• Deb Johnson

    Member
    April 21, 2023 at 4:28 pm

    Deb’s Dramatic Scene Transitions

    What I learned: This is fun. While this assignment was helpful throughout, it was especially enlightening for a particular section of my script which involves a back and forth from present day to a fictional story. In my original, I used straight cuts, but in my revision, I use the overlap transition. I feel it helped maintain the continuity of the story because the cuts are very quick. We now continue to HEAR the children in the background, even though, for a moment, we return to the present day art studio.

    Here’s the set up via the beat:

    EXT – BACKYARD/WOODS – DAY

    Torrie, the artist, at her art studio premier, is telling the story of her artwork. We are sucked into the artwork, but there is the occasional back and forth from present day as Torrie is interrupted for photos with other guests.

    The artwork story stars Reggie (10), BJ (12), BJ’s sister, Kit (6), Axel (10), and Nancy (11). A game of “Capture the Flag” (the Plastic Bag is ‘the flag’). When it seems as though BJ, the bully, will win (to the peril of all others), it is the nerd, Axel, who is triumphant and BJ who must make a trip to the emergency room.

    Here is an Overlap Transition: (the kids race through the woods, Kit gets lost)

    KIT: I’m all alone!

    There is a scuttle in the leaves. Kit SCREAMS and takes off.

    CUT TO:

    INT. MODEST ART STUDIO – CONTINUOUS

    Torrie poses with an attractive, older man with a genuine smile who wears a leather beret with a brim.

    KIT (V.O.) Where did everybody go?

    There is the sound of Scuttle Through Leaves.

    CUT TO:

    (Back to the rest of the woods scene)

    Here is a Visual Transition: (this connects Kit & Axel – as they will team up later)

    Kit looks about, turns around twice, thinks, then moves on.

    KIT: (singing) No wild animal is gonna tear me apart because I’m a bad ask. Oh, yeah, I’m a bad ask.

    BJ: (O.S.) Shut up, Kit

    Kit continues her song, skipping along. She looks up the trunk of a tall tree and sees a squirrel.

    CUT TO:

    EXT. WOODS – CONTINUOUS

    Down the trunk of a tall tree, a squirrel runs. Axel slowly and carefully picks his way through the woods.

    He looks high and low but is in no hurry at all. The squirrel darts down and across his path. He’s amused.

  • Robert Kerr

    Member
    April 24, 2023 at 5:46 pm

    Deb:

    This is a very creative and powerful way to use a transition scene. The back and gives the audience an opportunity to reflect on the seemingly insignificant moments in their lives that led to present moments. Decisions and choices are always a powerful tool to deliver a message. Really appreciate the skill you exhibited in this lesson.

    Thank you,

    Bob Kerr

  • Robert Kerr

    Member
    April 24, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    Bob’s Dramatic Scene Transitions.

    What I learned in this lesson was the ability to create dramatic leverage in my script to deliver a more powerful visual to elevate the story. It was a challenging exercise but ultimately led to an improved sequence.

    The set up for the transition scene I selected is the reality that keeping the women’s boat filled is difficult. The challenge of the conditioning is creating an obstacle for the women.

    The original transition was just showing Fran running and bending over from the exertion. I chose the “visual transition form” by showing the results of a two pack a day smoker running to get in condition for competitive rowing.

    Here is the two scenes connected by the transition scene.

    INT. WSU MEETING ROOM – NIGHT

    As the crew breaks up and walks out of the room, Fran, Gary, Colette and Cheryl are walking together.

    FRAN

    Hope folks aren’t just thinking about recruiting guys. We need girls to fill our boat and a couple of coxswains for all of us. Think those frat guys know any sorority girls who might be interested?

    GARY

    (mockingly)

    That’d be one helluva pitch. Hey, you look like you could be a rower. Interested in killing yourself and earning a varsity letter?

    They all start laughing

    FRAN

    Don’t laugh. If we don’t keep the women’s boat full, then the whole program goes down. It can’t just be about the guys anymore. Welcome to Title IX!

    GARY

    (surprised)

    I don’t think any of us knew that. Where do we start?

    CHERYL

    All my friends think I’m nuts for doing this. I tell ‘em this is one place where I’m on even ground with everyone. Start there. Women getting a fair and equal shot at anything is a big deal. Trust me.

    COLETTE

    Getting women to come out is just the beginning. Keeping them is the real battle.

    GARY

    I think it’ll be harder when we’re off the water. No one will see us. When we’re on the water at least people see us. They’re intrigued.

    CHERYL

    Seeing is believing. Getting women to see themselves in a boat is powerful. I say we get the school paper to write a story about us and get some pictures while we’re still on the water.

    FRAN

    That’s a helluva idea. I know just where to start.

    EXT. SANDY RIVERBANK – – DAY

    Fran is running along the riverbank and keeping up a good pace. She stops and bends forward coughing up black phlegm.

    FRAN

    Strangest cure to stop smoking yet!

    Fran straightens up and starts running again.

    INT. WSU ARENA – AFTERNOON

    The crew is gathered in the arena waiting for Vespoli to arrive. It is a collection of some 40 men and women dressed in sweats and joking amongst each other. Vespoli arrives with LEE PARKER, a 5’10 dark haired guy with glasses, next to him.

    VESPOLI

    Okay ladies and gentlemen, welcome to winter conditioning. For the next seven weeks you’re going to build your strength and stamina. The routine is one day running, the next day weights. Lee Parker is our new team manager and he’s going to be tracking your progress. Now let’s head down to the weight room and get everybody’s weight.

    The crew gets up and heads downstairs to the weight room.

  • Douglas E. Hughes

    Member
    April 29, 2023 at 6:30 pm

    What I learned is that, from a transitions point of view, my script seems to be in pretty good shape. Like the last exercise, I discovered when I went through the script that I had already made changes to some of the transitions as part of previous exercises. A little over 20% of the transitions are something other than Flow, but I did manage to make some tiny tweaks to a few scenes as a result of this exercise. The following is fairly typical of the degree of change we’re talking about:

    BEFORE

    INT. ROMANTIC RESTAURANT – EVENING

    Jack and Blanche sit at a candlelit table for two, dawdling over coffee and dessert. The bill is on the table beside Jack.

    BLANCHE

    So your kids had you declared incompetent?

    JACK

    It wasn’t that hard after I ended up in the hospital.

    BLANCHE

    You were hospitalized? What for?

    JACK

    It was just a stupid mistake. I forgot I’d taken my medication and double-dosed myself.

    BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

    INT. JACK’S KITCHEN – DAY

    Jack lies collapsed on the floor. His HOUSEKEEPER comes in, carrying a load of laundry. She sees him, drops the laundry and reaches desperately for her phone.

    AFTER

    Jack and Blanche sit at a candlelit table for two, dawdling over coffee and dessert. The bill is on the table beside Jack.

    BLANCHE

    So your kids had you declared incompetent?

    JACK

    It wasn’t that hard after I ended up in the hospital.

    BLANCHE

    You were hospitalized? What for?

    BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

    INT. JACK’S KITCHEN – DAY

    JACK (V.O.)

    It was just a stupid mistake. I forgot I’d taken my medication and double-dosed myself.

    Jack lies collapsed on the floor. His HOUSEKEEPER comes in carrying a load of laundry. She sees him, drops the laundry and reaches desperately for her phone.

  • Lisa Paris Long

    Member
    April 29, 2023 at 8:01 pm

    DAY 12 – Transition Scenes with Meaning

    Lisa Long’s Dramatic Scene Transitions

    What I learned from doing this assignment is transitions are important for maintaining the flow of the story and for readability.

    ORIGINAL SCENE TRANSITION

    Molly jumps up.

    MOLLY

    I’ll get you to help me! Just wait and see…

    MARS

    Okay. (chuckling) You do make me laugh.

    Molly dances down the beach toward the restaurant. Chessie barks after her. Mars covers up again and closes his eyes with a smile on his face.

    EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL TRACK – DAY

    Molly’s first week of school. Molly and a group of students are in gym clothes at the start of the outdoor track. Ms. SUSAN SEYMOUR, a 43-year-old big-boned gym teacher addresses the kids.

    SUSAN

    Alright. We’re going to test your running abilities. When I shout GO, you run as fast as you can to the other side of the track.

    A few of the kids who are into running stretch out. Molly stretches too.

    SUSAN

    On your mark, get set, GO!

    Half of the kids start out strong, and bringing up the rear are the kids who don’t care. Molly is out in front.

    Molly runs like the wind…and when the spirit moves her, she adds a jete (jump).

    KIDS

    (Running and laughing) Look at the new girl! She’s crazy! What does she think she’s doing?!

    NEW SCENE TRANSITIONTHE VISUAL TRANSITION

    Molly jumps up.

    MOLLY

    I’ll get you to help me! Just wait and see…

    MARS

    Okay. (chuckling) You do make me laugh.

    Mars covers up again and closes his eyes with a smile on his face.

    Molly runs down the beach… CUT TO:

    EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL TRACK – DAY

    Molly runs around the school track like the wind…and when the spirit moves her, she adds a jete (jump).

    KIDS

    (Running and laughing) Look at the new girl! She’s crazy! What does she think she’s doing?!

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