Lesson 12

[Deb Johnson]

Deb’s Level 3 Action Emotions

What I learned: It is so interesting that Danger, Excitement, and Adrenaline are three different elements that make up a high-level action scene. While this isn’t as spectacular as John Wick, I think I accomplished putting the three elements into my scene. I added another layer of tension by setting this in a location where they must fight quietly.

The Action Scene is between Titan and Jimmy (doppelgangers). Titan wants to take over for Jimmy on the movie set. He goes to the hospital to talk to him.

Set up: Third-world-country hospital.

One room with a curtain down the center (a men’s side and a women’s side). There are only two beds that are occupied, Jimmy is in one. The rest of the men sleep on cots on the floor.

On the women’s side, there is a mother with her sick son. There is also a frighteningly mean battle-axe nurse, Berta, who monitors the floor. No one is allowed on the floor – Jimmy is to be kept calm and quiet and allowed to rest… doctors orders. Everyone complies.

It’s night. Titan sneaks in through the window and stands over Jimmy’s bed and looks at Jimmy who sleeps.

(DANGER)

Jimmy opens his eyes and looks at Titan.

Jimmy: God, is that you? I always knew you looked just like me.

Titan: come with me

Jimmy rouses and sits up in bed. He whispers.

Jimmy: who the hell are you? What are you doing here?

Titan: You need my help. I need yours. Come with me, I’ll explain.

Jimmy: get the hell out of here – or I’ll call Berta.

Titan shows him his holstered gun.

Titan: you’re not going to make a sound and you’re coming with me.

(EXCITEMENT)

Jimmy grabs the bedpan and tries to bash Titan’s head. Titan catches it and sets it down quietly.

Jimmy jumps out of bed and tries to sprint away, but Titan grabs him by the collar and puts a “shh” finger to his lips.

A sick man, who lays on the floor, watches them fight.

(ADRENALINE)

Jimmy fights with his fists. Titan blocks his punches.

Mother (O.S.): What’s going on over there? You wake up my baby and I’ll kill you.

Berta hears the commotion and leaves her nurse station.

Jimmy tries to grab Titan’s gun but is cast off onto the bed. Jimmy throws whatever he can find at Titan (a cup, a medicine tray, a pen, and a lamp) who catches each item and quietly sets it down.

Berta: (O.S.) What is it, momma? Baby wake up?

Mother:(O.S.) No, but there’s a lunatic making noise over there.

Berta steps towards the men’s side of the room.

The last thing Jimmy grabs is his pillow and throws it at Titan who catches it. Titan grabs Jimmy from behind and with the pillow, covers his face. He hoists Jimmy through the window – and uses his own body to make a soft landing.

It’s quiet.

The man, lying on the floor, sees that Jimmy’s bed is empty, gets in, and lies down.

Berta parts the curtains – everything is quiet.

[CJ Lyons]

CJ’s Level 3 Action Emotions

What I learned from this assignment was… the power of relief in increasing the impact of the other emotions—talk about a rollercoaster ride!

1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use danger, excitement, and adrenaline: MIDPOINT scene

2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.

SETUP: After losing the Homeland agent to the Bratva when the Bratva threatens to kill the 911 operators they hold hostage, Lucy and her new New Orleans friend, Andre, face a gun battle that drives them into the 911 Center’s parking garage. Lucy drives as Andre shoots, running the gauntlet of Bratva shooters as they race up the corkscrew drive to the roof. DANGER

Lucy and Andre emerge unscathed but with no way out other than a leap across the alley that separates the garage roof from the 911 center. They push off the parapet and leap into the night… EXCITEMENT

… And land safely RELIEF

They enter the 911 building, climbing down the stairs, checking for traps. ADRENALINE

They leave the stairwell only to find the Bratva have gone. RELIEF

They approach the glass walled front of the 911 center, the trapped staff screaming for help, and the entrance blocked by two bombs, one each side of the door, each compromised of two cylinders with their own detonators and mercury switches. DANGER

The 911 administrator, White, emerges from his office beyond the 911 center, where he’s been hiding from the Bratva. ADRENALINE—FREEZE

Andre tells Lucy to take White and get out, leave the bombs to him, “This is what I do.” EXCITEMENT

Lucy knows he can’t do it in time—not with bombs rigged on both sides of the door so even if he defuses one, he still needs a way inside to work on other. DANGER

As Andre works on the bombs, Lucy grabs a fire axe, hauls herself up thru White’s office ceiling, crawls into ceiling over 911 center and ends up on other side of glass from Andre (can’t break glass b/c the vibrations could denotate bombs). ADRENALINE—FIGHT

White reluctantly follows her, no idea what he’s doing, but these are his people and he’s not leaving them. Andre now working furiously, cursing Lucy for being reckless, and realizes the two bombs are connected—if he defuses one, it will trigger the other… it’s hopeless, he pounds on the window and tells Lucy to run. ADRENALINE—FLIGHT

EXCITEMENT—Lucy finishes freeing 911 hostages from their zipties, there are several who’ve been killed, mainly sheriff deputies, along with a few wounded that White and the others help. She tells Andre to run but instead he follows her route inside, his weight crashing through the ceiling.

While Andre’s coming in, Lucy uses the axe to chop through the drywall at the rear of the call center into White’s office, far enough from the bombs so the vibrations (hopefully) won’t set them off, sending the hostages out that way. RELIEF

From the pile of dead bodies, a deputy tugs at Lucy’s ankle… EXCITEMENT The man is obviously close to death and Lucy tries to help, Andre argues he’s seen these injuries before, there’s no hope and no time, but Lucy doesn’t give up until the man gasps and dies.

The bombs begin to make a strange whirling noise—the two explosive chemicals blending together: they have seconds to escape! DANGER

ADRENALINE Lucy and Andre scramble down the fire steps, the rear exit in sight as the bombs blow…

[Ron Berti]

Ron’s Level 3 Action Emotions

What I learned doing this lesson was fascinating. I focused on this assignment on intercutting other stage emotions from the prior two lessons, just to mix it up. These are the most intense scenes, of course, the reason people came to the theater. I can see how the roller coaster analogy works: the action must ebb and swell, it should be a series of threats whose intensity varies from time to time. I am thinking of the quiet spaces in other WWII movies like Saving Private Ryan or Fury (one of my favorite WWII movies).

One thing I didn’t try in this first draft was the other intercutting, that between interior and exterior views of the battles in John Wick. I can see where that would add some interest, seeing both sides of a fight. On a second draft, I will probably write this with interspersed views of the Japanese sailors on the barges, watching these wooden-and-thus-vulnerable vessels attacking them with all they’ve got, using speed as a weapon. Maybe add some rain squalls……………….

Here’s today’s lesson.

SETUP: for several weeks now, the Tokyo Express destroyers have cut way back on activity. Tonight we’re out on the water again on the 129, with Cuccinelli at the helm. It’s pretty quiet at 0212, pitch black, quiet. The 129 is idling half a mile off the coast of an island.

SUSPENSE: then, the radar operator calls out something new. Not a fast mover coming down the slot, but 3 (or 4?) smaller blips, coming slowly, hugging the island shorlines, 3 or 4 miles away. What are these things? Are they ours or theirs?

EXCITEMENT/SUSPENSE: skipper orders boat out in the bay, quietly, so we have these things pinned up against the islands. Still no idea what they are.

SURPRISE: skipper confirms through binoculars – there they are, emerging from the gloom. 4 low-slung barges, piddling along at ~10 knots. Clearly low draft vehicles, torpedoes will be useless, which is actually kind of a relief. Maybe this is a fight we can win.

SUSPENSE/FEAR: it’s 4:1, but we’re fast and they’re slow. Can we attack and be reasonably confident we’ll survive?

ADRENALINE/FEAR/DANGER: skipper powers up, boat is sweeping past all 4 barges at ~40 knots, tough for the barges to keep aim, while our guns rake fire relentlessly at the slow-moving objects with all we’ve got – two twin 50 cals, the Oerlikon and the new 37mm gun. At the end of the first sweep, can’t tell if we’ve done much damage. So skipper turns on a dime and takes us back for another sweep, this time from the rear. This time the gunners tear apart the rear barge, which ends up still in the water and with flames starting in the open deck. Three more to go!

SURPRISE: barges are armored, they take a beating (this is new news). But we’re giving them hell. And they shoot back with their own 50 cal machine guns – we’re wood, remember? Skipper decides this is a golden opportunity but we’re not going to have enough ammo. Solution? Invite more PTs. Orders radioman to send 2 letter Morse code to bring more PTs (defying orders). Will they show up in time to take out these new threats or are we going to have to let them go because we’re out of ammo?

SUSPENSE/ADRENALINE: We continue raking the barges, our speed advantage is paying off, although we’re taking some hits ourselves. Makes us wish we weren’t carrying all the weight of the torpedoes.

UNEXPECTED SUPPORT: eventually we can see and hear 2 PTs coming to us from ~10 miles away. They’re clearly moving fast, and they can clearly see the tracers we’re sharing with the Japanese. They’re coming! We continue raking the barges, now there are two that appear to be listing. We’re winning but slowly.

ANXIETY: “Skipper, we’re running low on ammo”. But we keep pouring everything we’ve got into the barges.

UNEXPECTED SUPPORT: they’re here! And with plenty of ammo, they continue to batter the barges. One of the two that were listing sinks altogether, the second one seems to be right behind it. The fourth one is dead in the water, no action, crew probably dead. Where’d that first one go?

ANXIETY: somehow, in the fight, the first barge has gotten away. We can’t see it in the dark. Ah, but the 129 has radar! All lay quiet for a few minutes. Skipper sends a crew to see what’s worth salvaging on the barge that hasn’t sunk. Three crew get on the barge, looking for anything useful (food, ammo).

SURPRISE: One Japanese on the barge is still alive. He shoots one crewman but is immediately shot dead himself by another crewman. Crew finds some hand grenades but little food, ammo is useless, wrong caliber. But there’s sake!

ANXIETY: crew returns to 129, awaits next steps.

EXCITEMENT: The 129’s radar shows movement about a mile away, emerging out from behind an island. Skipper calls in to the 152 with a heading and a distance and the 152 leaps out of the water, followed by the 155, and they go chase their prey.

SUSPENSE: we watch, low on ammo, as our mates chase off after the last barge moving. From a distance we see a furball for about 90 seconds and then it all goes quiet. Moments later, we hear our friends returning to us. Within a few minutes, we’re all together in the firelight of the last barge.

RELIEF: All three boats, 129, 152 and 155 use their remaining ammo to sink the barge. All four barges sunk, Captain! After a sake toast, time to get back to base.

[karl gromelski]

Level 3 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

DANGER

Hero and Girl enter office bldg

They break into ATF office

EXCITEMENT

They hack into Federal database

Find out where “domestic terrorist” designation came from

They catch a black ops team closing in on them

They’re surrounded

They sound the alarm/ call the FBI/ Police

ADRENALINE

They barricade themselves into the office

The Blackwater team can’t get in

FBI & SWAT show up – gun battle

Blackwater team bugs out

FBI arrest Girl

[ray Moore]

Ray’s Level 3 Action Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add danger, excitement, and adrenaline to take an action scene to the next level.

Final Fight Scene

1. Danger – The aliens are coming through a portal from another planet. They are devising their own efficient plan of attack against humans.

2. Excitement – The facility armament defends the laboratory to impede the trespassers.

3. Adrenaline = When the hero and his allies cross the line, the facility begins deploying weapons to stop the trespassers.