Lesson 11

[Timothy Barley]

Tim’s lesson 11

[Raz Ray]

Les Ray Level 2 Action Emotions.

What I learned doing this assignment is? I learned that playing with the emotions of the characters is fun. And providing strange twists makes the scene more engaging.

SURPRISE: The Hero has been transported into the future with her special weapon, a king cobra snake. She meets a group of soldiers whose mission is to keep her alive at all costs. The problem is the environment of the future is hazardous to someone from the past. The Hero immediately starts choking, gagging, and vomiting.

SHOCK: One of the medic soldiers pulls out a long needle and suggests injecting her with vaccines that would keep her alive but alter her DNA state. The other soldier tells the commander that’s a bad idea because we need the Hero to be as pure as possible, and giving her vaccines would jeopardize their future mission. The unit commander has to choose whether to give the hero the vaccines to save her life or hope she lives so they can use her for their future mission.

SUSPENSE: While arguing, the unique King Cobra snake sneaks up and bites the suffering Hero, injecting it with its venom. The team is shocked that the snake got the best of them but quickly realizes that the venom in the snake is saving the hero, allowing it to adapt to the environment.

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[David Halligan]

Dave’s Level 2 Action Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment:

There are dark parts to this Action Comedy. This is one of them.

Outline Scene: Surprise, Shock, Suspense

The Villain discovers the Hero’s secret shortcut through an old mine.

The Villain blackmails the Hero’s most trusted employee.

The Villain and some robots block the path.

First Draft of Scene:

EXT. VILLAIN’S LAIR – DAY

A gated Modernist mansion. Shiny and spotless. It looks welcoming and safe as we move through the rooms but a voice over by the Villain informs us that he is forcing someone to reveal details of the Hero’s route.

When we reach the Villain, we see that the informant is the Hero’s most trusted employee. The betrayal is bitter and shocking as he reveals the Hero’s secret shortcut through a deserted mine.

INT. MINE – DAY

The Villain and some robots rig a trap. One robots is left behind to self-destruct when the Hero rides his scooter through the tunnel.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Actions/Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment: That creating a scene with suspense, surprise and shock is challenging! That pacing is crucial to building suspense. That the element of surprise is thrilling for the reader/audience.

Scene Outline:

Skye has rescued Leah and taken her to a safe house out in the countryside. At first all seems safe. Skye comforts her sister, who is still in a state of shock. She lights a fire, wraps her in a throw blanket, brings her tea. She does a walk-around of the property, checking all the locks. She sets the house alarm. The two sisters fall asleep by the fire.

Suspense

Early in the morning, Skye awakes from the sound of crunching on the gravel outside. She listens. Definitely someone out there. She wakes Leah and leads her to a hiding place in the cellar. She punches a code into the electronically locked closet and opens it to reveal a cache of weapons. She takes a rifle and stands by the living room window, peering out. She hears the sound again. Then tapping on the front door window. A pause. The footfalls on gravel continue around the house. Skye slips out the front door, gun ready, follows the sound in her stocking feet. She sees a figure in black heading away from her around the house. “Stop right there. I’m armed.”

The figure freezes. “Turn around slowly, arms in the air.” The figure turns around.

Surprise

It’s Jade.

Relief

Skye exhales, visibly relieved. “Oh, God, Jade. I thought…” Four armed figures in black military gear flood out of the garage. “I’m sorry, Skye.”

Shock

Skye stands in shock for an instant, then goes into battle mode.

Executed Scenes:

EXT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Skye pulls up to the farmhouse on her motorcycle with Leah behind her. The two women dismount the bike. Skye stands it near the garage.

SKYE
We should be safe here, Leah. Jade arranged it.

Leah nods silently. Follows Skye to the front door.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Stay here until I check it out.

Skye punches in the code, opens the door and enters. Leah waits.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Skye and Leah stand in the middle of the living room feeling out their surroundings: rustic but modern, fireplace, wood stacked beside it, comfy sofas and throws. Large windows look out on a snowy field.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EVENING

Skye comforts her sister, who is still in a state of shock. She lights a fire, wraps Leah in a throw blanket, brings her tea.

She punches a code into the an electronically locked closet. Opens it to reveal a cache of weapons. She takes out a semi- automatic rifle.

EXT.FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EVENING

Skye does a walk-around of the property, checking all the locks.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EVENING

Skye steps back into the house, shuts the door, sets the house alarm which has a speaker system that amplifies outdoor sounds. The two sisters fall asleep by the fire.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EARLY MORNING

Skye awakes from the sound over the speaker system of CRUNCHING on the gravel outside. She listens. Definitely someone out there. She shakes Leah to wake her.

SKYE (whispering)

Leah. Leah, get up. Leah wakes, groggy.

LEAH

What?

SKYE
Get up now. There’s someone out there. Come with me.

Leah wraps a throw around herself, follows Skye who leads her to a hiding place in the cellar.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Stay down there until I come back.

Leah starts to climb down into the cellar.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Wait.

Skye runs to the closet and returns with a hand gun.

SKYE (CONT’D)

Take this.

LEAH

Skye…I…

Skyes stares hard into Leah’s eyes.

SKYE

Leah. You got this.

Leah takes the gun, climbs down into the cellar. Skye rolls a carpet over the cellar door. Goes to the side of the living room window, semi in hand, and peers out.

CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH. Footfalls on gravel. A pause, then more crunching. TAP, TAP, TAP. Someone at the door. Skye stays silent and out of view. Again, TAP, TAP, TAP.

Nothing.

Skye waits. The crunching footfalls continue but fade. Skye slips silently out the front door in her stocking feet.

She sees a figure in black heading away from her around the house.

SKYE (CONT’D)

Stop right there. I’m armed.

The figure freezes.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Turn around slowly, arms in the air.

The figure obeys. It’s Jade.

Skye exhales, visibly relieved.

SKYE (CONT’D)

Oh, God, Jade. I thought–

Four armed figures in black military gear flood out of the garage.

JADE
I’m so sorry, Skye.

Skye stands in shock for an instant, then goes into battle mode.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Level2 Action Emotions: Surprise, Shock and Suspense.

What I learned…is that how these level2 action emotions help to transition the story to a higher level and keep the action going on a definite path. From Anxiety, Fear and Relief to Surprise, Shock and Suspense – all known ingredients I knew I had to build in but this is a clear defined path to working them in.

Outline of a scene(s) that includes use surprise, shock, and suspense:

Surprise:

As the hero enters the black market for the first time, he sees how easily all of the hardware that he needs to set up his secret attack lab, is so easily available. His surprise is further escalated when he sees the level of expertise that the underworld has, masked men, who set up everything and who he is convinced have a regular day job too.

Shock:

The hero’s lab is almost instantly attacked as he is about to set out on his mission of taking the rival gang’s IT infrastructure down. He has to learn very quickly that the underworld is all connected and news of his set up has spread quickly. His shock grows by the minute as he sees their level of mastery of the cyber world and their own nefarious goals to use him to rob crypto to finance their own small time operations.

Suspense:

The hero escapes, but is easily caught and brought back. He is blindfolded, beaten and tortured to teach him a lesson. He wonders if the gang, having taught him a lesson, will take him back to his lab to re-undertake the attack for crypto or will they get rid of him.

[John Puffer]

John’s Level 2 Action Emotions # 11

What I learned…to think of these three elements in a more analytical way that enables me to consider using them in more creative ways.

Outline:

Surprise: Julie finally identifies her client to Evan: Rina Koenig, estranged wife of the mine property owner. Rina has a financial stake in knowing what’s going on at these properties because they’re part of her divorce proceeding. This indicates to Evan that Peter Koenig is behind the mine-site raids and at least two murders.

Shock: Evan finally confesses to Julie that the thugs pursuing them are Russian mafia, diamond-smugglers, but that he doesn’t know why they’re after him – and now, her — precisely.

Suspense: Evan and Julie have hatched a plan to thwart the thugs, but now he knows why all this is happening. Now all that must happen is for the plan to work. Police are involved, but these are international thugs who’ve evaded capture many times before, and are determined to do it again, or die, and take as many others with them as necessary to ensure their own survival. And there are diamonds to retrieve, whereabouts “unknown.”

INT. JULIE’S TOWNHOUSE – DAY

Julie and Evan snuggle in bed, having just made love.

JULIE

Have I softened you up enough to ask a few questions?

EVAN

Are you willing to take turns?

Julie, not keen on that idea.

EVAN

Together we may have all the pieces of the puzzle, Julie. If you don’t share yours with me, well never solve it.

Not much more to think about. Julie wants answers.

JULIE

Rina Koenig.

EVAN

Peter’s wife is your client???

JULIE

She has a financial interest in finding out what’s going on. Your turn.

EVAN

Russian mafia. Diamond smuggling.

JULIE

Jesus Ev’. We’re in a lot of trouble.

EVAN

All I wanted to do was restore my reputation.

JULIE

Reputation means nothing if you’re dead. And these guys won’t stop until we are or they are. (beat)

They can trace my license plate. We can’t stay here.

A SHORT TIME LATER –

DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY

Evan hurries down the stairs toward the –

KITCHEN

He enters, turns on the light – and freezes.

Nikolai Vovk aims a Beretta right at Evan’s heart. Shushes Evan.

FRONT ENTRANCE

Julie grabs her jacket.

JULIE

Ev’, let’s go.

She hustles to the kitchen.

KITCHEN

Julie enters.

JULIE

Evan, we’ve —

She sees Vovk. Freezes.

VOVK

The purse.

Julie tosses. Vovk catches. Takes out the Glock.

VOVK

Very pretty.