Lesson 12

[Jack Young]

What I learned doing this assignment is that even though I thought that I had built in intrigue, going back and examining the scenes, I found new ways to add more layers of intrigue to the scene. I believe this process is helping me to build richer scenes.

Jack Young Outline With Intrigue for “STREAM”

TEASER

INT. SWIMMING POOL – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Mystery

Michael, age 7, falls into a pool. Blood clouds the water around his head. At first he fights to stay alive, then he closes his eyes and floats to the bottom of the pool.

Start: Michael falls into the pool.

Challenging Situation: He has a wound to his head and is injured.

Conflict: The water is overcoming him.

Action: Initially, he fights to survive, but with a head injury, he succumbs.

Finish: He has lost the battle and rests on the bottom of the pool.

INT. DREAM

Major Form of Intrigue: Intriguing World – We’re introduced to the worlds that we will be seeing down the road to include Ocean of Souls (Pseudo Heaven) and the sorcerer’s world.

Other: Imminent Threat – Michael is drowning in a swimming pool and is in danger of drowning, but there is a threatening huge disk bearing down on him and a hideous sorcerer in an ancient world that appears to be threatening Michael.

Other: Open Loops: What do all the souls represent? What does the gigantic disk represent? Who is the sorcerer and what does he have to do with Michael’s story?

Michael falls into a raging energy stream with souls of people screaming as they whiz by.

Michael finds himself floating in an ocean of thousands of souls. Above him a huge sacred stone seal with ancient inscriptions moves closer and closer towards him. Michael reaches out to touch the disk and as he does, the seal turns into a round dimensional gateway. He’s now looking into an ancient world where a Sorcerer stands working his evil magic. The Sorcerer turns as if he has seen Michael watching him and gives him a menacing look.

Start: Michael, his eyes closed, finds himself peacefully floating in a strange ocean of souls.

Challenging Situation: As he opens his eyes, he finds himself facing a huge ancient stone seal that is moving towards him.

Conflict: The huge stone disk (Seal) moves closer and closer, almost on top of him.

Action: The stone seal turns into a dimensional gateway that looks into an ancient world of a sorcerer. The sorcerer gives Michael a menacing and threatening look.

Finish: Michael is pulled back to reality by the voice of his older brother calling his name.

EXT. POOL – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Mystery – This scene is in the form of a dream. Michael recalls when he was younger and almost drowned in the backyard pool. Did he have a vision as a young child of things to come or did he inject this into his dream?

Other: Wound – Michael had a strong relationship with his brother until his suicide. Michael feels responsible for his brother James death. Although his brother saves him, he’s also the one responsible for Michael to fall into the pool and nearly die. Some of this has been blocked out of Michael’s memory.

Michael’s brother, James, age 11, resuscitates him and warns him of future events to come.

Start: Michael finds himself back in the world being resuscitated by his brother. He’s laying on the side of the pool, his brother over him.

Challenging Situation: Michael gags on the pool water, trying to breathe.

Conflict: His brother turns Michael’s body to the side so he can expel the water.

Action: Michael expels the water and is able to breathe again.

Finish: After Michael has recovered, his brother tells him of a fantastic adventure that awaits him but requires that he must find the “Professor” (“You’ll need faith and alliances”)

ACT I:

INT. HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Mystery – Why is Michael having constant headaches? Why does his wife suspect he’s having an affair? What big business deal is Michael working on the phone and why doesn’t he want his wife to overhear?

Other: Wound – His wife is obviously wounded by the fact Michael is having an affair. Is she avoiding having a discussion about it for the sake of their young son?

Michael’s wife is standoffish as he gets ready for work. He pops more aspirin as he gets ready. His wife is worried about his continual severe headaches. She suspects that Michael is having an affair and doing something illegal on the side. Michael works a “big” deal on phone while trying to be obscure about it, raising more suspicions with his wife.

Start: Michael goes through his usual pre-work routine.

Challenging Situation: His wife is not only concerned about his abuse of painkillers, she’s internally brewing over the affair he’s having at work.

Conflict: Diane sends obscure signals that she’s upset with him about suspected affair. Michael detects her hidden anger with him while he tries to work a big deal with a friend on the phone

Action: None, just dialogue.

Finish: Michael maneuvers his wife by avoiding her as much as possible and escapes to work.

INT. MICHAEL’S CAR – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Imminent Threat – Michael wasn’t able to avoid the protestors on the way to work. When he gets out of the car to help a protestor he hit with the car, it turns violent threatening Michael’s life.

Other: Mystery/Open Loop – Who is the Professor and why is Michael getting a supernatural message from the other side about him? What role will the Professor play in Michael’s story.

On his way to work, drives through the rioters on the street that are looting and burning buildings. He almost kills someone as they attack his car. He climbs out to see if he’s okay and he’s attacked by the protestor as he helps him up. Michael barely escapes as he notices another protestor carrying a sign that reads “Find The Professor” After he notices the sign, the protestor disappears.

Start: Michael is driving to work like he normally does.

Challenging Situation: The car passes through rioters who are burning buildings.

Conflict: Rioters attack the car and throw objects at the car.

Action: Michael maneuvers the car through the crowd and hits a protestor. When he gets out, the protestor he hit comes after him swinging.

Finish: Michael finally gets through the violence and threat and receives a message from the other side.

INT. AMERICAN BANK – FORECLOSURE DEPT – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Secrets – The old woman shares secrets of her life with her husband with Michael.

Other: Mystery – She recognizes Michael and knows his brother. How does she know about them?

Other: Imminent Threat – The old woman pulls a gun from her purse. Michael believes for an instant that she is going to shoot him for foreclosing on her home. Michael is also mistaken for an active shooter and is almost shot by a swat team.

Other: Betrayal – Michael has betrayed a woman whom she used to be a neighbor of theirs by going along with the foreclosing of her home.

Other: Wound – The old woman opens a wound when she asks Michael about his dead brother.

At work an elderly woman comes to his office upset that she’s losing her home. She recognizes Michael’s last name. Turns out she lived near his mother and he and his brother used to cut her lawn. She asks about his brother. Michael says he’s dead. She talks about her dead husband and never having kids then takes out a gun from her purse. She commits suicide in front of Michael. She has an eerie, cryptic message for Michael before she fires. Secretary at work gives Michael a hard time over ending affair.

During chaos of suicide, bank workers think it’s an “Active Shooter” situation and scramble for shelter. Michael gets call from his friend, Kevin, that something went wrong with stock deal.

Start: Michael begins a usual day of work as a foreclosure specialist at the bank.

Challenging Situation: An elderly woman pulls a gun from her purse. Michael believes she will shoot him but she turns the gun on herself and commits suicide.

Conflict: Michael’s secretary creates a situation over an ended affair.

Action: The police arrive and assault Michael, believing he’s an active shooter. He gets struck in the head during the process.

Finish: Michael is released by police and later gets a phone call from friend that their stock deal has serious problems.

ACT II:

INT. LOCAL BAR – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Open Loop – What is going on with the riots, protesting, and the weird government testing trying to create humans?

Other: Deception – Michael’s secretary has deceived him about the foreclosures they have been conducting at the bank.

Other: Betrayal – His secretary betrayed him to his employer and to the FBI.

Other: Wound – The secretary opens a wound with Michael’s wife when the FBI calls his wife and she comes to the bar.

Other: Imminent Threat – Michael headaches finally reach their limit causing him to black out and hit his head. He obviously is dealing with a major medical issue.

Michael stops at bar to get a drink and to get his head together. At bar, news on the bar TV talks about riots. A drunk at the bar makes jokes about the government experimenting with monkeys to create babies that are half-human and half monkey. Michael goes to a table and gulps down more aspirin while downing a drink. His secretary stops in, having seen his car. She confesses that she wants his job and is really the brains behind the foreclosing success at the bank and he’s already been fired and she’s up for his job. She then tells him that the FBI came by work to arrest him and she told them that Michael was probably at his hangout. As she finishes, the FBI pulls up. Michael tries to run out the back and runs into the FBI. His headache rages to the point where he collapses. Diane receives phone call from the FBI at home. She arrives at bar and runs into Michael’s secretary. She smells secretary and tells her that she’s smelled her perfume 5 times before in the laundry room on her husband’s clothes in the last year. Secretary corrects her “six”. She slaps the secretary.

Start: Michael tries to escape the chaos of the day and his problems.

Challenging Situation: The secretary shows up to challenge Michael over his ending the affair.

Conflict: He learns she “assisted” in developing foreclosure cases (Unethically) and informed on him to the FBI. Diane confronts Michael’s girlfriend.

Action: The FBI starts to arrest Michael and he has stroke and passes out.

Finish: Michael is carried away on stretcher to the hospital.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Wound – Michael has flashbacks about his older brother after passing out at the bar. We’re introduced to his brother’s suicide and how his father responded.

Other: Secrets – Michael’s affair and secret stock deal are now known by the wife.

Other: Deception – Michael’s wife feels deceived by Michael.

Other: Imminent Threat – Michael is in real danger of dying from brain cancer.

Other: Mystery – Why are supernatural forces trying to communicate with Michael about the Professor.

Other: Empathy/Distress – We feel for Michael who just found out he’s dying from advanced brain cancer.

After a dream about his older brother that takes Michael into his brother’s world, his suicide, his funeral, and his father blaming him for his brother’s death. Michael awakes in hospital. His wife sits on the edge of the bed going over how Michael lost all of their funds, had an affair, broke the law, lied, etc. The doctor takes Diane out of room to tell her that Michael has terminal brain cancer. Later, Michael watches a show on TV with the Professor explaining his theory of what caused the no-birth. He tries to change the channel but he’s on every channel. He realizes that he’s blind in one of his eyes.

Start: Michael is in the hospital.

Challenging Situation: Doctors determine that Michael has brain cancer and is dying.

Conflict: Diane is upset with Michael for the affair and his illegal business dealings.

Action: Michael has to confront his infidelity and possibility that he is dying and a criminal.

Finish: Michael feels that something larger than him is happening and it’s connected to the Professor.

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Empathy/Distress – We feel for Michael now that he only has one good eye and one good leg.

Other: Mystery – A message from the other side is warning Michael that his time is limited to find the Professor and to enter the Stream.

Diane helps Michael to car as debris blows down street. Michael now has a patch over his blind eye. A newspaper page wraps around her leg, almost attacking her. She freaks out as the paper fights for her attention as she tries to pull it away and put Michael in the car. The obituary page describes Michael’s death in 3 days. Michael says he needs to find the Professor.

Start: Diane helps Michael leave the hospital.

Challenging Situation: Michael has lost sight in one eye and one of his legs is numb. Diane must help him to the car.

Conflict: A newspaper fights for her attention to reveal Michael’s destiny.

Action: Diane freaks out as she reads Michael’s obituary to him in the car.

Finish: They leave the hospital traumatized by recent events and news.

EXT. DARLINGTON MANSION – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Mystery – Strange forces are at work. Some force wants to push Michael on his journey and another force wants to stop him.

Diane and Michael drive several hours to the professor’s mansion in Iowa. The Obituary page is whisked away by wind before she can show anyone at the house. A dark and brooding sky warns of impending events. The Professor’s odd housekeeper believes that they are a couple of nuts and won’t let them in. Diane forces her way in while holding her child and trying to guide Michael in. They find the Professor in the kitchen with the floor covered with Corn Flakes. He’s trying to decipher a strange pattern displayed by the Corn Flakes.

Start: Michael and Diane go to the professor’s house in Iowa.

Challenging Situation: The couple is challenged by an odd housekeeper.

Conflict: Diane forces her way in to see the Professor.

Action: The Professor is trying to decipher a pattern on the floor.

Finish: Diane recognizes the pattern as “MW”, the initials of her husband’s name.

INT. DARLINGTON MANSION – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Intriguing World – The Professor leads a journey into the Astral plane to convince Diane and Michael of his theory about the no-birth cause.

Other: Imminent Threat – Diane is pulled into the raging stream that is stealing souls.

At Professor’s mansion, they meet the young astral team. The Professor tells Michael about the stream in the astral plane. Diane doesn’t believe it. She thinks the Professor is crazy. The Professor and his team take Michael and Diane into the astral plane to show them the raging stream and the souls being captured in it. Diane gets pulled into the Stream by a passing soul. The team fights to pull her back out.

Start: Michael and Diane are introduced to the Astral team.

Challenging Situation: Michael and Diane are told an outrageous story about souls being stolen. They are taken into the stream where Diane gets accidentally pulled into the stream.

Conflict: Diane refuses to believe it the Professor’s story and wants to immediately leave with Michael and their son.

Action: The Professor offers to show them proof…a visit to the Astral plane where Diane gets pulled in by a soul passing by. The Astral team pulls Diane to safety.

Finish: Diane and Michael are convinced that it is real and what the Professor is saying is the truth.

ACT III:

INT. DARLINGTON MANSION – NIGHT

Major Form of Intrigue: Imminent Threat – Michael discovers that must die to enter the Stream.

Other: Deception – Thomas becomes upset with the Professor when he deceives Michael about his chances in returning to his body.

Michael and Diane stay at professor’s house. Michael and Diane are told that he must die to enter stream. Diane is against it and leaves with Michael.

Start: Diane is told that Michael must die to enter the stream.

Challenging Situation: Michael is not ready to die and Diane is not ready to let him go.

Conflict: Thomas becomes upset that they have gone to an extreme amount of work and Michael is letting everyone down.

Action: Diane leaves with Michael. The Professor has to restrain Thomas from going after them. The Professor tells Diane and Michael that with Thomas’s device, there’s a good chance that Michael can return. Thomas gives him a strange look and later confronts him with the logic that when Michael shuts down the stream, he shuts down his way back.

Finish: They leave in their car.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Major Form of Intrigue: Wound – Michael feels that he can maybe make up for the shitty job he’s done as a husband and father by going into the Stream.

Michael wants to be forgiven and realizes that without someone going into stream, their son won’t be able to have a family. Michael tells Diane to stop and talks to her about their family going on through his son. They go back.

Start: Diane is driving the car away from the Professor’s mansion with Michael and her son.

Challenging Situation: Michael is dying. Mankind needs a hero.

Conflict: Diane is not ready for Michael to die and is fleeing with Michael to save him.

Action: Michael comes to the realization that he is dying and that his son’s future family depends upon him taking a chance to stop it.

Finish: Michael convinces Diane that if this crazy idea works, he will not only help their son but everyone. He doesn’t have a choice.

INT. DARLINGTON MANSION – NIGHT

Major Form of Intrigue: Wound – Michael’s wound is his brother because he still feels responsible for his suicide. Michael gets new information about his drowning as a child. He had blocked out that his brother had pushed him into the pool causing the accident.

Other: Imminent Threat – Michael sees the sorcerer again in a vision. Michael also almost gets run over by a truck but is saved by Diane.

Michael and Diane tell Professor they will do it. Later, Michael has a vision where he sees his dead brother and follows him from the house. He finds himself back at the pool where he had drowned. His brother reveals to him that he had pushed his brother in the pool to teach him to swim. Michael had then hit his head on the edge of the pool and fell in. His brother admits that he got scared and ran. He later returned and pulled his brother out. Then, as it starts pouring down rain, his brother tells him that “..they’re watching you” as the rain turns into a swirling vortex.

Michael sees the ancient one (sorcerer) appear through the vortex. The ancient sorcerer looks directly at Michael. He shakes his long deformed forefinger at Michael. Suddenly, the vortex transforms into headlights of a truck.

Someone grabs him and pulls him to safety. It’s his wife. Michael and Diane return to the Professor’s house.

Start: Michael leaves the mansion after seeing a vision of his brother in the rain.

Challenging Situation: Michael, with only one good eye, can barely walk with the crutches in the rain.

Conflict: He struggles to chase the vision of his brother to the pool behind the mansion.

Action: As he reaches the pool, the pool changes to the one he drowned in as a boy. He relives the drowning experience again. This time, he discovers that his brother had pushed him in, causing his drowning.

Finish: His wife saves him from being run over by a truck and takes him back to the mansion.

INT. DARLINGTON MANSION – BEDROOM – NIGHT

Major Form of Intrigue: Imminent Threat – Michael’s time is running out and he will die soon.

Other: Wound – Michael is desperately trying to make amends to his wife before he goes but his wife is having a difficult time forgiving him.

Other: Empathy/Distress – We feel empathy/distress for Michael as his health deteriorates.

Michael awakes to find that his wife is not in bed. He checks in on his son who is asleep on a makeshift bed on the floor. He goes downstairs and follows a light that is on in the study. He enters and finds his wife standing near a full wall of books reading one of the Professor’s books on the Astral world. They have a conversation about what happened to them, Michael’s ambition, their desires for a family, careers, etc. Michael almost falls as he uses his crutch to steady him while moving across the room to the window. There’s a full moon. He talks while watching the moon about needing Diane to forgive him before he dies. She’s still upset with him about recent events and has no idea how she’s going to deal with the financial and legal mess he’s leaving behind. She’s having a hard time being sympathetic.

Start: Michael awakes at night.

Challenging Situation: The last night before he dies, he struggles to get forgiveness from his wife. They argue about the legacy that Michael is leaving her and his son.

Conflict: Diane can’t help being upset about the situation and it’s gonna get worse.

Action: They argue and Diane agrees to sleep on it.

Finish: They return to bed.

INT. DARLINGTON MANSION – LAB – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Imminent Threat – Michael’s heart is stopped.

Other: Wound – Diane misses the opportunity to forgive him for hurting her.

Other: Empathy/Distress – We feel empathy/distress for the son who just witnessed his father dying.

Thomas stops Michael’s heart while he’s in the environmental pod. He remembers that he wanted Diane to forgive him before he died and struggles to get out as he dies. Diane lunges to the pod and demands that they stop it as he dies, missing the opportunity. Moments later, their young son, who has been standing on the stairs watching, screams out that they killed his father.

Start: Michael has his heart stopped to send him into the stream.

Challenging Situation: As Michael dies, his wife remembers his last wish and tries to stop his death. She fails.

Conflict: The son is upset at the death of his father.

Action: Diane rushes to her son to consul him to no avail.

Finish: Diane must remove her son from the lab as he’s screaming and kicking.

ACT IV:

INT. ASTRAL PLANE

Major Form of Intrigue: Intriguing World – Michael’s journey takes him into the Astral plane.

Other: Imminent Threat – Michael enters an energy stream in hopes of shutting it down. We have no idea where it leads or what it will do to Michael.

Michael enters the Astral plane as a disembodied spirit. The Astral team, now disembodied spirits, guided by the Professor, ensures that Michael enters the Stream and is on his way to the other side.

Start: Michael, now dead and a soul, is drawn into the stream.

Challenging Situation: The Astral team is racing along side the stream trying to verify that Michael has entered. Except that they see other souls but not Michael.

Conflict: As they race alongside the stream trying to find Michael, one of the young Astral team members gets pulled into the raging energy stream. The others panic and report back to the Professor, who is monitoring their mission from inside the mansion.

Action: Finally, just before they think his “cord” will pull apart killing the astral team member, he is suddenly pushed back out of the stream by no other than Michael. The team member’s life is saved.

Finish: Michael is now visible in the stream. He waves and is on his way.

INT. WALKER HOUSE – DAY

Main Form of Intrigue: Secrets – Diane’s parents don’t know the details of Michael’s death and that it’s an experiment rather than a murder.

Other: Betrayal – Their son, Nick, naively betrays his mother by leading police to the body.

Diane’s parents, concerned about their grandson, come to a hotel in town. When Diane takes her son to the hotel hoping her parents can calm him down they call the police. Using the son’s help, the Police find Michael’s body and seize it. Michael’s body is seized by the police and taken to the morgue. Diane is arrested and taken away.

Start: Diane takes Nick (her son) away from the mansion because he’s upset over the death of his father.

Challenging Situation: It’s impossible for Diane to explain what happened to Michael not only to their son but even more impossible to explain to her parents.

Conflict: Her parents call the police and the police believe they are investigating a murder or cult killing. Since Diane refuses to cooperate, the police are able to rely on Nick’s memory of where the mansion is located.

Action: The police raid the mansion and find Michael’s body in the pod. Thomas convinces the Professor to run for it while he stays with Michael’s body. The police aren’t buying any of it.

Finish: Diane and Thomas are taken away and the coroner takes Michael’s body.

ACT V:

EXT. DARLINGTON MANSION – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Secret Identity – The Professor is able to create a material representation of himself when doing Astral Projection to get Diane and Thomas out of jail.

Other: Imminent Threat – If they can’t get Michael’s body temperature moderated at the precise temperature defined by Thomas, Michael will not have a body to return to.

Other: Deception – The Professor deceives the police, convincing them he’s an armed accomplice breaking Diane and Thomas out of jail.

The Professor escapes while Diane and Thomas have been arrested and Michael’s body has been taken to the morgue. The Professor uses his technique of creating a material representation of himself (You’ll see him do this and explain in a later episode) to materialize in the jail with a gun. He sits in a meditation position on the floor of a white work van and closes his eyes. The dust and debris in the jail swirls like a dust storm and the Professor materializes inside the police station holding a gun. He forces the police to release Diane and Thomas then jails the local sheriff’s staff. When they leave the jail, the materialization dissolves into particles on the ground. The door of a van waiting in the parking lot opens and the Professor steps out. The Professor warns Diane that if they don’t get his body back, he will not be able to return.

Start: The Professor escapes from the police at the mansion.

Challenging Situation: The Professor must quickly find a way to get Diane and Thomas out of jail and recover Michael’s body or all hope of return for Michael is gone.

Conflict: The Professor has a gun that he has also materialized as part of his astral projection trick. The staff in the sheriff’s office believes it is a real gun and cooperate.

Action: The Professor gets Diane and Thomas released from jail and they escape, while the sheriff’s staff is locked up.

Finish: Diane and Thomas escape with the Professor in an old work van.

INT. MORGUE – NIGHT

Major Form of Intrigue: Secret Identity – Thomas (Our MIT engineer) appears to have had another life that involved picking locks.

Other: Imminent Threat – If they don’t escape from the cold storage area, they could die or Michael may not be able to return.

Other: Empathy/Distress – We feel empathy/distress over Diane’s situation with Michael’s dead body and other numerous dead bodies.

Thomas picks the lock on the back door of the morgue. The Professor makes a comment about studying lock-picking at MIT. Thomas, the Professor, and Diane enter the morgue and search out Michael’s body. They find the main refrigerated storage area that has numerous bodies covered on metal tables. As Diane lifts the sheets searching for Michael, she reveals numerous grotesque dead bodies that alarm her. After several bodies, the Professor pulls her to the side and tells her that he and Thomas will find Michael.

As they’re looking for Michael, an old janitor sees the freezer door open and closes it as he continues mopping. Thomas hears the door close and lock. He runs to it and can’t get the door open. The Professor finds Michael’s body. Diane joins the Professor as he checks Michael’s body temperature. He doesn’t like what he sees. Thomas rushes over to check Michael. The Professor tells him that they need to get Michael out of there so they can control his temperature. Thomas tells him that they’re trapped inside. Diane rushes to the door and pounds on it yelling for help. The janitor has headsets on listening to his portable radio and doesn’t hear her yelling for help. Diane pleads with Thomas and the Professor to do something. The Professor sits down, closes his eyes and crosses his legs. Diane questions why he’s sitting down and meditating at a time like this.

In the hallway, the janitor removes the mop from a bucket of water and plops the mop down on the floor. Suddenly, the water in the bucket begins churning and spinning. It spins higher and higher as it forms the professor’s body. The janitor starts to put the mop in the bucket when he realizes that the mop water is now spinning up into the air and has created a resemblance of the Professor. The Professor gets the janitor to go back and unlock the refrigeration door.

After the door is unlocked Thomas pushes Michael’s body out with Diane as the Professor comes out of his meditation. The water that was a materialization of the professor drops to the floor. A large puddle of water covers the floor. The janitor reaches down and touches it.

Start: They arrive at the morgue to get Michael’s body back.

Challenging Situation: When they find Michael’s body in the refrigeration room, they accidentally get locked in by the janitor.

Conflict: They can’t get out of the room.

Action: They must come up with a plan to get out of the locked room.

Finish: The Professor is able to project an image of himself to get the janitor to unlock the door.

INT. OCEAN OF SOULS

Major Form of Intrigue: Intriguing World – Michael arrives in a new reality that appears to be Heaven.

Other: Imminent Threat – A strange large metallic tube threatens to suck up residents of this new reality. Michael is finally plucked out by the tube.

Other: Wound – Michael has a run-in with the lady from the bank (a neighbor of his mother’s) who claims to have encountered his dead brother. Michael finds himself in Afghanistan where his brother is engaged in combat.

Michael arrives in the Ocean of Souls (Heaven). He sees the old lady from the bank drive by his old house. She waves and stops her car. She asks him what he’s doing in Heaven. She says that she saw his brother earlier but that God came and took him away. She asks if he’s seen her husband because she can’t find him or her friends. Later, Michael is plucked from the Ocean of Souls by a huge syringe shaped object that appears in the sky. He runs from it, not sure what it is. As he runs, he runs past the lady he talked with earlier as she’s plucked from her car. The car vanishes as he runs down the street.

As he’s running, he finds himself running onto a battlefield in Afghanistan. Suddenly an explosion rocks the area. Michael dives to the ground. A hand gently packs him on the back. His brother’s voice assures him he’s okay. He turns to find his older brother dressed in full battle gear with his weapon. His brother asks him what he’s doing there. As he starts to explain, his brother gets off a few rounds at the enemy. As he tries to have a conversation, his brother sees one of his men go down from enemy fire. He takes off to save him and another explosion goes off. Michael runs to him to help. His brother’s leg is blown off but his brother seems calm as he starts tying a tourniquet around it. Michael tries to help tie it. Suddenly, the strange and alien syringe looking object appears in the sky and starts lowering towards them. Michael spots it and knows what it’s capable of. Michael tells his brother they have to go. His brother tells him to leave him and go. Michael doesn’t want to leave him and tells him that he loves him.

As Michael runs the device sucks him out of that world.

Start: Michael finds himself in a new reality that resembles Heaven.

Challenging Situation: Michael finds himself in a reality that is anything but Heaven.

Conflict: Michael finds himself in a war zone with his brother.

Action: Michael’s brother gets injured and Michael tries to help.

Finish: Michael is plucked from “Heaven” by some alien device.

EXT. PLANET OF SEALS – DAY

Major Form of Intrigue: Intriguing World – After Michael is plucked from Heaven, he finds himself standing on an alien world in a gray synthetic leathery skin.

Other: Imminent Threat – Michael finds himself being whipped into obedience by black winged creatures along with hundreds of other new “skins”.

Michael is thrust into a bright light. He steps into it and instantly falls to his knees. He looks down at his hand that rests on some strange alien soil and rocks. Suddenly a snap of a whip induces a sharp pain in his back. He moans and stands. We now see his face as he It’s the shape of Michael’s head, but it’s covered with a gray leathery skin that has brown veins running all through it. Another snap of a whip registers more pain. Michael instantly grabs the whip and pulls on it. The creature snarls and yanks the whip away from Michael.

Michael is now on alien soil standing among a foreign and unfamiliar landscape. A strange grotesque creature that is black, resembling a bat, with large black wings, hovers in the air holding a whip. What is happening to Michael is happening to hundreds of other who have just arrived and are being urged to form a line down a alien landscape. In the distance are factories spewing black smoke into the air. Beyond that is a huge, black forest of trees.

Start: Michael arrives in a new reality.

Challenging Situation: Michael is in a different reality in a new synthetic skin and is being whipped by some alien creature.

Conflict: Michael grabs the whip of the creature whipping him.

Action: Michael is forced into a line of others just arriving in this world just like him.

Finish: Michael disappears into the line of others like him into a strange new alien world.

[Madeleine Vessel]

MADELEINE VESSEL’S Outline With Intrigue

Doing this assignment, I learned I can make my outline more intriguing by making a pass that highlights the main intrigue in each scene and then names the open loops, mystery, empathy/distress, payoff, irony, and setups for each scene.

CURRENT OUTLINE

Teaser:

EXT. THE BLACK SEA DURING A STORM – DAY (1846): INTRIGUING WORLD/SECRET IDENTITY

A man stands on the poop deck of an Imperial Russian Navy Ship of the Line watching a lifeboat, overflowing with survivors, rolling and pitching in high waves, moving toward him from a stricken sailing ship. He makes a frame around the scene with his hands.

Start: Black Sea during a stormChallenging Situation: A sailing ship with crew and passengers is in danger of sinking.Conflict: The Russian Navy Ship of the Line struggles to let down a lifeboat and rescue team in the wind and high seas,Action: Full of survivors, the lifeboat valiantly pulls away from the doomed sailing ship.Finish: The man on the poop deck watching the lifeboat pull away from the doomed sailing ship place makes a frame around the scene with his hands.Open Loop: The man is introduced without a name.Mystery: Who is the man on the poop deck?Empathy/Distress: Lifeboat full of survivors pulling away from the doomed sailing ship.Payoff: Irony: Setup: The man forms a frame around the scene with his hand.

INT. ART STUDION OIN THEODOSIA – DAY (A MONTH LATER): MYSTERY

Dressed in an artist’s smock and breeches, the man applies finishing touches to the same powerful rescue scene, rendered in oil on canvas.

Start: Same man from the poop deck applies finishing touches to a painting of the rescue at sea.Challenging Situation: Recreating the powerful rescue scene.Conflict: Action: Applying paint to canvas.Finish: The painting is powerful. Even a novice would recognize it as a masterpiece.Open Loop: Mystery: Who is the man? Empathy/Distress: Payoff: The framed scene now is an oil painting on canvas.Irony: Setup:

Act 1:

INT. LONE MOUNTAIN COLLEGE – FACULTY OFFICE – DAY (PRESENT): INTRIGUING WORLD

Holding a soft bristle brush, a hand in a surgical glove dusts the same painting, now obscured by an accumulation of grime and discolored varnish. The hand belongs to Dr. Sophie Wolf.

Start: A gloved hand holding a soft bristle brush dusts the same painting, no obscured by an accumulation of grime and discolored varnish. The hand belons to Dr. Sophie Wolf.Challenging Situation: Removing the dust from a painting without harming it.Conflict: Action: Sophie looking through the eyepiece of a digital camera sees the outer covering of dirt and old varnish moves to the background while the original artwork moves to the foreground. Suddenly, she puts down the camera and brushes dirt away from the artist’s signature. The painting is signed by Ivan Aivazovsky.Finish: Sophie calls her father, Zhora, on her mobile phone.Open Loop: Mystery: Whose hand cleans the painting? Who is Ivan Aivazovsky?Empathy/Distress: Payoff: The painting is signed by Ivan Aivazovsky.Irony: Setup:

INT. ZHORA’S APARTMENT – SAME

Zhora sits at a dining room table ,which doubles as his desk, translating a Russian document into English. Koshechka, al loafing cat, sprawls on top of the table amid the computer, printer, books, and papers. Zhora’s phone rings.

INTERCUT – TELEPHONE CONVERSATION between Sophie and Zhora: MYSTERY

Sophie asks Zhora, her father, about the painting she’s cleaning. It’s signed by Ivan Aivazovsky, one of the world’s best seascape painters. Zhora tells her it belonged to Pasha, Falisa’s deceased husband. He was a man who had secrets and who took all of them to the grave. They arrange to meet at Falisa’s to discuss her other paintings.

Start: Sophie tells Zhora the painting she’s cleaning for Falisa, Zhora’s fiancée, is signed by Ivan Aivazovsky.Challenging Situation: Conflict: Zhora argues against Sophie’s theory that the painting is a genuine masterpiece by Ivan Aivazovsky. When she wants to more about the painting, he tells her it belonged to Falisa’s deceased husband, Pasha, who took all his secrets to his grave.Action: Talking on the telephone.Finish: Zhora warns Sophie to tell no one of her suspicions. ”Trust no one.” Sophie promises to keep the painting safe.Open Loop: Is the painting a genuine Ivan Aivazovsky?Mystery: Who is Pasha? What secrets did he take to his grave?Empathy/Distress: Zhora is worried Sophie may have told someone else about the possible value of the painting.Payoff: Irony: Sophie never trusts anyone.Setup: Lunch date with Falisa to further discuss her oil paintings.

INT. LONE MOUNTAI COLLEGE – SOPHIE’S FACULTY OFFICE – DAY: MYSTERY

Sophie conducts an Internet search of Aivazovsky sales. If genuine, the painting could be worth more than $5 million.

Start: Sophie conducts an Internet search for Ivan Aivazovsky. If genuine, the painting she’s cleaning is worth over $5 million.Challenging Situation: She has in her possession possibly a very valuable painting that should be under guard somewhere.Conflict: Is the painting really by Ivan Aivazovsky?Action: Internet searchFinish: Mobile phone rings. Her friend, Olivia Carr, wants to show her the Russian Art Exhibition catalog.

· Open Loop: Is the painting really by Ivan Aivazovsky?

· Mystery: What is “Immortal Movement”? Who was Demyan Sazanov?

Empathy/Distress: She’s a bit worried about having a $5 million painting in her office without any safeguards.Payoff: Irony: Setup: Olivia wants to show Sophie the newly delivered Russian Art Exhibition catalog.

INT. LONE MOUNTAIN COLLEGE – SOPHIE’S FACULTY OFFICE – DAY

Sophie dusts the back of the Aivazovsky painting. She finds a line of Cyrillic script that translates to, “Rescue at Sea. For Demyan Sazanov, a seaman in the Imperial Russian Navy and a man of valor – 1846.” She finds these words carved into the canvas’s wooden frame: “Immortal Movement.” Introduces museum curator, Olivia Carr. She calls Sophie and arranges to pick her up for a lunch meeting.

Start: Olivia Carr, a San Francisco museum curator and Sophie’s friend, wants to show Sophie an art exhibition catalog,Challenging Situation: What does Sophie do with a possibly valuable painting while she’s out with Olivia?Conflict: Sophie doesn’t want to break away from what she’s doing, but Olivia Carr ends the call before Sophie can say no.Action: Sophie is examining the painting. Olivia is walking and driving.Finish: Sophie hides the painting in a secret drawer under the top of her worktable.Open Loop: Will the painting be safe in the drawer? What is the meaning of Immortal Movement?Mystery: Who was Demyan Sazanov?Empathy/Distress: Sophie’s worried about the safety of the painting.Payoff: She finds out the words Immortal Movement.Irony: Setup: Meeting with Olivia.

INT. PIER 39 RESTAURANT – DAY: MYSTERY

Over lunch, Sophie waits for a text from Zhora while she and Olivia discuss the Russian Art Exhibition both are working on. During their conversation, Vitaly Burundukov and Logan Johnson are introduced. There is also the mention of delegates from the Russian consulate being invited to the exhibition. We find out that Sophie’s scholarship is behind the Russian Art Exhibition. We also learn that she doesn’t want much personal publicity. It’s curious. Why not?

Start: Sophie and Olivia sit at a table sipping wine, nibbling Italian bread, and perusing copies of the Russian Exhibition catalog.Challenging Situation: Olivia gives Sophie an invitation for two to the Russian Art Exhibition’s opening reception. Sophie can take a guest if she wants, but she doesn’t know anyone. The only people she associates with are nuns.Conflict: Olivia would have listed Sophie’s major achievements and her photo in the catalog because it’s on Sophie’s scholarship that the exhibition is based.Action: Eating, perusing the catalog.Finish: Olivia asks Sophie if it worries her that the only people she associates with are nuns.Open Loop: Why doesn’t Sophie want publicity? Who is coming to the exhibition from the Russian Consulate?Mystery: Who is Vitaly Burundukov? Who is Logan Johnson? Empathy/Distress: Sophie doesn’t know anyone to take to the exhibition. The only people she hangs out with are nuns.Payoff: Irony: Setup: Will she find a date for the exhibition?

Act 2:

INT. FALISA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

Aleksei Lukin and Kazimir Nasonov pack three of Falisa’s Old Russian Masters into two portfolios. There should be four. They are missing one and they are worried about it.

Zhora and Falisa surprise them in the act of stealing the paintings. Kazimir fatally shoots Falisa and seriously wounds Zhora. The two get away with the paintings in a black SUV while their victims lie on the ground bleeding.

Start: Aleksei Lukin and Kazimir Nasonov are in Falisa’s living room packing three unframed paintings into portfolios.Challenging Situation: There should be four paintings. What are Aleksei and Kazimir going to do about not finding the fourth.Conflict: Aleksei is angry with Kazimir for shooting Zhora and Falisa.Action: Kazimir fires his silenced 10mm Smith & Wesson, fatally wounding Falisa and critically injuring Zhora.Finish: Aleksei and Kazimir speed away from Falisa’s house in a black SUV.Open Loop: Where will they find the fourth painting?Mystery: How did the art thieves know about Falisa’s paintings?Empathy/Distress: Kazimir shoots and kills Falisa and shoots and badly injures Zhora.Payoff: Irony: Setup: Bleeding bodies of Zhora and Falisa are waiting to be discovered.

INT. SF INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – DAY: MYSTERY

We meet Vitaly Burundukov and his French model girlfriend, Aimee La Roux heading for the terminal exit.

We also meet FBI Agent Bill Hillman and his ten-year-old daughter, Lucy, there to meet Bill’s mother, Hannah. She is coming for a visit to babysit Lucy while Bill is in Russia giving a talk on organized crime.

Bill receives a telephone call from San Francisco Police Detective Dave Sharp, who is seeing Zhora into an ambulance. Dave found Bill’s card on Zhora and made the call to let him know Zhora thinks the shooters were enemies from his past and that Zhora’s worried about his daughter.

Bill tells Dave he’s headed for the hospital and that he’ll take care of Sophie.

Start: Introducing Vitaly Burundukov and his French model girlfriend, Aimee La Roux.Challenging Situation: Bill hears from San Francisco Police Detective Dave Sharp that Zhora has been critically injured by Russian shooters and Falisa’s been killed. Dave tells Bill that Zhora thinks the shooters were enemies from his past.Conflict: Does Bill take Hannah and Lucy home, or does he go directly to the hospital where his informant lying near death.Action: Removing luggage from the baggage carousel.Finish: Bill tells Dave he’ll take care of Sophie.Open Loop: Bill is on his way to the hospital.Mystery: Is Bill law enforcement?Empathy/Distress: Bill learns that Zhora’s in critical condition.Payoff: Irony: Setup: Bill’s heading for the hospital.

Act 3:

EXT. SF PARKING LOT – DAY: CONSPIRACY

Aleksei and Kazimir turn over the stolen paintings to Iosif Emin. Iosif is angry that there was a confrontation that ended in shooting.

Iosif sends Aleksei and Kazimir to break into Zhora’s apartment with the objective of finding and stealing the fourth painting.

Start: Introduces Iosif Emin. He’s the one giving orders to Aleksei and Kazimir.Challenging Situation: Iosif receives only three stolen paintings. Where is the fourth?Conflict: Iosif is furious that there was gunplay and Zhora and Falisa were shot.Action: Transferring paintings from SUV to Iosif’s car. Aleksei receives a photo of Zhora and his home address with instructions from Iosif to find the fourth painting. It must be at Zhora’sFinish: Iosif warns them, “No more collateral damage.Open Loop: Is the missing painting in Zhora’s apartment?Mystery: Is Iosif calling the shots, or is someone more senior doing so?Empathy/Distress: No more collateral damage threatens Kazimir’s life.Payoff: Irony: Setup: Aleksei and Kazimir are headed for Zhora’s apartment.

INT. ZHORA’S HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY – WOUND

Sophie arrives in Zhora’s hospital room and finds him in critical condition. He’s accompanied by FBI Agent Bill Hillman, who is watching out for him.

Sophie learns that Zhora has not been entirely truthful with her. Ignoring their U. S. Witness Protection Program restrictions, Zhora has been working for Bill as an informant, putting himself in jeopardy of being identified by FSB.

Bill tells Sophie that he will protect her.

Start: Sophie arrives at Zhora’s hospital room. There she meets FBI Agent Bill Hillman.Challenging Situation: Sophie finds out that Zhora is not just a Russian translator. He’s also been working as an informant for Bill, putting them all at risk of being found out by the FSB.Conflict: Bill tells Sophie he will take care of her. She tells him she can take care of herself.Action: Talking around hospital bed. Finish: Bill takes a seat outside Zhora’s hospital room to protect him against another attempt at his life.Open Loop: Is Zhora still in jeopardy?Mystery: Who are Zhora’s enemies from the past?Empathy/Distress: Zhora’s in critical condition. Sophie’s worried. Did FSB shoot Zhora?Payoff: Irony: Setup: Bill promises to protect Sophie.

INT. ZHORA’S AND SOPHIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD

Aleksei and Kazimir break into Zhora’s and Sophie’s apartment. They search the place for the missing painting.

They are surprised in the act by Sophie’s return home.

Start: Aleksei and Kazimir break into Zhora’s and Sophie’s apartment and turn off the alarm.Challenging Situation: They need to shut off the alarm before it sounds.Conflict: Aleksei and Kazimir argue over how to treat the cat, Koshechka.Action: Aleksei searches the house. Kazimir opens the gate down the backstairs for a quick get awayFinish: Aleksei and Kazimir hear Sophie’s key turning in the door lock.Open Loop: Sophie is walking into a burglary in progress.Mystery: Will the art thieves find what they are looking for?Empathy/Distress: What will happen to Koschechka? Payoff: Irony: Setup: Will Sophie confront the burglars?

Act 4:

INT. ZHORA’S AND SOPHIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT: IMMINENT THREAT

Returning home, Sophie realizes there are intruders in the apartment and calls Bill for help, but he doesn’t pick up. Sophie is on her own.

She bumps into Aleksei and sees his face as he and Kazimir are making their escape. It’s a terrifying experience that ends with her falling down the stairs onto Bill who is arriving late.

Bill and Sophie search the apartment to find out what the intruders were after. They conclude the intruders probably were not FSB and they might be art thieves after Falisa’s painting.

Bill sees a photo of Yelena Tebieva and learns that she is Sophie’s mother. He hopes with every fiber of his being that Zhora has not been in contact with his wife since he arrived in the U. S. She could point the FSB to Zhora’s and Sophie’s whereabouts.

Start: Sophie returns home to find intruders (Aleksei and Kazimir) in her and Zhora’s apartmentChallenging Situation: She calls Bill for help but he doesn’t pick up. She’s on her own with the intruders.Conflict: Bill goes to access Zhora’s safe. Sophie tells him she doesn’t have the combination. Bjut he already knows it by heart.Action: She bumps into Aleksei, sees his face, backs away, falls down the stairs, and lands on Bill.Finish: Sophie realizes that the intruders were art thieves, not FSB. They were after the fourth Old Russian Master.Open Loop: Will Sophie survive her encounter with the intruders? Aleksei and Kazimir know where Sophie lives. Mystery: Will Bill come to save Sophie/Empathy/Distress: She’s on her own with the intruders because Bill doesn’t respond to her call for help.Payoff: Bill does arrive.Irony: Setup: Were the intruders art thieves or FSB?

Act 5:

INT. FALISA’S HOUSE – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD

Bill and Sophie break into Falisa’s house to find out whether her paintings are stolen.

The paintings are gone.

The conclusion is that the shooters were art thieves, not FSB.

Bill finds a key to a unit at Ocean Beach Self Storage in Falisa’s kitchen and pockets it.

Start: Sophie and Bill break into Falisa’s house, still cordoned off with crime scene tape.Challenging Situation: They need to find out whether Falisa’s paintings are missing without attracting the attention of the police.Conflict: Action: Breaking and entering, searching Falisa’s house.Finish: Bill finds a key to a unit at Ocean Beach Self Storage in Falisa’s house.Open Loop: Mystery: What’s in Falisa’s self-storage unit?Empathy/Distress: They worry breaking into Falisa’s house because it’s still a police crime scene.Payoff: The paintings are gone. The shooters are art thieves, not FSB.Irony: Setup: Bill has the key to the self-storage unit. Obviously, he’ll be going there soon.

EXT. ZHORA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD

Bill takes Sophie home. He’s afraid the thieves might return, but Sophie reasons that they already know that the painting is not there.

He makes sure Sophie is locked into her apartment and leaves for home.

Start: Bill drops Sophie off at home. She finds Koshechka.Challenging Situation: Should Bill leave her all alone, knowing the art thieves are still on the loose.Conflict: Sophie insists that the art thieves already know the painting they are looking for is not in her apartment.Action: Finding and picking up Koshechka. Bill making sure the door is bolted.Finish: Bill and Sophie saying goodnight to one another through a bolted door.Open Loop: Will the art thieves find the missing painting.Mystery: Who are the art thieves?Empathy/Distress: The art thieves know where Sophie lives.Payoff: Irony: Setup: Bill already shows signs of caring about Sophie.

INT. BILL’S HOUSE – NIGHT: WOUND

Bill puts Lucy to bed.

Bill and Hannah eat in the kitchen over pie and coffee. We find out that Bill is a widower, that Hannah wants to see him and Lucy happy, and that Bill is okay being a single dad.

Start: Bill puts Lucy to bed. Challenging Situation: Hannah is trying to encourage Bill to find a new mate. He’s happy the way things are.Conflict: Bill tells Lucy to put her mobile phone away. She doesn’t want to and sulks.Action: Bill kissing Lucy goodnight. Hannah serving Bill coffee and pie.Finish: Bill tells his mother, “We’re good the way we are.”Open Loop: Will Bill and Sophie get together?Mystery: How did Bill’s wife die?Empathy/Distress: It turns out Bill is a widower?Payoff: Irony: Setup:

INT. ZHORA’S HOUSE – NIGHT: WOUND

Sophie sits on her bed holding a photograph of Zhora, worrying about whether or not he will live or die.

Start: Sophie sitting on her bed holding a photograph of Zhora.Challenging Situation: Sophie is afraid of losing Zhora. “Please be okay, Papa.”Conflict: Action: Finish: Sophie holds Zhora’s photograph.Open Loop: Will Zhora live or die?Mystery: Empathy/Distress: Sophie’s afraid of losing Zhora.Payoff: Irony: Setup:

[George Petersen]

George Petersen – OUTLINE WITH INTRIGUE

What I learned doing this assignment is that outlines are incredibly complex.

THE ART OF SECRECY

Teaser: CONSPIRACY

Lincoln is pulled apart by an angry mob at a Baltimore train station.

Start: Transferring between trains, Lincoln looks worn out, but calm. He smiles, gets in the carriage with Mary.

Challenging Situation: The large crowd presses in. The horses can’t move. When the driver asks them to move, the crowd won’t budge.

Conflict: As Lincoln stands in the carriage and gives a speech of reconciliation and the need for Americans to unite behind democracy and be a light of hope to the world… a gang member grabs his ankle and pulls him down. Within seconds, he is swept away into the roaring mob.

Action: Lincoln is torn apart by the vicious mob.

Finish: Mary lets out a bloody scream. A top hat flies through the air.

Open Loop: Will Lincoln make it through Baltimore alive?

Mystery: Why are people attacking Lincoln?

Empathy/Distress: The President is being harmed, perhaps murdered.

Payoff: Later it will be revealed if this is a dream, a plan or what.

Irony: The first American president to be assassinated doesn’t believe an American citizen would harm him.

Setup: This scene sets the stage for an assassination theme.

Act 1:

EXT. STREETS – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD

Chicago. 1861. The beginning of new year. What will it bring?

Somehow these sentiments are communicated as Kate walks through the windy streets of the city on the way to her interview.

Start: Kate walks past a sign advertising a fireworks display for the new year, 1861. She walks past a Chicago landmark.

Challenging Situation: The wind is brisk.

Conflict: Kate stops walking, looks up at the stairs leading to the offices of the Pinkerton Detective Agency. After a solemn moment, she turns and walks away.

Action: She stops walking, takes out a newspaper clipping: Detective Wanted for the Pinkerton Agency. She turns, looks back at the offices.

Finish: With a determined gait, Kate climbs the stairs leading into the offices of the Pinkerton Detective Agency.

Open Loop: Who is this young woman?

Mystery: Where is she going?

Empathy/Distress: The wind is strong and harsh.

Payoff: The Pinkerton Detective Agency is her destination.

Irony: She looks to be 27, 28 maybe. And very beautiful. How could a husband cheat on her?

Setup: Why does she want to visit a detective agency? Has her husband cheated on her?

INT. PINKERTON’S OFFICE – DAY – WOUND

Kate convinces Pinkerton to hire her as the first woman detective. Though Pinkerton hires Kate, he won’t assign her to anything too dangerous. She’s a woman after all.

INTRIGUING WORLD: Pinkerton assigns Kate to a case that isn’t going anywhere: The Adams Express Company embezzlement. Kate goes undercover, befriends the wife of the thief and recovers the stolen money.

Start: Kate is a young widow looking for a job. She wants to be independent. She’s not looking to get married any time soon: been there, done that.

Challenging Situation: Kate applies for a job for which there is no precedent: there has never been a woman detective.

Conflict: Pinkerton tells Kate there are no clerical openings. She corrects him: she’s applying for the detective job.

Action: Kate explains to Pinkerton that women have their ways of obtaining information that men don’t have. They’re more easily trusted. And better observers than men. Besides, she would welcome the opportunity to put her acting skills to use.

Finish: Kate becomes America’s first woman detective.

Open Loop: Will Kate succeed in an occupation exclusive to men?

Mystery: What are these secret ways of women that Kate talks about? How does that work?

Empathy/Distress: At first, Kate is told she cannot have the job because of her gender.

Payoff: Kate gets the job and becomes the first American woman detective.

Irony: Can a woman do detective work as well as a man?

Setup: Just how good is she? What can Kate accomplish as a woman detective, if anything?

INT. FELTON’S OFFICE – DAY – MYSTERY

Pinkerton is asked to help protect the rail bridges leading into Baltimore.

Start: Pinkerton, modestly dressed, is a little intimidated by the plush office of the railroad president.

Challenging Situation: Felton tells Pinkerton that men in red shirts hang out under the rail bridges leading into Baltimore. There are rumors they plan to burn the bridges.

Conflict: Felton explains to Pinkerton that if the red shirts burn the bridges, there will be no way to send troops from the Northern states to Washington. He emphasizes that his rail line is the only way northern troops can come to the aid of Washington. If the rail bridges burn, Washington will be vulnerable and unprotected, given how President Buchanan has refused to build up defenses. Southern mobs will be free to attack the capital and make it the center of the Confederacy.

Action: Felton explains the situation using a model diorama in his office.

Finish: Pinkerton agrees to take the case and find out what the red shirts are up to.

Open Loop: What will happen to the bridges? Will they burn as Felton fears?

Mystery: Who are the red shirts and what are they up to?

Empathy/Distress: If there is a war, Felton could lose his railroad. He’s vey stressed out about it.

Payoff: Season 1 will end with the bridges burning.

Irony: Felton feels it will take a railroad man to solve a railroad problem. Pinkerton has the reputation for railroad security.

Setup: The burning of the bridges sets up the mystery.

INT. PINKERTON’S HOME – DAY – CONSPIRACY

Pinkerton says goodbye to the black family he has been hiding in his home as part of the Underground Railroad.

Start: Pinkerton returns home to his wife and two sons and then goes to a secret room where a black family is hiding.

Challenging Situation: How to get the family on the road to Canada without getting caught.

Conflict: The family fears the last leg of their journey. If they get caught, they will be sent back to the plantation. And if they make it, will they be able to live happily in a new country? Pinkerton shares his own experience of being cut off from his homeland, Scotland, and being hunted for his activities supporting democracy and workers’ rights. You’ll be fine.

Action: Pinkerton gives the father and son lessons in how to be a Cooper, a maker of casks and barrels. He tells them they will need these skills when they get to Canada.

Finish: Pinkerton sends the family off. An emotional farewell.

Open Loop: Will Pinkerton be true to his beliefs when challenged?

Mystery: What is a black family doing in Pinkerton’s house?

Empathy/Distress: A black family in hiding, making the journey on the Underground Railroad.

Payoff: Pinkerton is idealistic after all.

Irony: A white man helping a vulnerable black family at his own risk.

Setup: The theme of the struggle for freedom.

INT. PINKERTON’S OFFICE – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

SECRET IDENTITY: The newspapers cover the story about Kate’s use of a secret identity to befriend the robber’s wife. She’s famous now as the first woman detective.

SECRET: Kate won’t reveal to Pinkerton the details of the case, how a woman managed to do what experienced male detectives couldn’t do, unless he assigns her to the Baltimore team. Pinkerton refuses. He won’t be blackmailed.

Start: Kate enters the office a little shy about her newfound fame.

Challenging Situation: Pinkerton shows Kate the newspaper story about her success in the Adams Express case. He’s very proud of her and for what she has done for the agency.

Conflict: Kate won’t reveal to Pinkerton the details of the case, how a woman managed to do what experienced male detectives couldn’t do, unless he assigns her to the Baltimore team.

Action: Pinkerton refuses. He won’t be blackmailed.

Finish: Pinkerton tells Kate that the Baltimore team’s investigation is far too dangerous for a woman. Any woman. And not to take it personally. But Kate won’t talk with him about the details of the Adams Express job.

Open Loop: Will the Baltimore team be successful?

Mystery: What is the Baltimore team and what is their plan?

Empathy/Distress: Kate is excluded from the Baltimore team just because she’s a woman. This, despite her success in the Adams Express case.

Payoff: Kate is shown as a woman who takes action, not accepting things passively.

Irony: The Baltimore team loses its best detective just because she’s a woman.

Setup: The Baltimore team sets up the red shirts mystery.

EXT. STREET – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY

Act 1 TURNING POINT- Newspaper reporters hound Pinkerton. They want to know more about Kate.

Start: Pinkerton exits the door to his offices, looks up at the sky. It’s raining. He bursts open his umbrella and only gets to the bottom of the stairs where the reporters surround him.

Challenging Situation: Kate is getting more notoriety than Pinkerton. How can he keep this horse in its stable?

Conflict: At first, the reporters crowd around him and he can’t move. Then he breaks through them and they follow him.

Action: The Newspaper reporters follow Pinkerton down the street and hound him with questions.

Finish: Pinkerton looks flustered as he makes his way down the street in among a cluster of umbrellas.

Open Loop: What abilities and skills does a woman detective have that men don’t have?

Mystery: The skills Kate used in the Adams Express case will be used in Baltimore.

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton is under pressure from the reporters to reveal details about the Adams Express case that Kate won’t reveal to him.

Payoff: Pinkerton is shown to a man challenged by Kate’s new approach and skills in solving a case.

Irony: Pinkerton has the best asset for the Red Shirts case but he can’t use it.

Setup: The reporters set up the fact that Kate has a new approach to solving cases.

INT. PINKERTON’S HOME – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

Pinkerton changes his mind at the last minute, assigns Kate to the team leaving for Baltimore.

Start: Tension at the dinner table. Kate is conflicted.

Challenging Situation: A goodbye dinner for Pinkerton who will be leaving for Baltimore. Kate is to help oversee the family in his absence.

Conflict: Pinkerton’s boys misbehave, excited to have a dinner guest.

Action: Pinkerton tells Kate that he has changed his mind and assigned her to the Baltimore team.

Finish: Kate is happy, excited to be going.

Open Loop: Will Kate be a part of this family going forward?

Mystery: Why has Kate been invited to dinner?

Empathy/Distress: The boys misbehave in a way that frustrates Pinkerton.

Payoff: Pinkerton informs Kate that he is assigning her to the Baltimore team.

Irony: Kate thinks she will be asked to help with the family in Pinkerton’s absence. But Pinkerton’s wife is a strong, capable woman.

Setup: Kate helps entertain the boys in a way Pinkerton cannot.

EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY

February. Kate, Pinkerton and his team leave for Baltimore.

Start: Waiting to board on the station platform, Pinkerton checks his watch.

Challenging Situation: Pinkerton is trying to get his team aboard the train without attracting attention. It’s a secret mission after all. But Kate is late.

Conflict: A reporter spots Pinkerton. He freezes.

Action: Pinkerton works his way to the last car before boarding, the reporter following him.

Finish: Kate arrives and another detective on the team gets her onboard. Pinkerton confronts her about the necessity of secrecy. Making your connection is essential to maintaining secrecy.

Open Loop: Will Kate and Pinkerton get along?

Mystery: Why is Kate late?

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton is under stress because Kate is late. The presence of a reporter gives him more stress. How will he maintain secrecy?

Payoff: Pinkerton gives Kate a lecture on the art of secrecy. Everyone needs to work together. You must be there for the handoff. Make the connection.

Irony: Pinkerton needs to share secrets if he wants to maintain secrecy.

Setup: Kate learns the basics of being a spy on a team.

EXT. STREETS – DAY – WOUND

In Springfield, Lincoln walks the tree-lined streets, says goodbye to his neighbors. Deeply felt.

Start: Lincoln starts his walk with a brisk step.

Challenging Situation: Lincoln tries to maintain proper composure on the outside for what is heart-wrenching in the inside.

Conflict: Lincoln is conflicted about leaving his home for Washington and leaving Willy’s gravesite.

Action: Lincoln shakes hands and embraces his dear friends. The men choke up; the women cry. Everyone’s worried about what may happen to him.

Finish: Now Lincoln meanders, a bit of a lost soul.

Open Loop: Will Lincoln be able to keep his promise to Willy?

Mystery: Why is Lincoln in a cemetery?

Empathy/Distress: Lincoln is in distress at the thought of leaving Willy’s gravesite.

Payoff: Lincoln is shown to be a man of deep feeling.

Irony: In death, Lincoln finds strength to fight for life and freedom. He must be true. True to Willy.

Setup: Lincoln makes a promise to Willy.

INT. TRAIN CAR – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD

At the team meeting: MYSTERY: The team’s objective is to investigate a rumor that Southern sympathizers are planning to burn the rail bridges around the city in order to prevent Yankee troops from passing through on their way to Washington.

Pinkerton takes Kate aside: UNDESERVED SUFFERING: But being a spy is more dangerous than being a detective, so she must understand that she will be kept in the background. Because she is a woman, she will not be allowed to go deep undercover.

Start: Kate is excited.

Challenging Situation: All the passengers are huddled next to the stovepipe heater at one end of the train car. Pinkerton’s team is huddled on the other end.

Conflict: Pinkerton tells Kate that because she is a woman, she will not be allowed to go deep undercover. It’s far too dangerous for a woman.

Action: Using a foldout map as his guide, Pinkerton lays out the plan to discover who the red shirts are and what they are up to. Do they plan to burn the bridges? And, if so, why? Is it a Southern plot, like Felton has suggested? Or is this some kind of gang thing?

Finish: Kate sulks.

Open Loop: Will Kate ever be able to break out on her own?

Mystery: What’s so dangerous about the red shirts?

Empathy/Distress: Kate has her boundaries set.

Payoff: Kate is professional, despite her hopes.

Irony: The best detective is sidelined.

Setup: Kate will be the detective to uncover the plot.

Act 2:

EXT. STREETS – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD

Kate and Pinkerton go undercover as Union spies. Finally, Kate gets to put her acting talents to the test.

Start: Kate walks the streets of Mobtown wide-eyed.

Challenging Situation: How is Kate going to find out anything about the red shirts who hang around the base of the bridges?

Conflict: Kate gets pushed around because the Southern sympathizers see her as a Northerner.

Action: Kate notices well dressed gentlemen make surreptitious hand gestures to one another as they pass each other on the street.

Finish: Finding it odd, Kate gets Pinkerton and has him confirm it.

Open Loop: Who are the well dressed gentlemen who make hand gestures to each other as they walk down the street.

Mystery: What are these people up to?

Empathy/Distress: Kate gets pushed around a bit as she’s mistaken for a Northerner.

Payoff: Kate in action at last.

Irony: If these Southerners only knew who they were pushing around.

Setup: Shows Kate getting her bearings. Also revealed are her keen observation skills.

INT. HOTEL DINING ROOM – DAY – DECEPTION

INTRIGUING WORLD: Kate enters Mobtown, the powder keg world of Baltimore as Miss Kate, spirited Southern socialite. Pinkerton becomes Mr. Hutchinson, wealthy stockbroker in the arms trade. Together they set out to learn why the red shirts are planning to burn the bridges that lead into Baltimore.

Start: Kate, now Miss Dixie, makes her entrance in a dress covered in little Confederate flags with an umbrella to match. Pinkerton, now Mr. Hutchinson, wears a fine suit with a bowler hat and a Palmetto pin on his lapel.

Challenging Situation: How are Kate and Pinkerton going to find out anything in this city hostile to newcomers?

Conflict: Angelina, sitting at a neighboring table with her husband, Rhett, compliments Kate on her dress. But Rhett examines Pinkerton suspiciously.

Action: Angelina and Kate strike up a nonstop conversation and excuse themselves to the powder room.

Finish: Rhett doesn’t like stockbrokers like Pinkerton. He’s a volunteer fireman with the local hook and ladder association. He works for a living. But Pinkerton impresses him with the performance of skyrocketing firearm stocks.

Open Loop: What happens when Angelina and Rhett find out who Kate and Pinkerton actually are?

Mystery: Who is this Rhett? He’s not very sociable.

Empathy/Distress: Rhett puts Pinkerton on edge, but he tries not to show it.

Payoff: Kate is finally where she wants to be.

Irony: Rhett thinks of Pinkerton as a lazy rich guy, but he’s actually a former Cooper, a maker of casks and barrels.

Setup: Kate and Pinkerton make their first penetration of Southern society.

INT. LINCOLN’S HOME – DAY – IMMINENT THREAT

In Springfield, Lincoln attends an informal planning meeting with aids in his home. He wants to take the direct rail route to Washington, but he is convinced that it’s too dangerous going through Southern states. He reluctantly agrees to the long northern route through Buffalo and New York.

Start: Lincoln listens intently to the heated conversation, but doesn’t say a word.

Challenging Situation: How to get Lincoln to Washington safely and without being ridiculed.

Conflict: The team argues over railroad maps and routes.

Action: Lincoln is presented with two choices: Take the direct route and risk mockery or worse by the Southern sympathizers and slaveholders, or… take the much longer northern route through New York.

Finish: Lincoln chooses the longer, more populous northern route because it will give him an opportunity to meet the people he will lead.

Open Loop: Will Lincoln get to Washington alive?

Mystery: What would the Southern sympathizers do to Lincoln if they had the chance?

Empathy/Distress: The danger that could come with making the wrong decision.

Payoff: Presents Lincoln as a man who enjoys people.

Irony: A kind man who is the target of violence.

Setup: The wandering route with its city stops is made clear through the maps. As well as the notion that it isn’t one rail company making the trip. Each route from one major city to another is one rail company. So the trip is a series of rail companies linked together as one.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY – CONSPIRACY

CONSPIRACY: Angelina takes Kate under her wing, explains to her who’s who in the Mobtown world.

HIDDEN AGENDA: Angelina boasts to Kate that her husband is part of a secret society devoted to the expansion of slavery and that there is a plan brewing that will shorten the war to a couple weeks, a month at most.

Start: Kate and Angelina sit together and laugh like sisters.

Challenging Situation: Angelina invites Kate to her home. Better not slip up here.

Conflict: Angelina boasts to Kate that her husband is part of a secret society devoted to the expansion of slavery and that there is a plan brewing that will shorten the war to a couple weeks, a month at most. How? Kill Lincoln. Burn the bridges and block northern troops from aiding Washington. Attack the capital and make it the capital of the new Confederacy. Kate declines to go to her home because she’s afraid to be around Rhett, a powerful man.

Action: Angelina explains to Kate who’s who in the Mobtown world.

Finish: Angelina tells Kate that Rhett isn’t home. It’s Friday night. He always has business on Friday nights.

Open Loop: Will Kate learn about the scheme Rhett is involved in? Everyone in the South wants to kill Lincoln, but who is planning to actually do it?

Mystery: What is the connection between burning the bridges, killing Lincoln and splitting the Union in two?

Empathy/Distress: Kate doesn’t like to be around Rhett.

Payoff: Befriending Angelina is paying off for Kate.

Irony: Sweet Angelina is Kate’s link to simmering violence.

Setup: Visiting Angelina’s home will bring her closer to the conspiracy.

INT. ANGELINA’S DRAWING ROOM – DAY – IMMINENT THREAT

Turning Point/Midpoint: In an encounter with Angelina’s drunk husband, Rhett of the Black Snakes gang, Miss Dixie discovers that the rumored assassination plot is real and Captain Ferrandini is the ringleader, the one behind it making it happen.

Start: Kate and Angelina enjoy their tea together.

Challenging Situation: Angelina receives word that Rhett is too drunk to make it home alone. She had better come get him.

Conflict: When Kate is alone, Rhett shows up in the doorway, totally plastered. He comes on to Kate.

Action: Kate turns the tables and threatens the greatly confused Rhett, who falls backward into the doorway and confesses that Ferrandini is the one she should talk to if she wants in on the plot to assassinate Lincoln when he passes through Baltimore.

Finish: Angelina shows up in the doorway perplexed.

Open Loop: Will Kate learn about who is behind the conspiracy?

Mystery: What is it that Rhett is involved with? How does he play in this?

Empathy/Distress: A drunken Rhett makes moves on Kate.

Payoff: Befriending Angelina is paying off big.

Irony: Pinkerton has to admit: Kate is getting deeper into the plot than he is.

Setup: Finally, Kate has significant intelligence to deliver to Pinkerton.

Act 3:

INT. PINKERTON’S SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT – HIDDEN AGENDA

In response to what Kate has learned, Pinkerton trains her on the art of secrecy and how to be a Union spy.

Start: Pinkerton is stunned to learn his barber is the ringleader of the assassination plot.

Challenging Situation: How to get close to Ferrandini without tipping him off?

Conflict: Pinkerton acknowledges that Ferrandini is his barber and the one he has been pumping information from.

Action: In response to what Kate has learned, Pinkerton trains her on the art of secrecy and how to be a Union spy.

Finish: Kate and Pinkerton set up a ruse that targets Ferrandini.

Open Loop: Who will get to Ferrandini first: Kate or Pinkerton. They plan to work him from both angles. The masculine approach, all macho and ego, and the feminine approach, all… well, what is that approach? And, which approach will win?

Mystery: Who really is Captain Ferrandini and what is he up to?

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton is forced to admit that Kate is on to something.

Payoff: Kate delivers a name to Pinkerton, a name that will launch the investigation. Now they have a target.

Irony: Is a woman’s approach to spying more powerful than a man’s?

Setup: With Kate’s success, Pinkerton is now motivated to go all in on training her.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY – DECEPTION

Deception: The ruse: At a crowded luxury hotel lobby, Hutchinson attacks Miss Dixie for being a Union sympathizer. Ferrandini comes to Miss Dixie’s aid, protecting her reputation.

Start: Kate circulates the room, the social butterfly. Laughing, having a good time. Pinkerton enters, angry.

Challenging Situation: How to get Ferrandini to trust Kate without getting caught?

Conflict: Kate and Pinkerton stage a shouting match in the plush lobby. The staff try to put a stop to it, to no avail. Ferrandini is amused.

Action: At a crowded luxury hotel lobby, Hutchinson attacks Miss Dixie for being soft on the Union. Kate attacks him for being a money-grubbing firearms merchant.

Finish: Ferrandini defends Kate, takes her under his wing. Tells Pinkerton to get lost.

Open Loop: Will Kate make contact with the target, Ferrandini?

Mystery: Why are Kate and Pinkerton arguing and shouting at each other in public?

Empathy/Distress: Kate appears to be in extreme distress. She weeps openly.

Payoff: Kate can now work Ferrandini.

Irony: Kate appears to be the helpless one but she’s far from helpless.

Setup: Ferrandini falls for it: he comes to Kate’s rescue, defending her and telling Pinkerton to get lost.

INT. LINCOLN’S HOME – DAY – IMMINENT THREAT

In Springfield, Lincoln meets with his volunteer security detail, a motley crew of retired military advisors, full of bombastic hot air about what a great job they will do defending the President from the rebels.

Start: As always, Lincoln listens attentively while others talk and shout their views.

Challenging Situation: How to protect the President-Elect when there is no budget to do so?

Conflict: The retired military men argue about who should be in charge of protecting the President.

Action: Lincoln is presented with a plan of an armed guard of soldiers protecting him throughout the journey. Lincoln declines. It would make him look weak and fearful.

Finish: Lincoln expresses his thanks to the men, mentioning that he has no fear, for no American would ever willfully murder an American President.

Open Loop: Will Lincoln get to Washington alive?

Mystery: Just how dangerous is it for Lincoln to make this journey? And what is the best way to go about it. The wrong decision could split the Union.

Empathy/Distress: The security team is under stress because the wrong decision could be fatal, for Lincoln and for the country.

Payoff: The danger the team faces can be seen clearly on the maps.

Irony: Lincoln doesn’t talk much, but when he does, he says more than all the others.

Setup: The journey involves stops at major cities. At each stop, Lincoln will make a speech, where he will make the case for democracy and the survival of the Union. Lincoln forecasts what is to come: the states will succeed to form the Confederacy, but then it is only a matter of time before the most rebel states again succeed from the Confederacy. And then what?

INT. HOTEL DINING ROOM – DAY – MYSTERY

Turning Point: Protecting Kate from Hutchinson, Ferrandini has dinner with her. Kate learns the broad details of the assassination plot.

Start: Kate slips into a dining room where Ferrandini sits waiting for her.

Challenging Situation: Kate goes rogue, agrees to a secret meeting with Ferrandini.

Conflict: Kate is venturing into a close relationship with the enemy that could get her hung on Pratt Street. And she’s doing it without Pinkerton’s guidance.

Action: Kate learns the broad details of the assassination plot. The existence of the KGC and the hardship of organizing and recruiting gang members for the plot.

Finish: Ferrandini asks for another dinner. Kate says yes.

Open Loop: Will Kate learn Ferrandini’s secrets?

Mystery: How does Ferrandini plan to kill Lincoln?

Empathy/Distress: Kate is nervous. She’s going rogue, meeting with the archenemy without Pinkerton knowing about it. What if all this blows up in her face?

Payoff: Ferrandini tells Kate the broad details about the assassination plot and his struggles to pull it together.

Irony: So far, so good, for Kate. Hope she doesn’t get burned.

Setup: Kate now has a solid link to the plot.

INT. PINKERTON’S SAFE HOUSE – DAY – IMMINENT THREAT

CONSPIRACY: Kate hurts Pinkerton when she goes deep undercover on Ferrandini after Pinkerton has expressly forbidden it. It pushes him to the limit. How can he protect her if she goes in deep undercover? Pinkerton struggles with his paternal and professional relationship with Kate.

Start: Pinkerton wants answers. What was Kate thinking?

Challenging Situation: How can Kate navigate between two men: Pinkerton and Ferrandini.

Conflict: Pinkerton demands that Kate cut off her relationship with Ferrandini. It’s too dangerous. Let me handle it.

Action: Kate won’t agree to cut off the relationship with Ferrandini. It’s too important and she’s made important headway.

Finish: Kate leaves. Pinkerton simmers.

Open Loop: Will Kate break through to the details of the plot?

Mystery: What is Ferrandini’s game plan?

Empathy/Distress: Kate is putting Pinkerton under stress by playing a dangerous game.

Payoff: Kate knows the assassination will take place in Baltimore and it will center around the transition between train stations, Lincoln’s most vulnerable point on the whole journey. But how exactly?

Irony: One point for the feminine approach; zero for the masculine approach, so far.

Setup: Kate is now positioned to get to the heart of the plot.

INT. HOTEL PRIVATE DINING ROOM – NIGHT – MYSTERY

Act 3 TURNING POINT – HIDDEN AGENDA: Pursuing Ferrandini as the target, Kate learns about the KGC and its efforts to recruit and organize the gangs of the city for the assassination plot.

Kate is in a situation with Ferrandini, her feelings in conflict with her job. She feels herself caring for a man she must betray.

Start: Kate shows up a little nervous. Ferrandini tries to calm her.

Challenging Situation: Kate must walk a thin wire, balancing her goals as a Union spy with her feelings.

Conflict: Kate is in a situation with Ferrandini, her feelings in conflict with her job.

Action: Kate learns about the KGC and its efforts to recruit and organize the gangs of the city for the assassination plot.

Finish: Kate feels herself caring for a man she must betray.

Open Loop: Will Kate succeed in learning the intimate details of the plot?

Mystery: What are the details of the plot?

Empathy/Distress: Kate is beginning to feel stress for danger she is putting herself in.

Payoff: When Kate asks Ferrandini to bring her Lincoln’s heart after he kills Lincoln, it, well, puts him over the top for her.

Irony: Ferrandini’s caring feelings for Kate make him want to kill more.

Setup: Kate now has Ferrandini where she wants him.

Act 4:

INT. HOTEL BARBER SHOP – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

Hutchinson pays Ferrandini a huge sum of money as a payoff for his investment in the arms trade to help the South. Ferrandini is impressed and sponsors Hutchinson to become a Knight in the KGC.

Start: Pinkerton pretends to be excited about an arms manufacturing investment.

Challenging Situation: Pinkerton tries to buy Ferrandini’s trust. It’s working.

Conflict: It’s hard for Pinkerton to separate from a large sum of money.

Action: Pinkerton, as Hutchinson, pays Ferrandini a huge sum of money for his investment in the arms trade to help the South.

Finish: Ferrandini is impressed and sponsors Hutchinson to become a Knight in the KGC.

Open Loop: If Ferrandini and Pinkerton become best friends, how will this end? Badly, right?

Mystery: What kind of a stockbroker is Hutchinson? These are pretty incredible payouts.

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton pays Ferrandini a huge sum of money for his investment in the arms trade to help the South. But Pinkerton hates to part with money.

Payoff: Ferrandini tells Pinkerton he will sponsor him to become a Knight in the KGC.

Irony: Pinkerton and Ferrandini: best friends forever?

Setup: Pinkerton will be a Knight?

INT. LINCOLN’S HOME – DAY – STRANGE BEHAVIOR

In Springfield, Lincoln and Mary, the ultimate political couple, are packing for the journey when Mary has a tantrum because Lincoln won’t commit to her recommendations for cabinet posts.

Start: Lincoln and Mary pack for the long journey.

Challenging Situation: Mary brings up her recommendations for members of the cabinet.

Conflict: Lincoln bristles at being pressured.

Action: Mary has a tantrum as Lincoln isn’t listening to her.

Finish: Lincoln has to tell Mary flat out that she can’t make cabinet recommendations. He’s the president. Mary pouts.

Open Loop: Will Mary be happy as First Lady? Or does she want more?

Mystery: Does Mary want to be President? Is she as much a political creature as Lincoln?

Empathy/Distress: Lincoln is under stress as Mary won’t let up on her advice and recommendations for cabinet appointments.

Payoff: Mary is a handful.

Irony: Despite their frontier reputation, Lincoln and Mary are the ultimate political couple.

Setup: Lincoln makes the first of many hard choices to come.

EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY – CONSPIRACY

Pinkerton is caught snooping around the Blood Tubs slaughterhouse.

ACCUSATION: Accused of being a Union spy, the Blood Tub gang dunks Pinkerton in a tub of pig’s blood.

Before the gang can do worse, Ferrandini rescues Pinkerton.

Start: Pinkerton snoops around a slaughterhouse.

Challenging Situation: In search of physical evidence, Pinkerton is caught snooping around a slaughterhouse.

Conflict: The Blood Tubs debate about what to do with Pinkerton. They can’t figure out what he is up to, so they decide to dunk him.

Action: The Blood Tubs dunk Pinkerton in a tub of pig’s blood. Pinkerton emerges gasping. The Blood Tubs laugh hysterically.

Finish: Before the gang can do worse, Ferrandini rescues Pinkerton.

Open Loop: Will Pinkerton ever find physical evidence of the plot to present to Lincoln’s handlers?

Mystery: Can Pinkerton find physical evidence of the plot at the slaughterhouse?

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton gets dunked in a tub of pig’s blood.

Payoff: When Ferrandini comes to Pinkerton’s rescue, he feels closer to him, confides in him more.

Irony: Will Pinkerton ever catch up to Kate in the race to find out the details of the plot?

Setup: What can a close relationship between Pinkerton and Ferrandini lead to? Who will end up closer to Ferrandini: Kate or Pinkerton? As Ferrandini withdraws from one, he gets closer to the other, and vice versa.

EXT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT – DECEPTION

Act 4 TURNING POINT – DECEPTION: Pinkerton, disguised as Hutchinson, gets initiated into the KGC. It’s a harrowing ceremony, but infiltration of the KGC is successful. Now he needs them to trust him so he can betray them.

Start: Pinkerton performs the hand gestures that get him into the warehouse.

Challenging Situation: Pinkerton has to pretend to be enthusiastic about a white supremacy ceremony.

Conflict: Pinkerton, a supporter of the Underground Railroad, must join in the racist glee.

Action: Ferrandini sponsors Pinkerton in the elaborate ceremony.

Finish: Pinkerton has to excuse himself and throws up.

Open Loop: Will Pinkerton get brainwashed?

Mystery: What exactly happens in a KGC initiation ceremony? Why is it so powerful?

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton is under stress from the deep psychological weapons of the ceremony.

Payoff: Pinkerton gets inside the KGC at last.

Irony: The Knight they think is going to expand the secret society is the one who is bent on destroying it.

Setup: What will Pinkerton do next as a Knight of the Golden Circle?

Act 5:

INT. PINKERTON’S SAFE HOUSE – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

Although Kate and Pinkerton learn the details of the plot, they struggle to find physical evidence that would prove the plot to Lincoln’s handlers.

Start: Pinkerton is sick about having to participate in the drawing to kill the President.

Challenging Situation: Kate and Pinkerton struggle to figure out their next move.

Conflict: Kate and Pinkerton realize they must find physical evidence to present to Lincoln’s handlers if they are to have any chance at stopping this plot from happening. If they fail, they could be hung and the Union split in two.

Action: Kate and Pinkerton agree that he must go to the drawing in hopes of finding some physical evidence that can be delivered to Lincoln’s handlers.

Finish: Kate commits to working on a plan to communicate what they know to Lincoln’s handlers. Physical evidence or not.

Open Loop: Lincoln is getting closer. How can they prove what they know?

Mystery: What are they missing? What and where could physical evidence of the plot be?

Empathy/Distress: Kate and Pinkerton fear coming up short without physical evidence to support their claim. The newspapers will be all over them if they can’t proof it. Lincoln’s handlers will simply ignore them.

Payoff: Now inside the KGC, Pinkerton needs to find out the exact time and place of the planned assassination.

Irony: Kate will pursue Ferrandini as Pinkerton pursues Ferrandini and the KGC.

Setup: Pinkerton will go to the KGC drawing.

EXT. GRAVESITE – DAY – WOUND

In Springfield, Lincoln says goodbye at the gravesite of his young son, Willy. No matter what happens, I will never leave you.

Start: Lincoln walks up to Willy’s gravesite, takes off his hat. Speaks in a low, broken voice.

Challenging Situation: Lincoln must endure his hardest goodbye. He must say goodbye to his dead son, Willy.

Conflict: Lincoln wants to stay close to Willy, his dead son, but Washington calls. This is going to hurt — a lot.

Action: Lincoln tells Willy his secret, deeply felt reasons for answering the call to Washington and why he must go. Democracy is the hope of the whole world. It must not die. No matter the cost.

Finish: Lincoln slowly puts his hat on, struggles to walk away from the gravesite.

Open Loop: Will Lincoln be able to keep his promise to Willy?

Mystery: Why is Lincoln in a cemetery?

Empathy/Distress: Lincoln is heartbroken at the reality of having to leave little Willy’s gravesite, perhaps forever.

Payoff: Lincoln is forced to face the deep values in life.

Irony: In facing Willy’s death, Lincoln finds strength to engage with life.

Setup: Lincoln has a purpose now that no man can break.

INT. DRAWING ROOM – NIGHT – DECEPTION

Lock In: Embedded in a KGC meeting as Mr. Hutchinson, Pinkerton witnesses helplessly the setting up of the drawing to select who will have the privilege of assassinating the President. It’s real. It’s happening.

Start: When Pinkerton enters the room, he is greeted enthusiastically by his new friends, his fellow Knights. As the newest Knight, Pinkerton gets a lot of unwanted attention.

Challenging Situation: Embedded in a KGC meeting as Mr. Hutchinson, Pinkerton witnesses helplessly the setting up of the drawing to select who will have the privilege of assassinating the President.

Conflict: Outwardly, Pinkerton shares in the enthusiasm for what is about to happen. Inwardly, he’s sick.

Action: As a new Knight, Pinkerton is given his number determining his order in the drawing.

Finish: Pinkerton tries to stay out of sight in the back of the room, hiding his true feelings.

Open Loop: Will Pinkerton get through this ordeal?

Mystery: Who will draw the red ballot?

Empathy/Distress: Pinkerton is under stress pretending to be white supremacist.

Payoff: Pinkerton penetrates the KGC at last.

Irony: Pinkerton isn’t who the Knights think he is.

Setup: What can Pinkerton learn now that he is in the belly of the beast?

EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY – WOUND

Lincoln gives an extemporaneous , heartfelt goodbye to his friends at Springfield. As the train pulls away, he remains alone on the rear platform, clutching his chest with his right hand in emotional pain. His left hand holds a small black bag containing the only copy of his inaugural address, a glimmer of hope in the pervasive darkness.

Start: When Lincoln arrives at the train station, he’s surprised to see so many of his old friends and neighbors gathered to stay goodbye to him.

Challenging Situation: A lot of people here and the weather is not cooperating. A light rain starts. No one moves.

Conflict: Lincoln wants to stay with his friends, but he’s being pulled away to Washington.

Action: Lincoln delivers an extemporaneous, heartfelt goodbye to his friends at Springfield.

Finish: As the train pulls away, he remains alone on the rear platform, clutching his chest with his right hand in emotional pain. His left hand holds a small black bag containing the only copy of his inaugural address, a glimmer of hope in the pervasive darkness.

Open Loop: Will Lincoln survive this journey?

Mystery: What is in the small black bag that Lincoln carries with him and won’t let go of?

Empathy/Distress: Lincoln’s heartache of having to leave his friends and Willy’s gravesite.

Payoff: Lincoln hasn’t been sworn into office yet, but because Buchanan is so weak, this moment in effect starts his presidency.

Irony: A man who speaks sparingly now says it all.

Setup: Lincoln makes the case for democracy. It won’t be his last.

INT. DRAWING ROOM – NIGHT – HIDDEN AGENDA

Act 5 TURNING POINT – DECEPTION: Ferrandini confides to Pinkerton that he has planted eight red ballots instead of one in the drawing to choose who will have the privilege of assassinating the President.

It’s Pinkerton’s turn. He walks up, draws a ballot, pauses, looks over at Ferrandini, who smiles at him. Cut.

Start: When Ferrandini sees Pinkerton, he walks up and greets him warmly. My dear friend, thank you for your support.

Challenging Situation: Pinkerton would like nothing more than to disrupt this evil meeting, but he must keep his violent temper under control.

Conflict: Ferrandini confides to Pinkerton that he has planted eight red ballots instead of one in the drawing to choose who will have the privilege of assassinating the President.

Action: It’s Pinkerton’s turn. He walks up to the front of the room, draws a ballot, pauses, looks over at Ferrandini.

Finish: Ferrandini smiles at him.

Open Loop: How will each man who draws a red ballot plan to kill Lincoln?

Mystery: Why eight red ballots instead of one?

Empathy/Distress: It puts Pinkerton under stress to pretend to want to kill Lincoln.

Payoff: Pinkerton has successfully infiltrated the secret society at the heart of the plot.

Irony: The man who wants more than anything to stop this madness must draw a ballot to kill the President. Is it red?

Setup: Now that Kate and Pinkerton know the details of the plot, how can they stop it?

[Jack Young]

Is anyone else having trouble getting a response to where Mod 4 folder is located? I’m working on assignments in Module 4 but have no place to post them. Also, has anyone else gotten a review of their TV Bible done by Dimitri. I requested and paid for a review 2 months ago and haven’t heard a word. I’m getting a little frustrated. – Jack

[George Petersen]

Hi Jack, Yes, I too have not had access to the Module 4 forum. Great to see it here. I’m ready to send stuff to Dimitri. Please keep me informed with how it goes. Thanks, George

[Jack Young]

George, I sent my TV Bible to Dimitri over 2 months ago. I haven’t heard anything. Still waiting. Do you know if there is a marketing segment to this course or if it’s separate? During the audio recordings, Hal talked about the marketing part at the end. Just wondering.

[George Petersen]

Yes, you’re right. I had forgotten about it. I’ll let you know if I see anything. But I don’t think I can message you directly.

[Jack Young]

George, in the latest lesson, Hal tells us to send our pilots to other students for critique. I’m ready to send mine but I am not sure how this works. How do we contact the other students and how long do they have to review it. Lots of questions. Also, Module 5 was supposed to be put up today (marketing) but I didn’t see it. Do you have any info? Thanks – Jack

[Jack Young]

George, would you be open to reviewing a pilot? I have mine completed and need to get it reviewed by some other members. Here’s my email that you can contact me if you’re interested: jackyoung1981@cox.net

[Jack Young]

George, I just received feedback on my pilot and TV Bible from Madeleine and she did an amazing job! In return, I provided feedback on her pilot. Once I address her comments and make changes, I’d like to get another review by someone. Let me know if you’d be available to review it in exchange for reviewing yours. Thanks – Jack

[Eric Humble]

What I learned doing this assignment is: how to build intrigue into each scene and identify it so that looking at the outline gives me an instant focus on the intrigue. This was a great assignment for reinforcing and in many cases creating new levels of intrigue throughout the outline.

OUTLINE WITH INTRIGUE

BEAT SHEET

Teaser:

INT. LAB – DAY: MYSTERY

New information reveal: Jude awakens to the sight of takeout coffee. A masked man is dousing the lab in gasoline to set it ablaze. He has already poisoned everyone in the lab via the other coffees… except Jude. Jude watches as the man destroys a specific set of microscope slides. Then he holds a gun to Jude’s head and offers him the quick way out—drink the coffee. Jude stands his ground. The masked man pistol whips him unconscious again. Lights up the place–the lab burns around Jude.

Open Loop: Will Jude escape or be killed?

Mystery: Who is the man? Why is he masked? What’s on the slide he destroyed?

Empathy/Distress: Jude is already hurt and gets pistol-whipped again.

Irony: They’re all dying just after discovering the cure for cancer

Setup:

-As he fades from consciousness, he fixated on one of the screens—sees the serum cell stopping the cancer sample.

-HE DOES SOMETHING THAT WE’LL PAYOFF WITH HIS ESCAPE LATER IN ACT 5

Act 1:

INT. LAB – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

New information reveal: Jude and his team tensely study the remains of an ancient body. They discover traces of a substance in the DNA that can cure cancer. It’s going to work this time. But Jude is manually extracting the “cure” from the ancient remains – and the process is radioactive, causing the specimen to decay if he uses too much. His higher-up is pressuring him into fudging the data to announce that the procedure works at the shareholders’ meeting in order to fend off a hostile takeover by a much larger company – as he tries to concentrate. He handles it perfectly – but the test is a failure—the sample is too old to withstand the process.

Open Loop: WIll they find the cure? Will Jude fudge the data?

Mystery: What are they doing? Is the person they’re testing alive?

Empathy/Distress: Jude is being pressured at just the moment he has to concentrate

most.

Payoff :…no, turns out to be mummified remains

Irony: He has identified the cure for cancer – but his boss is treating it like an abject

failure because he can’t make money off it right away.

Setup: The only ones who have the cure are ancient remains – and they’d need a living

body who possesses this genetic code to extract the cure.

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY: IMMINENT THREAT/WOUND

Jude wanders the city listening to calming tapes – “everyone is not against you.” The city traffic and people seem to be following him and closing in. Everything triggers a memory of what happened to his brother – an intense bout of paranoia – which overrides the calming tapes. He senses someone following him. He ducks into an alley, waits for the person’s approach, leaps out to confront him… except it’s just an innocent bystander. Embarrassed and rattled, Jude returns to his tapes… when someone else strongarms him into a car.

Mystery: Who is following him? What do they want?

Empathy/Distress:

-Being followed

-Anxiety attack

-Makes a fool of himself when he challenges the wrong person

-Why does he need to listen to these tapes? What trauma caused this?

Irony: -Surrounded by people but without help

Setup: -Memories of his brother’s death flood him.

INT. PRIVATE MUSEUM – DAY: HIDDEN AGENDA

Jude is marched in as a prisoner, told to sit and wait. He protests but no one will answer him. Marks enters, gives him a tour of the relics including two mummies that could be his for the testing—offers him a plum position at Monolithic pharmaceuticals. Jude doesn’t agree with his aggressively for-profit philosophy – this job would be the world in exchange for his soul. But Marks won’t let him leave until he signs the contract. Jude uses his knowledge of the relics and remains here to show Marks how little he knows. Marks makes a spur-of-the-moment decision that causes world markets to tumble just to sweeten the deal. Jude still refuses, despite leading him on to think that would make the deal. Stands up to power and leaves.

Open Loop: -Will Jude work for Marks? Will he sell his soul to do it?

-Will Marks crush him now that he’s refused?

Mystery: -Why is Marks really so desperate to get him on his team?

Empathy/Distress: -He’s marched in like a prisoner, and the armed guards are watching

him.

Irony: – Everything about this is threatening until Marks enters – and acts kinder and

more empathetic than even Jude’s bosses

Setup: -Jude sees Marks’s mask in a case

INT. POSH BAR – NIGHT: DECEPTION

Dres resists getting hit on by a presumptuous, powerful man… eventually entertains him–and impresses him with a business plan to use the opioid model for a new depression drug. The CEO insists she accompany him to a shareholder’s meeting while he considers it. She hedges suddenly, excuses herself to the women’s room, but he follows her. She calls her assistant to get out of it, but he’s unhelpful. Finally, she gives in and goes along with him.

Mystery: -Why doesn’t she want to go to the meeting?

Empathy/Distress: -She’s the target of a powerful man hitting on her. She’s strong

enough to stand up to him.

Irony: She plays the victim but is actually the predator

Setup: She calls Shales

EXT. SHAREHOLDERS’ GALA – NIGHT: CONSPIRACY

Dres is really a con artist and the “assistant” is her partner Shales – whom she’s trying to convince to fold the con. She can’t afford to be this exposed – especially around this crowd. But Shales wants his cut – and has spiked brass knuckles. Shales hits her on the arm with the spiked knuckles. Smokes meth and threatens to kill her like he did their last partner. She relents, enters the building to go through with it.

Open Loop: -Will Shales hurt her?

-Will she get away from his grip?

Mystery: -Why is she hanging around with Shales? What does he have over her?

-What happened to their former partner?

Empathy/Distress: -Shales hits her with spiked knuckles.

Setup: -Shales turns on his partners.

-Shales cuts her and she’s bleeding.

INT. SHAREHOLDERS’ GALA – NIGHT: STRANGE BEHAVIOR

A disheveled man attempts to enter. The security guards strongarm him. He fishes out an invite… and ID to match. They admit him. He is nervous to go through a metal detector. Gets out of line, tries to bypass them – but there are security guards cordoning off every other way into the ballroom. Door security is still eyeing him and radioing to the others about him. He gets back in line. Goes through, is cleared without incident.

Open Loop: -He sends a text stating he’s about to go through with it. To whom? Who

put him up to this?

Mystery: – Who is this man?

-Why does he look this way?

-Why is he nervous to pass through the metal detector?

Empathy/Distress: -Scared to pass through the metal detector – will he get caught?

Irony: -Jude is keynote speaker, lecture about cures… but a gunman is about kill them

all.

INT. SHAREHOLDERS’ GALA – NIGHT: MYSTERY

Jude’s boss hands him a prepared statement, pressuring him to lie… and he’s up to speak. Threatens him – do this or he’s fired, along with his perks and family health insurance. He has a dilemma – tell the truth and be washed up or lie and compromise his ethics. He stands to speak, surveys the audience. Tears up the prepared statement, and starts his own speech railing against the current state of healthcare for profit… when Catherine has a dissociative episode. Her delusion is a duel from seventeenth century England.

Open Loop: -Catherine’s dissociative episode. Will she be ok? What’s wrong with her?

Mystery:-Why is the shooter there?

Empathy/Distress: -He has a dilemma.

-Chooses to be exiled by the bosses.

Irony: -As he’s railing about how people can’t afford even basic healthcare without their

employers having a hold on them, his own wife has a medical emergency.

Setup: Jude bumps into Dres as he’s deliberating about what to do. Sees her cuts from the knuckles are bleeding. Dabs it with a swab, bandages it for her.

INT. SHAREHOLDERS’ GALA – NIGHT: SUSPICION

Dres sells the CEO on the con… all the while trying to get her phone close to him under the table. But the CEO is onto her. She tries to get away when he grabs her by the arm. He holds her and already has security closing in. During the struggle, she slips her phone into his pocket, starting a scan/transfer. He’s having her arrested – when he’s shot.

Mystery: -What’s she doing with the phone? Keeps trying to slip it in his pocket.

Empathy/Distress: – CEO calls her out on being a con woman. Grabs her. Has security

closing in.

INT. SHAREHOLDERS’ GALA – NIGHT: IMMINENT THREAT

The disheveled man takes out a 3-D printed automatic rifle, approaches the stage. He hesitates in whatever purpose he has here, because Catherine is distracting him and everyone else. Someone sees the gun and calls out. The disheveled man massacres everyone. Dres ducks and makes for the exit, moving through a sea of people dying or wounded and begging her help. He has Jude point-blank, but recognizes him. Catherine springs up, jams the gun. The disheveled man is thrown off-guard by Catherine’s attack. The cops shoot him. Dres fixates on Jude as she slinks away, fascinated that he wasn’t killed. Dres makes it to an exit where Shales is waiting.

Open Loop: -The shooter warns Jude –

Mystery: -He seems to be searching for someone throughout his rampage. Who?

-The shooter seems to recognize Jude, and Jude the shooter. How do they know

each other?

-The shooter’s warning: even if they reel you in, don’t go through the door of

Thoth.

Empathy/Distress: -Jude witnesses people dying all around him. As does Dres.

Irony: -Jude convinces him to stand down… just as Catherine jams his gun and gets ‘

him shot.

Setup: -Catherine is surprisingly adept at disarming people.

-The reference to Thoth.

Act 2:

INT. ER – NIGHT: SECRET

Catherine is physically fine, but Jude is more concerned about the episode she was having. Deeds interrupts Jude’s examination of her. Deeds praises her heroism while giving him digs for freezing. Jude wheels her into neurology, carries on testing her brain even as Deeds pursues with more questions about why the shooter stopped upon seeing him. Jude tells Detective Deeds the shooter was a high-level Pharma engineer who just signed a lucrative contract with Monolithic. Jude reads the scan – and realizes she has advanced brain cancer.

Open Loop: -Catherine has advanced, inoperable brain cancer.

Mystery: -Why would the shooter have done this? No motivation.

Empathy/Distress: -Deeds is mocking him for being a coward.

Setup: -Catherine’s delusion was a real historical event. She passes it off as a book,

but it’s something she lived.

INT. COMPUTER REPAIR SHOP – DAY: CONSPIRACY

Dres is now worth half a million as she and Shales use a random computer in the repair area to transfer the money from the dead CEO before the accounts are frozen. She goes online, but Shales is watching her – doesn’t want to get caught because she does something stupid. And he won’t let her throw her money away. She distracts him by claiming one of the men in line is a cop she noticed earlier – makes him check if any more are surrounding the building. While he’s looking away, she donates her entire cut to go-fund-mes for people who can’t afford their meds.

Open Loop: -Shales claims he won’t let her out of his sight. It’s a threat.

-Dres looks up Jude, but has to close the site before Shales sees what she’s up

to.

Mystery: – Why is she giving all the money away?

Empathy/Distress: -She is clearly distressed by the massacre.

Irony: -Shales is overjoyed that the massacre gave them cover enough to escape in the

clear, and no one’s looking at the money yet. But Dres is traumatized.

Setup: -He got them plane tickets… but she want to retrieve a go-bag he doesn’t know

about.

INT. LAB – DAY: MYSTERY

He pushes his research to find the cure… but the process is still a failure… no specimen that hold can sustain the extraction. There’s one more specimen left and the museum wants it back. His lab assistant wants him to stop, won’t let him test it – if he costs the program any money, they’ll pull the plug. Lab assistant starts shutting down the equipment. Jude grabs him, tears his coat. Suddenly, the system reacts – it’s a success. Blood rich with the element in the DNA. It’s from the fragment of the assistant’s coat. It’s from the woman who was with the CEO of the lab equipment corporation.

Open Loop: -Will he ever find the cure?

-Will he get the cure from Dres?

-He has the assistant divide the blood into two samples. One for here, one for his home. Will it be safe at either location?

Mystery: -How does Dres have this cure in her blood?

Empathy/Distress: -Tests the mummy, destroys it. He’s in trouble. And he’s lost the last chance to cure Catherine.

Payoff: The blood from the bandage he put on Dres gives him the solution.

Irony: Just when he fails, he succeeds.

Setup: -Blood sample into the freezer we saw get stolen/destroyed at the beginning.

INT. AIRPORT – DAY: WOUND

Dres is in line to board her plane for the getaway when she overhears an airport ticket agent being talked into quitting her job after being denied a promotion. An irate person in line demands they attend to her. Dres picks the irate person’s pocket, causing her to have to stand aside as she fishes around for her ID. Dres gets in the ticket agent’s face and tells her to cut that person out of her life because their advice sucks. She should facie the boss who turned her down and demand the promotion. If he doesn’t give it to her, bring a plane down. She cancels her ticket, researches Jude.

Open Loop: What will happen when Shales discovers she didn’t leave?

Mystery: Why is she so interested in Jude?

Empathy/Distress: We empathize with her empowered stance.

Irony: She’s an immortal talking about how life is short.

INT. MARKS’S PENTHOUSE – DAY: WOUND

Marks checks in on the home health visit for his daughter. His daughter is having a great day and they plan for her college, what she’ll study, where she’ll live. Suddenly, she loses control of her bowels in the midst of their walk. She drops the pretext and wants to talk about final steps. Suddenly, an implant goes off, causing a ringing in his ears. He ignores it, refuses to talk of anything but a cure. He snaps at the staff to clean it up, berates the home health nurse and doctor, threatens to crush them. But he’s told the diagnosis – his daughter is dying – won’t be long now. He turns to the tv to see the markets in freefall because of his decision earlier – all this power and he can’t save her. The ringing in his ears is too much. He leaves her, his hand shaking… with fear.

Open Loop: Will his daughter die? Will he destroy the lives of her caregivers if she

does?

Mystery: What is the ringing in his ears?

Empathy/Distress: We empathize with his caring and grieving for his daughter.

Irony: All the power in the world and he can’t save the most important person in his life.

Setup: He needs to find a cure, stat.

EXT. ROOFTOP GARDEN – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

Marks puts on a mask on the elevator up. When the doors open, everyone there is masked… and waiting in judgment for him. The Leader lists his failures in humiliating detail, sentences him to The Penance Room. Marks pitches the room… they need Jude and he couldn’t kill the target without hitting him. He’s given a second chance.

Open Loop: What is the Penance Room? What happens in there? Will Marks have

Dres killed? In frustration, he goes to remove his mask… when the Leader

cautions that this is an unbroken tradition and the consequences will be severe.

Mystery: Who are these people? What are they up to? Why are they masked?

Empathy/Distress: Marks is about to be tortured to death… after being publicly

humiliated.

Payoff: The mask is for this order.

Irony: Powerful bully in life, bullied nobody here.

Setup: -The Leader emerges from the doorway to his inner chambers.

-Marks says the name of the assassin he already has on the case.

INT. CEO’S OFFICE – DAY

Jude finds the CEO’s wife, distraught, trying to help manage the chaos – because $1 million has gone missing since he died. He questions her about the woman her husband was with, but she doesn’t know.

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

EXT. SECLUDED COURTYARD – DAY: SECRET

Dres approaches an unmarked grave, retrieves a keycard buried there… when Jude shows up. Approaches her as a friend. She regales him with a history of this place he didn’t know—a tranquil moment… then suddenly pulls a knife and interrogates him. Demands to know why they didn’t kill him. Then, someone shoots at them! He has no idea what she’s talking about. He looks around for an escape… and spots a sniper’s rifle-site glinting in the sun. They’re shot at.

Open Loop: Will Jude and Dres unite? Will Dres give him the cure in her blood?

Mystery: Who is buried here? What is the keycard for?

Empathy/Distress: She holds Jude at knifepoint even though he didn’t threaten her.

Setup: Jude recognizes one of the walls as the rear of a chemical factory.

EXT. SNIPER’S ROOST – DAY: WOUND

Jude cowers from the gunfire. He spots the sniper, realizes Dres was the target of the earlier shooting. He realizes has to attack the sniper—he’s in position. Jude hits him only to discover he’s a hemophiliac. Tries to save him with a coagulent from the sniper’s bag, but sees the guy is still planning to kill Dres. He dumps the pills, fights him, making more bleeds. The sniper won’t tell him why they want to stifle the cure for cancer, so Jude takes a DNA sample only to realize he’s dead.

Open Loop: Will Jude get caught? How will killing someone change Jude?

Mystery: Why are they trying to stifle the cure?

Empathy/Distress:b Lets the guy bleed out. Tough to watch and experience.

Irony: Doctor killing someone.

Act 3:

EXT. COURTYARD – DAY: CONSPIRACY

Dres returns to her questioning – either he’s one of them or they need him. He doesn’t know who “they” are. She’s done with him.

Jude is in shock that he killed a man. Des holds the knife to his neck again. He just stares at the body, doesn’t care if he dies – he was meant to heal people not kill them. Dres questions him. Jude questions her back. She snaps him to attention – they’ve got to clean this up. There will be others, and police. He’s an all-in accomplice – follows orders to destroy the body.

Open Loop: Will Jude get caught? Will Dres help him or betray him to the cops? Will

more assassins come after them? What will the cabal do now that he’s killed one

of their own? How can they cover this up?

Mystery: Who is this assassin?

Empathy/Distress: Jude is in shock, feels remorse.

EXT. SNIPER’S ROOST – DAY: HIDDEN AGENDA

Dres is In control of everything – total cover up. They have to move the body without leaving more evidence – and it won’t stop bleeding. She has him put gravel over the blood has been draining in, roll out a plastic tarp the assassin had on his person for clean up and roll the body onto it. He notices a birthmark in the shape of a symbol. Then carry it across the courtyard. Jude is rattled and bad at this… she’s annoyed and time is of the essence. She questions him about how secret this meeting was – and he realizes everyone knows where he was going, who he is. He’s blown.

Open Loop: Will Jude be caught?

Mystery: -How many people has Dres killed and disposed of?

-What’s the birthmark?

Empathy/Distress: They have to hurry and the body won’t stop bleeding.

Payoff: The keycard goes to the chemical plant, opens a back door.

Irony: He knows everything about the human body but can’t do anything to stop the

blood.

INT. CHEMICAL COMPANY – DAY: CONSPIRACY

Dres reveals one wall is the back of a place filled with vats – she lured them to a place where she could dispose of the body. Jude is aghast at the next part of this process – but she calms and focuses him, assuring him she’ll get them both in the clear. They need to get the body to the vat around the manager on duty. The manager has heard them. He knocks over another barrel on another row to call the manager’s attention to it. Then rushes back to help Dres dump the body…except she’s gone. He has to do it himself… but has the wherewithal to stop and take a DNA sample first. Except in his delay, the manager catches him. He tells him he’s here with Dres, as a feeble hail mary… but it works. The manager leaves him be. He dumps the body, runs out to the street and sees suspicious faces everywhere. Overwhelmed by paranoia.

Open Loop: Where did Dres go? Will he be able to find her again? Will she betray

him?

Empathy/Distress: He’s in the hot seat and the manager is getting closer.

Setup: Takes DNA sample.

INT. JUDE’S APARTMENT – DAY: SECRET

Jude is paranoid and panicked, afraid he’ll be caught. He bursts in the door, out of breath, wires into news reports. Special report comes on TV – but it’s just a report on the mass shooting at the shareholders convention. The shooter acted alone. Sees blood on his sleeve, rushes to the bathroom to scrub. Realizes he smells of chemicals, strips, gets in the shower. Catherine gets in with him. He relaxes, realizes no one is after him.

Open Loop: -Will he get caught?

-Will Catherine find out what he did?

-Will he tell Deeds what happened? Will that get him in deeper trouble?

Mystery: Why is Deeds closing the investigation when clearly there’s more going

on?

Empathy/Distress: He committed murder and is afraid of getting caught.

INT. SHOWER – NIGHT

They make love… when she has another episode. He brings her out of it but she’s inconsolable, grabs his cell and calls an oncologist friend. But he wants to keep the diagnosis from her and just cure her instead. He hangs up the call to the doctor… when he hears a click and sees a glitch. Someone is actually tracking him. He breaks the sim card.

Open Loop: -Will he tell her about her cancer?

-Will she find out from someone else?

Empathy/Distress: -Catherine can’t trust her mind, is panicked about it.

-We know he has the cure in his grasp but has lost it.

Setup: Glitch on his phone.

INT. LAB – NIGHT: MYSTERY

Jude sneaks into the lab after hours, but feels watched from the security cameras. analyzes the DNA. The night guard questions him on why he’s there. He has to lie that he’s scanning a sample that got delivered to the wrong lab. The guard fixes him in a penetrating stare. The scan is taking way too long – 300,000 people in the database and it’s going one at a time. The computer is recording his activity. He looks up the birthmark… but can’t look away from the camera light and the indicator that the keystrokes are being recorded. It’s against protocol to go on the Dark Net, but he overrides it. Full-on paranoia – the Dark Net screen is filled with conspiracy theories about the symbol. A rabbit hole he must go down.

Open Loop: Will the DNA turn up anything?

-Will he get caught for violating the computer policy? For even being here now?

-Is he having some kind of breakdown with his conspiracy obsession?

Mystery: -What’s the significance of the birthmark?

-How does he know about the Dark Net? What has he gotten into in the past?

EXT. ROOFTOP GARDEN – NIGHT: SECRET

Marks rides the elevator up, masked, breathing heavily beneath, palms sweating. Bows in the elevator, prostrates himself as the doors open, falling on the mercy of the cabal… But when the doors open, it’s a private, friendly meeting with just the Leader. While outwardly friendly, the Leader is threatening him – impressing on him that he will be tortured and killed if he doesn’t kill Jude as well. The Leader takes him into his private chambers and Marks sees the door to the archives, but is forbidden to enter or even inquire about it. The Leader relaxes the restriction and removes his mask. Marks, sensing a test, opts to keep his on. Marks goes to the archives door–sees an elaborate symbol-laden device that serves as the combination lock. About to try the handle when the Leader tells him it’s laced with poison… maybe. The Leader slips, making a comparison to the cabal as a casino, always winning as long as people show up to play… and with disease they always will. He didn’t specify just “cancer.” There may be other cures.

Open Loop: -Are there more cures out there?

-What’s in the archives room, really?

-Will Marks be tortured to death for his multiple failures?

Mystery: -What is this cabal’s real purpose? Why are they suppressing diseases? How

did Marks get involved in the first place?

Payoff: -The Leader relaxes the restriction and takes off his mask, urges Marks to do so

– but Marks won’t, in case it’s a test.

Irony: -An intimate, private meeting between friends – that is more threatening than the

last meeting.

Setup: -The elaborate lock on the archives door.

INT. CONSPIRACY THEORY RADIO STATION/ROOFTOP – NIGHT: CONSPIRACY

Wisnewski, a brash conspiracy theorist, finishes recording his podcast with an

outrageous theory about price controlled pharmaceuticals. Signs off with trust no one. Goes to the roof to smoke… when Jude emerges from the shadows to talk to him. Wisnewski is armed, holds a gun on him. Jude diagnoses him with lung cancer, promises him a cure instead. Jude needs info about the birthmark from Wisnewski based on a theory he’s read on the Dark Net, but Wisnewski doesn’t trust him because he left all this behind – thinks he’s part of the establishment now and wants something in return as bona fides – data from his lab. Jude realizes this was a mistake, withdraws. Then, he gets an alert – the DNA comes up with a match – another Pharma employee, who recently went to work for Monolithic.

Open Loop: -Why does he feel Jude betrayed him?

-Will Wisnewski answer him eventually.

Mystery: -How does Jude know this clown?

-Why does he want data from Jude’s lab?

-The reason Jude quit was that one of their followers shot up a clinic believing it

was part of an evil conspiracy… he makes a reference to this.

Empathy/Distress: Held at gunpoint… and Wisnewski holds a grudge.

Setup: Mentions their old conspiracy theory group, The Truth Warriors.

Payoff: DNA results come back in.

Act 4:

INT. EXECUTIVE GYM – DAY: MYSTERY

Using real-world resources to demystify this conspiracy–Jude appeals to a powerful Big Pharma CEO with ties to the Justice Department to find out about the guy/sniper who recently left, but the CEO will only talk to him if he boxes with him in the executive gym. Jude goes along with it, but the CEO keeps deflecting by making fun of Jude’s “softness” in a fight. But the CEO is stonewalling him, deflecting. When Jude presses him, the CEO warns him not to turn over this rock. CEO excuses himself to make a call, then will tell him everything off-the-record. The CEO has collapsed of a heart attack in the men’s room. As Jude does CPR in vain, he sees the birthmark on the CEO’s chest.

Open Loop: Was this murder?

Mystery: Who killed him? How?

Empathy/Distress: Jude is being embarrassed in the boxing match.

Setup: -Jude is “soft” in a fight.

-CEO says that he and the employee go “way back”… which Jude questions

because this was a young guy. The CEO deflects.

-Jude gets mad and gets in a good punch that stops the CEO in his tracks. He

can fight when he wants to. He implores him – he’s trying to use more grounded techniques to get to the bottom of this rather than the ugly alternative of conspiracy-minded dirty tactics he’s learned.

INT. ACTIVE SHOOTER’S HOUSE – DAY: MYSTERY

Funeral—solemn and respectful… it’s for the shooter from the shareholder’s convention. Jude approaches the shooter’s partner, who doesn’t want to talk, thinks he’s a reporter. Family members intervene to remove him. He tells them he’s a colleague – but gets caught in a lie. Gets up to the body and checks it for the birthmark/symbol… And discovers it. The family closes in. He evades them by ducking into a catacomb—because he knows that’s how the old remains were kept. Then comes up and surprises the partner again. The partner tells him the shooter started acting strange after the promotion and eventually had a full-on freak-out when his phone started glitching. He went on and on about someone tracking their movements, listening to them. Jude presses him for more, but the partner loses his cool. Jude gets ejected in the midst of a shouting match.

Open Loop: Did the partner know? Does he know more than he’s telling?

Mystery: What is the partner afraid of? Who gave the shooter his orders that night?

Empathy/Distress: The family is trying to get him out of there.

Payoff: The shooter said something to him that makes sense now: the department he

worked for at Monolithic. Each of the departments is named after an Eyptian god

– and R&D is named after the god of wisdom: Thoth.

INT. JUDE’S HOUSE – NIGHT: CONSPIRACY

The picture that tormented his brother, which he hasn’t seen in years, is out on his desk. Suddenly, he’s taken to the ground and Marks and his associates (masked) announce he’s already seen his wife for the last time. They’re going to kill him regardless, but they’ll kill Catherine if he doesn’t hand over the sample. He lies about the sample at his house being the only one. He grabs a pair of scissors from the desk and palms it. Tries to work up the courage to use it when Marks calmly calls him out on having it. If he wants to be a soldier, he needs training. Marks spares him, against his orders. And strongly urges him to rethink the offer from Monolithic.

Open Loop: -Marks fights him off with a surprising ability for martial arts – how does he

know how to do this?

Mystery: -What happened to his brother? (Alternate: the member of his conspiracy

group who shot up a restaurant)

Empathy/Distress: Beaten up, gun to his head

Irony: His choice – be killed or get a better job that will give him everything he’s ever

wanted… which he’s been warned not to take

Setup: If he wants to be a soldier, he needs training.

Act 5:

INT. JUDE’S CAR – DAY: IMMINENT THREAT

He races to his lab to synthesize the cure with the blood sample he didn’t tell them he had… but the equipment is all down.

Jude jets off to get to the lab to make the cure with the blood sample he didn’t tell them he had, but his assistant is all in a tizzy – can’t get started because the servers are down. Jude races there, but an overturned car has caused a traffic jam. Jude, as an MD, is obligated to treat the injured… except he sees the driver of the crashed vehicle has the birth mark – it was a suicide mission designed to delay him from the lab. Jude hurriedly ties a tourniquet to the leg of the surviving driver. Takes the man’s cell phone because he left his own in his car, and calls the lab to warn them. Jude gets there, warns them – only to be pistol-whipped unconscious by the IT guy.

Mystery: -Is this just a coincidence?

Empathy/Distress: Last chance to make the cure is in jeopardy.

INT. LAB – DAY: SECRET IDENTITY

(Intercut with previous scene) Bad first day on the job. IT tech guy arrives late, got lost on the way because his GPS wasn’t working… then admits it’s because he couldn’t figure out how to work the GPS. The servers are down for the whole lab and everyone’s agitated and angry – they’re on a time crunch here, boss’s orders. He checks out the servers and goes pale – he’s never worked on servers like this. This is his first job, fresh out of college and he’s only read about these servers once sophomore year. He rushes back to his trunk and takes out a dog-eared textbook. The lab assistant catches him. He apologizes and has to call in for his boss to come… but sets down the cardboard carrier of poisoned coffees we saw at the beginning and offers them in consolation. By the end – Everyone is dead. As the lab assistant gags blood and dies, the IT guy fixes on a mask, takes out a gun. He’s a killer in waiting.

Open Loop: Will this guy kill Jude when he sets the place on fire?

Mystery: What happened to the servers?

Empathy/Distress: -We sense the danger they’re in.

– We empathize with the IT guy on a relentlessly bad day

Payoff: The coffees we saw at the beginning.

Irony: Acting like he doesn’t know how any of this works when he’s actually an expert staging the crime scene.

Setup: Gas can in the trunk along with his IT textbooks.

INT. LAB – DAY: MYSTERY

The teaser replayed.

Payoff: He escapes by —- WHATEVER THE SETUP WAS.

INT. POSH BAR – DAY: DECEPTION

Dres gets word of a new, easy mark—getting drunk at a posh bar. It’s actually Jude luring her into a trap—give him her DNA or he’ll sick the police on her for her other con… which will make her a sitting duck for them. But since he’s forcing her to do the thing she never would, she forces him back: infiltrate them. They didn’t kill him—twice—which means they need him. He drunkenly goes into the mens room so she’ll follow him… then surprises her from behind the door. She pulls her knife but he doesn’t flinch. Instead calmly bolts the door to isolate them. She promises Jude – if he can get her inside, to the people making these decisions – she’ll give him as much of her DNA as he needs to make the cure.

But Shales has overheard, wants in on the con, and insists Dres kill Jude once it’s over – or he will.

Open Loop: -Will Shales kill him when it’s over?

-Is Dres conning him?

-Why does she need him to infiltrate the organization?

-Why do they want him?

INT. MONOLITHIC – DAY: HIDDEN AGENDA

Jude is hat-in-hand, begging for the job he turned down. Marks listens condescendingly… and Jude doesn’t see that he has a gun under the desk. Marks is offended by Jude’s turndown last time they met. Puts him to the test – offers one of the mummies from his private museum to be tested on. Jude performs his process on the mummy in Marks’s museum—extracts a cure for cancer… As he does so, Marks suspects he has an ulterior motive for joining the crew… the lab fire being a tip of the iceberg. Jude calls Marks out on needing the process for more than he’s saying, since it still doesn’t work and he knows this. He’s got it! But once again, the radiation destroys the sample before the cure can be made stable. Jude starts to explain that he’s in a bind – but Marks reveals he’s already issued a statement and his lawyers have already talked to the investigating officer – Detective Deeds – to say that Jude wasn’t at the lab because he started work here last week. He’s already covered, now that he’s sold his soul.

Open Loop: Is Jude going to get in or get found out and killed?

-Does Marks know what he’s up to?

-Does Jude know it was Marks at his house?

Mystery: Why does Marks want his process?

Payoff: Marks takes him into the Thoth department.