Lesson 12

[James Landers]

James Landers – Challenging Situations

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is….scene building is more than conflict. Challenges to the main characters are a broader, richer source of conflict and can help me engage viewers (or readers) more closely with my characters.

Scene 1:

Current Scene Logline: Melanie2 talks on the phone to TJ2 as she explores her new office.

Essence: Melanie2 gets her first hints of what it’s like to be a beautiful, hot-bodied woman.

Brainstorm list of possible challenges.

A. Goal

a. She fumbles questions the real Melanie should easily answer.

B. Needs

a. She needs a friend, but everyone’s hostile, including TJ2.

b. She needs to be recognized as smart, but no one does.

C. Values

a. A co-worker could interact inappropriately with her.

D. Wound

a. TJ2 badmouths Brenda

b. She’s taunted for sleeping with the boss

E. Physical

a. Mel2 has trouble walking in heels

b. Her hose runs

c. She starts her period

Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.

Melanie2 will enter her new office and encounter colleagues. She’ll try to bluff her way through the morning, but she’ll fumble routine questions the original Melanie would answer easily (challenge her goal of passing as Melanie). A male colleague will interact inappropriately with her verbally (challenge her values). When she calls TJ for help, he disparages Brenda (wound). And after she’s been thoroughly humiliated, she starts her period and panics about what to do (physical).

Scene 2:

Current Scene Logline: TJ2 flirts with Natalie as he explores his new office.

Essence: TJ2 exhibits the same seductive/sexual behavior he had as Melanie.

Brainstorm list of possible challenges.

Goal: Pass as TJ; get acclimated in new job

-fumble easy questions

-shock Natalie by making a verbal pass

Needs: Hide strong sexual urge.

-Become aroused in front of others.

Values: It’s important to look cool.

-babbled responses to easy questions.

-obvious arousal while talking to Natalie.

Wound: Always felt inadequate as Melanie.

Physical:

He gets erect while talking to Natalie and she kids him about it.

A. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.

TJ2
encounters Natalie as he explores his office. He tries to project a
Casanova-cool image as he flirts with her, but he keeps fumbling easy questions—which office is his? what did they do last week? what’s his computer password (goal:
to pass as TJ). As they talk, he becomes noticeably erect and she teases him
about it (physical, needs, values).

[Tim Adeney]

Andrew’s challenging situations.

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is… that with a bit of thought and brainstorming, the perfect scene is able to be improved!

Scene 1:

A. Current Scene Logline: Annie and Lewis discuss ministry when Annie finds an abandoned baby.

B. Essence: Annie gets an assignment from God – to care for this baby [expression?]

C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.

GOAL – to help Lewis with the ministry needs in Malawi

Lewis mentions impossible-to-meet expectations

The children ask to return to SA

A European will not be easily accepted

NEEDS - to find meaning [God’s call] in her life / to reach Malawi and assess the ministry needs

An accident/attack that prevents them going any further

They get robbed

The baby is dead when they find it

VALUES – practical compassion for other’s needs; being helpful

They don’t find the baby

Lewis and the children are non-supportive of alternative ministries

Some locals prevent her from investigating the cries

Lewis tries to prevent her investigating the cries

Some locals resist/prevent her taking the child

WOUND – her forced abortion

She’s challenged on her obsession with babies

One of the kids says ‘mum has a thing about babies’

Lewis talks about abortion rates in Malawi

PHYSICAL – remote place with steep descent

She falls and hurts herself on the slope

One of the kids hurts himself and they need to tend to him

D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.

Bring when Annie hears the cry forward to create some mystery. Discussion about Malawi and ministry overlaps with talk of babies. One of the kids says ‘mum has a thing about babies’ – Lewis tries to stop her investigating [he feels responsible and protective of her], and she cuts herself on a rock when going down the slope; nearly leave before hearing the cry again. Try create dramatic irony so audience know a baby is there – hope/fear that they might leave the baby to die without finding it.

Scene 2

A. Current Scene Logline: The baby dies as they discuss Tiwonge’s challenge.

B. Essence: Annie must accept the baby’s life or death is not linked to God’s forgiveness

C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.

GOAL: for the baby to live

Baby struggling to breathe; Annie trying various things to help, but nothing does

NEEDS: to feel meaningful/justified through the life of the baby

Wants to get to the hospital but Lewis stops her – no point; they don’t have the means to save the baby

VALUES: being able to do something; being helpful and effective

Others emphasize that she can’t do anything

She tries extreme measures but they don’t work

WOUND: the forced abortion

The baby dies in her arms as if she’s doing the killing

PHAYSICAL: In the bedroom

Rush to hospital

Intrusion from outsiders

Mphatso comes in and makes accusations

Tiwonge arrives to gloat and blame Annie for the death of the baby

D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.

The baby dying is already the major challenge to Annie in this scene; further additions may harm the power of this moment. But it may enhance the scene if Mphatso and possibly Tiwonge arrive to distract and see her holding the dead baby; they are suspicious that she has caused the death. Can question what she’s doing. The initial breathing problems the baby faces can be more pronounced, so that Annie’s efforts are more dramatic and pronounced – like wanting to rush to the hospital [again] – drawing out the moment of death, creating some hope in the scene, building to a bigger climax, before the downer after the baby has died.

[Madeleind Gentinetta]

Madeleine’s Challenging Situations

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that there are always occasions on every level to intensify an already existing scene that was great and make it even better.

Scene 1

Logline: While Luke holds a small birthday reception for Alex, Flavia wants to convince Alex to be part of the student’s commission.

Essence: Alex gets a new professional perspective.

List of possible challenges

A. Goal: Go home soon and keep it light.
Have a discussion that takes longer
Having to hide that he hates birthdays

B. Needs: To hide personal issues.
Mirai is brough up as a topic
Flavia wants to invite him to the committee and he does not want to go
Having to say why he hates birthdays – again

C. Values: Trust and authority

He wants to brag about his authority, then Mirai knocks on the door

He does not know what Flavia is talking about and looks stupid

D. Wound: His personal health issues

Alex starts to sweat
Alex does not remember the names

Alex forgets something and has to return to the office later

E. Physical: Something happening at the apero

He confuses something essential (wasabi for guacamole)
He drops the glass

He spills something on the president

Summary:
The scene is already a challenge for Alex, but with these “small” enhancements here and there, it fortifies the dramatic impact on Alex who just wanted to have a very quick in and out situation for his birthday apero.

Scene 2

Logline: Corrie and Eve are in a garden center to buy a gift for Alex.

Essence: Corrie needs to buy something that does not feel like a gift.

List of possible challenges

A. Goal: Get a gift that does not feel like a gift
Corrie gets the wrong gift
Eve opposes her idea and comes up with a new idea
Corrie has a flashback of a former birthday which went completely wrong

B. Needs: To hide her personal issues
It turns out the sales person is a friend from childhood and knows all her issues

Eve knows the issues and makes fun of it in front of the sales person

C. Values: Love, money

The sales persons mentions that the bigger the gift, the bigger the love
Eve sings a song about it and makes fun of Corrie

D. Wound: Experiencing poverty

Corrie gets convinced to buy something that is too expensive

Corrie has to say something is too expensive (although it’s not expensive)

Eve mentions her trauma in front of the sales person

E. Physical: Something happening at the garden center

A part of the garden house breaks

A flower pot falls off the shelve

Corrie’s check bounces

Summary:
A quick visit a the garden center to shop something for Alex’s birthday becomes a situation which shows the traumatic childhood experience Corrie went through. It also shows how a small action, like buying a gift for Alex turns out to be a major challenge because of Alex’s issues with birthdays.

[Shelley darling]

Shelley Darling Challenging Situations

“What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how valuable this process is for improving the script and doubling the quality of the writing. Every scene in my script needs this process!”

INT./EXT. THRIFT STORE- KENNEBUNK – DAY

Goal – Molly makes a clear decision to unravel her dreams and courageously face her life.

Needs – Health back, Trust herself, triumph over her challenges, love, support

Values-freedom, truth, friendship, spirit connection

Wounds – lost everything/betrayal her non-profit, being dominated

Physical-leg-back-surgery

CURRENT LOGLINE: Molly commits to going back to Poland to take on the mystery hidden in her dreams.

ESSENCE: Having lost everything, Molly courageously decides to face her life challenges after her accident.

LIST OF POSSIBLE CHALLENGES:

Underlying contention of Mollie’s self-needs

Mollie’s jealousy of Brigitte’s sensuality/intimacy in relationships

Mollie is tightly wound/flighty -Brigitte is jubilant and sexually free.

Mollie’s challenges/difficulty in making decisions/being wishy-washy.

Mollie’s conflicted relationship with drinking-

Create outbursts to have the courage to reveal the truth.

Mollie’s energy is too much for Brigitte.

Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.

Amplifying Molly’s traits: indecisive, Fear of making wrong decisions, uprooted, and lack of trust. Mollie’s internal tension contrasted with Brigitte’s’ natural sensuality. Showing Mollie being tipsy. Add in Mollie receiving a former lover’s call, irritating Brigitte, who talks to her about her emotional absence and not being present. Add Mollie and Brigitte’s dialogue, Mollie’s inability for self-love, and solo sex. Mollies always looking for men to take care of her.

Scene 2: INT. BOSTON CONDO-DAY

Goal: Make a clear decision. Unravel her dreams. Courageously face her life.

Needs –, Acceptance, love, support, money, safe-sanctuary

Values- Authenticity, family connection

Wounds – exiled from non-profit, cease and desist delivered, lack of support from Dad, new relationship blowing up, sabotage-nothing working

Physical-Wrapping of the sculpture-she can’t do right-crashes but saved

dad’s impatient/Photo album-rips

CURRENT LOGLINE: Unsuspected familial emotions erupt as Mollie searches for clues in the family photo albums after Dad discloses Mom’s secondary-stage Dementia.

ESSENCE: Mollie, desperately trying to trust herself, continues to be bombarded with outside judgment.

LIST OF POSSIBLE CHALLENGES:

Add in Mollie’s non-profit exile travesty with dad taking control-his pushing Mollie to get over it-she has nothing to stand on.

Set up for Mollie’s parents’ deaths.

Mom’s protection of Dad

Dad finds the defrosted fish still in the microwave. –

Molly has to move-twist

Parallel Timeline – Mollie is there to go back through the albums- as a part of unraveling dreams.

Fish in microwave

Mom and Mollie riff when finding Mollie’s Jesus poem-

Being seen for the truth of who she is.

Mollie’s triggered seeing the picture from the trip with dad-where he

Reconnect to Family. Get guidance from dad about the non-profit and Cease and Desist. Excited about unraveling dreams.

Mollie’s always looking for validation-

Dad’s intolerance of anything deep Mollie feels is spiritually meaningful-says get on with your life.

Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.

It’s Dad’s birthday, and he’s not listening to anyone. Subtext: Unbeknownst to Mollie, he and Mollie’s mom are in full activation mode to prepare for their intentional self-suicide. Amplify Mollie’s thrill at the truth of her dreams being validated. Add in her interview with Dad about what he knew about the hotel’s fire on its 100th birthday. (Possible parallel future timeline) Build up Dad’s judgmental response regarding Mollie’s exile from her non-profit and receiving a Cease and Desist. Add in the shock and Mollies argument with Dad about Mom’s dementia. Build up Dad’s infidelity, Mollie seeing the photo albums-trip. Add in Superior Interest Technique.

[Laurie Stoner]

Laurie’s Challenging Situations

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that I need to challenge my characters as well as myself to write scenes that are dramatic, filled with conflict, while staying true to the essence.

Current Scene Logline: Hannah and Demetri argue about the upcoming art show

Essence: rather than feeling excited and happy Hannah feels something isn’t right about her participation

Brainstorm list of challenges

Goal – feel good about the show

Suggest changes to her role

Change the date or reschedule

Cancel it

Needs – to feel inspired again

Discuss what she wants to do vs what he wants her to do

Demand greater participation in the business side

Don’t let Demetri distract her with gifts or rewards

Values – art is a very personal expression of who she is

Demetri argues that is his career, a way to make money

Wound – she felt unworthy as a child because her parents told her that art was play and she should do something practical to save the world

Demetri downplays the effect her parents had on her

She argues to go back to helping kids as well as producing work

Physical – Demetri is mixing business with pleasure

Demetri keeps distracting her with love making

What journey is she on? From feeling unworthy to feeling she is a part of something worthwhile

How can I better challenge her – show how Demetri is feeding her feeling of unworthiness?

New Version

Bring her wound into play. She will try to explain her reluctance to do the show because of what it represents, while he tries to manipulate her with sex and a trip to Japan.

Current Scene Logline: Hannah wants to come clean with Demetri (this is a missing scene)

Essence: She has kept her relationship with Erin from him

Brainstorm list of challenges

Goal – tell the truth

Try to get him to understand

Show she’s a telepath

Needs – to fix their relationship

Discuss what she wants in the future and his role

Suggest ways they can collaborate in the business

Demetri says he’s tired of being her nursemaid

Values – she wants to share everything with him

Demetri wants to have his own lane

Demetri accuses her of rejecting him and ruining everything

Demetri threatens to have a relationship with another woman, too

Wound – she felt unworthy as a child because her parents told her that art was play and she should do something practical to save the world

Demetri is fed up with her whining about what he considers her privileged childhood

She argues that going back to helping kids as well as producing work will fix things for her which he feels is a rejection of him as not being enough

Physical – She shows how she’s learned to paint while blind

Demetri accuses her of faking her blindness

Demetri gets physical and trashes her painting

What journey is she on? From feeling unworthy to feeling she is in control of her life

How can I better challenge her – show how Demetri was feeding her feeling of unworthiness and how she has grown through working with Erin

New Version

Write it using what I brainstormed.

[Audrey Gomes]

LESSON 12 CREATING CHALLENGING SITUATIONS

Audrey

What I’ve learned that’s improving my writing is how to think of the protagonist as pervasive in the scene in which she appears. I’ve not thought of the protagonist this way in the past.

CURRENT LOGLINE: MEL, an American doctor’s arrival at an orphanage in Africa disarms her.

ESSENCE: To make a good first impression.

Needs: To be accepted

Values: Trying to put everyone at ease

Wound: She seems tentative, unsure about how it’s all going to work.

Physical: She touches every child who comes to meet her.

BRAINSTORM: List of possible challenges

The nuisance of language

Her attire

The amount of luggage she travels with

QUICK SUMMARY: Mel says something in Swahili, and it comes out wrong. And she looks like she’s on a photo shoot for an ad for Safari clothes. The amount of luggage she’s traveling with, signifies excess. Everyone notices. It makes for an awkward first impression.

CURRENT LOGLINE: MEL befriends a Coffee Farmer, BRIAN. Unbeknownst to Mel, TEE TEE ( a House Mother) is in love with him.

ESSENCE: Mel tries balancing the difficulty of her work with relaxation.

Needs: To escape the orphanage for a breather and finds that in Brian.

Values: Friendships with new allies.

Wound: Homesick

Physical: Mel walks the lush Shade Coffee fields looking for Brian.

BRAINSTORM: List of Challenges

Mel visiting Brian and the Coffee Farm and lovelorn Tee Tee finds out.

The jealous Tee Tee displays disturbing behavior toward Mel.

Mel senses Tee Tee will be a problem.

QUICK SUMMARY: Tee Tee adds tension to the platonic relationship between Mel and Brian. I think it is foreseeable that two attractive people can connect. But it can be more interesting that Mel and Brian don’t get involved but end up having a beautiful friendship.

[Bill]

Bill Southwell Challenging Situations

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is challenging situations reveal the character and arc of the lead character. Not just the situation but how they respond to it.

Scene 1: Old Version

Logline: Sally is meeting with John who is home from the Air Force. They have been writing each other. Sally is hopeful he will be the one and John is wrapped up in himself. The meet and he talks about the training exercises he has been on.

Scene 1: New Version

Logline: Sally is meeting with John who is home from the Air Force. They have been writing each other. Sally is hopeful he will be the one and John is wrapped up in himself. When they meet she asks him what his plans are for the future, college, occupation?. He shrugs his shoulders saying: “I don’t know, move up to Sargent maybe. (His response Violates her Goals, her Needs, and her Values) He changes the subject and talks about the car he wants to buy. (Reveals his Goals, Needs, and Values). They part agreeing to write, but Salley feels let down—a blow to her hopes.

Scene 2. Old Version

Logline: Christmas Eve. Elizabeth, a kidney disease patient, has been rushed to the emergency room with a serious nosebleed. After an hour the doctor finally cauterizes the veins and has her bandaged up and says to the nurse to admit her to the hospital. Elizabeth objects. Her husband Richard concurs with the doctor.

Scene 2. New Version

Logline: Christmas Eve. Elizabeth, a kidney disease patient, has been rushed to the emergency room with a serious nosebleed. After an hour the doctor finally cauterizes the veins and has her bandaged up and says to the nurse to admit her to the hospital. Elizabeth objects saying she wants to be with her 2-year-old daughter on Christmas morning. The doctor says “no way” and walks out. Richard follows him down the hall and captures his attention saying this may be her last Christmas. The doctor says “that is for sure!”. Then the doctor consents with the stipulation she be admitted in the afternoon.