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Lesson 11
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3 Replies
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Subject line: Stephen Maynard Turning Point 1 Scenes
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” This is where the writer jolts the hero into awareness of the gravity of the predicament he faces. Put him in a situation where his options are “kill or be killed”, metaphorically that is.
Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
BEGINNING: Boys ponder the problem.
MIDDLE: Boys weigh the consequences of inaction.
END: Boys identify the improbable path they must pursue and resolve to take it.
Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
EXT. GREYSTONE HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY TURNING POINT 1
Stevie and Johnny follow Chuey. The puppy takes off chasing a grasshopper. They turn and look back toward the house where Pearl stands, hose in hand, sprinkling her flower garden.
Johnny
Find the one who signed that ball and we
got the one that forged her signature.
STEVIE
Doable. But we need to make some fast
money.
JOHNNY
This is the real challenge. We deal with this or
Miss Pearl loses everything —
STEVIE
And there goes our side hustle… Confucius
say, money talkie and bullshit walkie.
JOHNNY
Chuey’s been watching the business channel.
Maybe he can pick a few winners.
STEVIE
Alea iacta est.
JOHNNY
The die is cast.
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Subject line: Jennifer Williams – Turning Point 1 Scenes
1. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
· What I learned doing this assignment is to honestly recognize the connection between the inciting incident and the turning point. In addition, understand how important it is to outline your ideas first and then break them down using beginning, middle, and end sections; this way, you see the scenes unfold. Most importantly, I learned that this method allows you to see what sequence of events works and what doesn’t. I can quickly move scenes and/or change them.
2. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
ACT 1
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>TURNING POINT
BEGINNING
INT. LYLE’S HOME – NIGHT
Lyle tries to contact Selenáe. He learns of Cindy’s interference.
MIDDLE
EXT./INT. LYLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Lyle goes to the airport.
END
EXT./INT. LYLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Lyle contacts Karen to share his plans.
BEGINNING
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
Ignores the messages from Lyle and cries all the way home.
MIDDLE
INT. GYM – DAY
MONTH LATER…
Delores, Kendra, and Mauri continue their workout routine. Delores has not heard from Lyle, but James makes his interest known.
END
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
Delores confesses to Kendra she’s been reaching out to Lyle. Kendra reminds her James is there for her.
3. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
BEGINNING
INT. LYLE’S HOME – NIGHT
Lyle calls Selenáe, leaves a voicemail, and texts her to no avail. He receives a call from Cindy and learns what transpired between her and Selenáe.
MIDDLE
EXT./INT. LYLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Lyle takes off for the airport to try and stop Selenáe.
END
EXT./INT. LYLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Lyle calls Karen to share that he plans to propose to Selenáe, but is involved in an accident.
BEGINNING
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
Ignoring the messages from Lyle, after crying all the way home on the two-hour flight and the car ride home, she decides to be alone, not contacting Mauri, due to her state of mind.
MIDDLE
INT. GYM – DAY
MONTH LATER…
Delores, Kendra, and Mauri continue their workout routine. A month has passed, but Delores has not heard from Lyle since his message the night she left. However, James has begun enthusiastically pursuing her.
END
INT. DELORES’ HOME – NIGHT
Delores confesses to Kendra that she has tried contacting Lyle but has not responded. Kendra reminds her that she and James have always been the relationship she should commit.
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Steve Jones Act 1 Turning Point Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is I can get into the writing so much more easily than I could before I started using this method.
Outline turning point scene
INT. MORGUE – DAY
BEGINNING: Harry and the robot go to the morgue.
MIDDLE: They find out about how the illegal was killed. Harry wonders why this method was used.
END: Harry speculates that someone is using illegal immigrants to smuggle something to Mars. He’s appalled, interested and puzzled. For the first time in years, he’s interested in a case.
INT. MARS CITY ONE MORGUE – DAY
Harry and the robot enter a sterile, featureless room. There’s a chair on one wall and a small woman standing alone in the center of the room. She’s leaning over and moving her hands around at stomach height. She’s also wearing a pair of opaque glasses and thin gloves. This is the Coroner TRACY SPENCER. She’s mid-fifties, sharp and sharp tongued.
TRACY
Sit down and shut up.
Harry sits down on the chair. The robot looks around for another but sees none so he squats into a seated position without the need for a chair.
Tracy continues her bizarre mime for a few seconds.
TRACY (cont’d)
Well, that explains a lot.
Tracy stands up and takes off the glasses. She presses her right palm in a few places with her left forefinger. Slowly, a platform rises from the floor until it’s at her waist height.
TRACY (cont’d)
Have a look at this, Mr detective.
Harry gets up and comes to the table. She taps the ball of her thumb and a 3D rendering of the murdered illegal appears on the table. He’s naked but looks unharmed. There’s no sign of the injuries that killed him.
HARRY
What have you got?
Tracy looks quizzically at the robot.
HARRY (cont’d)
I know.
Tracy smiles to herself.
HARRY (cont’d)
Buzzard’s got me by the balls.
Tracy turns back to the table.
TRACY
OK, this is the sequence of events that terminated our friend’s existence on Mars or anywhere else.
As Tracy speaks, the 3D rendering shows what she’s telling Harry.
TRACY (cont’d)
First, an oral incendiary was administered. This ignited a few seconds after contact with the mucous membrane of his esophagus. He was immediately burnt from his buccal cavity through the entire esophagus and into his stomach.
Harry looks at the robot who is leaning over the image to get a better view. It notices Harry looking at him.
HARRY
The robot wants to know what that is in layman’s terms.
TRACY
Of course he does. His mouth, throat and stomach were torched by a pill he swallowed. Probably against his will unless he was suicidal and insane.
HARRY
Not a good way to go?
TRACY
Horrible.
HARRY
So did he jump or was he pushed… Why would someone who’s gone to the extreme lengths of coming all the way to Mars illegally, get here then pop his own cork?
TRAY
Quite. No, this was definitely murder.
HARRY
How can you be 100% sure of that?
TRACY
Because of this.
She zooms in on the throat area of the rendering and rotates the image so Harry and the robot can see an area of the neck.
TRAY
See where the fire burnt all the way through his throat and came out the neck?
HARRY
I guess. What dos that mean? Hot spot?
TRACY
No. Someone made a small cut in his neck before they burnt him.
HARRY
How big?
TRACY
So big. Maybe an inch long. But very localized.
HARRY
Why would they do that? Nowhere near the jugular?
Carina shakes her head.
HARRY (cont’d)
Some form of threat to make him take the pill?
Carina shakes her head.
CARINA
It was deep and bigger at the bottom.
HARRY
Like there was something inside him they were removing?
Carina nods her head.
CARINA
Give that man a chocolate certificate.
Harry is wide-eyed.
HARRY
Wait. So someone comes to Mars illegally. If I didn’t know better, there was a decoy to distract us from spotting him at the port. Then he nearly gets away but I’m on him. So whoever did this, was running out of time. But they made him swallow the pill after they’d cut his neck to extract something he was carrying…no, smuggling into Mars! They then burnt the evidence to hide anything we might learn because we found him and stopped them from disposing of his body how they’d planned.
ROBOT
I find that scenario extremely unlikely.
Harry and Carina both glance at the robot.
CARINA
Did you know it could do that?
HARRY
Talk?
CARINA
Yes.
HARRY
No.
They ignore the robot and carry on.
CARINA
What you say fits. It’s a huge leap but it all fits. If there’s another explanation for the physical evidence I haven’t come up with it so I say run with your theory. Run like the wind.
HARRY
I can’t believe that some evil fucker is smuggling something into Mars inside illegal immigrants who are hiding behind other decoy illegals to get through unnoticed. What a devious, slippery… GENIUS! This is amazing! Finally, an interesting case.
CARINA
That’s my caring Harry.
HARRY
Don’t get me wrong, this is horrible and the guy (points at the rendering on the table) needs his killer hung drawn and quartered. But what a case! This is genius level, fucked up psycho murder shit! And it’s my case! Thank you Mr Psycho and thank you Buzzard.
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