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Lesson 11
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ASSIGNMENT
Subject line: Pat’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is I changed what my turning point was.
1.Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
1. An envelope arrive in the mail with a law firm return address.
2. On opening the envelope it’s divorce papers.
3. Hank smacks his head with the envelope and throws in the trash.
2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
Outline
EXT. HANKS HOME/MAILBOX – DAY
Hank removes a vanilla envelope from his mailbox. It’s from a law firm.
HANK
Have they found me out already?
INT. HANKS HOME/KITCHEN – DAY
Hank opens the envelope in his kitchen.
It’s the final papers to sign for his divorce.
He snacks his head with the envelope. Discussed with himself
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Tasha’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Make sure the first Turning Point locks the main character into the transformational journey.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany arrives at the restaurant and is shown to a table.
Middle: Brad is waiting for her. He wants to tell her in person that he can’t date her. She asks him why, but he seems jumpy.
End: A fork floats up to his head and Bethany grabs it. She excuses herself to the bathroom and asks him to stay so she can explain.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Beginning:Bethany tells whatever is trying to mess up her date to back off.
Middle:She says she’s going to find a Ouija board and evoke whatever the equivalent is of a restraining order in the spiritual world.
End: She looks up a prayer to say but finds a more specific protection spell and says it. Seems to do the trick.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany exits the bathroom physically tore up a bit.
Middle: She finds the table empty.
End: The Maitre’D tells her that he date left and says he doesn’t want her to try and contact him again and to please leave bc she has disturbed the rest of the diners.
Bethany vows to herself that she’s not going to let this shit happen again.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Bethany pulls up to the curb across the street from the church.
Middle: She watches Deacon Anders greet two people on the steps of the church gestures that they go inside.
End: He looks up and sees Bethany in her car across the street. She stares at him blankly and then drives off.
2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany arrives at the restaurant and she looks great. Her hair and make-up is perfect. Her dress is sexy but tasteful. A waiter shows her to an intimate little table for two. She takes a seat and looks over the wine menu.
Brad arrives in sweatpants and a moth-eaten t-shirt with a faded vintage soda logo on it. Looking the worse for wear, he sits down opposite her.
Bethany is shocked to see him
BETHANY
Brad!
Bethany reaches for him. He jerks back. Very jumpy.
Bethany pulls back.
BETHANY
Is everything okay.?
BRAD
I can’t have dinner with you.
BETHANY
You showed up to the restaurant to say you can’t have dinner with me?
BRAD
I’m sorry. I thought the least I could do was tell you in person.
BETHANY
But why?
BRAD
Something happened.
BETHANY
What?
BRAD
Something I can’t explain. And then I was shown something. Oh God, Bethany! I had no idea.
BETHANY
What are you talking about Brad?
Bethany jumps up interrupting her own question.
A fork levitates and hovers right by Brads head. He doesn’t see it.
It swings away from him head and then swings quickly towards his temple, but Bethany jumps up to her feet and grabs it before it pierces him.
Brad looks at her and then turn to look at her hand struggling to hold back a fork mere inches from his head.
BETHANY
I’ll be right back. Please don’t leave.
Bethany heads for the bathroom pulling the fork along with her.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany marches into the bathroom and slams the fork down on the counter of the bathroom sink.
She grips the edge of the counter and shakes with anger.
BETHANY
A fork?
She snatches the fork from the counter.
BETHANY
A FORK!
She waves it around menacingly.
BETHANY
You better back off!
She looks around her.
BETHANY
I swear! If you don’t leave us alone, I’ll get a Ouija board or something and chase your ass down! I’ll slap a paranormal restraining order on you so hard you won’t know who’s the poltergeist!
An unseen force slams her against the bathroom wall and pins her. One cheek is squeezed against the wall as an invisible force presses her face hard against the wall’s surface.
She squirms and twists her face free.
BETHANY
Our father who arts in Heaven–
Her face is slammed against the wall again.
She closes her eyes and repeats a barely audible phrase over and over again.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
Slowly she is released from the wall. She pulls her phone out and does a quick internet search as she backs away from the wall and towards the entrance of the bathroom.
She finds a prayer and starts to recite.
BETHANY
[Insert New Age Prayer]
The unseen force tries to rip her phone from her hands but she holds onto it and continues to read the prayer off it.
She finishes the prayer and the unseen force releases her.
She looks around.
BETHANY
Are you here?
All is quiet.
BETHANY
Are you here?
Silence.
BETHANY
You better stay gone.
She leaves the bathroom.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany exits the bathroom and sees that Brad is still in his chair, his back to her. She walks stiffly towards him despite her best attempts to mask her pain and walk normally. Her left arm hangs at an abnormal angle.
She sits down in her chair and is surprised to see that it isn’t Brad sitting across from her. It’s the maitre’d.
Two men step to either side of her.
MAITRE’D
I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. If you go quietly, we won’t charge you for any damages done to the bathroom. But for the safety of our patrons and for their peace of mind these men will escort you out.
Bethany stands up.
BETHANY
Did the man who was sitting say anything before he left?
MAITRE’D
He asked me to tell you not to contact him again.
Bethany signs heavily.
BETHANY
This shit has got to end.
She turns around and walks out of the restaurant flanked on either side by the two men.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany pulls up to the curb across the street from the church.
She watches Deacon Anders warmly greet two people on the front steps. He gestures for them to go inside and watches after them as they walk up the rest of the steps and disappear into the church.
Then he turns to face the street and looks directly at Bethany.
She stares at him blankly and then drives off.
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H. Vince’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023
Lesson 11: Act 1 Turning Point
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
The inciting incident is the point of no return that forces everything to move forward.
Act 1:
Turning Point:
EXT. MECHANIC SHOP – DAY
Beginning: VICTOR shows up to the mechanic shop
Middle: Mechanic goes live on social media saying he is in danger.
End: VICTOR tries to tell the mechanic that it was a joke.
EXT MECHANIC SHOP – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Beginning: Just then a car pulls up on the side of the road and some guys get out.
Middle: Some random guys hassle VICTOR.
End: Something hits the phone. Live feed gets cut. Everything goes black.
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ACT I TURNING POINT MIDWAY SCENES THE DESERT SONGS OF ANA VICTORIA
GOAL 10 -13 PAGES MIDWAY ACT 1
INT. GUEST HOUSE – DAY
TE 3
(AV and AL find a guest house that will rent them a large room.)
ANA VICTORIA
This place charges like its Miami. God, we smell like we’re at heaven’s gate.
ALEJANDRO
I will take care of it. Just sit and rest with the children.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I let you have a cot. One of the children can sleep there. If you are interested, there are jobs picking asparagus at a local farm. The truck comes in and picks people up and brings them back to town. There are also strawberries, but they aren’t coming this week.
ALEJANDRO
We are not looking for fieldwork.
(GUEST HOUSE OWNER takes his credit card. She gives him a card to sign that records his permanent address. He fills in fake information and smears it lightly with his finger.)
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
Well, our local desert attracts many. I like to share information with newcomers. Laundry is extra. It looks like everyone needs to settle in. If you leave your clothes in the basket, we can get them back to you by the end of the day. I’ll take a credit card. Don’t try to use the shower outside of the posted hours. We turn off the valve. It should remain closed. Should I leave the charges on this card/ Do you want to leave a second number, or any cash to put in the safe?
ALEJANDRO
The card should be enough for a couple of days. I don’t need the safe. A meal, water, laundry, shower. Yes, okay. Please make sure my wife and children get a bottle of water too. I have some directions to meet someone on business. He pulls a tiny sheet of folded paper out of his pocket. What is the best way to this place?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
No one would advise a man to walk into the desert alone. Are you walking?
ALEJANDRO
Yes.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
You don’t want a ride?
ALEJANDRO
I’m okay. I am meeting someone who works out on a farm.
GUEST HOUSE WOMAN
You have a connection already? But I know who hires. They prefer people who have a reference here. Just ask if your ‘connection’ doesn’t get you a job.
ALEJANDRO
Thank you. I am just looking around.
(The GUEST HOUSE WOMAN takes a pencil and draws on the back of the paper.)
GUEST HOUSE WOMAN
Just like a tourist.
FADE.
INT. GUEST HOUSE ROOM – AFTERNOON
ANA VICTORIA
It feels good to let the children sleep in. They both are ill after the trip. I need to stay with them and let them sleep. They are dehydrated.
(AV looks at her children, worried.)
ALEJANDRO
I am going out to the desert to meet someone who can show me the border. It’s only 40 miles north but The roads are watched. There are trucks that go to and from the farms. Their employees know the trails. They sometimes just take deliveries straight across the desert. I could hitch a ride and walk the last few miles to see it.
ANA VICTORIA
To save time and money?
ALEJANDRO
That is what I was told. I promised to pay to get us on a truck that will follow an old trail, but I can see if we could just go. The driver will let us off at a place where a church group leaves food and water for border crossers. These men have information about when the group plans to go out. The money is gone. I still owe them more.
ANA VICTORIA
Are you sure you can trust your informant? How much did you agree to pay?
ALEJANDRO
We made it this far. I had to pay for the train, food, water. We don’t want to stay here long, so I want to get moving while people still remember me. Don’t accept any rides from the manager of this place. She feeds people to the farms. They don’t care who you are. This sun can kill you. Just wait for me. I should be back tonight or no later than tomorrow morning.
ANA VICTORIA cries.
ALEJANDRO
You are my good girl. I will be right back in a few hours.
EXT. GUEST HOUSE YARD
(As ALEJANDRO leaves, he does not notice that he is being watched.)
INT. GUEST HOUSE – MORNING
TE 4
ANA VICTORIA
Your father is out there somewhere. I want to get out of here. I didn’t like this woman’s mole. Gael, eat the left over tortillas.
GAEL
I miss your mole. I did eat the tortillas. Carmina did not want to eat hers, so I ate it.
CARMINA
-baby talking to herself-
ANA VICTORIA
I don’t want to leave you here alone to go out and find him.
GAEL
Lay down, you need to rest too. There is more water in the bottle.
ANA VICTORIA
Thank you, Gael. Can you watch Carmina for a few minutes? Don’t let her fall on the floor.
(AV leaves the room.)
EXT. GUEST HOUSE YARD – MORNING
There is some commotion outside.
ANA VICTORIA
What is going on?
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I am sorry. Your husband was found dead in the desert by the police. The truck is coming down main street. The police called me to ask if he was staying here.
ANA VICTORIA
Oh, no!
ENTER A LOCAL POLICE OFFICER. THE GUEST HOUSE OWNER POINTS AT ANA VICTORIA WHO IS MUTE WITH SHOCK AND FEAR OF THE OFFICER.
OFFICER
Senora, could you come outside and identify this body? I took his identification for the records.
OFFICER HANDS ANA VICTORIA ALEJANDRO’S BACKPACK. ANA VICTORIA FOLLOWS THE OFFICER OUTSIDE. THERE IS A TRUCK WAITING WITH ALEJANDRO’S BODY. She nods yes, it is her husband.
AV RETURNS TO THE GUEST HOUSE OWNER WITH THE OFFICER.
OFFICER
This was quick, so you don’t have to go down to the morgue and leave the children. Are both of the children by the deceased?
ANA VICTORIA knods yes.
Gael and Carmina.
OFFICER
We have tried to do things here to accommodate the large number of visitors who arrive in Nogales every day. The older offices are overwhelmed with people seeking help or information. So the owner here can help you with funeral arrangements. As I mentioned at the identification, it looks like he had a heart attack from heat stroke in the desert. It’s not a suspicious case. Even experienced people can misjudge the effects of the heat.
ANA VICTORIA
He said that he wanted to see the border I don’t know who he was meeting out there.
OFFICER
Was he trying to cross by himself? Did he plan to meet someone?
OFFICER looks at ANA VICTORIA hard, to see if she is hiding information.
ANA VICTORIA
He said he was catching a ride with a local. He made some arrangements to talk to people. I don’t know who he spoke with.
OFFICER
Was your husband leaving you in Nogales? When you start the 40 mile walk north, you can’t come back.
He must have known someone with connections.
ANA VICTORIA
Alejandro was completely in charge. I just trusted my husband. We intended to go north together. He was meeting someone, a connection, and he wanted to see the border.
OFFICER
Who did he speak with? Did you see anyone? Did you make the deal with him?
ANA VICTORIA
No, he preferred that his wife stay home. I never met anyone or even heard anything on the phone.
OFFICER
Your husband could have been making a delivery. Drugs? Did he do drugs? Did you ever see drugs in his possession?
ANA VICTORIA
No, Alejandro did not use drugs. He did not sell drugs. I never saw drugs in his possession. He was a good Catholic. He was a good husband. He loved his children.
OFFICER
I want to tell you something. I know children. Many children die because their parents wanted to go to the United States. One or the other or both want to cross that border more than they want to go on raising a child. And I hate every dead child in our graveyard because their souls cannot rest. They are far from home. Their families do not know where they are. The lines are broken. One day they feel the little body go limp. Some go on because they cannot stop to bury their own hearts.
OFFICER STOPS TO RETRIEVE A HANDKERCHIEF. HE WIPES HIS BROW. THE OFFICER SEEMS TO BE ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. ANA IS UNCERTAIN WHAT SHE CAN SAY, SO SHE WAITS FOR HIM TO SPEAK AGAIN.
THE GUEST HOUSE OWNER BRINGS HIM A COLD BEER. HE OPENS IT AND TAKES A SWALLOW.
OFFICER
Somewhere in the United States there is some bitch who dropped her child. Or a husband who pulled himself over and not the child. Or they were strong enough to survive the sun and dehydration but their babies, their toddlers, could not survive such abuse. Abuse they subjected that child to because they wanted to cross. They needed to cross. All such parents cross into hell. That is just my opinion. There are stories about those who crossed into the United States. But their children were taken away, into prison camps. Some are placed with American parents. They cannot be reunited. The US government steals your children and places them – for their own protection- in prison, and then in some stranger’s home.
ANA VICTORIA
Alejandro would never abandon us. We would never abandon our children.
OFFICER PAUSES AGAIN AND LOOKS TIRED.
OFFICER
You are from the south. People pour off that train. This is not your desert. I’m tired of foreign spirits filling the desert at night.
ANA VICTORIA
I beg your forgiveness, sir. My husband paid for his ignorance with his life.
OFFICER
Don’t try to cross the desert again. Remember what happened to your husband. Go back to wherever you came from and make peace. Or move to the other side of Mexico. But don’t kill your family.
ANA VICTORIA
My husband said that he wanted to look at the border. He did not say he was going to try to cross it. He would not leave me and the children.
OFFICER
The gangs completely own that desert. No independent crossers are welcome unless they pay first.
The Sonoran desert is beautiful, but it is hard to cross unless you have the stars and a gps. The border is being covered in razor wire that cuts into skin. There are only a few coyotes who know old trails and how to avoid or lift the hazards they placed.
OFFICER SIGHS AS HE OBSERVES ANA VICTORIA LOOKS LIKE SHE IS GOING TO COLLAPSE. HE ASKS THE OWNER FOR A BOTTLE OF WATER AND PAYS FOR IT. HE HANDS IT TO AV. SHE DRINKS IT DOWN. SHE STARTS CRYING BUT STOPS TO FINISH THE WATER. IT CALMS HER.
ANA VICTORIA
I needed that, thank you.
OFFICER
In Tijuana they try to rush the drainage ditch that used to be a river. The slum grows into the sewer pipes. They die quickly there. In Cuidad Juarez there are tunnels and even people who fly over, but everything is fixed by organized criminals. If your husband contacted professionals, they would demand cash up front. It looks like he was depending on his savings account debit card and a credit card on your trip. He was better off than many people who come here with the same hope.
ANA VICTORIA
What happens to the people who stay here? Or who can’t leave?
.
OFFICER
They go out to the asparagus fields to make their rent. They keep their plans and dream of crossing the border into the United States. But the United States of Mexico needs pickers. Fruit, strawberries. Tenders and choppers. The market will catch up with you over the cost of living. Your little boy is almost tall enough to pick. Don’t think of going out and walking the streets trying to find another husband. That is a fast way to get your throat cut.
ANA VICTORIA
My husband was employed. We have no work experience.
OFFICER
I can ask the cantina owners if they need a waitress. You can ask at the door about doing laundry. Or you could try to go back to where you came from. If you have relatives, I would try to contact them to see if they can help.
ANA VICTORIA
I wanted to call my sister.
OFFICER
I hope you find what you need. I will look in here in a couple of days.
INT. GUESTHOUSE – AFTERNOON
ANA VICTORIA
Why did he take his backpack? Did he have something in there? Hidden money? Something he was going to sell to get us a ride.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
I am sorry for your loss. We are willing to help you bury your husband. I am familiar with the arrangements. We have a cemetery run by the church. Its consecrated ground. The priest gives a nice prayer. You can hire mourners if you like. They are willing to bury your husband on credit, but this will increase your debt. I have a list of prices here. Travelers sometimes need these services in Nogales. I do not mean to insult you, but if you are not religious, or you have no money, there is a paid cremation service and a public service that burns the body with gasoline.
ANA VICTORIA
Just bury him. Bury my heart in the church yard. I can’t afford a full funeral. I will find a way to pay it off.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
Very well. All of that will exhaust the card he has on file with us. Your husband had good credit. I see you are co-owner of the account. You will need to contact your creditors and bank to update their records. I can’t take another card until you straighten that out.
ANA VICTORIA
Ask the priest to pray for him.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
The officer likes you. He bought you dinner and water. I did not mention it to the Officer. Your husband let me in on something. Did your husband tell you about his good luck? He did business with some men who do a run to Arizona. I think they work in the fruit and vegetable industry. I never met any of his contacts. Of course, this is a guest house, not a rental apartment. We have a limit on how long you can stay, so he must have made a deal to move on. They will come here looking for all of you. I am sure they will take you without your husband.
ANA VICTORIA
I have to lay down and rest. I am exhausted.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
Of course, m’am. We do have chicken for dinner later. I will comp your meal today out of respect for your loss.
ANA VICTORIA
Thank you.
Ana Victoria feels completely alone. Night if falling on the broiling desert but there is a whisp of blowing air. The air caresses her as she misses Alejandro.
Carmina is ill. AV nurses her child stroking her forehead.
GAEL
When is my father coming back?
ANA VICTORIA
Your father had to do some business out in the desert. Don’t think about him now. We may have to travel on and meet him later. Carmina, sit up so that I can change your shirt. The woman brough the laundry back.
GAEL
No train.
ANA VICTORIA
No, son. No trains. Come babies, we need to wash.
INT. GUEST HOUSE – EVENING
The guest house owner brings her some electrolyte water for the girl, and some food and water. GAEL, eats voraciously. AV eats slowly. She is still in shock and scared. The officer seemed to be a man who cared about people. But she looks at her children. They are too young to be left alone. She does not want to go out to the fields with Gael. Carmina is still not well. She is very quiet.
GUEST HOUSE OWNER
Go to the church and pray for the soul of your lost husband and the recovery of your daughter. I will watch the children until you return.
ANA VICTORIA agrees and leaves.
INT. CHURCH -EVENING
CANDLELIGHT
AV kneels and prays.
ANA VICTORIA
What have we done? God, please forgive Alejandro for his deals and his corruption. Please take him into heaven. Because he loved us. He trusted other men to be predictable, but he lost his bets.
AV prays for half a minute. Someone is watching her from the other side of the church. She feels unsettled.
ANA VICTORIA
We could go back to our house. We could die at home. Little Carmina and Gael. They can’t understand anything. They were good children on that ride through hell on the Beast. Carmina may not remember anything, but Gael is old enough to remember and ask questions. I wish I could erase this trip.
Al is gone. The cartel will see he was gone. I don’t know how to deal with them. Al was a police officer. I was his housewife. How can I go on? I don’t know anyone in the United States. I miss my kitchen and my mother’s plates with the pretty design. I could die at home, but what about our children? I can’t leave them there. I can’t leave them here. Al, this was unfair.
AV imagines that heaven is listening and that her husband is there.
ANA VICTORIA
I will do whatever it takes to save them.
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Chuck Czech’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned — I found that writing fast is possible if the foundation is first laid. In the spirit of the assignment, my script is pretty rough but it’s 100% further than what I had just a couple days ago.
Act 1 Turning Point (Outline)
INT./EXT. RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DUSK
BEGINNING: Ronan wakes up and admires Paulina driving. Then he notices she didn’t follow his advice and detects headlights in the distance behind them. They encounter Strangers in two cars who pursue them.
MIDDLE: The Strangers try running their car off the road. A black SUV appears and defends them — it’s driven by Brendan. The four vehicles have a dogfight on the country road.
END: Brendan drives one of the vehicles in a ditch. The other drives Ronan and Paulina off the road. As the pair fight over control of the car they plow over one of the Strangers.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DUSK
BEGINNING: Ronan is shocked to see the Stranger’s corpse emit toxic gasses — which indicates its nonhuman origins.
MIDDLE: Brendan arrives and shows Ronan the corpse, which is definitely not human. Ronan is dumfounded over the turn of events. As he and Paulina commiserate, Brendan moves his kit from the SUV into Ronan’s car, and then torches the SUV.
END: Ronan is unable to stop Brendan from occupying the driver’s seat, so he grudgingly hops in back and rides away with them.
Act 1 Turning Point (Write)
INT/EXT – RONAN’S CAR – TRAVELING – DUSK
Ronan blinks awake — looks — Paulina comes into focus, driving attentively.
Ronan soaks her in with his eyes. She’s more than just a long lost friend to him. Then he notices a road sign and bolts upright in his seat.
RONAN: We’re on highway 12. You didn’t take exit 61.
PAULINA: I thought about it. This route strikes me as safer.
RONAN: I took this way last time! They can find us!
PAULINA: Relax. We’re a needle in a haystack.
RONAN (checks windows and mirrors): But we leave a trail. The capsule leaves an energy trace which the Strangers can detect. Last time I was on this road I triggered their sensor. So they could feasibly anticipate our location.
Ronan sees something in the far distance behind them.
RONAN: How long has that truck been following us?
Paulina shoots him a nervous look.
PAULINA: Never noticed. But I don’t think for long.
RONAN: It’d definitely following us.
PAULINA: Of course! He’s in my lane and behind us. There’s no other physical possibility. Now settle down, Ronan, we’re okay.
They crest a slight hill and approach a roadside pull-off, where a black sedan is parked. Ronan bounces in his seat with anxiety.
PAULINA: It’s probably an unmarked sheriff’s vehicle. So don’t look nervous.
With anxiety written all over him, Ronan braces his arms against the dashboard to keep from bouncing. When they pass the sedan, Ronan can’t help but give the worst rubber-neck head-turn.
RONAN’S POV
A man wearing a hoodie watches them pass.
BACK TO SCENE
Ronan now braces his legs against the console, stifling complete panic.
RONAN: Paulina. It’s him. The guy who hit me at the roadhouse. And Paulina? He’s driving a Gibraltar vehicle. I recognize it from the pool.
Paulina stares into the mirror —
— the sedan pulls onto the road behind them.
She presses a button on her phone and guns the engine.
RONAN: What are you doing? Who are you calling?
PAULINA: Hang on, Ronan.
Ronan pushes himself deep into his seat and manically strokes his safety belt.
The black sedan pulls up next to their car. The driver is a silhouette. There’s A FLASH OF GUNFIRE and THE SOUND OF A BULLET hitting their fender.
Paulina hits the brakes, tries to get behind the sedan — but he’s glued to her side. ANOTHER FLASH OF GUNFIRE and a second bullet grazes their windshield.
Paulina swerves — connects with the black sedan — forces him into the oncoming lane. The sedan brakes and swerves to avoid an oncoming semi-truck.
Paulina punches it — puts distance between them and their pursuer. A flashing intersection light lies ahead. Another sedan is waiting for them.
Ronan’s car SCREAMS through the intersection. The second sedan chases after it.
The second sedan quickly closes the gap. It rams the rear bumper of Ronan’s car. Ronan puts his head between his knees.
Paulina brake checks, causing another rear-end collision. The second car swerves to pull up alongside the white car, but Paulina swerves to stay in front.
As Paulina is occupied with the car to their left, the first vehicle races to their side on the right shoulder. Ronan looks —
The Hoodie Driver stares back at him with his dead clay-like face.
Then WHAM! The Hoodie Driver is violently jostled as a black SUV roars up behind him.
Ronan looks — behind the SUV’s wheel is BRENDAN RIDEOUT (36) Gibraltar’s security chief — and one of the dead people from Ronan’s flashback.
Ronan watches Brendan ram the sedan again, this time twisting his wheel — causing the black vehicle to fishtail — its tires catch the edge of the asphalt and is dragged into the ditch.
Brendan struggles to keep control of the SUV. His tires also catches the edge of the asphalt and is dragged away. Now it’s just Ronan’s white sedan and the Stranger’s black sedan.
The silhouetted driver aims his gun — but Paulina veers off the road, gracefully steering onto a flat section of gravel. Now there are no lanes. She plows over little red flags that mark the dimensions of some yet-to-be-built structure. Ronan looks —
The black sedan is following — its headlights shrouded by dust and flying rocks.
Paulina spots a contractors shed — and drives right for it. Ronan braces himself, a panicked look on his face. At the moment before a collision, Paulina twists the wheel — causing the tires to float across loose gravel — and veering the car away from the shed,.
The other driver is not so skilled — he tries the same maneuver, but doesn’t pull out — his car SLAMS broadside against the shed, crushing his car’s passenger’s side and demolishing the wooden building.
Paulina, stone-faced, steers a wide arc across the flat gravel. Ronan realizes she’s looping back to her antagonist.
RONAN: No! Keep going! We can escape!
PAULINA: You didn’t want to be followed.
Paulina fumbles for her purse. Produces a compact .38 handgun. She spots the Stranger emerging from the sedan, then squeezes down on the accelerator.
PAULINA: Sorry, Ronan, but we can’t leave loose ends.
Ronan grabs the wheel, tries to steer away from the sedan, but Paulina pulls back.
The car weaves dangerously on the gravel. The Stranger steps clear of the sedan and raises his pistol — and WHAM! the white car flattens him — and drags his body in the undercarriage for an excruciatingly long distance as they skid to a stop.
Ronan and Paulina catch their breath. Ronan snaps off his safety belt and kneels on his seat, placing his hands on the capsule.
RONAN: Satisfied?
Paulina pulls at Ronan’s shirt.
PAULINA: Out now! We’re in danger.
Ronan doesn’t budge. Paulina leans her body against Ronan’s, wraps her arms around him and presses her mouth against his ear.
PAULINA (pleading whisper): I mean it, Ronan. Come with me. Please.
This shakes Ronan loose. He gives her an astonished glance, then opens his door.
Pistol in hand, Paulina races around the vehicle, grabs Ronan’s arm, and drags him a safe distance away. Ronan looks —
The driver’s body is a dark mass under the car — but it doesn’t look real — like the husk of a man, a scarecrow. Then FWISSSHHH! an enormous plume of vapor shoots out of his rib cage, as if he was a punctured aerosol can.
Their eyes start watering. Ronan coughs violently. Paulina tows him further away.
The white car is engulfed in the vapor.
RONAN: What is that!? Ammonia!?
PAULINA: Something like it! It’s what these guys breathe.
Ronan looks stupefied. A set of headlights bounces toward them. Paulina squeezes his arm protectively and raises her gun… then relaxes as she recognizes the vehicle.
The black SUV stops about twenty feet away. Brendan hops out and hustles toward them.
BRENDAN: You guys okay? Paulina — that’s some bad-ass driving! Nicely done! (fixes his eyes on Ronan)
Hello, Ronan. Long time no-see.
Brendan turns his attention to the corpse, which has stopped steaming, its vapor cleared by the wind. Brendan seizes a metal fencing stake from the shed’s debris.
BRENDAN: I took care of the other one. It could reasonably seen as an accident. But here — Paulina you made a very interesting crime scene.
Brendan places a hand towel over his mouth, crouches down, and jabs the corpse with the stake. After a few good shots, he pushes it clear of the car. He waves to Ronan.
BRENDAN: Ronan, you probably haven’t seen this before. Lookit — man’s first contact with alien life.
Ronan can’t make out what’s on the ground — a mishmash of broken body parts held together by cords of tissue. It’s as if a mannequin had been put through a wood chipper.
Brendan shines his phone flashlight into the Stranger’s open thorax.
BRENDAN: See here? It’s actually pretty cool — human on the outside and god knows what on the inside.
The thorax is not filled with fleshy organs and blood vessels, but a collection of empty compartments formed by a maze of leathery ridges, like the inside of a green pepper.
RONAN: Paulina, I think I’m going to throw up.
BRENDAN: Go ahead — this smell gets to me sometimes too.
Ronan turns away, Paulina following. Brendan embeds the stake’s blade into the jumbled body and tows it toward the SUV. It seems much lighter than a standard corpse.
Holding the towel against his face, Brendon manipulates the alien corpse with the stake, eventually stuffing it onto the passenger seat and slamming the door. Then he pops the rear hatch and removes several travel bags.
ANGLE ON RONAN’S CAR
Brendan places two travel bags, a duffel, and a Pelican case on the ground next to the car. He pops the trunk — and draws in a breath when he sees —
— the capsule, nested in a pile of blankets, its LED lights pulsing.
BRENDAN: Mary mother of God. What the fuck have you been up to, Ronan?
ON RONAN AND PAULINA
Ronan’s slumped over, hands on knees, trying to control his breathing. Paulina stands nearby.
PAULINA: I wanted to talk to you about this, prepare you, but first wanted to gain your trust.
RONAN: What does trust have to do with it? We just killed a man who wasn’t a man. And I’m seeing living people who I saw die. You’ll need more than my trust.
PAULINA: Ronan, for the past three years you’ve been on an unbelievable journey. It’s my belief you saved the world. And you know the extraordinary circumstances surrounding that journey. Think back to what we were working on at Gibraltar. Everything you see here is a result of those experiences.
Ronan stands, controls his breathing.
RONAN: Gibraltar… Gibraltar. We were probing the multiverse.
PAULINA: And we received signals from intelligent life. Those guys you saw back there? They made the signal.
Ronan clasps his hands against his temples.
RONAN: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no —
PAULINA: It’s a lot to take in. But you know this. You were there when we began decoding the signal. (touches his arm for emphasis) It was your dad who made the discovery.
Ronan rolls this around in his mind. Then squeezes his eyes shut.
RONAN: I miss him so much. More than anything. But I saw him, he’s…
(faces Paulina)
Paulina, I saw you dead. Brendan too. Can you explain that, or do you need to keep gaining my trust?
PAULINA (long beat): We don’t have much time.
They turn toward the white car, where Brendan is placing travel bags in the open trunk.
RONAN: Hey!
Ronan stays tight with Brendan, who opens the Pelican case in the trunk, removes a metal can, then crosses to the SUV.
RONAN: This is my car. You don’t have my permission to ride in it. Just because I let Paulina ride — on a temporary basis — doesn’t mean you can move in.
Brendan empties the can’s contents on the corpse inside the SUV. He strikes a lighter.
BRENDAN: Watch it…
He reaches his hand near the window and — WHOOOF! — there’s a brief fireball, and instantly the cab is ablaze.
Brendan hustles back to the car, Ronan on his heels. When Brendan opens the driver’s door, Ronan tries squeezing in, but the bigger Brendan swings in ahead of him.
BRENDAN: Sorry, buddy, I’m your relief. Time for you to take a breather.
RONAN: No. I am the one driver. No one knows the capsule better than me. Paulina, tell him.
PAULINA: We’re losing time. The capsule will start beeping.
RONAN: We have thirty seven minutes.
BRENDAN: Less than three minutes before law enforcement arrives. Or worse — more of these characters. (closes door) Ronan, you’ve done a great job keeping it safe. But now the cavalry has arrived, and I advise you to hop in the break.
Ronan is speechless. His world is spinning.
BRENDAN: I’m not gonna ask again. You either hop in or answer to the police.
Brendan inches the car forward, dialing up Ronan’s anxiety. Finally, Ronan opens the rear door and climbs in.
RONAN: This is my car. I am the one driver.
And they drive off, leaving the blazing SUV behind them.
-
Deni B. Sher’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is to make the turning points so strong and intense after the inciting incident that the reader/viewer is locked into the story and can’t wait to turn the page to see what’s going to happen next. It’s also very important that the protagonist continues with their old behavior right up to the end of ACT 1.
EXT. AVENTURA, FL – HIGH END CONDO BUILDING – NIGHT
A Lexus sedan pulls up.
INT. LEXUS – NIGHT
DENI(49) wears designer suit, leans over, behind the wheel, in casual suit and tie.
DENI
Thank you for another wonderful night. I love you, sweetheart.ARTHUR
I love you too, Deni girl, andthat’s why I can’t support what you’re doing. You paid a small fortune just getting him out of high school and now —
DENI
— Please. Let’s not go there. He was accepted into art school and I need to give him another chance.Arthur gently holds Deni’s shoulders, looks into her eyes.
ARTHUR
How many more chances does he get?DENI
He’s my only child. I want him to succeed.ARTHUR
He’s twenty-five. He should be on his own and not have his Mommy pay for everything.DENI
I know, but if I don’t help him, who will? I already signed a lease and we found a great used car.ARTHUR
I think you should have drug tested him first.DENI
He promised he quit.ARTHUR
And of course, you believed him.DENI
I need to believe him. I need to have hope. Trust me. I’m his mother.ARTHUR
Well, you better get some rest. Tomorrow’s the big move in day.DENI
He’s very excited and I’m excited for him.ARTHUR
You know I’m here for you, even if I don’t agree.DENI
I do know. Thank you for loving me the way you do.They kiss again. Deni gets out of the car. Shuts the door and throws Arthur a kiss.
EXT. RENTAL BUILDING – DAY
Deni and CHRIS (25) in jeans, black tee-shirt, hug.
DENI
Well, kiddo. We did it.Deni looks into the parking lot, eyeballs an old car.
DENI (CONT’D)
Take care of that car. It might be old, but it still runs.CHRIS Kinda like you, Mom.
DENI Ha. Ha.
2.
CHRIS
You know I’m joking.DENI
I know. So, school starts in a week. I’m excited for you.CHRIS
Me too. I’ll get my schedule this week and also find a part-time job.DENI
School’s the priority, but if you can find something for weekends, that would be great.Chris reaches out to hug Deni. They hug.
CHRIS
I’ll make you proud. Promise. Thanks for making all this happen. I love you.DENI
All I want is for you to be happy and have a successful life.
CHRIS
Me too, Mom.
Deni walks towards her car, turns, waves.
DENI
Keep me posted. I need to get back to work.SPLIT SCREEN – STREET ON SOUTH BEACH, FL/DENI’S BEDROOM
EXT. STREET IN SOUTH BEACH – NIGHT
Chris stands outside of a club, handing out flyers.
A brunette bombshell with huge breasts, SHABBY, 20s, hangs all over him, a beer in her hand.
Chris makes a cell call.
INT. DENI’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Deni and Arthur sleep in a high-end bedroom. Cell RINGS.
3.
Deni sits up quickly, looks at Arthur, looks at clock.
DENI Please, dear God.
ARTHUR
Just answer it, sweetheart.DENI Hello?
CHRIS Did I wake you?
DENI
Sort of, but that’s okay. Are you okay?CHRIS
I’m great. Just wanted you to know I got a job in marketing. Shabby looks at him confused.DENI That’s wonderful.
CHRIS
Yeah, I work at night promoting clubs in South Beach.DENI I’m proud of you.
CHRIS
Thanks, Mom. Okay. Just wanted to let you know. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. Love you.END SPLIT SCREEN
EXT. STREET IN SOUTH BEACH – CONTINUOUSChris puts the cell in his pants, grabs the beer out of the bombshell’s hand, swigs, kisses her.
CHRIS
Shabby, can you score some ecstasy for us?4.
INT. DENI’S BEDROOM – SAME TIME
Deni lies down, puts her head on Arthur’s chest.
DENI
He’s excited. He got a job in marketing. Thank God he’s okay.ARTHUR
At three in the morning? I hope you’re right.INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – BEDROOM – DAY
Chris and Shabby sprawl out on a mattress, on the floor. Empty beer bottles, dirty ashtrays, clothes strewn on floor, surround them. The sun radiates into their faces. Both stare at ceiling.
INSERT: “Three Months Later”
SHABBY
I’m worried. I barely slept.CHRIS
We have two weeks to figure it out.Mom paid til then.
SHABBY
Did you tell her yet?CHRIS
She’ll go crazy.
SHABBY
Can you blame her?
CHRIS
She’s the one who fucked me up.Shabby laughs.
SHABBY
That’s how I feel about my mom.CHRIS
That’s why I love you, Babe.SHABBY
Where will we live?
5.
CHRIS
Don’t worry. I already have an idea.INT. RENTAL BUILDING – RENTAL OFFICE – DAY
RENTAL AGENT (50s) sits at desk, arms folded across his chest. A cigar burns in an ashtray.
RENTAL AGENT Nope. Besides the walls, six neighbors have filed complaints on his loud music. He’s out and so is his whore.
DENI
He can’t afford a whore. I’ve met Shabby. I like her.RENTAL AGENT
I can understand why, given what your son’s like. She’s a step above.DENI
Just give me the keys. I’ll clean the apartment. I want my deposit back.Rental Agent hands Deni a key.
RENTAL AGENT
Have it your way. I hope you have a strong stomach and lots of elbow grease. You have a week.INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
The lock CLICKS. The door opens. The walls are covered with pastel drawings from ceiling to floor.
DENI (O.C.)
What in the hell?
RENTAL AGENT (O.C.) I expect it to be spotless and repainted white. Good luck.
Deni enters the apartment, shuts the door. She examines the living room walls, pops her head into the bedroom. Shakes her head in disappointment.
6.
DENI
What is wrong with you, Chris?Arthur tried to warn me. Deni tears up, weeps, trudges out, slams the door.
RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NEXT DAY
Deni and KAT (45) blonde, tall, strong, scrub the walls together. Walls are almost clean.
KAT
You know I love you like a sister. It hurts me to see what’s happening.DENI
He’s my only child, Kat. If I don’t help him, who will?KAT
I watched my parents try to save my brother for over twenty years. He bled them dry. Then, overdosed.DENI
He swears he’s only drinking beer and not doing drugs.KAT
I don’t think so. This artwork’s not from beer. He flunked out of school. What does that tell you?RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NEXT DAY
Deni, Kat and ANDY (30s) strong, healthy guy, paint walls.
DENI
Thanks again for helping on your days off.KAT
You’re one of the good ones, Andy.ANDY
Deni’s a good boss. What Chris needs is a good kick in the ass.DENI
He needed that years ago. It’s my fault he’s spoiled. (MORE)7.
DENI (CONT’D)
Once my computer company took off, I went from rags to riches. I just gave him anything he wanted.KAT
Like my brother, he’s never had to earn anything.ANDY
Why don’t you give him a job at ComputerDen. This way he can earn his own money and you can keep an eye on him. I’ll teach him. He can cold call for me.KAT
Where’s he going to live now?DENI
He can’t live with me. I moved in with Arthur.Andy steps back, examines the walls.
ANDY
I think we’re done. I’ll take my ladder and the drop cloths to my car. Just put the lid on the can and toss everything in those big garbage bags. I’ll come back up and take all the trash to my truck.DENI
I couldn’t have done it without you both.KAT
That’s what friends are for.EXT. ARTHUR’S APARTMENT – BALCONY – NIGHT
Arthur and Deni relax having cocktails as the sun sets.
ARTHUR
You’re an amazing woman. I honestly didn’t think you’d get the four thousand back. Have you learned anything about your son?8.
DENI
I know he’s not responsible. I know he drinks beer and smokes cigarettes and pot. Kat found burnt joint ends in his bathroom.ARTHUR
I’m sure he does more than pot.DENI
Like what? I know he tried coke years ago, but he didn’t like it.ARTHUR
At least that’s what he told you. I think your son has a drug problem, but you refuse to see it.DENI
But he says he doesn’t.ARTHUR
Stop believing him. You’re in denial. He’s not going to ever tell you the truth. He doesn’t want to hurt you.Deni starts crying, stands, gazes out,
DENI
I don’t want him to die. I’m so frustrated and confused. I don’t know what to do or how to save him.Arthur hugs Deni. She cries on his shoulder.
ARTHUR
You’ll figure it out. You just need to know you can’t trust him. This is like the hundredth time he’s disappointed you.DENI
You’re going to shoot me.ARTHUR
Why would I shoot you? I love you.DENI
I hired Chris and Shabby to work at ComputerDen.ARTHUR You what?
9.
DENI
There’s more… I let them moveinto the loft above my office. I can’t just kick them to the street.
ARTHUR
That’s exactly what you need to do.DENI
They’re getting married. I told them it’s a great idea. Maybe having a wife will make him grow up.ARTHUR
When did you plan to tell me all of this?DENI Now?
INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – LOFT – DAY
August and Shabby lie on a mattress on the floor. Make shift tables support make shift lighting.
A piece of artwork, spray pained on brown paper, hangs from a line strung across the room. Cans of spray paint clutter the floor.
Chris grabs Shabby’s left hand with his left hand and holds both hands in the air.
CHRIS
I can’t believe we’re married.SHABBY
We really did it.
They hug each other and kiss a long time.
SHABBY (CONT’D)
Your mom is very cool. My parents would never let us live up here like this.CHRIS
I think she’s stupid. She believes everything I tell her.10.
SHABBY
Well, I like her. She’s paying us to do a job, she’s giving us a place to live and I like working with her.CHRIS
That’s because you don’t know her like I do. She did some real stupid things with men when I was in high school.SHABBY
So did my mom. I never wanna be a single mom. It’s gotta sucks.CHRIS
Yeah, I guess you’re right.INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DENI’S OFFICE – DAY
There is a black car bumper on the floor and two computer terminals sitting on chairs in front of Deni’s desk.
Deni, looking miserable, sits at her desk. Chris enters Deni’s office, smiling.
CHRIS
What up, Madre?
DENI
You left your car keys on your desk, so I opened your trunk. Chris’ smile goes away.DENI (CONT’D)
You lied and stole two monitors from me. You also stole a bumper off someone’s car.CHRIS
What?
DENI
Don’t what me! You are a thief and a liar. I also think you are a drug addict. I can’t do this any more.CHRIS
Mom…
11.
DENI
Don’t mom me. You have done nothing but disappoint me time after time. I had enough last summer and then let you back in my life again. I’ve tried to help you, but you don’t help yourself.CHRIS
I’m sorry.
DENI
You’re not sorry. I know you and Shabby are planning to move to Germany. I want you to get a passport by next week. Once you have a passport, I will pay for your one way ticket to Germany.CHRIS
You’ll really do that?
DENI
Yes. I want you out of my life. And, don’t contact me again until you are clean and responsible. And, if you choose to never contact me again, that is fine too. That is your choice. Just go. I’m done.INT. ARTHUR’S APARTMENT – BALCONY – THAT NIGHT
Deni sits and stares straight ahead. A pout across her face. She chews a nail. Arthur sits nearby. Both speechless.
ARTHUR
I’m sorry he’s put you through all of this. That’s exactly why I didn’t want him to spend time with my son.DENI
I know. I just hurt. How could I be so angry with my son that I told him never to contact me again? Where has my love gone?ARTHUR
Sadly, he’s numbed it with his out of control behavior. You’ll never stop loving him. It’s his behavior you don’t like. And, with reason.12.
Deni breaks down crying. Arthur kneels in front of her, takes her face in his hands.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Don’t beat yourself up. The time apart will be good for you both.DENI
I’ve failed as a mother.EXT. MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – NIGHT
Arthur’s car pulls up, he gets out, opens trunk and takes a suit case and a carry-on out of the trunk.
Deni gets out of the car, stacks the carry-on on top of suitcase. Arthur and Deni hug.
SUPER: “Five Months Later”
ARTHUR
Please, don’t believe everything he tells you. I know you want to believe he’s changed and I hope he has, but take it slow. Okay?DENI
I promise I will. I just want to see if he’s doing as well as he says he is.ARTHUR
I’m sure he’s a fantastic barista. Just don’t get into any arguments and keep it light. I know you miss him. Just have fun.Deni and Arthur kiss and hug again. Deni pulls her luggage towards the airport, turns and waves as Arthur drives off.
MONTAGE – DENI, CHRIS AND SHABBY HAVE FUN TOGETHER
— Chris shows Deni coffee shop where he works.
— Chris, Shabby and Deni eat and laugh at a German Beer House. All three have a mug of German beer.
CHRIS
This beer doesn’t even taste good to me any more. I’m serious.13.
SHABBY
We’re only drinking with you, Deni, cause you’re here. It’s tradition.DENI
You both look great. I’m happy things are working out for you.SHABBY
I’m back in college. My parents are thrilled. Sorry you missed them.— Deni, Chris and Shabby visit Munich Cathedral.
— Deni and Chris board a train to Salzburg, Austria.
— Deni and Chris visit Mozart’s birthplace.
— Deni and Chris walk around the streets in Salzburg laughing and having fun.
DENI
I’m so glad I came to see you. I’ve really missed you. I’m glad you’re getting your life together.CHRIS
Thanks, Mom. Shabby and I are doing great. I’ve missed you, too.INT. COMPUTER COMPANY – DENI’S OFFICE Deni, busy at work, answers her landline. SUPER: “Seven Months Later”
DENI
This is Deni.
SPLIT SCREEN – DENI’S OFFICE/CHRIS ON CELL IN MUNICH
CHRIS (cheerful, excited)
Hi Mom!
DENI
Hi Chris! What a surprise to hear from you. Is everything okay?CHRIS
Everything is great… sort of.14.
Silence.
DENI
What do you mean, sort of?CHRIS
Mom, I want to go back home.CHRIS (CONT’D)
Shabby and I want to get divorced. I can’t get a good job here because I don’t speak German. I don’t do drugs. I don’t even drink. I promise I will turn my life around if you pay my airfare home.DENI (V.O.)
Wow! I didn’t expect that. My heart was pulled in two directions. The past year without Chris tormenting my life with his irresponsible and irrational behaviors had been wonderful. My life felt almost normal without the seesaw effects of my son’s chaotic lifestyle. And yet, my maternal instincts began jumping for joy.DENI
Are you telling me the truth? Are you honestly not drinking and drugging, or are you telling me only what I want to hear?CHRIS
I swear, I’m not drinking and I’m not drugging. I am tired of wasting my life. I am so unhappy here. I miss you. Please Mom, let me come home.DENI (V.O.)
Though I didn’t miss the chaos, I did miss my son. I missed the Chris I knew he could be when sober. Please God, tell me I’m not crazy.DENI
Of course I will pay your airfare home.15.
DENI (CONT’D) (to camera)
The forever hopeful and forgiving codependent mother won out, over the angered and hopeless mother who had given up on him just one year prior.
DENI (V.O.)
Maybe there still is hope.
Chris screams into the phone like he just won the lottery.
CHRIS
I love you, Mom. You’ll see a new me. I promise.DENI
I love you too, Chris. I can’t wait to see you again.INT. ARTHUR AND DENI’S HOME – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Deni and Arthur finish eating dinner.
DENI
I have something to tell you, but I don’t want you to get upset.ARTHUR
Did you back into another mailbox?DENI
That would be my third! But, no. It’s bigger than that.ARTHUR
Well…? Should I keep guessing?Deni shakes her head, takes a deep breath.
Silence.
DENI
I agreed to fly Chris home. He called me today. Promised me he’s not doing any drugs or drinking and he wants to turn his life around.ARTHUR
I’m not upset. I knew he’d return eventually.16.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
But, I do want you to know, as long as you continue to support him, I can’t marry you.Deni jumps up excited, hugs Arthur.
DENI
Is that a proposal?ARTHUR No, I —
DENI
Yes, it was!! That was a proposal.ARTHUR
Okay, it was. One day I hope we can get married.Deni hugs Arthur from behind, leans over his shoulder.
DENI
I love you so much. Yes! Yes, I accept your proposal!ARTHUR
As much as I love you, I need to make one thing clear. I don’t want him staying here for more than a few days. You may trust him, but I don’t.DENI I understand.
ARTHUR
Also, I wouldn’t get overly enthused yet about Chris. He always tells you what you want to hear and then disappoints you.DENI
I know. This time I think he really means it. After ten years of partying, he wants to make something of his life.ARTHUR
Sounds familiar.
17.
DENI (to camera)
I knew his coming home meant I would be dipping into my savings once again, to set him up in a comfortable lifestyle. I was so thrilled hearing he was clean and sober, I would have done anything for him. After all, he was my only child. And, after all, I was his enabling, sick mother.
EXT. PARKING LOT – MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – DAY
Deni and Chris puts Chris’ luggage into Deni’s trunk. One large box contains a bike. Chris slams trunk shut. He turns to Deni and hugs her.
CHRIS
I can’t believe I’m home. I love you, Mom.DENI
I love you too.
INT.- EXT. DENI’S CAR – DAY
As Deni drives, uncomfortable silence in the car.
DENI
As far as I’m concerned, the past dark years of your life are over. They are history. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.CHRIS
Thanks, Mom.
DENI
In a few days we’ll find an apartment, so you can be independent and move on with your life.CHRIS
I really appreciate all that you have done for me in the past and everything you’re doing now. I admit I’ve been a real shit, but I am ready to turn my life around. I promised you’ll be proud of me.18.
DENI
All I ever wanted is for you to find inner peace and happiness. You can’t do that when you are drinking and drugging. You told me you are clean and want to change. That is why I’m helping you again. I believe you and trust you.DENI (V.O.)
I allowed myself to feel the first ray of hope – again. Though Arthur was usually right concerning most things, I prayed he would be wrong this time.MONTAGE – DENI SETS CHRIS UP TO BE ON HIS OWN
— Deni and Chris sit at a table in the living room of a townhouse with the OWNER, signing a lease.
DENI
This is perfect. Five hundred a month for six months for a fully furnished townhouse.CHRIS
The location is excellent.DENI
I don’t want the lease to be in my name. My son is twenty-five. It’s time for him to be responsible.LANDLADY
That’s fine. I have grown children. I understand.The landlady turns the paperwork towards Chris. He signs the lease, looks up to Deni, smiles.
CHRIS
This lease represents a new lease on my life, Mom. Deni and Chris laugh together.DENI (V.O.)
I silently prayed, from his mouth to God’s ears.19.
DENI
I’ll pay the first and last month, but it’s your responsibility to start paying on month two.CHRIS
Not to worry. Thanks, Mom.— Deni purchases new clothes for Chris.
DENI
You need to look good to get a job.CHRIS
I agree. Thanks, Mom.— Deni purchases Chris a cell phone.
CHRIS (CONT’D)
Mom, just get me any phone that works. I don’t need anything fancy. I just need one to find a job.DENI (V.O.)
Is that my son speaking? Since when did he ever not want the best?DENI
Pick out the one you want and get one of the basic plans. Remember, you’re responsible for the bills.CHRIS
I can’t believe I finally have my own cell. Do you realize this is the first time?DENI
Use it well and don’t forget to call when you get your first job. — Deni purchases a used car from friend, JON.JON
Are you nuts? Why are you buying him another car. Don’t you remember what he did to the other ones I sold you?DENI (V.O.)
Of course I remembered, but blinded by denial, I wanted to forget.20.
Deni attempts to hand Jon a check for $3,500.
DENI
Please, don’t say a word. I know what you’re thinking. Jon pushes the check back at Deni.DON
If you know what I’m thinking, then take back the money. Let him ride a bike.DENI (to camera)
The car was registered in Chris’ name. I insured it for one year and gave Chris and his car my blessings.
— Deni and Chris remove food from shopping bags to stock his townhouse with food.
DENI (CONT’D)
Well, kiddo. You have food, clothing and shelter – all you need is a job!
CHRIS
I’m confident I’ll get one. There’s tons of restaurants nearby.DENI
I’m trusting you. All I want is for you to be happy, healthy and to prosper.INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Deni and Arthur finish eating dinner.
ARTHUR
I agree with everything you just said. Now, what I want you to do is put it all in writing.DENI
Really?
ARTHUR
Yes, really. You just swore this is the last time you will bail out your son. Put it in writing.(MORE)
21.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
If he disappoints you again, you can read what you wrote. Write down the total you just spent and make a commitment to yourself —DENI
— And to the world..ARTHUR
.. That should Chris fail this time and fall back into his old habits that you will never help him again.DENI
I will. In fact, I will write it to myself and send a copy to him. You have my word.ARTHUR
You need to do this for you. And, I’m here to support you. I know it’s not easy.INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Chris lays in bed reading Deni’s letter. Empty beer bottles and ashtrays full of butts appear bedside.
DENI (V.O.)
I have seen Chris’ changes since quitting drugs. He is sober and sound. I believe he is capable of turning his life around. I have assisted him for the final time. I invested a total of $7,282. A drop in the bucket to rebirth my child. This is my commitment to myself and to the world, that should Ryan fail this time, that I will never help him again. So, Chris, when you finish reading this letter, please understand that I am very serious. I will always love you whether or not I hand you money again, but it’s time for you to be a man. With love always, Mom.Chris takes a swig of beer.
CHRIS
Shit. She’s gonna kill me.Chris dials his cell.
22.
DENI
Hey Chris. How’s your job going?CHRIS
I got let go for being late. I think my body’s time clock is still off from living in Europe.DENI
That makes sense. Don’t give up.Take a little time to get your body adjusted, then look again. I can pay next month’s rent.
CHRIS You’re not mad?
DENI
If you’re not drinking or doing drugs, I’m thrilled. I know it’s hard to adjust. Just hang in there.DENI (CONT’D) (to camera)
I was very good at rationalization.
CHRIS
Rachel’s coming down from Greensboro to visit. She’s glad I’m not with Shabby.DENI
That’s great! I love Rachel. And, I know she loves you. You were her first boyfriend.CHRIS
I know. And, she’s always been there for me.DENI
Her parents love you too. She’s a gift from God. Be good to her.CHRIS
I will be. I’ll find another job after she goes back home.DENI
Say hello for me, okay?CHRIS
And, don’t worry, Mom. I’m not drinking or drugging.23.
DENI
I’m actually not worried. Did you read the letter I wrote to myself? I want you to know, I’m serious.CHRIS
I know. I love you, Mom.DENI
I love you. We’ll talk later.nGoodnight.INTERCUT – RACHEL’S BEDROOM/DENI’S BEDROOM – DAY
Rachel paces nervously, then taps numbers on her cell. Deni lies in bed, alone, reading. Her cell RINGS.
Hello?
DENI (CONT’D)
RACHEL
(sweet, southern accent)Hi Deni, it’s Rachel.
DENI
Rachel, what a surprise. How the heck are you?RACHEL
I’m fine, but it’s Chris I’m worried about.DENI
What do you mean? Are you here in Florida?RACHEL
No, but I was. I visited him for aweek recently. I’ve been calling and calling but he doesn’t answer his phone. I’m concerned.
DENI
How many days has he not answered?RACHEL
Today is the third day. That doesn’t seem normal. I don’t want to worry you, but you need to know, he’s drinking again. He’s very depressed. It’s his depression that has me concerned.(MORE)
24.
RACHEL (CONT’D)
I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid, if you know what I mean.DENI
I do know what you mean and I hope he doesn’t either. He told me he stopped drinking and using drugs and that’s the only reason I helped him again. Honestly, I’m shocked.DENI (CONT’D) (to camera)
Arthur was right. Chris always disappoints me.
RACHEL
Please don’t tell him I called you. He’ll hate me. I think a huge part of his depression is because he knows he really screwed up again.DENI
Yes, he certainly has. If he’s still alive, I’m going to kill him. I appreciate your concern for him. I’ll drive up there today to see how he’s doing.RACHEL
I know deep inside he’s truly a good guy. It just sucks that he can’t control his drinking.DENI
If he’s depressed, then he’s probably sleeping a lot. I’m very disappointed. It makes me extremely sad.RACHEL
Makes me sad, too. Would you call me after you talk to him, so I know he’s alright.DENI
Absolutely. Thanks for the heads up. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to call. Please, take care of yourself.25.
INT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – DENI’S BEDROOM – DAY
Deni leaps from bed, yanks off her her pajamas and hurries into her closet.
EXT. DENI AND ARTHUR’S HOME – GARAGE – DAY
Deni’s car quickly backs out. Speeds off.
EXT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – DAY
Deni rings the bell. No answer. Deni knocks. No answer. Deni knocks harder. No answer. Deni uses a key. She opens the door. Yells.
DENI
Hello? Chris? It’s your mom. Hello.Deni steps inside a dark apartment. Shuts the door. Flicks the lights on.
DENI (V.O.)
God, please let Chris be alive. Breathe Deni, breath.INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN – DAY
The apartment is a mess. Ashtrays full of cigarette butts sit on every table. Dirty dishes fill the sink with crusted food stuck on them. Mold grew in every dirty glass.
Deni shakes her head in disgust. Opens the refrigerator. It’s near empty.
DENI
Chris! Answer me.
She climbs the stairs.
INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – CHRIS’ BEDROOM – DAY
The door opens into a room cluttered with beer bottles and dirty ashtrays. There’s a lump under the covers.
Deni slowly approaches the bed, bends to see if he’s breathing. A sigh of relief. Deni kicks the bed.
DENI
Chris. Chris. Wake up.26.
The lump speaks with his eyes closed. Contempt in the voice.
CHRIS
What are you doing here?DENI (V.O.)
Wanting to yell my head off at him, I dug deep to find restraint, then calmly spoke.DENI
I came to check on you out of concern, but now that I know you’re still alive, I want an explanation. You told me you stopped drinking.Chris sits up in anger.
CHRIS
You have not right being in my home. I did not let you in. You need to leave.DENI
I need to leave? Excuse me. Who in the hell do you think you’re speaking to?DENI (V.O.)
I felt like a ticking bomb ready to explode. The audacity of my son made my blood pressure escalate to points it had never seen.DENI
What’s going on with you? Talk to me.CHRIS
I’m depressed.
DENI
You’re depressed? How do you think I’m feeling right now?Chris hold his pillow to his scruffy face.
CHRIS
I’m sorry Mom. I fucked up.No eye contact.
27.
DENI
Sorry does not work anymore. You can put the fucking pillow over your face, but you can’t hide from the truth.Deni leaves his bedside in disgust.
DENI (V.O.)
My brain was racing. I walked downstairs to think and pace.INT. CHRIS’ RENTAL APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Deni paces, looks around the apartment. Looks everywhere.DENI (V.O.)
Any of his of any value is gone. Deni screams up the stairs.DENI
Where is your bike?
CHRIS
I pawned it. I took it where you bought those gold earrings. Deni shouts like a crazy person.DENI
You pawned it! Why doesn’t that surprise me? Well I’m going to go get your bike. Consider it mine.DENI (CONT’D) (to camera)
Of course, this wasn’t the first time he pawned his possessions. When he studied graphic design in South Beach, he pawned every piece of computer and photography equipment I bought him. He even sold his candy-apple-red Gibson, collector’s electric guitar, that he, “just had to have,” and that I “just had to buy” to keep him happy.
Deni storms out of Chris’ townhouse.
28.
EXT. PARKING LOT – PAWNSHOP – DAY
Deni’s car pulls into the parking lot.
Chris’ car pulls in right after.
Deni and Chris get out of their cars. Deni fumes with anger.
CHRIS
There is no way I am going to give you the bike. It’s mine and I need the money.DENI (crazed)
I have given you over seven thousand dollars. I want the bike to cover part of my losses.
CHRIS (defiant and crazed)
I don’t care what you want. It’s my bike and I’m pawning it.
DENI
No, you are not pawning it.Deni storms into the pawn shop.
Chris waits outside, smug as hell.
Deni storms back out of pawn shop.
Chris screams at the top of his lungs, drooling, and with spit coming out of his mouth like a rapid dog.
CHRIS
I told you the bike is mine. You’re a horrible mother and I hate you!Deni hyperventilates and spit flies out of her mouth.
DENI
I love you, but I hate your behavior. I hate the person you have become. I don’t even know you anymore. I am not going to continue paying your rent while you drink and drug. I want you out of the apartment. You have two weeks to leave. The son I remember is gone. You need to be on anti-depressants.29.
DENI (V.O.)
Oh my God, did I really just say that?CHRIS
Great Mom. You tell a drug addict to take drugs. That’s real smart.DENI
I did not tell you to take drugs. You need professional help. I cannot help you any longer.CHRIS
You’ll be sorry, Mom. I’ll never speak to you again.Chris turns his back, walks away towards his car.
DENI
Call your old girlfriend, Rachel. Maybe you can go live with her. You need to get out of Florida and away from all your loser friends. I’m done!Deni storms to her car, opens the door, gets in and slams door shut.
INT./EXT. DENI’S CAR – DAY
Deni in tears, shakes as she starts the engine and drives off. After driving two long blocks, she pulls the car to the side of the road. In pain, she cries her heart out, talks to herself. Blows her nose almost constantly. Weeps. Explodes in bursts of over the top anguish.
DENI
I lost my son. I just gave him a death sentence. He’ll die with out me. Deni blows a tremendous amount of snot from her nose.INSERT: “One Hour Later.”
Deni takes a few deep breaths, pulls herself together, drives off.
DENI (CONT’D) (to camera)
This was the longest and hardest drive of my life.
(MORE)
30.
DENI (CONT’D)
I felt anguished, depressed, guilty, hopeless and defeated, believing my son was going to die. How can I bare this pain? -
Joy Geldard-Smith’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is… I am falling even more in love with structure than I thought I was before! The beginning, middle and end make it much easier to write, and (hopefully!) make it more interesting for the audience as well. You also have to ‘lock in’ the journey by giving your character no other options, and I had fun doing that.
It kinda feels a bit like I’m writing too much here for a turning point, but the thing with her faking the sickness is what pushes her manager to fire her, after being so concerned about her, so I feel like it’s part of it.
I really enjoyed getting my character fired!
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
Act 1 Beat Sheet:
INT. MADISON’S WORK – THE NEXT DAY
Madison goes into work, complete with accessories trying to show that she’s still sick. She receives a call (via switchboard) from Jose’s manager, who asks her to do another puzzle room. She says don’t call her again.
INT. LOCAL NEWS – THAT SAME NIGHT
Madison is having a TV dinner and sees footage of ‘Local Artist Jose and Mystery Woman’. Cuts to bestie, parents and her manager all watching with the same disbelief. [And the cute kid, if there is a cute kid in it.]
INT. MADISON’S WORK – THE NEXT DAY
Madison goes into work and is promptly fired!
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Madison driving home with the car, asking the car how she’s going to pay for it.
INT. PLACEHOLDER – LATER
What is a non-creepy way for Jose’s manager to have tracked her down to speak to her again? Sure, he called the office and they said she was fired, but they wouldn’t give out her details. Probably need to set something up with Jose about a favorite coffee shop, or comfort food, or something like that. ???
He convinces her to do more puzzles and agrees to a 50% split, thinking it won’t last long. She says she doesn’t know how he can represent someone like Jose, and she’s only doing it because she got fired after just buying a sweet new ride so needs the money.
Outline:
INT. MADISON’S WORK – THE NEXT DAY
Beginning: Madison goes into work, complete with accessories trying to show that she’s still sick.
Middle: She receives a call (via switchboard) from Jose’s manager, who asks her to do another puzzle room.
End: She says don’t call her again, as she is nearly busted by her own manager, checking in on how she’s recovering. She lies.
INT. LOCAL NEWS – THAT SAME NIGHT
Beginning: Madison is having a boring TV dinner as befits her boring accountant life. She sees footage of ‘Local Artist Jose and Mystery Woman’ on the local news.
Middle: Cuts to bestie, parents and her manager all watching with the same disbelief. [And the cute kid, if there is a cute kid in it.]
End: Her manager drinking a beer and going from ‘Madison?’ to ‘MADISON!’
INT. MADISON’S WORK – THE NEXT DAY
Beginning: Madison goes into work and tries to continue as normal.
Middle: Her manager tries to talk to her in her office. She takes it outside, underestimating his anger.
End: She is promptly fired – in front of everyone!
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Beginning: Madison driving home talking to her car, saying that she’s happy and she didn’t like that boring job anyway.
Middle: She says she can find loads of other work, she’s got qualifications, everything will be fine. She just needs to find someone who doesn’t watch the news and won’t recognise her from that, and will hire her without a reference from the firm that she’s worked for the last five years…
End: Madison driving home with the car, asking the car how she’s going to pay for it, realizing the mess she’s in.
INT. Havana Rum Bar – LATER
Beginning: Rafael walks into the bar to find Madison drowning her sorrows. She doesn’t want to speak to him until he offers to pay for the drinks.
Middle: He explains he found out she was fired, and she mentioned in the puzzle room that she liked drinking presidentes, so he came to that bar, as it serves the best in Miami.
End: He convinces her to do more puzzles and agrees to a 50% split, thinking it won’t last long. She says she doesn’t know how he can represent someone like Jose, and she’s only doing it because she got fired after just buying a sweet new ride so needs the money.
2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. MADISON’S WORK – THE NEXT DAY
Madison slow-walks into her new office, complete with fake cough and tissues. Co-workers smile and try to congratulate her on her promotion, but she coughs them away in her hurry to hide in her office.
As soon as she is shut in safety, the tissues are dumped. The desk phone rings.
MADISON
(curious:)
Acumen Accountants, Madison speaking.
RAFAEL (V.O.)
Oh, hi, Madison, glad I got through to you.
MADISON
Can I ask who’s calling?
RAFAEL
It’s Rafael Morales. We met at the puzzle room.
MADISON
The manager, huh? How did you get this number?
RAFAEL
I came through the switchboard. Where accountants work isn’t a state secret, you know.
MADISON
You shouldn’t call me here.
RAFAEL
I’m trying to do you a favor. We can make some money together.
MADISON
What would I have to do?
RAFAEL
Same as before – just be in the puzzle room with Jose.
MADISON
You don’t have enough money to pay me to do that. And I have a day job here that I need to get on with.
RAFAEL
C’mon, one more room. It’s a couple of hours of your time. Help out a starving artist.
MADISON
If he starves because he doesn’t come down from his ivory tower to eat, that’s on him.
Madison sees a shadow on the closed blinds.
RAFAEL
I’m his manager – I help him make money. I’m asking you to help me to help him.
A short tap on the door and Antonia enters.
MADISON
(fake hoarse:)
Look, don’t call here again.
Phone promptly hung up. Tissue returns to hand.
MADISON (CONT’D)
Spammers.
Fake coughing into the tissue. If she seems germy enough, Antonia will leave her alone.
ANTONIA
You sure you should be back, sugar?
MADISON
Oh… yeah. Just a cold.
Can’t downplay it too much.
MADISON
A vicious one, I hardly slept,but just a cold. I’ll be-
(spontaneous coughing:)
-fine. Eventually.
ANTONIA
You get settled in here, sort your stuff. Take it easy today. Though I do need the viewing figures by tonight.
MADISON
Viewing figures?
ANTONIA
View. You. Inc.
MADISON
Duh! Who would be viewing me? Must be messing with my ears.
Antonia nods and backs away.
Madison rests her head on the desk.
MADISON
Don’t blow it now.
INT. MADISON’S APARTMENT – THAT SAME NIGHT
Madison moves to an imaginary beat as the microwave timer reaches its end. The meal is place on a plate, which is placed on Madison’s lap as she tries to sit nicely on the creaky couch, remote in hand.
MADISON
(channel hopping:)
Nope. Nuh. No way. Kill me. Ooh, news.
She chews this over a mouthful of microwave food.
MADISON (CONT’D)
Maybe I am boring. I just got excited by the news.
On TV, the anchor turns to the next story.
NEWS ANCHOR
Our reporter there, in Brickell. And now to the local internet sensation that has sparked a search for a mystery woman.
Madison mindlessly munches.
NEWS ANCHOR
Miami artist Jose Torres broke new ground by completing a new work while locked in an escape room, but the show was stolen by a mystery woman who ended up locked in there with him.
Madison’s munching stops.
MONTAGE
Sam is at home, swiping through a dating app, when she looks up and sees Madison in the puzzle room with Jose.
SAM
What the…?
…Ian is sat in a bar, glances up at the big screen.
IAN
Wait, is that…?
…Madison’s Dad is setting the last plates on the table, while her Mom has the TV on.
ISABEL
Hey, Ben, come look at this!
He rushes to her, and they analyze the footage.
BEN
Can it be? I’m pretty sure that’s…
…Antonia switches her TV on, goes to the fridge, then slams down on her couch, opening a cold beer.
ANTONIA
Madison?
…Jose, brush in hand, spins round to face the TV.
JOSE
Madison?
He steps left, then lets the brush fall onto a canvas on the floor.
JOSE
That numbers witch will not take my victory!
He loads and drops more brushes, angrily.
JOSE
Madison!
…Antonia squints forensically at the TV as the reporter moves on. Grabs her phone, finds the footage.
ANTONIA
Madison?
…Sam recovers enough to call Madison.
SAM
Madison?
…Antonia is on her feet now, zooming into the still posted on the local news website.
ANTONIA
MADISON!
INT. MADISON’S OFFICE – THE NEXT DAY
Madison sits, office door open, working hard and fast, several empty coffee cups lined up on the edge of the desk. Ian approaches with a cup of coffee for her, confused.
IAN
What’s going on? You pull an all-nighter or something?
MADISON
No, I just got in a little early.
IAN
Should I be worried?
Ian places down the coffee.
MADISON
No. Just getting used to the next rung up the corporate ladder.
IAN
OK, well, you know you can delegate stuff to me. You look kinda stressed.
MADISON
I’m all good.
IAN
I just… have never seen you get here before Antonia before.
MADISON
Is she here?
Antonia looms behind Ian.
ANTONIA
She’s here.
MADISON
Oh, good! I wanted to talk to you. Everyone’s been calling me about that thing on the news last night.
IAN
Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. So weird.
MADISON
Right? So weird. I mean, I never believed in doppelganger theory, but right here in Miami.
ANTONIA
Yeah, it’s weird.
Madison picks up on Antonia’s anger.
MADISON
Oh, did-did you see it too?
ANTONIA
With my own eyes.
MADISON
I used to think seeing was believing, but now…
ANTONIA
How’s the cold?
MADISON
Thanks for asking. It’s so much better.
Madison slinks round from behind the desk and picks up some coffee cups.
ANTONIA
So much better that you got here early enough to drink… five cups of coffee before 8am?
MADISON
I woke up early. Maybe because of the cold medicine.
Ian is starting to back out of the office.
ANTONIA
The cold medicine?
MADISON
Could be. I’m just gonna take these cups to the kitchen.
Madison moves and Antonia follows her, both passing Ian.
ANTONIA
Doesn’t cold medicine usually make you drowsy?
Madison is out of the door by now, just out into the main office, full of coworkers chatting about their evenings.
MADISON
Usually at first, then when it wears off, it wakes me all the way up. I’ll just take the cups…
ANTONIA
Madison, I’m going to ask you this one time. Were you in a puzzle room on Monday?
The chatter drops.
MADISON
I… No. I was sick, I was in bed. Remember, you even said how bad I sounded when I called.
ANTONIA
I remember.
Madison sneezes, genuinely, which sprays all the coffee cups she’s holding.
ANTONIA
That’s it. You’re fired.
MADISON
Because I sneezed?
She’s trying to hold it in, but Madison’s anger is also simmering.
ANTONIA
Because you’ve been faking this whole thing.
Madison looks to the open-plan office for back up.
MADISON
It was a genuine sneeze! People sneeze. Haven’t we all sneezed here once or twice?
ANTONIA
People sneeze. They don’t pull sickies to go hang out with artists in puzzle rooms right after you promote them.
Madison searches for a comeback.
MADISON
I-
ANTONIA
Don’t.
MADISON
But, I-
ANTONIA
Do. Not. Just clear your desk, and go.
The collective group cower slightly, anticipating the reaction.
MADISON
I’m sorry.
ANTONIA
Ian?
IAN
Yep?
ANTONIA
Stay in that office, it’s yours.
Madison walks to the kitchen to get rid of the coffee cups that have underscored how undignified what just happened was.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Madison is in her new car, top down, shades on, box of work stuff on the passenger seat. On autopilot, driving her route home.
MADISON
Woo-hoo! I am free. I am so happy, Comet. I didn’t need that stupid job anyway. Boring? It WAS boring. I should have quit a long time ago. It was the job that was boring, not me. I’m fun, Comet. Ian can have the office. I can get loads of other work, I’ve still got my qualifications. So many, many qualifications and exams that I had to put myself through. For what? To get fired the first time I ever took a sickie? In five years? Screw them! I’ll find somewhere fun to be an accountant. Like a bouncy castle firm or a pie shop.
(pauses to think:)
I mean, it would have to be a fun firm, because apparently everyone watches the local news now so everyone will recognize me. I mean, everyone. But there will be some people who won’t care, right? I’ll be fine. Everyone needs accountants. All the time.
(it’s hitting her now:)
But they don’t usually hire them without references. Can I really get a reference if they fired me? I worked there for five years straight out of college. They have to give me a reference, right? Comet? I’ve still got you. For now. I mean, I don’t know how I’m going to pay for you anymore. Maybe I should have been boring and not treated myself. If you can call a sports car a treat. It’s more of a major life purchase, really. Oh, Comet, what am I going to do?
Madison pulls up outside her apartment building and falls apart.
INT. HAVANA RUM BAR – LATER
Brick walls host a framed Cuban flag and vintage tourist posters in simple frames. Behind the bar is packed tight with rum bottles of all shades and sizes, from the darkest at one end, to clear at the other. Pulses with fast-paced music, energy and laughter – except from one seat. Madison’s.
Rafael enters the bar, trying not to be noticed while scanning the bar for one particular face. He takes a seat next to her.
RAFAEL
I thought I might find you here.
MADISON
Who are you looking for?
Madison is worse for rum.
RAFAEL
You. It’s me, Raf, the manager.
MADISON
Oh, yeah, you’re the asshole that leaked the footage to the news and got me fired.
RAFAEL
I didn’t do any of that.
The BARMAN approaches.
RAFAEL (CONT’D)
Two presidentes, please.
Madison glares.
RAFAEL (CONT’D)
I listen! You don’t like Cuban sandwiches but you love presidentes. I’m not much of a detective but this place serves the best in the 305. I called back to talk to you again, heard you got fired, and… here we sit.
MADISON
I’m not drinking with you.
RAFAEL
I’m paying.
MADISON
I’ll have one drink with you. But I’m still mad.
The Barman returns with their drinks and Rafael pays.
RAFAEL
I don’t know why you think I’d need to tell the press – the video has 15 million views. You’ve gone viral.
MADISON
Well, here’s the thing. I told my boss I had something viral, and now I’m unemployed. I might even have to get rid of Comet.
RAFAEL
That’s not my fault, is it?
MADISON
No. I guess I should blame that Puzzler kid for putting me in the wrong room.
Madison gulps her presidente.
RAFAEL
It’s not her fault either. But getting sacked for pulling one sickie seems a little harsh.
MADISON
I just wanted to have one day to myself where no one called me boring.
RAFAEL
You had an exciting day, right? That’s what people loved, the excitement.
MADISON
That painter called me boring.
RAFAEL
So, prove to him, and everyone, that you’re not. Do another one.
MADISON
You’re not even here to apologize to me?
RAFAEL
If an apology can take the form of a lucrative deal, then sure. You need a job, right?
MADISON
You’re offering me a job?
RAFAEL
More of an opportunity to make some money. Everyone needs money. We can ride this wave and see how far it takes us.
MADISON
But I have to work with that brush jockey?
RAFAEL
And in your job where everyone called you boring – you liked every one of them?
MADISON
Ugh. I guess you’re kinda good at your job, persuading people.
RAFAEL
One of the best.
MADISON
Then how come you’re representing someone like Jose?
RAFAEL
He’s a rising star. And you could rise with him. That sounded creepier than I meant it to.
MADISON
If he’s rising, he can do it alone.
RAFAEL
People loved you. Both of you.
The dime drops.
MADISON
You need me.
RAFAEL
No. But you would be an asset.
MADISON
15 million views? How many did his last video get?
RAFAEL
He was trying something different, you can’t compare.
Madison lifts her phone with intent.
MADISON
I’ll just look it up myself, right now…
RAFAEL
No need. I’ll give you 25% of what Jose gets.
MADISON
I’ll take 60% of everything. Plus expenses.
RAFAEL
Expenses? You’ll be in a puzzle room.
MADISON
Take it or leave it.
RAFAEL
50%.
MADISON
Deal.
She holds her hand out, shaking on the deal she wanted all along.
MADISON (CONT’D)
Maybe I can keep Comet after all.
RAFAEL
Wait, what is this comet?
MADISON
My car. Obviously.
Rafael wonders what kind of crazy he just did a deal with.
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