Lesson 11

[Jeanne Sanner]

Act One Turning Point

What I learned from this assignment: Actually what I just realized is that I believe I am way far behind! What I have written is the first scene, not the first Act. I have a lot of work to do! I did enjoy creating the characters and the tension. I did not want to start the scene with everyone already in the restaurant; that would lead to too much dialogue, so that will help me in the future to bring characters in slowly.

Dinner is done. People have changed seats and are enjoying desert. Andrea is talking with Laura. Justin is getting to know Matt, and Brad and Darin are talking with each other.

LAURA

Oh, I forgot. I picked up the mail on the way out, and guess what.

ANDREA

What? What?

Laura is pulling mail out of her purse.

LAURA

There were lots of card-sized envelopes in there!

Andrea excitedly shares several cards with Laura and suddenly stops.

ANDREA

Oh, shit! That son-of-a bitch. I told him never to contact me again. Son-of-a-bitch!

Everyone grows quiet. Matt looks totally confused looking at Darin for a clue. Darin shakes his head “no” to Matt, and mouths, “Later.” Matt nods.

BRAD

(Intoxicated)

Gee, that card couldn’t be from your Daddy, could it?

DARIN

(Leaning in to Brad, quietly begging)

Let it go, Brad.

ANDREA

(Glaring at Brad; faking French accent)

“Wee, Wee, my sewer, however did you know?”

LAURA

(Getting up quickly)

You know what? I’ve gotta wash my hands and freshin’ up a bit. Come with me Andi.

Laura practically pulls Andrea out of her chair and takes her to the girl’s room.

INT. LADIE’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

LAURA

(She grabs Andrea’s arm)

What in the hell is the matter with you girl?

ANDREA

(Pulling away)

You know how I feel about my father!

LAURA

I’m not talking about your father. I’m talking about you and Justin.

ANDREA

The truth? He’s just like my father. For some reason he hates me, and I don’t know why, and I hate his arrogance and his attacks.

LAURA

Well, just cool it. Okay? We’re here to celebrate for pity sakes.

ANDREA

What am I supposed to do?

LAURA

Ignore him! Period, Andi. Now let’s get back to havin’ some fun.

Girls return to the table. It is obvious, Darin is not too happy with Brad and neither is Justin. Matt just watches.

BRAD

(Slurring some of his words)

I know I’m gonna be in deep shit, but I’m gonna say it anyway!

Darin turns away, Justin stands up. Laura sits, defeated. Matt stares. Andrea stays standing. Brad stays sitting.

BRAD

I’m sick and tired of your little self-pity tantrums whenever the topic of your father comes up. What did he do, call you chubby when you were little, slap your little bottom when you were bad?

Andrea sits, takes a sip of her drink, and tries to ignore him.

BRAD

My daddy bolted when I was three, but you don’t hear me going on and on about what a bastard he was.

JUSTIN

Brad, I think you’ve made your point. We all have grievances, but some are more traumatic than others.

BRAD

Oh traumatic, how dramatic. And exactly how much trauma did little miss drama queen experience.

JUSTIN

It’s none of your business.

BRAD

Well, she always makes it our business, doesn’t she.

ANDREA

Okay. I’ll tell you what he did. Besides beating me with a razor strop ‘til I had welts from two, belting me across the face so hard I fell off the kitchen chair, telling me I’m no good for anyone or anything and…

Laura and Darin know these events; no one else does.

Andrea pauses to decide if she can reveal the worst part.

ANDREA

And he, which NOBODY KNOWS, sexually abused me for years. I guess I was good enough for that.

Justin stands up. Laura slumps in disbelief. Brad doesn’t move. Matt is embarrassed. Darin is in shock.

I’m soooooo sorry my anger, and hurt, and shame, put me on edge whenever I hear his name. I’m done here.

Andrea grabs purse, runs out. Laura gets up. Darin goes after Andrea. Justin signals both to sit, he runs after her. Brad takes another drink. Matt just watches.

DARIN

I’m done. Come on Brad, I’m driving.

They exit. Laura moves next to Matt, puts her hand on Matt’s arm.

LAURA

Well Matt, I’m so sorry I didn’t get a chance to know you better tonight.

As Laura reaches for her purse, she is turned away from Matt.

MATT

(Pause. Looking down)

Cops killed my brother right in front of me. They thought he was some other guy.

Laura stares at Matt. Gets up. Matt gets up. Laura holds Matt a long time.

LAURA

I’ll take you home.

[Laurie Reilly]

Laurie- What I learned in this assignment was that even though there are a few scenes I had not written yet that are leading in to the turning point scene, I was able to still, fairly quickly draft this scene, only using a few placeholders.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT OUTLINE

Beginning- Annie sees a memory from before the accident

Middle-Annie is incredibly happy to be with Joe.

End-Her figure merges with the memory and solidifies. Annie stays in the past

INT. ALTERED STATE, CONT.

Annie returns from the scene with her mother, looking sad.

SARITA

You knew as an adult that your mother had a mental illness. But as Annie the child, the experience as you lived it, you wanted to make her better.

ANNIE-60

When I was a girl, all those times she- she, went off somewhere I couldn’t see, I couldn’t go to with her, I would think if only I had done something different. It wouldn’t have set her off. If I had made a different choice.

SARITA

That thought, that idea has never left you.

ANNIE-60

That day has always stuck in my mind. It got worse, a lot worse, but when I was in that memory I felt myself wanting to leave it, and then I was right back here.

SARITA

Yes. You were aligned in body, mind and heart. Little Annie understood at last, so you left that memory.

ANNIE-60

Is that what this is all about? Coming to some kind of understanding about my life?

SARITA

Not necessarily. Not every moment in life is a lesson, a karma. There are many, many perfectly ordinary days that are just, perfect, in their own way.

ANNIE-60

Just as it should be? Please, can I visit one of those days?

Sarita looks pensive, studying Annie as if she is determining if she is ready for something. Sarita decides, nods, then reaches her hand to the stream of memories again and stops at one scene. Annie observes, a smile growing across her face. She reaches her hand in to the memory and dissolves into Annie at 35.

INT. ANNIE AND JOE’S CABIN, KITCHEN FALL 1992

Annie-60 comes into her 35 year old self as she is in the kitchen cooking. As before, her altered self appears almost translucently overlayed over Annie-35 so she is a little grainy and glowing. Altered Annie-35 has paused in the making of a pie to look out the kitchen window. On the window sill is the spider plant.

Erin-10 and Hunter-8 are playing soccer against one another in the backyard They have set up small piles of leaves as teammates/obstacles they have to maneuver around. Their dog, SHILOH, is supposed to be the goalie, guarding a small, crooked portable net. Lots of laughter and shouting. Erin is calling out a play by play (PLACEHOLDER).

Altered Annie-35 is visibly happy to relieve this memory as she observes all, even the old familiar items like the splattered cookbook propped open, the old pie pan, etc.

Shiloh scratches at the back door and Altered Annie-35 opens it. Annie-60 tries to come out of her self to bend down and pet her pup, and we see the motion of translucent Annie-60 stretch briefly to hug her dog, but she has no mass and is pulled back into Annie-35, who continues her normal routine.

ALTERED ANNIE-35

Dinner time for the pup?

Altered Annie-35 scoops out dog food for Shiloh as usual.

ALTERED ANNIE-35

Shiloh, sit. Oh your such a good girl.

She places her bowl down, scratches her head, and returns to cooking, pausing to check on the kids, now practicing cart wheels.

The sound of a truck pulling up is audible. Altered Annie-35 glances at the time, smiles and hurries up her cooking. But Annie-60 keeps trying to turn her translucent head to look out the window. Sure enough, Joe has headed to the backyard first. Annie-60, strains to watch through the window.

ERIN-10

Daddeeey!

JOE-35

Hi, sweetie, how was school?

Joe bends over to hug Erin and Hunter immediately jumps on his back. Everyone talks at once.

JOE-35

That’s great Erin, I can’t wait to see it. In a bit buddy, let me go say hello to Mom and see if dinner is ready.

Again Annie-60’s translucent figure strains to turn towards the back door and the sound of Joe approaching as Altered-Annie-35 adds the final touch to something on the stove. Just as Joe opens the back door, Shiloh barks in excitement and jumps on the door, shutting it again. Joe laughs, a memorable deep laugh. Annie-60’s translucent figure reacts to the sound. Joe finally gets the door open and kneels to greet the very excited dog.

JOE-35

Alright girl, did you miss me, I’m right here. That’s a good girl, settle.

He rises and steps towards Altered Annie-35 who half turns from the stove, spoon in hand.

ALTERED ANNIE-35

Such a popular guy. I’m always last in the line of your admirers.

Joe reaches over to give her a one armed hug and kiss on the cheek.

JOE-35

Awe, you know you’re first with me.

ALTERED ANNIE-35

Well, I was the original member of the Joe Ryan fan club.

Annie-60’s translucent figure pulls out of Altered Annie-35 and wraps both arms around Joe’s neck and buries her face in his neck. Slowly Annie’s translucent figure pulls Altered Annie-35 into her, instead of the other way around, and the two figures merge and begin to solidify until Annie-35 is no longer grainy and glowing and they are one. She is stunned.

Annie pulls back and looks at her hands, no longer glowing. Shaking, she reaches up and cups his face in her hands and looks incredulously into his eyes.

ANNIE-35

(whispers)

I, I can feel you, I can touch you.

She kisses him quick, but hard.

ANNIE-35

Oh Joe, I’ve missed you so, so much.

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Turning Point 1 Scene

What I learned doing this assignment: Requirement of a turning point, that you have to have them face the fear they have been avoiding.

INT. ALO’S HOME – DAY

TE #2 Time is up. Alo receives Armann’s letter stating all purple must be returned to the Hedeon tribe or else they will be sought out and killed. Alo gives Jabe the choice to stay with the Dorek or leave and join the Hedeon. Jabe wants to stay with the Dorek and lay low. Jabe turns red as Alo accuses him of refusing to make a decision that would better himself. Jabe replies that Alo is “not his mother” and stalks off.

BEGINNING: Alo invites Jabe to sit. Reads him Armann’s letter. States he has a choice to make.

MIDDLE: Alo forces him to commit to one choice or another. Commit to staying with the Dorek or leave to join the Hedeon.

END: Jabe decides. Leaves the Dorek.

INT. ALO’S HOME – DAY

Alo is seated in a comfortable chair, in a comfortable room, holds a letter. Jabe stands before him, ill at ease.

JABE

You wanted to see me?

ALO

Sit. Please. I need to share something with you.

Jabe attempts to sit in a stuffed chair that matches Alo’s. The chair is too small for his large frame. He moves over to a straight back chair, no arms.

JABE

Don’t quite fit here.

ALO

But you are here. Is there another place you would seek?

JABE

I’ve asked. Everybody. It’s a running joke.

Jabe sings a ditty to the tune “Do you know the way to San Jose.”

JABE

Do you know the way to L.A.?

He stops abruptly when Alo doesn’t respond.

JABE

Had to be there, I guess.

Alo picks up the letter.

ALO

Would you like to hear?

JABE

Sure, I mean, unless it’s a map or something. Then I’d like to see it.

Alo ignores the comment. Reads from the letter.

ALO

All purple are required to return to the Hedeon sector. We will not have our own indoctrinated by your radical ways. By actively attempting to convert our young, you have given us no choice. Consider this warning seriously. All purple have two days to comply. Any above the age of 16 that have not taken residence in the Hedeon sector will be killed on sight.

Jabe shrugs.

JABE

I’m not from here, they don’t mean me.

Alo puts the letter aside. His aura intensifies.

ALO

Jabe, you are purple. You must change or leave. No choice is a choice.

Jabe stands, paces.

JABE

You can’t force me to be something I’m not. Don’t you think I would love to go back to my home? This place, this isn’t where I belong. I don’t belong with the Hedeon either.

ALO

The purple will never feel at home. Not until they accept the Orb. Then they will realize Taaba’s true purpose for their lives.

Jabe’s aura turns red.

JABE

Who said anything about the Orb? We’re not talking about the Orb! Are you kicking me out unless I accept the Orb? Is this what this is about?

ALO

This is about you, Jabe. Not wanting to choose. Not wanting to change, even if would benefit you.

JABE

You are not my mother!

Alo doesn’t understand this comment.

ALO

Nor am I Taaba. He requires you to choose.

JABE

I don’t know Taaba. He doesn’t know me. I’m not even sure there is a Taaba!

The Orb floats gently into the room. Jabe stares at it.

JABE

Is that…

ALO

…the Orb? Do you see it?

Jabe stares at the floating energy ball.

JABE

Don’t you?

ALO

I have already accepted the Orb. I feel the presence inside. If you see the Orb, then this is your opportunity to choose.

Jabe hesitates, rubs his chest but doesn’t reach out. He breaks away from the vision of the Orb, looks at the floor as his aura turns yellow. The Orb disappears.

JABE

I don’t see anything. I don’t feel anything. I don’t want to leave here if I can’t go back to Whittier, or at least to the United States.

Jabe realizes he never asked anyone about the U.S. He turns purple and lifts his head.

JABE

You gotta know where the United States is?

Alo sadly shakes his head.

ALO

You may stay here. I cannot guarantee your safety, however.

Jabe’s aura turns back to red.

JABE

So, you tell me I have a choice, but I really don’t do I? OK, Mother. I’m off to med school.

Jabe stalks out of the room.

[Ed Preston]

Assignment 11: Act 1 Turning Point

What I learned was, this is harder than it looks. I think that breaking these lessons down into small steps forces us to step back from the wordsmithing urge, but it will take PRACTICE. I also learned that posting a cut-and-paste document removes all tabs, so don’t bother trying to make it look like a real script.

Outline and write Act 1 Turning Point

Outline:

INT. EDDIE’S PAWN SHOP, GLOUCESTER, MA, LATE MORNING

BEGINNING: Dave walks in with the engagement ring and his helmet. Puts them on the counter in front of the owner, EDDIE, a retired cop and keen judge of human nature.

MIDDLE: Eddie knows about Dave’s crash from the local cops. They have a conversation. The helmet’s not worth much, but the ring is valuable.

END: Eddie plays a hunch and takes Dave out back and whips the cover off a stunning 1975 Moto Guzzi Eldorado touring motorcycle. Dave’s eyebrows go up.

EXT. ROUTE 2, WESTERN MASS, 5 DAYS LATER, MID-MORNING, CLEAR, NO TRAFFIC

BEGINNING: A lone motorcycle approaches.

MIDDLE: As it gets close we see it’s Dave on the Moto Guzzi. A triumphant or thoughtful breakup song, like the Eagles “Already Gone” or Peter, Paul & Marys’ “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” starts playing in the background.

END: Dave stands on the pegs, arms out as if flying, sits right back down.

SCRIPT:

INT. EDDIE’S PAWN SHOP, GLOUCESTER, MA, MID-MORNING, SUNNY

Dave enters. Behind the counter is EDDIE, a retired cop and keen judge of human nature. Dave puts his helmet and the engagement ring on the glass countertop.

EDDIE

You’re the kid who crashed your, Kawasaki was it? on 128 the

other day? Glad to see you’re ok. Cops told me they thought it

was a miracle.

DAVE

Something like that maybe. It was nothing I did, I know that.

I was nuts at the time.

EDDIE

(picks up the ring)

This have anything to do with it?

DAVE

Good guess.

EDDIE

Pawn it or sell it? (pulls out a jewelers loupe and examines it)

DAVE

What’s the difference?

EDDIE

You pawn it, I lend you money and hold the ring as collateral.

You pay back the money in time, you get it back. You sell it, I

give you money and I own it. I can give you more if you sell it.

DAVE

I never want to see it again, so I guess I want to sell it. What

about the helmet, what can I get for it? There’s no cooties in

it or nothing.

EDDIE

You through riding?

DAVE

Haven’t decided.

EDDIE

Then hold on to it. It’s a nice helmet and I couldn’t give you half

what you paid for it. (a beat) There’s one other possibility.

DAVE

What?

EDDIE

Follow me.

Eddie leads Dave past rows of shelves filled with all manner of fascinating items, then into a large room with a garage door at the opposite end. He stops at a big something under a tarp that drapes all the way to the floor. Eddie stops.

EDDIE

A trade…

In a single flamboyant gesture, he sweeps the tarp off, revealing a flawlessly restored 1975 Moto Guzzi Eldorado.

Dave’s eyebrows rise in amazement and admiration.

EXT. MA ROUTE 2W, 2MI TO NY, MID-MORNING, SUNNY NO TRAFFIC

A lone motorcycle approaches. It’s Dave on the Moto Guzzi. A breakup song, like the Eagles “Already Gone” or Peter, Paul & Marys’ “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” starts playing in the background. Dave is singing along, then impulsively stands on the pegs, arms out as if flying…

DAVE

Oops, no more of that foolishness.

Dave sits back down, resumes singing.