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Lesson 12
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Deb’s Dramatic Scene Transitions
What I learned: This is fun. While this assignment was helpful throughout, it was especially enlightening for a particular section of my script which involves a back and forth from present day to a fictional story. In my original, I used straight cuts, but in my revision, I use the overlap transition. I feel it helped maintain the continuity of the story because the cuts are very quick. We now continue to HEAR the children in the background, even though, for a moment, we return to the present day art studio.
Here’s the set up via the beat:
EXT – BACKYARD/WOODS – DAY
Torrie, the artist, at her art studio premier, is telling the story of her artwork. We are sucked into the artwork, but there is the occasional back and forth from present day as Torrie is interrupted for photos with other guests.
The artwork story stars Reggie (10), BJ (12), BJ’s sister, Kit (6), Axel (10), and Nancy (11). A game of “Capture the Flag” (the Plastic Bag is ‘the flag’). When it seems as though BJ, the bully, will win (to the peril of all others), it is the nerd, Axel, who is triumphant and BJ who must make a trip to the emergency room.
Here is an Overlap Transition: (the kids race through the woods, Kit gets lost)
KIT: I’m all alone!
There is a scuttle in the leaves. Kit SCREAMS and takes off.
CUT TO:
INT. MODEST ART STUDIO – CONTINUOUS
Torrie poses with an attractive, older man with a genuine smile who wears a leather beret with a brim.
KIT (V.O.) Where did everybody go?
There is the sound of Scuttle Through Leaves.
CUT TO:
(Back to the rest of the woods scene)
Here is a Visual Transition: (this connects Kit & Axel – as they will team up later)
Kit looks about, turns around twice, thinks, then moves on.
KIT: (singing) No wild animal is gonna tear me apart because I’m a bad ask. Oh, yeah, I’m a bad ask.
BJ: (O.S.) Shut up, Kit
Kit continues her song, skipping along. She looks up the trunk of a tall tree and sees a squirrel.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS – CONTINUOUS
Down the trunk of a tall tree, a squirrel runs. Axel slowly and carefully picks his way through the woods.
He looks high and low but is in no hurry at all. The squirrel darts down and across his path. He’s amused.
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Deb:
This is a very creative and powerful way to use a transition scene. The back and gives the audience an opportunity to reflect on the seemingly insignificant moments in their lives that led to present moments. Decisions and choices are always a powerful tool to deliver a message. Really appreciate the skill you exhibited in this lesson.
Thank you,
Bob Kerr
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Bob’s Dramatic Scene Transitions.
What I learned in this lesson was the ability to create dramatic leverage in my script to deliver a more powerful visual to elevate the story. It was a challenging exercise but ultimately led to an improved sequence.
The set up for the transition scene I selected is the reality that keeping the women’s boat filled is difficult. The challenge of the conditioning is creating an obstacle for the women.
The original transition was just showing Fran running and bending over from the exertion. I chose the “visual transition form” by showing the results of a two pack a day smoker running to get in condition for competitive rowing.
Here is the two scenes connected by the transition scene.
INT. WSU MEETING ROOM – NIGHT
As the crew breaks up and walks out of the room, Fran, Gary, Colette and Cheryl are walking together.
FRAN
Hope folks aren’t just thinking about recruiting guys. We need girls to fill our boat and a couple of coxswains for all of us. Think those frat guys know any sorority girls who might be interested?
GARY
(mockingly)
That’d be one helluva pitch. Hey, you look like you could be a rower. Interested in killing yourself and earning a varsity letter?
They all start laughing
FRAN
Don’t laugh. If we don’t keep the women’s boat full, then the whole program goes down. It can’t just be about the guys anymore. Welcome to Title IX!
GARY
(surprised)
I don’t think any of us knew that. Where do we start?
CHERYL
All my friends think I’m nuts for doing this. I tell ‘em this is one place where I’m on even ground with everyone. Start there. Women getting a fair and equal shot at anything is a big deal. Trust me.
COLETTE
Getting women to come out is just the beginning. Keeping them is the real battle.
GARY
I think it’ll be harder when we’re off the water. No one will see us. When we’re on the water at least people see us. They’re intrigued.
CHERYL
Seeing is believing. Getting women to see themselves in a boat is powerful. I say we get the school paper to write a story about us and get some pictures while we’re still on the water.
FRAN
That’s a helluva idea. I know just where to start.
EXT. SANDY RIVERBANK – – DAY
Fran is running along the riverbank and keeping up a good pace. She stops and bends forward coughing up black phlegm.
FRAN
Strangest cure to stop smoking yet!
Fran straightens up and starts running again.
INT. WSU ARENA – AFTERNOON
The crew is gathered in the arena waiting for Vespoli to arrive. It is a collection of some 40 men and women dressed in sweats and joking amongst each other. Vespoli arrives with LEE PARKER, a 5’10 dark haired guy with glasses, next to him.
VESPOLI
Okay ladies and gentlemen, welcome to winter conditioning. For the next seven weeks you’re going to build your strength and stamina. The routine is one day running, the next day weights. Lee Parker is our new team manager and he’s going to be tracking your progress. Now let’s head down to the weight room and get everybody’s weight.
The crew gets up and heads downstairs to the weight room.
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What I learned is that, from a transitions point of view, my script seems to be in pretty good shape. Like the last exercise, I discovered when I went through the script that I had already made changes to some of the transitions as part of previous exercises. A little over 20% of the transitions are something other than Flow, but I did manage to make some tiny tweaks to a few scenes as a result of this exercise. The following is fairly typical of the degree of change we’re talking about:
BEFORE
INT. ROMANTIC RESTAURANT – EVENING
Jack and Blanche sit at a candlelit table for two, dawdling over coffee and dessert. The bill is on the table beside Jack.
BLANCHE
So your kids had you declared incompetent?
JACK
It wasn’t that hard after I ended up in the hospital.
BLANCHE
You were hospitalized? What for?
JACK
It was just a stupid mistake. I forgot I’d taken my medication and double-dosed myself.
BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE
INT. JACK’S KITCHEN – DAY
Jack lies collapsed on the floor. His HOUSEKEEPER comes in, carrying a load of laundry. She sees him, drops the laundry and reaches desperately for her phone.
AFTER
Jack and Blanche sit at a candlelit table for two, dawdling over coffee and dessert. The bill is on the table beside Jack.
BLANCHE
So your kids had you declared incompetent?
JACK
It wasn’t that hard after I ended up in the hospital.
BLANCHE
You were hospitalized? What for?
BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE
INT. JACK’S KITCHEN – DAY
JACK (V.O.)
It was just a stupid mistake. I forgot I’d taken my medication and double-dosed myself.
Jack lies collapsed on the floor. His HOUSEKEEPER comes in carrying a load of laundry. She sees him, drops the laundry and reaches desperately for her phone.
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DAY 12 – Transition Scenes with Meaning
Lisa Long’s Dramatic Scene Transitions
What I learned from doing this assignment is transitions are important for maintaining the flow of the story and for readability.
ORIGINAL SCENE TRANSITION
Molly jumps up.
MOLLY
I’ll get you to help me! Just wait and see…
MARS
Okay. (chuckling) You do make me laugh.
Molly dances down the beach toward the restaurant. Chessie barks after her. Mars covers up again and closes his eyes with a smile on his face.
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL TRACK – DAY
Molly’s first week of school. Molly and a group of students are in gym clothes at the start of the outdoor track. Ms. SUSAN SEYMOUR, a 43-year-old big-boned gym teacher addresses the kids.
SUSAN
Alright. We’re going to test your running abilities. When I shout GO, you run as fast as you can to the other side of the track.
A few of the kids who are into running stretch out. Molly stretches too.
SUSAN
On your mark, get set, GO!
Half of the kids start out strong, and bringing up the rear are the kids who don’t care. Molly is out in front.
Molly runs like the wind…and when the spirit moves her, she adds a jete (jump).
KIDS
(Running and laughing) Look at the new girl! She’s crazy! What does she think she’s doing?!
NEW SCENE TRANSITION – THE VISUAL TRANSITION
Molly jumps up.
MOLLY
I’ll get you to help me! Just wait and see…
MARS
Okay. (chuckling) You do make me laugh.
Mars covers up again and closes his eyes with a smile on his face.
Molly runs down the beach… CUT TO:
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL TRACK – DAY
Molly runs around the school track like the wind…and when the spirit moves her, she adds a jete (jump).
KIDS
(Running and laughing) Look at the new girl! She’s crazy! What does she think she’s doing?!
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