Lesson 11 Assignment

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Outline

What I learned doing this assignment is… there are many ways to do an outline, but they all involve breaking the character motivation down and integrating it within the necessary dramatic events that tell the story forward. You can tell when the story sags by where the character is in their journey.

Title: Broken Spirits

Genre: Supernatural Romantic-Comedy

Logline: When married ghost hunters plan to divorce, the spirits living in their house plot to reunite them

Act 1:

Opening – Rick and Samantha
were a formidable team who are now on different paths

INT. FARMHOUSE – DAY

MOVIE SEQUENCE TOLD FROM RICK’S POV: A ghost hunting couple uses an ancient ritual book and dowsing poles to cast an evil djinn into an ancient vessel. In the supernatural scuffle the wife is thrown across a room, her sweater gets caught on a door knob, she trips on the rug and knocked unconscious. (Shows the way Rick sees himself as the main hero deserving of recognition)

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO – NIGHT

REVEAL: The scene is a scene from a movie about their most famous case from a book they wrote.

RICK and SAMANTHA COFFEY IRL are hosting a webcast from their basement studio. They’re showing a scene from the movie about their life and work – Rick relives his greatest triumph.

INT. KITCHEN

Their agent says they have been offered the chance to pitch a reality show to producers.

HOPE: Rick Coffey hopes doing a reality series will resurrect his career as a ghost hunting.

Inciting Incident – They get
offered a reality series that would put their plans for a family on hold

INT. BEDROOM

LAYERS: They fight showing they have different plans and dreams for their future. Samantha warns that if they can’t start a family she will leave him.

WOUND: Rick feels inadequate and unsuccessful and fears not being able to support a family or being a failure as a role model.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

DILEMMA: An online caller calls Rick out for not being the master ghost hunter he claims

BETRAYAL: Samantha admits their success came from her and not Rick – he was the one unconscious.

MOTIVATION: Rick blurts out he is indeed a popular ghost hunter because he is doing a reality show.

So Samantha announces she is seeking a divorce.

Turning Point – Rick accepts
the offer without discussing it with Samantha and she files for divorce.

Act 2:

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

INTRIGUE: Set-up plot twist: Caroline, one of the ghosts who lives in the house believes she can gaslight the couple into reuniting. As Caroline explains the plan, two of the ghosts – the nurse and the cowboy are flirting. This is the first time the ghosts have really met or interacted and it’s like spring break in Daytona.

New plan – Caroline decides
to reunite the couple

INT. LIVING ROOM

CHARACTER ARCS: Rick and Samantha are miserable but unwilling to talk it out. Rick tells the agent he will pitch a solo reality show with him traveling the world seeking out paranormal activities. It sounds pathetic without Samantha. His ego will not let him admit he is lost without her or that he misses/needs her because he loves her.

Sam is depressed without Rick because she loves him but makes a choice to become a single mom because she will not let anyone dictate what her dreams and goals should be. Her dream is to be a mother and earn a living writing about paranormal encounters from home – not necessarily being in the field again. She calls Rick about the divorce (but really just to hear his voice) and it turns into a fight about her being able to be a single mom and him not being able to recreate the past.

INT. KITCHEN

PLAN/INTRIGUE/CHALLENGE: Ghosts puts “Operation Merry War” into effect.

As Sam argues with Rick, the plumbing in the kitchen goes wonky. Water spurts everywhere. Caroline believes it they create a haunted house, Samantha will call Rick and they will unite to ghost hunt, naturally rekindling what drew them together. Samantha learns from her lawyer that she can’t sell the house without Rick’s signature on a quitclaim deed.

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

OPERATION MERRY WAR continues. Furniture moves. Weird noises. Samantha has to fix the plumbing and goes into the basement. She has a paranormal experience – the ghosts briefly show themselves in an effort to scare her. She calls Rick who comes over with their agent.

Rick thinks she’s faking just to get him back (his ego!) Then Samantha hits him with signing over the deed so she can sell the house. But the deed goes missing (hidden by the ghosts). The agent tries to get Samantha to do the show offering anything but she still refuses. The ghosts scare the agent who flees. Samantha realizes the ghosts are doing this and demands to speak with Caroline.

MAJOR EVENT: When Caroline doesn’t show, Rick doesn’t believe Samantha about the ghosts manifesting. Samantha calls him useless, but agrees she needs a drink. After drinking, she and Rick are both tipsy and reminiscing. Caroline’s plan is starting to work. The cowboy and nurse having a B-story romance decide to use Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex.

Sam and Rick wake up the morning after with complete memory loss. They have no idea what happened and Sam doesn’t remember – she thinks it was a one off backslide, he’s convinced he’s won her back.

The ghosts escalate their shenanigans, playing with the electricity as well as making sure Rick sees them and gets spooked. Finally, Rick believes there are spirits. He and Samantha put their heads together to decide what is the best course of action to stop the events. Of course they argue which creates more activities designed to keep them together.

LAYERS: Samantha figures out a way to contact Caroline and demands a confrontation. Caroline says she show Samantha where she put the deed.

Plan in action – Caroline
locks Samantha in the house and Rick has to rescue her

MAJOR TWIST: As Samantha goes to the room to get the deed, Caroline locks Samantha in the room with no way out. Only the room does not exist. It’s like she is now trapped in the walls.

Midpoint Turning Point –
Samantha is stuck and Rick does not know what to do.

DILEMMA: Rick is left alone in the house with ghosts he cannot see and no way of finding Samantha. He can only hear her voice. Rick has to stop the events on his own, and now rescue his wife. He has to rise up and be the ghost hunter he’s always claimed to be.

Act 3:

Rethink everything –
Samantha is unable to help so Rick has to become the ghost hunter his ego
always said he was.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Rick has to figure this out on his own. He scans the cases in their book and finds a similar case of a demon in the walls of a hotel. He thinks they can use one of the spells in their demonic ritual book locked in the safe. Samantha agrees and compliments him for coming up with that plan.

INT. BASEMENT

Rick opens the safe. The only things in there are an ancient ritual book and an old cell phone. He takes the book, but in his haste forgets to close the safe.

New plan – Rick remembers
the spell used for something else but it is in Farsi

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

DILEMMA/OBSTACLE: Rick tries to read the pages to Samantha, but they are in another language. Samantha helps him figure out it is Farsi. Fortunately, their agent is Persian and speaks Farsi. Rick manages to convince the agent to come back to the house even though she’s terrified.

CHARACTER ARC: As they work together, they talk out their issues. For the first time in months they are really starting to see each other, trust each other, support each other and they aren’t even in the same room.

FALSE HOPE: The agent translates the ritual for Rick and Samantha, as Rick takes the lead here and conducts the rite to rescue his wife and put the house back in order

INT. BASEMENT

ESCALATING OBSTACLE/DANGER: The agent hears a phone ringing. She tracks it to an odd place, inside the safe. As she answers the phone… It was a trap, the Djinn was trapped inside the phone and is now inside the agent’s body.

1^ST ENDGAME PROBLEM

Turning Point: Huge failure
/ Major shift – the djinn uses their Farsi-speaking friend as his human
vessel

Act 4:

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Rick and Samantha bind the Djinn to them, bringing the demon back just as he is about to kill a pedestrian

TWIST: The Djinn is bound to Rick and he leads the ritual to get the demon to leave the agent

CHALLENGE: The ghosts use their combined force to stop the djinn from thrashing and keeping things from flying at Rick and Samantha.

SET-BACK: The djinn uses the agent’s voice to try to convince them they are killing her.

It works as Samantha breaks concentration. The djinn attacks.

SOLVE 1^ST PROBLEM: But Rick finds the right combination, thinking to look up the djinn’s history from a case Samantha reported on as a journalist (which she didn’t think he’d read) to release the Djinn from the agent’s body.

INT. BASEMENT

Rick and Samantha corner the djinn in the basement.

2^ND ENDGAME PROBLEM:

Final plan – get rid of the
djinn by opening the dimensions that will lead him into the light

EVENT: Rick and Samantha open the heavenly portal whose light shining on the djinn breaks it into particles.

Climax/Ultimate expression
of the conflict – Samantha and Rick work together with Caroline and the
ghosts to open the heavenly dimension.
Resolution – the djinn is
released, two of their ghosts are able to move into the light, Rick and
Samantha reunite to work on a book about the experience and start a
family.

SOLVE 2^ND PROBLEM: As the djinn is PULLED INTO THE LIGHT,

TWIST: the cowboy returns for a brief second to invite the nurse to join him in heaven. She accepts. Caroline cries because it is so romantic.

INT. LIVING ROOM

RESOLVE CRISIS

Rick and Samantha inspect the damage and find the quitclaim deed. They rip it up and say no one will buy the house in this condition anyway

CHARACTER ARC COMPLETE: The remaining ghosts introduce themselves to Rick. The agent is now cognizant and insists this would make a great book. And this should be an episode of their reality show. They can go to Iran and all over the world investigating the origin of these demons.Rick decides he needs to stay and help Samantha clean up and stay close to home. He wants a child to pass all this down to. Happily ever after.

[Beth Bonness]

Beth Bonness’ Outline

What I learned doing this assignment was I could get lost in trying to simplify and second guess all the good layering work I’d done up to this point by overworking the clay. Plus, the layers seemed more like notes going into the writing and where exactly they’ll be placed will happen during the writing, and the examples given weren’t really like what the final outline looks like — so….go for it!

Title: Library

Genre: Paranormal Thriller
Logline: Determined to ward off the ghost of her father, a psychic collects secrets from three stranded couples for her thought library at a secluded lodge, but will that be enough?

Act 1
INT. LODGE BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
OPENING/PSYCHIC BEGINNING: Psychic’s Ghost Father searches for her while she sleeps to suck all her energy. She keeps him at bay by collecting other people’s thoughts (secrets are best because they are so dense) and hides under a protective thought blanket until her Ghost Father gives up and leaves this multiverse to search another. He holds a red child’s ball, the same one in a picture of them when she was young.
PSYCHIC MOTIVATION WANT/NEED & WOUND: collect secrets from strangers/prove herself to her dead psychic father she’s a capable psychic, but doesn’t want him to take all her life energy to prove it.
SCHEME SURFACE/SHIFT IN MEANING SURFACE: lots of psychic paraphernalia including little thought jars of different colored liquids.

EXT./INT. LODGE ENTRANCE/RECEPTION – DAY
Psychic welcomes three couples as they check-in to a secluded lodge: a Trans Couple to plan their wedding, Biracial Sisters for their parents’ funeral, and a forgetful Retired Couple on a romantic getaway. Psychic asks leading questions to start uncovering their secrets.
HIDDEN OPERATION SURFACE/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD SURFACE: lodge with psychic specialty gift shop.
HOPE: Couples are hopeful for a weekend away.
TRANSCOUPLE BEGINNING/1 THING ANOTHER SURFACE/INTRIGUE LAYERS SURFACE: On a romantic get away to work out their wedding plans; she wants a big wedding, he wants to elope.
TRANSMAN MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: convince fiancée to elope/approval from his parents on transition.
TRANSMAN SECRET/WOUND: hasn’t told his parents/teased as a child for being a tomboy by black girl.
TRANSWOMAN MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: big wedding/validation of relationship.
TRANSWOMAN SECRET/WOUND: poker player w/debts/mother’s an alcoholic & she started sneaking alcohol as a teenager when beat up by boys at school when caught wearing girl’s clothes.
SISTERS BEGINNING/HIDDEN HISTORY, INTRIGUE & HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP SURFACE: attending their poly parents’ funeral; Black Sister’s a quantum physics who despite being pissed at her racist white father, wants to keep poly relationship secret from her newly discovered Christian sister; White Sister’s a personal chef and very judgmental about alternative lifestyles, knows she has a sister who is an Atheist and wants to save her from hell.
BLACK SISTER MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: doesn’t want to demean dead parents at funeral/know both parents loved her.
BLACK SISTER SECRET/WOUND/SUBTEXT: believes white father is racist because he didn’t share she had a white sister/thinks father is ashamed of her/thinks all white people are racist.
WHITE SISTER MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: memorable Christian funeral for parents/save Atheist sister.
WHITE SISTER WOUND/SECRET: felt left out because her grandparents baptized her, but her parents are Atheists/knows her parents are good people, but fears they are going to hell because they are Atheists.
RETIRED COUPLE BEGINNING/HIDDEN CHARACTER HISTORY SURFACE/DEEPER MEANING SURFACE: looking forward to a romantic weekend away from daily stresses, afraid their spouse will divorce them when they discover their early Alzheimer’s. She’s was a computer scientist. He’s a Jungian psychologist and kept his first marriage and son a secret. They’ve been married for 40 years. He explains the nature of negative thoughts to Transman who is his patient, but keeps the relationship confidential.
HUSBAND MOTIVATION WANT/NEED & SECRET: weekend away with wife/rest to stop Alzheimer’s.
HUSBAND WOUND: first marriage ended in annulment, before he found out she was pregnant, never met his son; never forgave himself and never told his current wife of 40 years.
WIFE MOTIVATION WANT/NEED & SECRET: weekend away with husband/needs to know she’s not losing it.
WIFE WOUND: 1st husband abandoned her.
HOPE: Black Sister engages in planning celebration of parents with White Sister.

INT. LODGE HALLWAY/GREAT ROOM – DAY
Tensions build between couples as a storm brews and they try to keep ther secrets private.
TRANSWOMAN TP #1: Gets call from her bookie about debts and commits to secretly use wedding savings as long as she can have a spot at the table at tomorrow’s game. She’ll sneak out after her fiancé falls asleep.
TRANSMAN TP #1: gets a call and pretends he’s still be a woman talking about a a girls weekend; his fiancée overhears.
TRANSWOMAN MIDPOINT: hears fiancé on call and berates him for lying while she’s lying too.
SISTERS TP #1/HIDDEN HISTORY BENEATH: White Sister unknowingly accepts invitation for a poly family get together to grieve. Parents exs aren’t exs.
INCITING INCIDENT/TRAP TO DRAW PREY SURFACE/TRAPPED/PRISONER: An epic storm strands the Couples in the lodge, cutting power and contact with outside world.
HOPE: Power will come back shortly.
PSYCHIC TP #1: The Psychic has more time to collect their secrets.

EXT. LODGE GARAGE – DAY
Black Sister and Retired Husband go hunting for a way out.
HOPE: Find old generator to bring temporary power up.
RESTRICTING: Doesn’t work so collect lanterns and candles.

INT. LODGE BEDROOMS & UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – DAY
Couples unpack and set up lanterns as the wind continues to howl.
CLAUSTROPHOBIC: Not a lot of space for people to have privacy except their rooms.

INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Couples try to make the best of it and play games to pass the time.
WIFE HIDDEN PLAN BENEATH: Wife suggests an ice breaker of a memory game – something about fathers.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Couples start learning things about each other making it difficult to be civil (sexist, racist, agist, transfobic), while Transman entertains with magic tricks, some play poker as Transwoman clearly loves bluffing.
RETIRED COUPLE TP #1: they both forget something important: him their anniversary, her where she worked.
MIND GAMES: Psychic does Tarot readings to pass the time and queue up the secrets.

INT. LODGE BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
STORY TURNING POINT #1: During another nightmare, the Black sister can’t sleep, sees a red ball rolling down the hallway and follows, hearing voices in the Psychic’s bedroom. She sees the Ghost Father with the insomniac Retired Wife right behind. He disappears with the red ball.

Act 2
INT. LODGE GREAT ROOM – DAY
REACTION: The Psychic admits the ghost is her father, they used to play catch with the red ball, but as her psychic skills grew over time, all he wanted was her energy, not her — the Black Sister explains quantum ghost energy and multiverses to the group – the father’s searching for his daughter in various multiverses including this one.
THE PLAN/MIND GAMES: The Psychic tells them everything is under control and uses Tarot sessions hoping to distract them and collect their thoughts.
HOPE: The couples welcome the distraction.
STORY MIDPOINT TURNING POINT #2/SCHEME BENEATH/INTRIGUE BENEATH/HIDDEN OPERATION BENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD REVEAL #1: During a Tarot session, the Psychic exposes the Transman’s secret of not telling his parents he’s engaged, pissing his fiancée off and creeping everyone else out.
PSYCHIC MIDPOINT TP#2: Psychic’s blue glasses can see thought energy like the glasses in National Treasure. She captured secrets into vials under the table. Tilts her head and breathes in deeply capturing the hidden thought, then exhales quietly into a vial on her lap. The vial turns color of the chakra energy: red: passion/anger, orange: sexuality, yellow: self-confidence, green: love, blue: communication, indigo: intuition, violet: peace.
TRANSMAN MIDPOINT/1 THING ANOTHER & INTRIGUE BENEATH: He acknowledges not letting his parents know of transition.
TRIGGERING EACH OTHER: Psychic reveals Transman hasn’t told his parents about his engagement.
HOPE: Engaged Man suggests they elope to avoid disapproving parents
NOT SURE WHO THE REAL THREAT IS: Partner’s deception or the Psychic for revealing it?

INT. BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
PSYCHIC TP #2: Same nightmare as before, this time menacing father only inches away from Psychic’s face. The protective blanket of thoughts aren’t working; his eyes see her through holes in the blanket. She bolts awake. Throwing the red ball through the closet where it disappers. The guests come running and the Ghost Father disappears into the closet too.

Act 3
INT. LODGE GREAT ROOM – DAY
Couples discuss walking twenty miles through the storm damage for help. Psychic serves up thought-spiked mid-breakfast cocktails.
SCHEME BENEATH/SHIFT IN MEANING BENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD BENEATH/PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: The Psychic serves up cocktails with a sampling of ingredients from her thought library/thought-infused liqueurs to make everyone feel more comfortable; the alcohol starts to relax everyone. As they let their guards down, the Psychic discovers and captures more secrets.
RETHINK EVERYTHING NEW PLAN/SHIFT IN MEANING REVEAL/HIDDEN OPERATION BENEATH: The Psychic needs stronger secrets. She spikes drinks to put thoughts of staying vs trying to weather the storm in drinks — it’ll be a week before the roads clear and why not enjoy your time at the lodge getting to know one another, playing down her Tarot readings.

EXT. LODGE – DAY
The Couples explore the property looking for more ways out (vehicles, generators).

INT. LODGE GREAT ROOM- NIGHT
Psychic continues to collect secrets as the couples get more and more anxious exposing more secret thoughts.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: Psychic adds truth serum to cocktails.
HOPE: Psychic hopes the alcohol will make it easier to capture more secrets.
RETIRED COUPLE DILEMMA: tell the truth about Alzheimer’s and lose spouse through divorce or because Alzheimer’s will take all their memories and they’ll lose each other anyway.
HUSBAND TP #2: forgets his wife’s name; she thinks he wants to go back to his 1st wife.
WIFE TP #2: she doesn’t recognize her husband coming down for drinks.
TRANSWOMAN TP #2/DILEMMA: Wants a big wedding; but didn’t want the bookie to hurt her if she didn’t pay so used their wedding fund money and now can’t get to the big game.
TRANSMAN TP #2/DILEMMA/1 THING ANOTHER BENEATH: Wants to elope because he doesn’t want to tell parents, but his fiancée threats to call it off if she can’t have a big wedding.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Trans Couple argues over big wedding vs eloping.
BLACK SISTER MIDPOINT/DILEMMA/HIDDEN HISTORY REVEAL/DEEPER MEANING RENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD REVEAL #2: If Black Sister tells her White Sister she approves she’ll lose her sister after already losing her parents vs continue to lie to her sister. Parent’s exs aren’t exs, they’re part of the poly family. Psychic spikes White Sister’s cocktail with poly parents secret.
WHITE SISTER MIDPOINT/DILEMMA/HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP BENEATH: says she figured out that her parents were poly, hoped if she ignored it and prayed hard enough, it would go away. Balancing the Christian value of honoring your parents (5th commandment) vs honoring her poly parents.
PSYCHIC INTRIGUE: Jungian psychologist suspects the Psychic is purposefully exposing people’s private thoughts.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES: While the Psychic is restocking, Black Sister explains thoughts as waves versus particles and how thoughts have agency. Psychic can’t read thoughts before they become chosen — keep thoughts hidden by not chosing one, just keep brainstorming more possibilities so nothing to read or grab onto.
THREAT: Psychic serves drinks to Sisters and White Sister blurts out her father was racist.
BLACK SISTER TP #2: hoped to convince parents to not share poly relationship since White Sister would be devastated; but they died first. Admits her white father was a racist.
WHITE SISTER TP #2: unbeknownst to parents was going to reach out to Black Sister to convince her poly was wrong and help make her case, but her parents died first.
HOPE: Retired Wife shares stories of marriage conflicts with engaged Trans Couple, still together after 40 years.
RETIRED COUPLE MIDPOINT/HIDDEN PLAN BENEATH & REVEAL/HIDDEN CHARACTER BENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD REVEAL #3: Psychic spikes Wife’s cocktail with 1st wife’s name, Husband’s cocktail with memory aid notes. They both deny. Wife uses gaming for memory tricks.
TRANSMAN 3RD ACT CLIMAX/INTRIGUE REVEAL: When the power comes on briefly, his fiancée answers phone call of future mother-in-law and introduces herself as the fiancée — Mom thinks Transman is a lesbian; Transwoman invites them to come. His parents didn’t know he was engaged either.
TRANSWOMAN 3RD ACT CLIMAX/INTRIGUE BENEATH: Transman picks up Transwoman’s phone with text flashing: you’re late for the $50 G game.
FEAR: Power goes back out.
SISTERS 3RD ACT CLIMAX/HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP REVEAL: fight over forgiveness vs acceptance: Atheist Black Sister and Christian White Sister with support from Transwoman.
HUSBAND 3RD ACT CLIMAX/HIDDEN CHARACTER BENEATH: wife finds text from 1st wife/son.
WIFE 3RD ACT CLIMAX: their kids get through — phone rings when power comes back on briefly — some else picks up (Psychic ?) says it’s your daughter — they both have blank expressions like who is that?
LEFT ALONE: Black Sister excuses herself to prevent further slips.
HOPE: Black Sister discovers a hidden door in the Psychic’s library filled with viles of secrets from previous guests and some truth serem.
PSYCHIC DILEMMA: Restocking thought vials to protect Psychic from her father, but doesn’t want to be psychic and hurt people she’s come to respect vs not taking their thoughts and exposing herself to her father’s wrath in this multiverse.
STORY/PSYCHIC 3RD ACT CLIMAX: More drink-spiking and stealing thoughts. Retired Couple losing memories of their relationship to save Psychic, he’s the same age as her father.

INT. BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
STORY TURNING POINT #3: Exhausted, the Psychic falls into a deep sleep after the Jungian Psychologist put sleep meds in her nightcap. The thought blanket falls off .Her Ghost Father starts sucking her life energy. She wakes everyone up with her screams. Ghost Father leaves and Black Sister grabs the red ball.

Act 4
INT. GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
FINAL PLAN: Psychic decides to confront her father in the nightmare; couples want to help.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER/CONSPIRACY: Retired Couple suggests they all work together. Jungian Psychologist explains Lucid Dreaming and Meeting Dreams with multiple people entering dream.
PERSON ON EDGE: The White Sister suggests everyone take a break.
HOPE: Retired Couples asks Psychic if there’s enough for food for a nice relaxed dinner.
HOPE: Black Sister stole some truth serum to place in Psychic’s drink when they reconvene to understand her motives and stop her from ruining their relationships.
HUSBAND HIDDEN CHARACTER REVEAL: drinking he calls his Wife by his 1st wife’s name.

INT. BEDROOM #1/OTHER BEDROOMS – NIGHT (DREAM)
CLIMAX: The Psychic confronts/forgives her Ghost Father in a lucid dream with the help of the Couples asleep in their bedrooms. They’re ready for the Ghost Father who comes when Psychic falls asleep with the red ball. The Couples are playing games/watching the magician’s tricks — which the Ghost Father is drawn toward. They all watch the red ball move around the room hovering over the floor. The Couples stand behind the standing Psychic, who draws the red ball to one hand and holds out her other hand to her Ghost Father. A powerful gust of wind blows the window open.

INT. BEDROOMS, HALLWAY & GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
The couples wake up and work their way downstairs in dream stupors replaying what just happened and hits the bar for a stiff drink.
RESOLUTION/ SCHEME REVEAL/HIDDEN OPERATION REVEAL/DEEPER MEANING REVEAL/MIND GAMES/DEATH: Everyone starts exposing their secrets as the electricity comes back on and there’s a knock a the door — the real proprietor apologies profusely for being stranded before the storm and not able to greet them. The Psychic has disappeared. When asked about her, the Proprietor points to a portrait behind the bar showing she’s been dead for decades. The Black Sister knows she gone with her father to a different multiverse.
PSYCHIC END: People have become new friends who wanted to help protect Psychic from her father, but she’s a ghost too.
TRANSCOUPLE END/1 THING ANOTHER REVEAL: they decide to elope; it’s more important to be together with new friends who support them.
SISTERS END: both sisters know about parents and accept they disagree, but don’t want to lose each other.
RETIRED COUPLE END: he comes clean about 1st wife and son; they both know they have Alzheimer’s and strategize how to help each other remember.
TRAP TO DRAW PREY REVEAL: searching for supplies someone finds the generator in the “off’ position with an old dirty red ball resting against the generator.

Solve These:
1 Are the reveals of secrets in the best order?
2 Is there enough of main conflict? Heartbeat of father as ghost haunting needing to be present more?
3 Does someone have to die? If so who?

• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  Beth Bonness.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  Beth Bonness.