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Lesson 11
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5 Replies
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Ray’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is the progression of suspense, shock, and suspense to keep the roller coaster moving in the right direction.
1. Getting Promotion – Surprise
Setup – The captain tells him to come in the office
Transition – Coworkers acting squirrelly
Surprise – Captain pins badge on hero’s shirt
2. Seeing the Alien Army – Shock
Setup – Watch the first human being invaded
Transition – Slowly watching humans being invaded
Shock- Witnessing the Alien Army
3. Finding out the villain has been taken over by an alien – Suspense
Setup – See alien flying up to the villain
Transition Seeing the alien go into the villain
Suspense- Alien invades the villain
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Deb’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned:
Since the examples were given in three different scenes, instead of writing one scene, I decided to write three different scenes that utilize the three different action emotions. It was fairly simple when I focused on writing the scene with that particular emotion in mind. Again, putting aside any need for perfection.
Surprise:
A small chapel: a rough wooden table serves as an altar, draped with white linen, on which sits a rude wooden goblet and plate. A pastor wears a white chasuble and red stole. He holds a Holy Bible.
Titan, 23, wears a three-piece suit, and Valentia, 23, wears a red dress and headscarf. They face each other and hold hands as the groom and bride.
Only two people witness and sit in the first row: Valentia’s mother, Rahma, 65, and Valentia’s sister, Sisy, 18. The pastor has a wide, beautiful grin.
Pastor: You are now married.
Titan and Valentia smile adoringly and kiss. Rahma weeps. Sisy has a wistful look of joy.
RAPID FIRE of a machine gun breaks in. A nearby EXPLOSION rocks the small chapel and shakes dust from the ceiling.
They all look at each other. Valentia SIGHS.
Titan: We should probably
Valentia: Go
The pastor, big smile, makes the sign of the cross and waves as they all rush out the door.
Pastor: God’s peace be with you!
The four race out of the chapel into a third-world, war-torn city. They jump into an old Corolla and drive away. More MACHINE GUNS echo in the distance.
SHOCK:
Jimmy Blazer sits in a small dirt cell. His face is almost unrecognizable from bruises and lacerations. Cal stands above him, a holstered gun on his hip.
Jimmy: You think you can get away with this? I’m a national treasure. If you kill me, America will descend on you with a vengeance you can only imagine.
Cal: I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to kill you. And you’re not going to say a word about any of this.
Cal opens the door, and two thugs drag Marshal into the cell. He’s a wreck of a human being and half-conscious. Jimmy shivers.
Cal: This is my number three. He could track a tick across half the continent with nothing more than a sniff of a cloth. And, yet, here he is, the traitor, broken and in my power.
He shoots Marshal in the head. Jimmy is horrified.
Cal: You say anything to anyone, ever, and I will track you down and make it look like an accident.
Cal lifts and throws the lifeless body of Marshal onto Jimmy who pushes him off and cowers into the corner.
Suspense:
Jimmy Blazer sits alone in a dirt cell. He looks horrible.
An explosion rocks the room. Half-delirious he laughs and cries at the same time.
Jimmy: Go Joe!
RAPID GUNFIRE in the distance. He covers his head.
Jimmy (singing softly): “a real American hero, GI Joe is there”
Commotion outside the cell.
Guard 1 (O.S.): I’ll stay – you go.
Sounds of footsteps running away.
Jimmy (singing): “Never gives up, he’s always there, fight for freedom over land and air”
More GUNSHOTS. Getting closer.
Guard 1 (O.S.): What’s your status? What’s going on?
Jimmy (singing): “He never gives up; he’ll stay till the fights won, GI Joe is there”
A struggle ensues outside the cell. Grunting and Punching. Then silence.
Jimmy (singing): “GI Joe!”
Jimmy looks at the cell door as it opens, half in terror, half in resignation.
Titan walks in. Jimmy looks at him in shock and disbelief.
Titan: Let’s go.
Titan helps Jimmy to his feet. They exit.
At the door lays Guard 1, dead, his throat slit. Jimmy winces, gags, and moves on.
They pass more dead bodies as they climb the stairs to the outside.
The sunlight blinds Jimmy as he exits his prison.
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Ron’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that the suspense/surprise/shock sequence can be very useful in “upsetting” the audience, not letting them settle in to some attitudes about the circumstances. We have to shake them up, this is an ACTION FLICK. The first batch (anxiety,fear, relief) are useful tools in our kit bag to accomplish this task. So is this sequence (suspense, surprise, shock). Both can be used to put a “bump” in the story, to redirect the momentum of the scene, to not allow our audience to become complacent about our characters, the risks they’re taking, and how things are likely to turn out.
Outline of scene using Surprise, Shock and Suspense
This is from my Second Turning Point
SURPRISE: it’s dawn, we’ve pulled the 129 in under a canopy near an island to give the mechs some time to get the port engine running better. Suddenly
SURPRISE: An Avenger swoops over the 129, doesn’t see us. Low altitude, high speed, trailing smoke.
SECOND SURPRISE: moments later, the Avenger is being pursued by a Zero
SUSPENSE: Are we going to go to aid the Avenger? (doesn’t last long)
We’re out on the water, a little gimpy for the port engine, but firing away at the Zero. Eventually the Avenger goes down in the water, followed shortly by the Zero. We approach both sites to look for survivors.
SURPRISE: one crew member is alive, the rear seat gunner, kid from LA.
SUSPENSE: is the Zero pilot still alive?
We drive over to find out. He is, glaring at our crew, floating in a blow-up dinghy.
SUSPENSE: what are going to do with this guy? Some argue for taking him back to Rendova, but there’s no brig there. Some just want to shoot him, but that’s unlawful.
SURPRISE: The Avenger rear seat gunner speaks Japanese!
SHOCK: we hear one shot offscreen. We turn around and our hero is standing on the deck of the 129 with the Thompson in his hands. A little wisp of smoke is emerging from the barrel. As we look over at the pilot, he’s still scowling, maybe more than before, but his blow-up dinghy has a new hole in it, and he’s already have submerged into the water.
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CJ’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned from this assignment is that when writing the actual scene it’s good to keep weaving little pops of these three emotions throughout the scene so you have beats building on beats to build suspense, surprise and shock.
1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use surprise, shock, and suspense: Opening scene
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.
Sleety, snowy, grim November night. Spooky abandoned Pittsburgh steel mill on the Allegheny River. A woman dressed in tactic gear climbs a ladder over a huge smelter. There’s a sniper rifle strapped to her back along with other tactical gear, she unslings a rifle and peers through its night-vision scope. SUSPENSE
Inside the FBI Command Center we now see that the woman is FBI Special Agent Lucy Guardino leading her team as they set up a perimeter, planning to take down a drug/weapons deal between the Bratva and a local gang. Lucy’s second is undercover, waiting for the Bratva to arrive.
The team is focused on the street entrance but through Lucy’s night-vision scope we see her targets: a group of men on the deck of an approaching tugboat. (Small SURPRISE) Lucy focuses on one of the “sailors,” her night vision scope making his Russian Mafia neck tattoo appear ghastly. She alerts her team and they reposition, has the tech controlling the drone do another sweep to make sure there are no more surprises and he gives them the all clear, the targets on the boat appear to be alone.
Lucy sights through her scope, focusing on the Bratva arriving at the pier. The Russians don’t seem wary, no one acts as if they’re anticipating any problems. Two men casually jump from the boat to the pier, looping a mooring rope over a cleat. No weapons in sight.
Sleet bounces from the metal surrounding Lucy and the night grows still. Lucy frowns, something’s off here. SUSPENSE
Her second, Walden squares his shoulders, leaning into his undercover role of pissed-off drug dealer angry at being kept waiting in the sleet and cold, approaches the boat. Lucy tells him to slow down, tells the tech to switch the drone to thermal—he argues he already did a scan but then on his screen we see cold, black “empty” cargo containers suddenly light up with reds and oranges as armed men emerge and attack. SURPRISE
Lucy gives the abort order as the night lights up with gunfire, aimed at her team. Lucy instantly provides cover fire to protect them. The emerging Bratva force launch flash-bangs, pinpointing her team on the ground. From her sniper perch Lucy calmly takes down bad guys, as her team regroups and returns fire.
She pivots to target the tugboat. The Bratva leaders are smiling at the chaos they’ve wrecked as the tugboat sails away. Lucy’s second has vanished—hopefully gone to cover as the firefight rages around him. Lucy’s team wins and everything goes quiet. She scrambles down the ladder, feet pounding as she races to the dock… only to find her second floating in the water, not shot, no, the Bratva took the time to leave their boat and slit Walden’s throat before escaping. SHOCK
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~Contact.FirstName~ Level 2 Action Emotions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
SURPRISE/SHOCK
Setup:
Hero & Girl wait at hotel bar for Target to enter.
Suspicious character lurks in background.
Transition:
Target enters – goes to elevators.
Hero & Girl pay bill.
Look for suspicious character who’s gone. (relief)
Hero & Girl go to Target’s room.
Tragedy:
Door open.
Target lies on floor dead.
Hotel alarms go off – they were set up.
SUSPENSE/ ESCAPE:
They rush to stairs where there’s no cameras.
Rush UP the stairs.As law enforcement come up stairs.
Make a glorious escape from roof.
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