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Lesson 11
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PETER FELIZ DRAMATIC REVEALS ASSIGNMENT: What I learned is <div>
THIS is a GREAT brainstorming tool for making the implausible and the hokey appear possibly…Also helped me find alternatives for dialogue for reveals. I’m only doing it for this beat now because of time constraints and this is the most hokey beat of my project. Still hokey but it has more potential now
<div>1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience. </div>
REVEAL #1.
A. Lucky wakes up in the beach house of the REAL VILLAIN.
B. The real villain is a “reputable and popular Mexican politician hiding sexual secrets
C. Mystery The beach seems abandoned except for an annoying robo vac on a cleaning run
INTRIGUE The beachouse sits on a cliff. No one around
SUSPENSE But the living room TV suddenly turns on. Lucky believes he’s in Cuichi’s beach house. Until the real villain suffering a bout of IBS emerges from the bathroom
REVEAL #2
A. Lucky learns Cuichi was engineering a political uprising from Cumaripa
INTRIGUE Lucky sees a Spanish language infomercial starring Cuichi as Maria Jose y Jesus Tito.
MYSTERY Why is Cuichi using an alias? What is the English translation of the infomercial?
SUSPENSE: The infomercial agitates The REAL VILLAIN to near violence
REVEAL #3
A.The Real villain no longer wants Cuichi dead. He wants alive
SUSPENSE: THE REAL VILLAIN makes clear his harmful intentions towards Lucky.
MYSTERY Yet he feeds Lucky an elaborate lunch
INTRIGUE: THE REAL VILLAIN seems to know a lot about Lucky
REVEAL #4 The real villain knows nothing about Cuichi’s past
MYSTERY WHy?
INTRIGUE The real villain is finding Lucky a valuable information tool re: Cuichi
REVEAL #5
Lucky Learns that the real villain has a male lover who needs a bone marrow transplant
MYSTERY During their lunch Lucky hears a sound familiar to him. There is someone else in the house besides Lucky, The villain and the domestic
MYSTERY What does the lover have to do with all this
SUSPENSE THE REAL VILLAIN will kill Lucky’s curiosity
INTRIGUE The villain is hiding his lover
REVEAL #6
The Real Villain’s lover doesn’t want the transplant. He wants to die clean!
SUSPENSE An argument is escalated between the villain and his lover
INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN won’t have Lucky “disappeared.” Yet.
MYSTERY Why?
INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN knows Lucky will lure Cuichi
REVEAL #7 The villain’s lover and Cuichi are related (subject for further development) possibly father and son.
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</div><div>PETER FELIZ DRAMATIC REVEALS ASSIGNMENT: (AMENDED) What I learned is </div><div>THIS is a GREAT brainstorming tool for making the implausible and the hokey appear possibly…Also helped me find alternatives for dialogue for reveals. I’m only doing it for this beat now because of time constraints and this is the most hokey beat of my project. Still hokey but it has more potential now</div><div>DURING BEAT #11: ALL IS LOST BEAT</div><div>REVEAL #1.</div><div>A. Lucky wakes up in the beach house of the REAL VILLAIN.</div><div>B. The real villain is a “reputable and popular Mexican politician hiding sexual secrets</div><div>C. mystery The beach seems abandoned except for an annoying robo vac on a cleaning run</div><div>INTRIGUE The beach house sits on a cliff. No one around</div><div>SUSPENSE But the living room TV suddenly turns on. Lucky believes he’s in Cuichi’s beach house. Until the real villain suffering a bout of IBS emerges from the bathroom</div><div>
</div><div>REVEAL #2</div><div>
</div><div>A. Lucky learns Cuichi was engineering a political uprising from Cumaripa </div>B. Cuichi was just a disposable political to the Real Villain. Now the Real Villain considers Lucky a disposable enemy
<div>C. INTRIGUE Lucky sees a Spanish language infomercial starring Cuichi as Maria Jose y Jesus Tito.</div><div>MYSTERY Why is Cuichi using an alias? What is the English translation of the infomercial?</div><div>SUSPENSE: The infomercial agitates The REAL VILLAIN to near violence</div><div>
</div><div>REVEAL #3</div><div>A.The Real villain no longer wants Cuichi dead. He needs Cuichi alive. </div>B. The real villain needs Cuichi to keep his secret lover alive
C. SUSPENSE: THE REAL VILLAIN makes clear his harmful intentions towards Lucky.
<div>MYSTERY Yet he feeds Lucky an elaborate lunch</div><div>INTRIGUE: THE REAL VILLAIN seems to know a lot about Lucky</div><div>
</div><div>REVEAL #4</div>A. The real villain knows nothing about Cuichi’s past.
B. The Real Villain needs to quietly capture and detain Cuichi
C. MYSTERY Why?
<div>INTRIGUE The real villain is finding Lucky a valuable information tool re: Cuichi</div>
<div>DURING BEAT #12: DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL</div>
<div>REVEAL #1. A. Lucky Learns that the real villain has a male lover who needs a bone marrow transplant. </div>
B. The Real Villain desperately quietly loves “his boy”
<div>C. MYSTERY During their lunch Lucky hears a sound familiar to him. There is someone else in the house besides Lucky, The villain and the domestic</div><div>MYSTERY What does the lover have to do with all this</div><div>SUSPENSE THE REAL VILLAIN will kill Lucky’s curiosity</div><div>INTRIGUE The villain is hiding his lover</div><div>
</div><div>REVEAL #2 </div>A. The Real Villain’s lover doesn’t want the transplant. He wants to die clean!
B. The Real Villain is going to force the operation on “his boy” anyway
<div>SUSPENSE An argument is escalated between the villain and his lover</div><div>INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN won’t have Lucky “disappeared.” Yet.</div><div>MYSTERY Why?</div>
INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN knows Lucky will lure Cuichi
<div>
</div><div>REVEAL #3 </div>A. The villain’s lover and Cuichi are related (subject for further development) possibly father and son.
<div>B. Lucky sees something unusual about the lover’s appearance he can’t figure out </div>
C.INTRIGUE Something of the boy reminds him of Cuichi.
MYSTERY What is it about the boy that reminds him of Cuichi?
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</div><div>REVEAL #4 LUCKY ESCAPES THE REAL VILLAIN</div><div>A. Lucky discovers Chilorio Vega burning down </div>B. The Federales in an act of vengeance against Lucky/Cuichi/aThe real villain burn down Chilorio Vega
C.MYSTERY Who and why? INTRIGUE The Federales raided it searching for Lucky. Caused fire as collateral damage SUSPENSE The FEDERALES are closing in on Lucky. A gas explosion from the fire effects Lucky’s escape. SUSPENSE Lucky’s passport is destroyed in the fire INTRIGUE Lucky is trapped in Mexico now.
REVEAL #5 A. Santos C. Vega Jr. & his sister try to hide Lucky in a dumpster.
B. Even though they are destitute, the Vegas are loyal to Lucky
C. MYSTERY The dumpster is hitched to a truck. Where is the truck taking Lucky?
SUSPENSE Every time the truck stops Lucky could be caught. The dumpster is rat infested
<div>INTRIGUE The dumpster is abandoned </div>
MYSTERY Where? Why?
SUSPENSE Is it safe? Is it safe? It’s dark.
BEAT #13 DURING BREAK INTO 3
REVEAL #1 Cuichi is Lucky dumpster ride destination
B. Cuichi convinced the Vegas he is Lucky’s salvation.
C. MYSTERY What happened to Santos C Vega Jr and his sister?
INTRIGUE Cuichi needs to find out what transpired between Lucky and the Real Villain
SUSPENSE Cuichi is aiming a gun at Lucky and demanding Lucky get into a getaway Jeep Cherokee. The Jeep’s “check engine light” is flashing
MYSTERY Where is Cuichi taking Lucky?
REVEAL #2
A. Lucky figures out Cuichi is a bone marrow match for his illegitimate son
B. Lucky will do or say anything now to save his own skin
INTRIGUE But Cuichi doesn’t believe that. Instead believes Lucky is betraying him to the Real Villain. MYSTERY Did Lucky betray Cuichi? SUSPENSE They are traveling on a narrow mountain road at night
SUSPENSE They are stuck behind an unmuffled, exhaust spewing VW Bus.
MYSTERY Are they both in a trap?
REVEAL #3 ROADBLOCK
A. IT IS THE END OF THE ROAD FOR LUCKY AND CUICHI MYSTERY
B. 3 military rifle toting teenagers block the road. They work for Cuichi. They are to kill Lucky on Cuichi’s order
C. SUSPENSE they aim and ready their rifles at Lucky.
DURING BEAT #14 FINALE REVEAL #1
A. The teens are part of Cuichi’s army
B. They will execute Lucky on Cuichi’s say so.
C.MYSTERY what will the do to Lucky? SUSPENSE Will Cuichi have the boys kill Lucky?
REVEAL #2
A. Lucky says the Real Villain’s lover has beady eyes like Cuichi except one is black and one is green.
B. This is what convinces Cuichi that Lucky’s not lying about the Real Villain’s lover
C. SUSPENSE Will the boys kill Lucky MYSTERY Why is Cuichi startled? Why does Cuichi pauses Lucky’s execution?
INTRIGUE Cuichi’s old mistress had unmatched eye color.
REVEAL #3
A.Cuichi orders one of the boys to escort Lucky to the border in Spanish.
B. Cuichi is a sociopath, but not a murderous one
C.INTRIGUE Lucky thinks Cuichi is having him killed spits in Cuichi’s s face.
MYSTERY Where is Lucky going?
SUSPENSE The boy may kill Lucky
REVEAL #4 A.Near the border the boy gives Lucky back his passport
B. The teenager is no murderer either.
C.MYSTERY WTF.
INTRIGUE Lucky is ordered to cross the border SUSPENSE Will Lucky make it across.
DURING BEAT #15 FINAL IMAGE REVEAL #1
A. Two Years later Lucky is shopping at the Food City Mexican Megamarket where Cuichi is now working
B. Unbeknownst to Lucky
C. MYSTERY Who is the butcher’s aid prepping Lucky’s order
SUSPENSE The butcher’s aid (hidden from Lucky spits on Lucky ‘s order before wrapping it
INTRIGUE The aid (blond headed Cuichi) gets the last word muttering “We’re even now, Mr. Toughie…”
<div>Cross our fingers the formatting works</div><div>
</div><div>© 2023 – Screenwriting classes</div> -
Leslie’s dramatic reveals
What I am learning with these lessons is adding further meat to the story, learning that clarity is needed with these techniques, and to set them up is efficient ways to move the story quickly. As the lessons unfold, the story I’m trying to form gets better. I may have to go back at the end, as in Sixth Sense, to show some of the clues? All of the clues?
important reveals:
#1 PM – who PM is won’t be revealed until the end (haven’t decided if he’s an operative who faked his own death in order to get out of the business and became trans in order to do it)
Clues: pretty man, happy and normal thrown into a terrible set of victim scenarios. Chest scars and tatoos. Emotionally acting out more than expected, easily frustrated or understandably so? Personality changes as his troubles mount from victim to turning the tables. Then becomes a surprisingly ruthless and surgical killing machine.
#2 Who was PM’s friend killed in car crash. Also reveals at the end to be PM’s spouse and they were on their honeymoon.
Clues: Pretty man celebrating with his friend seems innocuous
Mystery? What is celebration? Turns out later to be a honeymoon party
What significance is the pub at all? Why do they need to leave?
Reveal: the pub is really a gay bar with many of the women there are in drag and need to go so as not to be charged by police;
Mystery: Why is family more angry than sad when informed of friend’s death?
Reveal: family disapproves of the gay life;
Mystery: does family even know who PM really is? (may not be revealed to them)
Intrigue/Mystery: Who is Random woman who is barely noticed but in so many scenes?
Reveals: she is hired by family to follow PM and their son (the friend who is killed in crash); reports to family then betrays both family and hero and maybe is a former colleague who finally recognizes PM.
#3 Villain’s reason for messing with people including killing them –
Mystery: why does V go out of his way to hurt others?
Reveal: sociopathic rich person addicted to power and inflicting pain fed by viral hits and money it makes for him on social media,
Reveal: secretly drawn to and hates his own homosexuality and PM excites him. an unplanned for ‘benefit’.
Clues: aide and henchmen are all pretty men; fatal flaws thinking money is all that is needed to control others; money is the only reason anyone is with him at all.
#4 Who is this Random woman showng up?
Reveal: actually worked for the dead friend’s family and or lawyer associate to spy on PM and friend.
Mystery: Why does villain’s aide thinks she be bought and will deliver note and money to hotel? (everyone can be, he thinks BUT since he’s also conflicted and wants to sabotage, may hope she won’t do as he pays her to do)
Reveal: She takes note and money from aide, agrees to deliver to hotel desk, she sees aide watching her go to the desk, but when aide leaves, she takes the money and leaves the now confusing / suspicious note.
Clues about Random woman: in the background at gay bar; walks through hospital; is on the street by Embassy and Hotel lobby, is seen in a phone booth/ or turning away to talk on her phone; When hero calls attorney, attorney takes another call (from random woman);
Makes herself noticed by V’s aide to get the note and hotel payment. Phones friend’s family to report. (may turn out to have been a colleague to PM in former life and finally recognizes)
#5 Why is the Aide even wth the villain?
Aide secretly hates villain but also addicted to him( money; rich lifestyle and social status), then seeks revenge for the car crash also and sabotages villains plan even unto his own demise. (Money can’t buy everything?)
Clues: hates it when V throws drink in woman’s face then controls and crashes her car.
Aide liked the woman more than let on, maybe more than he even knew,
Mystery: Why does Aide try to dissuade V from further messing with hero? Wants to change but maybe can’t, so tries to sabotage V’s attempts with hero; then when chips are down is devasted that V won’t lift a finger to save him from the hero.
Suspense: Is the aide dead?
Reveal: seems not… since aide provide corroburation to the police that hero was only trying to defend himself against the insane sadism of the villain.
Mystery: Why does aide “help” the hero even after hero nearly killed him?
Reveal: Random woman is somehow known to aide as well? More to figure out.
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Subject line: Jim Thompson’s Dramatic Reveals (place in first line)
“What I learned is…?”
This lesson helped me begin the restructuring. I still need to work on the MIS around each and put them together in the Thriller Map. However, I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve modified the ‘map’ to include the reveals. They still need work, particularly in the area of drama and making sure the mystery, intrigue and suspense are at the right level for each.
ASSIGNMENT:
Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience. <div>
Reveal — The first Fargo safe house has indications of additional houses, apartments, and garages in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND.
Therefore, this is a huge. complex operation requiring large funds and sophistication
This must be the work of either a domestic or foreign terrorist group.
Reveal – There is a Sioux Falls, SD safe house location containing the Mustard powder manufacturing and some mixed gas facility.
Discovery and surveillance show at least one individual in the house.
Reveal – Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, owns the house and a SCUBA diving business including filling air tanks.
Dixon is a former member of the US Army Special Forces as a weapons sergeant and is a current member of a native American protest group.
The take down of the house does not go well for the HRT due to booby traps and IEDs which kill and injure several operators.
Everett Dixon is ‘vaporized’ in an explosion as the HRT takes the house.
Jennifer Andrews is among the injured.
Reveal – The fake cell towers used in the power system infrastructure attacks were leasing land paid for by Midsouth Mobility, LLC.
This company is a shell within a shell but eventually FBI accountants trace funds back to banks in Lichtenstein.
The FBI and Interpol go after the funding in these accounts.
Reveal – The weapons used in the infrastructure attacks were stolen from US military armories but the thefts were more than 10 years ago and were ‘commando-like’.
Reveal – After going through the hundreds of killed and thousands injured in Fargo, Jeff and Jorge discover a small number of civilians belong to the same extended family and most resided outside the primary Fargo attacks.
M.I.S. – the attack across multiple cities is huge and uses WDM (Mustard powder) to expand the scope.
Confusion and cover-up by the total number of people killed and injured.
Letters delivered to media sites indicate a campaign against courts by Native Americans.
Beginning of political and media pressure to identify, arrest, or kill the terrorist group leaders.
Multiple Native American leaders state there are no terrorist activity by any of the tribes.
Reveal – Fourteen civilians killed in the Fargo attacks had been part of a jury more than 15 years ago.
The number killed in the attack slows down the discovery process.
The trial was for Grace Miller who died 15 years ago.
The extended family killed were related to Grace and won a verdict against her.
Grace’s husband, Scott, is still alive but is 71 years old working as a computer network security engineer.
One of her daughters is a US Army CID warrant officer.
Her son is a US Army Special Forces engineering sergeant who would be an expert with explosives including IEDs.
Reveal – Scott is an engineer and expert in cloud computing, security, advanced encryption techniques, automation, and artificial intelligence.
He has multiple patents and copyrights.
Reveal – Scott worked as a reserve Police Officer and Deputy Sheriff for about 15 years.
Reveal – Scott retired from the US Army after 30 years as a Special Operations warrant officer with more than 20 years in Special Mission Units.
Their daughter and son both are overseas during the Fargo attacks.
Scott was working in Atlanta and stayed there the weekend of the attacks.
Scott’s personnel file has more redacted portions than open.
2. Build any improvements into your Thriller Map.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Mystery 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
Reveal — The first Fargo safe house has indications of additional houses, apartments, and garages in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND. Therefore, this is a huge. complex operation requiring large funds and sophistication This must be the work of either a domestic or foreign terrorist group.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 6 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp.
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 6 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 7 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 8 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a same house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Reveal – There is a Sioux Falls, SD safe house location containing the Mustard powder manufacturing and some mixed gas facility. Discovery and surveillance show at least one individual in the house.
Reveal – Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, owns the house and a SCUBA diving business including filling air tanks. Dixon is a former member of the US Army Special Forces as a weapons sergeant and is a current member of a native American protest group. The take down of the house does not go well for the HRT due to booby traps and IEDs which kill and injure several operators. Everett Dixon is ‘vaporized’ in an explosion as the HRT takes the house. Jennifer Andrews is among the injured.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
Reveal – After going through the hundreds of killed and thousands injured in Fargo, Jeff and Jorge discover a small number of civilians belong to the same extended family and most resided outside the primary Fargo attacks. M.I.S. – the attack across multiple cities is huge and uses WDM (Mustard powder) to expand the scope. Confusion and cover-up by the total number of people killed and injured. Letters delivered to media sites indicate a campaign against courts by Native Americans. Increasing political and media pressure to identify, arrest, or kill the terrorist group leaders. Multiple Native American leaders state there are no terrorist activity by any of the tribes.
Mystery 9 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group Why were they killed?
Life Threatening Event 8 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and put emphasizes her AFO duties.
Trust: Williams has known Andrews for years from being her commanding officer in the Army to encouraging her to apply to the FBI and then sponsoring her for selection into the FBI’s HRT, finally letting her create an Advanced Force Operations (AFO) cell within the HRT.
Distrust: Andrews presents the findings from the Fargo PD detectives, Williams seems to agree but when discourages Walters from agreeing.
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe houses prove to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Midsouth Mobility, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than ten years ago.
Reveal – The fake cell towers used in the power system infrastructure attacks were leasing land paid for by Midsouth Mobility, LLC. This company is a shell within a shell but eventually FBI accountants trace funds back to banks in Lichtenstein. The FBI and Interpol go after the funding in these accounts.
Reveal – The weapons used in the infrastructure attacks were stolen from US military armories but the thefts were more than 10 years ago and were ‘commando-like’ raids.
Mystery 10 – The civilians killed were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
Reveal – Fourteen civilians killed in the Fargo attacks had been part of a jury more than 15 years ago. The number killed in the attack slows down the discovery process.The trial was for Grace Miller who died 15 years ago. The extended family killed were related to Grace and won a verdict against her. Grace’s husband, Scott, is still alive but is 71 years old working as a computer network security engineer. One of her daughters is a US Army CID warrant officer. Her son is a US Army Special Forces engineering sergeant who would be an expert with explosives including IEDs.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Trust: Andrews out of the hospital, brings further evidence to Walters that the perpetrator must have extensive US military and special operations experience
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 11 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 12 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Reveal – Scott is an engineer and expert in cloud computing, security, advanced encryption techniques, automation, and artificial intelligence. He has multiple patents and copyrights.
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Trust: Andrews believes the evidence and information the Fargo PD detectives have gathered.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 13 – Who is Scott Miller?
Reveal – Scott worked as a reserve Police Officer and Deputy Sheriff for about 15 years.
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 14 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Reveal – Scott retired from the US Army after 30 years as a Special Operations warrant officer with more than 20 years in Special Mission Units. Their daughter and son both are overseas during the Fargo attacks. Scott was working in Atlanta and stayed there the weekend of the attacks. Scott’s personnel file has more redacted portions than open.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 15 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 16 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Distrust: Walters has Andrews suspended for failure to follow orders and insubordination.
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 17 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 18 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years.
Reveal — The Delta operatives reach out to the ISA to get ‘read on’ to projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks until the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and get back to her AFO duties.
Distrust: Williams and Walters under political pressure to find a foreign terrorist group which the US can attack, work to disgrace Andrews within the FBI.
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 12 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 19 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 13 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 20 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 21 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue and even increase.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 22 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. Scott was a plank owner for the AFO G Squadron and an expert in singleton intelligence operations which he perfected at the Activity. If he is the perp, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 16 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron warning her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 17 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 23 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 18 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 19 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 24 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 184- Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 25 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
3. Tell us about the reveals you built into your Thriller Map.
(a) Act l becomes much more about the terrorist attack with reveals to lead Jennifer et all away from the Villain’s plan. </div>
(b) Use the political and media pressure to force the reveals on the infrastructure.
(c) Moved the discovery of the family connection and jury to Act ll.
(d) Still need work on the FBI accounting and ‘following the money’ and were it leads.
(e) Reveals for Scott need to wait until Act lll.
The story arc becomes more of a standard ‘crime story’.
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