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Lesson 12
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Benita. lesson 12. scenes from Act 1. I did this in Final draft but it hasn’t copied correctly.
ACT 1 SCENE 1
INT. SITTING ROOM – DAY
TRACY (20 ) stands with folded arms and a resigned look on her face watching her mother, DIEDRE (42).
Diedre is applying lipstick and holding a small folding mirror. She snaps the mirror shut and stuffs it into a smart shoulder bag. She is smartly dressed to go out. She glances at Tracy.
DIEDRE
Seen enough?
TRACY
Do you have to? You were out last night.
Diedre gives her a hard stare.
DIEDRE
Do something about your hair, Tracy. You look a mess. No wonder you’ve got the sack again.
TRACY
Excuse me – I left!
DIEDRE
I’m not putting up with this much longer, Tracy. You need to start paying your way. And be nice to Roddy. He’ll be here in a minute.
TRACY
What happened to Pete?
DIEDRE
He didn’t renew his subscription.
She moves close, confiding.
DIEDRE
Roddy’s got a jag. And we’re off to Richmond.
Tracy smirks.
DIEDRE
At least I’ll get a decent meal out of him!
Tracy smirks again.
Diedre rounds on her, angry.
DIEDRE
He’s not a waste of space like you, my girl!
They glare at each other.
The doorbell rings.
Diedre hurries out of the room. Tracy follows her.
INT. NARROW HALLWAY – DAY
Diedre opens the front door, beaming. RODERICK HOOK (29) enters. He kisses Diedre on the cheek, looking beyond her at Tracy. Tracy pulls a face.
Diedre bundles him out again. She turns and blows Tracy a mock kiss.
DIEDRE
Bye, darling.
The door closes behind them.
Trace stares hard at the closed door. She sighs. Straightens up and gives herself a shake. She reaches for a very short summer jacket and slips it on over her orange tee shirt. Her jeans are ripped and she wears short brown boots. She opens the front door and leaves the flat.
Act 1 as Tracy walks through the market.
FLASHBACK.
STORE. Tracy is breaking up cardboard boxes used for displays of produce etc. She throws a wedge of cardboard into a bin someway down the aisle and misses. Tracy giggles. Her supervisor appears. She points at the door. Tracy shrugs, removes her tabard, throws it down and walks out.
HAIRDRESSERS. Tracy is sweeping hair off the floor. She Stops and helps a customer unwind a curler from her hair. It gets entangled. The hairstylist tells Tracy off. Tracy storms out.
CAR PARK. Tracy, in the ticket booth. She puts her hands over CAR PARK. Tracy, in ticket booth. She puts her hands over her ears at obscenities from enraged man outside booth.
Later scene going for a coffee with Marty.
INT, CAFÉ – DAY
The popular market café is crowded. Marty sitting opposite Tracy has to lean forward to hear her. They talk as they drink their coffee.
MARTY
So, Tracy, tell me about yourself.
Tracy shrugs.
TRACY
Won’t take long.
Marty looks at his watch. He surreptitiously glances around at two men sitting a few tables behind them. He turns back and sips his coffee and looks at Tracy, waiting.
Tracy takes a deep breath.
TRACEY
I live with my Mum in a rubbish flat in Islington. Dad left when I was eleven. He was a carpenter, and he went off with an American client to the States.(beat) Okay I’ll be honest with you. I’ve few qualifications, and just finished a trial period with the worst supermarket job in the world. But I need a job and have to find something interesting or I’ll die of boredom.
MARTY
What I do is quite technical in a way, you know it’s –
TRACY
Yes, yes, but it sounds interesting and I want to learn. I didn’t do well at school but I’m not stupid. Actually, I think I’m quite bright. I’ll smarten up a bit. And I like making things. I’m good with my fingers.
Marty sits back and takes a long slow sip of his coffee, contemplating.
MARTY
I guess that means you are manually dexterous. I have to say I imagined that anyone I took on would be a little older – and have a technical qualification of some sort.
Marty’s phone rings.
MARTY
Sorry, must take this… What’s that, love?..Yes, I know. Yes. I’m in the café now. I’m actually interviewing a possible apprentice…Later, yes. Bye.
Marty puts the phone down. He smiles at Tracy who looks anxious.
MARTY
My wife, Mary.(beat) You know what, Tracy, I think we might make it work. I like that you’ve been honest and seem ready for a challenge. I’m not getting any younger and want someone to learn the trade and help with everything.
Trace clasps her hands in front of her face and grins.
MARTY
Start on Monday and I’ll give you a week’s money at the end of the first week before going on a monthly basis. Write down your name and address and phone number and I’ll give you a formal confirmation when you come in on Monday. Sharp mind. On the dot. That’s rule one.
He smiles.
TRACY
Okay. Thanks for giving me a chance Mr…Marty. Monday, 9 o’clock.
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Hi Benita – I also write in Final Draft, then copy to Notepad (removes formatting) and copy here – seems to work ok.
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Finished Act 1 – what I learned is it’s better to go with Hal’s no wordsmith and 20% rule and keep up in order to stay on pace with the classes; it also helps gauge where one is in terms of overall page count/act length.
INT. CATHOLIC SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
NUN (age unknown) dressed in her nun clothes; nothing discernable except for her pasty white muscular man calves.
FRANK (8) sits in the back amongst the back of 30 or so uniformed cleanly dressed little suburbanites.
Nun holds a large framed photo of a smiling Pope and opulent St. Peter’s Basilica in the background.
NUN
…as we continue our study of the Roman Catholic Church. Next up…
She points to the back with a long arthritic finger.
NUN
Frank.
Frank strides forth, stands tall and confident; clears his throat, and begins.
FRANK
The church had been placed in charge of a “treasury of merits” of all the good deeds the saints had done. For those trapped by their own sinfulness, the church could write a certificate transferring the sinner some of those saints’ merits. And fortunately for the church, these “indulgences” had a price tag.
Classroom KIDs fidget with curiosity as Nun’s brow furrows.
FRANK
So became the Ninety-five Theses. Albert of Maine authorized the campaign. The cliff notes: because love grows by works of love, man becomes better. Man does not, however, become better by means of indulgences but is merely freed from penalties.
The Nun begins to twitch; as though she is about to have an exorcist moment. The kids lean forward.
NUN
(stern)
The simple believes everything, but the prudent give thought to his steps.
FRANK
Away then with those prophets who say to Christ’s people, “peace, peace” where there is no peace. Hail, hail to all those prophets who say to Christ’s people, “The cross, the cross,” where there is no cross…(voice raising) And let them be more confident of entering heaven through many tribulations rather than through a false assurance of peace!
The furious Nun approaches Frank; he pulls a match out of his uniform and STRIKES IT off the wood desk as he crumples up his papers to burn.
FRANK
And here’s to you and your merits Pope…disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves!
The Nun bends Frank over and blazes his ass with the stick. Facing his classmates – he’s content.
SUPERIMPOSE: “LEVITTOWN LONG ISLAND”
INT. FRANK’S HOUSE – DAY
Frank is fighting his attempt to put on Catholic School uniform. Argues with his MOTHER and SMACKS her wrist with a ruler; his FATHER does nothing in his easy chair.
INT. HORSE RIDING STABLE – DAY
Frank (16) shows a sense of peace, calm, and maturity around the horses.
MONTAGE – LEVITTOWN HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
– Football Frank bull rushes the quarterback THUD knocks him out.
– History class Frank. Wild APPLAUSE as he completes his presentation on Henry David Thoreau.
– Wrestling Frank. Arches back with his gripped opponent flying over him and down HARD; shoulder blades squarely on the matt. Ref’s hand SLAPS the mat. Pinned!
END MONTAGE
EXT./INT. WRESTLING COACHES OFFICE – DAY
Frank (18) strides into MR. EARL’S office and stands to attention. The walls are adorned with trophy shelves, plaques, and awards.
MR. EARL
Have a seat Frank.
Mr. Earl pulls the contents of an envelope and hands it to Frank.
MR. EARL
Full scholarship to Rutgers University. For wrestling. And the opportunity to play football if you like.
FRANK
I’d rather focus on academics then try to play 2 sports sir.
MR. EARL
Then pick one.
Frank stares at a golden trophy and drifts off dream like; he is now the golden boy trophy with hand held high in victory – then back to reality.
FRANK
Wrestling.
Mr. Earl rises to shake Frank’s hand.
MR. EARL
Fine choice and congratulations. I’ll let the school know of your intentions and you’ll receive the offer letter in the mail. You’ve worked hard son. I’m proud of you.
FRANK
Thank you sir.
EXT. HORSE RIDING STABLES – DAY
Frank pulls up in his black 54 Ford and approaches the grounds where the riding stables were. It’s now a massive construction site for new Levittown affordable housing. Fat, DUMPY CONSTRUCTION MAN is getting ready to pour a concrete slab. He’s the Joe six pack kind of guy who sits around watching reruns of Gunsmoke and Rawhide when not working.
FRANK
What’s going on? What happened to the horse stables?
The man throws his cigarette on the ground and eyeballs Frank, who’s wearing his leather riding gear.
DUMPY
Heya…Rowdy. New affordable housing…it’s called progress.
FRANK
What happened to the horses? (looking around) and all the potato fields?
DUMPY
Horses in the country. Get your potatoes at the store…the feds approved all this so that’s the law of the land, so to speak.
FRANK
It also appears to be a law that simple men who lead lives of quiet desperation cannot have any sympathy with both man and nature.
DUMPY
Guess so Bub…have a good day. I gotta slab to pour…
Frank stares in disbelief – looking at a hundred acres where the stables, fields, and woods once stood no longer than a few week ago. He SLAMS the car door and peels off.
EXT. FRANK’S HOUSE – DAY
Frank BARRELS into the driveway and STORMS into the house; leaves the car running.
BASEMENT
Frank lumbers down and grabs 2 large suitcases and heads up the stairs
GROUND FLOOR
Frank’s Father sits in the easy chair watching the Jet’s lose another football game. Frank bolts upstairs with his mother in tow.
MOTHER
Frank? Frank what are you….
FRANK’S BEDROOM
He frantically jams whatever clothes are within arms reach. He pulls wrestling medals off the wall and thinks of packing them. His mother walks in holding some papers.
MOTHER
What’s wrong Frank? Where are you going?
FRANK
To the woods. I’m done here.
MOTHER
These papers just came in the mail. It says you have a full wrestling scholarship to Rutgers University. You can stay here with your friends and get your degree.
Frank stops packing and squares to his mother. He SLAMS his hand on the dresser.
FRANK
Friends? I knock on earth for my friend and no friend appears. By myself I can live and thrive, but in this society of incompatible people I just starve. I once thought I loved my friends but find it of little use to go see them. Their kind intent is nothing more than a cover or mask of deadly intentions.
He completes packing and marches down the steps.
LIVING ROOM
Frank’s father he calls POPS is now up out of his chair. His mother joins them as she fidgets with her rosary beads.
POPS
You’re leaving us?
FRANK
I’m going to Maine Pops. I’ll work in town while I get my degree…and play football.
Pops shuffles over to a fishbowl and pulls out some singles and five dollar bills; they are mixed with other paper pieces that appear to be IOUs.
POPS
Butcher Shop isn’t doing the business that it used to…but here some gas money to help get you there.
They hug as Mother examines the papers.
MOTHER
(to Pops)
How many people still owe you money? How are we going to survive if you keep giving our meat away for free?
POPS
They’ll pay when they can. They’re good people – they’ll pay…
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
Both parents outside watching Frank load the car. Mother tries one more time.
MOTHER
Frank, please reconsider. I may not always show it, but I care deeply for you. And your father does as well.
Frank pulls his mother out of ear shot from his father.
FRANK
This so-called family has no more virtues than pigs in a litter who lie close to stay warm. Living here is a total surrender to myself in your self-interest prison. I’m going to Maine to live on my terms. Being alone in nature far exceeds the spiritual oneness that fools get drunk on going to church in prayer. Songs you sing in that overindulgent building built on blood and tears of the poor and ignorant; and the songs of no more meaning than a blind wolf barking at a street lamp…
(whispers)
And you start treating Pops like the man that he is. Or I will come back with much less tolerance in mind…
Frank gives Pops a final wave and drives off.
EXT. UMAINE FOOTBALL – DAY
Frank bulling once again as a UMaine linebacker. He kneels over coughing and hacking after a vicious hit.
INT. DOCS OFFICE DAY
Frank is diagnosed with asthma and prescribed inhalers. DOCTER tells him to “stay away from dust”.
EXT. FARM – DAY
Frank is throwing massive hay bales from a truck onto a conveyor with hay chaff drifting in the daylight.
INT. HIGHSCHOOL – DAY
Frank is lectured on why the basketball team needs new supplies while his wrestling team has to “make due” with their tattered equipment.
INT. BOOSTERS OFFICE – DAY
Frank pulls cash from the Boosters money box and buys his wrestling team new equipment.
INT. SUPERINTENDENT’S OFFICE – DAY
Frank (25) enters and stands broadly in front of the Superintendent of Schools (50’s). There are several boxes piled up in the corner.
SUPER
Sit down Frank.
Frank resists initially, then finds his seat. He sits up proud and firm. He stares briefly at the boxes.
SUPER
Frank, I’ve got to admit – you’ve done an amazing job with the wrestling team this year. You’ve brought leadership and discipline to a team, that honestly had no direction. Having said that (pointing) what’s in these boxes?
Frank flips the box top open revealing brand new wrestling gear including uniforms, ear guards, and shoes.
FRANK
New equipment for the team. The basketball team gets new gear every year, why would the wrestling team be any different?
SUPER
We’ve already had this conversation. The basketball team sells tickets. The wrestling team is a school expense. We just don’t have the budget this year.
FRANK
And the year before and the year before that.
SUPER
Look. Let’s set up a return order on this and I’ll make sure it’s in the budget for next year. Maybe your team can set up some fundraisers to help the cause?
FRANK
We drill, we practice, and we drill some more. That’s what makes state champions. Not fundraising.
DELIVERY GUY KNOCKS on the Super’s door and is waived in.
DELIVERY GUY
Hey ya…got this new wrestling mat delivered. Where’d ja want it? Into the basketball gym?
The Super shakes his head as Frank storms out.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
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Pretty wild, eh? I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone’s posts – but, right now, goal is to keep posting and keep rolling along!
Here’s my latest – filling in the “missing scenes” leading up to the turning point/act 2 break.
Hope you’re doing well! Whoa! Act 1 (sort of) complete! Yay! Lots of good wishes to you all!!!
DAY 12
INT. NY REAL ESTATE ACADEMY – DAY
Nick is at the sign-up desk in front of a large auditorium/classroom already filled with students, young and old, eager or bored, scruffy or well-heeled – all ready for their initiation in the Temple of NYC Real Estate – hoping to be ordained as “high priests”, but, for now, happy to be novitiates!
At the sign-up desk, Nick counts out four hundred dollar bills (courtesy of you-know-who), signs on the ottd line…
And finds a seat. Taking out a notebook and pen, he smiles at his nextdoor seat-mate and starts to say something…
But she shushes him, as the speaker up on stage beings.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. FUNKY BROOKLYN APARTMENT – NIGHT
Nick is finishing his take-out Chinese, sitting on a second- hand couch, with his friend (TODD) and Todd’s girlfriend, CYBELE sitting on other chairs in the small living room.
Nick is enjoying “Home Alone, Part 2” on the TV – as Cybele reaches over and takes the remote – switching to “Maine Cabin Crafters”.
CYBELE
Hope you don’t mind… this is our…
(indicating herself &
Todd)
…dream.
Nick raises a hand, grinning.
NICK
No problemo! Hey – it’s practically homework!
CYBELE
Speaking of which, just how long…
TODD
Cybele, we’ve already… Nick just needs a moment to get his feet under him…
At which point Cyble gives Nick a pointed look – and he swings his feet (no shoes, of course) off the couch and back to the floor.
NICK
Hey – minute I take the test…
CYBELE
Assuming you pass…
TODD
Foregone conclusion…
NICK/TODD
Highest IQ score ever recorded at St. Theresa’s…
NICK
(grinning)
And, once I sign with one of the majors – I’ll get my own place right away and be out of your hair…
A look between all three…
NICK
Forever!
CYBELE
(not so sure)
Have…you…ever…rented…an… apartment…in…NYC? No money, new job, who knows what your FICO score looks like.
Nick gets it, but…
NICK
Well, since I just spent most of my available cash to get my real estate license… I’ll just have to fall back on my “indigenous survival skills”… which are…
He and Todd exchange a fun, inside joke, look!
NICK
…extensive!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. MY REAL ESTATE ACADEMY – DAY
The auditorium is filled. The speaker on stage is beaming at his latest graduating class!
SPEAKER
Congratulations, one and all! And for those of you who passed the final exam…
PAN AUDIENCE – most happy, but not everyone.
SPEAKER
We’ve got representatives from NYC’s major firms waiting to talk to you… and, if everything seems good. SIGN YOU UP!
The AUDIENCE CHEERS!
ANGLE – BACK OF ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
There are a series of tables set up at the back – REAL ESTATE COMPANY REPRESENTATIVES seated on one side – and LONG LINES of recent grads/potential recruits on the other – all talking eagerly, filling out forms, taking business cards – new moguls-in-the-making and their enablers – all on the launchpad, ready to go!
Behind the reps, we see a few even more elegantly attired “Senior Management” types surveying the incoming crop of wannabes. Including Shania – last seen at JFK customs. She notices…
NICK
who is busy filling out a form at one of the desks.
SHANIA
takes note and smiles.
NICK
happy with his new status as a “real one”, bounces out of the auditorium as…
SHANIA
joins the recruiter. She leans over her shoulder to take a look at Nick’s filled-out form, nods, smiling, and pats the form.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. HALLWAY – ENTRANCE TO FRIEND’S APARTMENT – DAY
Nick approaches the door… pausing as he hears (from within)…
CYBELE (.O.S.)
Todd, I have had it. I don’t care if you guys were bunkmates at the God-almighty orphange a thousand years ago. He is inconsiderate, entitled, and I am done!
Nick takes a breath and knocks on the door.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
And, a moment later, he is back out the door – duffle bag slung over his shoulder.
NICK
(calling back through
closing door)
No worries, guys! I’ve got a place set up for the rest of the week – and then, hey – when you’re ready for that penthouse in Tribeca – give me a call!
INT. APARTMENT
TODD
(a little sad but
relieved)
It better have a private terrace or it’s no deal!
EXT. APARTMENT
Nick gives him a thumbs up.
NICK
You’re on!
INT. APARTMENT
TODD
Good luck with you’re showing tomorrow!
Cybele gives Todd a hug.
CYBELE
I’m sorry, honey – but…
TODD
I know.
And… if any of my
friends can do it – orphanage,
business school, or anywhere else –
it’s Nick!
(beat)
If Richard Branson’s mom threw him
out of the car and made him find
his own way home – when he was
(beat)
We ,ayu have just given Nick the
keys to his first millions…
Cybele gives a hug.
CYBELE
Billions, I hope. And I’ll be the first to lift a glass!
(note: this will be paid off!!!)
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SUBWAY – MIDNIGHT
A variety of fun, colorful, “street theater” folks are holding forth!
Nick, on the other hand, is wiped out! He’s using his trusty duffle bag as a pillow, stretched out on a row of vacant streets at the other end of the car.
As an older, “formerly hot”, LADY scrunches in next to him.
LADY
Hey, hot stuff! You up for a good time?
NICK
(goos-humored but sleepy)
As long as it involves some heavy snoring, sweetie!
The Lady slaps him playfully, moving closer.
LADY
You are silly!
(beat)
Got anyting worth stealing in that bag, once you you’re snoring away?
NICK
I wish.
LADY
Hah!
You and me both!
She gives him a wistful look.
LADY
Sweet dreams! Give me a call when you hit the mega!
NICK
You’ve got it, foxy lady! Got an early day tomorrow. Love you…
And Nick drops off…
And the Lady gives him a fond look as we…
DISSOLVE TO:
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Marilynne’s Finished ACT 1
What I learned doing this assignment is I am still unclear whether I want actions of the saboteur to be visible to the audience or invisible to both the characters and audience.
(The underlined scenes are the ones that may or may not be hidden.)
Act 1
Location: Virtual Reality Research Centre in the near future. Dr. Isy (Isabella) Belton is the senior scientist, who is making slow progress on her Virtual Human Project. Four areas make up the Virtual Human Project space – Dr. Isy’s office, the computing area where the project team works, a conference room and the lab where the virtual reality is located.
PLACEHOLDER: Dr. BELTON is a scientist – early in the story she meets with her department head about abandoning her research. Funding is limited. It’s not enough to make her change her approach, but enough to get her thinking about her being more in control of her destiny.
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT (VHP): COMPUTER ROOM – EARLY MORNING
DR. ISY BELTON isn’t expecting anyone to be in this early. She’s surprised to find her project leader MONROE already working at her computer and asks what she’s working on.
“Checking our climbing scenario test is ready to go later this morning.” They both glance at the long cut and scrape on Dr. Isy’s right forearm.
“Nasty cut. From the Lab?”
“Yeah. Still have to figure out how that happened. Injuries in the Lab aren’t supposed to be real.”
Monroe nods in agreement. As Dr. Isy enters the Virtual Human Project Lab, she calls back to Monroe, “Just a quick test on the bike racing scenario. It has a couple of glitches still.”
Monroe nods.
INT. VHP: LAB – EARLY MORNING CONTINUOUS
Dr. Isy initiates the VHP bike racing scenario. Quickly she’s wearing racing gear and on a bicycle racing around the track. She stops after a few rounds and tosses her head (like she’s recently been wearing a bike helmet).
INT. VHP: COMPUTER ROOM – EARLY MORNING CONTINUOUS
As she re-enters the Computer Room, Dr. Isy glances at her forearm and quickly pulls her sleeve down when Monroe glances over. Her injury is gone.
INT. VHP: OFFICE – EARLY MORNING CONTINUOUS
Isy can’t believe what’s just happened. She is so excited about this breakthrough in her technology, she has to tell somebody. She closes her office door and video chats with her best friend and colleague – MARK JACKSON.
She reminds him he is sworn to secrecy. He is very aware of this and also knows how important this leap forward is. Being a realist, he can’t help but state the obvious.
“Isabella your funding has run out and you have no prospects.”
He nudges her to take on a partner – maybe the military or government.
“They are very interested and will be even more so with your new finding.”
But she adamantly refuses because what they believe about equal distribution of new scientific advances in no way matches hers.
INT. Global Techno Action (GTA) CORNER OFFICE – LATER THAT MORNING
MR. JOHN WATSON, Chief of Research and Development in a powerful company Global Techno Action (GTA), recognizes the future importance of Dr. Borden’s research. He keeps close tabs on her and senses she is close to discovering something big (or already has but hasn’t told anyone.)
He disagrees with the Assistant Chief SID ADAMOS about how to proceed. He feels his company has the right to own this technological development because they have the funds and expertise to continue to develop and market it world-wide. He plans to infiltrate her team, steal the work, and destroy her credibility in the process.
“I want you to remotely insert rogue programming to change the rock climbing scenario. By the way… they will have a job opening this afternoon. Go down there and get that job.”
EXT. ABC COFFEE SHOP – EARLY NEXT MORNING
BENNY waits on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop with two morning coffees and bagels. A well dressed, sexy woman approaches him… not the kind he usually meets and kind of intimidating. She hands him her business card and introduces herself as MARGO, a Human Resources representative from a high tech company.
Margo strikes up a conversation and asks if Benny might be interested in working in R&D, with a solid salary. He is surprised she knows his name and by this sudden offer. He says he’ll think about it. She says thanks and leaves him with a dazzling smile.
Monroe comes down the street and waves as she approaches Benny. He seems a bit “spaced out” as he tells Monroe about the strange conversation he just had, and a job offer “out of the blue.”
INT. VHP: CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER SAME MORNING
Dr. Isy and her team Benny, Monroe, and ZACK meet around the conference table discussing the climbing scenario test scheduled for the next day. Zack is a bit miffed they didn’t bring him a coffee too.
They argue about who should be the first tester. Benny has the most experience and makes the strongest case. Monroe and Zack are not convinced Benny is the best choice.
In the end it’s Dr. Isy’s decision and the team leaves the conference room still disgruntled with the decision. Dr. Isy says she’ll be right back and the rest of the team head over to the Lab. Monroe and Zack watch from the lab window while Benny heads inside the Lab
INT. VHP: LAB – MORNING CONTINUOUS
Benny starts the trial rock climbing scenario and is immediately wearing climbing gear. As he climbs he feels like he is hundreds of feet in the air, but in reality he’s only 2 feet from the floor. He feels the rope slacken, the cut piece flies past him and he “falls to the ground.” He screams and thrashes on the floor in terror.
INT. VHP: COMPUTER ROOM – MORNING CONTINUOUS
Zack is laughing hysterically and Monroe shouting to help Benny.
Dr. Isy returns to this Computing Room chaos. She immediately sees the problem and rushes into the Lab.
INT. VHP: LAB – MORNING CONTINUOUS
Dr. Isy stops the VHP program and rushes over to Benny. She reassures him that he didn’t really fall, and everything is OK.
“Tell that to my heart,” he snaps back. “I’m out. No job is worth this.”
Dr. Isy examines the rope, and it clearly has been cut. “What the hell is going on?” She shows the end of the rope to Benny.
Benny is so angry he can hardly speak. “I don’t care. I just want out of here.”
Dr. Isy and Benny return to the Computer Room.
INT. VHP: COMPUTER ROOM – MORNING CONTINUOUS
Monroe rushes over and hugs Benny. He shrugs her off. “Are you OK?”
“What do you think?” Benny turns furiously to Zack. “Is this your idea of some sick joke? I thought you were my friends!”
Benny stalks off, pulling out Margo’s business card.
PLACEHOLDER: TE – Dr. Isy must become skilled at operating inside the VHP lab as its developer. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to find out how this happened.
INT. GTA: OFFICE – EARLY AFTERNOON
John Watson of GTA knows the research team are at a critical point in their testing and need an immediate replacement. He pulls all the strings necessary to make sure Sid’s resume reaches Dr. Belton and he is hired as the replacement team member.
INT. VHP: OFFICE – EARLY AFTERNOON
Sid confidently introduces himself as Mr. Sid Adamos – better known by his nickname Cracker Jack (or CJ). She doesn’t think he’s funny.
“What is Sid short for?”
“A name I have suffered for my entire life – Sisyphus* – my father thinks he’s hilarious. You know – a Greek god who was clever and destined for greatness.”
“If I recall he also ended up spending eternity pushing a boulder up a hill.”
“Well, that too.”
INT. VHP OFFICE –LATER THAT AFTERNOON
The minute he’s hired, Sid starts to track Dr. Isy Belton’s movements.
INT VHP LAB – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
When the team is not scheduled to be in the VHP lab, Sid creates an androgenous-looking avatar dressed all in black. Takes several attempts to move his avatar into the real world.
He programs the avatar to follow Isy the next evening. Its job is to create a diversion, then shoot and seriously injure her.
INT. VHP LAB – LATE AFTERNOON
Dr. Isy uses one of her memories of a Convenience Store to create a Fantasy World to take her daughter to later.
(Need to figure this out to be consistent – If it is a VR then how can they be shot with real bullets?)
INT. LOCAL (REAL/VIRTUAL) CONVENIENCE STORE – EVENING
They have a ritual every lunar cycle – Dr. Isy and her mother, her mother and her grandmother, and now Dr. Isy and her daughter. To get ready for watching their favorite movie they buy junk food from the local convenience store for their special treat night. Dr. Isy and Rana walk to the store. They are excited – this is Rana’s first movie and treat night. The store has a few other customers.
Dr. Isy goes straight to the back of the store to get beverages. This is all so new, and Rana can’t decide what to choose from the many selections in the snack aisle. Her mother is having almost as much fun as Rana is just watching her.
An androgenous figure dressed in black enters the convenience store. He pauses, looks around, then starts shooting randomly around the store. Dr. Isy briefly glances at the figure’s face and Rana is shot.
Dr. Isy is grazed by a shot and crawls over to Rana who’s covered in blood and moaning. Like a bolt of lightning Dr. Isy realizes whoever this saboteur is means business. Funding is now critical – no matter who she needs to partner with – she must continue her research and save her daughter.
-
The Sacred Kingdom – Act 1 (13 scenes)
My main lesson was to go ahead and finish the act though it’s about half as long as it should be, rather than struggling to add scenes and expand it by creating new scenes. Some of the scenes don’t require dialogue but little or no dialogue which means the acted scene will be much longer than the written one implies. Also, vitally, that I should look more carefully at the content and roughly how many scenes, long and short would tell the story of each sequence within the Act. I also struggled not to spend time describing elements of location and appearance of rooms and people which I generally enjoy doing. It was all very different from my usual way of writing an Act.
1. EXT. FOREST – DAY
Crown Prince AKAASH(20) takes aim at a magnificent stag. As his arrow strikes, the animal throws back its head, leaps into the air and falls. A GROUP OF HUNTER FRIENDS cheer loudly.
HUNTER 1
A matchless shot from the Prince.
HUNTER 2
He’s an avatar of Arjun! The bow is his body, the arrow his arm. He never misses his mark.
Akaash accepts their praise as his due. He rides on, followed by the others.
On the way, he spots an OLD MAN weighed under a heavy bundle of logs and a YOUNG GIRL carrying a water pot. He motions to one of his GUARDS to help him. The Guard jumps off his horse, takes the Old Man’s bundle. The Old Man falls to the ground, prostrates himself before Akaash.
OLD MAN
May Indra shower his blessing down on you. May he keep you safe from danger! May he ever send victory your way.
Akaash nods grandly, and rides on. The girl helps the Old Man up.
GIRL
It’s the soldier you should thank, Grandfather, he’s the one who helped you.
GUARD
Quiet girl! If the Prince had not asked your grandfather would still be staggering under the weight of his burden.
Akaash is stung but rides on. A lithe-figured member of the group, slips away from the group.
2. EXT. PALACE ENTRANCE – LATER
The WAR MINISTER greets Akaash anxiously.
WAR MINISTER
Yuvraj (crown prince) we have alarming news. King Shalivahana is preparing his army to march north Let us meet the Ministers and discuss our strategy.
He signals to him to lead the way. Akaash leads. There is a frantic look on his face.
3. INT. A DARK SPACE – SIMULTANEOUS
The RAJGURU (Court Sage) gazes into the flames. The brighter the flames the deeper the darkness.
RAJGURU
This is the way when the shadows are too many.
He peers into the darkness at crouching, creeping shapes. One stands out – column-like – cast from solid darkness. The Rajguru steps into the flames into the figure. Blackness.
With a jerk he comes back into his room, shivering, blinded for a moment. Falls to his knees before the dominating statue of the Sky-God Indra.
RAJGURU
To feel the truth of a being other than yourself, you need to stand in its body. But this form has perplexed me. It shields itself with another identity.
He looks up at the statue.
RAJGURU
Guide me Lord Indra! It intruded on my ritual without being summoned? Do you alert me to present danger?
He sits, silently, meditating.
4. INT. A LARGE STATE ROOM – SIMULTANEOUS
The MINISTERS rise and bow low before Akaash.
CHIEF MINISTER
Salutations, Yuvraj (crown prince) it is time for you to be crowned without delay.
Akaash is startled.
AKAASH
How can that be when my father may still be alive.
CHIEF MINISTER
(bows his head)
We have had no word of Vikram-Aditya for nearly two years now. It is time for you to take his place.
AKAASH
No one can take the place of Vikram…
WAR MINISTER
King Vikram is known in every kingdom of this planet – there has been no news of fresh victories.
AKAASH
Or otherwise.
WAR MINISTER
Let us not waste time arguing. Avanti must have a king. The cosmic law ordains that he who attacks the rightful ruler of the Sacred Kingdom of Avanti is doomed to destruction unless three years have passed without an incumbent.
AKAASH
How long will Shalivahana’s army take to reach Avanti?
WAR MINISTER
A few months. No more. It is vital he knows immediately that Avanti has a king.
CHIEF MINISTER
My Lord I must impress upon you that it is your duty to accept the honour and defend Avanti.
Akaash bows his head, thinking.
WAR MINISTER
Why do you hesitate, my Lord? Your warrior skills are incomparable. You are well-versed in the strategies of war passed to us by no less than the heroic warriors of the historic battle of Kurukshetra.
A murmur of approval from the ministers. Akaash is reassured. He bows his head.
AKAASH
Then I will do my duty. Avanti will have a king.
The Ministers form a line and pass by Akaash, bowing to him. He looks confident now, enjoying the moment.
CHIEF MINISTER
The coronation must take place immediately.
The Rajguru bursts dramatically into the room.
RAJGURU
Do not be hasty! A dark entity has removed our beloved king to another world and has the prince in its vision. I stood in know its body to its truth but nothingness pervaded me. An entity shielding itself with another identity.
Akaash is devastated.
All present are taken aback.
AKAASH
Another world? How can I find him? Can he be returned as the rightful king?
All present are taken aback.
RAJGURU
That choice is yours to make. Whatever you choose will be wreathed in darkness. An evil force will obstruct your every step.
CHIEF MINISTER
Rajguru! What can you do to mitigate this?
The Rajguru shakes his head.
RAJGURU
All I can do is pray that the Yuvraj’s divine ancestry gives him fortitude and..wisdom (beat)which perhaps learn on his journey since he has not seen fit to study the sacred values and rules of kingship
Akaash is uncomfortable but he pulls himself together.
AKAASH
You are my elders. You guided my father. I will be guided by you.
WAR MINISTER
Then stay and protect Avanti. The most Sacred of the seven Kingdoms. If it falls to Shalivahana it could destroy the world. Wisdom can be more swiftly be learned here. Rajguru?
RAJGURU
That too, is the Yuvraj’s choice.
CHIEF MINISTER
The Yuvraj must stay.
The other’s murmur their approval. Akaash bows his head.
AKAASH
Then I humbly accept your advice.
But there’s nothing humble about his demeanour.
AKAASH
(bowing his head)
Rajguru, I beg your forgiveness for my youthful disregard. I will do everything in my power to absorb what you can teach me.
The Rajguru look sceptical.
RAJGURU
Whatever your choice, darkness and conflict will be your companions. You and Avanti are both in danger.
He turns and leaves the room.
5. INT. QUEEN’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Akaash enters his mother’s chamber and bows low.
AKAASH
Give me your blessing Mother. The advisors of the great Raja Vikram-Aditya have chosen to crown me.
The Queen is concerned.
QUEEN
May Indra’s blessings be with you. (beat) Do you believe this is the right choice?
Her remark surprises Akaash.
6. INT. A SMALL SPACE IN THE APARTMENT – SIMULTANEOUS
The disguised figure lays down her bow and arrows and strips off her hunting garb. She picks up a voile garment. She looks around at a garlanded icon of a beautiful woman in mid-dance, folds her hand in a ‘namaste’ and bows before it. Then she takes a small box from beneath the image.
7. QUEEN’S APARTMENT
QUEEN
Your father always said: Kings are not born worthy. They achieve kingship when they merit it. I believe you need time and hard work before you are ready to rule.
The figure enters the room. She is MOHINI (19) daughter of the QUEEN’s late companion.
AKAASH
The Ministers all agree that the only way to save Avanti is for me to become king. With your blessing and the advice of my Ministers I will rule with confidence.
QUEEN
‘Your’ ministers? Before you even wear the throne? As your mother and wife of Vikra-Aditya, I cannot be less than honest. Devote yourself to the Rajguru’s teaching, hold your father’s ideals and you could one day be a worthy king.
AKAASH
Time is short. The two years are nearly over. I have given my word to defend Avanti. I must be crowned immediately.
QUEEN
Then, my son, I will not be present at the coronation.
Akaash is stunned. It’s like a slap in the face.
8. I/E. A PALACE SIDE-ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Akaash walks along in the darkness, swinging an axe. An ELDERLY MAN follows him. Akaash looks around buth conceals himself in the shadows.
9. EXT. BATTLE-PRACTICE ARENA – NIGHT
Akaash swings a massive axe with the full power of his body, repeatedly attacking a tree-like block of wood. Mohini comes in dressed in full armor watches for a moment and calls out.
MOHINI
(in a deep voice)
Yuvraj! Use that axe on someone who can fight back!
Akaash hears the challenge and seeing her in full armor he swings his axe. She stops his axe with hers. He is about to swing again. Mohini has takes off her helmet.
AKAASH
Mohini!
MOHINI
Everyone knows your skill with an axe. Use the energy to learn the ancient rules of king-ship. They say wisdom is mightier than the axe.
AKAASH
My father should have been here to teach me. But he left me behind and went adventuring with my little brother.
Mohini snorts.
MOHINI
Vital rule of kingship. The eldest son remains to protect the kingdom and take over if, heaven forbid, he’s killed on a mission.
AKAASH
He never took the time to guide me. Or validated my achievements.
MOHINI
The gurus wait for you every day. Put your mind to it and you’ll soon become worthy of the throne.
AKAASH
Where do I begin?
MOHINI
With humility. The next time you see someone who needs help, get off your horse and help instead of waiting for your guard?
Akaash is taken aback.
MOHINI
Just the little things. A true king is a servant to his people.
AKAASH
I must find my father first.
It’s Mohini’s turn to be taken aback.
MOHINI
You’d abandon Avanti to that demon Shalivahana?
AKAASH
I have a question for him.
Mohini turns away.
MOHINI
The Queen is right. You aren’t ready to rule. You put your personal need above the safety of Avanti and the honour of the throne. Go on your adventure and abandon the Sacred Kingdom!
AKAASH
As my father did.
Mohini gives him a furious look and walks away.
AKAASH
Mohini! Wait. I’m full of self-doubt and confusion. I will strive with everything I have, to protect Avanti.
MOHINI
Then stay. Examine your weakness. Learn the lessons and become a worthy king.
AKAASH
You are right. But what of my mother? She thinks I’m unworthy.
MOHINI
All the Queen wants is for you to be a good ruler. Ask the Rajguru for guidance.
AKAASH
My future queen.
Akaash holds out his arms. Mohini takes a few steps towards him then stops.
MOHINI
Keep your promise and I’ll keep mine.
She walks quickly towards the Palace.
Akaash feels a movement and looks behind him. The Elderly Man reveals himself. He is one of the Ministers.
AKAASH
Are you following me?
E.M.
Yuvraj, I have some information that might help you. Before your esteemed father left on his last mission, we had a regular visitor at court – a simple man who finally disclosed that he was a Yogi of exceptional powers. His devotions are focused on bringing peace to our world.
AKAASH
That sounds like an a impossible undertaking.
E.M.
Your esteemed father valued his advice. You would do well to consult him in this situation.
AKAASH
Who is this man?
E.M.
The Yogi Shant Sheel.
AKAASH
I have made my decision. My ministers and the Rajguru will be my guides.
E.M.
Summon the Yogi. Come with me and let us discuss the way forward with your Ministers.
He bows and gestures to Akaash to lead the way.
INT. A LARGE STATE ROOM – DAY
Akaash enters the room with the Elderly Minister. The Ministers stop speaking quietly together and rise.
CHIEF MINISTER
Welcome Yuvraj. I gather you have been demonstrating your fighting skills.
AKAASH
I have been thinking. I believe we should delay the coronation a few months while I dedicate myself to the Rajguru’s lessons and prepare myself for my future rule.
CHIEF MINISTER
An admirable decision.
He looks at the War Minister.
WAR MINISTER
Indeed, Minister. But the coronation must not be delayed. The learning can continue after the coronation.
AKAASH
Would that not be like forcing the River Ganges to flow backwards? I must earn the right to be king first.
WAR MINISTER
It is imperative that news of the coronation reaches Shalivahana well before he begins his journey to Avanti.
AKAASH
I have made my decision. The coronation must be delayed till I have earned the right to become king.
The War Minister and Chief Minister exchange a look.
CHIEF MINISTER
I regret we cannot agree, Yuvraj. The coronation must take place in a few days. Invitations have been issued. Gifts and congratulations have begun to arrive.
ANOTHER MINISTER
On the other hand the Rajguru will be in attendance at every opportunity to guide you.
Akaash is furious.
AKAASH
What kind of a king allows himself to be shackled by his Ministers?
E.M.
Once you wear the crown, my Lord, your power will be magnified. Divine blood runs in your vein. You will triumph.
AKAASH
I will meet this Yogi you spoke of.
10. EXT. A ROOM OF WORSHIP – DAY
The room is dominated by a giant image of the god Shiva. SHANT SHEEL (ageless) with a radiant face, bows to the image, lays a garland and various devotional offerings at its feet.
SHANT SHEEL
Bless my efforts Shive Shankar Maharaj! Shalivahana king of the south plans to attack Avanti and I must stop him spreading his evil.
He performs the 8 point prostration before the image. He gets up and walks into
11. EXT. A MASSIVE BARREN SPACE – DAY
Shant Sheel approaches a ring of rocks and makes a striking action. Flames leap out of the ground. The rocks exude a fiery orange liquid. Shant Sheel picks up a handfuls of soil and throws them into the fire. Within the flames, indistinct shapes appear. Some crawl out of the flames, some heave themselves over – misformed mutated forms of animals and humans.
SHANT SHEEL
Fly to the South and do your work! Keep Shalivahana at bay.
12. INT. AKAASH’S BED-CHAMBER – NIGHT
Akaash tosses and turns in his bed as images of VIKRAM and younger brother DHARMA flit through his mind engaging in skirmishes, achieving victory, laughing, walking away from him, then suddenly disappearing into a great abyss. Akaash sits up in a sweat.
13. INT. OUTSIDE AKAASH’S DOOR – SIMULTANEOUS
Two men stand Guard. Along the corridor and on the corners, more GUARDS.
Akaash looks around as he hears a sound from behind his bedhead. He pulls his bed over, draws a curtain and reveals a door behind it. He hears a key in the lock. The door opens slightly. Akaash grabs his sword, ready to attack.
The door opens. Akaash sheathes his sword and bows.
QUEEN
I was informed you’re being kept here under guard.
AKAASH
I was not aware of it.
QUEEN
The Rajguru was waiting for you to visit. He informed me that you had not gone to see him at the appointed time.
AKAASH
I’m afraid I fell asleep.
The Queen approaches Akaash and breathes in.
QUEEN
A sleeping draught. They do not plan to let you out until the invitations have gone out. Once the messages and gifts begin to pour in, the guests will follow. You will be locked into your coronation.
AKAASH
I promised I would work diligently with the Rajguru.
QUEEN
But I hear you refused to be crowned.
AKAASH
There were disagreements.
MOHINI
You said you could not be crowned until you had completed your work with the Rajguru. Just as you promised.
AKAASH
They were not prepared to wait. I have decided to leave Avanti and find my father.
He bows his head.
AKAASH
Forgive me for abandoning Avanti. I cannot stay. I will aim to return before the period of grace is over. Without without my father.
THE QUEEN MOTHER
Go with my blessing.
AKAASH
What of you and Mohini?
THE QUEEN MOTHER
We have the entire Avanti army to protect us.
MOHINI
We women know how to protect ourselves.
She feels around inside her armour and hands Akaash a small box.
MOHINI
The Memory Gem. Made from my mother’s tears. Her last gift.
Akaash bows deeply to his mother. She raises her hand in blessing and leaves.
Akaash comes close to Mohini. She leans her cheek against his. He strokes her hair, then turns and walks into the night.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Shahrukh Shackle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Shahrukh Shackle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by
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ADDITIONAL SCENES ACT 1 (20% draft)
DAVID BRUNO
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT: discovered an additional way to enhance the story with review and adding scenes.
Protagonist Opening: (beat)
INT. CAMPUS LECTURE HALL – DAY
ALISTAR is teaching a class on the ‘Fermi Paradox’.
Outline:
INT. CAMPUS LECTURE HALL – DAY
BEGINNING: ALISTAR enters and students hush completely.
MIDDLE: ALISTAR states the subject: FERMI PARADOX explanation.
END: A student remarks about the spelling of ALISTAR. ALISTAR retorts about the missing link being present in the lecture hall… even today.
———-
Antagonist Opening: (beat)
INT. NSA RESEARCH FACILITY – NIGHT
ANTAG gives order to execute alien
Outline:
BEGINNING: Alien is strapped to table, struggling.
MIDDLE: ANTAG enters chamber and prepares device, then gives order to execute alien.
END: Alien violently struggles in his death rattle, ANTAG call on phone, “It’s done.”
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces the characters.
PROTAGONIST OPENING SCENE:
EXT. MOTORCYCLE ON WOODED ROAD – DAY
ALISTAR rides to campus on a foggy winding road, heavily wooded. Exits bike, enters lecture hall.
INT. CAMPUS LECTURE HALL – DAY
Noisy students wait for ALISTAR to enter hall. As he enters the students hush completely and suddenly as if falling from a cliff. The lecture is about the ‘FERMI PARADOX’. The students listen carefully and take notes. One student seems annoyed and scribbles for a distraction. The student attempts a snarky comment after the lecture and…
ALISTAR retort:
“There may still be missing links among us… even in this lecture hall.”
———-
ANTAGONIST OPENING SCENE:
INT. NSA RESEARCH FACILITY – NIGHT
Alien, in a sealed chamber, is strapped to a table, struggling. ANTAG enters room and reviews monitors. Hands clipboard to operator and gives the order to pull the lever. Packet of pellets drop into bucket below alien and give off cyanide gas. Alien struggles violently and her skin rapidly changes colors. Alien’s death rattle ends. ANTAG calls on phone and says: “It’s done.” He exits the room.
———————
(inciting incident)
Beginning: students travel to Mojave Desert to see the Nevada Triangle.
Middle: arrival at the Mojave Desert and see the environment.
End: An actual alien spacecraft is sighted.
-Key scene: (protagonist reacts emotionally)
Beginning: Varied reactions to the alien spacecraft sighting.
Middle: Alistar is overwhelmed with the sighting and so are the students. All are hysterical.
End: Returning to campus, different rationalization are asserted in an argumentative fashion, no one is at peace.
2. Write your Inciting Incident scene.
EXT. BOARDING VAN – DAY
THE FIELD TRIP GROUP WAITS TO BOARD THE VAN. ONE STUDENT OFFERS BROWNIES TO THE OTHERS. ALL PARTICIPATE.
EXT. TRAVELING TO MOJAVE DESERT – DAY
Alistar offers further insight into the FERMI PARADOX and students’ reactions are uniformly skeptical.
EXT. HWY TO MOJAVE – DAY
SEVERAL HOURS OF DRIVING TAKES IN THE SCENERY OF THE DESERT. VARIOUS REACTIONS TO A NATURAL ENVIRONMENT NEVER SEEN BEFORE BY STUDENTS ENHANCED BY THEIR INTOXICATED STATE. STUDENTS ARRIVE AT THE DESIGNATED LOCATION OF THE FIELD TRIP AND WANDER AROUND. SOME RELIEVE THEMSELVES, OTHER TAKE SPECIMENS. THE FIELD TRIP WANDERS INTO A NARROW CANYON SHADOWED FROM THE SUN.
EXT. MOJAVE DESERT – DAY
All at once the students see the bright flash of light coming from a spacecraft they cannot identify. Hovering over the students it pulsates and moves at incredible speeds and stops as fast. Maneuvering at 90 degree angles it beams a light on each of the students and shocks them in turn. Alistar is trying to cope with something out of his control and is at his wits end. The spacecraft exits vertically in an instance and disappears.
3. Write the scene for the Reaction to the Inciting Incident.
THE FIELD TRIP SCATTERS AND HIDE FROM PERCEIVED DANGER. ALISTAR BRINGS THEM ALL BACK TO THE VAN AND GIVES OUT WATER BOTTLES. THEY BOARD THE VAN AND LEAVE.
EXT. RETURNING TO CAMPUS – DAY
Alistar is without skill to calm the students hysteria and can hardly calm down himself. The students assert different arguments to explain their experience, none are similar in any way. Some express seeing colors, other say they heard voices from people in their past. Much confusion prevails.
———————–
Act 1 Turning Point.
EXT. CAMPUS – EVENING
The field trip comes to an end. The students hurry to their cars to leave the campus, heads down and struggling to cope.
Alistar: “Ok everyone, I expect all to be here in the morning to review our field…” Students barely acknowledge his words and can’t get out of there soon enough.
INT. FACULTY MEETING ROOM – DAY
Rumors of the events in the Mojave Desert murmur through out the Faculty. Alistar clears his throat and begins to speak explaining that they actually had a close encounter of the 3rd kind. The other professors retract and express disbelief and disappointment in his handling of the event. Uniformly, the faculty voice disapproval and declare he must go through a competence review of his teaching credentials. Alistar is shocked at their reaction and stands up and says, “I’ll prove what we saw was as we described”, and marches out of the room.
INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY
Meeting with half of the field trip students Alistar tells them what happened in the faculty meeting. The students are further discouraged, break up and leave the meeting.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Alistar posts a notice of an immediate sabbatical and packs a box of his personal belongings.
INT. ALISTAR’S HOME – DAY
Alistar sets down a half finished bottle of Scotch and lays down on his bed.
INT. ALISTAR’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Alistar sleeping, suddenly awakes in terror. He remembers an experience he had at age 5 of an alien visitation… He is determined to discover the truth and submit evidence of it, no matter what.
-
Pam Ewing Finished Act 1 (sorta)
What I learned is to just give this part an enema and move on because I can always come back.
NEED STATUS QUO BEFORE
NEED BEGINNING OF POWER TRANSFERRANCE
NEED NECKLACE TRANSFER
NEED HINT AT HERITAGE/WEALTH/PARENTAGE/REASON MOTHER FLED
Ext. Private Graveyard – day
Natalie (30’s) looks lost placing flowers on a tombstone.
NATALIE
Miss you. Again, sorry this isn’t
the spot we had picked out before
but I just couldn’t bury you where
Warren and I first – you know.
Although with the divorce maybe it
would be – no maybe not. Could just
be me and you here for the
duration.
Natalie scans the garden with a few rabbits and the mansion up the hill.
NATALIE
I know you liked him but I just
don’t have any zest for ‘you know’
or anything else anymore. The
rabbits do seem to like it here.
INT. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE – DAY
Natalie fidgets. Her husband and his attorney glare at her across the table. Natalie’s attorney arrives in a huff.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
There is a problem.
HUSBAND
Of course. Problem is on the family
crest, isn’t it? No laughter? You
used to think everything was fun.
NATALIE
So I’ve changed but you have, too.
HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY
Shhh. No talking.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
Although Natalie filed for her
birthright, it seems that per the
laws of royal inheritance from XXX,
as you know Natalie’s mother was a
princess, Natalie must claim the
birthright in person within a
year of the royal passing or
forfeit her estate.
HUSBAND
(grim chuckle)
Now that’s funny. No money. No
divorce.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
There is a problem.
HUSBAND
Of course. Problem is on the family
crest, isn’t it? No laughter? You
used to think everything was fun.
NATALIE
So I’ve changed but you have, too.
HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY
Shhh. No talking.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
Although Natalie filed for her
birthright, it seems that per the
laws of royal inheritance from XXX,
as you know Natalie’s mother was a
princess, Natalie must claim the
birthright in person within two
years of the royal passing or
forfeit her estate.
HUSBAND
(grim chuckle)
Now that’s funny. No money. No
divorce.
HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY
My client may be out of line but he is nonetheless correct.
Please advise me when this matter is resolved.
Husband and his attorney shove away from the table and depart.
NATALIE
That was just for negotiation
purposes, right?
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
No. I’ve asked my assistant to
contact a travel agent for you. You
only have a little more than a week
before the one year anniversary of
your mother’s departure.
NATALIE
(panicking)
But I’ve never been out of the
country since my honeymoon. I
barely leave my house. I can’t do
this.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
Natalie, please focus. As you know
I represented your mother and her
estate. If you fail to retain the
estate I will represented the
estate’s interests over yours.
NATALIE
There must be another way. I pay
you to handle this.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
The estate pays my retainer. I am
quite certain that if you do not
satisfy this birthright stipulation
I will be obligated to seize all
your funds and evict you.
NATALIE
What?
Natalie’s attorney shows her the door.
NATALIE’S ATTORNEY
Have a good day. Good luck.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY
As Natalie turns the corner she sees her husband leaning over her attorney’s assistant’s desk. He sees her.
HUSBAND
(to assistant, obviously
changing subject)
…so it can be done. Great. Thanks
for the information.
He pivots and walks with Natalie but behind her back mimes ‘call me’ to the assistant.
NATALIE
I don’t need an escort.
HUSBAND
But my chivalry is what attracted
you in the first place.
He pushes the elevator button and holds the door for her.
NATALIE
Wrong as usual. I’ll take the next
elevator.
HUSBAND
And waste all that horsepower. Suit
yourself.
As the door close she jumps into the elevator. He hums. She recognizes the tune.
NATALIE
They really need better elevator
music.
The doors open.
HUSBAND
After you m’lady.
She stalls but people are waiting to get on the elevator. She clumsily stumbles over people to exit building.
INT. NATALIE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Natalie is mumbling and pointing as her maid packs.
MAID
I am so happy to see you getting
out in the world again.
NATALIE
No. I think the blue dress. No.
Pack them both.
MAID
Your mother would be so happy that
you are visiting her homeland. And
alone. You are being so brave.
NATALIE
Is it colder there?
MAID
Wear layers and you’ll always be
warm. Tickets and passport in
purse. Your limo awaits.
The maid closes the suitcases and takes them downstairs.
Natalie numbly follows with her purse and the smallest case.
-
Ext. Backyard of home in 1990s suburban Seattle
Monique gesturing wildly, spilling her beer.
Monique
And then he starts pawing at my tits, just really going for it. And I’m like, whoa dude, I know they’re great but first date, you know? Come on!
Jack
That’s not how it happened. You stumbled and I was just-
Monique
Hey, who’s telling this damn story, you or me?
Jack
I was present. And sober.
Steven and Kira are clearly uncomfortable.
Monique
Fuck you. Anyways, so he damn near ripped off my shirt-
jack
No. She slipped on the sidewalk, and I was trying to help her up off-
Monique
Yah, tryin to help yourself to a handful, more like!
jack
You know what. Enough of this. I’m outta here.
Jack stalks out the backyard and Monique stumbles after him.
Monique
Hey. Hey. Don’t you fucking walk away from me. You just can’t handle the truth.
Jack
And you can’t handle your liquor. I’ll be back when you sober up.
Pursued by Monique, Jack walks into street and is hit by a car.
Monique
Jack? JACK!!
Ext. Cemetery. mourners are deliberately ignoring monique
Kira walks over and awkwardly touches Monique’s shoulder.
Kira
Stephen said tomorrow, first thing should be fine.
Monique turns to answer, but Kira has moved away.
Int. Luxurious corner office
Stephen is rapidly reading documents out loud, not making eye contact with Monique.
Stephen
…and as the primary beneficiary, you are now the sole owner and possessor of the bank accounts, sole beneficiary of life insurance policies and retirement accounts, etc. The titles to the property will be transferred free and clear. Since Jack had a trust set up, you’ll avoid probate.
Monique
OK. Stephen, I want to thank y-
Stephen flips pages rapidly and noisily.
stephen
You hold the title for the Seattle condo free and clear. The title for the California property in San Marino should be transferred by the end of the week.
Monique
The… oh, yes. Now should I..
Stephen pushes back from desk and stands, buttoning his jacket.
Stephen
You should definitely think about moving back to California. I’ll give you a couple of names. They’ll help you out.
MONIQUE
Oh. Okay, but-
Stephen stalks to the door and opens it unnecessarily wide.
Stephen
Barbara will see you out. Barb! See that her parking is validated!
Monique moves slowly to Barbara’s desk as Stephen’s door slams hard behind her.
Barbara wordlessly stamps the parking pass and hands it back to Monique, deliberately avoiding eye contact.
INT. Monique’s spacious condo
Monique stumbling around, wine glass in hand.
Monique
(incoherent on phone)
Call me back. Please. I was trying. To stop him. I was… Just call me back. Why doesn’t any wanna call me baaaack…
Int. Busy office complex, corporate level
As Monique walks purposefully down the hall, employees comically duck around corners and do about-face to avoid her.
Int. Office. Monique with two other employees.
Monique
I was thinking. About what you said. Leave of absence. Yeah. Yeah. I think… I might try that.
They nod in unison, slowly and thoughtfully.
Bill
Of course, of course. Listen, you take all the time you need. Take a year! We’ll manage.
Lisa
You could also try a change of pace. We do have offices in Chicago and Los Angeles. Change of scenery might do you good.
As Monique walks slowly back down the hall, Bill and Lisa high-five each other.
Bill
Ding, dong, the bitch is gone..
Monique slams trunk of a packed SUV and glares into the distance.
MONIQUE
Fuck it. ALL of it.
Montage of Monique dining in several upscale restaurants, drinking heavily and swiping at waitstaff.
Daytime. Exterior of upscale, well-maintained San marino house.
Monique, trying hard not to appear impressed.
Monique
I expected better, Jack’s grandparents.
Monique wanders around the empty house, beer in hand, planning an extensive update that is tacky and inappropriate.
Upscale supermarket. Monique tossing random items into her shopping cart, including several bottles of liquor.
Early morning, interior of Monique’s house. A hung-over Monique opens the door to find two serious-looking police officers.
officer #1
Ma’am, we’ve had several noise complaints for this address. Mind if we come in and talk to you for a minute.
Monique
Uh what? What noise? I was asleep until you rang my doorbell. I don’t have any kids. Or pets. Or anything that would be making noise.
Officer #1
Can we come in?
Inside, the officers make a cursory check of the house.
Officer #2
House sitting?
Monique
No, I live here. This is my house.
Officer #1
Husband around?
Monique
No.
officer #1
So, whose house is it?
MONIQUE
What? Mine. It’s my house. I own it. I already told you.
Officers glance quickly at each other.
Monique
Oh. Oh, I see. Not used to Mexicans in this part of town?
Officer #2
Look, doesn’t matter who owns it, just keep the noise down. OK?
Monique
I already told you. I was asleep. What, was I snoring too loud?
As officers leave, Monique notices neighbors peeking through their windows.
Monique
Fuck me. Damn rich, white folks. Got 911 on speed dial.
Exterior of Monique’s house. She throws a bag into her car and takes off down the street. From the POV, it’s obvious someone is watching from across the street, hiding behind a tree.
Local beach. Monique in an elaborate get-up of oversized hat and sunglasses tries to make small talk with the families around her. They do not respond.
Exterior of Monique’s house. She pulls into her driveway, but there’s a strange car parked there. She honks long and loud.
Monique (to herself)
This ain’t East LA, we don’t park in other people’s driveways!
Finally a strange man emerges. Caucasian, mid-30s, with a slightly puzzled look.
MARTIN
Can I help you? Need directions?
MONIQUE
No, I need you to get out my driveway. Wait, how did you get into my house?
MARTIN
Sorry, your house? You really are lost.
Monique bursts out her car, finger raised.
MONIQUE
No, you need to GET lost. I don’t know how you got in, but you gotta get out my house!
Chaos ensues. Martin is calm and contained in the face of Monique’s escalating anger.
Monique
You know what, that’s it. I’m done with this shit. Calling the cops!
As Monique walks back to her car, a police cruiser pulls up. Monique is aware of the neighbors standing around, gawking.
MARTIN
Officers, if I may. The lady is confused. She is claiming this is her house, but I assure you it belongs to me. I have the
Monique
You got nothing!
The officers are dispassionate, and direct most of the conversation to Martin.
Officer #1
Sir, I assume you can prove this is your house.
MARTIN
Absolutely, officer. Here’s my ID with the current address. I just moved in, so I’m pretty sure I know where my paperwork is.
Monique
I don’t care what paperwork you have, this is my house and I can prove it.
Officer #2
How about we all go inside and resolve this issue.
Monique
No, I don’t want him in my house.
MARTIN
Absolutely, officers. May I offer you some water?
One hour later. Monique is pacing the floor, agitated, while Jack is sitting on the couch, sipping a beer.
Officer #1
So just produce a valid photo ID with this address.
moNIQUE
I keep telling you! I just moved to the area and I haven’t been to the DMV yet.
OfFICER #2
Okay, well any kind of paperwork that lists you as the owner.
Monique
I– He must have broke into the house while I was away and tossed all my paperwork!
Officer #1
Lady, I don’t know what paperwork you have, but these papers here list the owner of this house as Martin Macullum.
Officer #2
Look, there’s nothing of yours here. It’s all his furniture, his food, his dog. Are you sure you didn’t just go to the wrong house?
MARTIN
Officer, I’m sure this can be cleared up with a simple visit to the Hall of Records.
Monique
No. No, no no! I am the only owner. I don’t know who this is. Don’t know what he did to my stuff. I’m telling you.
Officer #2
Well, it ain’t gonna get cleared up tonight. Come down to the precinct with your paperwork and we’ll go from there.
Monique
What? Why? Why do I have to prove I’m the owner?
Officer #1
Because possession is nine-tenths of the law. If the house is yours, then he’ll be considered a squatter. Either way, I suggest you get yourself a good lawyer.
Monique
But I don’t know anyone here. All my business contacts are in Seattle.
MARTIN
Officers, would it be permissible to offer the lady a room for the night?
Officer #1
No. Absolutely not. That would muddy the waters. She could claim tenancy.
Monique
Fucking. Ridiculous. I’m the victim and you’re concerned with protecting him.
Officers escort Monique to the door as she resists.
OfFICER #2
Hey man, you look familiar. How long you been living here?
MARTIN
Coupla months now. Moved back after my grandparents passed. Good to be back in town.
OfFICER #1
I knew I recognized you. Running back? San Marino High School?
Jack
Yes, yes. That was a while back.
Monique
Quit the fucking family reunion. What are we gonna do about this guy?
Officer #2
Like I said. You’ll have to bring your paperwork down to the precinct.
Monique
This is ridiculous! You see a Hispanic woman who doesn’t look like she belongs in the neighborhood, and you’re just gonna give away my house.
Officer #1
No, what I see is a woman who can’t prove she is who she is. And he can cause he has the paperwork.
Officer #2
Come. Down. To the precinct.
MARTIN
Officers, thank you so much. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Monique
Oh, you will be sorry when I get done.
MARTIN
Have a nice night, now.
Outside, Monique panics. Her car has been towed.
Monique
My car! My purse and all my things!
Officer #1
Oh, you were probably blocking the sidewalk. Folks are pretty strict around here about that sort of thing.
MoNIQUE
What am I supposed to do now? Where do I go? You pretty much gave away my house right from under me.
OFFICER #1
There is a woman’s shelter across town. We’ll take you there.
MONIQUe
That’s for homeless people. I have a house. You just kicked me out of it.
Officer #2
Ma’am, may I remind you at this point you’re trespassing. We could take you in.
Officer #1
If the house is really yours, get yourself a good lawyer.
Monique
HOW? My car is gone with my purse and my stuff. He threw away all my bags and boxes. How do I prove I am who I am?
OFFICER #1
Like I said. Get yourself a good lawyer. We can give you a ride anywhere you want.
Monique
No. I’m not leaving. I’m not just gonna give up my house and leave cause some random guy says it’s his.
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