn writing techniques
TRAITS: Smart, Outgoing, Creative
SUBTEXT: SMANTHA has many boy friends but hides that she has a progressive debilitating disease
CURRENT PROFILE 2
DESCRIPTION: RUTH, 18, is a tall popular girl
TRAITS: Smart, Shy, Generous
SUBTEXT: SMANTHA hopes to be married and have a family
REVISED PROFILE 2
DESCRIPTION: RUTH, 18, is a tall popular girl
TRAITS: Smart, Shy, Generous
SUBTEXT: SMANTHA is reluctant to be serious with boys because of a hidden assault from a teacher
CURRENT PROFILE 3
DESCRIPTION: GENE, 18, athlete but is the class bully
TRAITS: Arrogant, Needs to be the center of attention, lonely
SUBTEXT: WILLARD always wants the ball so he can show off
REVISED PROFILE 3
DESCRIPTION: GENE, 18, athlete but is the class bully
TRAITS: Arrogant, lonely, needs to be the center of attention
SUBTEXT: WILLARD’s classmates are unaware he deals with an abusive father every day
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