Lesson 11

[Blair Marino]

Blair’s Full-out characters

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is to look at each character as a whole, rather than the sum of their parts.

1. Kyle’s current profile:
Description: Kyle is a devoted husband, father, and son.
Core traits: Loyal, insecure, sad, intelligent
Main subtext: Kyle thinks that he will fail at being a single parent to his daughter.

Kyle’s revised profile:
Description: Kyle is a devoted father who must overcome his sadness so that he can take care of his daughter.
Core traits: Loyal, insecure, sad, determined
Main subtext: Kyle turns to alcohol to numb his pain over his dead wife.

2. Chelsea’s current profile:
Description: Daughter of Kyle who has Tourette’s Syndrome.
Core traits: Introvert, shame, independent, uncertain
Main subtext: Chelsea uses her Tourette’s to define her.

Chelsea’s revised profile:
Description: Kyle’s daughter who struggles with her increased tics while she grieves her mother.
Core traits: Introvert, shame, sad, angry
Main subtext: Chelsea argues with her father to cover up her sadness.

3. Terri’s current profile:
Description: Terri is Roxie’s older sister.
Core traits: Caring, independent, sassy, lonely
Main subtext: Terri doesn’t want to be dependent on her mother.

Terri’s revised profile:
Description: Terri is Roxie’s older sister who longs for a romantic relationship.
Core traits: Nurturing, sassy, lonely, wise
Main subtext: Terri thinks her mother is disappointed in her.

[Christopher Fallon]

Ye gads! This website!!!

Chris posts FULL-OUT CHARACTERS.

WHAT I’VE LEARNED THAT IS IMPROVING MY WRITING: You have to have characters who are entertaining. It is far more compelling for a reader/audience to engage with extreme and unique characters instead of passive and generic characters.

Charles:

TRAITS BEFORE:

Respectable and upstanding
Mother dominated
Asexual
Deceptive

DESCRIPTION: Charles is a pillar of the community who does good work .

SUBTEXT: He feels remorse for his ancestor’s crimes

TRAITS AFTER:

Deceptive
Predatory
Merciless
Self-assured

DESCRIPTION: Charles is a pillar of the community who does good work .

SUBTEXT: Charles uses his ‘pillar of the community’ status to deflect suspicion from his own ongoing criminal activity.

JOEY

TRAITS BEFORE:

Charming/smooth
Deceptive
Disloyal
Self-serving

DESCRIPTION: Joey pretends to be motivated by justice in order to persuade someone to commit a crime for his own personal gain.

SUBTEXT: You only live once, so why worry about anyone else except yourself.

TRAITS AFTER:

Sincere
Idealistic
Loyal
Just (as in a lover of Justice)

DESCRIPTION: Joey wants to repay a life-long debt and needs help to do so.

SUBTEXT: The ends (good) justify the means (criminal, and dangerous), no matter who gets hurt.

ROSE

TRAITS BEFORE:

Compliant
Passive
Dutiful
Loyal

DESCRIPTION: Rose agrees to use her talents to commit a crime, believing it to be for a greater good.

SUBTEXT: Rose agrees to commit the crime in order to reconcile with her father.

TRAITS AFTER:

Rebellious
Daring
Sexually adventurous
Secretive

DESCRIPTION: Rose puts herself in harm’s way in order to restore justice (as she perceives it)

SUBTEXT: She is desperately trying to find meaning in her life, and hopes that this potentially life threatening crime might provide it.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Christopher Fallon.

[Deb Johnson]

Deb’s Full-out Characters…

What I learned…. Boring character traits and weak subtext force you to create drama AROUND and TO them. I want to create characters that CAUSE the drama. It’s important to take them to the Extreme and find how they can fulfill the vision of the story.

Character 1 – Gabe, Investigative Journalist

Tough
Charismatic
Impatient
Cautious

Subtext: Gabe reluctantly leads the group in uncovering the typewriter’s mystery and surviving the curse.

REVISED:
Intolerant
Charismatic
Exploiter
Fatalistic

Subtext: Gabe, trapped in a life he hates, will visit his hometown one last time before taking his own life.

Character 2 – Lisa, Paranormal Expert

Soft
Spiritual
Goes along.
Vulnerable

Character Subtext Logline: Lisa provides her physic power to help the group understand the typewriter’s mystery to break the curse and survive.

REVISED:
Demure
Mystical
Duplicitous
Insecure

Subtext: Her secret lover now dead, Lisa is desperate to find someone to care for her.

Character 3 – Aaron, local newsman/historian

Rebellious
Deceptive
Pragmatic
Pot-stirrer

Character Subtext Logline: Aaron dismisses the supernatural and is only interested in saving himself from real threats.

REVISED:
Rebellious
Selfish
Pragmatic
Pot-stirrer

Subtext: Aaron puts others in harms way to protect himself and his interests.

[Deb Johnson]

Additional Note to my classmates:

You may have figured this out already- but here's my workaround for posting.

* Copy and paste the assignment and post.

* Ignore the fact that everything is clumped together. Also, ignore that all of your apostrophes have turned into some strange code.

* Click "edit" and post again (this time the post button will be on the lower left-hand side)

* Now the formatting seems to be okay – though you will probably need to add additional spacing if you want things double spaced.

* Click "edit" to tweak and post again

* there is no need to "keep a log" of any of these edits.

Hope this is helpful.

[Yvonne Arnett]

Yvonne’s – Full-Out Characters

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that
my two main characters lacked substance. Listing character
traits and trying to get out of my comfort zone is helping me.

CURRENT PROFILE- NICK
DESCRIPTION: Nick is a good cop that retires and
becomes a private detective because he lost his wife
during a robbery.

TRAITS: Giving and strong.
SUBTEXT: Nick wants the life he had back.

REVISED PROFILE
DESCRIPTION: Nick is angry with himself and
the world because he survived, but lost his wife
during a gun store robbery. He becomes a Private
Detective to avoid the pain of his past, but is faced
with it when he meets Angela and is pulled into
solving the murder of a friend.

TRAITS: Angry, cynical, focused, and giving.
SUBTEXT: Nick is stuck because he wants what
he had, but comes to realize that you can’t go back.

CURRENT PROFILE – ANGELA
DESCRIPTION: Angela uses Rick in the beginning
to find out if she is a target of a series of murders.
TRAITS: Charming and loving
SUBTEXT: Angela falls for Rick, but is hiding a secret.

REVISED PROFILE
DESCRIPTION: Angela has re-invented herself to
hide a past murder. She must keep her true identity
hidden, because it is directly connected to the current
murders Rick is working on.
TRAITS: Charming, Generous, manipulative, and secretive.
SUBTEXT: Angela falls for Rick which changes
everything.

CURRENT PROFILE – LOUIS
DESCRIPTION: Detective Louis and Rick were
partners previously and Louis gets Rick to come
back as a consultant to assist with a fraud case.
TRAITS: Loyal and trustworthy
SUBTEXT: Louis is a supportive friend.

REVISED PROFILE
DESCRIPTION: Detective Louis is a loyal friend and
is worried about Rick and brings him back as a consultant to
assist in a fraud turned murder investigation.
TRAITS: Sincere, loyal, giving, and a stickler for rules
SUBTEXT: Louis is a supportive friend who is always there for Rick.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Yvonne Arnett.

[Firdaus Bilimoria]

Title: Firdaus F Bilimoria – Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is to enhance characters’ traits and motivations in order to create more compelling character and story arcs. ….

1.
Current Profile
DESCRIPTION: MARIANNA is a survivor of a sex trafficking ring who is still traumatized by her past.
TRAITS: Gentle, Caring, Straightforward, Hard-Working
SUBTEXT: Marianna is traumatized by her past but tries to forget and hopes for a normal life with some happiness in the future.
Revised Profile
DESCRIPTION: MARIANNA is a survivor of a sex trafficking ring who when confronted by her tormentor from the past, unleashes the demons within her.
TRAITS: Hopeful, Stoic, Resilient, Ferocious
SUBTEXT: Marianna conceals inner relentless and ferocious nature, even from herself until the dangers from her past resurface.

2.
Current Profile
DESCRIPTION: RAFAEL is a successful young man of privilege who longs for something or someone meaningful in his life.
TRAITS: Ambitious, Competent, Risk-Averse, Indulgent
SUBTEXT: Rafael is on the fast track in his firm until he meets and falls in love with Marianna who has a hidden past.
Revised Profile
DESCRIPTION: RAFAEL is successful young man who realizes he has to jeopardize his career and privilege to save the woman he loves and stand true to his values.
TRAITS: Ambitious, Aspirational, Compassionate, Brave
SUBTEXT: Rafael finds the courage and moral strength within himself to stand up for the woman he loves even though it will cost him his career.

3.
Current Profile
DESCRIPTION: CHARLES is a cynical and corrupt corporate chieftain who mentors Rafael.
TRAITS: Smooth, Strategic, Machiavellian, Ruthless.
SUBTEXT: Charles recognizes the threat to his firm and Rafael from Rafael’s continued relationship with Marianna.
Revised Profile
DESCRIPTION: CHARLES is a ruthless and cynical corporate chieftain who wants Rafael to sacrifice his love for Marianna as a rite of passage into a senior management role
TRAITS: Machiavellian, Ruthless, Corrupt, Sociopathic
SUBTEXT: Charles is appalled and concerned about Rafael’s relationship with an ex-sex worker, and uses this as an opportunity to initiate Rafael into the cruel realities of life and make Rafael sacrifice his love and ideals as a price of success.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Firdaus Bilimoria.
• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Firdaus Bilimoria.